dats-poetry

[dats-poetry]

Dear God

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Untitled

I might need to take a break.

Might need to stop my poetry.

Take some time for myself.

I've had a very hard time trying to.

Understand if the way I see myself.

Is the reason I am unhappy after all.

Or if it's the life situation right now.

When will I wake up, be excited?

That hasn't happened in many years.

I don't think that people understand.

If it felt so real, why was it wrong?

If I felt so in love, why was it bad?

If society said so, why did I let it?

If I'm always afraid, why try?

If it's always bad, why smile?

If I have to fake it, what's the use?

I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me from myself.

Please just save me, don't let me drown,

I can't fight this monster inside me.

I have tried to see a better view of things,

But I've never been truly happy.

I've never been truly happy,

I've only pretended to be smiling.

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Anxious Sunshine

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As a man.

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Dance under the sky

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I can love me (I hope so)

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Thoughts of that night

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I'm gone too far

I'm hurt. I'm suffering astray.

I need a hand to told tonight.

Unleash me from my pain.

I'm dying from all of the hurt.

Blood trickles down my soul.

I was so close to feeling love.

I've been wondering about it.

This depression is not healthy.

I lost myself in the dark forest.

Now there's no way back home.

There's no one to help me.

I closed myself off in this shell.

Now no one can see me.

I wish I had something more.

I wish I had not wasted time.

Isolating myself more often.

I should've let myself fear.

But not let it be a barrier.

Now I'm gone far too lost.

No one will find me in this place.

Sometimes I pray I don't wake up.

Tonight I might just follow along.

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Toxic Hope

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Self-love

I've said it as a lie in the mirror.

I said it to see if it would work.

But that's not how it works.

I've never done that at all.

I just pretended because they said.

That it'll help me feel alive.

Lately that feels like it was a lie.

I lied to myself months ago.

And yesterday yet again I did.

To make it through my life.

"It'll get better eventually"

I know that it's a total lie.

Or that that's how it feels.

But I still sip on this vase.

I just lied, I just lied to myself.

I've only once felt real love.

And that time it couldn't be.

Yeah I wish I could go back.

Rest in my mother's arms.

This is all one big lie I sold.

Go to sleep pray I've changed.

When the morning smiles.

But I can only kiss darkness's lips.

I never really understood why.

I was made to live my life alone.

A traumatized boy with no escape.

If you give me a chance I'll be scared.

To mess everything up even more.

I'm afraid of living in fear all life.

I wanted to love me, but I'm afraid of that.

Who would I be if I finally loved me?

I can't fathom a world like that.

So I just lay myself to cry to sleep.

Who would I be if I loved myself?

Don't think that that's possible at all.

Don't want to lie to myself again.

"Loving myself" was always strange.

Isn't love received outward to inside?

No, I don't love myself, I don't.

I don't think there was a time I did.

My worth was only what others said.

And maybe that's my downfall.

But I can't lie to the universe again.

I don't love myself.

Sometimes I wish I had.

I still don't know who I'd be.

If I decided to love me.

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Reminiscing on life

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My lovely therapist

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More Than Your Afterthought

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Embrace (Acogida)

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Amazing collab with Bluejay!

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Take me to Venus 💘

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