#how it should have gone honestly
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Bad Batch -- Actually Probably Not Spoilers?
But Just In Case:
Like, for plot reasons, I see why they couldn't do it. But my biggest (and possibly the funniest) peeve I have with Bad Batch is this: Canonically, Tech is some kind of master hacker. Can forge chain codes after learning about them five seconds ago. Hacks battle droids -- presumably, you know, SECURED in some way -- on the regular. Masked a ship's signature or whatever. Calculates percentages of plans' successes on the fly while hanging upside down from a screechy flying reptile. Has zero fear (except when Omega is driving the Marauder or someone is doing the Wikipedia entry who isn't him) ("it's not affecting life support. We're fine"; riot racing; everything he's ever done). The moral heart of the Batch pre-Omega ("the systematic termination of the Jedi was a big one for me"; "I understand. I do not agree with you"; "of course we are a family"; "we have not always seen eye to eye with Crosshair but he is our brother and we do not leave our own behind"; but has no issue being pragmatic when it's called for (see: Cid, riot racing again, missions for Rex, interruptions thereof, etc.). Seriously. Wack job of a man. Crazy. Strict moral code arranged almost solely around his family that absolutely nobody sees coming and that, specifically, does NOT preclude massive destruction, property damage, and lethal measures. Ridiculous man. Homeschooled. Genetic Mandalorian. COMPETENT. (Usually.) Bona fide, literal, genetically-engineered test tube genius who is also biologically nine years old. Has no concept whatsoever of overkill. Point being -- he is EXACTLY the kind of person I would expect, once it sunk in that: 1. They are no longer Kaminoan/Republic property 2. They are, in fact, on the run with fam + new baby and - cranky but nonetheless beloved sniper bro who picked a terrible time to be stupid And 3. that "money" is now a thing they must Account For.... Give him two days to study finances, economy, and the various mafia; send him on a weekend trip to Nal Hutta to observe gangs, and hey presto -- the Hutts? overthrown in a year. Black Sun? Under new management. Pykes? A thing of the past. The Senate? Convening emergency sessions to discuss Where All the Money Has Gone. Palpatine's Secret Slush Fund #43? Drained. Hemlock's Science Budget? Currently funding the clone rebellion. ISB 401ks? Being used to pay someone to "retrieve" (read: kidnap) Crosshair from Rampart. Cad Bane's baby-stealing revenue? Currently outfitting the Marauder with gold plating. My point: WHY ISN'T TECH HACKING STAR WARS ATMs Story would have been over six episodes in. Tech would have foreclosed on the Palace; the Death Star would have fallen prey to insurance fraud; Omega would have grown up with more gowns than Padme. The Banking Clan bows to their new and, uh, eccentric overlords. Wrecker has thirteen new Z-6 cannons. Echo has thirteen natborn employees and is thoroughly enjoying himself. Hunter took an actual shower (still didn't get a new bandana). The Empire is turning over the empty coffers and shaking them out, wondering if they have rats. Mas Amedda is standing on street corners with an upturned hat. Crosshair is happily occupied with suing the Kaminoans for emotional damages. The end
#tbb spoilers#just in case#tbb tech#tbb#tbb crosshair#tbb hunter#tbb omega#funny#star wars#the bad batch#bad batch season 3#the bad batch season 2#the bad batch season 1#tbb echo#clone force 99#tbb wrecker#alternate universe#how it should have gone honestly#mywildernesspost
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how sick and twisted would i have to be to miss that lunatic?
batman: arkham city – end game #1 // batman: arkham city – harley quinn's revenge // batman: arkham city – end game #2-6 // batman: arkham knight – the riddler's gambit // batman: arkham knight #0 // batman: arkham knight
#uhh this should be in rough chronological order#lmk if i missed anything#sorry the arkham knight 0 images are crunchy i couldn't find high quality panels anywhere </3#also it may be worth noting some writers portrayed it as like. batman isn't affected by his death and is just glad he's gone#which in all honestly is a massive oversimplification. but that's just the nature of having multiple writers#anyway. hallucination/ghost!joker is such a neat idea and i will forever be pissed at how badly they fumbled that concept in ak#it's alright though i'm working on a fic to fix their fuckups 🫡#batjokes#arkhamverse#batman arkham knight#compilation
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Bla bla bla sleepdeprived rambles and im not online enough for this (aka no tiktok) but. Is the obsession with trans men's hair truly that big? I see too much 1) the ideal of a hairy daddy body being pushed when testo just does not do that for everyone and 2) the CONSTANT list of products and treatments to avoid the gross receding hairline illness!!!!! Literally are we supporting trans people or are we not? fuck this honestly
(post is brought to u by cis friend 1 calling me 'hairy ass donkey' for having chest hair and cis friend 2 saying 'congrats on the receding hairline' like it was an inside joke??? girl we havent seen each other in months? hello??? i know this is tiktok's fault bc she said 'receding hairline' in english lmao)
#im not on tiktok but i have a suspicion its way way bigger there#like i havent gone looking for any of this stuff but i see it sprinkled into SO MUCH its insane#like 'tips for startig testo hrt' type posts that mention 'buy product so u avoid going gross and bald<3' BRO WHAT ARE WE DOINGGG#at the same time i have friends who r genuinely sad they dont have much body hair after testo. cis ppl think we r gross with ‘man hair’ so-#-that pressure for a hair bod is likely coming from inside the community#i dont think community does this on purpose but i do think its abt time we all get it a bit together honestly#'how to grow manly body hair' bro how to live life to the fullest? maybe that?#fuck all of this the reject body expectations community should not put up new body expectations
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#TOH has left me with so many unanswered questions...#Season 1 is like that because of Witches Before Wizards right?#Luz is supposed to explore TBI's and make friends so when Belos drops the reveal in HM it's going to be devastating for her#she makes the horrific realization that she is responsible for all the turmoil her friends and the people of TBI's have gone through#so every happy memory that came before HM is tainted#And I honestly don't hate that idea... but... it came at the cost of worldbuilding#Luz doesn't run into any problems with Belos' theocratic dictatorship and in season one the people of TBI don't really fear Belos#-- and that's not because Belos orchestrated it as so.#Belos takes a very passive role in Season 1 and 2a... it is implied in ST that he's much more aware of things#than we previously have been made to believe#so we are supposed to assume he's been watching Luz the whole time but hasn't really interfered#besides sending Lilith after Eda#Honestly I think they bit more off than what they could chew with the "Belos is a puppeteer'' idea#cuz you need to ask yourself how much puppeteering should Belos be doing?#And in TOH's case they chose to make Belos extremely passive... he's observing but not really doing anything to antagonize Luz#ANYWAYS
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opinions on Tommy
sorry i just like posting polls
#sorry i just like knowing peoples opinions#tumblr shouldn’t have given me a poll option#also my vote is for neutral#mostly#don’t love his character in the flashbacks and wish we got a bit more redemption#he’s a fine character i just personally think he’s a plot device and probs won’t be around for long#idc if he does stay around but i def don’t think he should be endgame for buck#buddie#911#911 on abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 poll#tommy kinard#most of my issue with BT is the shippers honestly#not even all of them#mostly just the super intense ones that think we should stop shipping/hoping for buddie#as if all hope for buddie is gone because tommy’s been here for what? 1 1/2 dates and two kisses?#and the ones who want eddie dead so buck and tommy can have christopher#y’all are crazy#probs the majority of BT shippers are nothing like that but i’ve seen way too much to ignore it#nothing against the rest of y’all that act normal#certainly not getting endgame vibes from the way their relationship is being written and framed#it always makes me happy when i can predict the results of the polls#like i try and tag them as neutrally as possible and then guess how the results will go#and it’s fun but sometimes it scares me#like i get anxious when they aren’t going. the ‘right’ way#i have to start taking my ocd meds again this is becoming a problem#bucktommy
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wough weird sad feelings about my dad who could have expected that
#camera talks#SIBLING IGNORE IM NORMAL AND FINE <3#anyways we know my relationship with my dad#but like for the past two days he’s been honestly friendly and feels like he want to talk and know me a little bit#he made breakfast this morning !!!! he doesn’t do that !!!#he was talking with a hiking buddy who is trans#and they gave him a big list of trans/queer books and my dad wanted to look at it with me#and I’m going on a trip and need a new bag and he wants to help me get like a special nice custom one#and he works at my school now and yesterday he asked for me and asked me sorta a silly question#and I just. idk I feel a little conflicted bc this is my dad and we know how he is#but also he does this sometimes he’s just like randomly happier and better and nicer#(it’s the disorder we share btw)#but anwyays idk yeah it’s weird and makes me feel like a bad kid for not imagining my future with my parents being very involved#anyways anyways. I feel a bit better now btw#sorry for the constant venting I probably should have just gone to bed last night and also like very time I feel like that#I’m gonna make it through this if it kills me. I have people I love so much and care about so much and I can’t and won’t forget that#there are things for me to live for
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Wishing I could beam fully fleshed stories from my head like Zeus and Athena
#why do i have to actually go through the process of WRITING the fic before i can read it. lame#i enjoy the process of writing honestly but sometimes it's like.#i wanna read this SO bad but no one will make my incredibly niche fic ideas except me and maybe my girlfriend#thank god both of us can write#if i couldnt write i would have gone mad burdened by all my ideas over the years by now.#though to be fair exercising that is how i learned to write#anyway. more monty fic rahhhh im torn between trying to write today and also getting the fuck outside <- cabin fever#i will probably do both#part of the struggle is im still in the planning phase. i should go rogue and write something random
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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#coworkers decided to do an impromptu happy hour today and must have made this decision while i was away from my desk at lunch.#bc i got back and they were just. all gone. and i only found out bc our boss swung by my desk before he left and told me.#and i know it wasnt intentional (at least i don't think it was) but idk man! just feels kinda shitty! yall could've left a note or something#but anyways. boss was like you should come! but i. did not go. partially bc im kind of a little sore about that actually?#but also they went to a beer place and i. dont drink beer. and like yeah yeah go for the people not the place but also. idk just.#it's cold and rainy and today has kind of sucked too so like. im not really in the mood#(which HONESTLY was probably the point of going out bc NO ONE is in the mood)#but. ugh.#now im going to spend the whole weekend trying to think of what im going to say when someone inevitably asks me why i wasn't there#and they all probably think im antisocial or whatever#esp bc like. im pretty quiet at work too. like. i feel awkward just jumping into conversations sometimes bc like.#im still the newbie on the team. like i just got moved to this one at the end of august#but these people have been working together for like years now.#so like they all know each other!!! theyre all super comfortable with each other!!!!#but im still new im still getting to know them all!!! and like idk. just feels awkward to insert myself into those conversations#even if im probably allowed to. so i just. dont.#and ugh. its a vicious cycle i know. 😔#but anyways.#wow that was so much oversharing how embarrassing#whatever. what is the internet for if not embarrassing amounts of oversharing 🤷♀️#N E WAYS.
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Gen Z x Pjo/HoO part 16
Meanwhile, whilst Percy, Jason and Piper are fighting Ephialtes and Otis in MoA:
Gen Z, pointing towards Nico in the pot: Um actually, you can’t do that, that’s homophobic.
Ephialtes: …what?
Gen Z: You’ll literally get cancelled.
Otis: …cancelled?
Gen Z: No one will like you and no one will watch your show.
Otis: but-
Gen Z: Nuh uH, you want people to watch? Then you can’t be homophobic. Now free him.
*Giants go and free Nico*
Percy: What-
<- Part 15
Part 17 (coming soon)
#this was probably funnier in my head#honestly how it should have gone#none of us would out Nico though#pjo fandom#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#leo pjo#leo valdez#pjo incorrect quotes#annabeth chase#piper mclean#piper pjo#jason hoo#rick riordan#riordanverse
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happy holidays naeeee !!!! <3 im so sorry i didnt get to post on your tree (i saw yours on my tree and thank you so much :,)) but thank you for being my mutual :) i know we havent talked much but i genuinely enjoy talking to you whenever we did and im so glad to be able to talk to you !!! i hope i get to see more of your pixel art and your piano skills (which are already so impressive like WHAT) and i hope you get all of the love and happiness u deserve <3
WHAATTTT hehehe omg zee ur so kind to me 🥹🥹 seriously what the hell thank u for the compliments n hdbsjdbjd I'm literally so glad to know you... but I'm sure you can tell by my tree message lol. so ye thank you soooo much this makes me rlly happy,, n im wishing u lots of love n hope n joy too <33
#i was just about to go to bed too so this is just such a nice message TᵕT#moots.nae#asks.nae#hehe also#about my pixel art... i have been drawing more frequently!! i just haven't posted anything oops#i probably should n will soon but hehe#trying my best to finish off my current art hehe wink wink em but yeah#im definitely learning ^^#and omg the piano thing ... im honestly so surprised by how many ppl rember that#im honored TᵕT#like i know technically ive achieved great feats with piano stuffs n whatnot ... a bit of nae lore here#i dont usually like saying it cause it feels braggy but ive pretty much done up to grade 7 in le pianino ... but still#still. i don't think im super amazing or anything#BUT !!!!! im so glad u or anyone else love it like ye i love the piano .. u love it too .... share the love .... and then heart attack#erm. ive definitely gone on a ramble so oops#ZEE THANK U YOURE SUPER DUPER AMAZING WONERFUL (wonderhoyyyy) BEING TY ILY <333 /PL#now i eep. sleeby brain right here#goodnini <3
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Please Kal pull thru... keep fighting....
#day 2 of melafix#its still early but he seems to be better today than he was? or at least better tonight#wasnt able to get the QT set up for him yet bc i was gone all day#and its a bitch keeping that thing heated where i want it bc the heater is too small to have temp control on it#so honestly i moght just keep him in the 20gal. even tho i paid. like $60 getting him stuff for the QT#but its fine. its stuff i can use in the future#idk if i should start him on erythromycin. i just dont know what he has#99.99% sure its not fungal so no pimafix#we'll see how a course of melafix goes. can add erythro later#got the filter shit figured out#nightmare#BUT while the filter had to be off for a while#the lack of current meant that A SHRIMP was out and about. u remember the 4 shrimp i got like 6+ months ago that all died#WELL GUESS WHAT. WE STILL GOT 1#little blue shrimp i love u so much. how r u invisible. keep doing ur thing 👍#kal will come up and start trying to swim around in earnest if i go sit right at the glass :< come on buddy....#bel speaks
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"One sided beef"
@sunshinecatie I tried explaining myself, you went "I'm sorry you're hurt" rather than actually apologising.
You willfully misrepresented my opinion that Ed wouldn't kill Jon over him and Susan consensually banging based on canon dialogue rather than buried fics and roped Dee into it instead of just agreeing to disagree until pushed to do so.
I reached out to understand what went wrong. Twice. The second time when I realised your reasons still did not make sense. You WERE upset, why? Wording. What wording? I did not put "I think" at the start or otherwise phrase my opinion as an AU, OC or headcanon.
You doubled down and kept making it about wording when I, like Lunar, say what I mean and the aggression you took from it (on the discord) was projection on your part. However, this post is what it looks like when I am actually angry at you.
Which became a snowball self-fullfilling prophecy because you kept claiming I was angry in the original interaction when I wasn't (which in itself was aggrevating). Eventually making me genuinely angry.
At this point, I:
a. Neither expect nor deserve forgiveness from you or anyone you consider a friend
b. Do not trust the discord to be a safe space for anyone except those you already consider a friend, which is why I left. Because it quickly turned out to not be a fun Rogues fandom chat, and instead Catie's Corner.
c. Do not trust the sincerity of anything you say, given how thoroughly you have repeatedly warped my very straightforward frustrations with your inability to live and let live different interpretatons of canon text (you were only ok with the idea of Ed's actions being confined to an AU, OC or headcanon; when discussion of canon text is very standard procedure in fandom and the act of doing so in itself is not reason for upset, but it proved to be for you, which is why I started to consider you a more controlling person - which likely does not reflect yourself generally).
If you were actually going to reach out to rekindle a nonexistent friendship, you would have. Don't pretend you actually give a shit when you have done nothing but deny, deflect and distance. That is an especially shallow attempt to gage sympathy instead of actually doing better. You don't care about "fixing things", all you care about is making this (me) go away so you don't have to deal with it.
I also do not expect you to agree with my perspective on things, given how prone you have proven to be to misinterpreting people.
So let me be clear.
I was not angry in the discord when all this started.
I am now very angry for how you refused to see that I was not originally angry and instead focussed entirely on how you disliked how you felt I was saying you were "wrong".
You are not "wrong".
I did not say you were "wrong".
My phrasing, to anyone but you, clearly did not even imply you were wrong. It was a disagreement / counterpoint sure, but nothing argumentative or insulting.
Let me repeat.
Me disaggreeing with you does not mean you are wrong!
Also! If people besides me DO for whatever reason think you are wrong, then THAT IS OK!
Disagreement is not invalidation.
Your focus on thinking I needed validation was honestly a bit perplexing.
I was baffled you freaked out over me thinking Ed wouldn't do X. Because whatever I think about Ed doesn't mean you need to think the same thing. I gave my reason for why I thought what I thought. That wasn't an argument. That was just making sure you understood why I thought that about Ed, even if you don't agree.
I vented my anger on my personal account because I did not want to bother people but still wanted to get out how I felt. I have virtually no following, so considered it basically posting into the void the same as any other rant post. I thought the block would keep the post local to my blog. Trying to rebuild this bridge while I still had this box of matches in my pocket would not end well. I would be holding in everything I grew to hate about you through gritted teeth. I do not think like you do, I need actual closure to move on and that is not possible here.
I was frustrated that at every point I attempted to talk to you, you never listened and we just came out further misunderstanding each other.
==>You are not at fault. <==
Silence doesn't feel like mending, or peace, just an indefinite continuation of whatever note was left on.
I also am not vague posting. I am very specifically posting about my exact feelings about fandom discourse and the ways I disagree with your attitude towards it. My non-fandom rants are not about you, your actions have however triggered (inappropriately, I must add) those non-fandom (trauma / mental health) rants.
No it is not your fault. No this is not an attempt at pity farming. It just happens sometimes. Sometimes things people do remind me of past abusers (and yes, your misunderstandings, mannerisms and thought patterns (in terms of what you share online) very closely resemble a narcissistic abuser of mine I have since cut ties with. Does that mean you are narcissistic or abusive? No. The similarities are likely entirely superficial, but it does explain (though not excuse) the misfire), and that exacerbates whatever more mild feelings were initially experienced into a full-blown episode. Again, no that is not your fault, it is just a thing that happens that I am working on and has genuinely improved from the shit show it was before starting medication.
I love the Rogues Podcast. I'm glad you enjoy it as much as I do. I have since 2015, I think. Long before I started social media or any community interaction. I have come to not love the community, which IS yours more than it is Dee's and Codot's, especially these days.
Asking questions is not the issue, it's how you lord yourself over others for being someone asking Dee and Codot questions that is the issue. Again, you are not listening.
For the sake of levity, and because it is how I feel:

One measly interview does not grant you the authority you seem to think you have. You can reframe my anger however you wish, but that does not change the fact that at no point have you actually listened to a single thing I have been trying to tell you that others have perfectly understood without issue, making it clear it isn't my wording.
This is actually why I partially blamed your behaviour on you being American. Silly, I know. But in all the communities (with a mix of fans from across the globe) I have enjoyed interacting with, it has always been American fans that start shit and blame it on me / something innocuous I said. Always.
Granted, that was only one or two other times (once with a Legend of Korra fan and another with a far right Fallout fan) so my sample size is small but still.
Autistic people aren't all the same. It stands to reason that speech and mannerisms will generally differ across countries. What wording you need to feel unbothered is VERY specifically with added reassurance. In the discord I felt like I needed to follow up everything with something to go "You're valid (Catie)!" to keep you placated. It's not like I waltzed in there are picked the fights that ended up happening. I waltzed in their and started talking about Rogues and other stuff I like.
This is a side-tangent, but my feelings towards the ways we miscommunicated with each other are much like my mum's feelings towards most software she uses for work demanding the use of American spellings and American grammar even when set to "British English", which is clearly a completely superficial setting that doesn't actually adhere to British grammar and spelling.
So I lashed out in frustration. And rather than confront me yourself, you called upon Codot and the discord to do it for you, or at the very least so they would hear your version of the story first so they come into this with your story already in mind. Telling people you treat like goons to tell me to back off doesn't work. It just validates my unflattering view of you. Sorry.
I have tried to be as clear as possible in this post.
If it upsets you, fine.
The only thing I ask is that you please do not feel threatened or upset when people besides me discuss Rogues!Ed (and the Rogues podcast as a whole on a deeper level than just "Wow! I LOVE that character!", "That line was SO funny!", etc.). Not as an AU, OC or headcanon, but just how they see them in text. Otherwise this will happen all over again, just with someone else. And it will be your fault.
#i am autistic#it is not an excuse#Lunar's post honestly feels like a perfect extension of how I feel about this situation and you Catie#I feel like I have to stay silent around you#and walk on eggshells#I don't know what will set you off honestly#since it took just saying I wouldn't think Ed would do something for you to become upset the first time#then dramatically stormed off the server after I told you to stop bereting other server users who believe in death of the author#It's not like I was being hateful or hurtful#I honestly thought my posts would be hidden from you since I blocked you (and lunar in case you asked them to snoop for you)#I am allowed to however vent in my own bloody blog#I very specifically referred to things you said and your username#that isn't vague posting it's shower arguments#I posted them fully thinking the block would prevent you from seeing them#i am new to tumblr#Frankly I wish to swear worse than a sailor at you#at the same time#I wish I was financially able to fly over there and share my non-rogue passions with you#Like teaching you aerial and such#I guess as a way to apologise and talk candidly about things you are less likely to get upset about because they're unfamiliar#I've avoided going into detail about how profoundly you've upset me in case my anger didn't make that clear enough#But your initial attack and every attack to others or myself has made my heart beat through my chest and made me unable to sleep#I have gone out of my way to move on and do things to help#walks#touching grass (you and Lunar should also do this quite frankly)#talking therapy#going back on my anti-depressents after not needing them for a year#trying to focuss on other things#none of it helped so I needed to vent#In case you still think I'm trolling or doing this for fun I am not and never was
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just realized ive been obsessed with Two jasons who died as kids but came back "wrong" and killed people a little but not their fault(JOKE)
#i should start a collection of undead jasons. how many are truly out there my collection might already be complete#honestly i think jason (vorhees) might have been accidental inspiration for certain bits and pieces of my au version of jason (todd)#and also that started making me think of Really undead jason (todd)#some ppl already do sort of have little headcanons where he is A Little More Dead#but like i dont think anyones gone as far as f13 levels of deterioration#and i wont. but i will think about it in my head#i love u jasooooon ^_^ go through the horrors
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#thinkinn abt changing my name#i have thought about it for 3yrs#but honestly.... last year i got so sidetracked and everything in my life fell away#its just that i dont fkn care abt anything#but being in love and filling my life with that#was what happened bc it is what i need and want lol#but now im like ok... back into the empty hollow of my so called life#my id card expires in mid november#so i have to send the application for name change now if i wanna do it#the thing is...#im attached to this name in english#it is nice sounding in english yeah. but in swedish is sounds like absolute garbage#i like the other name i've thought abt changing to foryears. it was what my mom was originally gonna call me#it soyunds better in swedish too#but tbh im also attached to it bc...#idk... feeling like her (that name) with him felt right and sounded right#and i loved that name in his mouth and him calling me that and it was nice and i couldve lived in that forever#but now thats gone#and tbh i cannot stay there all alone while he is gone and had left and is w someone else#i cant like not change my name simply bc it is painful that i will never hear him call me my new name#and i really did feelcomfortable inthat name and being her with him#but im never even gonna hear his voice again#am i just gonna listen to his old voice messages and cry and enjoy him calling me my name#while he has left and is in lobve with someone else#and is calling her HER name. no. i cant#i wanna cry just thinking abt that. i dont wanna let him or us go#but he made that choice for me and i cannot do anything abt it#no matter how fkn bad it hurts. how much i dont want to#im gonna have to move on and live my boring empty ass life without him lol#so yeah.. i should change my name
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it’s completely bananas to me that halsin's sex scene features a moment where he somehow loses control of his druidic powers and wildshapes into a bear, because he’s apparently that horny. like...gale had to be infected with a mindflayer tadpole for him to make mistakes in his spellcasting, even though he already carried a small nuclear bomb of evil, weave-consuming magic in his chest. what THE fuck is halsin’s excuse? like, as funny as it is for an archdruid to be so overcome with lust upon seeing a tdick that he loses his grip on his abilities, it makes absolutely no sense! what do you mean that this guy has enough power to open a portal to the shadowfell, and rescue a little fey boy from it, but he can't control his wildshaping because "bear horny?" HUH?
#bg3#thoughts about media#the more I think about halsin and SH. the more I grow resentful of their writer in specific.#genuinely. what the hell was this guy thinking.#like how is this scene meant to be sexy?#as a monsterfucker- I GET the appeal of a man fighting his “inner beast��� to be with his partner.#but it doesn't come across that way in the halsin scene. it feels...silly? nonsensical?#he's an extremely powerful druid....losing control of his wildshape because he's aroused makes him look...immature.#is the appeal of halsin not that he is an experienced but lonely older man?#when confessing to your player character- he expresses his appreciation for the care with which the PC has treated him.#which I LOVED because it developed upon that initial dialogue of his where he reveals how alone he really is!#his family is all gone...so he only had the grove.#but the people at the grove held him in such high regard...it was like he wasn't a person anymore. just a “leader.”#it makes perfect sense to me that he would fall for someone who treats his feelings as important...who treats him like a person!#but the sex scene devolves so rapidly into...god...something out of a badly written fanfic?#honestly- forget the wildshaping. your PC should have had the opportunity to top halsin.#it would have made MUCH more sense given why he's even attracted to your PC in the first place.
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