#I’m gonna make it through this if it kills me. I have people I love so much and care about so much and I can’t and won’t forget that

[ladykailitha]

Spellbound Part 3

And we're back with this one! I am loving how much you guys are into this one, I hope you guys are ready for the start of the troubles.

In this we have Jason being a douche, Eddie gets mad at Wayne, and Eddie and Wayne find out about Bav!

Part 1 Part 2

~

The downside to the charm’s spell of no return is that that didn’t include their loved ones and family members. They never got through Steve’s defenses, but they sure could pound on his door and trigger a migraine.

Eddie poked his head out his front door, a little surprised that whoever was pounding on the witch’s door, had not in fact knocked his door first. But when he saw it was the major’s son, Jason, the blond Adonis, he promptly decided that it was the witch’s problem and not to interfere.

But as he turned to close the door there was a loud CRACK! He whirled around to see that idiot had brought an ax with him and was trying to break down the witch’s door.

Eddie sighed and pulled out Wayne’s shot gun that he kept by the front door and leveled it at the idiot. “Jason Carver I swear to God if you don’t step away from that door, I’ll shoot you. And while I might not be the best shot, at this distance it would be like hitting the broad side of a barn.”

Jason turned at him with a snarl, but that quickly fell from his face as he realized he was barely twenty feet from the barrel of double-barrel shotgun.

“You stay out of this, Munson,” he growled. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

Eddie sighed and took two steps away from his door. “See, I was gonna mind my own business until you started deciding that because Steve wasn’t home, you were going to put an ax through his door.”

Jason paused for a moment with a frown before raising the ax again. “I know you’re lying to me. I saw movement behind the curtain.”

Eddie scoffed. “Sir, him and that girl who is his apprentice has a familiar each between them. You probably saw the cat or the bird ruffling the drapes. Now get out of here, before I start hollering for the watch.”

Jason looked back at the door and at Eddie. He pointed his ax at him. “You tell that no good witch, I’m coming for him. He’s going to pay for what he did.”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment. “Make him pay for what? He does herbal remedies and love charms. He’s mostly harmless.”

“It’s those love charms that are the problem,” Jason snarled taking a step Eddie’s direction, but stopped when Eddie moved his finger on to the trigger. “Filling people’s heads with this true love nonsense. All any woman needs is a good provider to take care of her and any babies she has.”

“Jason,” Eddie said pained, “leave before you say something else stupid that will cause me to shoot you. Women aren’t fucking bees, sir. They don’t all have the same thoughts, ideals, and desires. Some women may want what you have to offer, but not all of them, and I’m willing to bet Miss Cunningham is one of those that don’t.”

Jason stepped off the witch’s porch and walked the other direction than Eddie’s house, both of them staring each other down until Jason turn the corner and vanished from view.

Eddie slumped against the door frame and opened the chamber, cursing what he found there. It was empty. It didn’t even have two spent shells in it.

“Uncle Wayne!” he groused stomping through the house. “The gun doesn’t do shit if it ain’t loaded, old man. You could have gotten me killed just now! I hope you know that!”

Wayne came through the backdoor wiping his hands on an old rag. “What are you yapping about now?”

Eddie tossed the gun at him and he caught deftly one-handed. “You don’t keep an empty gun by the door, old man.”

Wayne checked the chamber and looked up at Eddie chagrin. “Ah.” He limped over to the cupboard and pulled out a box. He deftly loaded the shotgun, it draped over one arm. He slammed it shut and tossed it back.

“Sorry about that,” Wayne said with a cock of his head. “I forgot to reload it after chasing off those rabbits last week.”

Eddie said nothing as he put the gun back next to the door.

“Who did you chase off?” Wayne asked as he started making the tea Steve made for him.

“Jason Carver,” he groused as he sat down hard at the table, leaning his head back over the back of the chair. “Apparently his fianceé got a love charm from the witch and it didn’t match with him. So he was making an ax of himself.”

Wayne huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “So you scared him off with the shot gun? How close did you get to shooting the mayor’s son?”

Eddie raised his head. “Close enough that had it been loaded, the town would be having a fucking funeral. He actually took an ax to Steve’s door with the intent of breaking it down.”

“He was doing what now?” Wayne squawked, nearly knocking off the tea kettle from the stove. “Shit, is Steve okay?”

“No idea,” Eddie said with a shrug. “He never answered the door, so I assumed he wasn’t home. I’m hoping that because Jason was scared off, he didn’t get his mark.”

“Christ!” Wayne said, his hand beginning to shake. “With him being the mayor’s son, this is a pretty pickle. Mayor Carver could drive Steve out of town.”

They shared a long hard look and then Wayne downed his tea as fast as he could. Then they were both grabbing their coats and Eddie grabbed the gun, rushing out the front door to race to Steve’s.

They arrived at his cottage just as Robin and he returned.

The witch and his apprentice shared a glance and Steve asked what was wrong. He listened to Eddie tale solemnly.

“Well,” Steve huffed dryly. “I’d like to see them try. Many a mob has tried to oust my family for generations, I assure you they will not succeed.” He walked up the door and ran his finger over the splintered wood. “I’m sorry he hurt you.” The line grew yellow and then in a flash was gone.

Then Steve promptly fainted.

Robin and Wayne were at his side in an instant, helping him into the cottage. They laid him out on the sofa by the window. Then Eddie felt a slightly queasy feeling and he closed his eyes against the wave of sudden nausea.

Robin was pushing a cup of something into his hand before he even opened his eyes.

“Drink that,” she insisted. “It’s a little hard to get used to the feeling when Bav moves stuff around to accommodate Steve. Heaven knows it took me a whole month before I stopped turning green.”

Eddie downed it one go, gagging on the bitter taste. Next to him, Wayne did the same. Eddie looked around the room and saw that Steve’s work table that was usually by the front door was now by the back door. Even the window appeared larger to let in more air and light.

Robin started mixing up another potion and lifted Steve’s head. She helped him drink the potion and then admonished him. “You didn’t have to do that, you lunatic. Bav had it. She would have had door fixed by the end of the day.”

Steve snorted as he came round and struggled to sit up. Robin helped him straight up as he swung his feet to the floor.

“Yes, I know,” Steve huffed, gripping the edges of the sofa. “But it was the least I could do after she got hurt for me.”

Eddie wasn’t sure, but he would swear for years that walls of the cottage turned pink. Like Bav was blushing.

He had to give himself a mental shake because that wasn’t possible. There was no way that an inanimate object can blush. Then he realized that she could move. And was therefore, in face of it was in fact, animate.

Now suddenly he was uncomfortable with the knowledge that that walls might not only have ears, but eyes too.

Robin scoffed as though she could read his thoughts. “She can’t see anything or really hear. But she can feel Steve and knows what he needs.”

Eddie wasn’t sure he believed her, but there really wasn’t anything else he could do at the moment. Wayne and he watched as Robin busied herself making Steve food.

“Why do you do it if it takes so much out of you?” Eddie asked. He couldn’t remember his mama having fainting spells and eating them out of house and home.

Steve gathered up a blanket from the back of the sofa and drew it around him. “It’s not supposed to be like this,” he admitted shyly. “It’s like I can only access half of my magic. My mother couldn’t figure it out either. Last we spoke she was still looking into the matter.”

“The closest anyone has gotten to figuring it out,” Robin said, handing Steve a large plate of cheese, bread, and sweet meats, “is that his magic is tied to another witch somehow and until he finds them, he’s only a half of a witch.”

Wayne and Eddie shared a shocked glance.

“How could that even happen?” Wayne asked, in genuine concern.

Steve started to talk around his bit of cheese, but stopped when he couldn’t get the words out.

“What this adorable idiot is trying to say,” Robin huffed with a laughter, “is that once every hundred years or so there is born a pair of witches that are so powerful that they would burn themselves up in a decade. So a spell was placed on them so that when that pair was born their power would be halved to keep it from burning them out until they were old enough to control it.”

“Which is bullshit,” Steve said, gulping down the bite in his mouth. “No one believes that’s me, by the way. But it’s the closest anyone could find to why I’m such a bad witch. It’s just a fairy story witches tell their children so they grow up believing in their other half.”

Eddie’s head reared back. He thought he was cynical, but it seemed that even Steve topped him in that regard. “Wow, that’s a bleak outlook, I won’t lie.”

Steve huffed angrily and tried to stand up, but he barely got halfway before tumbling back to the sofa.

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere for awhile,” Robin said with a smirk. “You’ll need a lot of rest if you’re going to want to be on your feet anytime soon.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine, son?” Wayne asked. “Because after what you just told us I’m not sure you will be.”

“Bav will protect me,” Steve said stubbornly. “Even if I get caught outside of the cottage, she’ll come to my aid, you’ll just have to trust me on that.” He settled back into the sofa and Eddie could swear the house relaxed too.

Wayne opened his mouth to ask the question on both his and Eddie’s mind, but Robin held up her hand to forestall him.

“I don’t know,” she said tersely, glaring at Steve. “He won’t tell me how she’ll come to his aid, only that she would and could.”

Steve mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key and then finished the rest of his meal with a smug expression on his face.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @wheneverfeasible @micheledawn1975 @gloomysoup @dotdot-wierdlife @tartarusknight

10- @ollyxar @yesdangerpls @two-vampires-kissing @themoonagainstmers @estrellami-1

[abbyandersxnswife]

Tis The Damn Season ── ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

Canon!Abby x reader, apocalypse AU

Synopsis: You and Abby have always loved each other, but grief, time, and circumstance have separated you both. After you bump into her unexpectedly in Jackson, can you reconcile? Can you still accept her after learning what happened in the lodge?

Warnings: Angst, comfort ending

Word count: 1.2 k

✦ ───────────────────── ✦

The air was frigid in Jackson, the settlement heavy with snow. You had been returning with a patrol when you spotted a woman running past you, clearly trying to catch up with her crew up ahead. Curiously, you followed. Strangers were rare in Jackson.

And so maybe it was fate when the woman had stumbled, nearly falling off the nearby precipice, when you grabbed her hand, hauling her up.

Whatever words you had planned to say next died in your throat upon seeing the woman’s face, your heart pounding as your gaze met familiar green eyes.

“Abby..?”

It was like all the memories just came flooding back…

-

“I ran to the operating room and he was..” Abby sobs. You hold her in your arms, gently smoothing the flyaways out of her face. She continues, “He was dead, just lying there. I kept screaming, Dad wake up, but he couldn’t..”

“I’m sorry Abby” You say softly. Abby just clutches onto you, arms tight around your waist. “He loved you, it’s not your fault, you didn’t know-” You murmur, trying your best to comfort her.

“I hate that he left me.. That he’s dead… what am I supposed to do now?” She asks, lashes wet with tears. “I’m gonna find whoever did this and kill them” She says darkly.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, we don’t know who it was. Why don’t we just stay here for now? We’ll figure it out, together.”

Abby nods at your words, and then breaks into sobs again, unable to stop. You stroke her hair, tucking the blankets a little tighter around the two of you on the couch. Nothing could go bad as you were together. Nothing.

-

“Y/n?” Abby asks, confused as she gets up. You stare at her, mentally cataloguing all the differences. Her cheekbones are more defined, her eyes are colder, she’s several inches taller, and more muscular.

“What are you doing here?” You ask in return, noticing the blood on her shirt. You grab her arm, concerned. “Are you hurt?”

Abby blinks, taken back, but she doesn’t step away. “No.. it’s not mine.” She says, eyes darting to the ground. Her demeanor seems more distant, yet more sad, than you remember.

“I was supposed to be with my crew… but-” Abby looks off into the distance, not a trace of her crew left. “Fuck.” She swears, clearly at a loss for what to do.

You look at her, the settlement not too far away. “You could stay with me, I’ve got a cabin in Jackson. There’s a nasty storm coming.” I nod to the quickly darkening sky.

Abby’s eyebrows are furrowed, clearly torn. Her gaze darts to the horizon, scanning, before she sighs, turning back to you.

“Okay, just for tonight..” Abby says.

You head down to the settlement, making your way towards the cabin, hearing shouts as people race past you towards the lodge nearby.

“They fucking killed Joel!” A girl shouts, and you turn your head to look, but Abby grabs your arm, wrenching your gaze away.

“How much farther? Can we hurry?” Abby says, looking around furtively. You oblige, despite the sinking feeling you feel in the pit of your stomach.

“What did you do?” You ask, once you two are safely inside the privacy of your cabin. You kneel down to start a fire, bathing you both in a warm glow.

Abby stands awkwardly, shifting her weight. For the first time since you’ve seen her again, you catch a glimpse of your Abby, some echo of 17 year old Abby coming through.

“I… it was for him. My dad.” Abby says heavily, sitting down on the couch. You sit down next to her, hesitant to press her.

“It was you. You guys killed… that Joel guy. You and your crew, in the lodge.”

Abby looks up at the mention of Joel, her eyes meeting yours. They’re fraught with a mixture of emptiness, anger, and sadness.

“Yes.”

You look at her for another second, still searching her eyes. There’s a little bit of hope resting in them, as if she still longs for your acceptance, even after all this time.

“It’s okay.” You say simply, rubbing her shoulder. “But, can I ask you something?”

Abby nods, her expression tired.

“Did it make you feel any better..?” You say softly, leaning towards her.

Abby’s mouth forms into a thin line, trying to speak, just before her face cracks, her body racking with sobs. Old habits kick in, and you draw her into your arms, her feeling weirdly familiar despite the obvious changes you two have been through, physically and not. She wraps her arms around you, head resting on your chest as she cries.

“No..” Abby whispers, “it didn’t.”

She pushes out of your arms, face darkening. “It was supposed to make me feel better- the last 4 years wasted, training to kill fucking Joel Miller..” She trails off angrily, looking past you.

“You need to grieve, killing Joel was never going to give you the kind of closure you needed.” You say.

Abby just looks at you, her gaze hardening again.

“I don’t know. I just.. I just need to be alone.”

You understand, and nod, swallowing as you get up.

“If I leave you alone, promise me you won’t leave?” You ask, voice cracking a little.

Abby’s eyes seem to soften. “I promise.”

You leave her alone on the couch, staring into the fire, slipping softly into your bedroom. Maybe she’d be up for more talk later.

-

Abby’s quiet when you come out of your room a few hours later, and you prepare some stew for you both to eat. When you’ve finished ladling the soup into your bowls, you walk over to her, prepared to deal with an emotional Abby, but she’s sound asleep on the couch. You put the bowls down on the table, kneeling next to her.

Asleep, Abby looks much like her younger self, expression so much more peaceful than it did when she was awake. You’re unsure if to wake her, feeling she probably needs the sleep, and shift to get up.

An arm reaches out to stop you, Abby’s grip gentle as she holds you.

“Wait.”

You stop, kneeling back down, curious.

“I made you stew-” You say, gesturing. Abby sits up, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

“I’m sorry for earlier… It's been hard, without my dad. Without you.” She admits, looking away at the last part. “I was angry about losing him, and got so bent on revenge… but I also felt angry about losing you, even if you weren’t dead. You could have been. May as well been.”

Your chest physically pains you, as you hear her words. The hurt in her voice is the same as the kind found in yours.

“Abby I didn’t want to leave Salt Lake City, the Fireflies disbanded after the massacre in the hospital… my family wanted to leave- and I.. you know I would have stayed if I could. I would have.”

You reach out to her again, hand resting on her knee, and Abby stares at it for a moment before putting her hand over yours.

“I needed you there..” She says, a single tear escaping again. “And you weren’t”

You get up, sitting beside her again. Your words come out hoarse, holding back tears at the sight of hers.

“I know. I’m sorry. I never wanted to be without you” I say. “I can’t make up for lost time, I know that… but we’re together again aren’t we? Maybe I could accompany you wherever you go next..” I suggest softly.

Abby looks at you, her eyes a few shades brighter, smile watery.

“I’d like that."

✦ ───────────────────── ✦

[archivalofsins]

The timeline today is so fun.

Really loving Mahiru's commitment to this whole I'm not holding a grudge at all routine. Like I'm so forgiving, I'm not mad. Please, come a little closer and trust me.

After all, I'm no liar-

Love is (Un)Dead 6:47 six minutes and forty-seven seconds in. "This means that... You think of me as a liar, doesn't it...? Did I do something that made you think that?

I would never hold a grudge, get jealous, or lie.

Love Is Mine 8:56 eight minutes and fifty-six seconds in. Jealousy... Grudges... Having your partner stolen from you... Those stories aren't all that uncommon now, are they? "You're wrong. It wasn't that. I... Never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!"

Me big sis Mahiru nooo- never!

Love is (Un)Dead 1:24 one minute and twenty-four seconds in. "I think Kotoko-chan is the one who caused this, so... You know. It's not like it's your fault. Um, so...! I'm not holding a grudge against Kotoko-chan, either. I'm sure she just thought it couldn't be helped..."

"A monstrous dilemm... "DIE"."

Like go off passive aggressive queen. For someone who doesn't do any of those things, they're certainly brought up around and by you a lot. That's none of my business, though.

I am curious as to why you went to cell ten to talk to Kotoko but mentioned needing to thank Shidou still while there?

I mean, that's a bit odd. He lives right next to you. On top of that, he's been your caretaker for over a year now. Have you not seen him today? That's peculiar because he's presented himself as always needing to be by your side or you'd die. Because that's how bad your condition is.

Even discussing still giving you treatment on Yuno's birthday.

24/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Shidou: Thank you for your assistance with Shiina-kun’s treatment. It’s been a big help having you here. Both for her and for me. It’s good to know that even if something happens to me, you’ll still be around.

Yuno: No way. I can’t do anything on my own. All I’m doing is helping with whatever you’re doing. It’s just like playing pretend as a nurse.

Shidou: No, you’ve got a good sense for things like this. You’re quick to notice things, calm and fearless. If you haven’t decided what you want to be in the future, maybe you should consider becoming a doctor yourself.

Yuno: You think so? ……haha, stop it. I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter.

I know the audience hasn't seen you thank him within the timeline.

Yet, why would this come to mind while you were meeting up with Kotoko of all people? You didn't come here to thank her. You just wished her happy birthday.

So, what's the correlation? Why would seeing Kotoko make you think of thanking Shidou?

"In that case, give me the chance to make amends to extract that fang, now."

Weird it's just quite odd that would come to mind upon going to see her. Like, oh, Happy Birthday- Ah, that reminds me I should probably find a way to help and thank Shidou for all he's done for me.

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko?

Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve things with violence.

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with?

Mahiru: I talk to Shidou-san a lot now, since he’s looking at my injuries. Also, Yuno-chan.

Even though you've both spoken a lot since the beginning of trial two, he lives right besides you, and he's been taking care of you daily- You haven't thanked him yet, Mahiru? Is that because you want to thank him through a certain gesture. By giving him something he may want in return for everything he's done for you. Could it be that seeing Kotoko reminded you of thanking him because she's somehow involved in how you will.

Let's cut the bullshit are you gonna try to kill Kotoko? Because, uh, this is getting questionable. The are you mad I'm not mad passive aggressiveness, the amicable distance, it's nothing new for her.

Kazui even asks her about it at the very start.

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shiina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right?It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out, the whole group could fall apart.

Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff!

Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens.

Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts, actually. I don’t really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

In the same way Yuno and Futa question Mikoto for always seeming to force a smile and being chatty. Yet Kazui saying this has rarely ever been taken as an accurate read of Mahiru's personality like the statements about Mikoto have.

Like it's easy to fall into stereotyping and think,

Q.05 Who do you dislike most out of the other prisoners?

Mahiru: Futa-kun is a bully, so definitely out! Also, Mikoto is pretty flippant, he kinda seems like the type who’d cheat~

Futa is a brazen hot-head who doesn't think before acting. He's a natural bully he was too uneducated and reactionary to actually know the harm he was causing. Mikoto is careless and flippant but he was trying so hard. He never wanted to hurt anybody. They never had the intent to do what they did and regret it now.

Mahiru is just a silly airhead who didn't realize the harm she was causing to her partner.

"My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!"

She was never actively malicious. She didn't want to cause harm to anyone. She wasn't holding a grudge or anything. There's not one hateful jealous bitter bone in her little silly body. She even still extends grace and kindness to Kotoko after all she put her through.

Mahiru Shiina is so kind she's bordering on saintly.

I hope everyone remembers how kindness can be used to manipulate and do harm to others outside of people who have moral ocd and think about that every day. Looking into love bombing outside of abusive religious contexts can be helpful to. Mostly because it allows one to recognize when it's being done on a interpersonal level and not just structural ones.

Knowing a good deal about both is always good.

Love Is Mine 10:32 ten minutes and thirty-two seconds in. "I... discovered how amazing it was to be in love with someone. It's incredible, you know? Each and every day seemed to sparkle and everything became vibrant. It transforms such mundane scenarios into those of soap operas and films!

Signs of Love Bombing Love bombing is often romanticized in TV and movies. The typical story involves an uninterested character who is being pursued by an eager suitor. The pursuer consistently violates the uninterested character’s boundaries until they fall in love and decide to be together. However, this unrealistic depiction of a relationship is actually a story of love bombing and how it can manifest in real life.

"This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”. My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

Love Is Mine 6:58 six minutes and fifty-eight seconds in. "You're fifteen, aren't you? Right in the heat of adolescence! Do you have anyone you like?" I honestly have no interest in those matters. "What? No, no. There's no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It'll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life."

According to Psychology Today, “love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection.” This kind of behavior is a form of emotional abuse, and although it can be experienced during any stage of a relationship, it is often seen in the early stages of getting to know one another. It may seem like your new partner really likes you, but love bombing can often serve as a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.

"What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked."

Ultimately, you are the only one who knows what makes you feel comfortable and what does not. We know that all relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive, so it always helps to check in with yourself and decide if you need to speak to your partner about your concerns.

Healthy A healthy relationship means that both you and your partner are: Communicative. You talk openly about problems and listen to one another. You respect each other’s opinions. Respectful. You value each other’s opinions, feelings, and needs, and give each other the freedom to be yourself and be loved for who you are. Trusting. You believe what your partner has to say and don’t feel the need to “prove” each other’s trustworthiness. Honest. You’re honest with each other but can still keep some things private. Equal. You make decisions together and hold each other to the same standards. You and your partner have equal say with regard to major decisions within the relationship. All partners have access to the resources they need. Setting boundaries. You enjoy spending time apart, alone, or with others. You respect each other’s need for time and space apart. You communicate with each other about what you are and aren’t comfortable with. Practicing consent. You talk openly about sexual and reproductive choices together. All partners always willingly consent to sexual activity and can safely discuss what you are and aren’t comfortable with. Parenting supportively. All partners are able to parent in a way that they feel comfortable with. You communicate together about the needs of the child(ren), as well as the needs of the parents. Unhealthy You may be in an unhealthy relationship if your partner is: Non-communicative. When problems arise, you fight or you don’t discuss them at all. Disrespectful. You or your partner behave inconsiderately toward the other. Not trusting. You or your partner refuse to believe the other or feel entitled to invade their privacy. Dishonest. You or your partner lie, omit, or obscure facts. Taking control. You or your partner takes steps to suggest that one’s desires and choices are more important than another’s. Isolating. Your partner restricts your contact with other people, either in person or online. Pressured into sexual activity. One partner uses pressure or guilt against another to coerce them into sexual acts or reproductive choices. Ignoring boundaries. It’s assumed or implied that only one partner is responsible for making informed decisions. Unequal economically. Finances aren’t discussed. Financial decisions are made unilaterally or it’s assumed that only one partner is in charge of finances. Abusive A relationship is abusive when your partner: Communicates harmfully. Your partner communicates or in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting, or demeaning. Mistreats the other. Your partner doesn’t respect your thoughts, feelings, decisions, opinions, or physical safety. Makes untrue accusations. Your partner accuses you of cheating or breaking the boundaries of your relationship. Your partner may escalate by creating situations where you need to “prove” your trustworthiness, like handing over your social media passwords. Controls the other. There’s no equality in your relationship. One partner makes decisions without the other’s input, or makes all of the decisions in certain parts of the relationship, like finances. Isolates the other. Your partner controls where you travel, who you talk to, or how you spend your time. This often includes physical or emotional isolation from your family and friends. Forces sexual activity or controls reproductive choices. Your partner forces or pressures you to engage in sexual activity you don’t want to. Your partner controls your reproductive choices by sabotaging birth control, or by pressuring you to have or not have children. Controls finances. Your partner controls the money and access to resources, including preventing you from earning an income or accessing their own income. Having an open, respectful dialogue about finances is not an option. Manipulates children. Your partner uses your children to gain power and control over you, including telling them lies or baseless criticisms about you.

"Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night Forcing you to wake up, and I say “Good Morning!”." - "Giving you love to the point of pulling you down. It’s just because I still get worried, please forgive me. Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual."

Love Bombing Sign #4: Communication Overload When you first establish your relationship, you may speak to your partner more frequently, because you are learning about each other and your desires for your relationship. Good communication is required to have a solid and healthy relationship, but you should not be feeling overwhelmed by the amount of communication you are receiving. This could be an excellent time to talk about how you feel and find a way to communicate with each other that works for both of you.

Sign #1: "Soulmate" Status Finding a partner that feels like a perfect fit is gratifying. But it can take time to really get to know your partner. When love bombing occurs, often labels such as “soulmate”, “their person,” or “their other half” are applied early in the relationship. While it may feel validating to be considered as an important figure in their lives, it could be a cause for concern if you have not known them very long, or if you feel uncomfortable. Even being told “I love you” within a couple of weeks of starting a relationship can be a red flag. If you feel unsettled about how fast you’re moving, it may be time to speak with your partner.

"I even love saying the words, “I love you”."

Sign #2: Exaggerated Compliments Compliments are a great way to show that you’re interested in each other. It is not unusual to exchange compliments in a relationship, especially as you are getting to know one another. However, if the comments your partner is making seem over-the-top, it could be another sign of love bombing, especially if they make you feel uneasy. Here are some examples: “My prayers have been answered now that I have you in my life.” “I feel like you were created just for me.” “I can’t imagine finding anyone more perfect than you.” “My life would be nothing without you.” These types of comments can feel overwhelming, and if you are still getting to know them, it may come across as grandiose. A gut check with yourself may be helpful to decide if you are comfortable with these types of statements. If they do not feel right to you, try to address these feelings with your partner. If possible, discuss creating boundaries that work for both of you.

"Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can’t come true."

"I suck at pretending to smile- But see! I feel great because of you!"

"The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you is love."

Is Love Enough? But the truth is, love isn’t always enough of a reason to stay in a relationship. Don’t get us wrong: loving someone, or caring deeply for them, is a wonderful thing, but it’s a feeling that can also make a relationship complicated. We hear from many people who tell us about unhealthy behaviors or feeling unhappy in a relationship but say that they still love their partners. It’s very possible to have feelings of love for someone even if they are mistreating you. It’s important to recognize that love is just one part of a whole. There are a few other crucial ingredients to having a solid, healthy relationship.

"We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad."

"Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin. My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight. Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right."

Love is (Un)Dead 5:03 five minutes and three seconds in.

What I saw was... just you having fun. I'm sure you were in love. Your feelings of bliss were conveyed to me as well. Right? It was really fun..! Did it make you want to fall in love?

I was happy, I had fun, I wanted, all I did-

Love is (Un)Dead 4:31 four minutes and thirty-one seconds in.

Was love someone.

Meanwhile each time this guys feelings are alluded to.

What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked.

Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night. Forcing you to wake up, and I say “Good Morning!”. But I fall asleep before you, I really feel bad you know? We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you’ll get angry soon.

This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end- What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”

I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that. The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here.

If I could see you again, I wonder, what would I say to you and how?

Non-communicative. When problems arise, you fight or you don’t discuss them at all.

"We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad."

"Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual."

Communicates harmfully. Your partner communicates or in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting, or demeaning.

Do you really think you know what love is?

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

On to the birthday girl. This is the third time this trial Kotoko has been shown her actions had no impact on the prisoners or their behaviors. From Mikoto walking up to her as though nothing happened on her last birthday,

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but for now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate.

Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself.

Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……!

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

To Haruka approaching her despite the big deal Shidou and Kazui were making about negotiating a ceasefire with her.

23/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……please, don’t tell anyone. And also, please, don’t get involved. All I can do, is ask, you……

Kotoko: ––Fufu, fufufufufu. That’s a crazy thing to be thinking. Honestly, it’s weird. But I don’t hate it. If only all the wrongdoers were like you.

Haruka: No…… that’s wrong…… That’s not, why I’m doing, this…… This, isn’t for me…… I have to protect…… so, Kotoko-san…… please……

Kotoko: Eh? Ah, yeah, yeah. Well, I promise I won’t get in your way. Honestly, if I could, I’d love to do it myself, but I’ll step back this time. As for what happens next…… I wonder. It depends on Es.

To Mu going up to her on her own birthday just to tell her off,

24/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Mu: You know, I think this is all your fault really. Everyone’s on edge because you lashed out. And because of that, nobody’s paying attention to me any more. It’s kinda boring. I don’t get it.

Kotoko: ……you went out of you way to say that to my face? Aren’t you scared of me? The next target of my fangs might be you.

Mu: Why? Kotoko-san, aren’t you punishing the bad guys? I didn’t do anything wrong. And anyway, fufu, you’re talking like you’re fine too. Aren’t you gonna be not forgiven too this time? What will you do then? Start biting yourself? Fufu, that’s hilarious. I want to watch.

Kotoko: ……you’re good at provoking people. I’ll pray that you won’t be forgiven this time. When that time comes, I’ll be sure to crush you.

All the way to the person she did the most harm to coming up to her without issue. Despite in Love is (Un)Dead Mahiru jumping at Es just touching her,

Mahiru! "...!! Stop it!" ...! " ...! A... Ah- I-I I'm sorry... ... If you touch me so suddenly, it makes me remember... How it hurt... And I get scared."

If you touch me suddenly guard that reminds me of getting hurt but going up to Kotoko the one who hurt me well that's totally fine. It's been long enough for me to get over the trauma of being jumped unprompted by her. In fact I'm not even upset or angry about that at all. I think she had her reasons.

I'm not holding a grudge because,

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko?

Mahiru: At the very least, I don’t blame her for it. She acted for the sake of an ideal she can’t concede on.

So of course she has no issue going up to Kotoko to wish her a happy birthday. All by herself. She's not afraid of what Kotoko could do even while she's having trouble moving about and receiving treatment for the injuries Kotoko gave her just last intermission. Because her and Kotoko are the same in that regard they both have something they can't concede on she understands her and just wants to wish her a happy birthday.

Meanwhile Kotoko expected Mahiru to complain about her behavior in the same way Mu had on her birthday this year.

She expected to be admonished. Not only because Mu did it but because she's guilty now. That's all she's been hearing. So, why would Mahiru be any different. Why wouldn't she be coming their to kick while she was already down?

Instead Mahiru came to wish her a happy birthday.

Because that's how insignificant Kotoko's behavior was to everyone else there. They have bigger concerns than her throwing fits and now that they know she will they can prepare for that. Mahiru isn't mad, she didn't change drastically, she didn't come here to go I see what I did in the past was wrong and understand why you reacted that way I'm sorry.

Just like Haruka, Mu, and Mikoto she's going on like normal.

It must be so grating for Kotoko to see just how insignificant her "justice" is to everyone else in this prison. Literally no one cares. She did all that to instill fear in the hopes of making them see how their actions were wrong to punish them for being evil and unjust. Yet here we are.

No one in the prison has changed drastically, they didn't learn anything from her abuse, and none of them seem to be afraid of or even remotely concerned with her anymore. It really seems like she's starting to realize the only thing she accomplished through her attacks is displaying how much of an idiot she is.

Just like Yuno said,

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks?

Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

The people she beat up are now innocent. They've been acquitted given a slap on the wrist like all the bad guys she attacked in Harrow. While all the blame is back on her. Just like with the court case. It was easy to say it was self-defense at first but people kept looking into it statements got recanted and she began falling out of favor.

Possibly even getting kicked out of her university. Because people always want to see a bad person falling but they never want to feel like they caused it.

This may possibly be her worst case scenario. I mean all she wanted was to be drowning in the fact that she was right while everyone else here was wrong. Now as far as she knows they may all be innocent and the only person being told they're wrong here is her.

Play stupid games win stupid prizes I suppose but the least they could do is still be afraid of her, fear her authority as Es' helper, the idea that she did it once and could very well do it again. Nope. They simply don't care they're over it. They've moved on. Even the person she injured to the extent that she almost died isn't even afraid of her.

In fact it seems more like she feels bad for her. The only person to treat her as though she had any authority over trial two was Haruka and that was just so she wouldn't intervene with his plans. Everyone else has pretty much gone oh that's cute you think you have some power here.

They've treated her no different from them because to them she is no different in fact to some of them she's less than. Someone they'd never be friends with. Someone who just hasn't realized they're being taken advantage of yet. Someone pathetic who's only recourse will be beating themselves up once they're in the position they beat others for being in.

Then here's Mahiru offering yet another olive branch.

Just like Mikoto at the beginning of trial two who said I figured no one else would wish you happy birthday so I came to say it. That must be tough. No wonder the only way she could respond was by saying she was crazy. She must be crazy it's definitely not a clear example of her methods not working. Mahiru is just insane anyone else would fall in line or avoid her after being beat like that.

So, Mahiru must be uniquely terrible, stupid, or the punishment wasn't harsh enough. In the long run Kotoko may end up believing the punishments weren't harsh enough, that she shouldn't have held back due to trusting Es or not wanting to do too much too soon. Because that's how it is. People can't force each other to change no matter if they try to kindly or harshly.

The only time people change is when they are willing to. But it really does kind of seem like Mahiru is going to try to kill Kotoko as a way of paying Shidou back. Especially if he's been complaining about her to Mahiru as much as he has been to the audience.

Like it would not surprise me.

[vera-yaps]

genuinely its sickening

like i think im gonna take a break for a while from posting zero day content bc of what happened, out of respect for the ones affected. i’m still gonna be posting about it and im even working on a character analysis masterdoc and the script for a video essay i will be posting to my youtube, but for now i’ll focus on other fandoms i’m in.

to anyone in the TCC, bc i know some of yall see my stuff inevitably because of my zero day content:

i understand alot of you are younger than me by a good 7-10 years, so i’m gonna be nicer. obvi if ur my age or older pulling this shit then i’ll personally tell you to go to hell myself. but thats besides the point.

just stop for a second, take away any edginess you have that makes you think, “wow, school shooters are so hot” or whatever tf posesses you to think the way you do and post the way you post. imagine you’re that person’s sibling or cousin or whatever

their friend, their partner. imagine that kind of loss,

i havent ever been directly affected by gun violence but alot of people i know and love have been, as i grew up not 20 minutes away from a major school shooting that happened in the past 8 ish-10 years. that shit fucks with people. especially children. teenagers. think about what i said as far as what guns do to the human body. imagine living with the knowledge that that person you loved went through that. and having to hear the nasty details in court to even convict the piece of shit that killed your loved one. that is, if the piece of shit in question is still alive and didnt commit suicide to avoid ever taking accountability for your pain.

that shit takes years from your life. the friends i’ve had are still extremely affected to this day. and its been years.

now take all of that and put on top of that, media and the internet saying your loved one’s murderer, your loved one who tortured and brutally murdered your loved one is being thirsted over, has their own fandom and fanpage. exactly what they wanted: notoriety. attention. for their own loser, sickening, and cowardly actions.

you dont need to take this at all into account. i’m a random adult on the internet baked out of my mind 24/7 and im defo not one to take the moral high horse. just take some kind of compassion and give it to the victims families. and maybe re evaluate your way of thinking.

Let's talk about this.

I'm sorry for all the victims families for what happened.

We need to show some respect for the victims families. Have fucking common sense.

"But I'm on the tcc" I don't give a fuck if you are or not, showing respect is common sense.

You barely had respect for other shootings and now you are all doing the same. It's okay to be interested in the shooting, what's not okay is to not show respect.

Get out of your small edgy room and show some respect because of what happened. You all say "Oooh school shootings are amazing¡ Ooh" But if you were in one or one of your family members was there, you'll be fucking terrified.

If you ever feel like harming people or harming yourself. Please, look for help.

It's okay to have thoughts, but making them become reality is not normal. Hurting people, yourself or both is not okay. Please seek help.

I know lots of people are not able to look for help, maybe because of money or it's just difficult for them.

Then please talk to someone about it, there's so many people out there who can help you.

My heart goes for the victims families

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

wough weird sad feelings about my dad who could have expected that

[caravanlurker]

Hi I'm Lauren I'm new to this app, I'm just trying to make some friends. Can i be your friend?

Oh—sure! Cursory glance at your blog shows that we have a few interests in common. Who’re your top 3 Owl House characters?

[exopelagic]

I love my degree I love my department I love my uni

[fluoneia]

“this is dumb.” jinx mumbled. you grin, taking her hand in yours.

“it’s not!” you exclaim, dragging her into the open space. classical music played through the speaker, although buffered and a little distorted, still able to make out it was a slow song.

“i’m not.. slow dancing!” jinx huffs, crossing her arms on her chest. “i don’t even know how!”

“this is a staple in date night. couples slow dance!”

“not this couple.” jinx makes a hmph! sound, tilting her head up. “i don’t dance.”

“come on, i’ve seen you dance when you’re creating your little gadgets.”

“they’re not gadgets, they’re bombs. that kill people?”

“gadgets, bombs, whatever.” you say with a tut of your tongue. “come on! it’s just us. i’m not gonna judge you.”

“but you’ll make fun of me!”

“teasing you is just what i do.” you’d shrug. jinx groans in annoyance, moving to stomp away, before you grab her wrist. “come. i’ll teach you.”

jinx narrows her eyes at you.

“come on.. for me?”

she is silent for a second. then she makes a dramatic groan of fake frustration and saunters back to you.

those stupid eyes of yours could make her do anything.

“this is not out of my own volition.”

“you’re here, aren’t you?”

jinx deadpans. “whatever.” she makes a tch sound with her lips. “how do i do this stupid dance?”

“there’s no right way,” you say simply. you guide her hands onto your waist, your arms sliding onto her shoulders, hooking them behind her neck.

“wha—!”

“just relax.” you say softly, soothingly. with an annoyed huff, she tightens her hands on your waist.

“follow what i do.” you say. without another word, you take a step to the side, hand grabbing onto her torso to guide her to do the same. “don’t overthink it.”

“well, i am. this is so stupid.”

“it’s romantic.” you tease, raising a brow. jinx frowns. “just follow me. alright?”

“yeah, yeah.” she says quietly.

slowly, but surely, she finds the rythm as you both take steps around the open space. and slowly, she begins to smile. enjoy it, as she figures out the steps as you and the music continue on.

she lets out a sigh of relief.

her arms slide over your waist, her arms wrapping around you.

“this is.. actually kind of nice.” jinx whispers.

“see?” you beam up at her. “told you.”

“you don’t have to ruin it by being a smartass.” she grumbled.

you both find silence after a while. you treasured moments like this with her— where she was truly herself, and not some made up persona zaun believes her to be.

she was soft in her heart. and she was yours. yours to hold, to dance to songs like this in eachothers solitude like nothing else mattered.

because nothing else did matter with her.

.. but, she was still jinx, after all.

she yelped as she stepped on the end of her own braid, stumbling to the side.

and, therefore, caused a series of events. she dragged you down with her as she fell, crashing into a box where her work-in-progress smoke bombs that still had a sensitive trigger.

your eyes widen.

“oh, shi—“

BOOM!

you coughed as smoke filled the room, the sounds of the smoke bombs exploding beside the both of you deafening out the music.

“i told you this was dumb!” jinx waves her hand in the air, coughing.

slowly, the smoke dissipated, and the music started to become louder once more.

you turn over, seeing jinx with powdered ash all over her face, exclaiming in frustration as she brushed off her clothes. her gaze turns to you with a huff.

“that’s it. we’re never dancing again.”

you’re silent for a second.

then, you laugh. and you keep laughing till your stomach hurts.

“what the hell are you laughing at, huh?!”

“oh..” you wipe your fake tears, “oh, just, i fucking love you so much.”

jinx feels her eyes widen. her breath catches in her throat.

“whatever, dumbass!” and her voice crack is just so damn cute as she pushes herself off the floor, stomping away from the scene. “this was dumb! i’m never doing any cheesy romantic stuff with you again!”

“hey, date night isn’t over!”

jinx pauses. she turns, blinking. “where the hell do you think i’m going right now? i’m getting our stupid damn food.”

and you laugh again.

“stop laughing! ugh!” she slaps her hands on her thighs as she storms back toward the kitchen. “stupid dancing! stupid music!”

she kicks the record player to stop.

oh, date night couldn’t have gone any better then you imagined.

for @16spades omg this request was so cute i couldn’t help myself

[theshadowrealmitself]

Last song: Tot Musica by Ado

Favorite Color(s): Blue and Green

Currently Watching: Bob’s Burgers (on the episode with the double date where they are not liking the other couple)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: I like my food spicy and savory, my desserts sweet, and my candy sour

Relationship Status: Single

Current Obsession(s): Star Trek (also just aliens in general), Spiderman, and Cult of the Lamb

No Pressure Tags!: @lenacraft @pandorasparad0x @warlock-pan-astronaut @emotional-fandom-soup @inkytrinket-irii @scientifically-fruity @fandomwandererer @marshthemarsh @the-sprog

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot

[luvyeni]

❛NO NUT NOVEMBER❜ ( s. jake )

p. sim jaeyun x fem!reader w. 2.5k+

— 𖦹 warnings. unprotected sex, name calling, dry humping, name calling

— 𖦹 ( making jakes life a living after he challenges himself with his friends in no nut november ) !

OCTOBER 31, 2023 —  THE NIGHT BEFORE !

“What would do if you had to give up sex for a month?” Heeseung asked, “Could you do it?”  Jay scoffed at the question. “You’re asking Jake of all people.” Jake smirked shamelessly — “Me? I could definitely do it, but my girl? No she would kill me if I didn’t give her what she wants.”

And he wasn’t wrong, you and jake were known as the couple who was still in their honeymoon phase — couldn’t keep your hands off each other. “Don’t blame just yn, you both are two nymphomaniac, neither of you could do it.” Sunghoon said. “You wanna bet?”

“You guys want to make this a competition?” Heeseung said. “Who ever wins, the losers have to all pitch in and buys the winner the newest game system.” Jake eyes widened, he couldn’t past this up — but you were gonna kill him, you weren’t gonna be happy. “Fine I can’t wait to get a new game.” Heeseung said, jake scoffed. “Please you’re gonna be jerking off by 1 o’clock.” He stood up.

“Where are you going jake?” Jay said, he checked the time, 8 o’clock. “Where do you think I still have 4 hours, i’m going home to fuck my girl then beg for her not to kill me.”

“Fuck!” You screamed as jake slammed into your sopping cunt, your ankle digging into his back. “Jake i’m cumming!” You moaned, “I’m cumming!” He grunted, fucking into you, soon his warm load was spilling into your cunt. “Fuck baby you feel so good.” He sighed, slipping out of you. “Fuck baby I love your pussy so much.”

He got up to get a rag to clean you off — leaving you to ponder, this sex felt different, like it felt like the sex you’d have have when he was sorry for something. You watched him clean you up, helping you into a pair of his underwear along with his shirt. “What did you do?” Sat up.

He laid down next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. “Well you what No Nut November is right?” Of course you weren’t stupid, you just didn’t think your boyfriend was stupid enough to do something like that — but the look on his face made you think other wise.

“Jake no.” You whined, “i’m sorry baby.” He said. “Why would you even agree to do something like that?” You tried to make sense of it. “A new game system.” He said, you stared blankly at him. “I’ll go buy you the game system now, go get my computer.” You said, he laughed. “No baby, you know I can’t allow you to do that, only I spend money in this relationship.”

“It’s just a month, I swear — besides I can still make you cum in other ways.” All though you love his fingers and his plumps lips — his cock just hit different. “Whenever you need me just need to sit that pretty ass on my face and I can give you what you want.” He smirked. “Or I can use my fingers if you like.” His hands traveled up your legs.

“Let’s go again.” He said, his cock hardening all over again. “No, i’m sleepy.” He whined, knowing you were just punishing him. “Baby please, it’s still 20 minutes left.” He said, but it fell on death ears. “Go jerk off.” You heard him huff, before you heard shuffling and him getting off the bed. “Have fun.” You smirked, you were gonna make him wish he never even thought about this stupid ass challenge.

NOVEMBER — WEEK ONE !

It had been about a week since jake basically put you on a no sex band — you both had been pretty busy with your own separate lives that week, so you were too tired to even think about sex at the end of the day.

But today you both had a day off — and you were definitely feeling needy. “Hi baby.” You walked into the living-room where jake was watching tv. He smiled as you climbed into his lap, his hands resting on your lower back. “Hey princess you okay.”

You nodded, running your hands through his hair. “Just a little bored.” You said, he completely missed what you were implying. “Yeah?” He sighed as you played with his soft locks. “You want to go out and do something?” You shook your head, he closed his eyes, you smirked at how easy your boyfriend was — you don’t even know why he chose to do this.

You began to place little kisses on his jaw, down to his neck. “Baby.” He warned, his breath shaky. “Baby, let’s calm down.” But of course you didn’t listen, jake felt his cock twitching in his jeans, he couldn’t go out like this, he had something to prove, but jesus you weren’t making it easy.

“Jakey i’m just getting myself off, you said I could use you if I needed.” You smirked, grinding down on his boner. “Y-yeah baby, but -fuck- just let me eat you then.” He groaned, but you didn’t answer, too busy trying to get yourself off.

He groaned as you rocked back and forth, your moans wrapping around his brain. “Jake!” You squealed. “Jakey i’m gonna cum.” He was fighting demons right now — trying his best not to lift you up and fuck you stupid on the couch. “Fuck i’m cumming!” You yelled, legs shaking as you came.

“Baby.” He whined, his cock was hard as a fucking rock — he was scared to even think a dirty thought cause he wasn’t sure that we wasn’t going to cum untouched. “You cannot do that, i’m not gonna make it if you’re like this.” He said. You smiled, sitting up kissing his cheek. “Just cause you did this to yourself doesn’t mean I should suffer should I?” you got off the couch.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his cock still hard. “Gonna shower, i’m all sticky and sweaty.” He groaned, throwing his head back against the couch.

You were not gonna make this easy for him at all.

NOVEMBER — WEEK TWO !

“Please.” You begged, but jake wasn’t letting up. “It’s just a shower.” You pouted, he couldn’t say no to that — but he knew you weren’t gonna just shower with him in peace. “baby I know where you’re going with this.”

“Please, just a shower, I swear.” He look into your puppy like eyes, he sighed — how was he so desperately wrapped around your fingers. “Fine, just a shower.” You nodded, grabbing his hand guiding you to your shared bedroom.

You undressed yourself — jakes eyes traveled across your body, your perky boobs on display, your plump ass on display as you turned on the water. “Come on.” He waited for you to step in before he followed, standing behind you. “Jesus princess this water is hot as hell.”

You smiled, turning around facing him, reaching up wrapping your arms around his shoulders, the water running down your body, in between your boobs — you weren’t even doing anything but his cock was already hardening, twitching against your stomach. “Shit baby, I don’t think I can be in here long, your pretty body is too distracting.”

“Why wont you just quit them?” Your hand traced up and down his abs — light grazing his cock, but it was enough to have him hissing. “it’s just a stupid game system.” You said, he groaned — he knew you’d be like this, but he fell right into your trap anyway. “It’s not just the game, it’s to prove I have self control.”

“You don’t and that’s why I love you.” You kissed his chest, he sighed. “Im so horny jakey.” You whined, he closed his eyes trying to calm down. “You want me to finger you princess?” He hoped that would calm you down, but you just whined, shaking your head. “Your fingers aren’t enough anymore, I need your cock.”

You grabbed the base of his cock. “B-baby.” He stuttered. “I need you inside me.” You prayed he’d let up and fuck you — you almost had him. “Please.”

Fuck he couldn’t, he had something to prove. “Baby im sorry.” He said, you pouted. “Just a little longer I swear.” You released his cock and he let out a groan. “You’re so mean.” You pouted, he smiled. “Don’t smile at me.” You said, folding your arms.

“You almost had me baby.” He kissed your forehead. “Now im gonna get out and let you finish your shower.” He said, stepping out wrapping his towel around his waist. “What about me, im still horny.”

“you said it yourself princess, my fingers aren’t enough anymore.” He teased, leaving the bathroom. You cursed, he won this time.

But you weren’t gonna let him win that easily…

NOVEMBER — FINAL WEEK !

“Fuck.” He groaned, looking at the numerous of photos and videos you decided to grace him with — he had to stay at his dorm this week, but that didn’t stop you from torturing him via messages. His cock was desperately trying to free itself from his jeans as he looked at a video that you sent of you rutting against his pillow.

“Fuck shes trying to kill me.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “The hell is wrong with you?” Jay said. “You’ve been groaning for the past hour, someone might think we’re in here doing something.” Jake couldn’t even laugh he was that turned on.

“It’s yn, she has not been easy on me these past couple weeks.” He said, jay laughed watching his friend stress out. “Yeah, haha make fun of me, how the hell are you not going through what i’m going through?” He and jay were the last ones standing with heeseung out the second week — claiming he’d just buy the game himself, and sunghoon who found himself giving up the night of jakes birthday party, with one of your friends.

“Because i’m not a sex crazed person and I can control myself.” Jay said, jake groaned once again. “I didn’t expect her to be like this.” He said looking at the the newest photo of you, your fingers stuffed in your soaking cunt. “Are you seriously looking at nudes of your girlfriend right now while i’m talking to you?” Jay said, face full of disgust, standing up. “Jesus at least wait until I leave the room.” He said.

“i’m not giving up that easy!” He yelled, grabbing a towel, cold showers were like his best friend as of lately.

He couldn’t wait until this dumb challenge was over.

NOVEMBER 30, 2023 11:57 !

‘Fuck you, you just had to go and win.’ ‘you actually beat me, you fucking asshole.’ ‘what games do you want?’

He smiled victoriously at the text messages from his friends. He checked the time, and he was just on time — he got up, going into your shared bedroom, you were so unaware, watching the tv not paying attention to the time, like he had for the entire day.

“I won.” He said, finally gaining your attention. “Huh?” You turned to him confused. “What are you talking about?” You were laughing, but the way you had teased jake almost every day this month, you soon weren’t about to be. “I won the game, jay lasted until a few minutes ago.”

You checked the time, your heart sank — it was now midnight, December 1 — you were starting to regret doin everything you did during the month. “Jake.”

Before you could say anything else his lips were crashing into yours. He messily kissed you, trying to get his shirt over his head. Once he did that, he pulled away his lips swollen and red, both of you breathless. “I was gonna be nice princess, but you haven’t been nice to me at all this months.” He rid himself of pants, climbing on the bed. “Jake I was needy and you were ignoring me.” You pouted, trying to find a way out of it.

“Yeah, so that means act like a slut?” He slapped your thigh, pushing them open. “So desperate to get off you even humped my pillow like a bitch in heat.” You moaned out, you missed this. “Couldn’t get wait, just had to cum.” He cupped your heat. “Your pussy is soaking through your panties.”

He practically ripped your panties off. “Even through all the teasing I was gonna treat my baby like this princess she use to be, but then earlier you decided to hump my thigh like a needy whore.” He manhandled you on to your stomach, lifting your hips up, putting a pillow down for comfort. “so now i’m gonna fuck you like a needy whore.”

This is all you wanted — for the entire month this is all you wanted, was for him to fuck you stupid. “Pl-please jakey.” You moaned, he slapped your ass. “Shut the fuck up.” He pumped his cock, groaning as he pressed his tip at your entrance. “Shut up and take my fucking cock.”

He slammed into you without easing in, you let out a scream of pleasure as his cock stretched out your cunt. “Fuck your pussy is so tight.” He had to calm himself down, he was so pent up he felt like he was gonna cum if he moved. “Missed it so much.”

You wiggled your hips impatiently. “J-jake please.” You whined, he slapped your ass. “Fuck.” He pulled out, slamming back in. “So fucking impatient.” He moved his hips. “Couldn’t even wait a second.” He grunted, gripping your hips as he roughly fucked into you. “Jake.”

He let out all his pent up frustrations on your poor cunt, pushing your back down into a a deeper arch — his cock hitting a new spot, you were gripping the pillows as he plowed into you. “That’s it, take my cock slut.” He grunted.

You felt yourself about to cum, your cunt tightening around his cock. “No baby, you don’t get to cum right now, fucking hold it.” He growled, you whined. “J-jake please.” You begged, tears welding in your eyes. “I said fucking hold it slut.”

He kept going, you could no longer hold it. “Jake!” You screamed, tear streaming down your eyes. “Cum, go a ahead and cum slut.” He slapped your ass once more, you screamed cumming around his cock. “That’s it cream my cock -fuck- i’m about about to cum inside your pussy.” He grunted, thrusting a few times. “Fuck!” He came with a moan, filling your cunt up with his cum.

He gave you a few second to compose yourself, before handling you back on your back. “I’m not done baby.” He grabbed the base of his cock, positioning it at your hole that was leaking with his cum, pushing himself back into your hole. “Jake, fuck!” You screamed.

“Gonna fuck you as many times as you teased me, gonna leave your pussy sore.”

©️LUVYENI

[loriache]

Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.  

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.  

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

[darnell-la]

𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗜𝗚 𝗗𝗢𝗚

pairing: the worst!logan howlett x younger generation!reader

warnings: Logan easing into the new world and generation, mention of Wade trying to get roommate!reader and Logan together, making a TikTok, sniffing, smut, etc.

note: “she don’t want no puppy! She wanna BIG dawg!”

———

Logan had thought living with Wade would be a bad idea. He belonged in his last universe with what he’s done. He brought himself down for years, mentally and physically, hoping the pain would stop. Thankfully, it finally had.

It’s been almost a year since Logan has lived with Wade and his younger roommate. The match seemed off when he first met her, but after the first hour, she knew why she and Wade were close friends.

The girl was in college, young, pretty, had a small job at the campus, and loved parties, and things that Wade did daily.

Logan had a small argument with y/n a couple of weeks ago after she gifted him an iPhone. She said he needed it to keep in touch with her and Wade. She also said he needed a bit of humor.

He had no idea what that meant until she made a TikTok for the man. The videos that came up on his page didn’t make sense to him, he he still laughed at them.

He had no idea what happened to himself, but sending memes to y/n every hour was a habit.

After sending y/n a TikTok video, he swiped and came across a sound that confused him.

The man in the video was lip-syncing a song as she showed his muscles. Logan gave a disgusting look at his phone, thinking the man looked ridiculous until he read the title.

“When she chose you because you’re height starts with a six and your weight starts with a two”

Logan sent the video to y/n, asking her what he meant by that. He didn’t know being a muscle-tall man was a trend.

“Logan, I’m in the room next to you, just come here!” Y/n shouted in her room, making him sigh loudly as he got off of the couch for the first time in what felt like days.

“I just wanted to know what he meant? Like is being big and tall a trend? Like, if that’s the case, then I’d be viral,” Logan used words that y/n and Wade ran him by.

“God, Logan — Do people your age question everything?” Y/n checked her phone and noticed what trend he sent her. She’s thought about this trend but with Logan in it. He fits it perfectly, but Wade would tease her if she’d ever brought it up.

“I’m just askin', Bub. Seemed stupid to me,” Logan shrugged his shoulders. “Because you haven’t tried it,” y/n defended her generation. “So, you’re into that stuff? God, y/n — Never knew you’d be one of those kids,”

“I do like it, and since you’re so boring, we’re gonna have you do it, so c’mere,” y/n stood up from her bed and placed her phone down on her desk after clicking the sound.

“Gotta take your shirt off for it,” y/n lied, but she knew he’d do it, even if he complained. “No fuckin’ way, bub,” Logan laughed as he turned around to go back to his sofa until she grabbed his arm softly.

“Please! You never do TikTok’s with me,” y/n fake cried, annoying him in an instant. “Ain’t takin’ my shirt off for no little girls online. I’d get, what’s it called? Canceled?” Logan said, making her laugh.

“Logan, you sound stupid as fuck. Take off the shirt — Unless you’re jealous they look better than you,” y/n shrugged her shoulders as she went back to her bed to sit down, acting like she didn’t care to get a reaction out of him.

“Bub, you know I look better than them, so stop the lyin,” Logan felt a bit upset at her words. Y/n ignored him for what felt like hours, so he sighed and gave up. “Swear to god, I’d Wade say some shit about this, I’ll kill him,”

Logan and y/n worked on the TikTok for an half hour, trying to get the right angle since he kept saying he didn’t look good enough.

Y/n never complained. Watching him walk through her door repeatedly, then editing the video in slow motion, made her stomach tingle.

At first, Logan felt uncomfortable. She could smell the young lady, but he didn’t want to say anything. He’d be a pervert if he did, so he kept quiet, thinking it would go away, but he knew her spot grew bigger.

“So, you think I’m a big dog?” Logan genuinely asked as y/n began to edit the TikTok video. “What makes you think that?” She asked; thinking she nailed her scared response, but Logan saw the quick stutter in her fingers as she typed on her phone.

“Just askin, bub,” Logan said before taking a small sniff. He was leaning on her doorway as she sat on her bed. He was so far., yet she smelt so close.

He cussed himself out in his head, upset that Wade had won this “you’ll like her eventually” argument. Logan swore she was too young, and even made her feel a bit bad.

He had thought y/n had moved on, maybe got over the thought of her having a chance with Wade’s new friend, but the smell she had, is making him go insane.

All she’s doing is making a TikTok. That’s it, but he can’t stop thinking about the spot she’s soaking in her panties. He felt nasty, but in a good way after a while. The lust was taking him over.

“You happy you’ve got your little video?” Logan asked as he kicked off of her dorm frame and walked towards her bed to sit next to her.

“Yes, finally,” she smiled at him before continuing her edit. Logan scanned the girl's body slowly, watching how spotty her breathing was, seeing goosebumps form on her arms, and watching her leg shake a bit.

“Is that so?” He asked as he placed his hand on her thigh. She’s always been a sweet bean to him, but he ignored it. He tried his best to prove Wade wrong, but she was hard to ignore, and Wade knew that. Wade knew y/n would bring something out in the grumpy old man.

“Mhm hm,” Y/n mumbled as she pushed the post on her phone. “Think it’ll get a lot of likes,” she looked to the side at Logan who was now closer than she thought.

“And why is that? I look good?” He asked her, eyes on her soft and pretty lips. “Uh, yeah — Think the viewers will like it,” she awkwardly smiled, feeling her heart raise.

“Think you liked it more than the viewers will,” Logan almost whispered. Y/n just noticed how his shirt was still off. Why was his shirt still off?

“Seen you repost that video, y/n. You’re not slick,” Logan spoke about the video he had sent her. “Think you were thinkin’ about me when you did it,” the man smirked.

“I- I was just reposting,” Y/n stuttered as his hand slowly cupped her chin. “Guess I’m not the big dog you’re lookin’ for them,” Logan faked sighing as he pulled his hand back.

Before he could turn around to get up, y/n grabbed his face and pulled him into a short but long kiss, hoping to get the best out of this one-time thing.

“Told you last you, you ain’t for me, baby,” Logan said, making y/n look down in embarrassment. “I know,” she said. “I lied — Was just goin’ through a little somethin,” Logan admitted before pulling her back into a kiss, this time rough.

Y/n gasped as he breathed into her mouth, sucking on her lips like he’d starved for days. “Lo,” y/n moaned low at the feeling of his pulling her into his rough kisses.

Logan decided to push Y/n down on her bed and lean over her, keeping their lips together. Y/n instantly wrapped her legs around the man, pulling him closer as he moved his hips, grinding on her to feel the pressure.

“Oh, fuck,” Logan groaned in between their kiss, feeling his cock leak already. “If I fuck you, Wade wins,” Logan pulled back from the girl, taking a look into her eyes. She thought the man would leave, get off of her and never speak to her again, until he assured her, he was staying.

“Fuck it — Can’t resist you anymore, baby,” Logan smashed his lips back onto the young lady's lips, kissing her roughly as he tugged on his jeans. All y/n had to do was pull up the gown she wore almost every day she was off of work when she was too lazy to dress up.

“Wait- We need a condom,” y/n leaned up, but Logan pushed her back down. “Oh, no we don’t. Your cunts leaking too much for me to not feel her,” Logan said. She was confused, not knowing how he knew she was wet until she thought to herself.

He’s a mutant. His only powers can’t be regeneration and speed.

“Fuck, I-“ y/n cut herself off, embarrassed at her pervy actions. He probably smells her all the time. “Caught red-handed,” Logan chuckled as he put his cock in hand.

“Always wet around the house. Teasin’ me and basically beggin’ for me every day. Wished I took you to my room when I first met you. Maybe by now, we’d have our little family,”

Logan pushed into the girl, giving her no time to think about what he had just said about a family.

She’s never thought of a family with Logan. It’s not he wasn’t father material, it’s the fact she’s only been thinking about him pleasing her, and pleasing her only.

“Fuck, that’s it,”

[thisischaostragic]

something i find very compelling about agatha is that for a self-protective character, she is surprisingly unconcerned with her own redemption. selfish villains usually try to make people see them as the hero, but after being persistently villainized and punished for things outside of her control (her mother trying to execute her, generally living through the witch trials, losing her lover and son bc of things tied their identities), agatha was essentially like — fine, you want a villain? i’ll give you a villain.

she knows that a large part of it is a performance and she lets people believe it because it’s the only thing that gives her control over bad things happening to her. salem seven wanna kill her? yeah, makes sense. every other witch hates her? yep, did that on purpose. nobody can hurt her more than she’s hurt herself.

and like, yeah, she’s still a villain and definitely having fun with it lol, but it really does seem to come from her realizing that nobody is ever gonna see her as anything else, anyway (except for rio, who she’s absolutely fucking terrified of, despite also being madly in love with her) (i would like them to get back together please and thank you)

and idk! there’s something really special to me about a queer person being like, actually, fuck you all, i’m going to be every bit of a menace you told me i was.

[astrronomemes]

HURT / COMFORT : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings for when your muse needs a little TLC. change & alter as needed.

THE HURT:

“Nah, it’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.”

“I don’t think I can walk that far... or at all.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need your help.”

“Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just—I’m just really tired.”

“I don’t need a break. I’m okay.”

“It was my fault. It was all my fault.”

“I think I need help.”

“So, I don’t think I’m dying, or anything, and it’s probably not that serious, but... I’m kinda bleeding. A lot.”

“Is the room spinning right now, or is that just me?”

“No, I’m okay, I just... I hit my head. Really hard. I’ll be okay, just give me a second.”

“I’m not sick! I’m fine!”

“No, I don’t think any of my bones are broken, or anything like that. Just bad bruises.”

“Yeah, but you should see the other guy.”

“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me.”

“I’ve got a headache.”

“Seriously, though, I’m fine! Stop making such a big deal out of it!”

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t need your help, and I definitely don’t need your pity. Fuck off.”

“Please tell me I don’t look as bad as I feel.”

“I think I’m running a fever.”

“So, what’s the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?”

“Stop fussing over me! I’m not a baby!”

“Can I stay with you tonight? I just... really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“No, I-I’m okay. It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

“I... can’t actually remember the last time I had something to eat.”

“You shouldn’t be here. You’ll get sick, too.”

THE COMFORT:

“Honey, have you been crying? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I think you’d better take a break.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You did everything you could.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m right here for you if you’ll just let me in.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don’t ever let yourself believe that there is.”

“You really don’t realize just how many people love you, do you?”

“If you’re not going to take care of yourself, at least let me do it for you!”

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”

“You’re not alone, baby. You never have been.”

“Let’s get you some food.”

“You’re dead on your feet, poor thing. Come on, you need some sleep.”

“Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”

“Tell me where it hurts.”

“How many times have I told you to be more careful?!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m right here, okay? I’m not gonna leave you. I’m never gonna leave you.”

“Oh, honey, you’re safe now. I promise. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Go ahead and take a shower. I’ll fix you something to eat.”

“What happened to you, baby?”

“I’ll kill that bastard. I’ll kill him for what he did to you.”

“You look like shit, man.”

“Whoa, whoa, take it easy! You got pretty banged up back there, and you don’t want to go making yourself worse.”

“I’m not trying to baby you. It’s called taking care of my friends.”

“Sweetheart, you’re burning up! Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?”

[rafesangelita]

rafe + mean!reader orgasm control

warnings: friends with benefits, mean!reader, dark!reader, orgasm control, degradation (i promise rafe loves it <3), orgasm denial, fluff (just a lil)

a/n: this is so evil your req is perfect bb!!

“please, just let me touch you.” you smiled wickedly, shaking your head as rafe shuddered underneath your gaze. “let you touch me? no fucking way.” he swallowed thickly, your laugh echoing in his ears. “look at yourself.” you tugged on the roots of rafe’s hair, making him examine himself in the mirror. “this is the big bad rafe cameron that everyone is so scared of? how pathetic.” you whispered the last part in his ear.

your eyes traveled down his reflection, his cock rock hard. “what do you think people would say if they saw you like this? so needy and desperate while i still have all my clothes on?” he looked up at you as you stood between his thighs. “beg for it.” you giggled at the way his jaw clenched, running a nail underneath his chin. “please, ‘wanna make you feel good.” his hands rested on the back of your thighs, kneading the flesh there.

“yeah? it looked like you wanted to make that touron feel good, too.” at the mention of the girl he had on his lap all night long, rafe groaned, meeting your stare. “that was stupid of me, i-” you shushed him, rolling your eyes. “i don’t care who you do, ‘cameron, we have a ‘no strings attached’ arrangement, remember?” rafe blinked, watching as you slowly pushed him down on your bed. you were by far his favorite view, his heart skipping a beat when you started pulling down the straps of your dress.

“you look so good like this.” his chest rose and fell as you traced the ridges of his muscles. rafe thought he’d die if he couldn’t cup you through your bra, the swells of your breasts making him run his tongue across his bottom lip. without warning, you wrapped a hand around his length, a groan tumbling from his throat. “oh, fuck,” you gripped him at the base, leaning down to take his lips in your own. rafe kissed you like a man starved, physically restraining himself from flipping both of you over so he could have his way with you.

“you’re killing me, y/n.” his eyebrows knitted together, mouth falling open in a silent moan. you picked up your speed, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. “good.” he half laughed, the smile dropping from his face when you ran your thumb over the head of his cock. “i’m not going to last long.” rafe shook his head, groaning to himself. “already?” you teased, the man in front of you shooting daggers in your direction.

you felt his hips stutter, his jaw going slack as his head rolled to the side. knowing rafe was on the edge of finishing, you pulled away, his body writhing with need. “no, no, no, why did you stop?” he sat up, panting for air. the look on his face was priceless. dark eyes, swollen lips, you couldn’t deny the way he made butterflies flutter in your tummy. letting your dress fall to the ground, rafe didn’t care anymore, too sexually frustrated to allow you to keep up your cruel ministrations.

a yelp left your lips when he pulled you on top of him only to roll you over and pin you beneath him. “you’re cute just as you are stupid.” you cooed, hand finding his length once again. “you know what’s going to happen?” rafe hummed, his head falling on your shoulder. “i’m gonna get you right on the edge again, ‘wait until you’re about to blow your load before i kick you out.” he knew you meant every word, having not been the first time you do this.

“you’re cruel, you know that?” he huffed out, pecking your temple. you tried to keep the flutter of your heart at bay, ultimately betraying yourself when you met his gaze. “maybe. but that’s why you keep crawling back for more.. literally.” rafe shut his eyes momentarily, the strokes of your hand sending a shiver down his spine. “please, please, please.” you kept a steady pace, making him look you in the eyes as he neared pure euphoria.

“your pretty face isn’t making this any easier for me.” rafe said through gritted teeth, welcoming the kisses you trailed across his chest. he knew when he felt you smile against his skin, you were going to kill him with your next words. “go home, rafe.” you pushed him softly, moving out from underneath him and settling in the comfort of your sheets. he blinked, the tension in his abdomen melting away into nothing.

even though this was torture for him, he loved every second of it. you were the only girl that didn’t give him what he wanted, and for that reason he found himself absolutely hooked. rafe kept his eyes trained on you as he got dressed, admiring your features before he opened your bedroom door. “i’ll be by tomorrow..” you hummed, turning away from him. “of course you are.”