#how long has it been? two months?
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"The strong devour the weak..."
Posting art again! Woohoo. Anyway, since I didn't end up writing that fic based on my little Dead Plate AU, I finished this up instead. I'll finish that fic one day. Probably.
#yttd#your turn to die#dead plate soushin au#sou hiyori#shin tsukimi#midori yttd#soushin#i've never drawn from this pov before so it's a bit clumsy but i like it#toxic yaoi toxic yaoi toxic yaoi#i need to draw them more often#need to draw more often in general tbh#how long has it been? two months?#momento doodles 'n sketches#sorry shin i'll be nice(r) to you next time i prommy
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king magnus skin real cute and lovely but it loses points on the account that i cant see his ass anymore
#marvel rivals#snap chats#PRIORITIES i know QVJELRKJAKLJLJ#NOW what am i supposed to do while waiting for the match to start i cant see it while melee spamming now#LIKE NOOO LET ME SEE HIS TIGHT ASS MAN whatever .. this is why ima still flip flop between using the two ..#he's still big sexy so Fine Ill Live but still ... let me look at his chiseled cheeks idgaf#i aint even an ass man tbh ........ i can just appreciate a nice sculpt/shape... been goin on bout this too long anyways#for now ima use the king skin for a while ..... shiny and new...#this lil over-the-shoulder look is always so cutesy to me ..... like hi princess ...#love how his hair clips through his lil collar like oh girlfriend...#cant wait like idk a year down the line when mags has accumulated a good amount of skins and i can make a tierlist#anyway shoutout to my friend who birthday bargained me for a comm so i could upgrade my bp and get this sooner aeLKJGLAEKJG#cant wait to be able to unlock wanda's stuff like a month from now !!!!!!!! i MUST dance every second once i unlock the flamenco emote...#rivals ima need you to lock in and give everyone a dance emote and/or a sit emote. i loved doin that shit in ow2 ....#ok bye im playin vidja game
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lukewarm take of the evening: y'all care too much about being ""outdated"". fellas this smp moves inhumanly fast. it is ok to CHILL holy shit CHILL. y'all are like "(posts BANGER ART) super late guys sorry" friend i am hitting you with a blanket i am snapping you with my metaphorical towel WHAT DO YOU MEAN SORRY. "(posts BANGER FIC) rip this is outdated now" WHO CARES???? I LOVE YOU, OK. ohhhh woe is us as the fandom at large for having MORE HAPPY PILLS ARC CONTENT oh no how outdated!! how could you be writing speculative fiction about how forever felt during happy pills :( slash SARCASM!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!! THERE ARE SO MANY BANGER ARCS, WHAT, YOU THINK WE'RE COMPLAINING????? FOR GETTING MORE OF THE CONTENT WE LOVED????? oh no we're past the period where everyone thought green gay ninjas were like Dead Dead, my work is now outdated and noncanon :( WDYM. GIMME. A BANGER IS A BANGER IDC IF IT TAKES THREE MONTHS. you think rome was built in a day?? fuck you, baltimore, GIMME. my ass has been cooking a goddamn backflipo family fic since july when it was ALREADY outdated do you think i fear god??? "oh no, you're making an edit of slime's (attempted) egg murdering spree?? how could you, that was months ago it's irrelevant" SAID NO ONE EVER.
save your wrists kidlings ok carpal tunnel is no joke. CHILL!!!!! CHILL!!!!!!!! TAKE YOUR TIME SHEEEEEESH OK LOVE YOU <3
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#IT IS OK TO NOT ALWAYS POST SHIT THIRTY SECONDS AFTER IT HAPPENS!!!!!!!#for god's sake we have MONTHS of lore and bangers ok???#i still have a mental image of an art i wish i could make from BOBBY'S NIGHTMARE#HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR M O N T H S and you bet your ass if i can make it I WILL BE POSTING IT#SO. MUCH. SHIT. HAS. HAPPENED. who cares if it was months ago!!!!!!#it's ok to be a few days late!!! it's ok to be a few months late!!!!! don't tell me sorry for feeding me!!!!!!#part of me still lives in I'M NOT HOLDING A FUCKING FUNERAL CHAT#part of me still lives in maxo's final song for his son!!!!#part of me still lives in the day we thought ramón was gone for good#part of me still lives in cellbit sprinting to his son only to be ripped away back to the feds just as richas turns to write a sign#part of me still lives in the flooding of the copacabana ocean#THESE ARE BANGERS. REMEMBER WHEN FIT FOUND PAC E MIKE IN PRISON. BANGER.#oh dear new work expanding on a canon moment i super liked that happened months ago how late smh SAID NO ONE EVER#TWO CAKES!!!!! TWO CAKES MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! WE LOVE PASTRIES DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT#COME ON Y'ALL. METAPHORICAL KISSES. LOVE YOU. HAVE A GOOD WEEK.#long tags
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#obviously i am Thrilled with all the buddie goodness we got this ep#but one thing about this whole eddie/chris storyline that is driving me absolutely UP THE WALLS#is that there has just been absolutely Zero realistic communication about any of it from the audience's perspective#we don't hear anything about logistics in the moments where chris is actually leaving#(about how long he'll be gone for/if it's just for the summer/etc etc)#which whatever fine tim wanted it to be dramatic#but still in season 8 we don't know if there's been any discussion with chris OR helena and ramon about when/if he should be coming home#like you can infer if you want that the diaz parents have no intention of giving up chris and this was the plan all along#but tbh even that is largely extrapolation on the fandom's part bc they haven't told us anything!!!!!!#two facetimes and three conversations eddie's had with people that Aren't his parents is not enough!!!!#and i know it's the Eddie Diaz Routine(tm) to jump to the most extreme possible conclusion re him moving back to el paso#but WHY have we gotten no indication at all that he's attempted to talk this out with chris at some point in the last 5 months???????????#the dust settled a long time ago and eddie has Always been so good at talking to chris even when it's a difficult subject#i refuse to believe we're in last resort territory i'm sorry askdfjhsa#i want to write something about it but there's so much to tackle i don't even know where to start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway yes i know i was the one pointing out last week that storylines 8 seasons in are not going to be top notch but that doesn't negate#my frustration aksdjfhsih#tbd
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hello!! hope you're having a good day :D
since you're doing the pride flag challenge, I hope you don't mind me requesting the lithromantic/sexual flag!
left is lithsexual and the right is lithromantic, idm which one you pick :]
(it means to feel romantic and/or sexual attraction to someone but doesn't want the feeling reciprocated or stops once it is :>)
Day 297 of posting Jevil every day
#pride palettes#lithromantic#I wanted to go with the Lithromantic palette because I thought the green and red was interesting and also because it feels familiar#five colors.. mostly black? this is the closest I’ve gotten to drawing Jevil in his actual color palette since we’ve started this!#this whole June Pride event has been so exciting and it makes me really happy to see you all getting happy when you see yourself reflected#in a palette. But I do miss drawing regular Jevils!!!#I may get my chance though. Day 300 is coming up fast and it’s gonna be during June. do I do a regular Pride jevil or a special normal#palette Jev? I guess we’ll see how I’m feeling day of.#hmmm. hey if you’ve read this far- want some Dailyjevil lore?#when I started dailyjevil.. Jevil wasn’t even my favorite Deltarune character#It was Rouxls Kaard actually. Actually had a big crush on him- crazy right?? I don’t get those often.#Anyways I started Dailyjevil on a whim in the middle of my 5th period English class. I noticed there wasn’t a daily jevil art blog and#thought I could try it for a month or two. By the way- I had drawn Jevil like twice before this. Never could’ve seen it lasting this long!#Now I have around 300 Jevils in my camera roll. I didn’t think it would last once my Deltarune fixation wore off.#I’m probably gonna go in detail of it all later once this is all over in a big thank you post#I’m starting to plan what I’m gonna do for the final day#gah!!!!! I can’t believe I’ve almost made it!!!!!#dailyjevil#deltarune#deltarune jevil#jevil#jevil deltarune
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no one has explored the idea of darius and camila co-parenting hunter enough. like where the hell are the fics about darius calling camila asking if hunter left his derby uniform at her house or camila personally going to drop off hunter at his dad's house and sharing a cup of tea with him while she asks about hunter's grades at hexside and darius asks about hunter's sleeping habits and if she had any human alternatives to sleeping nettles that might help him sleep without the dream-enhancing side effect.
what about camila inviting darius to stay for dinner when he comes to drop off hunter at his mom's house and darius asking for the recipe and then asking the kids what ingredients he could substitute and which ones have to stay the same. or camila specifically adding three more lines to her phone plan-- one for vee, one for hunter, and one for darius so that they can keep in contact more easily. or hunter getting in trouble at school for picking a fight with boscha but when principal bump calls, darius is extremely busy with work so he calls camila and asks her to handle it.
maybe darius gets in an argument with hunter and he cant tell where he went wrong and calls camila and she listens and gives him her advice as someone whose been a parent for fourteen years vs. his own eight months. or camila opens up to darius about her own struggles with losing her husband and he opens up with his own grief over losing his mentor. or they talk on the phone for hours and gossip with each other. maybe darius comes over to hang out with camila and binge watch a new show with her while the kids are at school
#krav talks#toh#darius deamonne#camila noceda#average camila and darius phone conversation:#“dont take this the wrong way.” “naturally.” “i think eda and raine are moving too fast.”#“absolutely. its only been what. two months?”#“two months! and theyre already moving in together!”#“this is not going to go well. ive known raine for years and they havent had a long term relationship since they first broke up with eda.”#“oh noooo... thats even worse than i thought...”#“it gets even worse! raine just spoke to me the other day and complained about eda not letting them help her with the curse again!"#“ah... saw that coming. not that i think eda is bad--”#“no of course not! we love eda.”#“we love eda! but that witch has a serious amount of baggage she needs to sort through before rushing into a relationship.”#“oh you have no idea how right you are. have i told you about what she'd tried to do when i was still pretending to be loyal to belos?”#“oh? im listening...”
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Taking a short hiatus
Hey y'all!!
For a while now I've been considering stepping back from posting/drawing to take some time for myself. For a while now I've been feeling drained and kinda unmotivated. I'm stuck in a rut and have been for the majority of 2024. I've been on and off with my motivation but found that I've been overall unhappy with my art.
I feel like my passion has been dwindling, and I know forcing myself to draw and post won't motivate me to continue doing what I love. Though I've had trouble stepping back due to the fact I've basically conditioned myself to draw and post as often as possible, which has done nothing but stress me out and make me feel like I'm failing when I can't muster the motivation to draw for even a single day.
So, after a lot of thinking, I've decided that I'm going to step back and take a (hopefully short) hiatus so that I can get myself out of this rut and rediscover my passion for art. I don't know how long this hiatus will last but I can guarantee it won't be super long.
This break is meant to be a time where I can stop worrying about posting often and/or consistently to instead focus on myself and what I want to do. Constantly stressing about posting has severely stunted my ability to grow and learn as an artist. While I have been improving, I've also been stuck in my 'comfort zone' which stresses me out severely. I feel like if I stay here any longer I'll only have more trouble in the long run. I feel like my rut will only worsen and I'll lose my passion for art completely. I need to step back and start drawing for myself again instead of worrying about what I think people will want to see from me.
Nowadays I feel like I'm too focused on pleasing others, hence why I'm hesitant to change in a way that might turn people away from what I do/draw and have been sticking to what got people interested in my art. I'm only human, so my tastes and interests are bound to change over time, and not everyone will like that. I feel like I'm too busy playing it safe instead of pushing myself to explore ideas that I've been wanting to try for years. I want to do my own thing again.
Tl;dr I will be taking a short hiatus to focus on myself and my art. So goodbye for now ✌️ I'll be back when I feel like I'm ready to return.
#Grim rambles#I will still be checking in but yeah#Idk how long this hiatus will last but it will definitely be well over a month or two#I really gotta step back and take some time for myself#I've been posting my art online longer than a lot of y'all know. Since 2017 if I remember correctly?#I feel like this has been a long time coming but ye#hopefully during this hiatus I'll rediscover my love for art and be in a place where I'm happy with it again#EDIT: Imma try and like.. be completely inactive. Won't check in much if at all. I was originally checkin in and rebloggin stuff but imma-#stop til the hiatus ends
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Guess who got a new sketchbook~
No colors for them. Didn't had any dark greens nor browns unfortunately.
some doodles here :P
Love these two rabid animals
#ok I lied it's not now I got it like a month ago#BUT LISTEN i didn't had motivation to draw much and school is exhausting. But! in the end I managed to fill two pages! yayy :D#actually 3. I have one with Rob doodles just like this one i'll post...someday#happy tree friends#htf#htf fanart#htf flippy#htf fliqpy#htf nutty#htf mole#htf the mole#flippy x mole#flipmole#my art#traditional art#man how long has it been since I used that tag??? I just remember it existed omg. Editing all my tradional arts to include this tag r#rn*
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an understanding [1/2]
(part 2)
#hi. oh my god someone kill me it has been Way too long#like a month. sorry about the wait but end of the school year has been killing me. you know how it is#asks will now slow down too because i need to. finish part two first#hopefully posting this will motivate me to do it ?!?!??#maybe i’ll release it in june. Like um. like silksomg. lol (bursts into tears)#in the meantime. feeding you all not crumbs but whole bread slices. ok!#anyway. i like how this turned out. glad they’re errr ‘talking it out’ as the kids say#also forgot to make that masterpost stuff whatever. will probably do that sometime in this life#anyway 2. passes out#myart#oc: no way back#oc: needless separation#mycomics
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2:30 am on a weeknight and i miss ot7 so bad my soul is rattling against my bones like the bars of a prison cell
#idk how coherent this is but it's how i feel at the moment#saw a reel of that moment from mama? mma? one of the big two that one where#right as the daesang is being announced seokjin went mon-ah? saranghae#and i'm literally gnashing my teeth tears down my cheeks shaking and crying like goddamn give them back it's been too long already#i know#the time will fly#just like it has for seokjin and hobi#the days seem endlessly long but the months fly by.#sigh#goodnight#.txt#bts#ot7
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Can. Can we talk about how fucking damaging internet trauma is, and how nobody fucking talks about it?
#like we all hear when someone famous grooms a minor#and we all collectively groan when jar guy is mentioned#and if you really get to talking with anybody who's been on the internet for a long time they'll tell you all about the fucked up shit-#-they've seen#but there's no big addressments or scientific studies or articles written about it#i have seen Two (2) artistic medias that actually fucking discuss it#one is bolavlk/wereawolf by sournoodl (short film) and the other is welcome to the internet by bo burnham (song)#both are incredibly good and hit so fucking hard#bolavlk made me spiral for a solid month from how fucking realistic it is#but yeah beyond that? nothing. we need to talk about the effect internet trauma has on you#tag rants#tag vent#traumadump#internet trauma#online grooming#grooming
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jaw saga update: i had my follow up appointment today, dentist started out saying that usually the follow up visits only need like 15 units. and then he felt my muscles and started laughing, said to ignore everything he just said.
we ended up injecting another 60 units (same amount as the first round)
he told me i'm the first patient he's ever had who needed 120 units for TMD
#i've always been an overachiever#🙃🙃🙃#i told him i recently had a few days where i didn't have any facial pain at all#and he asked how long it had been since i last had a full day without any facial pain and i said i couldn't remember#and he just put his head in his hands 🙃#anyway i love how up until like two months ago i was like 'yeah my jaw causes near-constant pain but it's really fine'#[narrator voice] it was not fine#and that's that on having a fucked up pain tolerance from a lifetime of chronic illness bullshit!#on a lighter note he also said that i would be an excellent teaching case#because most people's musculature has some natural variation from what you see in textbooks and stuff#but apparently mine are all positioned *exactly* like the diagrams 💅🏻#cw dental#cw medical#cw needles#masseter botox
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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I GOT LET OFF WORK EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥 (as in the hour i was hired to be left off lol)
i’m going to use the time to bed rot today so i’m not streaming lol but i’ll back on it tomorrow and hopefully 😬🤞 on youtube from here on out lol 🤞😬🤞
#this is vee speaking#my mental health has been tanking lol and my toxic trait when i’m exhausted is to go to japan apparently#⬅️applied to bat’s fan meeting today out of stress lol#i’m pretty sure they put our two month long consecutive overtime bc our exhaustion reflected in our production numbers#and relatedly i rly hate how the supervisors talk about us behind our back lol#��ohhhhhhh it was worse this one time half a decade ago~’ BRO. THE TURNOVER RATE AT THIS COMPANY IS SHIT NOBODYS STUCK AROUND FOR THAT LONG#IT SUCKS HERE BRO. HOP OFF.#lol but i’m excited to try youtube!!!! i’ve been uploading the vods slowly so i’ll try to get the rest up as well today
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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read in october
audio favourites
Inara: Light of Utopia - 4
The Crimson Crown - 3.5
Blood Over Bright Haven - 4.25
This World Is Not Yours - 3.5
This Fatal Kiss - 4.25
Graveyard Shift - 4
The Scarlet Throne - 4.25
The Summer Queen - 3.75
The Unfinished - 3.25
The Gods Below - 4
The Brightness Between Us - 4.5
The Hysterical Girls of St. Bernadette’s - 4
Long Live Evil - 4.25
At The Feet Of The Sun - 4.5
Old Wounds - 4
The Ballad of Jacquotte Delahaye - 3.75
Mirrored Heavens - 3.75
Petty Treasons
Metal From Heaven (reread) - 4.75
Those Who Hold The Fire
Clever Creatures of the Night - 3
Don't Let The Forest In - 4.5
gn/comics
Not Even Bones (the webtoon) - 4.5
Our Bones Dust - 3.5
The Worst Ronin - 3.25
nonfiction
Recognising the Stranger: On Palestine and Narrative
#laya reads#hilarious how i read 19 non-audio books last month and this month...4. tbf two of them were really fucking long#(i'm not counting the two novella/ettes)#i've been busy with conventions. that's all.#(the fanfiction relapse has nothing to do with it uhhh don't worry about it)#total: 26#i read the NEB webtoon over the last 2 months possibly but most of it in october. so counting it as one here
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