#wow that was so much oversharing how embarrassing

[stevethehairington]

.

[amysgoblinhorde]

The Anti-JK Rowling: Praise for TJ Klune

I am going to overshare. I do not apologise for this.

Way back in the mid 1990s, I was I young girl in school and I was badly suffering the years of harassment and abuse by my peers and also by the grown ups who should have cared for me. I was told I brought it on myself by being weird, I was told I was an attention seeker (yes, and can't you hear me cry for help?) and it was actually the lip curling disdain of the teachers that broke me the most.

I began to feel like maybe I did deserve it. I must have been so unpleasant, so hideous a person that others could see me for what I was and the universe itself was punishing me. I developed Body Dysmorphic Disorder, I kept checking mirrors to see if I could glimpse the monster, mocking myself whenever I thought I looked normal.

Anyway. It all came to a head in my third year, when I became admittedly a bit of an edgelord. I sucked in the darkness and screamed it out.

I was sent to a hospital school. This was a little tiny class of mixed ages for children who needed extra help. It was better here, I made friends - but I also learned a dark lesson here that no child should have to -

There is an appropriate face for trauma.

And I didn't have it. I was not the cute cancer kid. I was not the brave smiling little trooper. I was told by some of the staff in the hospital school that I didn't really belong there, I should consider myself lucky. One teacher said that those of us who were there for mental health issues were weak, we had failed. If we were braver we would be in a normal school.

I would have been 11 when the first Harry Potter book came out, though I didn't read any until sixth form college. I wanted to know what the fuss was about, a movie was being made.

I thought they were fun, as many did. But I can't pretend it didn't hammer an extra nail into my heart as it yet again told me that there was an acceptable face for trauma and it was not mine.

Harry Potter. He was written to be a good looking lad, sporty. Tragically dead parents that he didn't remember anything about. Suffered abuse, but it didn't break him in any inconvenient way. He was a tragically brave little hero with his friends the impossibly clever poster girl (who incidentally was very pretty when she wanted to be) and the token dweeb who appears to have mostly be written to prop up the other two.

Then we have Neville. His story was genuinely heartbreaking and yes it was addressed, but not really. His horrors are not something we talk about. Let's not go there, let's treat it like a dark embarrassing secret. But what a brave lad he is, standing up to his friends! Not for, you know, visiting his brain damaged parents and living with his abusive grandmother. No, no, it's the friends he stands up to. Brave silly Neville. Not the hero, of course. But isn't he brave?

And at last we come to TJ Klune. I read The House in the Cerulean Sea only recently. And wow. I laughed and cried in equal measure.

As with Harry Potter, we have a collection of magical youths, learning to navigate their powers as they grow. But the differences are diamond sharp, the focus instead on all the right things while still being joyful, fantastic and often hilarious.

How can this brilliant man get it so right in such a simple way? It's obvious, when you think about it.

All traumatised children matter.

There is no right face of trauma, least of all on a child, but hey let's not leave out the grown ups. At 40 years of age I thought I knew this, but I must have kept my younger self in a little cell in my mind (ahhh but she's different, she was a monster. We don't talk about her ...).

I was David. And I was Lucy. Why is it so much easier to forgive myself when I see myself as a yeti?

Children will lash out. Forgive yourself that. Children can be little weirdos, little balls of chaos and anger. That's okay. And no child's suffering should be ignored in favour of another, no matter what they look like or what they have done.

No child should be expected to be a poster boy hero, and no child should be chastised if they do not perform trauma right.

So yeah ... Thanks for reading until the end. And thanks to TJ Klune for making a 40 year old woman feel so many things, the strangest of all being forgiveness and acceptance of her 13 year old self.

Also, Chauncey is handsome as crap.

[msfantasy-magic]

Time Traveller

Summary: a short on how Y/n travels back in time and meets her younger husband.

Ominis Gaunt x reader

Ominis would typically wish that he was anywhere else but here.

Tonight, however, is different. Tonight the Gaunt family is joined at the diner table by a special guest, who just so happens to be a ‘distant’ relative from the future. When she first step through the manor, she had explained she is a Gaunt by marriage only to non-other than Ominis himself. He found it incredibly difficult to fathom such a concept.

Yet here we are.

Sitting next to her, he can smell a faint whiff of her intoxicating perfume. One cannot possibly smell this delightful.

She is obviously not capable of maintaining a refined composure as she continues to fidget in her seat as she fiddles with the objects around her. She often starts rattling off random pieces of small talk to fill the awkward silence which she is clearly not use to.

Ominis can sense his mothers growing irritations with the woman’s insistent restlessness. Afraid of the poor woman was about to suffer his mothers wrath. He reaches his hand out, placing a firm palm on her arm. He was about to gently tell her to ease up. Only she quickly shuts her mouth after muttering her apologies.

This takes Ominis aback. How had she known what he was about to say?

Regardless, Ominis mother makes an excuse and departs the dining table that evening along with his father.

Bored Marvolo bids a good evening, retiring to his room leaving Ominis and Y/n alone at the dinner table together.

“I’m sorry- I’m just not use to this level of quite.” She says leaning towards the milky eyed boy. A small smile crosses his face. “You know how it is… we’ll actually I suppose you don’t yet.” She heaves a heavy as leans in bonking her head into his shoulder. “Dear Merlin- I miss you so much. It’s odd isn’t it? Missing you and yet you’re next to me.”

“I suppose we have a loving marriage then?” He asks with amusement.

“Oh wow… if you knew what you’re like in future… you’d understand why that question is so funny.” A small laugh escapes him, finding great difficulty in imagining himself in a love sick state.

Ominis sits back in his seat, unable to comprehend a happy life. For such a long time, Ominis had come to terms with the cards life had dealt him. He was incredibly glad to hear that life does get better. “Please… I know you cannot overshare but please, tell me if I am happy… truely happy?”

The woman snakes her comforting arms around his shoulders and brings him into a tender hold against her chest. He was about to protest at her intrusive hold until he was cut off as she hushes his thoughts and pats loving strokes down his head. “This is how I hold our children when they’re upset or sick. Sometimes this is how I hold you at night when you had a bad day at work.” A blush of embarrassment crossed his cheeks. Surely, he doesn’t have his wife hold him in such a childish manner. Turning her head she places a chaste kiss on his temple the way mothers do when leaving their children on platform 9 3/4.

She’s so loving, so maternal, so safe. Ominis feels utterly safe in her arms. Merlin- he never wants her to let go of him, but she does release him from her grasp.

Her touch recedes leaving him desperate for her hold once again.

“Ominis my love?” She calls for his attention cupping his jaw. “I am filled with such sorrow, seeing how your life was. Just remember it won’t be long.” She stands pulling away from Ominis. His skin feels cold at her absence.

A colourful swirl opens up in the living room, a portal opens calling for the woman to return. “Wait! Tell me how I win your heart.” Ominis asked with slight desperation filling his voice.

A soft giggles escapes her lips. “The very first moment I beheld you, my heart was irrevocably gone.”

She steps through the swirl and was surrounded by darkness, she continues her journey in the aimless direction until a hazy imagine appears becoming more discernible with each step.

A man stands before her, his arms held open, patiently waiting for her to return into his embrace. Ramming into the man, she holds him in great desperation. “Offt!” He grunts at the force of her embrace. “You were only gone a day my love.” Ominis coos running his fingers through her rich hair.

J“A day too long.” She whispers as she buries her face into his shirt.

[girlygguk]

hi lovey 🥺 this may make me sound delulu but i just wanted you to know. i discovered your writings last week (where have u been :( ) and i just wanted to say that your works have brought me so much comfort this week, reading them on my long commute to / from work and school, in between classes, or on breaks. they really made me feel less alone, and i see myself re-reading them so often for that comfort. and i’m obsessed with every single one. and you. there’s just something about touchy-feely bffs who are obliviously in love with each other that makes me go “🥺” and also “😔” bc when is is my turn. i’m so in love with jk it makes me sick. ANYWAYS i love you and your writings so much, i will always be right here waiting for your next work, no matter what it is. your words mean so much to someone. thank you for sharing your loveliness with us. we don’t deserve you. 💜

are you actually kidding.... i can’t do this right now. i am such a crybaby and things like this make me so emotional oh. my. goddd. i genuinely don’t know how to express my gratitude for messages like this without sounding like a broken record or overly gushy to the point it seems insincere, but you need to know how much i appreciate you. sososososo much baby. i’ve definitely been a debby deowwwner lately, and it’s all coming from a place of self-inferiority which i am well aware of 😭 but i'm working on it and i hope to stop being so negative in time to come <3

i think with my rise in activity and seeing e v e r y little message that comes through now, along w the increase in both insanely sweet and a few slightlyyy hurtful asks (okay i've only received two LMFAO but i don’t post those because i don’t think they need a platform 😭 and not because they expressed a negative opinion abt my work, but because they weren’t constructive in the slightest.. just pure pettiness lol 😭 i LOVE constructive feedback <3). anyway i feel like i’m in a more vulnerable state when it comes to what i put out because so many more people are viewing my work compared to the smaller community i was used to on wattpad or my early tumblr days, so i’ve gone a little soft 😭 but this. things like this. they make me so ungodly happy and giddy and emotional and thankful and grateful and horny. you are a literal angel on earth

i know EXACTLY what it’s like to find a fic that you truly enjoy, that makes you feel warm in your tummy while you’re reading it and if you can’t finish it in one go, you’re thinking about getting back to it while you’re doing your daily tasks. like that's truly one of the best feelings in the worldddd. byee i’m not saying thats necessarily the case for you with my work 😭 😭 but if it’s anything similar and something i put out made you feel that way like you don’t have to believe me but i HOPE you do when i say that my mission is accomplished. i am a (if i do say so myself) very joy-driven person and live for seeing people happy and the love i have for kind humans like you is beyond words. thank you so so much my darling i love you a whole damn lot

edit: oh! :D i just now realized you wrote "where have u been :(" not "where u have been :(" and i think i just might DIE! oh my god LMFAOOOOO? wow so basically it seems like i just dove into a whole sookfest about my self inferiority struggles and those two hate asksssss unprompted!!! oh my god LOLLLL!!!! wow literally kmnnnnn. oopsies i'm leaving it up, but just know i have identified my mistake and am very embarrassed <3 (and will learn absolutely nothing from this about running off on tangents and oversharing xx) love you!

[kimchokejin]

music tag games 🎶

doing another round up because i fell way behind on tag games due to my mental breakdown 🙃 thank you for tagging me!!! sorry for the long post feel free to just...not look at it

game #1: artist bingo

tagged by @lesovoj​​ 💘

rules: look at the bingo card of the person who tagged you, highlight the artists you have in common and then create your own

did not expect tongue out to be one of the default paint 3d stickers but it worked out!

i picked these from my top artists on lastfm for the past year but i took out bts and any artists that have been...disappointing me lately...

for anyone who wants to play!

game #2: first listens/watches

tagged by @summerwave​​ 💝

rules: list your favorite albums that you first listened to and your favorite shows/movies you first watched in 2022

albums

i did the grid this time!

Dawn FM by The Weeknd

Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers by Kendrick Lamar

blue water road by Kehlani

Juno (Deluxe) by Remi Wolf

Rachel@Fairyland by Rae Morris

Live by Joywave

Somewhere City by Origami Angel

Nymph by Shygirl

Tracy Chapman by Tracy Chapman

watches

not doing a grid for this one idk how to do that for tv/movie posters lol

Because This Is My First Life (2017) - Netflix

Heartstopper (2022) - Netflix

Our Flag Means Death (2022) - HBO Max

Encanto (2021) - Disney+

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) - Paramount+?

Fire Island (2022) - Hulu

Fight Club (1999)

What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim? (2018)* - Hulu

Sort Of (2021)* - HBO Max

*haven’t finished but i like it so far!

i don’t watch a lot of things so don’t take any of these recs too seriously haha

game #3: receiptify

tagged by @summerwave​ 💝

rules: just run your spotify or whatever you have to stream music through this thing: https://receiptify.herokuapp.com/

i guess most people just share last month but i have spotify and last.fm and i like to overshare data so you’re getting it all oops. spotify first

i’m pretty sure i only listened to #10 twice? but the rest make sense. where’s newjeans though i was definitely listening to them

oh wow that’s just embarrassing

now artists!

son lux is only on there because i listened to the everything everywhere all at once soundtrack and there were a lot of songs on it. and i only listened to youngboy’s album one time? but the rest is probably accurate

i listened to so much all time low before i heard about the jack barakat stuff :/

now genres!

i am also assuming escape room art pop and boom bap have something to do with the everything everywhere all at once soundtrack because i have no idea what those are

now...”stats”

sorry every time i just see random numbers without units i just think about this

anyway...now lastfm!

oh look at that an opportunity for me to plug the greng jai piece! if you want the ability to pretend you don’t have mental illness for 30 minutes this is the album for you

yeah so...indigo and i have developed a very special relationship over the past few weeks...like i said before i have been Going Through It™

okay so just to put this in perspective, rattlesnake was my second most listened to song during ALL of 2022. it came out in january of last year. indigo has only been out for TWO MONTHS. and still life is tied.

tagging in case any of these games interest you, no pressure: @courtthisdisaster​​, @cheekyquokka​​, @mutedstring​​, @joon-rkive​​, @sugaggukkie​​

[ninelivesastrology]

tw: coercive control, stalking, cyberstalking, sexual abuse, manipulation, abusive interracial relationships, sextortion, victim blaming, kink critical, misogynoir, racism, raceplay mention, abusive women, sex trafficking in reference to chattel slavery, smear campaign

I noticed this pattern of manipulation in my life from women that prey on me and the tactic is oversharing something embarrassing (whether it is true or not) just to create this false sense of closeness and trust just because you're both women. It's kind of like, "You tell me your secret and I'll tell you mine," and it's just off to me. You think you're meeting someone non judgmental and it's a set up because they're attempting to extract blind trust from you and with that trust comes information they will use against you before they "fall out" with you.

There are some women that just want to blackmail you and extort you and will do so on behalf of a man off shit that man told them. Like when people talk about rape apologists, accomplices, they usually mean other men. Nah. Not just them.

I think sometimes I'd rather be in a room full of stoic men than Chatty Kathy women because men are less volatile. And I know that sounds crazy, but it's not???

Men will literally use another woman to harm you sexually. She will be the one to deliver your laced drink or lace it herself.

That's why I don't really get close to other women, especially the oversharers because the most probable scenario is that they will overshare about you down the line and that's the least hurtful scenario. Least one.

I remember this yt girl literally tried to kick off our friendship by telling me and my pet rat that she shitted all herself in her boyfriend's car. I really think she was pressed to find out what my sexual kinks were because she would talk to me about how her bf would literally beat her up during sex, like showing me daro bruises and how much she loves it and it was really disturbing to me because my abuser (with a history of martial arts so he knew) had strangled me. I dunno, some shit is just ... Like you could kill someone.

Liks when her boyfriend cheated on her (which is something to be expected I guess), she got crazy attached to this one guy in the Marines and she told me she wanted him to make her lick his dirty boots which is... No comment, not surprised. Like... wow. Well, that was the same person who told me people were saying I was into raceplay. Because it just looks bad if my abuser constantly says slurs more than anyone else I know, so it has to be twisted into some type of degradation I initiated, absolving him of all blame.

So anyway, I found out this yt girl was BFFs with the girl my abuser was cheating on me with while I was falsely imprisoned by him at his house and constantly begging to leave me alone. To this day, I believe they were trying to get me to admit to things so that my abuser could use the, "It's just a kink!" excuse because he was terrified of me coming forward (I mean I wasn't going to, but all the pre-emptive attempts to know what i was doing...?) and that's even more racially charged considering the whole "Black women can't be raped because they're literally succubi" belief that goes around.

Like I remember getting a new Iphone 6 months after he stole my SIM card and gave it to his portable toilet sidebitch and I logged into my [hacked] TikTok and my FYP was filled with posts about "somnophilia" and "CNC" like deadass trying to frame me as if I was into these things and rewriting the entire history so the sadistic sexual things he did to me seemed consensual. This was the 2021-2022 TikTok algorithmic. These are all his fantasies. I believe the raceplay shit was his, too, because he treats me like a runaway slave instead of a person trying to move on.

And I said it before, but I was undiagnosed chronically ill and would sleep for hours like... Like I genuinely think all of this shit unfolded because my pet rat told him I was going through his computer and he was terrified. It just lines up with me asking him why he liked a specific type of sex and he was like, "It's taboo," no further comment like I just see that shit differently now like oh... Multiple.

Like a part of systematic racism is how Black women are punished more harshly and sex is indeed social, so social punishments are harsher, so the truth is that in regards to sexuality, it will be exaggerated, you will be projected onto, you will be violated. Black females are never victims to begin with, so someone could coerce you into doing something and you'll be blamed for it. We are not allowed to be liberated sexually because us being sex trafficked in slavery was the norm.

So I genuinely think the raceplay projection was to also isolate me from any genuine and sexually compatible partners because that is some gross niche shit that could invite white partners who would abuse me if I didn't know this shit was being said about me. And this is the part where I add that my abuser was into MFM threesomes, so I dunno.

I think he wanted to spite me because I left him and was with a person who was biracial and white-passing, like has a European ancestry. It just feels like my abuser was lunging at any reason that would paint me in a certain light when in reality, I wasn't socialized to date or even think of men, so when they approached me, I didn't have expectations or boundaries. It was never about yt boi of the month. The closest thing I got was those Sarah Dessen books.

I dunno, he was always very threatened by European white men and Iearned he fascinated with Black people having sex and I think it was because these men are often believed to have larger dicks than him, it's really sad how someone's insecurities can just fuel an abusive interracial relationship. And of course I was the punching bag for it all. What is that quote? About how men love other men?

And I wanna say I think people forget that the European standard of beauty for men was shoved down our throats, too. Even the phrase, "big white cock" being yelled at me is like proof that he watched so much porn. Too much porn.

[tobuo]

not personally over 30 but I know plenty of people who only felt like they really got going at around age 40 and are still loving life with no regrets to this day in their 60s and 70s, there's a pervasive idea that we need to accomplish as much as we can as soon as possible but that just leads to burnout and dissatisfaction later.

also idk if this helps but I think having an online shop is an accomplishment when myself and many other people never manage to get things like that off the ground

this is definitely a mindset i try to have but one that is hard to believe at times so 🥺 thank u for the reminder. i’ve chatted about it before in therapy about how suffocating society’s ideas of “milestones” and “age” is, but yeah it’s….. hard to escape at times

thank u tho. i think i need to remember that about my shop more, i am one of those who tends to compare themselves a lot to other ppl so i always end up looking at it like “oh i didn’t get many sales this month” instead of “wow i’ve had lots of sales before”

ANYWAY DHSHSH embarrassing oversharing over i love u nonnie thank u

[nerafris]

You’re sweet

I feel embarrassed because I have no idea what are you talking about, I had to search for every single game :(

…but the first scenario on wow seems hilarious if you want to piss off someone :p

Why do I have the impression that you are toxic towards people on multiplayer games? and if you don’t win you blame your teammates ahahah

I searched for MMO and couldn’t find anything, I’m sorry but what is even that :(

Unravel Two seems SO CUTE I might try

You should try Morocco Mint & Spices from Lipton or Masala Chai (made by yourself). They are quite good.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. And tbh I don’t think it’s your fault. But I do hope that every time you look in the mirror, you fall in love a little bit more with yourself every day and recognize the bravery, strength, and beauty that you possess. I also hope you find serenity to calm your heart and reduce your anxiety.

No need to be embarassed, there's such a huge variety of games that it's very easy to not intersect with a lot of them. Actually most people i know generally don't play any games i do and vice-versa. Actually your impression could not be more wrong :P I don't think i've been toxic to a single person in a multiplayer game in easily 15 years. There's very few things i hate more than it actually. Being mean to anyone, especially a stranger, for any reason whatsoever is completely unacceptable imo. Not only does it serve no purpose (i strongly dislike inefficiency (which is funny cause my brain is like the most inefficient thing ever but i digress)), but it also just specifically only harms people, and you never know what someone is going through, an offhand comment can have devastating consequences. If i witness someone i personally know being toxic to someone over a fricken video game, i will always instantly bring that to their attention and try to make them understand that it's extremely uncool behavior. I understand venting but there's infinitely better ways for it. If i participate in something and it fails i will always take responsibility and blame, usually way more than my share of it was but that's how i've been conditioned (my mistakes are the only things i can act on, so it only makes sense to only focus on those, and that then usually results in a magnified perception of said mistakes). This includes but isn't limited to team based games :3 MMO is a genre, the most famous example in it would probably be World of Warcraft. The genre isn't really that popular anymore, it kinda has too many issues to really work nowadays, but i love them ^^ Unravel Two is adorable and so much fun. You could check out the first one since that's a solo game, whereas the 2nd is definitely more fun with a fren :3 I'd love to try your recommendations but i'm doubtful i'd be able to get my hands on the lipton one. Eastern Europe and not being part of EU means fewer global products are available, and shipping is an insane pain in the butt. Masala Chai sounds doable so we'll try. I appreciate the kind words, and like i said, i'm trying to work through my stuff but it's rough and honestly feels kinda hopeless. I trust that gives some insight as to the hesitance for getting involved with someone. That's a lotta text, too much? Idk if i'm oversharing atp.

[qvietspvce]

t diaries update time! (aka parker overshares about my body on the internet. okay this week i’m discussing body hair and genital changes so skip it if you’re squeamish i guess)

i know i said i’d log my pre-surgery preparations too so i’ll make a note to write something down tomorrow about that

not a whole lot of change over the last week or so. i did suddenly become VERY aware of how much body hair i have. like wow. so much hair. the hair on my thighs is definitely a lot darker and coarser now. my happy trail is trying bless it and my underarm hair is as always my favourite body hair because it’s just there being excellent.

facial hair is still vaguely fuzzy. i do have the worlds saddest moustache (if i let it grow, but i just shave it off every third/fourth day because it’s just so small and wispy).

and uh oh boy my clit has definitely changed. it’s definitely way more prominent than it ever has been and uh, it definitely gets noticeably erect now? (idk why i feel so embarrassed, it’s just my body and most beings with clits will attest to the fact that they do get engorged/erect with increased blood flow) so that’s fun.

[1111jenx]

random astro placements &

their culture 🕊🏪🕊

(part 4)

astro culture series, part I — part II — part III

i'm back at it again with my weekly roast series but this time i wanna make it educational like my notes this time >:) enjoy luvs

🕊libra rising culture is looking at your friend dead in the eyes and telling them "i look more attractive in person right my photos online don't do me justice hahahahahahahaahhahahaah" and y'all would keep staring until that friend agrees like ihy💀

🕊scorpio placements culture is telling people what do you mean i'm secretive i literally overshared so much remember that one time i told you i love chinese food? i never told anyone that.

🕊virgo rising culture is obsessively psychoanalyzing every person you meet and accidentally saying it out loud like oH tHaTs WhY you're like that

🕊mars in 5h culture is saying "guys i can not do this today xoxo 😚"when your friends want to play never have i ever as a drinking game💀

🕊gemini mercury culture is everyone stealing your sense of humour so you don't know to either feel mad or superior🥳

🕊mars in 11H culture is having a STRONG sense of right and wrong but you're so supportive of your friends no matter what. the type to give their friends an hour lecture on why they should not date that crusty fishboy but end your speech with ".... and thats what i think but if you really wanna do it then go for it i guess just know the consequences and let me know if you're bout to be stupid mkay?"😃 like naw ion wanna be responsible for any of ur decision dear

🕊cancer rising culture is yelling at your s/o something along the line of "if you really wanted to talk to me. even though i blocked you on every possible platforms, my email was still open you just didn't care enough" i-

🕊gemini mars culture is making intense eyecontact with your friend and tell them with a serious voice like "no i don't do salad."

🕊7H stellium culture is waking up and choose to know everyones business. y'all keep making fun of 3H stellium but they be talking about anything but your dumbass. it's 7H stellium that has infos which would royally fuck you up<3

🕊moon in 5H culture is emotionally connecting with your one-night-stand.

🕊chart ruler in 7H culture is screaming IM UNLOVABLE every hour but leave 20 people on read how does that even work ma'am 🤣

🕊virgo rising culture is blasting the weeknd music and sit in your cozy home by yourself cause this is rare as hell and its one of the few moments when you don't have to worry about anything or anyone. also turning your phone into no disturb mode so no chaotic friends can reach you you're on time-out sir

🕊9H venus culture is your friends physically having to stop you when you talk about that one person way too much and ask you bro do you like that person or smth why are you talking abt them? and you just go like oh fuck. i do. i do like them.

🕊virgo rising culture is getting second hand embarrassment from your drunkass friends in public like uh yeah i guess they're my friends you can call us that i think my responsibilities now ahahahahhahaahhahah💀💀

🕊capricorn moon culture is playing hard to get or simp so hard you make your future self uncomfortable no in between.

🕊6H moon culture is having random icks like someone would say "its lit" and it would get to you and you'd have to head out cause you feel cringed sksksk

🕊venus in 1H culture is brainstorming about your kids names and start planning the wedding after one month of dating 😄

🕊aquarius mercury culture is using all the power you have left in your body not to say "respecfully can you shut the fk up😀" to someone cause you're running out of patience.

🕊libra venus culture is having sex with night changes by One Direction playing in the background.

🕊sun square ascendant culture is secretly loving reckless people. like wow you wanna jump off a plane and go swim with sharks with no prior knowledge? thats hot🥵

🕊gemini moon culture is overthinking in the most random moments like y'all deadass would be giving your puppy a bath and you would start talking to your dog like oh wait i just remember that one time when my partner did that thats kinda sus does that mean he doesn't think i'm attractive anymore omg what if i-💀

🕊2H venus culture is listening to lana del rey when you're 12 and you're just like wow money power oLd mEn and sex i relate to that wow. no babygurl. no you don't.

🕊aries placements culture is loving optimistic people, like you vibe so well with crackheads muahz🤎

🕊water venus culture is actually believing in love is sufferings like no rachael, that one guy calling you a cünt before telling you you're his soulmate is not it💀 stop thinking that pain and love come hand in hand istg

🕊fire venus culture is knowing you're superior and thinking you're all that just to hold someones hands during sex and saying ily during the deeds😄so much for thinking y'all are tough huh

🕊leo rising culture is staring at that one girl who's throwing up infront of everyone and thinking to yourself oh thank you dear lord thank god thats not my dumbass

🕊venus in 12H culture is going 👁👄👁 as your s/o is in tears screaming what do you mean you need some space for youself? we've been dating for 4 years wtf

🕊leo venus culture is staring at yourself in the mirror a lil too long like oh what would i do without this face🥵

🕊leo venus culture is blowing things out of proportion and your excuse is "i only do it because i care okay" ok.

🕊libra placements culture is mentally taking 3 deep breaths every time someone thinks they can use your indecisiveness to their advantage

🕊pisces placements culture is looking like anime characters. don't even try changing my mind.

🕊gemini/aries/aquarius/sagittarius mercury culture is people asking are you alright every-time you stay quiet for a good 5 minute

🕊fire MC culture is working on 19837292 projects and the second you see something cool you're just like okay i can take on one more why not😄

🕊4H placements culture is the sexual tensions between you and that one person that keeps telling you how you have a chart of a serial killer like oh yeah? you're up next bbygurl

🕊leo placements culture is having no chill. raise your voice at me again and i'll tell you whats up😀

🕊also leo placements culture is knowing how superficial you can be like did you just call me pretty and funny? aight i like you now the bar is in hell🥰

🕊venus in 11H culture is constantly imagining what if you end up dating your bestfriend like do you even know what platonic friendship is💀

🕊pluto in 3H culture is falling in love with that person who degrade you the right way like why do you guys like when others are mean to you are you okay😀?!?!

🕊sagittarius moon culture is feeling guilty for the most random thing ever like how does it go from "aw i feel so bad that you broke your arms" to "guys i'm crying i can't believe ice is melting and all those little penguins have no where to stay"

🕊virgo moon culture is enjoying sufferings a lil too much just because if y'all don't suffer you'd think something fishy is going on like omg i haven't overthink and cry in sometimes is everyone okay 🤨

🕊libra moon culture is standing up in god speed and say ight im just gonna head out when people start yelling💀💀💀

🕊moon in 7H culture is acting all tough and scary when you first meet them but show them a puppy or a cat and watch them start speaking in a babyvoice in the span of 5 minutes like excuse me are you bipolar or something LMFAO im jk

🕊capricorn moon culture is having a soft spot for crackheads. like wow i can't believe you'd confide in me enough to show me your most vulnerable moment aka when you're high asf on crack stay here i'll shelter you forever

So heres a very veryyyy short astro culture post hehe (comparing to the last posts ofc🤣)! I genuinely can't something I started during one of my insomnia moments got such positive feedbacks from yall!!

Thank you guys for being so supportive hehe leave a comment or say something cute before y'all leave;)

love,

saint jenx🍸

[triplexdoublex]

Pornstar

Pairings: Colson x Reader

Warnings/Tags: rough sex, anal sex, face fucking, gagging, spit, spitting in mouth, slight bondange, golden showers, pissing in mouth, slapping across face, being filmed.

A/N: Shout out to Shawnie ( @heytheregreeneyes) for always letting me use her as my OC and being my best friend. Also Colson isn’t MGK in this, just a pornstar so his personality isn’t as cocky as he usually is. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the sex in this is loosely based off my fave porn star Small Hands AKA Aaron Thompson. Hope this was worth the wait. Lemme know what you think! “Open it, open it!” Your roommate and best friend Shawnie stood before you with a gift bag in hand, shaking it excitedly.

“My birthday’s not even until this weekend,” You laughed taking the bag from her. “You sure you don’t want me to wait? It’s only a few more days.”

“ No please, I’ve kept this a secret for long enough, it’s killing me! Just open it!” She exclaimed. “Plus your gonna need time to prepare.”

“Prepare?” 

“C’mom, just open it, open it, open it!!!” She was far too excited. You wondered what it could be that she was so eager to give you. But what you pulled out of the bag just left you with even more questions. 

“Thanks???” You said confused, holding up a sexy red lace bra and matching g- string that tied at hips. 

“That’s only part of it,” she assured you. “What’s your biggest wish?” She tried to clue you in.

“Ummm paying off all my student debt?” You answered still puzzled. “Did you get me a job as a stripper?” You laughed.

“Okay, maybe ‘wish’ was the wrong word to use … hmmm—oh biggest fantasy!” She corrected herself. 

“Oh to fuck my favorite porn star Huge Hands, AKA Colson Baker. You know that — wait … no, no way!”  You exclaimed as your friend started frantically nodding her head yes. “Shut up!!! What? You’re kidding. Like how?”

“Look in the bag . There’s more!” 

You reached into the bag and pulled out a pass of some kind and read it aloud. “Huge Hands/Colson Baker : Exclusive Access, Porn Star for a Day pass” 

“They were super limited, I have no clue how I managed to snag one, but I’m so happy I did! The look on your face right now is priceless!” Shawnie laughed. “It’s probably because you’re the only one I know who’s  crazy enough to actually go through with this.”

“I-I don’t even know what to say. I have no words… thank you.” You expressed your gratitude, still in shock. “I’m really about to have the best sex of my life this weekend! On my birthday yet! Have you seen his fucking cock, it’s huuuge!”

“Yes, many times,” Shawnie chuckled , entertained by how pumped you are. “Or did you forget about all the links of his umm ‘work’ you’ve sent me?” Shawnie wasn’t big on porn herself but she was always willing to take an interest in your latest obsessions, no matter what they were. That’s what you loved most about her. “Turn it over, it tells you more about what’s included on the back.”

You did as she suggested, turning the pass over to read more. “Half hour zoom call day before to privately discuss details, and needs/wants of scene; hair and make up; up to one hour of shooting time; and keepsake autographed DVD recording,” you listed off. “You know I’m gonna watch that everyday for the rest of my life, right?” 

“I’m assuming you’re gonna make me watch it at least once too, knowing you,” Shawnie laughed. 

“Yeah probably,” you laughed as well. “ I got no shame!”

*************

You’re stomach was in knots as you waited for the zoom call to begin; you’d never felt so excited and  nervous at the same time. Shawnie was there with you sitting just out of frame, when the ‘bloop’ of the call came through your computer's speakers. 

“Hi, Y/N?” Colson questioned.

“Yeah, hi. That’s me!” You did a timid little wave.

“Ok good, just wanted to make sure I got the right person before we get started here. Imagine that … Awkward!,” he laughed, and you instantly began to relax; you could tell he was going to be easy to talk to. “Well, obviously you know what I do , but I’d love to hear a little about you. Says here on your forms you’re a college student?”

“Wait, what forms?” You asked.

“The ones you filled out online with your info and kinks and things you wanted to include in our video when you purchased the Pornstar for a day package,” he answers slightly confused. 

“Ohhh, my friend bought me this for my birthday, she must have filled them out.” You responded. “She’s right here. Say hi Shawnie!”

“Hi!” She giggled leaning into frame. 

“Hello. Wow this must be some “friendship” he joked making air quotes. “Because this is a very detailed list. You gotta hear this.” He smirks. “Written in the section about what you hope to include in our scene says— and  I quote: I want Huge Hands/ Colson to absolutely destroy me. I want him to fuck my throat, my pussy and my ass. I want him to slap me around, and spit and piss in my mouth, and anything else he wants to do to me, I’m all for it.”  He choked out a laugh pulling dramatically at the collar of his shirt “Whew, I’m the pornstar here and that’s even got me blushing!”

“Oh my God, Shawnie!” You covered your beet red face.

“What!?, did I lie?” She laughed.

“I mean no, but still. Damn, to hear it out loud like that.” Your eyes bulged. 

“So it’s true then?” Colson asked slyly.

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” you hid your smile behind your hand, shaking your head in embarrassed disbelief.

“Aye,  no need to be embarrassed, we’re gonna have fun tomorrow, I can tell,” he smiled. “I’m especially excited that your interested in Anal. It’s kinda my favorite. I’m assuming you’ve done it before?” 

“Yeah,” you answered simply.

“Do you enjoy it?” He asked.

“Tell him what your ex said!”  Shawnie blurted out. 

“Oh, boy. I gotta hear this,” he chuckled. “What’d the ex say?”

You inhaled deeply before speaking, “I do enjoy it, probably more than regular sex, if I’m being honest,” you admitted. There was no use trying to be coy now. “Uhhh he actually said I could be a pornstar since I can take a hard anal pounding so well.” 

“Nice!” He exclaimed. “Girl, after my own heart.”

“Jesus Christ, this conversation has me sweating already,” you chuckled standing up to pull your cardigan off. 

“Is that a little tattoo I saw there, peaking out of the top of your jeans?” He asked. 

“Yeah, you wanna see?” You unzipped your jeans without waiting for a response and lowered the top of your underwear just enough to show him. 

“ The Playboy bunny, huh? How fitting,” he teased.

“What can I say, it was my first tattoo,” you giggled “Seemed like that’s what everyone was getting at the time.”

“What else you got going on down there?” He lifted his head as if trying to see more. “Is that a landing strip?” He asked referring to the thin dark stripe of short curls just  barely visible above the band of your lowered underwear. “Can I see?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you lowered them further exposing yourself, your inhibition long gone at that point. “This is just how I normally like to groom. I can shave it completely if you prefer?” 

“Nah, it’s perfect,” he smiled. “Well, I think I have a pretty good idea now of what you like and what we’ll be getting ourselves into tomorrow. Do you have any questions or anything else you want me to know, before we end the call?” 

“I don’t think so,” you said. “Shawnie pretty much laid it all out on those forms,” you laughed. 

“That she did!” He produced a chuckle as well. “I meant to ask earlier, but, since she knows so much about your kinks and what not, have you two ever —“

“ No, just best friends, I tend to overshare, I guess.” 

“Yeah it amazes me sometimes, the things women  share with their friends, but yet guys are always the ones who are known to kiss and tell and brag about their conquests. Females can be just as bad, y’all just keep it on the low a little better,” he stated. “Well, I look forward to working with you tomorrow. Take care, and I’ll see you soon.”

“Can’t wait!” You responded. “Bye.”

“Bye,”

You felt oddly comforted and at ease after the call, no longer a ball of nerves or embarrassment. He made you feel like there was no shame in enjoying the things you did. He was very professional despite the nature of the call; it didn’t feel sleezy or overly salacious; just two consenting adults having a mature conversation about their sexual desires. 

*************************

When you walked out of hair and make-up and onto set, you saw Colson waiting for you on a red leather couch. He was clad in only black dress pants; shirtless — his tattoos on full display. He smiled seductively when he saw you, beckoning you over with a pat to his thighs. You undid your silk robe they had given you and let it slip from your shoulders to the floor, revealing the red lacy set Shawnie had bought you, as you made your way over to him. You suddenly became very aware of all the cameras and other people in the room, as you sat on his lap. Somehow it has slipped your mind that they were all a part of what went into this.

“You get used to it,” he said softly , remembering the way he felt his first time in front of the cameras. “Just pretend they’re not even there— only me and you, okay?” He said brushing a finger along your thigh. “Unless, Shawnie forgot to mention you’re an exhibitionist too, then by all means enjoy them watching us fuck,” he joked, making you laugh. “Don’t forget, if you need me to stop at anytime for any reason, just give me three quick taps,” he demonstrated, tapping your thigh. “Don’t worry about the filming, they can always edit and piece things back together if needed. This is all for you and I want you to enjoy yourself. Oh and happy birthday by the way! It’s today right?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

“Ok, so we’ll just start the scene with some kissing and light touches, and when I feel you’re ready I’ll signal the camera man, he’ll call action, and then we'll be recording.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded your head. He had made you feel so comfortable and relaxed the last bit of nervousness you chalked up to just being slightly star struck; You never thought in a million years you’d get this opportunity.

“Ready?,” he pressed his forehead to yours, staring directly into your eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up into the most alluring devilish grin. 

“Ready,” you echoed back, biting your lip trying to suppress a needy whine. God you were always such a sucker for his killer eye contact in his films, and now you were the one his eyes were soul fucking. You’re heart pounded with excited anticipation as Colson’s face drew nearer to your own. He lightly held your chin as he pressed his lips to yours, parting them to introduce his tongue. It was a welcome greeting, cut short by the breathy “oh fuck ” that involuntarily slipped from your lips.

“”You good?” He laughed softly, a small puff of air the only thing separating your mouths; your foreheads still touching. 

“More...than good,” you spoke in a short choppy sentence trying to compose yourself. 

“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked against your lips, continuing to kiss you. 

You melted into his kisses— slow and gentle at first,  increasing in intensity as he carried on. When he nipped at your bottom lip with a low groan, you lost all innocence, shifting positions to straddle his lap. You gripped the back of his head, as he kissed you and rolled your hips against him, demanding more. And that’s when he knew … that you were ready.  He quickly signaled to the cameraman with a thumbs up, and “Action” was called. 

His hand slipped down from your chin, settling on the highest part of your neck just under your jaw, his fingers squeezing at your pulse points on either side. Roughly he turned your head to the side with a push of his thumb and his mouth began mauling your neck with an appetite for lust, leaving blooming raspberry patches along the descending path of flesh that lead to your breasts. With one hand he expertly undid the front clasp of your red lace bra and took in the sight of you.

 “Perfect,” he whispered into your flesh with a growl, taking one breast  in each hand as he licked between them, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You slid the silky straps of your lingerie over your shoulders, letting it fall, as he took turns going back and forth between each breast treating each of your nipples to light suction and a pleasurable nibble. You let out a moan at his actions and again rolled your hips in his lap, pressing yourself against the hardening bulge inside his dress pants. “Needy are we?” He teased swiftly  spinning you around so your back was to his chest. He dug his chin into your shoulder peering over it as he snatched up the crotch of your panties roughly, tugging the material up between your lips . You canted your hips up chasing after the friction of the coarse fabric against your clit. “You like that, huh?” He pulled them harsher. 

“Mmmm, yes” you squeaked out, nodding your head.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” he growled nipping at your neck. “Look at this pretty pussy,” he shoved the material to the side exposing you, letting his fingers explore your folds as he pleased. “You want my cock right in here huh?” His voice was so gravelly and low as he slipped a finger inside you, only to quickly pull it back out, teasing you. “Taste yourself,” he brought the finger to your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, as he slid it further into your mouth, his long fingers slipping down the back of your throat. “Oh, god, yes!” He exclaimed impressed by how you didn’t even gag. “Tell ya what—“ he paused to add a second finger to your mouth, continuing to talk as you sucked “If you can suck my dick as good as that—“   he then pulled them back out of your mouth. “I might just have to fuck you right in here too,” he shoved his spit slicked fingers into your ass.

“Yes, fuck, please!” You whined, wiggling your hips, wanting his fingers deeper.  

“You like that? Huh. You dirty little anal whore!” He grabbed your neck with his free hand, keeping you pinned back against him, the fingers of his other hand still moving inside you.

“Yes, yes! I am,” you strained to speak. “Please, please fuck my ass!” You whined impatiently with pleasure. You never heard yourself sound so needy and desperate in your life.

“You sound you pretty when you beg, but you're gonna have to earn it first,” he demanded pulling out his fingers,  leaving you feeling empty. Quickly, you dropped to your knees in front of the couch as Colson got up standing before you. You waited impatiently while Colson unbuckled his belt above you. Once undone he yanked the belt free from the loops with a satisfying ‘whoosh’ that made you pulse between your thighs. You desperately clawed his pants and boxers  down his legs like a feral cat in heat as Colson brought the tip to your mouth, still holding onto his belt in the other. “Open!,” he demanded. “Goooood,” he growled in praise as you did what you were told. You reached up to grab it but ,“no hands!” he smacked them away, and then secured them behind your back with his belt. “Let’s try this again, open!” He spoke harshly. You obliged, opening wide. “Tongue” he barked.  You let it hang from your mouth with anticipation; eager breaths rolling down it like a panting dog eyeing a steak. He teased you, slapping his cock against your tongue before shoving it fully into your mouth. Your eyes prickled with tears as you fought your gag reflex, taking him down your throat. He held your head in place with one hand , the tip of your nose pressed flush against the coarse hair of his pelvis, as he hunched his body forward over yours untying the sides of your G-string. It slipped from your body leaving you completely nude. Colson smacked your ass, then gripped it harshly, making it jiggle for him before finally standing straight up and pulling his hips back to let you come up for air. 

“Huuuuuuhhhh,” you inhaled sharply gasping for breath, letting oxygen penetrate deep into your lungs before Colson stuffed your mouth again. Mascara ran down your hollowed out cheeks as you sucked. You started pulling back out of instinct when you began to gag but Colson held you in place. 

“No, keep it in your mouth,” he instructed condescendingly, looking down at you. “Just a little longer” he promised. You tried your best, Colson letting out a throaty moan every time your raw, used throat constricted around him as he fucked into it. “Mmmgghh,” he groaned, pulling out of your mouth “Goooood girl,” he praised with a smirk, before bending down to give you a sloppy kiss, swapping mouthfuls of saliva. Just as he pulled away he let a long string of collected spit slip from his pursed lips and into your open mouth, where you eagerly accepted it, moaning as you swallowed it down. 

 You let out a breathy “awhhh” as you opened your mouth again, wiggling your tongue enticingly. 

“Such a dirty, fucking whore,” he bent down again and spat directly in your face. He smeared it all over your face with his hand before grabbing you by the neck, pulling you to your feet. “Turn around,” he ordered. You did as he said and Colson undid his belt from around your wrists. Before you even had a chance to soothe your sore wrists with a rub, Colson spun you around and pushed you down onto your back on the couch, your ass teetering on the edge of the red leather cushion. “Spread yourself for me,” he instructed, as he pumped himself. Again you did as you were told; you pulled your legs up, wrapping an arm around each thigh, holding them back as you parted your opening with your fingers.  “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He teased the head of his cock through the glistening mess on display for him. 

“Fuck me,” you said in an inpatient huff, staring into his eyes. 

“Awhhh, yessss,” he groaned out, slack jawed as he sank into you

“Ohhh, shit,” you screamed out , face twisted in pleasure, your eyes slipping shut, at the feeling of him burying himself deep in your cunt.

“Open your eyes. Look at me!” He spoke harshly, cupping your face in his hands as he thrust. You opened your eyes, trying to focus on his, but your vision was  spotted by the intensity of it all. “Feel good?” He pressed his forehead to yours just as he’d done earlier , starring directly into the windows to your soul as he fucked you. You nodded the best you could, but that wasn’t good enough for him. “Words, I want words. Say yes!”

“Yes.. yes,” you responded breathily, biting at your lip.

“Yeah, Mmmghhh, that’s it. Fuck, I like it when you use your words”  he moaned , shifting himself to be more upright. He then spit on the tips of his fingers and brought them to your clit and began rubbing it furiously, his cock still destroying you.

“OH Fuck!” You cried out, wiggling and bucking your hips. 

“You gonna fucking stay still? He roughly grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks. You nodded your head, trying your best to calm your body’s erratic, pleasure driven movements as he thrust. “Words!” He spat, his hand letting go of your face only to connect it to your cheek again with a quick, yet harsh slap.

“Shit! ...Yes!” You corrected yourself once again, Your body was  loving how aggressive he was getting the longer he fucked you and he could tell;  spitting at and striking your face again.

“Turn over!”  He ordered, abruptly pulling out. “Hands on the back of the couch.” He roughly assisted you in turning around , and you placed your hands where instructed. You arched your back and pushed your ass out waiting for him to re enter you from the new position. “This is where you really want it, huh?” He teased his cock over your asshole. 

“Yes!,” you remembered to use your words this time.

“You’re a dirty little fucking anal whore, aren’t you? He asked, he question sounding a lot more like a statement. “Let me hear you said it.” He applied pressure to your hole with the tip, as he yanked back a fist full of your hair.

“I’m a dirty little fucking anal whore!,” you repeated desperately pushing back against him.

“Mmmghh!, That you are!” He confirmed with a groan, snapping hips hips forward, quickly entering you. 

“Uhhhhh, Oh my God!” You exclaimed at the feeling. You never fully understood why you enjoyed anal as much as you did, perhaps it was the pleasurable fullness, the taboo aspect, the fact that you were one of the few woman who were into it, or the way so many men were obsessed with it , and the look on their face when they found out you were more than willing to take it up the ass, but you absolutely loved it, and this time was no different. Every jack hammered thrust brought you closer and closer to the edge, especially when Colson reached around to between your legs adding the friction of his fingers to your clit. The sensation of your ass being stuffed combined with his  touch was the perfect recipe for orgasm and you felt it building every time his cock slid in and out. 

“Yeah, cum for me,” he could feel you tightening around him. His words perfectly in sync with the  jolt of pleasure boiling over in your abdomen and ripping through you with vast intensity. A series of explitives and sounds you’ve never heard yourself make, flew from you lips as your body went boneless under Colson. He quickly pulled out, turned you back over and came across your face with a few pumps of his hand. He collapsed to the side of you briefly, before tugging you off the couch and onto your knees. “I’m not done with you just yet,” he spoke out of breath taking his softening dick in his hand. Your eyes lit up, you knew what he was referring too— the only thing on your list of wants he hadn’t included yet. “Say ahhh!”

“Ahhh,” you echoed the request, letting his golden stream fill your mouth, splash off your tongue and dribble down your chin and body. You giggled, piss spilling from your smile as you looked up at him, all your fantasies now fulfilled. 

“Annnd cut!” Called the director. A few stage hands scrambled to bring you both a towel and small refreshments. “Almost done, just gonna get you guys a little cleaned up, rehydrated, let you catch your breath a bit, and then film the little quick, post scene interview. 

“Ok,” you both answered.

Colson tossed his towel over his shoulders and reached out his hand to you “You, good?” He asked with a faint laugh , watching your hand shake as you drank your water.

“Yeah,” you answered letting him pull you up onto the couch. 

“You were amazing,” he said, rubbing your back. He knew the come down from the adrenal rush of scenes could be taxing, especially from rough ones . “You —“

“Ready,” the director interrupted, cutting him short, and immediately pressing record. “So how was it?” the director focused the camera on you first. 

“Oh my god.. mind blowing,” you answered , still out of breath, adjusting your towel. 

“And you?” The director turned the camera to Colson.

“ Absolutely amazing. She was a natural. I’d love to work with her again.”

[kthynes]

meet cute

pairing: chris evans x fem!reader

request: What about Chris meeting a cute girl at target. It's 10 pm and the reader is with a good friend buying some food. The reader is not from the USA she is from Germany and visit her friend in the USA. Chris and the Reader catch the Same thing and he can't keep his eyes of her even when she is younger than him (22years) - anon

warning: none, just marshmallow fluff

a/n: I honestly think there's so much sweetness and anticipation in first chance meetings. If I were to ever bump into Chris irl then this is how I would want it to pan out. Thanks for the request, anon! Stay lovin' folksss.

ALSO that look, that mf look. I'd die.

-:-

America is nothing like Germany or any other country you've visited in the past. Aside from economic differences and views in politics, you find that everyone here is generally accepting, a bit aggressive, but kind enough to overshare their thoughts. There is a jovial atmosphere that you find yourself attesting to and then there's also the glaring culture shock that assaults you left right and center. It has definitely been a happy adjustment.

"Becky Jane price check to cash five! Becky Jane price check to cash five." A woman hollers over the intercom as you and your good friend, Mia giggle down the aisles. You are in America visiting her for the first time after a long time. She's well settled, attending UMass, living her best life and you couldn't be any happier for her.

"So what should we make for dinner?" She turns to ask you.

"Anything is fine with me, I mean it's getting kind of late now and I'd be okay with cereal." You point to a box of Cocopuffs and your friend shakes her head.

"That's not the first meal you're having in America Y/N." She chides you before coming up with one of her better ideas. "C'mon let's go over to the produce section, we can grab some ingredients for my world famous spinach and feta lasagna!"

You laugh but a part of you is tempted to stay, still enticed by the large array of sugary breakfast cereals. "Actually you go on ahead I wanna look around here for a bit."

Your friend rolls her eyes. "Fine if you're really hellbent then we can have cereal for dessert. How does that sound?"

"Perfect." You smile at her as she shakes her head and trolleys down the narrow aisle way.

There are so many options and while standing in the middle of the aisle you can't help but take in the rows of corrugated and colorful boxes, all brandishing a character or mascot of some sort. You finally settle on one box, reach over to grab it but then come up short when another hand does the same. You gasp and unsubtly retreat in unison, there's that assurgency that parallels your feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness.

"Oh I'm sorry!" You say before getting a better look at the man standing right next to you.

"No that's alright." He chuckles as your eyes shamelessly widen. It's him. The all American ass man himself, Chris Evans. He seems unreal. A simulation almost as he's idling around in a fitted red plaid flannel, dark blue jeans and a NASA cap that has seen better days.

"You can have it."

"Er, um, are you sure?" You ask and he nods, playfully bouncing his brows at you with an immobilizing grin.

"Yeah I can settle for something else." He eyes the shelf and then picks out a box of Special K, fibrous and healthy.

"Oh no don't, here take it." You joust him with the box and his head drops, laughing softly.

"It's fine. I'm better off with this stuff anyways." He says while sticking around, edging for some more conversation as his eyes inconspicuously drinks you up. You bob your head up and down and purse your lips, flustered to even properly smile at the actor who looks proportionally the same in person, if not even more breathtaking.

"I'm Chris by the way. But I'm sure you already knew that." He states out loud and you nod slightly while closely holding onto the last box of Captain Crunch. "And you must be?"

"Y/N." You say softly and his face turns up with appreciation. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl he thinks to himself.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. I'm guessing you're not from around here." You both walk the back aisles, perusing through at a snails pace.

"How'd you..." You falter.

"You have a slight accent." Chris admits, pointing to his mouth to gesture the lilt he's been carefully in tune with. Your mouth forms into an 'o.' "But it's cute though."

"Oh!" Your voice goes up a register and then back down again when you laugh at his double sidedness. "Yeah I'm not."

"That's cool, where are ya from? If you don't mind me asking, that is." Chris holds to himself, making sure that he wasn't overstepping any boundaries by making casual conversation.

"Germany." You state without any pressing objections.

"Ahh best known for Stollen and beer and not to mention, muesli." Chris comes off a worldly man as he factualizes this statement to you as if you weren't aware of the lifestyle itself. "Which makes you very deserving of that box of Cap'n Crunch."

"Oh yeah?" You quirk a brow in questioning.

"For sure. It's an American delicacy and right, have at it." You giggle upon hearing this and Chris finds it scintillating to hear. Wow.

"Well thank you for being so thoughtful Mr. Evans." You sweetly add.

"Of course, always a gentleman." He says with a large hand pressed against his chest, proving to be an honorable man.

"Have you ever been to Germany?" You set forth with another ask and he shakes his head no.

"No I haven't really travelled around Europe like that but I would love to." Chris pipes for you to mentally take note.

"You should go when you get the chance, it's lovely."

"Like yourself?" Chris flirtatiously rebuts.

"At most."

"So what brings you to America?" He ponders.

"My friend lives here and I thought I'd come down visit her for the holidays before going back to college." You tell him and he understandably nods, feeling a pang of disappointment course through him when he realizes that you're probably young if he'd gotten his vague calculations correct.

"That's great. And is that her?" You both approach the front of the store where it's wide open and there are no shelves keeping you two hidden away. You notice your friend Mia giving you a quizzical look of disbelief, as her eyes dance between you and Chris who's used to fan behavior at different paradigms.

"It is and now I'm not going to hear the end of it." You face him with an apologetic look, cueing to Chris that you had to go. He took this in good stride while nodding with solemnness. "I should get going."

"Okay, sure, yeah."

"It was very nice meeting you, Chris." You lightly touch his arm as your thankful way of departure.

"Likewise." He answers with his eyes looking down at you and holding you in place for a split second. First goodbyes were just as ungiving as last goodbyes, especially when there's a sense of unknowingness in being reunited again. There's that chance you forcible take in hopes that the universe will have a timely plan and alignment.

"Y/N?" Mia impatiently calls for you from across the threshold and there is some shared awkwardness in letting go.

"You should..." Chris starts, eyes closing slightly as you back away.

"Right, okay well bye!" You yelp before spinning around, tight on your heels and trudging towards your friend who is now looking at Chris with big, bulbous eyes. Mia's mind races, pieces and panders like any inquisitively gossipy best friend that could've been plucked straight from a 2000's rom-com. She sputters right as you appear in front of her.

"What just happened? How'd you... Y/N, that's Chris Evans!" Mia profanely surmises just as you drop the box of cereal into the cart. "You were talking and smiling and being all cute with Chris Evans!"

"I know. Don't ask."

"I have to because he's eyeing like a hawk Y/N!"

"Oh shit, he is?"

"See for yourself m'dear." She snickers.

You turn around and notice that Chris is waiting in line but his eyes are fully on you as the smile on his lips broadens. There's a substandard twinkle in his blue irises that thanks you for your time - surely an impactful encounter that has him slightly enamored by you in clear focus. And that is enough for you to be contented, knowing that you had an unconventional meet cute with Chris Evans.

Imagine that.

[jankwritten]

having a hard time existing alone in my head rn so I'm jut gonna kind of dump all of my stressed out bullshit into this post so I can stop just having it all ricochet around in there sorry about that let's hope this immediately gets buried. I don't want to post it but I know that if I don't post it it's going to sit in the back of my mind and I hate that so I just gotta fuckin hit the button and hope nobody reads this WAHOO.

grey is oversharing on the internet again, who woulda guessed. i think part of why i feel the need to post this is because somebody else might feel the same in some capacity and therefore I won't feel so alone. hm. either way: don't read this if you're uncomfortable with strangers on the internet being stupidly open about cringey thoughts and feelings. don't read this if you get secondhand embarrassment either lmao.

edit: the fact that a sugardaddy bot thing just commented on this has reminded me of the absurd beauty that is reality.

i'm having one of those days where everything feels like it's my fault no matter how much I tell myself that it isn't and that it's largely selfish of me to think that I matter so much that I'm the one causing everybody all of their problems. i know that's not true. I know that I might have CONTRIBUTED to some of it by being careless but that doesn't automatically mean that I caused it or it's entirely my fault and that's really hard to contend with for some reason.

i'm terrified that all of my friends and family hate me all of a sudden because I know they don't.

i can't do my homework because my ADHD is out of control and I feel like I'm numb and floating out of my own head every time I even sit and TRY to concentrate on the readings I should have done 4 days ago. I will do my homework and it will take me 3 hours longer than it normally does and that's okay but it doesn't feel like it's okay and I can't control it because everyone i talk to in any medical or serious capacity doesn't seem to take me seriously when I say I think I have ADHD or autism or SOMETHING that does this to me, because I have a 4.0, and I get nothing but As, and that's because I have crippling anxiety that balances it out.

I only just today learned that it's OKAY to tell people when you might not be around much because you're having a bad day. if I start doing that too I feel like i'll just use it like a crutch and never talk to anybody again even though i love talking to people.

i feel like i'm messed up but not messed up enough to really SAY that I'm messed up because all I'm messed up is in my own head and I DID IT to myself, nobody else did it. i'm fucked up in a way that doesn't make sense when I try to explain it because the way it is is just ME, in my OWN HEAD, saying this shit and coming up with things and not being able to forget it or stop thinking about it until it haunts me. maybe that's just what having anxiety is but wow does it feel fucking isolating. like no, my parents never abused me or neglected me, but I grew up terrified that there was always the possibility that they COULD and I got it into my head that there is ALWAYS going to be that possibility which means that I always have to be on my guard and always being the best person I can be so I at least know that when it happens it's not because I deserve it.

i keep looking over at my door expecting someone to walk in and catch me crying about all this and I'm so scared of that that I'm holding off tears in the privacy of my own space for the fear of it. like that can't be normal, can it?

none of this to mention the fact that I think when I got COVID it majorly fucked with my memory and COVID isolation/quarantine for the past 2 years really sapped all of my social understanding and awareness and now every time I leave the house I'm TERRIFIED of having to interact with other people because I just flat out don't know how. i don't really remember anything anymore. what I do remember is always the most anxious parts, the scariest parts because they are what made me feel the most.

ugh. I think everything has been building up to today for weeks now lmao i'm finishing school next week and I'm going to be free for the first time since fuck knows when and I am BRUTALLY TERRIFIED of what comes next. i have all of these obligations and things I need to finish for school too that keep slipping my mind, not to mention the things I need to do for IRL.

[jarofstyles]

SK8ER BOI - Kickflip

A/N: Here is the first installment our take on bad boy harry! It gets into things pretty quick but there is lots of content to come. Skater boy Harry is essentially what you wish every boy with a nicotine addiction was like featuring Timothée Chalamet as the uninterested boyfriend 🤭 We had a lot of fun writing this story so we hope you enjoy! - n+d

send feedback and requests here

If you like this, check out our Patreon!

masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: smut, cheating

word count: 8.5k

Y/N was just an average girl. 

Though some could say she tread on the nerdier side of things, she was neither here nor there as far as social groups at school. No one really bullied her, she sort of just kept to herself and did her work and that was all she needed to get by. Her parents were middle class, working average jobs, and Y/N would likely follow suit. She really wasn’t sure what she wanted to do just yet. Everything was fine in her life, except for the fact that her boyfriend of three years refused to touch her. It was a shame really. She had grown a really strong attachment to him and they used to hang out all the time, but as they got older it seemed like he wanted less and less to do with her. His status as student body president definitely helped her out and well... Everyone had a crush on Timothée. She really wanted to explore with him, wanted to pleasure him and vice versa, bond in a way so many others described. But she just boiled it down to her not being sexy enough for him. She saw the browser history on his computer when he left it out in his bed while showering. He didn’t even try to hide it. Y/N, couldn’t say she didn’t have fantasies about one particular bad boy. Harry. 

Harry was in fact, that skater boy. That one guy that rode his board out of school— until he had gotten his car. He still rode it around the school campus, not at all hiding it. Even at the age of 17, he had gotten tattoos. His parents were wicked cool. They didn’t mind him doing whatever as long as he did well in school, and attended functions like family parties and whatever. They were close, anyways. His father was a well known quantum physicist and his mum, a romance novel author. His group of friends called his home their main hang out area. He had a good head on his shoulder despite what his look may say. He knew people would definitely be judging him and truth be told, he didn’t much care. He was more into what he was working towards versus what high school champs had to say. 

Harry was intrigued when Mr. Beck partnered him with Y/N for a science project, though. She was a very good girl. Known for good grades and dating that class president dude, Timothée. He was pretty sure the dude was 100% gay or at least bi based on the subtle flirting he had initiated with Harry until a few years back when he decided to date Y/N. In his opinion, it was a waste because whenever he saw them, there was no passion. Y/N was hot as fuck— you’d have to be blind to not see it. But he didn’t know what went on behind the scenes. He wasn’t close with her but she seemed chill enough, so he didn’t mind when she was partnered with him. 

“Hey. Come in.” He said politely as he answered the door for Y/N, holding it open and taking her bag. He could hear the little jingle of bells on collars and realized he hadn’t warned her. “Uh— we have a bunch of cats. Is that cool? Or do we need to leave? Sorry, I didn’t think to ask if you were allergic or something.”

“Hi.” Y/N squeaked out, taking a step inside and thanking him for taking her bag. His house was massive! You’d never be able to tell he had a house like this just by looking at him, but the address clearly stated it was his so she didn’t bother leaving and looking for another. The first thing she noticed besides the beautiful interior of the house was the sound of little bells. Y/N turned her head to see about four cats coming towards her and her heart melted. “Oh my goodness! I didn’t know you had kitties!” She quickly dropped down to her knees to greet them, “hi little angels!” She cooed, sticking her hand out for each of them to have a sniff and see if they liked her or not before she went to pet them. She looked up at Harry with a bright smile, “Sorry, my parents never let me have pets after my bunny died in 4th grade because they didn’t want me to go through that emotional trauma again.” She knew it was a bit of an overshare, but that’s just the kind of person she was. Harry looked extremely attractive from this angle, ideas swirling around in her mind about all the things she could do with him. Y/N stood up again, fixing her little overalls before pulling off her shoes and leaving them by the door. She didn’t want to get a nice house like this all messy. She walked up to Harry again, expecting him to lead her towards his room or wherever they wanted to work.

Harry was impressed. All the cats seemed to like her, including Grumpy. He was named that for a reason. His smush face and grumpy look were warnings for how he really didn’t like anyone but Harry and his parents. But he was rubbing against Y/N’s hand and then her leg with a purr. 

“Oh. I’m sorry about your rabbit. It always sucks when they die.” Harry said softly. He wasn’t sure why she told him, but it did make him sad to hear it. He lost a cat a few months back and it did hurt. There was definite emotional trauma in it. “They like you. That’s cool. They’ll probably follow us up. Are you cool with going to my room? That’s where my computer is.” He hadn’t brought it down but his room was his preferred study space. He also didn’t want her to think he was some creep so gave her the option, which she nodded to. “It’s at the top, the attic space so prepare for some steps.” He said sheepishly, picking up her bag again so he could carry it up. “Oof. Are there bricks in ‘ere?” He was teasing.

“I don’t mind.” Y/N felt good about the fact that his cats liked her, she was rather fond of them already so she didn’t mind them coming upstairs with them. She felt herself get all nervous because well... she would be going to Harry’s room. He probably had no idea about the filthy thoughts she had about him, even just watching him walk up the stairs was hot. “No! Just my laptop and notebook... maybe a pencil case... and a water bottle.” Y/N defended, feeling her face get all blushy because she did realize there was quite a lot of stuff in her bag. However, walking up the stairs wasn’t all too difficult. They were perfectly spaced out which was nice, all of the decor in the house was beautiful but still very cozy. The house was definitely lived in. 

His room though? Goodness. 

“Wow...” Y/N mumbled as she stepped up inside. It was amazing. The walls were white but he had a theme of wood and navy, some vintage looking items here and there. Overall she noticed his little reading nook and what seemed to be an astronomy section with bean bags and a telescope. He even had a mini fridge in there and a cupboard... even a microwave! It was a whole little man cave. 

“Yeah, s’nice. It’s my own little place.” He smiled at her reaction, putting her bag down on his bed as he grabbed his laptop and unplugged it from the charger. “Want a water?” He didn’t listen for an answer, rather grabbed her one and handed it to her. His mum had raised him to always give company a drink. “We can work on my bed. The cats will probably come in here and pretend they aren’t looking for attention when they are.” He smirked, going over to his bed and sitting against the headboard like area. She looked shy so he tilted his head, patting the blanket. “C’mon then. Don’t be shy. This isn’t your first time in a boys room, is it?” He couldn’t imagine that Timothée was dating a hot bitch like Y/N and not be tapping it. If she didn’t have a boyfriend he would be trying to get her to know better because she really was gorgeous. But they’d been dating too long and Y/N probably wouldn’t go for that.

Y/N knew that her blush gave away her answer as she went to sit on his bed, not quite next to him though. She was a bit too nervous for that. In her mind she was already sitting on Harry’s lap with his hands gripping at her ass, his perfectly plump lips slotted between her own. Y/N shook her own thoughts out of her head but felt like she needed to answer his question. 

“Maybe it is...” She mumbled, pulling her laptop out of her bag and turning it on. It suddenly got very hot in his room and not just because they were in the attic. Y/N was burning up, his eyes were very obviously on her and she knew he’d ask and she’d definitely confess to him. She’d do anything Harry wanted her to do really, fuck. She just wanted to be touched. Seeing the look of shock and confusion prompted her to explain further despite how anxiety provoking it might have been. “Timmy and I don’t—” Y/N started, looking away feeling all embarrassed. “He won’t...” She couldn’t even say it, she was just that shy and embarrassed.

Oh. Wow. He didn’t.... he didn’t fuck her? Harry thought.

“You’re kidding?” He raised a brow. He understood what she meant. It went from zero to a hundred real quickly but he couldn’t say he was angry about it. He just didn’t understand why. 

Y/N’s face grew incredibly hot, looking up at Harry with a serious but semi spooked expression when he asked if she was kidding. She absolutely wasn’t kidding. If she was kidding she wouldn’t be so damn horny and ravenous. She felt like she could burst all the time, touch starved beyond belief. Sure, he’d kiss her, but never anything too passionate. It would always make him uncomfortable the second they got too hot. 

“How come you’re tellin’ me this? I mean... it’s fine you do, I won’t say shit but, we barely know each other.” He questioned, putting an arm behind his head as he looked expectantly at her for an answer. She was hot. Sexy as fuck, had that innocent good girl appeal and he loved that shit, personally. Timmy. God, the least sexy name to moan in bed. Really. He could only think about the fairy godparents cartoon. Ick. He was surprised though. “You’ve been dating for years, haven’t you?” It definitely wasn’t a Y/N problem. She was blurting things out so if she wanted to, she would have told him.

Y/N’s mouth went dry because well, she had an answer for him, she just wasn’t sure how he’d react. “cause... I know you enough to know you make me really nervous, especially right now.” Y/N was really bad at being sexy, her delivery and flirting was horrible but she hoped he picked up what she was putting down. “Yeah... we’ve been together for three years.” Y/N explained, letting out a deep breath. “It wasn’t so bad at first, but I just—” She was horny. She was so fucking horny it was ridiculous. She’d probably moan if they held hands at this point. “I’ve tried, but he’s not into it I guess.”

Harry could tell she was horny. He could feel it. He just knew. Looking at her, she was a bit antsy. Not able to sit still but most importantly, squeezing her thighs together. No way. She was horny and maybe partly because of him? 

“Not into it? That’s some bullshit.” Harry scoffed. “Not to be weird, but you’re hot as fuck. If he’s not into it he might be gay or is just blind.” He didn’t want to offend her but he had a feeling it was the first. Either way, there had to be a reason for him not wanting to eat the girl alive. Harry had definitely noticed Y/N before. She was cute, kind, had his favorite type of body, and had pretty, full lips. Also, a very cute laugh. She was innocent and he liked that type of vibe. Maybe it was a bit fucked to be aroused by that but hey, he was a teenage boy as well. “Don’t have to be nervous, babe. I don’t bite. Unless asked.” He gave her another smirk. Her blush was cute and her flush reminded him again at how easy it was to work her up. They’d begun working but Harry still had a question of two, and he could feel her hormones— he swore he could. The poor thing. 

Well. There it goes. 

The guy Y/N had been having sexual fantasies about for years calling her hot? Of course she wouldn’t be able to calm down now. Her face hadn’t cooled off, he didn’t really give her a chance to either. She just pulled her hair up into a bun but it didn’t help. Poor girl, you could see it on her neck too. She was just nervous and embarrassed and horny. So so horny. Timmy being gay though? It could be a solid explanation for why he didn’t want to touch her. It’s not like he looked at other girls, he always called her pretty and complimented her looks. Was always okay with cuddling and other platonic stuff.. maybe the kissing was just him trying to make it seem believable. Harry was always around though, sometimes she’d just imagine it was his hair she was carding through, that it was his jaw she was cupping instead of Timmy’s. She loved Timmy, she did, but she wasn’t sexually attracted to him. She tried to be, wanted to be, if he reciprocated maybe she would be? But even having Harry next to her was turning her on. Even hearing him say he didn’t bite unless asked? She could have died, swore she let out a whimper when she shifted. 

“Has he touched you at all?” Harry questioned.

“No, just kissed but like.. nothing crazy.”

“Seriously? He’s holdin’  out on you like that? That’s not fair.” Harry muttered. Fucking crazy. The fact that the guy got one of the hottest girls in school and refused to do anything with her when it was blatantly obvious that she needed a good dicking, more than anything? Negligent, at best. “You said you tried and he’s not into it... what did you try? Was it something weird or just asking?” He was trying to figure this out. “You don’t have to tell me and it’s none of my business but, m’just curious.” He was curious if she was hinting towards Harry taking care of it. Which he would happily do. The poor thing looked like she needed an orgasm more than anything else. He wouldn’t be opposed to a good make out session and finger fuck.

Y/N was surprised by how genuinely shocked he was that nothing was happening between her and Timmy. It made those butterflies spring up in her stomach and go haywire, his tone was suggesting he was curious which was good of course. If he thought she was attractive then... surely she wasn’t the problem. 

“I um...” Y/N was so nervous talking about this stuff, it really wasn’t like her at all. Hearing her say these things out loud made her physically cringe but he did ask. He couldn’t read her mind, could he? “Anytime I’d try to like... grind on him when we kiss and stuff, he’d just stop it.” She explained, feeling her cheeks get all boiling hot again. She regretted wearing a sweater. “I haven’t brought it up to him or anything cause I don’t want him to feel bad.” Y/N was still a sweetheart, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate. She’d been with him for three years, that was quite the long time.

“Jesus. That is either some good control or he can’t get hard. If he can’t, he's definitely not straight, babe.” Harry could be positive about that. Any straight man would be like an eager puppy to get between her legs. Harry included, if that was offered up. “M’sorry. That sucks. So you’ve been sexually frustrated for 3 years then?” He shook his head. “Not to be a dick, but how come you haven’t broken up with him yet? He isn’t meeting your needs. Any good man takes care of their girl. It’s just... how it should be.” Harry couldn’t believe this. “Trust me, you’re hot as fuck. Again, sorry if this is crude but— you’ve got the perfect thighs and probably a gorgeous pussy. Can’t imagine a man not wanting to get his mouth or hands on it. Or your tits. M’sure you’re told that often.” Maybe his vulgar speech would deter her but he had a feeling she would love it.

If someone told Y/N she’d be sitting on a bed with her crush while he told her that she had great thighs, tits, and assumed she had a gorgeous pussy, she would have laughed in their face. Harry looked completely serious too, his own eyes had grown dark and Y/N just felt stuck in shock. 

“Yeah..” She squeaked, swallowing thickly as she tried to focus back on the project but she was just staring at the screen. “He’s my best friend.. I care about him and he’s been there for me through a lot I— I couldn’t just do that.” She didn’t have the heart to break up with him. She needed a proper reason, just so she could feel guilt free. Y/N couldn’t just ask him to help her out could she? He had expressed to her how he felt like any good man took care of their girl's needs and well... she wasn’t his girl but oh did she want to be. As far as Y/N knew, he had slept around quite a lot. He thought she was attractive but he probably thought many girls were attractive. Maybe he’d just fuck anything? 

But she’d been thinking about him for so long.

Harry knew that she was avoiding looking at him because she was aroused by his words. She liked what he had to say and how he said it. It was obvious by her reaction. Which did make him smile a bit. She was flushed and biting her lower lip and he wanted to see just how flustered he could get her. 

“I get that. But how great is he if he’s not taking care of a need you obviously are being deprived of.” Harry muttered. Little French shit. He could fight him for that alone. “Are you horny, Y/N?” He asked. His body shifted so he was properly facing her, closer than before.

She really thought she’d be able to hold it together, but when he asked her flat out if she was horny she knew she couldn’t lie anymore. Y/N has fully shown up to do work and now it was looking like she was going to get an orgasm too? That seemed fake, there’s no way. But he had shifted a bit closer to her, completely forgetting about his laptop. Her eyes snapped to look up at him, swallowing thickly before looking back at her laptop. 

“Maybe.” She offered up shyly. She kept glancing up at him and looking away. She was just that nervous. Y/N couldn’t even pretend she felt bad for liking it either. It wasn’t like she hadn’t given Timmy an option, she was positive he probably would be upset... maybe he would be, but— she couldn’t pass this up, she’d been thinking about it for so long.

“Do you want me to take care of you?” Harry couldn’t pass this opportunity up either. Especially because it was a dream. Y/N was exactly his type and he liked her energy. She wasn’t being treated properly by her boyfriend and that wasn’t okay in his book. He knew she would say yes but the whimper made his stomach clench. She was desperate for it. The look on her eyes showed it. His hand came up to feel her face, immediately feeling her cheek lean into his touch. 

“Poor girl. Have been left to fend for yourself for a while. S’not fair to you. Not at all.” He sighed, truly in awe of how any man could let a wet cunt and a woman eager to use it up. “What would you like me to do?” He wanted to coax something out of her. “How worked up are you?”

Y/N’s heart dropped so far it probably fell out of her ass. Hearing him offer to take care of her sent her into a fit of emotions. Her eyes got all floaty, her cunt creating a second heartbeat, her body was naturally leaning towards his and she could have sworn she was dreaming at this point because it was all too good. Of course she agreed, closing her laptop and casting it aside so she could focus on the task at hand. She was far too focused on how good it felt to have his hand on her cheek that she hadn’t registered that he was asking her about what she wanted him to do. Y/N felt her face warm up all over again because she didn’t want to say it outright. It would sound so dirty, she felt like she couldn’t say. She scanned his eyes, waiting for him to say something but he wasn’t letting up. 

“I—I’m really sticky..” She whispered, already feeling shy and embarrassed about all of this. Y/N knew she wasn’t exactly sexy or anything.

Harry knew that she may be embarrassed of how she said things but to him, it was hot. The fact no one else had touched her before and she was going to let him... it was sexy as fuck. Especially because she has a boyfriend who wasn’t up to par with what she wanted.

“S’okay, love. That’s good. Very normal.” He felt himself harden a bit at the visual. “C’mere. Come on my lap.” He motioned for her to straddle him, which she did eagerly. Fuck, this was going to be fun. He was going to teach her some shit. “Why don’t you show me how you like to kiss, sweetheart? Let me see how you want things. Don’t be embarrassed about it either. I promise I’ll find it hot.” He pulled her face down to his and felt his body warm up, her eyes blow and obviously her face warm and eager to get herself touched. “Just kissing for a bit. Then I’ll touch.”’

She wasn’t sure how she was meant to keep her breathing steady when he had so casually just asked her to straddle his lap. Y/N didn’t really think before she moved, surprising even herself with how easily and comfortably she moved into his lap. She felt like everything had gone into slow motion, nodding when he asked her to show him how she liked to kiss. That she could do. 

Y/N was positive he could feel her clench, cunt throbbing at the idea of finally getting to kiss him. She’d been waiting for so long, she felt like she wouldn’t be able to stop once she started. With her face mere centimeters away from his face, she paused for a moment before letting her eyes flutter shut as she leaned in. 

Fuck. 

The pathetic sounding whimpered she released at the feeling had her blushing even harder. Y/N hadn’t made many sounds or answered many of his questions, but that was mostly because she was used to being quiet. This kiss however? God was it perfect. Y/N felt hungry, kissing him with such a desperate need. There was still passion behind it, but she just really wanted him.

Harry could tell this girl was hungry for it. Literally starved for orgasms and he couldn’t help but think about what a damn shame it was that no one had been giving it to her. When her mouth tasted this good and she was so eager and hot in her kisses, he would give her whatever the fuck she wanted. He kissed deep right back, hand wrapping around her hip and pulling her down on to him. She was pleased at that, Harry showing her it was okay to grind. Which, to be honest, may have been a mistake considering how good she was at it. He groaned into her mouth as she rocked and worked her hips, her lips open as she whimpered. 

“S’it good? Think you’re rubbin’ your clit right against my cock like that.” He murmured into her mouth, wanting to talk dirty and see what she would do. What she would respond with.

She couldn’t have imagined it being this good, him kissing her back as if he too had wanted her for all this time. It didn’t feel like this when she kissed Timmy, as awful as it was to say, she was starting to think that maybe Harry was right about him. She was quickly snapped out of those thoughts when his hand pushed her hips down against him. 

“Mmmm” A long whine fell into his mouth, her hips moving at a pretty eager pace. Y/N really wanted to cum. She wanted it so bad she genuinely thought she’d lose it. Of course, she’s made herself cum before, but it felt so different when someone else was involved. Especially that someone being Harry. Y/N felt her cunt throb at the dirty talk. Another pathetic sounding moan fell from her lips and her eyes nearly rolled back in pleasure. “Feels so good.” She whimpered against his lips, desperate for him to touch her. Y/N wasn’t sure what he would do, but having his hands on her? In any way? She would surely lose her mind. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, sticking to his shoulder cause it just seemed right to steady herself. Y/N needs something more.

“Good. You can touch me.” Harry gave her the go ahead. “Wherever you want.” She obviously didn’t know how to do it and he wasn’t going to shame her or want to make her feel uncomfortable. Rather, he slid a hand up her skirt, gently lifting it up and getting his hands into her panties. It was arousing to say the least. His hands held her ass, grabbing at it and helping her move her hips. Holding the bare skin, he squeezed and licked into her mouth, feeling her work her cunt harder and hump a little faster against him. Obviously it felt good to her. “Such a perfect ass, baby.” He whispered, giving her a sweet pet name. “So eager for me. So sweet.” He chuckled, moving to kiss at her neck. She was going to lose it and he liked that he was the one doing it.

Funny how things unfolded exactly how Y/N pictured it in her mind. The second she sat down on the bed she was thinking about straddling him and having his hands on her ass and now that’s exactly what they were doing. It felt so fucking good too. Y/N was trying to hold back her whimpers, but Harry didn’t let up. He just kept licking into her mouth, rubbing and squeezing at her ass as if she wasn’t completely losing it in his lap. Her hands hand hesitantly traveled up to his hair, the way she’d do it to Timmy except... he seemed to respond in a much more appropriate way. Harry seemed to like it, liked it a lot based on the hard squeeze he gave her ass. Y/N let out shaky moans when his lips attached to her neck, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Please— I need more.” She pleaded, “feels good, but I need more.. please.” Y/N was begging him to touch her. She wouldn’t tell him explicitly, but if he wanted to lay her down and work his fingers against her she’d like that or even if he wanted to put his mouth to work. Anything, she just needed to cum.

“There we go. Love to hear you ask me.” Harry had been waiting for that begging, and he had gotten it. There was a quick switchover, Harry laying her down and gently moving so he was between her thighs. He would start simple. His finger ran over the soaked through cotton of her pink panties, groaning at the sight. “They’re completely soaked.” He hissed, gently pulling them to the side. He couldn’t stop the deep breath that came when he saw her arousal stringing to the panties when he moved it over. “Fuck me. S’sticky all over your panties. I love that.” He has that effect on her, didn’t he? That was the best part. He had done that. He was going to make her feel the best she ever had. Fingers spread her open, a hum of appreciation coming from his mouth. “Just like I knew it. You’ve got the prettiest pussy... so wet... look how swollen your clit is.” He murmured, thumbing over it. It was visible and his mouth was watering. That pressure on her clit alone had the girl jilting under his touch, making him feel satisfied. His thumb rubbed harder in the sensitive part, watching her face scrunch up in pleasure. “So pretty. Fuck. Can’t believe he’s never touched it. Left it for me to play with.”

Thank goodness she was laying down because Y/N was sure she wouldn’t have been able to keep herself up. He had simply lifted her skirt and revealed her panties, he didn’t even think twice. It seemed everything he did just turned her on. She liked that he just took what he wanted but also made sure she was feeling good. Y/N didn’t realize just how wet she was until he started to run his fingers over her and they felt completely slick. Her eyes rolled back, one of her hands gripping at his bed sheets while the other stayed on the nape of his neck tangled into his perfect locks. Her breath hitched, her other hand moving to cover her mouth because she knew she was about to be so fucking loud. Her body practically twitched whenever he rubbed over her swollen clit, his fingers were working magic in her and honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she could do it better herself. 

“Ah!” Y/N whined, her hips bucking up against his touch when she felt herself getting closer. She was so worked up she knew she could cum right then and there if he would let her. Her body was giving it away.

It made Harry all too aware of how stupid Timothée was. He wasn’t touching this cunt? Wasn’t getting these reactions? He had to be gay. There was no other way. 

“You’re so sensitive... fuck.” Harry couldn’t believe she was trusting him. If all people do this to her. It wasn’t like they’d ever been close. They went to each other’s birthday parties in elementary school like all the kids in classes did. But that was about it. Thank god for anatomy. 

“Just relax, love.” He muttered, spreading her legs further as he got comfortable. “This is gonna feel really good. Just do what feels right. Can pull on my hair... be as loud as you want, please. Love to hear I’m going a good job.” He smirked, holding her thighs open as he licked one thick stripe up her cunt.

“Oh— oh my god!” Y/N gasped loudly when she felt his wet tongue on her cunt. Her legs twitched from the pleasure that was spiking now that he was focused in her clit. Her hand traveled down to tug at his hair as suggested, her whole body reacting to his actions. She’d never felt anything like this before, felt like she was dreaming. At first she was a bit shy with the noises she was making, but he clearly didn’t like that, immediately increasing the pressure and speed and sticking to it so that she was a moaning mess for him. Y/N knew that if anyone was home they’d think someone was being tortured but god— it was nothing but sweet sweet pleasure. When Y/N played with herself on her own she never pushed her limits like Harry was doing. She was so sensitive and she knew that, but he was purposely working over her most sensitive spots so she was writhing and twitching beneath him. “Ah— mmmm—“ Y/N whined out, “Harry!” She gasped, feeling herself falling over the edge quite rapidly. Her orgasm hit her like a ton of bricks, it was so incredibly fast she wasn’t ready for that at all. Her moans were high pitched and whiny, her breathing heavy as she tried to get air in her lungs. She held herself back too, felt like she was going to pee on him if he kept going.

Harry kept going. 

If this was her first orgasm by someone else, her first proper orgasm? She was going to get the best one. He knew she was sensitive— could feel it in her shaking thighs, but he was a man of conviction. He went full on, suckling on her clit. The way she was reacting was beautiful, a soundless scream followed by his name and shudders. However— he wasn’t expecting her to squirt. It was the hottest damn thing he had ever experienced in his life. Her first orgasm and she was cumming that hard, Harry pulling back and rubbing her clit hard as she continued to leak. 

“Fuuuuuck, yes. Give it to me, sweetheart.” He groaned. Holy fuck. He hadn’t expected it to turn out like this at all but he wasn’t going to complain.

The sound that escaped her even shocked Y/N. A loud, borderline pained, scream left from her throat and her eyes squeezed shut. Her breathing was shaky, her hands having moved to cover her face because holy fuck was she overwhelmed. It was a lot. Y/N didn’t think it was humanly possible to cum that hard, and he just kept going. She was so sensitive it hurt, especially when he started rubbing on her clit after she seemingly peed on him but, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she thought he liked it. Y/N was in an endless stream of whimpers and throaty moans, he didn’t seem like he was giving up any time soon and she wasn’t sure if she could handle another. 

“It hurts—” She whimpered out, moving her hands from her face to grip at the pillow behind her. “But it feels so good.” Y/N was completely fucked. So gone for, the hormones and endorphins overcoming her. He seemed to know what he was doing, so she let him continue. She didn’t want him to stop if she was going to keep feeling like this.

“God, you’re so good. Letting me do whatever I want... we’re so deprived before, weren’t you?” Harry was shocked. The fact she was letting him continue, shaking but loving every bit? He was happy. Damn. Finally, a girl who could keep up with him and she had to be taken. “You okay?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over her clit lazily. His mouth had kissed at her thighs, biting down gently on one. “Hm.. can I mark here?” It wasn’t like her boyfriend was gonna see it. “And you don’t mind if I get myself off, do you?” He wanted to cum on her thighs or her stomach. His cock ached in his pants and he had no problem just getting her off, but he needed to cum. Of course he wouldn’t ask her to do anything, though. Despite it all, he respected her. She was a good girl. He was tainting her a bit but, she was happy to be tainted.

Y/N nodded her head to let him know she was okay, but he didn’t seem happy with her nodding, he wanted an answer. “Yes.” She whimpered out an answer to all of the things that he asked, still breathing shakily and twitching whenever the tension built up enough. The slow rubbing on her clit was still bringing her lots of pleasure, it made her want to cum again and that freaked her out. Could she really take that much? She’d never seen a cock in person before. Only even in porn but she didn’t watch that either because it made her feel yucky. Y/N swallowed thickly, seeing just how big he was. Holy shit. That was meant to fit inside someone? She already had trouble sticking her fingers in, but that? However, she was interested in watching him. Y/N watched him with loopy eyes, knowing for a fact she’d worship him after this. If he let her come back for more she happily would. Hell, she’d follow him around like a puppy if he kept making her feel like this.

It was probably the hottest hook up Harry’s ever had. Truth be told. He was in shock that Y/N was so needy for it and the fact she had let him be the one to play with her, to get her off, it was astonishing. There was nothing hotter than watching her legs open and pussy pulsing a bit from the intensity of her orgasms. 

“Mmm... you’re fucking hot.” Harry hissed, stroking himself as he bit down on her thigh. She let out a yelp that turned into a whine as he sucked a mark on to the softness of it, smirking when she rutted into his finger. After that though, he decided to take things up. “M’not gonna go in. Just... relax.” He rested himself against her cunt and rubbed the tip against her clit as he stroked himself heavily, hissing when her slickness covered him. It made it easy to stroke. “Jesus, you’re good. Feels good, hm? Better than your own fingers?” He knew it was. She looked fucked out, hips bucking into his own as he approached his own orgasm. Would it be too far to cum on her cunt? “Can I... fuck, can I cum on your cunt?” He had originally wanted her tummy or her thighs but seeing his cock against her now... he felt a bit primal.

Y/N had never expected this. This was the farthest she’d gone with anyone and the fact that it was with the guy that she’d been fantasizing about for years? It felt so unreal, definitely added to the intensity of her orgasms. Having him mark her? In a place where she’d be the only one to find it? That made her cunt throb. He started rubbing himself on her and she felt like that was a whole other level of horny. He felt so good against her, Y/N didn’t think she was that hot but Harry seemed to think so and that was enough to get her to feel confident enough to answer him with her full voice when he asked to cum on her cunt. 

“Yeah... you can cum on me..” Y/N didn’t have it in her to say cunt yet, but baby steps nonetheless. Harry was so hot, he looked so good above her. They weren’t even naked, just their lower halves, which in a way made it hotter because they were just that needy. His face was still slick with her, and that was something she couldn’t get over. 

It was apparent that Y/N didn’t know just how hot she was and that was a goddamn shame in Harry’s opinion. Because she was. She was so hot and he was sure that this wasn’t going to be the only time they had fun. 

“Fuck.. fuck.” He hissed as he began to cum on her. There was nothing like watching his cum stripe over her, soiling it with the white cream. It only made his orgasm better, a groan leaving him as he ran his cock through the slit and pressed against her clit again. “Fuck me, that’s so hot.” He whispered, mouth open at just how good it looked. When he saw her gawking at it, her tits moving under the fabric of her top, he smirked. “Want to taste it?” He ran two fingers through the mess.

Watching Harry cum was definitely the hottest thing Y/N had ever seen, the sounds he released and his scrunched up face was enough to make her shudder. On top of that, the feeling of hot cum ribboning over her cunt was something that she again couldn’t explain. It felt good, satisfying, especially because he seemed to be dying over it.

“Yes.”

It was a quiet squeak of an answer but it was an answer. Y/N was curious, she wanted to know what he tasted like and had a feeling that he too wanted her to try. If she didn’t like it she’d pretend to like it, but holy fuck she did actually like it. It was salty, a strange texture, but definitely not the worst thing she’d ever had in her mouth. It had its own taste, but she enjoyed that. Her mouth was wrapped around his fingers, gently licking and sucking the cum off his fingers while watching his eyes. He seemed to like this a lot too. Y/N was learning quite a bit, mostly that Timmy was definitely gay. But she didn’t just want to confront him like that that wouldn’t be fair. As soon as she was done, Harry kissed her again. This time it was more gentle than before. A kiss of appreciation. That was some good shit. Harry hadn’t been with someone who was a virgin and didn’t realize how horny they got— maybe it was just Y/N, though. He could have been having this and he didn’t. 

It was a good thing for Harry though. He got to have what he wanted and while he knew that was a lot, he didn’t really care that he could potentially hurt his feelings. He had made Y/N feel inadequate anyways. 

“Let me clean you up.” He murmured, smiling when she pouted when he pulled away. He was gentle with it, wiping her clean with tissues next to his bed. When she jumped, he chuckled. 

“Sensitive, I know.” He was smug about it though. Yes. He had done that. Though it was a shame she was too sensitive to clean it with his tongue. He would have been down.

The kiss was definitely something that Y/N needed. It was a nice little reminder that Harry was a gentleman and that she hadn’t just gone and done stuff with someone who was a complete asshole. Y/N always knew that Harry was a good guy, sure she’d heard rumors about him and knew he had gotten around and did drugs, but never had she heard about him being mean. Even when cleaning her up he was gentle, but of course she felt all shy again because she was laying fully exposed in front of the guy she had a crush on who had just made her cum three times within the span of 20 minutes. It was a lot. She’d completely forgotten about the fact that she was here to do an anatomy project. Y/N stayed quiet for the most part, letting him clean her up. Once she was finished she slipped on her panties again, though it felt quite dirty because they were still soaking wet. She’d need to take a shower when she got home. “Thank you.” She told him, feeling herself blush all over again.

“You’re welcome. Do you want a pair of boxers or something to wear instead of your panties?” Harry didn’t want her to be uncomfortable. At the relieved look on her face, he chuckled and went to his drawer, grabbing his smaller pair. “Here. May be big on you but, better than being uncomfortable.” He threw them to her and grabbed his water bottle, taking a sip before sitting down. “Want to do this project then?” Now that the sexual tension was at least fixed for a bit, he was happy to get to work. He wanted to see her get a good grade too. It didn’t have to be weird. 

“Oh, thanks.” Y/N smiled bashfully and stood up to change into them. There was no need for her to be all shy about it anymore. Y/N put her dirty panties to the side, taking a sip of her water bottle as well because lord knows she needed up. She was definitely a lot looser after their little activities, much more relaxed and open to talking and working. 

It really did feel better after they'd fucked around. Harry noticed that Y/N was more loose and seemed to feel more at ease now that he’s had his mouth on her pussy. They’d done a bit today and he was sure he would be on her mind for a long time after she left, which made him smug. 

----

They were finishing up when he asked for her number. “Put yours in. Dunno if you want to do this again but... I wouldn’t mind.” Harry would love it.

Y/N was already thinking about doing this again. Now that all her initial nerves were out of the way, she felt like I’d be easier for her to do things with him. She’d probably never initiate it again like this until she was this desperate, but whenever he wanted her again, if he did, she’d happily come over. She typed in her number and texted herself.

“The project or?” Y/N was a bit stupid sometimes, she didn’t want to assume he wanted to but based on the look on his face she figured he meant the other thing. “Oh, yeah— I um... I’d like that very much.” She said and finished putting her stuff away. “Thanks again... I’ll see you.” Y/N spoke when he walked her down the stairs and out the door. 

She’d left her panties in his room.

He had come upstairs to find the lovely gift that was left. Sure, it wasn’t on purpose but it was his now. He’d let her know that. They smelled like her and damn, it was good. Stuffed in his side drawer, he sat and absorbed the whole thing. Maybe he should feel guilt for having her cheat. But she needed it. The poor girl was nearly frothing at the mouth with need for sexual release and something about him tickled her. He couldn’t say no to that. Especially when she was so excited to do it and so responsive. 

Later that night he texted her. 

‘Hey, it’s Harry’

‘Did you want to come over again on Friday and work?’ He snickered at that. They’d work but... he knew by Friday she would be wanting more. 

‘Also, appreciate the gift you left. They’re lovely. Xx’ He sent a picture of the waistband of the panties in his hand.

On the bike ride home Y/N felt herself whimper every time she went over a bump. Harry had definitely done a number on her and she couldn’t have been more thankful. She texted Timmy when she got home, asking him about how he was and how his day was as usual though, she was surprised she didn’t feel really guilty. By the time she had showered and freshened up, she saw that she’d received texts back from both of them, but of course she wanted to answer Harry’s first. 

‘Hii! yeah, I can do that!’

‘oh my god 🤭’

She left them at his house? Fuck. She should have just put them in her bag but... she did have his boxers, so it didn’t really matter did it? Timmy had texted her back responding with how his day went saying he was super busy getting ready for his re-election campaign. It was his way of saying they wouldn’t really be able to hang out. She told him that she was sad but that she’d see him at school. Realistically she knew she needed to talk to him, but she wanted him to be able to tell her I’m his own time. She’d stop trying to have sex with him, only if he tried though.

‘I’ll be having fun with them. They’re in great hands. Don’t worry.’

He was smug about it for sure. But still, he couldn’t help but feel beyond happy about it because perhaps he had found a new person to fuck around with. Sure, he liked hook ups at parties but he had wanted a designated person to be around and fuck with. And Y/N was a cool chick. He hadn’t paid too much attention to her before, only to notice she was hot and also questioning why she was dating that kid. But the closer he got, the hotter she was. And fun to be around after she chilled out. She hadn’t mentioned being surprised by his room and the kind of nerdy star stuff in it. So he liked her a bit more for that. 

‘Good. Come over on Friday and we can work late. My dad’s away and my mom is on her book tour shit, so we’ll be alone, if that’s cool w you?’

Was he? He was flirting a bit wasn’t he? Y/N wasn’t exactly sure but him suggesting that his parents would be away and that they would be alone in his house again made butterflies erupt in her stomach. She was really excited to see his cats again and hang out, they’d likely finish another part of their project and likely fuck around a bit and that made her nervous all over again. 

‘Okaaay sounds good :) ’

She set her phone on her stomach and just looked up at the ceiling. Holy shit. Y/N couldn’t wait for Friday now, excited to see what else he’d have in store for her. She was simply excited to get to know him a bit more, he was hiding a lot of stuff from people from school. Of course she noticed all the astronomy shit in his room, saw the tons of books that he had with sticky notes showing they were clearly annotated. There was a lot more to him than met the eye.

---------------------------------------

[part 2]

A/N: Without giving too much away, yes, skater boy harry is bi and is whore for astronomy but we’ll get into that later ;) - n+d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

[motherjoel]

hot cocoa (spencer reid x reader)

summary: spencer accidentally spills some of penelopes famous hot cocoa onto a beautiful stranger in the airport (who just so happens to be sitting next to him on the plane)

a/n: this one takes place during the holidays but its not all about xmas! also i tried to make this gender neutral and i think it is but if i missed something let me know

wc: 2.2k

warnings/includes: reader curses a lot & has flight anxiety, spencer is awkward and sweet

-

Spencer was rarely late- even when he had food poisoning from some bad chinese food, he made it into work with time to spare. Sure, he might have turned green at the sight of the evidence board, but he even made it to the trash can in time. His punctuality had come into question today, however, as he booked it to the boarding area. I shouldn’t have let Garcia distract me, he thought back to the holiday party at the office. Well, surprise party- they had all returned from a case sore and exhausted, but of course Penelope had baked an entire array of cookies and decorated the office to the brim. He stayed for one cup of hot cocoa, which turned into three, and before he knew it, his flight was an hour away. With his travel mug filled with cocoa in hand, he awkwardly ran through the airport to catch his flight home to Vegas.

Spencer never considered himself a coordinated person- sure, he had to have a certain level of finesse to be an FBI agent, but if he wasn’t a genius he never would have passed the physical. So when he found himself tripping over his own feet in the middle of an airport, he wasn’t as much surprised as he was perturbed. That annoyance soon shifted into pure embarrassment when he looked up to see you- the ethereal being he had just spilled Penelope’s famous hot cocoa onto. The beautiful person whose “I <3 DC” sweatshirt was now stained an unattractive shade of brown. His mind went completely blank in that moment, the apology he had wished to conjure up lying dead on his tongue. As he began to stammer in shock he stopped in his tracks- you were laughing. A noise Spencer swears could find world peace and end world hunger. A voice that finally encouraged Spencer to find his own.

“I am so sorry,” he apologized, hands frantically flying to his personal pack of tissues he kept in his bag. You continued to laugh, doubled over as you accepted the wad of tissues.

“Oh, it's okay,” you said, taking a deep breath. “God, I definitely seem insane. Sorry, I’ve just been having one hell of a shitty day,” you began to explain, confusing Spencer even more. “So my boyfriend breaks up with me the morning of my flight across the country, which I’m running a bit late for,” you continued, glancing at your watch. “But I have to go home for the holidays of course so I pack my shit and head out anyway, but I forget a sweatshirt! I’m freezing cold so I buy this overpriced ugly thing,” you gestured to your now-stained sweatshirt. “Only for you to spill your…” you sniffed the mess, “hot cocoa?” you questioned, Spencer nodded frantically, “all over it. I guess that's one way of warming up,” you huffed. 

“Wow, I- um, I don’t really know what to say. I’m really sorry about your day being bad. And for spilling my drink on you, of course, um,” he reached into his suitcase and pulled out his backup cardigan. “Here, take this,” he said, almost shoving the knitwear into your hands. “Please, it’s the least I can do,” he said, unintentionally flashing what Prentiss called his “puppy dog eyes.” He exhaled in relief as you grabbed the sweater from him, sliding off your stained hoodie and replacing it with his soft and coffee-scented cardigan. 

“Thanks. And I’m sorry for dumping my days' trauma on you, but I really do have a flight to catch, so,” you gestured towards the boarding area (which just so happened to be his designated boarding area). You rushed off to board the plane after giving him a tight-lipped smile and a soft wave, leaving him in a dazed state. Breaking out of his trance, he grabbed his suitcase and continued his beeline towards the plane. 

There was something about you that stuck with Spencer- although it may not have been your proudest moment, he was incredibly intrigued by you and the way you reacted to disaster. Spencer had seen his fair share of terrible coping mechanisms, but the way you laughed in the face of tragedy was something he admired- envied, almost. Envy wasn’t the right word for it, there were no negative connotations he associated with the way he felt about you. Perhaps it was too soon to tell.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped onto the plane, the anxiety of missing his flight finally lifted. Said anxiety was soon replaced by a new feeling that was ruled by a flutter in his chest, one that he had only experienced a few times in his life. This fluttery feeling was the result of seeing you planted in the seat directly next to the one written on his plane ticket. His breath caught in his throat as you looked up from the book in your hand, giving him a small wave. His eyes widened as he looked around, wondering if you were actually waving at him. You laughed and looked back down at your book, a soft smile rested on your lips. As Spencer got closer to his seat he could feel his heart rate picking up. You looked up from your book as he struggled slightly to lift his carryon into the overhead compartment. His cheeks heated up in embarrassment over the struggle, but he eventually managed to secure his carryon, taking a seat in 32 B. 

“So we meet again,” you smiled at the disheveled man next to you.

“So we do,” Spencer smiled and grabbed his copy of Les Miserables from his backpack- he lost track of how many times he had read it, but it was an easy plane read for him.

“I’m Y/N, by the way. Sorry, I probably should’ve introduced myself earlier after telling you my life story. I just didn’t expect to be sitting next to you,” you said with amusement.

“I’m Spencer, and no problem. Hows, um, the sweater?” he asked, trying to continue the conversation. Normally he’d be a quarter through his book by now, but you were a rare something that was more interesting to him than Victor Hugo. 

“It’s great! Cozier than my ‘I heart DC’ hoodie for sure,” you laughed and Spencer swore he heard angels singing.

“I’m glad, I felt really bad. Hot chocolate is actually a really difficult stain to remove because it has fat, sugar, tannins, and protein. It would take a lot of work to remove that stain, especially with the chocolate to milk ratio Penelope uses,” Spencer rambled, the embarrassment setting in the second he closed his mouth.

“Penelope?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Oh, she's my coworker. She’s known for her hot chocolate and her cookies. Oh!” Spencer remembered the plastic bag of cookies Garcia had sent him home with. “Want one? They’re chocolate chip,” he said, grabbing the bag of cookies and holding it out to you.

“Sure,” you laughed, taking a bite of the surprisingly delicious cookie. “Oh. My. God. That is incredible! This Penelope person has a gift,” you laughed, finishing the cookie surprisingly fast.

“I’ll be sure to let her know,” Spencer smiled, taking a cookie for himself. A comfortable silence ensued as the two of you munched on your cookies, the plane almost done boarding.

“So, what brings you to Vegas?” you asked. Spencer was a little confused as to why you wanted to talk to him, but he decided not to question the anomaly.

“Oh, I’m visiting my mother for the holidays. I work at Quantico in Virginia so I don’t get to see her too often,” he shared, surprised at his willingness to be open.

“That’s nice! I’m kinda doing the same, except I am not returning to DC,” you sighed. Spencer felt his heart drop as he internally begged for you to elaborate, and as if reading his mind, you continued. “That boyfriend I mentioned earlier was kinda my only reason for moving here, and now that he's a cheating jackass- sorry, oversharing again, um, now that we broke up, I’ll probably just stay in Vegas,” you explained, opening the book in front of you and mindlessly flipping through the pages. He focused on the chipped nail polish painted on your bitten nails as you turned the pages, eyes moving to the title of the book.

“Le Petit Prince?” he asked, pointing at your book.

“Oh, yeah. I’m trying to teach myself some french so I’m reading this to get a little better,” you smiled before your eyes drifted down to the thick book in his lap. “You’re reading Les Mis?” you asked, slightly shocked at the french writing on the cover.

“Yeah, well it's my.... fourth, I think, time reading it. Well, in the original french,” he said, oblivious to his accidental brag.

“Damn, are you a genius or something?” you laughed, noticing the blank stare on Spencer’s face. “Wait. You are,” you pointed at him, your shock turning into joy.

“Well, technically, I am I guess,” he smiled awkwardly, trying not to flaunt his intelligence.

“That’s so cool! God, maybe if I was a genius I could get past the first chapter of this book,” you huffed, looking defeatedly at your book once again.

“May I ask, why are you learning French? It’s the fourth most important language behind Mandarin Chinese, Spanish and German. That’s just my opinion, of course,” he said, slightly flustered by the look on your face.

“Yeah, I guess it's not the most practical. But there's something so romantic about France, you know?” you asked and he nodded, blushing lightly. “I’ve always wanted to visit Paris, hell, maybe even live there. It’s stupid,” you laughed, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“No, it’s not. It’s called the city of love for a reason,” he said with a tight-lipped smile. You were both silent for a moment before the flight attendants began their safety announcements and prepared for takeoff. Spencer noticed you stiffen as the engine started to rumble and the plane got faster. “Are you okay?” he asked as you shut your eyes tightly together.

“Yeah, yes, um. I just have really bad flight anxiety,” you confessed, eyes remaining closed. The plane lifted off the ground and you sucked in a deep breath, instinctively reaching over to grab Spencer's hand. All thoughts of germs and disease had completely left his mind at your touch- facts and logic meant nothing at this point if it meant you wouldn’t let go. “Could you just um, distract me?” you asked, peeking at him from the corner of your eye, hand still clutching his.

“Oh, yeah of course,” he said, thinking quickly for a distraction before grabbing the book from your lap and opening it to the first page. In perfect french, he began to read. “Lorsque j’avais six ans j’ai vu, une fois, une magnifique image…” he read for almost an hour before he felt your head relax on his shoulder, eyes closed. He continued to read for a bit longer before the lull of sleep pulled him under as well, your touch comforting him and providing safety.

Spencer woke a few hours later with a start to the seatbelt light beeping on. Gathering his bearings he looked to his left to see you already awake, looking at him with a smile.

“You’re cute when you sleep. Snore a bit, though,” you laughed and yawned, looking out the window. Spencer's heart rate picked up at your mussed hair and dazed expression. “Thank you for reading to me. I’m completely chill now,” you reassured him.

“Oh, no problem. Also, I’m not the only one who snores,” he quipped, a soft smirk on his lips.

“Hey, gimme a break! That was the most I’ve slept in days,” you defended.

“Believe it or not, me too,” Spencer realized, surprised that he slept more on an airplane than in his own bed. Maybe that difference was you.

“Looks like we’re almost landing,” you noticed, causing a pang in Spencer’s chest.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess so,” he acknowledged with a slight tone of disappointment.

“Hey. So this might sound crazy, but what if I gave you my number? And while you’re still in Vegas, maybe we can hang out? Sorry if this is too forward,” you cringed in embarrassment.

“No!” he started, eyes wide.

“Oh, okay. I shouldn’t have asked,” you immediately took back your statement.

“No! I mean, it's not too forward. I, uh would love to… hang out with you,” Spencer said, the words seeming unfamiliar on his tongue. The smile you gave him seemed to stop the earth for a few seconds (although Spencer knew this was scientifically impossible, something about you defied laws of science). 

The plane soon landed and numbers were exchanged, and one unexpected (but lovely) goodbye hug was given, and Spencer was floating. He couldn’t wait to tell his mom.

-

shoot me an ask or message to be on my taglist! :)

taglist: @rigatonireid​, @goldenxreid, @aworldoffandoms, @moonshinerbynight, @averyhotchner

[honeykawa]

Home

pairing: oikawa tooru x single parent! reader

genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

word count: 4.8k

a/n: wow it’s been a hot minutes since ive posted but this is something ive been working on for a while. hope you enjoy!

Summary: Oikawa wanted nothing more than a happy life and when he met you he thought it was within his reach. The days he spent with you filled him with so much happiness, happiness he didn’t even know existed. The way you smiled, laughed and cried for him made him want to keep you all to himself. But he knew he couldn’t be so selfish.

“Y/n!” your nephew called out to you as he ran home from school. You picked up your adorable nephew and gave him a big hug.

“How was your day Kota?” You walked back to your home as Kota told you about his day at school. His face lit up as he spoke to you. It was only recently that he had begun to smile again since the passing of his mom, your sister, and had been placed in your care.

“Do you want to go to the volleyball program for kids your age today?” he nodded his head enthusiastically. “Then go get changed and we’ll go,” you smiled as he ran off to his room. As soon as he ran back out he was putting on his shoes to leave, “Let’s go y/n!”

He was basically dragging you at this point as he ran up the stairs to where the volleyball program was. “Kota please slow down! Someone might fall!” And as if on cue you tripped over your own feet but before you hit the ground you felt someone’s arms catch you.

“Are you okay?” You looked up to see a man with brunette hair and a gentle smile. He helped you back onto your feet as your nephew came over to you with teary eyes. “I’m so sorry y/n!” You quickly kneeled down to his height and patted his head, ��Ahh it’s okay Kota! Look! I’m not injured anywhere so go ahead and go to your lessons!” He nodded his head and went off after you wiped his face.

After you made sure he was enjoying himself you turned to the man next to you and bowed, “Thank you so much! I’m sorry if I troubled you,” your words were frantic. “Don’t worry about it! Just be careful okay? Wouldn’t want you to worry Kota,” his words sounded playful but the concern was there. 

You both started walking to where all the kids were playing, “Do you know Kota?” The way he casually said his name made you curious. “Oh, I’m one of the instructors here! My name’s Oikawa Tooru.” Your eyes widened at the name. “Oikawa Tooru? I thought you lived in Argentina?” You could have sworn that he played for the national team there. His hand scratched the back of his head and a light laugh left his mouth, “Aha well I recently moved back after another injury and now I help out here in my free time.” His story left a lot to be desired but you left it at that. 

“Well in any case thank you for looking after Kota while he’s here! Ever since his mother passed he hasn’t really smiled but after attending this program it’s come back little by little,” he watched as your gaze settled on your little nephew, “I know I can’t ever replace my sister but if I can do anything to make him happy then I’ll gladly do it.” The words just fell out of your mouth as you spoke to him, “Sorry if that was too much! I have a tendency to overshare sometimes. I’ll let you get back to the kids now! I’m sure I’ve taken up too much of your time already. Thanks again!” Before he could even say anything you had already run away.

You came back a little later to pick your nephew up with groceries in hand. You didn’t realize how late it had gotten and rushed back only to see Oikawa and Kota still playing together even though everyone else had gone. A smile appeared on your face at the sight of them together. “Ah y/n!” Oikawa saw you and waved. 

You walked towards the two of them and picked Kota up. “Thank you for watching him Oikawa! I lost track of time at the grocery store.” Kota was already asleep in your arms and you both chuckled. 

“Must have been a long day for him.” Oikawa smiled as he ruffled Kota’s hair. “I’ll see you later y/n” he was about to turn and leave before you called out to him.

“Wait! Would you like to have dinner with us tonight? It’s the least I could do after you stayed with him,” the smile on your face made his heart speed up a bit. It couldn’t hurt to just have dinner, right? He nodded his head and followed you home.

“Here let me carry that,” he reached for the grocery bags in your hand and took them before you could object. “Oh, thank you!”

As soon as you two made it back to your apartment you set Kota down in his room. “You can just sit at the table and wait for it to be ready! I hope you don’t mind having curry. Do you like yours spicy or sweet?” You were so preoccupied placing everything out you didn’t even hear Oikawa behind you.

“Hmm let’s do sweet since Kota’s still young,” his breath tickled your ear causing you to jump. “Oh sorry y/n! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Even though he said that you could see the mischievous look on his face.

You rolled your eyes and went back to cooking, “Sweet it is then. Now, either sit back down or help me. Don’t just stand there.” you lightly smacked him with the back of your wooden spoon to which he just laughed. “Ok, ok. Just tell me what to do.”

Dinner was quickly ready and Kota came out of his room rubbing his eyes. “Why good Morning, Kota! C’mon, let’s wash your hands before we eat.” Oikawa’s eyes never left you as you took care of your nephew. You were so kind to him, it almost made him jealous. Would you also wish him a good morning after he wakes up? It was something he could only dream of. 

“Oikawa why are you here?” Kota took a bite of his food as he asked his question, making it a bit hard to understand what he said. “I’m just here to play with Kota,” He patted Kota’s head to which his eyes lit up. “Really?! Can we play some more volleyball?”

You laughed at their little interaction which caught Oikawa’s attention. It was a sound that was soft and light on his ears, he wanted to hear it again. “Kota, there’s nowhere to play volleyball here so why don’t you show him your room after we eat instead?” Kota nodded his head and quickly finished his meal.

A little while later Kota fell asleep for the night after forcing Oikawa to play with him and now it was just you and Oikawa in the living room. You brought out a can of beer for him while you just drank some water. 

“You’re not going to drink with me?” You shook your head and looked towards Kota’s room. “If something were to happen to him I need to be ready to act. But please, go ahead.” He opened the can and talked with you for a little bit.

After a couple of cans, he was definitely starting to feel a little tipsy. “You know, you’re a good parent. Kota might not be your kid but you treat him with such care and kindness. I was worried when I first met him that his home life wasn’t good since he was always quiet and never smiled but...after meeting you I can see that everything’s fine.” his eyes widened and he quickly covered his mouth. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me. My lips are a little loose right now.” He laid his head on the table with his shoulders slumped, a bit embarrassed of his sudden words. You just smiled and ran a hand through his hair, “Thank you Oikawa. You can sleep here if you want. Let me go get a few blankets and pillows for you.”

You set up the couch for him and helped him settle for the night. “Goodnight, sleep well,” but before you could leave he grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto the couch with him. “Sleep with me” he leaned down to give you a kiss but fell asleep before he could with you locked in his arms. You took a sigh and brushed some hair out from his face. Despite the happy-go-lucky attitude he had, you felt a sense of sadness whenever you looked at him.

The morning quickly came and Oikawa woke up before anyone else. He felt a weight against him and when he looked down his memories of last night suddenly came back to him. Of course, he was embarrassed by his actions but at the same time waking up next to you didn’t seem so bad.

He felt you starting to move around and saw your eyes flutter open, “Good morning, y/n~” He had a cheeky smile on his face that made your face feel as if it were on fire. You immediately shot up, “G-good morning, Oikawa.” You stood up and headed towards your bedroom to get ready for your day. You had to go to work in a little bit and needed to get Kota to school soon.

You quickly came out in work attire and made some breakfast for the three of you. Kota sat down at the table and ate quietly as you prepared some bentos for the day. “Okay, Kota! We have to go otherwise you’ll be late for school!”

You turned to Oikawa and handed him a bento as well. “I don’t know if you need to get to work too but here’s some lunch! See you later Oikawa!” You parted ways at the street and he couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on his face. You truly were a kind person.

A few days passed and Oikawa decided to stop by your apartment to return the bento box to you. Maybe he was acting on his own whims but he just wanted to see you again. “Oh, Oikawa! It’s pretty late but come in!” 

You ushered him into your house and poured him a cup of tea. “So to what do I owe the honor?” He held up the bento box and handed it back to you.

“Just thought I’d return this. It was really good, I wouldn’t mind eating your food every day,” his eyes locked with yours and you could feel your face heating up from his blatant flirting. The look on your face made his breath hitch though. Just how cute could you get?

“You know, you should call me Tooru. We’re friends, right?” The more embarrassed you got the more he wanted to tease you. He wanted to see all of your expressions. “C’mon, say it!”

He leaned closer and closer to you as he kept trying to get you flustered. “T...Tooru,” he smiled at the sound of his name.

“See? Was that so hard?” He patted your head to which you just swatted it away. He knew when to stop and you might end up hating him if he went any further. So he drank the rest of his tea and then got up.

“Well, it’s been fun y/n but I’ll see you later.” He was about to leave before you stopped him.

You pulled on his shirt and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before letting go. “Good night, Tooru” and with that, you closed your door leaving him there too shocked to even move. 

Once he got a hold of himself he chuckled a bit as he walked home. He had always thought you were interesting but who knew you could catch him by surprise like that as well.

A couple of weeks went by and you’ve seen Oikawa a few times at volleyball lessons and you talked to him a bit every time. Your conversations with him, though short, were always meaningful. They were the highlight of Oikawa’s day and he couldn’t wait to see you again.

Sooner or later he and Kota had started playing together on the weekends because if there was even a slight chance that he’d see you again, then he’d take it. Plus Kota wasn’t bad company. Oikawa had always been fond of the kid, he saw the same loneliness in Kota that he had in himself.

Whenever you came to come pick Kota up you always greeted the both of them with a smile. With the way you looked at Oikawa anyone could tell that you liked the man. Soon enough, you two waved goodbye and left the park.

Kota wanted to leave it alone...and he did for a few days but the weird feeling he got when he saw you two together looking at each other like that made him want to know. So he finally asked you what’s been on his mind.

“Do you like Oikawa?” You and Kota were walking home together hand in hand. An unconscious smile appeared on your face and maybe you weren’t aware of it but Kota saw it. And it left an uneasy feeling in him again.

“I like him. He’s a good person, though I get the feeling he’s hiding something but I hope that he’ll be comfortable to let me see someday. Now c’mon, you don’t want to miss volleyball right?” 

You dropped him off at practice and as Kota ran off to go to his friends, Oikawa came up to talk to you for a moment. Kota looked back at the two of you and the weird feeling from earlier came back to him. He didn’t know how to even explain how he felt other than...scared.

When you came back to pick him up he was still feeling weird. He didn’t like feeling like this. The next few days he couldn’t shake this feeling and he didn’t know what to do. 

As time went on the gross feeling never left Kota and you noticed his change in behavior but thought that he would talk to you when he was ready. “Kota? Do you want dinner?” He just shook his head and went to his room. Odd.

You decided to call your parents and talk to them about it, “I don’t know what’s happening. He was just starting to smile again but he hasn’t in the past few days...I think something happened but he won’t talk about it. Maybe he’d be better off somewhere else.” Little did you know that he was listening and he felt like time just stopped around him. 

The sudden noise of your front door slamming shut scared you. You said your goodbyes to your parents and went looking around. It was raining so maybe it was just the storm, “Kota?” You opened the door to his room only to see it was empty. 

You immediately ran out of your apartment after noticing Kota’s shoes weren’t there anymore. “Kota?!” you called out his name as you ran, not knowing where he would even go. Tears were streaming down your face at the thought of something happening to him. 

Suddenly you got a call on your phone from Oikawa, “Tooru I lost Kota I don’t know where he is or where he went!” your sobs could be heard through the cell phone and he could hear the hurt in your voice.

“Don’t worry, y/n. He’s with me at the park, the one where we have volleyball and he’s fine.” He heard you hang up the phone and in less than five minutes you were seen running towards the two of them.

Despite the ground being wet and hard, you slid onto your knees and took Kota into your arms, “Kota! I was so worried! Why would you run off like that?!” Kota pushed you away and wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Kota?”

Oikawa patted the kid’s head, “Don’t you think it’s time you told them? And you,” his eyes landed on you, “listen to what he says. He’s nervous and yelling won’t help right now.”

You watched as Kota looked up at you as he tried to say something but the words were struggling to leave his mouth. “Y/n please don’t get rid of me I promise to be good! I don’t want to be alone again!” He went in and hugged you, clinging to your clothes.

You held him as he cried, “Kota I love you so much I would never get rid of you!”

“But..but you said maybe it’d be better if I went somewhere else…” Did he overhear your conversation with your parents? You shook your head and held his face in your hands.

“Kota...that was because you seemed so sad again lately. I thought you didn’t like living with me so I thought that you’d might want to go somewhere else. But I would be so happy if you wanted to stay with me.” You kissed his tears away and picked him up as you stood. “Let’s go home, okay?” You then looked at Oikawa and gave him a smile and a slight bow before walking back home.

Once you thought Kota was asleep you called Oikawa, “What’s up y/n?”

You sat on your bed while you talked, “Just calling to thank you for today. I didn’t know what I would do if I lost him. So thank you for finding him.” He smiled listening to you speak.

“Don’t worry about it. Just be sure to keep talking to him. He’s quiet but...he’s holding a lot in.”

“You sound like you’re talking from experience.” You let out a breathy laugh but were met with silence on his end.

His eyes narrowed slightly before speaking his next words, “And what if I am?”

There was a brief silence between the two of you, “Then I’d let you know that it’s okay to lean on other people every once in a while. And that it’s okay to lean on me.”

His breathing was silent and you thought that maybe he had hung up. “Don’t be so serious y/n! I was only joking. Well, I have an early start tomorrow so I’m going to let you go. Good night, y/n.”

He hung up before you could even say goodbye back. Just when you thought you were having more than a surface-level moment, he goes back to playing around. You took a deep sigh, slightly hurt but also maybe you were overestimating your importance in his life.

“Y/n?” you looked over at your door to see Kota just barely poking his head in.

You just smiled at him and waved him in, “Can’t sleep?” He snuggled right up to you and shook his head no.

“I thought you sounded kind of sad so I came over.” The walls here must be really thin huh. But you just pulled him close and the both of you fell asleep together.

A few days later it was finally the weekend so Kota went to the park to see if Oikawa was there to play with him. Oikawa had been meeting up with the kid to watch him while he played. That scare really did a number on you so Oikawa thought the least he could do was watch him while you were busy. 

After an hour or so of playing together Kota asked what’s been on his mind ever since you and he had that conversation about the tall setter a while back, “Oikawa why do you seem different when it’s just you and me?” Oikawa let out a small laugh as he bumped it back, “Different? Different how?”

Kota tossed it up while not holding anything back, “You just seem lonely around others but at the same time it doesn’t feel like you want to get to know them. But I feel like you don’t hide things around me”

Oikawa had never felt so called out before, especially by a seven-year-old. “I think y/n would still like you if you let them get to know you. I mean, I still like you,” Oikawa just shook his head and focused on keeping the ball up. “I’m not confident they would but thank you, Kota. I like you too.”

The two of them played for a bit longer before Oikawa asked Kota a question, “How would you feel if I took y/n from you?” the ball dropped onto the ground as Kota just stood there with a look of pure fear evident on his face. “No! Please don’t take them!” Oikawa almost regretted asking him the question, “I don’t want to lose y/n!” His heart shattered at his words and before he knew it Kota was being held tight in his arms, “Don’t worry Kota, I promise I won’t take them.”

Oikawa soon walked Kota back to your apartment once the sun started to set. Kota immediately ran to you as soon as he opened the door and you gave him a nice big hug, “Oh, welcome home!”

Welcome home. It was a simple greeting but he hadn’t heard it in years. The thought of you greeting him like that after a long day...it was something he could only long for. “You’re staying for dinner right, Tooru?”

How could he say no? Dinner went along just fine and soon enough Kota fell asleep in your lap as the three of you watched some cartoons with him. Oikawa’s eye never left you as you set Kota down in bed.

“Sorry ‘bout that. He always falls asleep at the most random times.” You flipped off the TV and went to get up to clean but was quickly pulled down onto the ground with Oikawa on top of you with both hands beside your head.

Your eyes locked with his, his clouded with a mixture of emotions. He wanted to take you and keep you only for himself. “I think they would still like you.”  How he wanted to believe that was true. 

He wanted your kindness and the soft and gentle feeling you gave him whenever you spoiled him but he also wanted to see you withering beneath him on the edge of tears. He leaned down and kissed you and you could feel the desperation in it. Both of you pulled away out of breath. He went to kiss you again but you stopped him before he could. “Tooru, Kota’s in the other room. We can’t do this here.”

It was brief but you saw a look of hurt run across his face. He got off of you and stood up. “Sorry, y/n. I’ll see you sometime!” He quickly put his usual smile back on his face before leaving out the front door not even stopping to look at you as he left.

Oikawa walked home drowning in his thoughts. What the fuck was wrong with him? For a brief second, he forgot about everything else like it was only you and him. But you had Kota and Kota needed you. But the smile you showed him...the laughter you had...he hated this feeling. The feeling of having something so close but just barely being out of his reach.

Once he got home he curled himself in his bed, still possessed by thoughts of you. ‘I want them. I want them. I want them so bad.’ He held his head between his hands, ‘I want to be loved by y/n.’

Kota’s crying face suddenly flashed through his mind, “Please don’t take them!” and he knew he had to stop. He couldn’t do that to that boy.

Oikawa didn’t come back to volleyball lessons after that. You hadn’t seen him in a little over a week and it was starting to scare you. Your change in behavior started to worry your nephew and he started to feel somewhat guilty. 

Tears started to form in his eyes as you two sat at the table together, “Y/n.” He got out of his chair and came over to you to which you picked him up and sat him in your lap, “What’s wrong Kota?” The tears just wouldn’t stop coming out of his eyes as he tried to explain what was wrong.

“Oi-Oikawa and you aren’t talking, right? That’s why you’ve been so sad! Y/n doesn’t smile anymore and it’s my fault! I said something mean to him and said he couldn’t have you and now he’s angry...I’m sorry, y/n!”

Your heart ached at his words. You held him tight against you until he calmed down, “Shh Kota it’s okay. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, do you understand? Oikawa isn’t angry I promise you that. He knew you’d answer like that because he knows how much I love you.” His sniffles got quieter and quieter as you spoke. “I love you so much Kota but I also...like Oikawa too. Would it be okay if I fell in love with him?”

Kota nodded his head into your chest and got off of your lap, “Okay because I like Oikawa too. Please find him.” You ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead. “Thank you, Kota. Please know that this doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less, rather, my love for the both of you will be doubled.”

The next day when you went to drop off Kota at volleyball you talked to some of the other instructors there and they told you where Oikawa lived. You thanked them and went on your way hoping that it wasn’t too late.

You finally found his apartment and knocked on the door in front of you hoping that he’d answer it. The door slowly opened to reveal a disheveled Oikawa. “Y/n, What are you doing here?” His voice was cold and emotionless and his eyes seemed like they were just looking through you instead of at you. You could cry seeing him in this state. You couldn’t hold yourself back before lunging at him for a hug. But you weren’t met with a warm welcome.

“What, I kiss you once and you want me? You must be so easy huh. Bet you’d do it with anyone that showed you any amount of affection.” The words just...came out. It hurt him so much to say them but Kota...he couldn’t bear for Kota to cry because of him.

But you wouldn’t let go. “That’s not what you really think. I know it isn’t. I love Kota so much and I’ll always be praying for his happiness but I love you as well and want nothing more than for your happiness too. Please don’t think that I can’t love you both. You’re always holding back how you feel and your true self may be selfish and stubborn, but Oikawa is Oikawa through and through and I’ll always love every aspect of you. I know I don’t know everything about you but you don’t know everything about me either. I want to be with you and Kota does too! So will you please stay?”

You held onto him as if your life depended on it and slowly he raised his arms to hug you back. Tears streamed down his face and he held you as close to him as he could. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m so sorry. I love you too.”

You had told Oikawa that your parents had picked Kota from volleyball and he was staying at their house. “Is it really okay to send him off like that?” Oikawa couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about making him feel like he needed to leave.

“Kota actually said he wanted to go visit them. When I said it was okay he refused to take no for an answer.” you chuckled at your nephew’s clumsiness. But he was a good kid and you loved him for it.

Oikawa came up behind you and snaked his arms around your waist, “He’s a sweet kid.” He kissed you tenderly and slowly you two made your way into your bedroom. 

Every touch from you was like a drug leaving him only wanting more. That night was filled with nothing but gentle touches and soft kisses. And he absolutely couldn’t get enough of it. Enough of you. “I love you, y/n” he wiped the tears that left your eyes as you laid under him. You leaned into his touch and kissed his warm hand, “I love you too.”

The next day Oikawa went to go pick Kota up while you went to go get some groceries for dinner and Kota immediately clung to Oikawa’s leg upon seeing him, “I’m so sorry Oikawa! Please don’t leave again.” Oikawa picked him up and threw him into the air a bit to cheer him up. “Don’t worry Kota, it’s not your fault. Y/n talked some sense into me so I won’t be going anywhere.”

The two of them walked in the door and were welcomed by you, the person that they both loved the most, with a smile on your face.

“Welcome home you two!”