#however! the other two i very much like
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
committing to my bit
gonna make my new niche drawing fish with dta quotes. just because i can.
#idk if i like the angler fish one#however! the other two i very much like#gonna turn the rainbow trout into a t shirt#fish.media
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Heart wants what it wants.
#aphrodite#helen of sparta#greek myth art#trojan war#the iliad#judgement of paris#the alt caption was gonna be 'the apple of my eye' but I decided on this instead bc I like the multiple meanings you could infer here#also fun fact: 'The Heart wants what it wants' is a Emily Dickinson quote from a letter she sent to her friend regarding how much the#friend missed her husband who was away at the time. So yeah. Extra fitting for this don't you think :')#Anyway. This is the first time I've posted my aphrodite design on here! I'm not surprised it ended up being a toxic yuriliad piece tbh#you can interpret the imagery and symbolism however you like. just know this was the tamer idea of the two involving golden apple(s)#one day i'll attempt the other idea because I like it too. both are very sapphic and gay so you haven't missed out much I promise 💜#yay for conflicted feelings! hooray for tragedy and love and angst and desire! yippee!#what if a woman was in love with two men (and a goddess).#and what if a goddess loved a mortal woman and knew her heart like the back of her hand. and had her wrapped around her finger. what then.#capri_art
65 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Family ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Isabeau#Mirabelle#Odile#I have not been able to stop drawing Sif's black ensemble under their cloak ever since I learned about it#The cutest#His favourite colour is black and he wears all black and he dyed his hair black so now it's two-tone!#Stopppp that's too cute#Got curious and yes - fully black-haired Sif is Very cute <3 Contrast lad#Pls gentle touches to Sif they deserve soft holds <3#I'm really happy with their hand expressions there ah Isa's big hands and Sif's small and cute#They love each other!! However whichever way <3#The posing for Sif and Mira is awkward because I was trying to draw the one with them hugging and failed lol#So they're just existing in proximity and happy about it <3 Just being together is fun!#I do love Sif getting practice in on positive touch but also just being nearby and being happy <3#Good company for certain#Can you tell I'm less practiced at drawing Odile so far lol#She is pretty <3 I didn't fully understand the lesbian catnip comments at first but I think I get it now lol#Her flyaways are probably my favourite hehe <3 Gotta draw her with crows feet sometime! Lovely ♪#I love her watching out for the younger members of the party in her cool and dry way hehe - Sif is sleepy! But he needs a push to go nap#There's the hug yaaay <3#I like everyone's outfits very much but I will admit to not using references when I drew Mira :'D More the vibes of her clothes lol#I'll draw them proper sometime!#Odile's outfit is very pretty <3 I love all the allusions to gems ah it's so cool#Such a lovely bunch!
117 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ohiwe (lady) and Ohime (man) aka the fire deity after they get punished.
Originally just "Oh", the fire deity had a bit too much fun with punishing humans and so in a means to stop them, the elder gods split them into two. So now they have to be together in order to have their "full" power but as before the split, they get restless and like to wander. So while one stays in their city, the other gets to go out and travel and see the world and check on the other deities.
Also, as a whole/singular being Oh would use they/them. After the split however, it's definitely not the same and so Ohiwe likes using female pronouns and Ohime uses male pronouns. That way when discussed as one, it's back to they. That feels best for them.
#my characters#i posted the unified base version to my side blog but they arent very exciting it was just a lil doodle#however as i sit here waiting for my throbbing headache to go away im dying squirtle i figured id try to doodle#before i work on the comm and unfortunately my head still hurts so back to medicine i go#also also ohime is much more mild in his commentary where ohiwe is sharp and harsh#and ohiwe is definitely more fond of running the city than ohime but that also means she gets more restless quicker#so he unfortunately is stuck in the city more than she is because she needs to wander#she still does most of the planning as she wanders and then talks it over with ohime when she returns#i wanna make a funny joke about how they are indeed the last two brain cells type of thing#but also they are on the same wavelength almost all the time cause they started as the same person#but its always a bit of a jump in their logic to other people while they remain on the same page#like ohiwe says something and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS#and everyone else is like no ??? but ohime is like WE HAVE TO TAKE A NAP#or something and ohiwe is like exactly ! glad one of you in the room knows whats up
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
it should be said that some of you are way too dorky about laika
#emergency broadcast system#like okay name another animal that went to space. just one. an american one maybe? no? just soviets bad dog killers?#you say id rather have a very pampered dog that doesnt know whats happening before during or after to die in space than a human who does#and everyone loses their minds on dork.com (tumblrs true domain title)#i am fine with people who acknowledge that she was very well cared for and loved. and i like her being a symbol of space exploration#because its a very important study that we needed live subjects to continue. and if she is emblematic of that i hold no ill regard#however when people are like wahh scientists killed laika baby dog poor pupper whateverrr#name another dog. a monkey maybe. other animals went to space and died. and had names. and caretakers. and many lived too#name a living non human animal that went to space. theres dozens. a cat even. whats her name. what about the tortoises. many hatched eggs.#like oh my god theres so much interesting stuff. also name a human thats not the first man in space nor the first two men on the moon.#actually just name the other guy that was there with neil armstrong and buzz aldrin. if you cant pass this bare minimum you cant-#-web weave all day about laika. especially as an american
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello, hello, you all — so... i hope you all are having a great thursday thus far, and i thought i'd bring this up now since i hadn't before; but with ana's zombification comes some noticeable differences to his behavior as well as appearance. because, and don't get me wrong, he was already pale before... but now anastasiy's skin now has this pallor that takes on a sickly look. and it has become necessary for ana to have to apply some concealer to his skin daily to hide the fact that his lips are, indeed, sort of tinged blue + some veins (particularly around his eyes and mouth) can clearly be seen and it definitely isn't the most uhh. natural look, to say the least JSJSJ
now, i'll probably cover more about his behavioral differences later, but one thing is that this man does have these SICK and TWISTED urges to consume human flesh as a zombie would in typical fiction would... so that's lovely / j LMAO nahhh, i'm totally being sarcastic with y'all right now as that is actually horrifying. but anastasiy does try his darndest to resist giving into this temptation because cannibalism is a BIG no-no in society for a reason (because its absolutely terrible and extremely gross) + with... slightly mixed results 😬
#NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT BRAVERY FEELS LIKE FEAR: musings.#SEE HOW OUR WANTS HORRIFY US: headcanons.#TO SUFFER. IT MEANS GOD IS NEAR. GRACE — LIKE A SCALPEL WITHOUT ANESTHESIA: character study.#ooc post.#yeah so... i'll have you know that i was THIS close to calling ana 'mister man' but then i was like JSJSJ nah i've got to be a littleee more#serious here even though i am pretty much the queen of being sillay by now BC idk how i would make that work while talking about-#CANNIBALISM so... yeah ☠️ but anyways how are we feeling about ana's character so far y'all? but OFC there's no pressure for anyone-#to answer that i'm just genuinely curious NGL haha. because i think that anastasiy is pretty different from peeps like barton-#and blamore in the way that he is still morally bankrupt for killing people as it's NEVER alright and/or justified to do that#in ana's mind however he was torn between two impossible choices and he didn't know that manja's deal would be as bad as it turned out-#to be. but he still has to take responsibility for the fact that he made it and that his moral compass is definitely entirely skewed now#because saving person in exchange for dooming a bunch of others is... 😬 yeahhh i think we all can agree that it's a selfish choice#at the very least#tw: body horror.#tw: cannibalism.#tw: mentions of murder.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Man.
there's just something about the love between a woman whose impending death is inevitable and a man who's an immortal undead...
#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#starlach is so beautiful but so fucking tragic#apparently you cannot save karlach as astarion unless you've ascended#you cannot join her in avernus as a spawn :(#bro and it kills me karlach has been unwillingly celibate for 10 years#but that doesn't matter. she loves astarion SO MUCH she just wants to be with him. however she can.#AND THE FUCKING KISSES????? dude she is SOOO gentle with him!!!!!!!!#makes me think of this one short french film. which is obv a bit different from karlach and astarion's romance.#but it's still about valuing the love you have while it's there. because it can be lost so so easily.#basically a husband is cheating on his wife but then his wife falls terminally ill. and so he takes care of her.#and while taking care of her he realises just how much he loves her. he stops seeing the other woman. and stays with his wife to the end.#just the devotion he shows her in her remaining time alive and then the final shot where he's alone and just. dumbstruck with grief....#I saw this film years ago and it still sits with me. it was so beautiful and tragic. very french! lmao.#just makes me think of starlach in a way though. like the beauty of that limited time karlach and astarion would have together.#and the fucking tragedy that would be karlach dying and astarion...immortal astarion.... being alone again.#ugh MAAAN!!!! starlach and wyllstarion and wyllach are all SUCH good pairs#they offer a veritable buffet of the most wonderful. tender. and tragic romance tropes T____T#I have to give credit where credit is due. thank you larian for two VERY fucking good m/f pairings.#so easy for writers to come up with piss poor m/f romances that have no chemistry but karlach works SOO well with either astarion or wyll.#i wish the fandom wasn't. well as fandoms normally are. you know. 😒#literally any of these three pairs SHOULD be the most popular imo.#if you disagree- that's your own opinion. I am not here to fight with people.#also one last thing? the youtube poster's icon fucking KILLED me. please look at it.
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
drafting and planning my little temeraire inspired agszc fic, and the puzzlepieces of this massive narrative are starting to take shape!! With everything from subplots to political intrigue to romance and detailed planning of what happens when and where kinda working out, I just need to actually make sure it all connects smoothly now! but did I also just spend a couple of hours trying to fit in the concept of a dragon taking up fishing to pass the time, simply because the idea seemed so silly, for plot reasons?
yes, i did.
#my writing#agszc#asgzc#or whatever that ship is abbreviated to lmao#ff7 fic#that dragon au#i am however trying out drafting in “reedsy” for this project#and although the actual writing within the program makes me want to scream as it keeps moving my cursor back into the middle of a word as I#type my sentences#i do however very much enjoy the planning board feature#allowing me to just shuffle shit around#so i then can just throw some extra little detail or chapter in between two other planned concepts#without having to copy and paste a million times#very convenient#but im still a slag for microsoft word thank you very much#the ultimate writing program it is just undefeated#has all the features i need and i know it like the back of my own hand#also collapse/expand headings is the best fucking thing since sliced bread
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
I think you might find the mother-daughter sexual abuse angle in Black Swan of interest if you haven't already delved into that
yesss
I was really taken aback by their relationship when I first watched the film because the incestuous subtext was pretty blatant and I hadn't seen any discussion around it beforehand. The idea of the abusive mother is still pretty hard to register for certain people, so when you add sexual abuse into the mix, plus inflicted on another woman, it mostly disappears from analysis.
#asks#it made me absolutely crazy when I watched it at the time cause NO ONE was talking about it and I felt like I was just making connections#which weren't there#but so many things hint towards this interpretation and tbh it's not that surprising that it's an overlooked subject.#it's very often reduced as mommy issues as many relationships in other medias are without looking much further#(Sharp Objects for instance. like... how can you read the book and not see that. anyways)#Some of the interractions they have can be read this way (like the scene where Nina licks Erica's finger or 'are you ready for me?')#But the one where it truly clicked for me was when they showed Nina's room opened right after she wakes up from her night with 'Lily'#plus the 'Sweet Girl' during the sex scene#Tbh I can't really say if anything really happened between the two at this moment. but it's extremely telling to end the scene this way#The interpretation that Lily in this moment is a projection to think of somebody else while it's Erica who's truly there is plausible#However I don't know if Aronofsky thought of it that way. I think it was supposed to be read as an hallucination through and through and#given the incestuous undertones established earlier in the film it was more to be seen as a psychosexual/Freudian dynamic#But idk. Erica still violates Nina's boundaries repetively and says things concerning how attrative and sexually desirable she is#which are beyond the simple dominating role most people associate to her#SO YEAH ! I spent quite some time thinking about this relationship last year since I thought I was losing my mind at first#might have to rewatch Black Swan now...#black swan#my thoughts
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
i really want to hear your opinion on this. I feel like some people underestimate pecco a lot. most of the people I’ve seen on here are talking like it’s certain that marc will do better than pecco next year, but I’ll be surprised if it’ll be actually like this. pecco has way more experience on the ducati and nobody understands the ducati like pecco does. see race weekends like assen or mugello, he’s literally unstoppable and I feel like he’s even holding back. plus pecco is 26yo and he’s in his prime and probably will be for at least two more years before the decline inevitably begins, and he’s injury free! but the real advantage he has over marc, in my opinion, is that he literally lives under pressure and he already knows that marc will try to hit him on the track and above all mentally. he knows what he is getting into. when he talks about wanting to maintain harmony in ducati it’s because he’s already aware that marc will ruin it. like yeah ppl r saying a lot that marc is going to destroy pecco and all that, but right now the facts state that pecco is a 2 times wdc back to back (probably 3 by the end of this year) and right now on the ducati he’s the best rider of the grid. marc won his last wdc in 2019, it’s been years since he won, and he got his arm fucked up in the process. so yeah marc will try everything to destroy pecco but he needs to be careful to not destroy himself in the process. (this is not marc hate, I’m just tired of seeing people understanding pecco)
first of all, I'm broadly with you on a lot of this, anon, though I wouldn't quite as far as to say I'm predicting pecco to beat marc. second of all, I do think I have a bit of a problem where I have my rational sports brain - but I also have the other less rational bits of my brain. and some of those irrational bits are currently stuck in this mode where I have two different fundamentally contradictory mindsets that are kinda... mental blocks in terms of me predicting what will actually happen next year
mental block #1 is 'you've been following sports all your life and you know how this goes'. like, I've kinda been conditioned to think if you aren't a wunderkind, one of the talents of the century, already a megastar when you were in your nappies bla bla, you're basically fucked? certainly fucked when you are going up against one of those prodigies. you may get close and trick everyone into thinking it's actually possible, but... idk. this is a mindset that broadly stood me in good stead when I started watching motogp, like you just don't bet against fuck you talent. something like 2017, I never really thought marc was going to lose that title. so when I look at marc and pecco, however much I rate pecco there's a bit of my brain that automatically goes 'yeah but marc will win anyway'. it's that kind of... sometimes things that look slim differences in sports, margins that should be small aren't actually small at all, and in a way the end outcome feels like it was always kinda inevitable. I get that same sense when I'm watching 2005 last lap duels between sete and valentino - these are situations where you both parties should have a decent shot, but somehow you know that if you ran the simulation one hundred times, it'd basically always go one way. it's the illusion of competitiveness. one guy's always got something a little bit extra in the back pocket
mental block #2 is that it's actually been really fucking long since I've seen marc win and there's been a lot of false dawns on this front. I thought he'd win the title in 2020. I kinda thought he'd win the title in 2021. I was at least open to the possibility he'd win it in 2022. okay, in 2023... but you could still go 'yeah but he's finally physically fit now' (or, well, you could until the first race weekend was done). and honestly? gut feeling, I was feeling pretty bullish about 2024, partly because I didn't think the gap between the bike specs would be this noticeable. so by now it's a bit? you know, I kinda need to see him win again to believe it? which he probably does too, just a touch, and that makes it a completely different proposition from all those other titles... within this sport in particular, it's really not that easy to recover from years in the wilderness. you never really know if he can get close to handling the field like he did in his prime until he does it again. and... however impressive I've found him this season, which I really, absolutely have, I still haven't seen that from him. I also feel like currently... the magic is still there but his pace is so fragile, and that used to be the really scary thing about him - the relentlessness of his pace. this year, it's one lap pace, it's weekend to weekend, it's how sometimes he's slower in races than you thought he'd be - and yes, there are all these other explanations, but... well, again, if the bike is holding him back, if it's the ducati adaptation period, then that's all well and good. but I'm not really going to feel that's true until I actually see the next step
now obviously both of those things can't be true - and the fun thing about next year is that I don't actually feel it's a done deal. because, yes, people do underestimate pecco. and also because, yes, there's still some real question marks about the version of marc we're getting. just look at this sachsenring situation... obviously 'someone could get injured' is quite a depressing way to look at future title fight permutations, but you can't really treat it as a certainty that it won't happen, no? I feel like one element of last year that doesn't quite get the attention it deserves is that pecco was winning that title a whole lot more comfortably before a bike ran over his leg. the race right after that was misano, where pecco had won the two previous years and there's zero reason to believe he couldn't have done so again rather than take two laboured p3's. that's not a title fight anyone's primarily remembering as an injury arc (cf too the le mans crash) - but it clearly did play a big role and could easily have been decisive, without actually taking out one of those two contenders of competition. marc used to win his titles with a whole lot of throwing himself down the road to find the limit of his bike, but he can't afford to do that any more (if he ever could). we still need to see what version of marc we're getting, if we're getting a version who can just be fast anywhere come sunday - or a very good version of marc who isn't quite that. who knows exactly how much worse the gp23 is than the gp24! who knows how much more there still is to come in terms of ducati potential from marc! we have rough indications, but it's far from definitive. maybe one of them doesn't click at all with next year's bike! we'll only know when we see it play out!
and yet I still expect deep down that marc wins that. it's just kinda supreme belief in his fuck you levels of talent, the belief that he'll figure it out somehow because I've seen him do it so many times. and of course, the other big problem is we don't know what version of pecco we're getting! I have talked before about how historically unusual pecco is as a champion in many ways, which for me always makes it quite tricky to figure out what he'll do in basically any situation. like, where is his ceiling? is he still going to get better? is he going to get his act together? my problem is that I feel like I enter every single season going 'yeah I reckon this year pecco will get his act together, ugh he's going to dominate the field' and then it's just a bit? is this just who you are as a rider, or is this something you can still change?
the thing is, with my fullest respect to pecco's titles, however much I enjoyed those train wrecks, obviously you cannot do this against a version of marc marquez that is remotely up to scratch. like, you just cannot. pecco cannot do a 2022 and expect to win the title. against an even slightly serious version of marc marquez. on the same bike. pecco can't really do a 2023 either. I'll give him a pass for some of those late season results, but if you're chucking it down the road that often early on then, yeah, no
that being said... low key if you ignore all the little numbers, this year is actually a serious title fight...?
like I am always aware that acknowledging this could make them both dnf five times in a row but...? there's one sunday race one of them haven't won, and cota is its own thing. everything else...? whisper it softly but this is a good title fight? 2022-23 were sort of accidentally good because everyone's errors and runs of good forms and performance trajectories just kinda coalesced so you got late season drama, but this? consistent high level of performance from both blokes, decent wheel-to-wheel action between both title rivals at several different races (definitely more than in 2015 and everyone remembers that as a classic, also on course to be more than in 2013 and most years 2007-12). idk, at what point do we just have to acknowledge these guys are pretty good at what they do? sure they're on the strongest bike, as are the vast majorities of blokes who win titles historically. but bastianini's reasonably highly rated and he's not even gotten particularly close to winning a sunday race this year on the exact same bike - one p2 on merit snagged on the last lap and another one less on merit when vinales was highsided to the moon for mechanical reasons right ahead of him. yes, the title contenders have had some howlers... pecco's portimao and catalunya sprints were... well, y'know, and martin's jerez race and mugello sprint were also... y'know. but apart from that?
idk man... we can cry over photos of casey on his gp7 all we like, but at the end of the day these twits have come out with some class performances these last two years. and at a certain point you've just gotta hand it to them. they've become more experienced at how to manage a title fight, which is how you get a version of martin this year who is still fast but is less likely to phillip island it. some of those performances late last season were great! for every martin qatar and pecco india, you also get a martin thailand and a pecco indonesia. maybe they'll stop chucking it down the road so often, or maybe they'll keep chucking it but so will marc, because these days they have ridiculously many opportunities to do so! I also think it's worth pointing out that minus some questionable early season form from pecco, those two are basically always on the pace! they're always there or thereabouts! that's how marc used to kill his title rivals, not necessarily by winning a bunch of races but by making sure he was always picking up points - because he didn't have any truly slow weekends. these guys don't either at the minute! we are seeing them actually get better in front of our eyes, it's great
the other stuff... oof, I don't know what pecco's prime will end up being - remember, actually he's low key already edging out of title-winning age. he's now 27. this century, only two riders have won titles when they were older than 26 - valentino twice and jorge once. obviously, that's partly happenstance, and you don't suddenly get struck down by 'being washed' lightning when you turn 27... plus on the flip side, I also think the fact that pecco has only reached his prime relatively recently means he could have quite a few more years to go. who knows! who knows if marc being increasingly more breakable becomes a big factor! recovering from injuries gets tougher the older you get and the more knocks you've taken! on the other point, the ducati is a bike pecco knows very very well and has a lot of time riding... but broadly speaking I do trust marc with a year's worth of experience get as much out of that bike as he ever will. just the fuck you talent again. we don't know what that performance level looks like, but I don't think it'll be a question of familiarity any more at that stage
so where does that all leave us? do I really want to be making motogp predictions this far in advance? yeah, sure. if I had to put money on it, I'd still back marc, I think? but I really do hope we get a proper fight, and I really do think we might! I'm far from convinced in writing off pecco. basically *grabs the crystal ball, aka checks the races we've literally just watched* let's say pecco absolutely dogwalks the field at a few circuits. like maybe a mugello, an assen, a cute qatar, even a catalunya now he's faced down his demons (though maybe jorge on that aprilia goes bye bye at montmelo). then give marc his races where he laps the field twice in cota and sachsenring. and we're going to get a few classic duels, for the fans. if those duels happen at the mugello's and catalunya's of this world, pecco's might be in deep shit. if they happen at the misano's and aragon's and maybe even jerez's, we can get something going. they both have at least one silly early season crash (also kinda tradition for marc outside of his peak peak seasons lbr) and everyone gets to call pecco a bottler and crank out the good ol' crashquez. and then hopefully we can massage those numbers enough that pecco isn't crashing three times to marc's one and we actually get a proper title fight. and hopefully they don't get injured too badly. I've said this before, but I could easily see a title fight where pecco wins most of the big duels but his inconsistencies let him down. if his bad days are p3's, however, or if marc himself is a bit flaky at times, then we're suddenly having a very different conversation (also don't feel that comfortable in writing off aprilia/ktm and their respective star riders, especially in year two of the factory ducati partnership)
one thing about pecco (that you do also bring up anon)... if there's one trait in his competitive makeup that most reminds me of marc, it's his resilience. he's very good at bouncing back, he's very good at dealing with adversity, a lot of the times he's at his best when he's under ridiculous amounts of pressure... if anything, he's worse when he has reason to feel confident. it comes through both in what a class defensive rider he is and how good he is at dealing with title fight pressure. if there is ever a time where he mentally gets his act together at the very start of the season, surely it's going to be when he has the famous marc marquez in his garage. if that doesn't do it, literally nothing ever will. and listen, knowing marc will try to mess with you isn't quite the same as being able to stop him from messing with you. wanting to maintain harmony doesn't mean your chances of maintaining harmony are necessarily great. but... you know, pecco got his first ever win by defending against marc lap after lap, facing essentially the most stressful situation imaginable with the 93 on his tail. marc made him a better rider that day. marc might make him a better rider next year too... you never know
#though anon I WILL say I'm not that confident about this year's title!! I rate pecco but I don't rate him in running away with titles#the extension of 'actually pecco bagnaia is a great motogp rider' HAS to be 'actually jorge martin is a great motogp rider'#but anyway we really don't knooooooooow#like none of this is USEFUL analysis but of course I too have sports fan syndrome and LOVE thinking about this stuff#my response is basically 'well marc could win by two million points. but he could lose too!!' which is objectively useless#but that's the joyyyyyy speculation is fun!! i love sports#i will get a bit pissy if i DON'T get one direct title fight between those two. like i feel like i've been very patient with this sport#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#was determined to actually send out this ask BEFORE most of sachsenring plays out. slay.#do think it would help marc to get a win on the board sooner rather than later but oh well#anyway i WILL do prop for this title fight and even last year for free however much i enjoy ragging on everyone involved#like yeah they're silly. but also athletes being a bit shit sometimes is good for the ecosystem!! flaws make stuff more exciting#admittedly if they just chuck it then it's not that much fun. but phillip island??? that was soooooooo great#also people do just forget the aliens were silly sometimes... you watch the 2009 title fight and tell me those were serious operators#actually don't watch 2009. watch literally any other noughties season before you watch 2009#(except maybe 2002/2007)#current tag
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3
#personal#i honestly wrote it bc i was feeling quite Bad abt very Old Wounds haha as i am sometimes wont to do#bc of a person/event that reminded me of my abuser#i thought it may resonate with like one or two people but i mainly wrote it for myself#and i am so surprised that so many people have messaged me about it#also kinda sad bc that means they've Not Had A Good Time#however i'm very glad my fiction can provide some sort of relief/catharsis#it's an isolating experience to have very ambivalent feelings abt your own abuse#and to become aware of your own patterns of seeking to repeat it/seeking toxic dynamics that remind you of it#about 6 years have passed since i was last abused in such a way#and while i do get randomly sad about it and while it has affected my psyche in a very significant way#and while i still do get the occasional flashback albeit it is much more rare nowadays#and still do react to certain things quite disproportionately#i have to say it DOES get better#esp if you make a tangible effort to heal#you will get there#and while it is a part of you it is not who you are#and you are capable of living a fulfilled and satisfying life#sexually and otherwise#i used to be so upset about not being a Good Victim#but the best thing i've done is that i have given myself grace and stopped policing/moralising my own experience#(that does not mean allowing myself to engage in repeated self-abuse)#(even if i have slipped a couple of times bc i am human)#i have allowed the space for my toxic fantasies instead of trying to banish them#but i have sought to fill my life with other positive experiences#while not forgetting or erasing the negatives#and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy#also kink has helped a lot as well as writing#but i advise ppl to tread VERY carefully with kink as esp as abuse survivors#it is a slippery slope and it can be dangerous in many ways
8 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Bowtie Charm! Inspired by @zarla-s‘ super cute rendition hehe 💕 (Patreon)
Bonus collar breakdowns:
Changes depending on the doodle!
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#And a couple other sonas! Haha#Very yays and thank yous again for the trade ♥ She's so cute hehe#She doesn't normally wear a bowtie but her collar can look a lot like it at times!#I decided to go all in to see just how she Would look with a bowtie and the answer is cute! I for one am shocked#My bowties tend to be quite poofy huh always very rounded - Charm's collar tapers kinda almond shaped#I'm still not entirely sure how the double-tapered look works.... It's scalloped >.> That's what I always say lol#Really she probably would and should have the Mandarin collar - possibly more scalloping >:3c - I just go outside the margins a lot haha#I've drawn her once or twice with the butterfly collar tho! Where her collar dips down into her spiderweb pattern at the top of her shirt!#It's a really cute shape ahhh it works best with my lineless stuff but even here I think it turned out nice! :D Cute! Pretty!#Butterfly in a spiderweb........wings something something much to think about#Butterfly were 100% my gateway into finding bugs and eventually spiders cool so there you go symbolism-wise lol#Still remember being too excited to sleep as a littley on the promise of going to a butterfly house the next day hehe <3 Love 'em!#Fullbody as well - the larger dot in the middle of her kneepad in Zarla's looks like a donut to me so I had to try that out too!#Smol's actually been talking about making a donut/eclaire-themed JD Resident lately I can't steal her thunder hehe ♪ Oh just this once#Donut kneepads probably would offer a good bit of support that cookie kneepads don't huh :0 Less pressure right on the kneecap#All the cutes! Though I did keep her double-scalloped thigh-high shoes I can't help it they're my favourite haha#And ending off with the other two Bowtie Sonas! Hall of Mirrors definitely deserves that moniker she was introduced with that as a feature#And their cane but pfsh details - the important part is the bowtie! And they have that!#Will's is just to break up his design a bit haha - I think Erase has the same style of bowtie now that I think of it??#White on white tucked into the jacket... Hm!#Always love a trio or duo or however ♪ The fun the fun ♫
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! I found you though your superhero AU, which i love, by the way! I really enjoy your writing style, so I was wondering what your writing process is, in particular, do you have a plan/outline you follow, or do you have a list of little snippets of writing you want to include, etc. Just really curious!
oh my god the question i've been dreading. so funny thing, for the longest time, i actually didn't have an outline or like. a plan. at all
this wasn't even originally going to be a series, it was just supposed to be the first part 😭 but then people started liking it so much (and i live off of attention and comments) so i decided to make a part two and it kind of skyrocketed from there. did not expect we'd be getting past 20k words this is my longest series ever LMAO
but it's not like i have nothing planned out — like i know what's going to be happen with etho and the agency (to an extent) and i've pretty much got the whole ranchers and gempearl storyline down. but desertduo and boat boys..... i've kinda been taking it part by part.
that however does lead to things being repetitive and getting a little stale. so i've been planning things out more lately, and i'm very pleased to say that now i do have (kind of) an idea on the ending. which i have no idea when is going to happen
#yeah i'm very unorganized#i was honestly not expecting this series to go on for so long#almost two whole months!!!!!! a lot for me#but yes i have no intention of leaving this unfinished 🙏#i have no idea how i'm going to fix boat boys tho i'm gonna be very honest rn#slightly terrified it's getting a little repetitive.#bfop au#my asks#about around the fourth part of the series i made a notes app page for all the things i want to have in this series#like titles (you like your girls insane is one of my favs) and lines (which i will not spoil cuz i've got some BANGERS) and other details#(like ages#i do have certain parts outlined however#there was going to be a part titled “interlude — xelqua” and it was going to be about grians story#i have so much written for that. idk if it'll be published ever but#yeah it had acts (act i: destruction act ii: salvation act iii: war act iv: peace)#and i had pages upon pages of notes#but for the general story i have very very little
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
not dipping back there again after this, but my opinion on where the discourse re: us politics is heading is not getting any nicer.
#thoughts#personal#not a vagueblog about any blog in particular#because it's been a deluge on my dash for a good two to three weeks from every side and almost every US blog I follow#I don't even disagree with the endgoal (I mean I extremely do but I understand the stakes)#but I deeply *deeply* disagree with the way it's all being framed#though I'm not surprised. and I wasn't expecting better.#but yeah in a couple of years we might all need to unpack what that strategy looked like from the outside.#because wow#the weaponization of “white guilt” in particular to silence what is often (from what I see) PoCs trying to express their loss of faith#is. so very revealing to me.#the assumption of motive and identity here and how much more convenient it feels than the actual messy complicated truth#I think the usage of “white guilt” and “white saviorism” as a weapon thrown in between white people to control each other's behavior#especially in moments like these where PoCs are explicitely demanding our collective solidarity and voice#is actually a conversation we should all very seriously have at some point#anyway.#not mad at anyone for wanting to vote for biden#kinda mad at a good 75% of the posts prompting people to do so however.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Coral cave act 1&2 mix playing in the bg
#wip#this is. going to be very blue. and kinda green#i'm not doing anything for new years. take this#also i'm FINALLY drawing stuff for eterna again#i may also post the lore doc. finally. after saying i'd post it like however long ago but never did#i just need to look at it and see if i wanna add anything to it or do any revisions#anyways. this is very much gonna be based on coral cave from rush adventure#i'm probably gonna do drawings of the other two guardians using other game areas as refs for the bgs#tho i'm probably gonna reference sky for those#not straight up copy but take screenshots and use that to base the drawings from#since i have so much trouble with bgs having interesting refs really helps#back on topic. look at herrrrr#she's admiring her collection of shiny things :]#she's like rouge. but not a professional thief she just grabs treasures whenever she finds them#doesn't care if they belonged to someone else they're hers now sorryyyyyy#she might be a kleptomaniac. no one's really sure#i love her expression here too i think it's really good :]#i need to stop rambling ok i'm gonna go play viddy games bye
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk sometimes there is a certain absolute horror to be had when you snap out of it for a brief moment to remember how abnormal it all is
#this is specifically about the experience of feeling clothing soaked with blood and realising you did that to yourself but also other things#like to the doc today i said something about 'that's normal' and he said 'it's very much not'#which. yeah i knew. i was trying to explain how it felt to me. but his point was valid#idk emotions are going weird today#personal#tw sh#and in case you're wondering no i have not harmed more than the once tonight im just. still thinking abt it#also see: the horror when you're watching for how much blood and it refuses to bleed for a time and just sits and gapes at you#yes i promise none of these have absolutely required stitches or i would get stitches. but they get by#ugly scars? sure theyd be neater stitched. but also no#imagine facing the doctor after that! 'yes sir i know i promised i wouldn't bring seirous harm to myself for these two weeks however'#puddleglum hours
25 notes
·
View notes