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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans#And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world#The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao#but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake#warrior cats analysis#child abuse
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man people really hate that orym still gets sad about his husband and father being murdered huh
not only is healing not linear and one’s progress shouldn’t be compared to someone else’s, but orym is actively in a situation that is bringing up that trauma and grief again and again, and you just want him to ignore that? to never talk about it??
like, I’ve been really stressed out lately in a way that’s bringing up a lot of old, tough memories and just a *smell* started to trigger a spiral, but you want orym to be perfectly reasonable when he’s dealing with the organization that killed his family, friends, and coworkers???
I also think that some of you just don’t like that Liam’s narration style utilizes a lot of imagery and parallels, because I’ve seen takes that are like ‘liam narrating orym being reminded of laudna’s past as she plays with her puppets shows that he doesn’t view laudna as a full person’ and ��orym telling laudna that she has more love than delilah and that she deserves to live outside of delilah’s shadow means that he is incapable of viewing her beyond her history with delilah’—and with the latter take specifically: literally no? what? the whole recent arc has been laudna struggling to do that herself? how is orym trying to combat that view reinforcing it?
marisha frequently evokes delilah imagery in her narration of laudna and we all agree that it rules, so why is it suddenly Problematic that orym also thinks about these parallels? hot take I guess but I think it’s cool actually that liam pays attention to how his friend describes her character and has his own character engage with it.
#I think liam’s narration is great for orym bc he’s a quiet character but if that’s not your thing cool!#but like don’t you see what he’s trying to do on a technical level?#he’s not pointing it out bc orym hates it he’s pointing it out bc he’s signaling how orym notices and remembers and cares#the stress may not be helping my impulse control 😬#but also I cannot believe that people are still taking orym in such bad faith 100+ episodes in and I’m tiiirrrred#eve talks#critical role#orym of the air ashari
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For the ghostlights drabbles: “Say my name” with a favor being called in?
Duke had saved Phantom years ago, back when he was just out of high school and working to take down a branch of the government that was kidnapping and experimenting on people, targeting magic users and metas. Phantom had been working on his own to take them down, and they met in the middle, trashing a lab and freeing as many people as they could.
They had managed to shoot his back, knocking him down and making him bleed a glowing green. Phantom couldn’t move, protecting two kids with his body, and Duke couldn’t reach them in time before they were taken away by another swarm of agents.
He was able to go after them in time, free Phantom and the kids, and evacuated the victims before Phantom rained hell down on the facility.
At the end, standing in the background as they watched paramedics treat the victims and take them towards the nearest hospitals, Phantom had turned towards him and thanked him.
Or rather, he thanked the Signal and offered him a bracelet with a rounded orb of ice, glowing faintly in the dark. If you ever need me, he had said, Hold this, and call me name.
Phantom vanished once the last of the victims were transported to a safer location, and Duke hadn’t seen him since.
He’s kept up with news about Phantom as best he can, but from what he could tell, Phantom is based primarily in Amity Park, Illinois, and the town is fiercely protective of their hero. News rarely leaks out of there, and with them running on their own servers and independent internet, it was nearly impossible to get in from the outside.
Phantom remained a curious and distant figure in Duke’s life. He holds onto the bracelet still, guarding it carefully and sometimes running his fingers over the ice that never melts.
But he doesn’t call in that favor. He’s never to.
At least, not until now.
Sucking in a breath, Duke prepares himself and holds the orb of ice in the palm of his hand. He’s in civies, unable to hide his identity for this, and closes his eyes. “Phantom,” he says.
For a moment, nothing happens. Duke blinks his eyes open and frowns, mind already forming new plans to contact Phantom. Then the ice goes bitingly cold, almost painful, and the temperature in the room drops dramatically. The ice lifts up from his hand, floating in the air, then cracks open.
White-blue light spills out of it, growing brighter as it seems to swallow up the room entirely. Duke hurries to back up, an arm thrown up to protect his eyes. His breath mists out before him and he shivers as the sound of ice cracking fills the room.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, the light disappears and the cold fades away like a bad dream.
Slowly, Duke lowers his arm and looks up at Phantom, floating in the middle of his living room with a crown made of ice, engulfed in blue fire, hovers above his head. He looks older, more regal, holding his head high.
He regards Duke carefully for a minute, then tilts his head and says, “Signal?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Man, I’m so glad you came.”
“You… need help with something? You’re calling in your favor now, right?”
Duke nods. He understands Phantom’s confusion; being in the hero business means that favors like these tend to be used only during the most hopeless of times, when the world is close to ending, when the chances of getting out of a situation alive is close to impossible. It’s exactly the kind of thing Duke was expecting to call Phantom in for.
Not the kid sleeping on his couch.
“You’re a ghost, yeah?”
Phantom blinks at him. “Ghost king, now. Why?”
“Well…��� Duke rubs the back of his neck, nervously. “I didn’t really know who else to call, and I can’t do this on my own since I’m not a ghost. But this kid got attached to me and won’t leave, so now I’m taking care of her and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“I don’t know why you think I have any experience with kids but—”
“She’s a ghost.”
Phantom stops short. “Ah. I see.” He floats down until his feet touch the floor, and then he’s standing like any other person. “Where…?”
Duke looks past Phantom’s shoulder, and Phantom turns to follow his gaze. Chelsea, the ghost girl, looks to be around nine years old and is fast asleep on the couch, curled up under Duke’s softest blanket.
“Signal,” Phantom says quietly, “What, exactly, is the favor you need from me?”
“You can say no,” Duke starts. “I get that this is a lot. But I need help raising her. And since you’re a ghost, I figured you could help me learn about the ghostly side of things. You don’t have to raise her with me or anything! Just… I would appreciate any help you’re willing to give me.”
Phantom doesn’t say no. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares down at Chelsea, an unreadable expression on his face.
On the couch. Chelsea shifts in her sleep, brows furrowing as she makes a choked noise in the back of her throat.
Moving on autopilot after so many nights of this routine, Duke kneels next to the couch, fishing one of her hands from beneath the blanket. He gives it a few reassuring squeezes, keeping it a slow rhythm to pull her gently from her nightmare. She settles down in just a minute, brow smoothing out as she continues to sleep.
The silence grows and Duke is all too aware that his heart is the only one beating.
He doesn’t hear Phantom move. Doesn’t realize he’s right next to him until he sees Phantom’s hand reach out towards Chelsea. When Duke looks, Phantom is sitting on the floor next to Duke, looking at Chelsea with something soft and devastated in his eyes. His hand hovers about her head for a long moment, then slowly lowers to rest on her head.
The touch looks gently, barely putting any pressure on her head, but it’s enough to make Chelsea’s eyes snap open, suddenly wide awake. She stares at Phantom with wide eyes, then sits up and looks between him and Duke.
“Who are you?” she asks in a small voice that makes Duke want to stand against the world to keep her safe.
Phantom smiles. It’s casual and charming and makes him look like anyone else, as if he’s not a powerful king from a realm unreachable to humans. “Hi there,” he says, “I’m Danny. I’m a ghost like you. Signal called me and asked me to meet you.”
The Ghost King is good with kids. Who would have thought?
Chelsea looks at him for confirmation and only relaxes when he nods. “I’m Chelsea. What do you mean ghost? I’m not dead.”
Both he and Phantom tense, carefully keeping their expressions neutral. She hasn’t told him much at all, just that her parents were gone and forgot her and she got hurt, so she wanted to stay with ‘Mr. Signal’ because he’s a hero and heroes keep people safe and he was the only one who was Black like her. Duke hadn’t had the heart to say no, and began searching for her family, only to find that her parents had fled the state, and likely the country, after killing their only child through neglect and a dangerous environment.
It was then that he realized that her powers were not because she was a meta, but because she was ghost.
It still hurts to realize how young she is, how much of her life had been stolen from her in an instant. Duke hadn’t been brave enough to broach the topic with her, instead choosing to let her grow comfortable in his presence, get them both settled into a routine now that he was her primary guardian.
“I know it sounds scary,” Phantom says, “And you may not want to believe me, but it’s true. I’m sorry that you died so young, but that just means you get to hang out with me and other ghosts from now on!”
Chelsea crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. “I am not dead,” she says.
“Cici, I’m sorry to say this, but you are,” Duke cuts in. “That’s why I called… Danny. You have new powers as a ghost, and he can help you get used to them.”
“I’m not dead!” she says again.
“Kid,” Phantom begins, but Chelsea shakes her head hard and hops off the couch.
“I’m not lying! Watch, I’ll prove it to you!” She closes her eyes and scrunches up her nose, concentrating. Her hands curl into tight fists by her sides, and the glow around her grows dim. Two faint, stuttering rings of light appear around her waist. They flicker and wobble in the air, as if weak and uncertain of their own existence, then split apart, one moving up towards her head while the other falls to her feet.
Beside him, Phantom sucks in a sharp breath, but Duke can’t turn to see what’s wrong when he’s trying to take in the sight of Chelsea suddenly full of vibrant color, looking more solid that he’s ever seen her, very much alive.
“See?” she says proudly, lifting her arms and doing a spin to show off her right she was. “I told you I’m not dead!”
“No, you’re not,” Phantom agrees, sounding shell-shocked. When Duke is finally able to look away from Chelsea to check on him, he looks awed. There’s the smallest smile on his face, just the slightest upturn of his lips, but it makes him look softer.
Duke turns his attention back to Chelsea before he can be caught staring. “Cici, can you come here for a second?”
She goes before he’s finished speaking, crossing the space between them in a single jump, then grins up at him. Her hair is a bit of a mess, the two buns he managed to get her hair into falling askew. He makes a note to visit the old aunties in the Narrows later to ask them to teach him how to do hair. For now, he holds out a hand and Chelsea drops an arm into it.
It seems to good to be true, having her be alive, but her pulse is steady and strong when he presses his thumb against the inside of her wrist.
“Well,” he says, leaning back and letting go of her arm. “You certainly proved us wrong.”
Chelsea doesn’t have much time to look smug before PHantom quietly says, “You’re like me.”
“What?”
“You’re like me,” he tells Chelsea. “A halfa.”
She tilts her head to one side. “What’s that?”
“Someone who is half human and half ghost. Both dead and alive.”
Duke blinks, taking in the words, then turns to face Phantom so quickly he’s worried he might give himself whiplash. Halfa, he said. Like me, he said.
And sure enough, two rings of light, bright and strong, appear around Phantom’s waist before splitting in half, moving over his entire body.
Gone is the Ghost King, all powerful and adorned in dark clothing with a crown of ice above his head. In his place is a guy who looks to be Duke’s age, eyes a deep blue and his black hair messy, feet set solidly on the floor. He looks completely normal, completely human, and no longer an impossibility.
“You still up for learning how to use all your new powers?” Phantom asks.
Chelsea grins. “Yeah!” And then, with a quick flick of her eyes going from Phantom to Duke that he almost misses, very innocently asks, “Are you going to stay with us then?”
“I… don’t know?” Phantom looks to Duke for an answer.
Already, Duke can see this going two ways. The correct way forward, the normal one, has Phantom popping in every so often, taking Chelsea out for a few hours to work on training her and her powers. It’s easy and routine and they can keep their boundaries uncrossed and be professional.
The other path is what Duke wants most that he shouldn’t impose onto the literal Ghost King. He could have Phantom living with them while he’s on Earth and out of Amity Park, having a place at the table, a section in the closet for his own clothes, a quietly domestic night together while Chelsea sleeps where they can get to know each other more, get to know each other outside of news reports and texts on a screen.
“You can stay with us if you want,” Duke offers, casually, “It might keep my apartment safe from her powers acting up on their own again.”
“Are you sure? I could always just fly in on the weekends or something.”
“I’d appreciate having you around. So you can help Cici.”
“If you don’t mind,” Phantom says, looking away. Like this, fully alive with a beating heart, it’s easy to see the blush steal away across his cheeks.
“I don’t.”
“I don’t either!” Chelsea pops in, looking far too gleeful by their awkward conversation.
Duke can’t help but laugh, feeling lighter than he had in ages. The relief of knowing that Chelsea is alive, for the most part at least, eases the guilt of thinking he had been too late to save her, that there was no chance she could have made it out and had a future, makes him feel weak. All the exhaustion of the past few weeks hits him all at once and he wants nothing more than to collapse in bed and sleep for twelve hours.
“Alright, squirt,” he says, reaching out to pat her head. “It’s late. We can talk more in the morning, so go to bed. In your actual bed this time, not on the couch.”
Chelsea stands up taller, ready to argue, but Duke gives her a Look™ and she quickly shuts her mouth, nods, and drags her feet back to her room (the former guestroom he can never give any of the other Waynes ever again, once they find out about her).
Sighing, Duke collapses onto the couch once he hears the door shut behind her. Phantom joins him after a few seconds, sitting tentatively on the edge of the couch. The cushion moves beneath his weight, another reminder of how solid and alive he is right not.
Duke wants to touch him, to reach out and feel for himself his pulse, the warmth of his body, his chest lifting with each breath.
He doesn’t move. He stays where he is, hands carefully still, and tries to think past the dizzying thoughts of she’s still alive, I’m not too late, he’s still here, he’s alive.
“Rough week?” Phantom asks, voice purposefully light.
“Something like that.”
“You should get some sleep too.”
“I don’t think I can. Not after everything. My mind’s too loud right now.”
Phantom shifts closer to him, hesitant in a way that Duke has never seen before in him, and asks, “Want me to stay with you until you mind quiets down some?”
“Yeah. I’d like that. Thanks, Phantom.”
“You know, if I’m going to be around so often as Chelsea’s halfa mentor, then you might as well call me Danny.”
Truth be told, Duke didn’t think that was his real name. He’s glad to know it’s not.
“Then call me Duke.”
“...Are you sure? You could still hide your identity from me.”
“Nah, I trust you. A name for a name, yeah?”
Danny smiles. “Duke,” he says, testing out the name, and it’s never sounded better than when it falls from Danny’s mouth.
“Danny,” Duke returns. He belatedly realizes that they’ve leaned towards each other, drawn together like gravity, stuck in each other’s orbit. It feels natural. It feels like this is where they’re meant to be.
Maybe he should be more cautious. They’ve only meant once before, after all. But he’s read all he could on Phantom and has seen how Amity Park loves him. He’s stressed and exhausted and trying to figure out how to look after a half-ghost child that’s already been dealt a bad hand in life. He should be keeping Phantom at a distance, watching over him carefully to ensure he isn’t a threat to Chelsea.
But Duke saw how he acted with Chelsea, so gentle and understanding and kind. That’s all he needed to see.
He may not know much about Danny, but he knows this: he is trustworthy.
Enough to entrust his identity to him.
Enough to entrust Chelsea to him.
It’s more than a favor; it’s a promise to walk this road together.
There’s no one he’d rather do this with.
“Thanks,” he says again, “For all of this. I know it’s a lot.”
Danny shrugs. “I don’t mind. Really. It’s nice to know there’s another halfa out there, no matter how she came to be one. Makes things feel less lonely.”
“Will you tell me more about halfas?”
“Later. Once you get some proper rest. We’ve got time, haven’t we?”
“We do,” Duke agrees, affection settling warm in his chest. “We’ve got plenty of time.”
Learning how to control her new powers won’t be easy for Chelsea. Learning how to take care of her won’t be easy. Learning how to do things together, as Duke and Danny rather than the Signal and Phantom, won’t be easy. But Duke knows with a certainty he feels in his bones that they’re going to be fine.
So long as they’ve got each other, they’ll be fine.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#prompt fill#my writing#thought a lot abt what the favor could be but i could not resist the idea of surprise co-parents once i thought of it#here's a kid who clings to someone she knows is safe bc she is scared and alone!!#heres a stressed out hero trying to take care of a kid with no knowledge of how to do that!! and the kid is a ghost!!#heres a ghost king expecting to be used as a weapon and called in for a big battle suddenly finding another halfa!!!#so much going on here. so much to think abt with this!!!!!#i do love found family like this where they all kinda stumble into it and do their best to make it good#also could not resist making yet another oc. chelsea has my whole heart i love her <3 shes my daughter first#the bats dont know abt chelsea yet!! bc she can go invisble. its all been instinct every time they pop over to visit duke#soon she'll be able to control it and meet them properly#by properly i mean dukes gonna go over for sunday brunch and a little girl is gonna pop out from behind him like 'hi! im new!'#they will all love her of course. they will be shocked but happy!!#and a little less happy abt the GHOST KING duke has been hiding in his apartment that hes co-parenting with#sorry for the long tags im obsessed w this idea i want to Expand on it#maybe one day... with my other wips out of the way...
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Pond Naravit didn’t spend the better part of four years collecting his dance line friends like Thanos going after Infinity Stones to form Project JASP.ER for people on the internet to pretend like none of the artists at GMMTV have any control over their lives and careers.
#pond naravit#project jasp.er#joong archen aydin#joong archen#aou thanaboon#santa pongsapak#jasp.er#gmmtv#riser music#look any company has its pitfalls and poor choices#but enough members of that company have managed to make things happen and determine their next move#rather than be controlled#unlike some companies#Aou’s face when joong explained what he went through in China#and how many Chinese artists and actors suffer#people also bitch about EMFK not being out at jobs enough when they’re the most well known introverts in the company#things i think about#also the level of creative control the boys of JASP.er were allowed to have creatively#or how much krist ends up in the hospital every time they give him a concert because he’s stressing making his vision#like there are boundaries and things they can’t do sure#but that’s work
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i need to talk about this line here for a second, because it's an attack on me personally. but not the english translation of it, no, it's the og thai line that really gets to me. because he says:
มันโอเคนะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]
he specifically uses the term มีความรัก which is more like "to be in love". which means rather than "it's okay to love", this line is more accurately translated as:
It's okay to be in love.
and as someone who really really really struggles with self-acceptance for my own romantic feelings for others, this distinction is really important to me. i can deal with loving others. i love my family. i love my best friend (you really don't go here but hiiii @magsimags i love youuuu 😘 (i know you're rolling your eyes reading this as usual)(i don't care)(i love you)). i love my other close friend. i love my summer camp gang. i love my friend that style reminds me of. i love each and every single one of the friends i've made in this fandom over the past few years (you know who you are 💖). i KNOW it's okay to love. i do it all the time. loudly. as evidenced by the fact that i just HAD to tag my best friend in this post to publically tell her i love her even though she really doesn't care about my thai blorbos, just because i really couldn't NOT tag her to tell her i love her. anyway. i can love. loving is fine.
but to be in love??? that's a whole different story. having (in my case romantic) feelings for someone feels like a heavy burden. it feels humiliating. i hate it. i don't want it. it stresses me out. and the person i have feelings for especially can't ever know about it. see, i will talk about my crushes/romantic feelings, but mostly to family and friends (the better they know the person i have feelings for, the harder it gets for me to admit to it), and even then the word "be in love" won't ever come out of my mouth in my native language. in english it's easier, but in my native language i just can't say it. it feels heavy. it makes me cringe. being in love is horrible.
so when style said "it's okay to be in love" specifically? that was a punch to my gut. because this is a truth i have not yet managed to accept for myself. and if the person i had feelings for specifically told me "it's okay to be in love" so firmly and so earnestly? yeah, i would crumble too
#some lore about me i guess#the heart killers#stylefadel#fadelstyle#thk ep4#thk#airenyah explains thai#adrm#holy fuck writing this post i just realized something:#loving someone (lieben) is something i ACTIVELY do#but being in love (verliebt sein) is something that just HAPPENS to me. i have less control over it#maybe THAT'S what's stressing me out about it#ooooof i need to sit on this. maybe have a Serious Conversation™ about it with my mom or a friend#anyway coming back to thk:#i think style phrasing it specifically as ''to be in love'' rather than ''to love'' is a distinction that is important for fadel too#esp when looking at it from a ''loving is sth you actively do while being in love just happens to you''#we know that fadel's life is planned out to the tiniest detail and we know he likes to have control over things#but his developing feelings for style is something he CAN'T control no matter how hard he's tried and it freaks him out. it scares him#style is telling him that it's ok to let go. it's ok NOT to be in control for once. it's ok to allow things to take their course naturally#it doesn't have to be a bad thing#i'm about to cry bc i'm saying words that i desperately need to internalize myself
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Back in the day, I went to girl scout camp and one of the older girls---and by that I mean she was in 9th grade---lent me her Mercedes Lackey books whenever I mentioned being bored. (Everybody lent me books when I was bored. This was partly because I was annoying unless you gave me a reason to go away and do something else, and partly because I was at girl scout camp, and we were all annoying in our own ways.) Anyway, Lackey's books and specifically the "Five Hundred Kingdoms" series were perfect for a tween obsessed with fairytale reinterpretations---and they were, technically, adult fiction, which gave the whole thing a vaguely illicit, thrilling cast
It's now been 18 years and while they are not quite as romantic as I remember---lots of adults admitting they like each other and proceeding from there, which is very sensible if a little dull---they do have some good plotting, which my adult self appreciates in ways my tween self couldn't.
#I can't stress enough how annoying I was for the vast majority of my childhood adolescence and even young adulthood.#it's not that I'm...less annoying now#I just have it more under control.#from the bookshelf
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Kind of dumb comic based on a text interaction that i thought was very og gb and and wembley gb core and also uuhhhhh here (throws some doodles at you) (It's mainly just the Cheater Trio being mean to each other LMAOOO)
#please kindly ignore how fucked up everybody looks in some of these doodles I was trying not to stress tm#especially in that pic where gb's carrying electra and R.C...cabooses anatomy is particularly fucked up in that one lmaoooooo#ALSO PLEASE KINDLY IGNORE THE FACT THAT I FORGOT ELECTRAS MAKEUP IN ONE FO THESE. THANKS LMAO#mudsydrawz#stex#starlight express#greaseball the diesel#stex control#electra the electric engine#cb the red caboose#stex caboose#stex fanart#tassita gets mentioned in this but I ain't tagging him lmaooooo#this post has been up two whole days and i just noticed that grammar was incorrect. god why do you send me these battles
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i'm going to be honest what you all have been doing is harmful to her wellbeing and will have considerable impacts going forward and yes i am saying this right as it's too late to change it , you're welcome everybody
#[ ooc ]#i've actually written down stuff on what Does help ragdolly and this ain't it chief LMAO#as much as i like watching things crash and burn i know some of you want her to open up more so .#the biggest hint i can give you is that she's literally under considerable amount of stress right now#and is grasping for any tiny bits of control and safety even if it means Denial and Avoiding Stuff Again#to put it simply - she feels unsafe right now !! make her feel safer ! how ? well taking away her autonomy and forcing her to#face her trauma even when she's Really not in the correct mental state for it is Not Those -
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the thing i'm learning about being a sports fan is just.... you really have no control over this thing that you love so much and you've invested so much time/energy/emotion in! and that is so hard to accept! you can do all your little good luck rituals, you can critique the players and the coaching and the scheme to hell and back, you can learn as much as you can about how the game works....but it doesn't change a thing. all you can do is sit there and watch the players do the best they can! (and even then there's only so much each individual player can control!)
you just have to practice radical acceptance i guess! what's gonna happen will happen and you just have to sit back and enjoy as much of it as you can 🫠🫠
#or radical optimism lmao#can't believe we're gonna be the first 0-3 team ever to win a super bowl! how exciting for us :) :)#anyway people have definitely articulated this much better before and several times over#but just something i've been thinking about and working on this week#because it's been a hard season and it's only going to get harder#and if i stress myself out too much about it then that's not good!#control what you can control and accept the rest and all that#just a quick little ramble before bed here!
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shitty and dangerous friend vs literal eldritch god physically and psychologically abusing his ex-worshipper to the brink of complete insanity
#it’s honestly stupid but it just pisses me off that ppl think this is the same dynamic#yes ford brought fiddleford into very dangerous and traumatic situations and dismissed his concerns#but fiddleford had complete autonomy the entire time. he could back out if he wanted#i think when ppl compare these dynamics they’re thinking of billford through a watered down lens#when bill literally took advantage of a praise-hungry man who was ridiculed his whole life and used him until he was no longer useful#ford’s assholishness was due to neglect#not maliciousness#ford pines#gravity falls#stanford pines#also bill was planting seeds of doubt into his mind and actively encouraging him to distrust fiddleford#i cannot stress how much these are Not The Same#bill wanted to completely control ford’s life#ford simply wanted a lab partner#and i also cannot stress enough that i am Not excusing ford’s behavior i just don’t think it’s on the same level as bill’s treatment of ford#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#cw abuse mention#fictional abuse#book of bill
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Congrats on your promotion (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Fionna Campbell#Cake#Not only the adult in the situation but also her dad! Wow! Lol#When is this set? Don't worry about it lol#I mean when wouldn't it apply honestly haha#Constantly out of his/their depth: The Series#Meanwhile Fionna is just having a fun time :) I just want her and Cake to be happy <3#Drawing Fionna smiling is so nice she's so cute ♪#And admittedly drawing Simon stressed is also very fun lol poor thing#He just has so much fluff to pull on! Stress-scrunches his hands into his hair hehe#To be fair he's doing his best - he's rather competent for being a mild-mannered human!#He does about as well as could be expected and even above and beyond in places#Him calling out the Vampire King out of sheer dadly indignation? Beautiful#And he's still growing and learning :D Good for him#For now tho he gets to come to terms with that fact haha >:3c#How fun it is to be the one in control of your own destiny! How empowering and not at all stressful to be at the whims of the universe!#Ehh he's got a cosmic entity looking out for him he'll be fine#As long as he plays to her tune ♪
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OH THAT HURT ME PHYTSICALLY
#professor layton spoilers#the last specter spoilers#THE GLARE!!!#HE REALLY DID THINK IT WAS HIS OWN DAD#MY POOR BOY THIS POOR FAMILY NONE OF THEM DESERVE ANY OF THIS#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#luke put more faith into their butler than his father... obv cause dad was unavailable and under stress#while not-doland had everything under control and thus could .... be the 'fun' parent so to say...#i love how layton games pull the craziest shit but then actually present everything in a very elegant way#like I expected Luke to straight up accuse Clark of everything#or maybe for the town to accuse the whole family of faking that one dude's death full on instead of just disliking them#or bsically drama of any kind is what i expected but all you get is that one glare from Luke right before Layton clears his father's name#and it's so much more impactful
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#superman#dc#fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck#i'm not sure if this annual inspired the TAS 'Unity' episode but if it did fuuuuuuuuuuuuck#context: those brains were originally being used as telekinetic batteries by the villain of the week#while the organic material of their bodies basically got blobbed together into a shoggoth#and after Superman beat the villain of the week the brains are like 'hey we can't go back to our bodies you gotta kill us'#and Superman is like 'I cannot stress enough how much I cannot do that'#and they're like 'yeah we figured--sorry about this'#and they telepathically controlled him to pull their oxygen switch#suicide cw
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Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive#at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just#makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection.#he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up#hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess.#and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the#parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the#time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this#part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is.#he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this.#Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who#can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him#being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and#then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation.#it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody.#maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now.#spn#dean winchester#tw abuse
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once again back on my 24/7 tpe siffedloop bs. you see i have Visions. specifically with the sense-sharing (though works without it too) & somno. listen. im sitting across the desk from you (we are in my office). this got so fucking long so im putting it under a readmore
you know good and damn well sif will have trouble sleeping postcanon. so sif AND loopie can has a little treat in the form of loop having sif take sleep aids to knock him the fuck out so loop can fuck them in their sleep to masturb8. that way sif gets to have a good sleep with little to no anxiety and wake up feeling relaxed + the satisfaction of Being Useful to loop + getting a good grade in being a sex toy (something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve). meanwhile loop gets to feel good abt themselves for helping sif relax + get off / have sex without the Embarrassment and self-consciousness that comes from Performing for a partner + the high of being in 100% complete control of sif and having literally all the power in the situation AND knowing sif trusts them enough to give them that power in the first place.
like i knowww when loop gets started theyd be anxious and feel awkward and overthink every move due to how they are as a person. and i KNOW in my heart of hearts once they properly Get Going king arthur herself could not pull them out of sif. respectfully. like i think theyd genuinely go into a Lustful Frenzy the likes of which has not been seen before. i think they fuck that gay little traveler selfcest style so hard they both get craft exhaustion symptoms after. respectfully.
#i cannot stress enough that i genuinely think the Absolute Hottest part of this whole thing#that turns loopie into a Hole&Pole Starved Beast#is the amount of trust they are given. ESPECIALLY bc its sif bc they know personally how insanely difficult it is for them#to give up control / trust someone to not hurt them in any way#like thats insane to loop i think. hence why they get a little silly. maybe tell sif they love him in the throes of passion#while sifs passed out. yes they probably still get embarrassed enough to want to jump off the favor tree afterwards. kyaaaa#247 hats#somno mention cw#intox mention cw#kinda#another hot post from me!#siffedloop
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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