#how to stay motivated to study
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HOW TO STAY UNBOTHERED!
1. Never say more than necessary.
2. Don't allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.
3. Lower your expectations from others.
4. Let your success do the talking.
5. 10 people 10 different opinions. Stop pleasing.
6. Remember your haters are your fans.
7. Don't be afraid to say "NO".
8. Know your truth and be okay with someone else not believing you.
9. Stop taking things personally.
⢠Let go of control: You can't control others' actions or words, just your reactions.
⢠Humor: Learn to laugh things off when appropriate.
⢠Set boundaries: Limit contact with negativity and prioritize supportive people.
⢠Communicate clearly: Ask for clarification Instead of assuming negativity
⢠Shift your perspective: Consider the source and if their comment reflects on them more than you.
⢠Focus on what you can control: Improve your own communication and self-care.
⢠Thicken your skin: Build strong self-worth and know your value.
10. Healthy detachment.
⢠Let people be who they want to be, then decide if you want them in your life.
⢠Trust that rejection is always redirection to something bigger and better.
⢠Some people are only meant to help you grow, not be in your life forever.
⢠What if everything is falling apart to come together in a way you can't guess?
⢠Focus only on what you can control.
#studyblr#mental health#self improvement#studyspo#psychology#self esteem#college#self love#self care#self worth#self help#self awareness#spirituality#student#study#personal development#personal growth#philosophy#self confidence#university#medblr#it girl#becoming her#becoming that girl#glow up#healing#therapy#study motivation#quotes#how to stay unbothered
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Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.
Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.
He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.
#like he goes from knowing the the system in place ergo Curly will protect him from consequence even if unitentionally at first which#motivates him to take the measures he does but when that system also loses the ability to effectively stop him he drags the corpse around#like a memento of what he's achieved that slowly warps into a worship as he realizes how much it actually did and that even he struggles#without it cause i believe in light of the crash that the thought of losing Curly's unwavering support because he'd eventually protect Anya#over him when Curly's head was yanked from the clouds at either the baby's birth or just the way he was slowly putting things together as#the big picture became less appealing to look at like Curly was slowly realizing it and i think he knew at the crash scene but it was too#late if he stopped Jimmy or the crash their relationship would've forever been changed by the revalation and part of me wants like a dlc#spin off that deals with some psychological metaphorical horror dealing with that but also like I need jimmy dead.#then again none of this is new or even unique ive seen this explained but i also dont think its addressed that Jimmy's refusal to take#responsibility with Anya avoiding it A N D his envious codependency of Curly made him crash the Tulpar as there was not a way he could fix#the what he did to Anya in his mind without getting rid of her and or the pregnancy in a way that Curly wouldn't leave him and thats so#important like he only viewed Anya through his relationship with Curly and hed rather die than acknowledge her as a person and his assult#on her as something that could realistically get in the way of their relationship and taking advantage of it.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#i hate talking about this dick fuck but he also is like being fascinated by a venomous spider like stay away but i will study you
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is this what addiction feels like
thank you so much for every single person out there who is just as mentally deranged as i am, i love you with all that is left of my heart đŤśđŤśđŤśâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
#1000 likes#tumblr milestone#tysm for the pretty people that liked my posts#tysm for that one woman that was my first follower even though she posted cooking recipes and cat videos in five different languages#(i hadnât even posted anything)#uhm#tysm for ann that shows me support with each post i make no matter how stupid and lifts me up with her kickass talents and how i get a rush#of happiness each time i get a comment or message from her#tysm for wil (can i call you that?) that gave me the motivation to post in those first few days when he sent me the ask that gave me a#severe serotonin boost#tysm for james that could be quite literally the sweetest being alive#also tysm for jhonny youâre cool asf i want to study your brain and write a case study and publish it#and thank you so much to all my mutuals i might never say anything to you but i regularly check your posts and love yâall#also tysm to those that like my insanity fueled content (i do recognize your user every time you like one of my posts lol)#so uhm#thank you a lot for making my stay here wonderful#i hope itâs going to last a long time#you all just keep being awesome
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seems like you want to be a doctor for the wrong reasons⌠it shouldnât be about being able to be âpretentiousâ someday
this is a one piece blog
#i jest. i post other things too#SORRY i know it can be a pain in the ass to feel like someones audience is cringing at you but this a teaching moment ime#i dont post my whole life story on this fucking. blogging platform#i could tell you about rediscovering my passion for actual medical studies in 2021 after staying away from the field for most of a decade#thats because i was laughed at by trusted adults who thought kid being smart is funnee#i could tell you about how my adhd makes it very hard to get motivation unless im helping people and improving their lives measurably#i could tell you about how after pushing through the anxiety around having/contracting illnesses i feel more sure in pursuing biomed#but i wont and shouldnt have to#also i was just kidding when i said that. look at these tags I CAN BE PRETENTIOUS ASF RIGHT NOW đĽđĽđđŁ#ok. time to screenshot this for posterity for when im out of my op era because memeing on this ask coukd be timeless
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I'm 167 days sober off alcohol, weed, and nicotine. some days are easier than others and this week has been especially hard. I am thinking a lot about my childhood traumas and how they followed me into adulthood and how angry I still am about it all.
#personal#shut up hili#I'm angry and it makes me tired and unfocused#and tired and depleted#I did the absolute best I could with the information and maturity I had at the time#I truly trusted my family and now have learned that everyone is just looking out for themselves in this world#How am I supposed to be motivated to study and work hard right now#I think I'm entering a make it through the days mode#I just want to be engrossed in my work again#it used to be a good coping mechanism#and now I barely want to stay here#maybe I just need to go for a long walk#but I didn't bring my hat inside#I want to go home and play with my pets#I'm very grateful for my mom these days
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TO-DO LIST (30.10.2023)
đ¸ start reading a book for school
đ¸ work on my english presentation
đ¸ try come up with my halloween party costume
đ¸ look through my geography notes
đ¸ do a course on duolingo
#hey guys#school started (a while ago) and iâll try to be more active from now on#i remember how much this blog helped me to stay motivated last year#so iâm starting again :)#studyingwithcoffee#studyblr#study inspiration#student#to do list#to do today
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today i had my presentation on daydreaming & language learning and i think it went really well and bc today was the last day before summer break my prof, some of my colleagues and i went to a cafĂŠ after class
it was so nice because. not only did i get to have casual inspiring conversations about my topic (which everyone was intrigued by), but i was also just surrounded by lovely and supportive people who are just as much into linguistics as i am & i've never had that experience. like, nobody else in my life actively gets excited talking about language
#it seems like such a small thing but honestly i'm so glad i stayed after class#we had such a good time#actually talking to my colleagues who are at the same point in their studies about how they are doing.#chatting about motivation and procrastination and learning experiences#it was like a little group therapy#not once did i feel self-conscious or nervous#i hope to keep that memory for as long as possible#julia studies#madd
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i need to use mcpriceley as motivation for me to study for my exams especially since one of my exams today is about religion im so close to just closing my textbook & praying for the best
#last school year i used whizzvin as motivation to finish studying for my math exam#im so sleept idk how i was able to stay up until 3 last time to study for math#i need sleeeeeeep#another exam post sorry
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How To Stay Focused At Work | GrowthGrail
Are you struggling to stay focused amidst a sea of distractions in the workplace? You're not alone. In today's world, maintaining focus is a skill that separates high achievers from the rest. But don't worry! In this video, we explain 10 proven strategies that will revolutionize the way you work, boost your productivity, and help you achieve unprecedented levels of success. So, let's watch the entire video and learn how to stay focused at work.
Subscribeâ
https://bit.ly/4aLc2W9
Organize Your Workstation: Discover how a clutter-free workspace can enhance your mental clarity and productivity.
Craft an Hourly Work Plan: Learn to structure your day with an hourly plan to maximize efficiency and minimize distractions.
Embrace the Flow State: Find out how to achieve peak performance by immersing yourself fully in tasks. T
ake Purposeful Breaks: Understand the importance of breaks to recharge your brain and maintain high performance.
Crush Procrastination: Master the technique of time boxing to overcome procrastination and stay productive.
Champion Single Tasking: Focus on one task at a time to streamline your workflow and reduce errors.
Banish Smartphone Temptation: Minimize distractions by managing your smartphone use during work hours.
Streamline Your Inbox: Organize your emails to save time and reduce stress. Harmonize with Music: Use music to create a conducive work atmosphere and enhance your focus.
Harness the Power of Focus Apps: Utilize productivity apps to eliminate digital clutter and stay on track. By implementing these strategies, you'll be equipped to conquer distractions and unleash your full potential at work.
You can learn from this video how to avoid distractions at work. So, if you think this video is helpful stay with us for the next valuable content.
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insightful content on boosting productivity and achieving your goals. Stay focused, stay productive, and keep chasing your dreams!
#how to stay focused while studying#study tips#how to focus on work#productivity#motivational video#stay focused#focused on work#how to focus better at work#tips for focusing at work#how to avoid distractions at work#Youtube
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4theitgirls masterlist
workout posts
đ 30 day workout plan
đ âhow much exercise should i be doing?â
đ ab & core workouts
đ all about mobility
đ all about yin yoga
đ barre workouts
đ beginner guide to pilates
đ beginner pilates routines
đ cardio routines
đ christmas-themed workouts
đ december 2024 workout plan
đ fitness tips from adriana lima
đ full body workout routines
đ january 2025 workout plan
đ lower ab workout routines
đ lower body workout routines
đ mat workouts
đ mat workouts pt. 2
đ non-yoga stretch routines
đ november 2024 workout plan
đ pilates routines
đ standing workout routines
đ tone and flexibility workout routines
đ workout plan for beginners
đ workouts and stretches for your period
đ workouts and yoga for womenâs health
đ workouts and stretches for posture
đ workouts and stretches you can do in bed
đ workout youtube channels
đ workout youtube channels pt. 2
đ yoga routines
study posts
đ study like blair waldorf
đ study like elle woods
đ study methods
đ study like paris geller
đ ways to romanticize school
đ ways to stay organized in school
đ youtube channels for study motivation
bookish posts
đ¸ december 2024 book journal
đľ november 2024 book journal
đľ youtube channels for the book girlies
miscellaneous posts
đ¸ 2025 goals and plans of execution
đ¸ 2025 quarterly overview
đ¸ a guide to blair waldorf
đ¸ youtube channels to replace mindless scrolling
đ¸ christmas gift ideas
đ¸ cycle synching
đ¸ how to build a routine
đ¸ it girl spring cleaning
đ¸ it girl youtube channels
đ¸ it girl youtube channels pt. 2
đ¸ productive ways to fill your notebooks
đ¸ productivity apps for self improvement
đ¸ welcome to my blog
#girlblog#girlblogger#girlblogging#that girl#dream girl#it girl#self care#self love#glow up#becoming that girl#self help#self improvement#self development#wonyoungism#fitness blog#fitness#health#health aesthetic#health and lifestyle#health blog#pink pilates princess aesthetic#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#green juice girl aesthetic#green juice girl#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#wellness#wellness girl#masterlist
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If you don't know this already, please try and internalize it: the idea that people join the US military primarily because they are young people at a disadvantage in life coerced into believing it is the most accessible path to upward mobility is not true.
if you're parroting this talking point, you are doing propaganda for the US military and you just need to stop saying it. here's an article from the Military Times that breaks the finding of various studies like this one from 2020 and this one from 2018 that analyze motivations for joining the military and popular conceptions of motivations for joining the military. Here's a pretty important excerpt:
Further, they hypothesized that some of this possible misconception about poorer Americans joining the military was a geographical issue. While the Defense Department tracks the zip codes of recruits â and historically, many of them come from more rural areas in the southeast â it doesnât track their incomes or their parentsâ incomes, which leads to assumptions that the poorer their communities, the poorer the recruits. [...] Using Bureau of Labor Statistics data from 1997 to 2008, they found that the services have recruited primarily from the middle class, Americaâs largest socio-economic demographic. âWe show that recent recruits tend to have higher than average socioeconomic background: they disproportionally come from the middle of the family income, family wealth, and cognitive skill distributions, with both tails under-represented,â they found.
Here's from the army times:
Surveyed troops said these were the top five reasons for staying in the Army. The percentages indicate how many troops felt the factors were âextremely importantâ to them:
- Opportunity to serve my country â 53.5% - How well my retirement pay or benefits will meet my future needs â 45.1% - Opportunities to lead or train soldiers â 43.5% - My sense of purpose â 38.1% -How well my pay or benefits meet my present needs â 37%
Also mentioned in other sources but here from the NY times in 2020 as well, army enlistment is becoming increasingly skewed towards being the children of people who have previously served.
The main predictors are not based on class or race. Army data show service spread mostly evenly through middle-class and âdownscaleâ groups. Youth unemployment turns out not to be the prime factor.
'Joining the army to lift yourself out of poverty' is not the reality for military service, it is the narrative used by the military in it's marketing and recruitment. if you go around repeating it i hope for your sake you're at least on their payroll! if you're going to bootlick don't do it for free!
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A soft life requires HARD WORK!!!!
You should pamper and take care of yourselves. HOWEVER, You need more than a pretty face these days y'all to get ahead in life. You see women who are in business, law, and Healthcare. They had to bust their behinds to get where they are now. Endless nights staying up to studying, not worried about men 24/7, dreaming about what will be on the other side to motivate themselves. Some of y'all want to be babied. Yes, not every woman thinks the same and wants to be a rich housewife. How do you think women become rich housewives? Networking, Education, volunteering, Hobbies, etc.
Some of these girlies on tumblr are selling a fantasy and I'll let them have it but this is not a Wattpad fanfiction. WAKE UP and get up and do something!!!
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a powerful reset for 2025
create a ânoâ list
write down things youâre absolutely saying no to in 2025, like overworking, toxic relationships or procrastinating and respect your boundaries.
unsubscribe from things that donât add value
this goes from e-mails, streamings and services to beliefs, commitments, addictions, habits and everything that drain your energy and no longer makes sense to you.
set small, realistic goals
big and vague goals are harder to achieve. we all did at least once some megalomaniac goals that we didnât achieved because they were too unrealistic to that moment. instead, set goals that you can achieve to fulfill your sense of accomplishment and actually accomplish something.
have a pre-reset day before 2025
disconnect from your phone for a couple hours and journal about what youâre leaving behind and what youâre welcoming in this new year. align with yourself and what you want and deserve. meditate about the vibe you want from now on.
give yourself permission to change
we often stay stuck in old versions of ourselves, so let this new year be the year you let go of outdated expectations you (or society) put into yourself. change your mind! take risks! start over!
redesign you bedroom
if you can, change up your bedroom (or any room you can/want) to create a space that feels fresh and motivating for the new year, like adding fairy lights, plants, move your bed and desk, create a functional corner to study/work. any small changes can make a big difference in how you feel at home.
prioritize! mental! health!
because a strong foundation in health, specially mental health in this era, is essential and boosts every other part of your life. try to live slower, donât overconsume in social medias, donât overshare, do therapy, take your meds/vitamins, journal about your feelings, have a trusting person you can always vent to and get help.
#self care#self love#wonyoungism#self improvement#positivity#that girl#it girl#coquette dolette#becoming that girl#becoming her#glow growth girlboss#positive mental attitude#self growth#self development#self awareness#self reflection#spilled words#glow up#level up
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2025 : #1 be disciplined
[ the 2025 glow up serie ? Click here !]
Motivation feels amazing, doesnât it? Itâs like a sparkâa burst of energy that pushes you forward. But what happens when the spark fades? Thatâs where discipline steps in. Itâs the routine you build, the habits you cultivate, and the consistency you stick to even on days you donât feel like it.
So, instead of waiting to feel ready, discipline says, âLetâs go, regardless.â Itâs the engine that turns dreams into reality.
"Ask urself right now: Whatâs one thing I can commit to daily in 2025? Write it down. Small steps lead to giant leaps."
1.Building Your Disciplined
How do u stay disciplined? Start with these three small steps:
âď¸.Growth is not supposed to feel good. Youâre going to hate it. Youâll feel like quitting more times than you can count. Thatâs normal. Growth is built in the moments where you want to give up but donât.
1. Create Clear Goals: Be specific. Instead of saying, âIâll study more,â say, âIâll study history for 30 minutes every evening.â BUY A SMALL NOTEBOOK AND WRITE ALL UR GOALS WITH SMALLER ONE TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE
2. Track Progress: Whether itâs journaling or using an app, tracking helps you stay accountable.
3.Master Your Mindset: Stop waiting to "feel motivated." Understand that motivation is fleeting, but discipline is reliable. Every time your brain tells you to quit, remind yourself: your emotions donât run the showâyour goals do.
2.Excuses Are Lies
Excuses are lies youâve sold yourself to stay comfortable. 'Iâm too tired.' Lie. 'I donât have time.' Lie. 'Iâm just not motivated.' Biggest lie of all.
Hereâs the truth: Youâre scared. Scared of failure, scared of discomfort, scared of how much effort it takes to change. But let me tell you something: Fear is temporary. Regret is forever. Which one do you want to live with?
No more excuses. You donât need more time. You need more discipline. You donât need motivation. You need action. Stop talking about what you want and start doing the work to get it. Right now.
3.look at yourself in the mirror
Look yourself in the mirror tonight and ask: Am I proud of the choices I made today? If the answer is no, fix it tomorrow. And if the answer is still no, fix it the next day. Donât let yourself off the hook.
2025 isnât your year unless you make it your year. Stop expecting change to happen to you. You are the change. Get out of your head, get off the couch, and get to work. The only thing standing between you and the life you want is your own laziness. Crush it.
4.Action Plan for a Disciplined Life
Stop acting like youâre doing enough when you know youâre not. If you want that dream college, that perfect GPA, or that career you keep fantasizing about, you need to stop wasting time and follow a real plan. Get up the second your alarm goes offâno snooze, no excuses. Tackle the hardest, most uncomfortable task first thing in the morning because procrastination is for quitters. Create a non-negotiable schedule and stick to it like your life depends on it, because it does. Eliminate every distraction: delete the apps, unfollow the nonsense, and stop treating your phone like your best friend. Hold yourself accountableâwrite down your progress every day. If you didnât do anything to move forward, face the fact that youâre the problem. Plan your next day before you sleep, so you wake up ready to win, not wander. And for the love of everything you want in life, stop choosing comfort over progress. Your excuses wonât get you that GPA, that acceptance letter, or that dream jobâbut discipline will.
breaking this into chunks
1. Kill the Snooze Button: Get out of bed the moment your alarm goes off. No "just 5 more minutes." Those 5 minutes are the difference between starting strong and losing the day.
2. Start With the Hard Stuff: Tackle your most challenging task first thing in the day. Procrastination is your enemyâeat the frog and move on.
3. Create a Non-Negotiable Schedule: Block out specific times for studying, working out, or any critical task. Treat these blocks like appointments with your future selfâdonât cancel.
4. Cut Out Time-Wasters: Delete apps you waste time on. Unfollow distractions. If you spend hours scrolling or binge-watching, youâre digging your own grave.
5. Build Accountability: Tell someone your goals and have them call you out when you slack. Better yet, make it publicâyouâll hate embarrassing yourself in front of others.
6. Track Progress Daily: Write down everything youâve done that day to move closer to your goals. If you havenât done anything, face the hard truth: youâre slacking.
7. Plan Tomorrow Tonight: Before you go to bed, write out your next dayâs schedule. If you wake up without a plan, youâve already lost.
8. Say No to Comfort: Skip the cozy excuses. If itâs not pushing you closer to your goals, itâs holding you back.
Discipline is the foundation of every success story. Itâs not about luck, talent, or fleeting motivationâitâs about showing up, doing the hard work, and making the right choices every single day. If you want to achieve your dreams, you need to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start building habits that get you closer to your goals. Cut the excuses, own your failures, and take control of your life. The road to greatness isnât easy, but every sacrifice, every uncomfortable moment, and every disciplined action will take you one step closer to the future you deserve. You either make it happen, or you watch someone else do it. The choice is yours. The clock is not waiting for u !
@bloomzone âď¸
#bloomivation#bloomdiary#becoming that girl#glow up#wonyoungism#wonyoung#it girl#dream life#divine feminine#creator of my reality#it girl affirmations#love affirmations#dear diary#stay focused#project 2025#get motivated#self growth#self love#self confidence#self development#self improvement#self care#happiness#self healing#alone but not lonely#jang wonyoung#boundaries
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40 Tips For Becoming More Disciplined đđĄđđ
Know what you want to achieve soon and in the future. This helps you know where to go and stay motivated.
Do the most important things first to save time and energy.
Have a daily plan that includes work, rest, exercise, and learning.
Make big tasks smaller so they're not scary, and you can see progress.
Use methods like the Pomodoro Technique (working for a while, then resting) or blocking time to get more done.
Notice when you're avoiding work and make yourself start.
Control yourself from getting distracted or doing things just for fun.
Say no politely when you can't do more things without getting stressed.
Stay healthy by eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough.
Keep learning by reading, taking classes, or trying new things.
Check how you're doing with your goals and change plans if needed.
Tell a friend or mentor your goals so they can help you stay on track.
Keep your spaces tidy to help you focus better.
Learning discipline takes time, and it's okay if things don't go perfectly.
Think good thoughts about yourself instead of bad ones.
Imagine doing well to get motivated.
Mistakes are chances to learn, not reasons to give up.
Be happy about even small successes to stay positive.
Listen to advice from others to get better.
Be ready to change your plans but keep your main goals.
Try mindfulness to concentrate, be calm, and know yourself better.
Write about your progress and plans in a journal.
Turn off things like social media when you work or study.
Think about things you're thankful for to stay happy.
Do quick tasks right away instead of waiting.
Spend time with people who help you and make you want to be better.
Let others do tasks that you don't need to do, so you can focus.
Get better at handling problems without giving up.
Picture doing well to stay motivated.
Drink water to think clearly and stay healthy.
Have a special place to work or study to help you focus.
Wait for bigger rewards instead of quick ones.
Keep things simple, both around you and in your mind, so you can concentrate.
Listen to advice without feeling bad about yourself.
Use apps and tools to manage your tasks and time.
Reading helps you learn and think better.
Decide what's good enough for you and stick to it.
Believe you can get smarter and better with practice.
Do creative things to stay imaginative and interested.
Listen carefully to others to be better at talking and understanding.
#discipline#self help#self improvement#self love#self care#personal improvement#personal development#stay focused#goalsetting#level up journey#glow up tips#girlblogging#dream girl journey#dream girl tips#dream girl#study tips
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UNMATCHED
A/N: it's been like 6 months since i last posted something and honestly, i haven't even written anything, things are very shitty these days but i felt the motivation to write this quickly after watching 'tell me lies' and 'rivals' these past weeks so here we go! if student-prof type of fics are not your thing then don't read it
WORD COUNT: 2.6k
WARNING: age gap, student-professor relationship
SUMMARY:Â Harry is very strict about staying away from students as a young and handsome professor, but there is one person he can't get out of his head and a Christmas party brings an unexpected turn.
MASTERLISTÂ |Â SUPPORT ME!
Harry hates these type of parties, mostly because he canât imagine inviting dozens of students into his home, his private space, have the roam around and spend an entire evening with them, talking and pretending like they arenât just trying to get a better grade at the end of the semester with their too friendly behavior. Or, in his case, some girls try to push the boundaries and flirt with him, hoping to hook up with him.Â
He is not stupid. He has heard students whisper about him several times, he notices the heart eyes when he is talking in class and he has gotten several phone numbers on papers since he started his PHD studies and started teaching last year. His friends teased him about being the heartthrob of the faculty, but he didnât think it would actually happen and to this extent. To avoid any possible scandals, not that he planned to make any, he has put on quite a rigid mask towards the students to scare them off from even trying, though that hasnât stopped some of them from wanting to shoot their shot.Â
He wouldnât have come to this party, he would rather be home and continue his research thatâs still not even close to being done, but Professor Bradford, or Stella as she requests Harry to call her, is the only person he gets along with in the faculty. She is 18 years older than Harry, but still younger than the rest of the old men who have been teaching here since probably before the declaration of independence was signed. Those men are the reason younger people donât like classic literature anymore, with their outdated ways of teaching and unwillingness to bring something modern into their lectures they are scaring the new generations away. But not Stella. She is one of the reasons Harry went into his PHD and now he gets to work with her. He couldnât just reject her invitation for her annual Christmas Party she holds for her students and some colleagues.Â
Now he is standing by the wall, drinking mulled wine and just gritting his teeth, trying to calculate how early is too early to leave. A couple of girls have already tried to chat him up, they like to circle him, leave him almost no room to escape and then make him talk about school stuff, but then they slyly bring up personal things, hoping to break his usual character, but he sees through them always.Â
Harryâs best friend, Niall always teases him that he should just give in and have fun with one of them. His morals are a lot looser than Harryâs, thatâs for sure.Â
Just as he is about to look for the bathroom, not to use it but to hide for a bit, another group of girls spots him and he can already feel his skin crawling as they approach him from down the hallway. He is quick to assess the situation, but he realizes he has no chance of fleeing before they reach him.Â
âProfesor! So good to see you here!âÂ
And here we go.Â
It goes the same, they are extremely nice and inquiring about his plans for the next semester and then suddenly they are talking about summer and Harry knows they are moments away from asking what heâll be doing once the school year is over. One of the girls is talking about going to Italy on a yacht and the others chime in with their own ridiculously over the top plans while Harry is avoiding to even look at them, his eyes roam around the other guests.Â
Thatâs when he sees her.Â
Just down the hall he can peek into the kitchen and there she is, with a boy Harry assumes to be her boyfriend. Heâs seen them around campus the past few weeks, he even waited for her after Harryâs class and saw them walk away together as he fought the way his stomach churned every time.Â
Since the moment she walked into his class at the beginning of the semester Harry has been feeling like he is losing his mind. Whether it be the way she laughs with her friends before class or focuses with undivided attention as Harry explains something by the board, or says hello every time she passes him in the cafeteria, Harry canât stop thinking about her for days after even though he knows such feelings should be banned from his mind when it comes to a student. Every time he catches himself thinking about her he wants to throw himself out the window, but he still canât fight it. Thereâs something in her that draws him in and swallows him whole and itâs not just the looks. Unlike a lot of students who take his classes for easy credits or to drool after him, she is there to learn as much as she can and sheâs had the most brilliant thoughts on certain subjects Harry has ever encountered, making him almost jealous he wasnât the one to think about them.Â
She is⌠unmatched. And forbidden, but impossible to ignore. Sheâs been his vice for months.
From where he stands it appears she is having a fight with said boyfriend, her always cheerful expression is now rather upset and confused while the boy seems to be over the conversation, almost irritated by her, dismissed. Harry tries to appear not too obvious about watching them, but he is also way too fixated on her to ignore whatâs happening just down the hallway.Â
He glances away just for a few seconds, but the next time he looks back he sees the boy stomping away, irritated, while she is left there, pulling on her coat before disappearing through the backdoor, swallowed by the darkness of the unlit back terrace.Â
And before Harry could stop himself, he is already moving.
âExcuse me girl,â he mumbles disorientedly as he slips out of the small circle.Â
He places his glass to a nearby table and then grabs his own coat from the wardrobe in the hallway before making his way outside. After her.Â
The moment he steps out into the cold a short sense of realization washes over him that he definitely shouldnât be here, that he is crossing a line, but then another voice in his head tunes it out, convincing him that he is just making sure she is okay and thereâs nothing wrong with that.Â
Stopping by the door his gaze rakes through the terrace, but he doesnât see her, until she spots her slouched form sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading out to the lawn. He hears her sniffling, but she hasnât acknowledged his presence yet, if she noticed it at all. Thereâs a couple of moments of hesitation on his end, he can hear the rational side of him screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him to turn around and just walk back inside, yet he still finds himself moving towards him and then that voice is silenced.Â
âEverything alright?â Harry asks from the top of the stairs, but he startles her so much that she jumps to her feet and backs away a few feet. Thatâs when he sees her tearful eyes and red nose.Â
âS-Sorry, I donâtââ
âHey, itâs all good. You didnât do anything wrong. Just checking in.â
She squints her eyes at him and thatâs when he realizes she must not even see his face since the light is coming right behind him. So he walks down the stairs and then finally his face is lit and realization settles in her eyes.Â
âOh, Professor Styles. Hi.â
âHello Y/N. Are you okay?â he asks again, to which she just chuckles bitterly.Â
He canât miss that even with tears running down her cheeks and her eyelashes stuck together, she looks so fucking beautiful it baffles him. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch her tear-soaked cheeks.Â
âUm, yeah, everything is⌠perfect,â she scoffs, reaching into her pockets, probably looking for tissues, but finding none so Harry grabs one from his inner pocket, handing it over to her, her fingers brushing against his for the shortest second as she takes it and then itâs over, but his skin keeps tingling.Â
âThanks,â she mumbles before drying her face as much as she can. âIâm good. JustâŚâ She looks at him and changes her mind. âAh, wouldnât want to bore you with my nonsense personal drama.â
âDrama is never boring, have you learned nothing in my class?â he jokes and it actually makes her laugh.Â
âThis drama is not worthy of being taught in class though.â
âI bet some of the big names thought the same thing upon writing what we read in class these days.â
âSo youâre saying I should write about how my boyfriend is fed up with me because I told him something he did hurt me?â
âThat sounds like something I bet a lot of people would want to read about,â he smiles and when she mirrors it, he can feel his chest expanding. Somewhere way too deep in his mind an alarm goes off, but it quickly becomes one with the void and all he can think about is her. âActually I can think of a few great pieces that are about similar topics.â
âReally?â
âYeah, believe it or not, youâre not the first one to experience this.â
The way she looks at him is setting him on fire. The mixture of sadness, tiredness and gratitude towards his attempt to cheer her up is still making her glow in a way Harry has never seen before on any woman.Â
âDo you mind analyzing one for me right now?â
âIâd be happy to.â
The party is completely tuned out for the two of them. First they actually talk about a novel, but soon it turns into sharing their favorite books and authors, their guilty pleasure reads, recommendations for each other and even more personal bits Harry would never share with a student, but Y/N is the exception.Â
They have no idea how much time passes as they stand outside and Harry ignores how the cold starts to sting his fingertips even in his pockets, because he knows that if they go inside this bubble will pop and he is too selfish to let that happen just yet.Â
When thereâs a short silence Harry notices that she is probably slipping back into what happened earlier and when she looks at him again he already knows she is about to share.
âI gave him a chance and explicitly told him not to fuck me over, because I canât deal with that again. But all he has been doing is manipulating to believe that Iâm always in the wrong.â
âItâs impossible for you to always be in the wrong.â
âI know. Well, part of me knows, but then I always go back to thinking that he is right, I must have messed up something.â
âThat just proves that you have self-criticism, that you donât just think everything you do is perfect.â
She sighs and looks away, her gaze distant as she battles herself inside her head, a feeling Harry knows very well, unfortunately. It doesnât sit right with him that she is visibly struggling because of an immature guyâs untreated problems. She deserves so much more, but how can he tell that without crossing a line?
âGive it some time and youâll see it clearer. Use your critical thinking on his actions as well, not just yours and donât settle for less than your worth.â
âYou think I did that?â she asks, eyes jumping back to meet his gaze. âYou think I settled for less than my worth?â
Thereâs more behind her eyes than the words she said out loud and he is torn, because he can feel himself being pulled in more than ever, like she just opened the door the slightest and he has the chance to slip in. Itâs the first time he senses something on her part and after all the yearning he is eager to take the chance.Â
âI think you deserve a lot more, Y/N. Youâre brilliant, bright and give so much to others, you should get the same amount if not more back. If someone canât see that, then they donât deserve you.â
For a second he wishes he didnât say a thing, he regrets crossing the line and he fears her reaction, but thenâŚÂ
Then he forgets everything. Because she is kissing him.Â
It happens fast, one moment she is staring up at him with doe eyes, the next her lips are crashing against his, her hands grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. He barely recovers from the shock when she is already pulling away.
âI-Iâm so sorry, I d-didnât mean to, I justâOh my Goââ
Her stammering is quickly cut short when he kisses her, his hands holding her jaw to angle her face perfectly and while her kiss was closed, rushed and panicked, this one is different. He is quick to beg for her to open her lips so he can explore as much of her as humanly possible, he is letting all the passions loose that heâs been locking up these past months and when she returns it just as eagerly it just pushes him even further.Â
They inch back to the wall of the house and when he pins her against it a moan slips past her swollen lips, completely maddening him.Â
âFuck, Y/N,â he breathes against her lips, kissing her jawline, savoring the sweet taste of her skin thatâs supposed to be cold, but itâs actually burning. For him.Â
He keeps one hand on the side of her neck, the other one digs into her hip through her coat and she keeps pushing against him, while her hands wander under his coat, they are on his waist, back and when they move to his lower stomach, brushing against his belt, something snaps inside him.Â
But before he could completely lose his mind the backdoor opens and he quickly sobers up, pulling her farther away from the corner so they canât be seen.Â
â...and that was actually crazy,â a girl speaks up, oblivious to how Harry has Y/N pinned against the wall just a few feet away. They are both breathing heavily, but she has her face buried in his shoulder while he covers his mouth with a hand, adrenaline racing through his veins.Â
âAh shit, Iâm out of cigarettes,â another girl says.
âMm letâs get out of here then. I think Max said they are having a little party as well.â
âOkay.â
Then the door opens again and the voices disappear, but reality hits Harry hard in the head.
He slowly pulls back, enough to look at her face and when he sees her swollen lips and slightly smeared mascara he almost combusts.Â
Because he wants nothing more than to take her, right here and then everywhere else in the world, but he also realizes what he just did and this time his rational side wins.Â
âFuck,â he gasps as he jumps back, cupping a hand over his mouth.
âI wanted itââ
âY/N, stop!â he cuts her off. âFuck, this was a mistake.â
âBut I wanted it! You didnâtââ
âI said stop!â he barks and she shuts her mouth right away. âThis shouldnât have happened.â
And before she could protest again or worse, kiss him again, he is already storming back inside, across the house towards the front door.
âHarry! I havenât seen you all night!â Stella catches him, but he just wants to get as far away from this house and from Y/N as possible.
âIâm sorry, I need to go. Iâll talk to you later,â is all he manages to say before he is already out the door.
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