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7-wonders · 2 months ago

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Seeing Ghosts

Dr. Jack Abbot x psychiatrist!reader (gender-neutral)

Summary: A case hits too close to home for you. Jack wants you to know you're not alone.

Word count: 1.9k

A note from the author: "I'm just going to write a little blurb," I say to myself. "Fucking liar!" my laptop yells at me.

I don't even know what I'm doing with this but I'm watching The Pitt and cannot get this old man out of my head! If you're reading this, I sincerely hope you enjoy!

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts

You’re on night rotations for the first time in years, taking over for Dr. Gibbons who’s out on paternity leave. Night shift has been kind to you with a fairly easy workload as your body gets adjusted to a completely opposite sleep-wake schedule, but tonight, you’re called down to the ER for a 5150. 20 y/o male, brought to the ER after his roommate found him with cuts to his wrists. He's crying as his wrists are tended to, so sure that some unseen entity is on the phone with Pitt's admissions office right now to get his scholarships revoked.

You recognize him, this young overachiever who has the weight of the world on his shoulders for no real reason other than that he feels it will all collapse if he's not the one to hold it up. Not because you've met him before. You recognize him because, at one point in time, he was you.

One of your favorite parts about your job is getting to truly connect with your patients, and you feel that one of the best ways to do that is by meeting them at their level. Sitting next to them, giving them your first name and insisting they call you by that, and, if they allow for it, holding their hands. You catch a fair amount of shit for it from other doctors (mainly those for whom psychiatry isn't their specialty), but there's a reason why your patient satisfaction scores are so high. You know what you're doing, and you know how to accomplish a positive outcome, so when Shaun Gold takes your outstretched hand, you know you've got an in.

“I understand, that you feel like you’re alone in how you’re feeling right now. But can I tell you a secret?" He nods, and you tighten your grip on his hand. "You're not alone. So many people have felt the exact same way. I have felt the exact same way."

"You have?" Shaun's face opens up at this revelation, seeing in front of him a successful (-ish) doctor who's also battled the lowest of the lows.

"Yep. And I'm not here to tell you that I never feel the way I did then anymore, because I would be lying to you. But I have the right skills now to help me combat those feelings. Therapy, and coping tools, and medication. That's what I'm trying to do for you here. Give you the proper skills so that you can be the best possible version of yourself. And maybe one day, you'll be in my position, helping to give hope to somebody who needs it. So?" You squeeze his hand, smiling when he squeezes back. "Can we help you?"

Shaun agrees, and you get him safely transferred up to your ward with a schedule laid out and a promise that you'll be back in an hour. A favorable outcome, which is all that one can ask for in this career. But it doesn't change the heaviness in your chest, which continues to press down on you even after you're back down in the ER to discuss potential care plans with Ellis. Throwing yourself back into work is normally your trick to get your mind off of a tough case—it's not the healthiest coping mechanism, but mental health is nothing if not a balancing act—and you're left searching for relief. Where's a physician to go when everything feels a little too...much? Your fellow dayshifter clued you in on just the place.

The roof of PTMC is quiet at this time of night, no incoming or outgoing medical flights interrupting your stolen moment of peace. Almost immediately, you can see why Robby finds so much comfort in being up here. Leaning against the railing, having the cool breeze on your face and watching cars crawl through the streets of Pittsburgh like ants in an ant farm...it may not comfort you, exactly, but it does help to calm you down enough that you can focus on the things you would tell a patient in your position to do: deep breathing and grounding.

From behind you comes the sound of the rooftop door opening and closing and your slow exhale turns into a harsh sigh, assuming that it's some medical student coming to find you about a drunk experiencing hallucinations. Do people not remember how to use a pager anymore?

"Fancy seeing you up here." You'd be able to pick Jack Abbot's voice out of a crowd of hundreds, and it's no different now when he's standing behind you. Your shoulders, which you hadn't realized tensed up at the threat of being pulled back to work before you're ready, loosen up almost immediately.

It was naive of you to think that Jack wouldn't have picked up on anything out of the ordinary in any of the doctors on the clock tonight. He and Robby are two of the best ER attendings in the state for many reasons, but the way that they look out for those on their teams is one of them. Ellis probably snitched, you think, before realizing that you're not giving Jack nearly enough credit for his intuitiveness.

"I've heard so much about this 'trick' from Robby, figured now was the perfect time to try it out. Sorry to steal your hiding spot," you call out, keeping your eyes focused on the lights of PNC Park in the distance.

"I'm not going to ask you if you're alright, because god knows I would hate if someone came up here, interrupted my moment of peace, and asked the same." You can't help the smile that appears on your face. "But I am...here. Y'know, just in case you feel like talking."

You recognize this language, and it makes you chuckle. "Who's the psychiatrist here?"

"Not me, thankfully."

"Saw a ghost downstairs," you supply, still staring determinedly ahead. "I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing, at separating my work life from my personal life. But every so often, a certain case comes in that just...hits too close to home."

"I completely understand."

What Jack doesn't tell you is that, the moment you saw your ghost in that student, he saw his own ghost in you. He often hears negative feedback from those in the ivory tower about how he could stand to be a little more caring to, well, everybody. Though Robby hosts some of the worst patient reviews, he has more than a few of his own.

But who the hospital administration hears from is the bad seeds. Drunk idiots, antivaxxer mothers, bigots who think they can get away with snide comments to members of the staff—the types of people for whom complaining is in their blood. They're more than happy to fill out the survey provided to them with their discharge instructions, flaming everything and everything about the hospital—but especially about Dr. Abbot, who has been called anything from "gruff and unapproachable" to "a raging asshole."

He doesn't do this for them, though. He does it for the people that can actually benefit from his help, those who likely won't fill out a survey. The young parent frantically making sure that every test and procedure for their sick child is covered by Medicaid before consenting. The unhoused man being treated on his fingers for frostbite (and who will find a warm, sturdy pair of gloves tucked with his discharge paperwork).

The veteran fresh off a tour of duty and having her first real bout of PTSD.

You found yourself caught off guard by how close you felt to this case, and in that moment, he saw himself in you.

"I've been that student before—still am, sometimes," you admit quietly, knowing Jack will still hear it. "I was always too scared of what would happen to me if people found out I was feeling this way. I was sure that I'd be judged by everyone, but especially by doctors. I had no reason to feel that way, of course, but I didn't know any better at the time. I think that's why this case got to me; I needed him to hear me, to know for certain that he wasn't alone in his feelings and that he had friends in those who would be taking care of him."

Jack's silent, but you know that's not a bad thing. When he finally speaks, his voice is closer than it was when he first joined you on the roof. "I think that's what distinguishes good doctors from great doctors. Good doctors study hard, perform quality work, and genuinely care for their patients. But the great doctors are those who allow their experiences to fuel them. Who go through pain, or heartbreak, or grief, and use those feelings to guide their work and how they treat those that come under their care. And you, my friend, are a damn great doctor."

"Thanks, Jack." You don't say what you want to, which is that he's describing himself, too. The man's trying to teach a lesson, after all, and you've seen his disdain when his lessons have been hijacked before.

"Got any plans after work?" he asks.

"Besides still trying to get used to working nights?"

He chuckles. "Can't help you there. But if you're not feeling like the walking dead come seven, I know a great diner in the area. We can share some more ghost stories, maybe. Only condition is that you can't divulge the location after we go, no matter how much you may want to sing its praises. I can't go having my favorite breakfast spot overrun by interns and residents, after all."

It's a good thing that you're still facing away from Jack, because you wouldn't be able to school your face to some neutral expression fast enough. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't carried a bit of a torch for Jack for a while—the kind of crush that's easy to sustain when you work opposite shifts and your interactions are in stolen five-minute interactions before your shift ends and his begins. If this were day shift, you know Dana would be teasing you endlessly and going on about the betting pool that's allegedly been steadily gaining money since you volunteered to temporarily move to nights.

("Garcia has twenty on you both being too chicken to make a move before Gibbons returns from paternity leave," Dana whispered to you last week when she was supposed to be giving you a status update on the Kraken before clocking out for the night. "Don't give her a win."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you claimed, cheeks burning as you focused on reading from the tablet in your hands.)

"Let me guess, the VFW?" you tease.

"Nah, their pancakes suck."

On your next exhale, when the heaviness in your chest seems to have finally abated, you turn around to face Jack. He's closer than you thought he would be, a couple of feet away at most. Close enough that you can see the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles at you. "Alright, we can go to your super secret breakfast spot. But I'm expecting world-class waffles, deal?"

"Deal."

When Jack wraps an arm around your shoulders in a loose hug, he doesn't put it down again until right before the elevator doors open on the ER. You don't mind in the slightest.

#jack abbot x reader #jack abbott x reader #the pitt fanfic #the pitt x reader #jack abbot fanfic #jack abbot x you #dr jack abbot x reader #dr jack abbot x you #asking myself while I was writing this: what would dr Charles from Chicago Med do?

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jjkarmy091 · 6 months ago

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Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that.

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.

“what’s all this?”

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn��t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back”

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.

“No”

“care to explain why?”

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you”

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.”

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?”

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.”

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying”

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me? The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.”

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject.

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I- we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?”

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.

I love you.”

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh.

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?”

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden

“Together how?”

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?”

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!"

Always the second, never the chosen, as always.

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As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away. Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours.

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof.

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side.

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear.

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing.

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?”

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting.

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice."

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never.

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--"

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!”

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.”

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter.

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?” Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that”

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed.

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

#jungkook #angst #jungkook imagines #bts #imagines #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #fluff #kpop angst #bts angst #jeon jungkook

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wisteria-lodge · 4 months ago

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Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are not interchangeable.

(OR: Why Rosencrantz is the dumb one.)

Okay. First, their character introduction:

GERTRUDE. Your visitation shall receive such thanks As fits a king’s remembrance. [she's paying them to spy on Hamlet.] ROSENCRANTZ. Both your Majesties Might, by the sovereign power you have of us, Put your dread pleasures more into command Than to entreaty. [Not a great opening move. What Rosencrantz is saying IS true, the King and Queen COULD just force them to do whatever. But why remind them of this, and risk upsetting them (and risk not getting paid??) ] GUILDENSTERN. But we both obey, And here give up ourselves in the full bent To lay our service freely at your feet, To be commanded. [Guildenstern covers up Rosencrantz's faux pas, lays on the flattery, and is just much more politic with his 'thank you so much! We're so happy to be here! I am here to support your version of events 100%, whatever it ends up being!']

They later meet up with Hamlet, and at first there's an easy back and forth. Hamlet is friendly, happy to see then. But then Hamlet describes his situation as a "prison"... a red flag which Guildenstern immediately picks up on.

GUILDENSTERN. Prison, my lord? HAMLET. Denmark’s a prison. ROSENCRANTZ. [doesn't get it] Then is the world one. HAMLET. A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and dungeons, Denmark being one o’ th’ worst. ROSENCRANTZ. [STILL doesn't get it] We think not so, my lord. HAMLET. Why, then, ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. To me, it is a prison. ROSENCRANTZ. Why, then, your ambition makes it one. ’Tis too narrow for your mind. [COMPLETELY wrong, as Hamlet is about to tell him.] HAMLET. O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams. GUILDENSTERN. Which dreams, indeed, are ambition. [Guildenstern is again stepping in to cover for Rosencrantz, by saying... okay, that comment wasn't THAT stupid, since 'dream' and 'ambition' can mean the same thing] For the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream. [and I've got some additional thoughts: how can dreams and ambitions imprison you, if they're not real?] HAMLET. [Okay, I'll play, I'll bite.] A dream itself is but a shadow. [I'm talking about bad dreams specifically. A nightmare, like a shadow, isn't 'real' - but it can still affect you.] ROSENCRANTZ. Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that it is but a shadow’s shadow. [I'm not ambitious! I go with the flow! Wheeee!]

When Hamlet accuses them of spying, it's Guildenstern who asks "What should we say, my lord?" He's giving Hamlet a politic non-answer... what's your game, tell me what you want and maybe I'll do it. But then Rosencrantz starts asking Guildenstern what they're supposed to do... totally giving the game away... which is when Guildenstern makes the call for both of them, and confesses.

Which sets up one of my favorite jokes in the play, because it's just so dumb. Hamlet LOVES it when people are honest with him, so Guildenstern confessing seems to have... unlocked some extra emotional honestly, and Hamlet goes into the "What a piece of work is man" speech, just pouring his heart out, until:

HAMLET. ...what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me, ⟨no,⟩ nor women neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so. ROSENCRANTZ. My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts. HAMLET. Why did you laugh, then, when I said “man delights not me”?

Hamlet is doing his Hamlet thing. Rosencrantz doesn't get it. He's zoning out. But it sounds like maybe Hamlet is wrapping up, and and then Rosencrantz comes back in right at the end, only to hear him say "Man delights not me."

And giggles.

Because "Man delights not me [anymore]" sounds... kinda gay.

So Hamlet has to roll his eyes and be like oh my god I've ALSO stopped being delighted by woman.

Like that's the joke right? If there is another way to interpret this joke I want to know.

Then, in the next scene, R & G check back in with Claudius to make their first report. Rosencrantz says "[Hamlet] does confess he feels himself distracted/but from what cause he will by no means speak." (He said he feels weird but didn't say why.) Guildenstern comes in with the actually useful thing: "But with a crafty madness keeps aloof/when we would bring him into some confession/of his true state." (Hamlet is 100% faking, because he doesn't want to deal with people.) Which is, y'know. Correct.

I want to skip ahead to after Hamlet's climatic play, where R & G show up with the message that Queen Gertrude is angry with Hamlet, and wants to talk to him. This is very much Guildenstern's scene. He's the one who delivers the message, he's the one who has the back-and-forth with Hamlet about the recorder, culminating in Hamlet's "Do you think I'm easier to be played on than a pipe?" It's such a modern insult I love it. "Do you think you can play me? You can't even play a pipe." But of course that's the insult Hamlet gives Guildenstern, who is at least trying to play the game.

The only part of the scene where Rosencrantz talks is this:

ROSENCRANTZ. Then thus she says: your behavior hath struck her into amazement and admiration. [Hamlet already has this information, Guildenstern already told him. Rosencrantz seems to actually think that the only reason Hamlet isn't coming is because he doesn't understand what to do.] HAMLET. O wonderful son that can so ’stonish a mother! [*Deliberately* misunderstanding Rosencrantz. Making fun of... the way Rosencrantz tends to misunderstand things] But is there no sequel at the heels of this mother’s admiration? Impart. ROSENCRANTZ. She desires to speak with you in her closet ere you go to bed. HAMLET. We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have you any further trade with us? [This switch into the plural pronouns, and shift in register means that he is MASSIVELY pulling rank on Rosencrantz. It's an insult. Hamlet is saying "Why are you wasting my time?"] ROSENCRANTZ. My lord, you once did love me. (... ) what is your cause of distemper? You do surely bar the door upon your own liberty if you deny your griefs to your friend. [I find this line heartbreaking, because it's honest. Rosencrantz really, authentically, does not get it. Hamlet was his friend, and now he's not. Something is bothering Hamlet, and he doesn't know what. And that's as far as he can go.]

The last bit I want to look at is the final solo interaction R & G have with Hamlet before he kills them (spoilers.)

HAMLET. (...) to be demanded of a sponge, what replication should be made by the son of a king? [Back to pulling rank] ROSENCRANTZ. Take you me for a sponge, my lord? [Doesn't get it] HAMLET. Ay, sir, that soaks up the King’s countenance, his rewards, his authorities. (...) When he needs what you have gleaned, it is but squeezing you, and, sponge, you shall be dry again. [When Hamlet insults Guildenstern it's - you're trying to play the game but you're bad at it. His insult to Rosencrantz is - you sponge. you don't have a single original thought or impulse in your head. Everything in there is something someone else put there, and the only reason the King keeps you around is to use you.] ROSENCRANTZ. I understand you not, my lord. [Doesn't get it.] HAMLET. I am glad of it. A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear. [Directly calling Rosencrantz a fool.] ROSENCRANTZ. My lord, you must tell us where the body is and go with us to the King. [Doesn't know what to do, reverting back to just doing his job, therefore proving Hamlet's point.] HAMLET. The body is with the King, but the King is not with the body. The King is a thing— [Hamlet is doing a Hamlet, riffing on the idea that Claudius isn't really king, etc.] GUILDENSTERN. A “thing,” my lord? [Guildenstern hasn't actually said anything in a second. And this line... always feels cold to me. Cold, and a little angry. Because Hamlet is insulting the king by calling him a "thing," after he just insulted Rosencrantz by calling him an object. Rosencrantz didn't pick up on that... but GUILDENSTERN did. "Thing" is also slang for dick - Hamlet is calling the king a dick - and there might be an undercurrent of "is this really the time for dick jokes?"] HAMLET. Of nothing. [This does continue the dick joke. Nothing = no thing = vagina (in shakespearean slang) So, yeah, Claudius is not only a dick, he's a... pussy (sigh.) Claudius is also "nothing" as in worthless ect, but I actually think this is a three-way pun, because Hamlet was also JUST talking about Rosencrantz having no substance. Being "nothing" in the sense that he's an extension of Claudius, the "thing of nothing."

So yeah. It's Shakespeare. Ending the scene on a viciously insightful three-way pun... that is also a dick joke.

#hamlet #shakespeare stuff #hamlet close reading #rosencrantz and guildenstern #rosencrantz #guildenstern

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entamesubs · 3 months ago

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Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush!! Episode 151 Sub Release (END)

Torrent

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Please make sure to read the FAQ if you have any questions.

Thank you for three years of Go Rush!! There are notes from the team under this cut alongside the translation notes.

These three years have been a blast, and I hope you enjoy the last episode as much as we did!

Go Rush!!

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"Wings and Courage"

Yuuhi and Yuamu's names in Japanese are written as 遊飛 and 遊歩, respectively. The first kanji in their name is the standard Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonist yuu- (meaning "game"). The second kanji is what Yuudias refers to when he calls them his wings and courage.

Yuuhi's second kanji is 飛, meaning "to fly". Meanwhile, Yuamu's second kanji is 歩, meaning "to walk". By flying with Yuuhi's wings and walking forward with Yuamu's courage, Yuudias is complete.

遊天亜守 Yuudei Asu

Yuudias' old-timey name as revealed at the end is Yuudei Asu, complete with kanji. Altogether, the kanji seem to have mainly been picked just as a way to "spell out" the sound of "Yuudias" rather than for meaning.

However, if there's anyone that can wrangle meaning out of a couple mismatched kanji, it's me.

遊 - play, game 天 - sky, heavens 亜 - next, sub- 守 - guard, protector

This can be read, liberally, as "cosmic protector of games" or, more simply, by taking out the yuu- kanji that every Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonist has, "defender of the cosmos".

-------------------------------

Messages from the entameSubs Team

"i love you go rush and yuamu you will always be famous to me" - Tessa (aka batsugeemu, proofreader and pinch translator)

"Thank you for watching Yu-Gi-Oh! Sevens and Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush with our subtitles. I remember being six and watching Duel Monsters episodes split into three parts on Youtube--I never could have imagined actually working on any of the series myself. Even so, I'm really grateful for the past five years with entamesubs. I made irreplaceable friends, and my Japanese, which I had only learned lightly as a hobby, was able to help spread a series I love with so many people, and grow into a skill I'm proud to have. It's strange to think of a future filled with weekends without a new episode to watch or work on, but my love for Yu-Gi-Oh will never die! Until the next series, let's rush, rush, go rush!" - Yona (aka angelthinktank, proofreader and translator)

"one last pu-puku-pu" - Quas (aka quasthecat, quality checker)

"Rest easy yall knowing Yuga and the crew got their happy ending while Otes lived out his dumb old man life at the mercy of kuaidul" - Merlin (aka merlinwizaa, timer)

-------------------------------

At the end of a long five year journey, my work on Yu-Gi-Oh! SEVENS and Go Rush!! has now come to an end.

I don't quite know how to put my feelings into words, but first let me express my gratitude. Rush era Yu-Gi-Oh! saved my life in more ways than one, and has let me meet new friends and create wonderful memories with many people. Every episode that went by, and every week that passed as I worked on this series was a blast. My Japanese has improved considerably since I began, and I was able to flex my own writing muscles with the over-the-top summon chants that I always enjoy translating.

I remember being one of the only people that kept holding onto belief that Go Rush would get a third year - a belief that turned out to be true in December of 2023. It has been so very exciting to work on Go Rush and share my joy and passion with others.

In a similar vein to one of Arthur's tweets, aka the VA of Yuudias, I kept thinking to myself "once I type this last line, once I translate this final word, it'll all be over". At the push of a publish button, my work as part of [entameSubs] will come to a warm and bittersweet end.

Yuudias and the cast of Go Rush have truly been my sources of joy for the past three years, and I am sad to see them go. I am overwhelmed with emotion about the implications of the final episode, as Yuudias endured 500 long years to meet with the twins again.

I have cried in the middle of translating, and even while I was writing this, I delayed the final word of my translation just a little so it won't be "over" just yet.

As someone who has been watching Yu-Gi-Oh! live as it aired in Japan since 5Ds, I have to say this is the most emotional ending that has ever affected me so much in a Yu-Gi-Oh!. I am overcome with an appreciation and fondness for Go Rush, and it has become my absolute most favorite Yu-Gi-Oh!, bar none. And I have seen every single one without fail.

Once again, thank you for three years of Go Rush! Until the day I die, this series will stick with me into forever. The people I have met, the journey I have been on alongside these characters, growing up with them, and of course the entameSubs team has been a great source of happiness. I will miss all of it.

My fellow Go Rush countrymen! Let us meet again!

- Ciel (aka "entame", the main translator and head of entameSubs)

#yugioh #yugioh go rush #go rush #ygo go rush #go rush spoilers #entamesubs release #E151 #once this post appears on the feed it really will be over #how bittersweet it is to hit the post now button for the last time #thank you go rush #kitto mata au

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utilitycaster · 8 months ago

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this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

#posts you make when you realize you haven't revisited politics and the english language since high school and probably should #but your greatest platform is your actual play and similar fantasy nerd shit blog #cr spoilers #cr tag #what has struck me about people in the fandom who are the best meta writers (other than myself; can't really be objective there)#is that they have unique and individual voices and they're often in agreement but usually voice their thoughts differently from each other #and a lot of really dumb posts will all use nearly identical language and double down on it without providing an actual defense #see: girlfailure

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daisywrites101 · 3 months ago

Note

I was hoping to request a house doc where have an on and off thing between them and it come to a night where House just admit how he truly feels about the reader(could be good or bad feelings☺️)

Feelings

Gregory House X Reader

Warnings: Kinda soft House, mention of hooking up

Author's Note: I am so sorry I'm just getting onto this! There have been a lot of things going on, but I am finally getting to a point where I am liking to write again. I absolutely adore this idea with House. I hope that you enjoy it!

You and House's relationship is.... quite complicated. Ever since you started working at Princeton-Plainsboro, he has basically been attached to you at the hip, similar to how him and Wilson are. You and House, recently, had an on and off thing after the two of you had one too many drinks. After that, however, it became a pretty frequent thing. At first it was the occasional hook up after a hard day at work, but after awhile it was more than just a random hookup, for you at least. You would get up the next morning and brew a pot of coffee for the both of you to share, even if he woke up after you. You would even make breakfast for the both of you before the two of you needed to head into work sometimes.

At work House would be his sarcastic and pessimistic self, but he seemed to change once the two of you were alone in either one of your apartments. Would he still be sarcastic? Yes, of course, but he was a lot less negative. You wondered why he acted differently, yet you could not ask him for the life of you.

After another long day at the hospital, you had gotten home and were already curled in bed with a novel you had been reading. Tonight was one of those nights where you and House decided that you needed some alone time, as the two of you had been hooking up the past few nights. This meant that you were not going to see him for another month outside of work. That is usually how it went, and it honestly sucked. He made it so easy to like him, despite what others may think. You have grown to love the sound of him playing piano when he thinks that you are asleep in his bed, the snores that come from him when you wake up earlier in the morning to sneak out of the apartment before Wilson could pick him up before work, and so much more when it came to Gregory House. Soft knocking can be heard from the front door of your apartment. You looked over at the clock on your bedside table and it read the time 12:34 am.

You hesitantly get out of bed and pull on a silk robe over the pajama shirt and pants that you currently adorned. You trudge your way to the door when there is another set of knocks. Without really thinking about it, you open the door and see House standing at your door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. "Greg, what are you doing here so late?" You question then glance down at the flowers that are currently in his hand. "And how did you manage to get flowers at this hour?” You mention and he simple pushes past you with ease. You turn back to look at him, closing the door. He walks into your living room like he lives there. You follow him into your living room with a perplexed look on your face. He was unusually quiet, and he seemed to be stumped by something in his mind. That’s usually the only time that he becomes quiet. here lately he had been avoiding you at work, more focused on bothering the other doctors on his team and Wilson, and giving you crazy tasks that will take you hours to complete. He finally makes eye contact with you after placing the flowers on the coffee table and clearing his throat.

“I usually wouldn’t do something like this, but I can’t pretend that I do not care anymore. I could keep distancing myself like I always have and keep making fun of you, but the truth is I notice too much. I notice you the moment you walk into the room, as soon as you leave, how long you’ve been gone. I’ve spent years convincing myself I need no one, and I almost believed it.” He pauses for a moment and you step closer to him. You say nothing, and honestly you are dumbfounded by how vulnerable he was being right now. “Look, I am not good with this whole emotional, touchy-freely crap, but I feel different when I am around you. I think about you way too often, and I hate how much I need to have you around.” He pauses again when he realizes just how close you’ve gotten as he was speaking. Your heart is fluttering in your chest at his words, and you hope that you are not dreaming right now. Instead of letting him continue to blab when he takes a breath, you press your lips to his in a soft kiss. For a moment, but only a moment, he stands there in shock, but he eventually melts into the kiss. Before things get a bit too heated, you pull away. “You know you could have told me about your feelings sooner.” You say with a smirk, and he rolls his eyes dramatically as always. “That’s easy for you to say. I don’t see you putting everything out there like I just did.” He admits.

“That may be true,” you pause and pick up the flowers on the table, “but I am glad that you did.” You finish with a smile before he leans down and kisses you once more.

#house md #greg house x reader #gregory house #greg house #greg house fluff #gregory house fluff

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charmedreincarnation · 2 years ago

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I shifted using the void state!

I'm getting straight to the point because I know people don't like long success stories, but I used these two posts to finally shift to my desired reality and manifest my dream life.

Rotten’s Practical Guide to Shifting Realities

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zgrhCYyct7xV4j7d7qYFcoO8bAMx5Jqdb3NGoO81Oqs/edit

Reddit Post: The Power of the Void State

https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/s/XMIo5TPYlM

Anyways, when I learned about the void state on Reddit, I was instantly captivated. I mean, who wouldn't be? The idea of not only using it for shifting but also manifesting my dream life for myself and my family felt like a dream come true. That's when I came across the second post I shared about the void state, and eventually, the first document I shared. They were incredibly informative and completely changed my perspective on shifting and the law of the universe.

I went on to stalk many of the recommended success stories on Reddit, exploring posts and comment sections that mentioned you. You seemed to be a common denominator in their journeys, helping them shift or guiding them with your posts. It made me happy to see your positive influence, even though your posts were from years ago and it seemed like you no longer have an account. Unfortunately, many other creators' posts were either inactive or banned due to Reddit's strict rules which is really annoying.

However, someone made a post about you, and one of your friends ended up commenting with your Tumblr account. So, I gathered a lot of valuable information from your account and a few others (like Fleur, Pink, Rem, Sexy Dream Girl, etc.) on Tumblr.

I must say, the Tumblr shifting and void community is miles ahead of Reddit and Amino. I was shocked that I hadn't come across this community before. Reddit is just starting to talk about the Law of assumption and the void, whereas you guys have been immersed in it for years. I even encountered some misconceptions on Reddit, where people still think the void can only be used for shifting and not for waking up in a whole new life. 🙄

Regardless, finding this app was the motivation I needed, and I discovered so much valuable information. I ended up using your theta wave method, combined with the first Reddit post I sent, to enter the void and shift to my dr. It's truly mind-blowing how easy it all was.

I can vouch for this process. All you need are the two Reddit posts I shared, as the guide is highly regarded within the shifting community, along with a few trustworthy Tumblr bloggers. I've been part of the shifting community since 2017, so I've seen it all, and I managed to shift within just two and a half weeks of finding these resources. Even though I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, I realized it doesn't have to hinder your journey.

I wanted to share my experience here, and I might make a post on Reddit too. However, they have become stricter with success stories due to anti-troll measures, and it takes weeks to even months for anything to be processed. So, I wanted to share my journey here first.

I also recommend this: https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/s/daFCQdyHim because it helped me understand what shifting really is. Manifesting too!

Lastly I'm 26 years old, and I've noticed that Reddit tends to have a more adult audience compared to Tumblr. At first, it felt nice to be surrounded by fellow adults discussing shifting. On the other hand, seeing Tumblr mostly filled with teens and younger adults made me wonder if it's easier for them, especially without the weight of responsibilities that often come with age.

But let me tell you, age is not a factor that determines our success in shifting. Whether you're 13 or 55, it doesn't matter. This is something we can all engage in, no matter our age.

Sure, there might be some challenges that come with getting older. As we accumulate more life experiences, doubts tend to creep in, and we become more logical. But guess what? Those doubts and logical thinking don't define our ability to shift realities. They are simply hurdles for us to overcome.

Hi love! I've spent some time going through all the resources you shared, and they've been incredibly helpful! Actually i have seen that guide in so many places, and it's truly enlightening. Thank you for sharing these amazing tools with us!

And yes, I wholeheartedly agree with what you said. age and doubt really do have no place in our journey they really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

I used to engage with @theastralplaneandbeyond5487 on Amino and Reddit too. He also has an informative YouTube channel and is in his 50s, I believe. His experiences and insights are rlly helpful and further show that age is just a number in this journey.

His journey showed me that we can do whatever we we want , regardless of our age. It's a beautiful reminder that we're all capable of creating and experiencing whatever we want 🩵

Also omg my Reddit era in 2021 was so fun. I’m glad it’s still helping people though my views have definitely evolved :D!

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #reality shifting #shiftblr #void success

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heavenescent · 1 month ago

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⋆˚꩜｡ june: monthly goals & how to achieve them

summer is officially here. there's no more time anticipating the deadline of bikini/glow-up season, and it came a lot faster than you thought. personally, i just finished my first year of uni and it went by quicker than i would've ever expected! i took a week to relax, but now it's time to pick myself back up. here's my top 3 monthly goals for june & some tips:

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GOAL ONE: get back to the gym!

.ᐣ - what does this mean for me?

i've been recovering from some pretty bad hip, back, and knee injuries from a car crash a little over a year ago, but i'm cleared now to go back to the gym! my body is the weakest it's ever been right now, so i've been getting back into being active by taking outdoor walks, not too difficult hikes, and gentle bodyweight exercises when i have the time. even at the gym, i take things easy by going on the elliptical (mainly to alleviate pressure on my knee) and stick to cardio. once i get my new car in a week, i'm excited to have the freedom to go to the gym again! i'lll be sure to blog about my fitness journey too!

.ᐣ - what does this mean for you?

being disciplined does not mean that you need to be depriving yourself of care. it's so easy to get sucked into toxic motivation and put your all at first, and then lose momentum because you wasted all your energy in the first couple weeks, or even days. i know the advice "be realistic with your goals" is pretty overused, so i like to say, "be firm, but be kind." if your body can't take it, there is no shame in taking a step back. don't be ashamed to let yourself rest, especially when getting started, or starting again. routines should be built to last, and you should not feel like death when you have to stick to them. understand that struggling with change is one thing, but struggling to live in that change is another.

if you feel awful about missing out on getting the summer body for this season, don't fret. even if there isn't realistically enough time to reach your goals, getting started now will feel infinitely better than continuing to push it off. aim to get those 10k steps a day to the best of your efforts. exercising isn't just something that keeps you fit physically, but it truly keeps you fit mentally as well. if you've got a case of summertime sadness, try listening to music or an audiobook on a calm walk. if you can't walk outside or on a machine, just keep yourself on your feet or moving your hands. learning a skill is a great way to stay active, both with your body and your mind.

i'll hopefully be making a complete beginner's guide to the gym soon, because it truly is the best once you get over that initial anxiety. i'll also make a guide to exercising at home in various settings, either living with parents, in an apartment, or with other roommates.

GOAL TWO: cut down on mindless screen time!

.ᐣ - what does this mean for me?

i won't lie... i think i'm one of the worst people i know in regards to screen time and phone usage. and i am ASHAMED of that fact. i used to think phone addiction would never affect me, but i spend nearly every free moment i have on a screen, mindlessly scrolling or consuming brainless, meaningless content. when unpacking the things i brought home from my dorm, i noticed i had a serious problem when instead of putting on music like i would normally do, i struggled to find an enticing enough youtube video to put on in the background. i was subconsciously afraid of being left alone with my own thoughts; i needed something in the background to narrate a controlled train of thought for me on a predetermined topic. in short, not good. for this month, i want to be more mindful of the time i spend online. i started this blog primarily to deal with this issue, and to keep myself accountable by having a place to track my habits. i also just really enjoy journaling and writing, and having a blog is already so therapeutic. instead of doomscrolling, i'll find physical media to interact with, or find knowledge on attaining my aspirations.

.ᐣ - what does this mean for me?

everyone seems to be so attached to their phones, but the way you use your social media is different. you aren't just doomscrolling with no purpose, you're finding tips on improving yourself, or inspiration on new ways to upgrade your personal style. all of this is fine, but the key word in this monthly goal is mindless. if anything, the goal should read: be more mindful about your screen time. be aware that even consuming positive content, such as scrolling through #self improvement can still reach a point of overconsumption. so then, what does it mean to be mindful? well, i think it's a little different for everyone, as most things are.

on one hand of the extreme, no one should ever be spending more than 12 hours a day on social media. on the other hand, i understand why some people can't justify spending less than an hour being on their phone. lifestyles are just too different to be offered a one-size-fits-all solution. so, instead of giving my own unjustified advice, i'd like to recommend a book i read recently:

Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy Digital World by Cal Newport

to be blunt: this book was incredibly eye-opening, and provides so much more context and solutions to achieving a healthy, balanced relationship and life with your electronics than i can try to muster in one tumblr post. i really cannot recommend this book enough, especially for those of you angels that want to live more presently, without the shackles of algorithms fighting to keep your attention.

GOAL THREE: get closer to finding the real you!

.ᐣ - what does this mean for me?

this is the most abstract goal on this list, and quite fitting for the last of the three main goals of the month. in a world with so much emphasis on finding what makes you individually unique, yet also finding the group or label that fits with that individuality, i have struggled to find something that is truly, authentically myself. over the years, i've come to accept that all the past, present, and future versions of myself (or who i think myself to be) are all me. but even with this in mind, i can't help but feel something nagging deep inside my soul that knows i'm not being authentically true to myself. outside of all the trends and niches, who am i? another reason why i started this blog is to really explore the intricacies of my entire personality, both what i appreciate about myself and what i need to work on improving. i hope that being consistent in my blogging, reflecting, and interacting with others helps me see my genuine interests and characteristics in a relatively anonymous space. please perceive me!

.ᐣ what does this mean for you?

i don't feel all that qualified in giving real advice for this, since it is genuinely just the blind leading the blind here, but i will leave some questions/advice that have helped me be more introspective:

if you were to die tomorrow, what would you be most proud of? you can't be negative or self-deprecating, be genuine. what good have you left in the world? amongst your family and friends, who would remember the impact you have left, and what would they say about it? i promise that even if you think there's absolutely nothing, there is something. think hard, and be kind to yourself.

describe yourself in 3 words, now describe the 3 defining characteristics of what you aspire to be like. how much of an overlap is there? how do your current defining characteristics connect with your desired characteristics? make note of how similar or different they are, and regardless of which it is, find the similarities in them anyways.

look through some pictures of yourself throughout the years. what are the common themes between your past and current aesthetics? even if they seem like they couldn't be any more different, find at least one similarity. the similarity could very well just be that they're popular or trendy at the time. take note of these similarities, and reflect on what this means you're drawn to.

i know these questions all seem pretty different and quite random, but really reflect on all your answers. and i mean reflect. write it down on paper, think it through, jot down all the thoughts as you ponder over each answer. thinking it inside your brain and getting it all down on paper are completely different, and being able to visually see what troubles you grounds you enough to think everything through more. thoughts can very easily get muddled and jumbled up in your head. get them out and reflect on them for the month. no matter what conclusions you come to, use them for good.

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i'll be sure to figure out a way to improve this really blocky formatting, but thank you for reading! i wish you all the best of luck!

love, kate

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cherryfennec · 2 years ago

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On the topic of Power-Ups, let's talk Fire Flower (personal headcanons under cut)!

The Fire Flower is one of, if not, the most known Power-Up from what I've seen. Even though I'm quite a fan of it myself I'll admit I never thought too much about it. So after giving it a good thought here's what I got:

General headcanons;

Fire Flowers are very adaptable plants, however they naturally originate from the Darklands, which so happen to be where they grow the most. The heat eminating from the magma is perfect for them to thrive during the initial stages. Since wielding fire isn't too rare of an ability for Koopas (more specifically some of the subspecies of Koopas) they're mostly perceived as weeds, so it's not much of an issue if someone plucks them. Unless you're an outsider. Something might be considered useless but it's a problem if the enemy wants to exploit it. Because of this a bunch of the main fields will have patrols just in case a mustachioed human, or two, happen to be sent to collect a supply. They usually consist of Fire Bros who protect and even tend to the flowers. Rumours say that with some luck it's possible for a normal Koopa to inherit fire abilities after being exposed to a Fire Flower for extended periods of time but it hasn't been scientifically confirmed.

The Fire Flower is a multiple use Power-Up. Once activated it lends it's energy to a single user, then proceeds to hibernate and slowly regain heat overtime. The process can be sped up exponentially by placing the flower near a heat source like lava or a fireplace.

Mario and Luigi specific headcanons;

It took some time for the brothers to initially get hang of releasing energy without overdoing it. It's easier to ignite something, rather than put it out. Eventually with some guidance from friendly koopas they managed to become respectable fire users. That is until the events of Superstar Saga happened.

For Mario, getting the Firebrand only enhanced his abilities. Focusing energy became very easy, a second nature even. Shaping fire, directing it, managing it's temperature. Easy peasy for a guy like him! It wasn't a suprise that the Fire Flower quickly became his favourite to use soon after. When used with the technique he can truly show off his mastery over the element!

Luigi however... got it rough. The Thunderhand, notable for giving it's user affinity for manipulating electricy, drastically reverted his progress. These two elements just unfortunately don't mix. The fire he started to produce was unpredictable and unstable. There was no guarantee if it'll fly in the right direction nor how much power it'll pack. He's been practicing ever since to not accidentally go overboard.

Mario's fire tips and tricks aren't helping too much but at least he's trying.

Some of the stuff I said here could change with me adding details in the future but right now this is the general idea. It might not be completely original but the thought of making this seemed fun. Thank you to whoever read this, I hope the blocks of text were understandable!

In conclusion the Fire Flower is one of the more reliable, common and useful Power-Ups. Getting a good amount of them can be a hassle but in the long run it's worth it, especially if they're used to make your own farm. It's uses can range from warming up the house to battling evil. Mario is the "fire master" of the group and Luigi, with the peculiar way magic reacts to him, is a walking proof of the statement: "elements don't mix".

Few bonus headcanons!

#super mario #mario #luigi #mario bros #myart #smb #mydesigns

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house-of-the-sun-project · 2 months ago

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[ HoS - Ask a God ] - Thoth Replies

I'm pleased to see your mind so full of questions, and rest assured! I’ll be more than happy to provide some enlightening answers! But in the interest of clarity, allow me to address them one at a time! You seem particularly interested in Set’s story. While I may hold the answers to your questions, I must warn you: Set is not fond of speaking about his past. Truth be told, it’s never easy to get him to open up about his feelings in general. But worry not! I’ll do my best to share all the knowledge I’ve gathered about him thus far! So, let us begin!

Question 1: Was Set "pregnant" after the lettuce incident?

The answer is… yes and no. You see, gods don’t reproduce the same way humans do. More often than not, gods like myself or Ra can use parts of our own bodies to create new beings, much like trees growing fruit from their branches! So, when Set ate the lettuce, a part of Horus merged with him, and together they brought forth a new god. Now… I’d love to elaborate further, but if Set finds out I said too much, I fear he’ll make me regret it!

Question 2: Was Set appointed as Ra’s heir after what Isis did to the Sun God?

I assume you're referring to the story in which Isis learns Ra’s secret name and gains power over him, correct? If so, then the answer is no. He was chosen after Osiris passed into the Duat, the Underworld.

Question 3: Did Set catch Nephthys cheating on him with Osiris? Did they even love each other?

Now, while I can’t say exactly what Set felt for Nephthys (he never really opened up about it) I can tell you that there was always a certain tension between them, as they were as different as day and night. But to be completely honest, he was never cruel toward her. When he discovered the affair with Osiris, he simply asked for a divorce and moved on. Nephthys once told me that they used to live peacefully, but their hearts and minds were never truly aligned... And that’s why they eventually had to part ways.

Question 4: Is Set evil? Does he consider himself evil? Did he ever reconcile with Horus?

Set was not born as a god of evil. However, due to the many crimes he committed, he was given the infamous title “God of All Evil and Chaos”, a name he has been forced to bear for eternity. Now, while I can’t speak for his personal thoughts on the matter, I can say this: Set is a very proud god, and he certainly enjoys being seen as intimidating. So, as long as the title aligns with the image he has of himself, I doubt he minds it too much. As for his relationship with Horus, yes, they did reconcile in the end! However… that is a very long story, and I have a tendency to digress. So we’ll save that tale for another time!

Question 5: Has Set ever lost to Apep? Could that ever happen?

I acknowledge your frustration regarding the version of the tale you’ve referenced, but worry not! Our Set would never do such a thing! While Apep is one of the most terrifying beings in the cosmos, he is not invincible. And rest assured, the Unbeatable Champion of Ra has never lost to him. In fact, Set has never lost a battle to anyone, least of all Apep! You see, Set’s strength is virtually unmatched. And knowing how proud he is, he would never abandon such a task. That role alone (defender of the solar barque) has secured his place within the Solar Court for eternity. Even though he was destined to lose his cult in Kemet, he is still honored and respected for that duty!

With that said, I take my leave, and thank you for your devotion! Your willingness to open your mind is most appreciated.

Remain ever curious, and ever focused! Thoth, God of Knowledge.

#hos ask a god #Thoth Replies #house of the sun

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violet-moonstone · 2 months ago

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currently obsessed with peggy from the gilded age and pearline and and annie in sinners

I love when historical fiction includes more variety in representation of black women -- not just stereotypes and suffering. (Not to say that these characters don't suffer but they don't just exist to create feelings of pity or guilt in the audience, and certainly not amusement at stereotypical behaviour)

It would have been so easy for pearline and annie to fall into the jezebel and mammy stereotypes -- and I'm sure there are people who view them that way -- but they are really written as much more complex than that. they are not just desired, but cherished, and their personalities (and especially annie's knowledge and bond with smoke) strengthen the dynamic of the characters in the film.

I've also read about pearline's desire to escape the confines of her marriage/social expectations as a parallel to sammie's desire to escape his father's expectations and pursue music -- and how they both find that in each other and at the juke joint. Other people have explained this more coherently than I have, but anyway i LOVE that aspect of the film

and then there's peggy, who could have been written in a way that unfortunately a lot of female/poc characters are written in recent years by writers with good intentions (or at least the desire to be perceived as such) but underdeveloped writing skills/lazy character writing -- which is to say that she could have just been written as perfect to showcase how progressive the writer is, because a lot of people seem to think the solution to negative dehumanizing representation is positive dehumanizing representation. real women of colour are not perfect and we shouldn't need to be in order to be respected, loved, admired, etc. And peggy isn't perfect -- she shows vulnerability and sometimes she makes bad decisions -- but at the same time, she's intelligent, ambitious, and kind, AND she doesn't need Marian to come save her. She wants a friendship of equals, not a white saviour and her pet black friend/charity case

I want more of this!

also...some thoughts about princess tiana

so the thing is, she's one of my favourite disney princesses. like peggy, she reminds me of myself.

however

In a vacuum, her flaw being that she works too hard/never rests is a great way to balance out her perfectionism and ambition, but within the wider context of the film it seems cruel for the writers to show a woman working against barriers of class and race to be written that way, only for the resolution to that struggle not to come from support from her community, but from marrying into wealth -- and this is portrayed as happily ever after...like sure it might be for her but what does it say about the lives of everyone else in her former position? and has she truly escaped, or does she just continue to face discrimination with more of a safety net?

anyway, I don't expect coherent social criticism from disney, and I'm usually glad to enjoy my favourite childhood movies, flaws and all. I'm glad we got a black princess, I just wish her story were different. tbh over the years, I've stopped caring altogether about the frog portion of the movie because I just don't find it interesting (and yes I'm one of those people who's salty about her being a frog for most of the movie). They could have made a completely different story in the same setting with magical elements.

#sinners #sinners 2025 #pearline sinners #annie sinners #the princess and the frog #princess tiana #peggy scott #the gilded age #peggy the gilded age #long post

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fallenwhumpee · 3 months ago

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*strolling up to a counter* Hii, may I please have a 1,2,7/8,6,1/23/25/13 and 4/9? :D

Whumpee: 1 - Leader (couldn't stop myself, I love leader whump too much haha-)

Caretaker: 2 - Right hand

Whumper: oh, what if it's a combination of 8 - mentor and 7 - villain? :O

Dynamics: 6 - team

Tropes: 1 -self sacrifice, 23 - rescue. 25 - buried alive (maybe even 13 - left for the dead, if it works? :O)

Dialouge: 6 -"I can't walk", 9 - "You're still alive"

Thank you very much for making this and I hope I'm not going too crazy, haha (*>w<) Absolutely feel free to get rid of some parts or add additional ones, and not writing this if the inspiration doesn'tcome is completely oke too. :D I think the most important part is that you enjoy the proccess as much as possible ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

Have a wonderful day, virtual hugs and a cookie 💕🍪～(´∀｀～)

Hiii! Glad to see you here hehehe. Turned buried alive to stuck in an underground bunker. Enjoy!

Warnings: Knife, starvation, restrains, delirium(?) -> from this ask game <-

Leader was out of breath. They couldn't run anymore. they were cornered. They hated themselves for not seeing the trap. But how one even prepared for this? To be completely understood by the enemy in tactics and mind?

They stopped absurdly, watching the team from behind. Whumper had figured Leader out, so be it. But there was no way they could understand what Leader would do for their team.

Right Hand noticed first. Of course they did. Leader taught them well. Taught them how to lead. How to protect. To see when sacrifice was needed for survival. And at that moment, all Leader could do was smile bitterly.

I'm so sorry for burdening you so early, they mouthed, before locking the metal door through the alarm. Tech had spent ages to disable it from far, but it was so easy from inside. Leader didn't turn back as Whumper's forces got to the room from the remaining entrance.

"I won't let you get them," they stated. Leader wouldn't lose. Because their goal wasn't their own survival. It was to keep their team alive.

"I never wanted them. They were only obstacles between you and me," Whumper chirped. A shiver ran down Leader's spine, and for the first time in their life, they felt afraid for themselves. The team is safe, they tried to assure themselves. They can't truly hurt me.

Slowly, Leader turned back. There were guns pointed at them, all in safe distances. Leader wasn't fast enough to take on these much armed men out. "If I knew you wanted me that bad, I'd bring you flowers. I'm rather bare at the moment."

Whumper laughed. Not the loud, gloating kind Leader had expected. Quieter. Sincere. Like they were sharing a joke only the two of them understood. But Leader didn't. There were only misunderstandings with someone beyond reqsoning.

“You always were funny when you were terrified.”

Leader didn’t flinch. Even as cold sweat traced down their spine, even as their lungs still burned from the run, they kept their stance casual. They wouldn't fall for such bait. They had to save strength.

“I’m not terrified,” Leader simply said. And perhaps it was that simple. Leader wasn't terrified. Leader had insurance. The agency had a whole will to go over if Leader couldn't find a way out of this hell. The team was in good hands.

Whumper stepped closer. The armed soldiers didn’t move—because they didn’t need to. They were just the net. Whumper was the spider.

“No,” Whumper agreed, tilting their head. “Not yet.”

Leader’s jaw tightened.

“It was a good move,” Whumper went on, gesturing lazily to the locked door behind them. “A little dramatic. But you always were the noble one. I wonder—did they even see you do it? Or will they turn around and just… find you gone?”

Leader didn’t answer.

Whumper stepped closer. They were inside striking distance now, and Leader didn’t move. They couldn’t. Not with so many rifles trained on them. Not when Whumper was baiting them into making the first move.

“I know you, you know,” Whumper said, almost softly. “I know what you fear. What you hide. You didn’t just seal that door to protect them. You sealed it because if you saw the look on their faces - if you saw how much it would break them - you’d hesitate.”

Leader’s throat bobbed. “Stop pretending you understand me.”

“But I do.” Whumper smiled, and it didn’t touch their eyes. “You think you're the one who made your team strong? That you've trained them well enough to keep going? Maybe. But they’ll unravel faster than you think without you. And you know it.”

Leader’s fists clenched. “If you want to kill me, just do it.”

“Oh no,” Whumper murmured. “I want you to fight for your own life for once. No noble sacrifices. No plans. Just you and your will to live.”

And then, without warning, something struck Leader across the head—sharp, hard, and fast.

The world tilted. Leader stumbled, a fist flying over their head. And then they fought. They fought and bled and they tried, more and more people lunging at them and it hurt. Yet they kept fighting because they couldn't surrender. It simply wasn't their nature. They fought for what felt like hours, their body slowly breaking and their limbs aching with backlash. At the end, someone must have gotten bored because Leader froze with a knife to their gut.

They fell.

Whumper taunted. Leader didn't - couldn't - listen. And Whumper got bored finally, leaving Leader there to die by themselves. The last thing they heard before the blackness swallowed them whole was a shadow's voice, soft and pleased:

“You're coming with me.”

-•-

Leader didn't expect to open their eyes again, but they were glad to be proven wrong. Being alive was cold. Their wrists burned from strain and metal restraints, their body sluggish.

Wait, metal restrains?

It took Leader's whole strength to stay stay still, not panic. They were left to die. Did Whumper change their mind? They didn't remember.

Calming themselves as best as they can, Leader tried to understand. They were underground. That much they could tell by the dampness in the air, the silence, the faint scent of old stone and rot. There was no sound of life. Just the dull, echoing drip of water from somewhere, a hum of a generator, maybe

Then came the voice.

Familiar.

Too familiar.

“Well,” said the Villain, calm and amused. “Still alive. Just barely.”

Leader opened their eyes. The world swam, but the face hovering above them sharpened slowly into clarity.

Their former mentor.

“You,” Leader hissed, hate rising like bile.

“Me,” Villain agreed, crouching in front of them, brushing dirt from their shoulder with a touch that made Leader want to flinch. “Dragged you out before your end. You should be grateful.”

“You’re working together now?” At least that would explain why Leader was outsmarted.

A short laugh. “Hardly. I just hate letting people waste potential. Especially mine.”

Leader spat at their feet. “I’m not yours. Not anymore.”

Villain’s eyes cooled. “Still stubborn, then. Good. Let’s see how long that lasts.”

Leader didn’t respond. They didn’t need to. Villain already knew. Just like Whumper. Everyone who ever claimed to understand them did the same thing: they underestimated the line Leader wouldn’t cross just because it would hurt their team.

“You’ll betray them eventually,” Villain said, standing. “When it’s just you. When it’s quiet. When your ribs ache and your mouth is dry and your mind starts to go soft with starvation. You’ll see how little your nobility means. Shout when you change your mind.”

Leader didn’t look at them. Didn’t blink.

So Villain sighed and turned to go.

“Oh, and don’t worry,” they added as a ladder was thrown down. “There’s enough air to last you a while. I’m very precise. I want you to feel the moment you regret everything.”

And with that, they heard metal clang and a valve close.

Darkness swallowed Leader whole.

But they didn’t scream. Didn’t cry.

They closed their eyes.

And breathed.

The team was alive.

That was enough. So they didn't try to check concrete walls like coffin. They didn't try the sealed door. The dark didn’t frighten Leader.

At first.

They had trained for worse. Deprivation drills, isolation chambers, and days without food. It was gifts Villain left Leader with when they were still at agency. They had starved for three days straight in the northern frost during winter. This was nothing.

So they waited. They kept count—of breaths, of heartbeats, of the tiny noises the earth made as it settled around them. The drip of the leak. The faint hum of the generator upstairs that faltered once, then resumed. They watched the dark with open eyes, blinking only when their eyes burned. Watched it as though something would change.

It started with the ache. Deep in the belly, then up through the ribs. A hollowing pain, sharp and raw, that quickly became familiar. At first, Leader tracked time through it. Guessed how much must have passed. They’d breathe through it, shift positions, press hands to their abdomen like that could fool the body into thinking something was there. But nothing ever came. And it hurt. Leader only then remembered the knife. Their dirty shirt was soaked— by what, they couldn't tell. They could only hope it was blood and nothing else.

Eventually, the ache turned to nausea. Then numbness. Then fire again. It circled too often, too rarely. They couldn't grasp the time. But Leader didn't scream. That was important. They couldn’t scream or beg. Not because no one would hear them—but because it would mean giving the dark something. It would mean feeding it with fear, letting it grow teeth.

Water came once. Maybe twice. A slosh from a pipe above, dripping into a bowl they hadn’t noticed before. They drank. First, greedily. Then slowly. Then not at all, because their stomach hurt too much. Hunger was sharper than thirst. It crawled up from the gut, gnawed at the spine, the ribs, the base of the skull. It wasn’t pain anymore. Just… pressure. Then dullness. Then nothing.

Hallucinations came after a lifetime.

At first it was voices—Right Hand calling out, confused. Tech arguing, asking for coordinates. Laughter. Gunfire. They saw light that wasn’t there, shapes flickering in the edges of their eyes. Sometimes they heard the door unlock. It never did. They dreamed, too, but there was no difference between dreams and waking and hallucinating. In one moment, they were holding the team together, barking orders. In the next, they were curled on their side on rough stone, cradling a memory that couldn’t keep them warm.

They stopped moving.

It hurt too much. The muscles refused. Bones ached from pressure and cold and stillness. The restraint around their wrist was forgotten, part of their flesh now. Hunger no longer clawed - it purred. A heavy thing curling up in their gut, whispering that it would all be over soon.

Leader didn’t resist it.

There was no fight to win. Only silence.

Sometimes Leader forgot which way was up until their skull hit stone again. They knew they passed out, because they’d wake in new positions, mouth dry, heart skipping beats like it was confused to still be working.

Sometimes, they thought they spoke. Maybe to Villain. Maybe to Whumper. Maybe to the team. They imagined apologizing. Explaining. Sometimes, just whispering names to remember them in order. They forgot their own once. It came back. Slow. Sticky. Like crawling through wet leaves. They didn't hear their own voice.

They laughed once. It sounded like choking.

Then came the smell of rot. They weren't sure if it came from the cell or their own body. Infection, maybe. The cuffs tore their wrists bloody after too many unconscious jerks.

The first time Villain returned, the light burned. A cold, yellow spill through the opened hatch above, and the ladder clattered down like laughter.

“You’re still alive,” Villain observed, devoid of any other emotion.

Leader didn't lift themselves from the floor. Their voice was foreign, low. “That disappoints you?”

“No,” Villain said lightly, crouching beside them, holding out food. “Still loyal?”

Leader didn’t speak. They only smelled their own blood anyway.

Villain smiled with just the edges of their mouth. “Suit yourself.”

Villain pulled back. They left a bruise that time. Fingers curling around Leader’s face with almost parental intent, thumb pressed just a little too hard against their cheekbone, before slapping as if they were still a naughty intern.

The second visit came after hunger stopped being hunger and became quiet. As if Leader’s body had forgotten to want. Muscles didn’t ache anymore. They simply were not. Time passed. Or didn't.

“You’re not even trying,” they noted. “I expected you to try digging. Scratching. Begging.”

Leader scoffed. Their lips cracked when they spoke. “You taught me well.”

That earned them a sharp kick—not hard enough to kill, just enough to remind. Pain had begun to feel like proof of existence. Leader hissed, curling inward. There was blood again.

“Still no change of heart?”

Silence.

Villain stood. “Then I'm done with you.”

Leader heard the door - hatch - again.

“You don’t have to die for them,” Villain said quietly. “They’re probably already replacing you. You know how fast these things move.”

Leader didn't answer.

“I could pull you out,” Villain offered. “Patch you up. Feed you. Clean you. Give you a new life.”

There was only silence after.

-•-

It started as a tremor.

Leader didn’t believe it at first. The infection had made illusions out of smaller things. Phantom footsteps, rescue teams that were only echoes of memory. But this… this vibration was different.

Real.

A scrape above. Then, a clatter. Stone against stone. Something shifted. The sealed lid, too heavy to dream of moving, began to Leak light. The pressure changed. Subtle, but it hit Leader like a gasp of fresh breath.

A second passed. Then another. Then, the lid pushed aside with a strained grunt. Dust fell in sheets. The beam of a flashlight broke into the cell.

Then—

Leader blinked against the white glare, breath stuck on their throat.

Not Villain. Not a hallucination.

It was Right Hand..

Right Hand dropped something—metal clanking against stone. A ladder. The shaft shook as they half-fell down , then knelt beside them. A warm hand brushed gently under Leader’s jaw, lifting their head.

“Leader. Hey. Look at me.” Their voice was rough, breaking. Why were they crying? “I’ve got you. We’ve got you. You're safe now.”

Leader’s eyes rolled back in their head. They forced them open again. Right Hand was still there. Still real.

“Right Hand…” Leader murmured, almost a question, an apology they had to get put of their chest.

“Shhh.” Right Hand cradled them, pushing away the thoughts and cold from Leader.. “You’re going to be okay, Leader. I’ve got you. Just hold on.”

Leader tried to push themselves up, but their body didn’t obey. Their limbs were stiff, like they had forgotten how to move, how to function. They had to get up, wanted to get up. Villain could come back. They would come back and then Right Hand would be defenceless with Leader burdening them.

“I… I can’t… walk,” Leader whispered, not registering the words. Their paranoia was supposed to stay inside. But they couldn't stop themselves. “I can’t…”

They were trembling. Their body was growing heavier with each passing moment, as though gravity itself had decided to weigh them down. They were a wreck and a burden, all the things they didn't want to br.

Right Hand’s hand came to their forehead. Cold. Leader leaned towards the cold. Their thoughts dissolved.

“I know,” Right Hand said softly. “I’m not asking you to walk. I’m carrying you.”

Leader opened their mouth to protest, to tell Right Hand not to risk it, but the words didn't come. They couldn’t make sense of what they wanted to say anymore.

“Hey. Look at me,” Right Hand said, their voice gentle but commanding. “Look at me.”

Leader’s eyes struggled to focus, but there was something in Right Hand’s gaze that grounded them. Thr cold hand left their forehead for a moment, but next their wrists were free. They didn't know - or care - how. Then the handover to their back.

“You’re gonna be alright, I promise,” Right Hand continued, voice steady.

Leader nodded—or maybe twitched. It didn’t matter. Right Hand moved fast, looping one arm under their shoulders and the other under their knees, lifting with a grunt. Leader hissed through their teeth. It felt like tearing open their stomach again.

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Right Hand muttered. “You’re light as hell. That’s not a compliment.”

Leader wanted to laugh at that, but the sound that came out was closer to a gasp. The pain was distant now, muffled like sound underwater. The world swam as Right Hand cradled them close, navigating the narrow shaft with slow, careful steps. Each jolt sent pain ricocheting through their bones, but they clung to consciousness, focusing on Right Hand’s breathing, the steady rhythm of it. Not a hallucination. Not a dream. Real.

There was shouting above. Muffled. Urgent. Tech’s voice. Sharp, commanding.

“Exit’s not secure—we’ve got three minutes tops!”

“Medical’s ready, just get them up!”

The light widened. Then warmth hit Leader's skin—real warmth. Flashlight? Sunlight? They couldn’t tell, but it was not the dark. Leader sucked in a breath that didn’t taste like mold and rot. Their lungs burned with fresh air. Their vision blurred again, but it wasn’t darkness that swallowed them this time—it was too much light.

They were passed off—hands under their back, people murmuring, equipment beeping. They were floating. No, being carried again. Blankets. Needles. Medic's voice was too close.

“What did they do to you…” Youngest murmured, but Leader couldn’t answer. Their throat was raw, and everything ached. They blinked once. Twice.

Then everything went quiet.

-•-

The next time they woke, it was in a clean cot. The scent of antiseptic hung in the air. Wires ran to their wrist. Tubes. Machines. But no restraints. No stone. No rot.

Right Hand had was asleep sitting upright, a data tablet slipping from their fingers. Their head rested awkwardly against the wall, neck bent too far.

Leader tried to speak, but only managed a croak. Right Hand startled awake anyway.

“Leader,” they said, instantly alert. “You’re up. Hey. Hey. Don’t move, you’re still—”

“Team?” Leader rasped, eyes barely open.

“We’re fine. All of us. We regrouped. We found you.” Right Hand’s voice cracked on that last word. “Took too damn long, but we did.”

Leader stared at them, struggling to speak. “You saw. At the door. I—”

“I know.” Right Hand leaned in, their voice quieter now. “I know why you did it. We don’t blame you. Just… angry at your crazy stunts.”

Silence settled between them, heavy but not painful. Alive was good. Together was better. And everything was alright if they had the luxury to be angry.

Leader closed their eyes for a moment. “Villain?”

“Gone. Retreated when they realized we were coming. Coward with an attachment complex.” Right Hand paused. “They won’t get near you again.”

Leader turned their head slightly. “Was I gone long?”

Right Hand hesitated. “Eighteen days there. Another week in Medbay”

Leader blinked. That long. That short. It didn’t matter anymore.

“You held on,” Right Hand added, softer now. “No one believed you would’ve made it through that. But you did.”

Leader breathed in. Deep. Shaky. Tried to piece together. But their thoughts slipped.

“I’m sorry,” Leader said finally.

“For what?” Right Hand asked, eyebrows pulling together.

“For putting you in my place,” Leader whispered. “For leaving.”

“You didn’t leave us,” Right Hand said defensively. “You saved us. And now we’ll look after you. That’s how this works. We carry each other.”

Leader only smiled.

#oh well #this got out of my hand #anyway #whump #whump writing #leader whumpee #leader whump #tw knife #restrains

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first-edition · 2 years ago

Text

Fox and the Hound

sandor clegane x reader

Chapter 6

Previous chapter here

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more.

Cw for this chapter- Threatening, Joffrey (we know why), mention of sex, breathing restriction, 18+ language.

Your arm is linked with sansas as you walk through the city courtyard seeing the gold, white, and red decorations. You look up seeing the banners, seeing them draped from windows and strung across the walls. Walking into the town square the space has been cleared and the severent are working to continue the decorations.

You see joffrey barking orders as merryn trant and hound stand behind him. He notices the two of you and adjusts himself before walking over.

“My lady sansa. Lady clegane.” he says

“Your grace” you both say. Your eyes glance up at Sandor before focusing on the king when he speaks.

“Wonderful don't you think..i think this is just what kingslanding need the festival!'' Joffrey says.

“It's beautiful.” Sansa acts.

“Yeah sure, it should be completed in 2 days time i hope the food will be good, come with me my lady, I want to show you where the fool will be performing.” Joffrey says, holding his arm out to sansa. Who takes it? He takes a step as the other two men begin to follow.

“Not you dog, stay, keep an eye on the bloody workers if they can ever fucking move fast enough.'' Joffrey says before walking off leaving you Sandor and the other guard who assisted you and Sansa on the walk to the courtyard. Sandor nods his head to the guard who must be new by the way he shakes when he sees his superior, and the guard scurries off to fill his place with Sansa and joffrey.

Sandor turns watching as the servants continue to work. It's quiet for a bit before he turns his head to you looking at you. You notice he's looking at you so you look back at him.

“What?” you ask, his hardened expression doesn't change.

“What?!” you exclaim as he turns his head back forwards.

“Are you hurting?” he asks reluctantly. You frown in confusion not understanding what he means until he speaks again.

“The first time is usually uncomfortable, '' he says. Your ears burn as you realize he's talking about last night in public.

“O-oh..i'm alright, s-sore. I should ask the same for you.” you say looking up at him.

“Mm. just cat scratches i've had worse.” he grumbles.

“I'm not hurt, you know. You didn't hurt me sandor, like you said.” you say taking his hand, his rough palm in your soft one. He looks down to you, feeling your hand in his.

“The marks…do those hurt?” he asks.

“Not at all if anything…I kind of like them.” you say blushing lightly. A short chuckle leaves his lips as he looks back to the servants.

“Your cape is back in the room.” you add on.

“Hmm..last night wasn't enough for you then little fox?” he asks.

“N-no! I mean yes– i-I it was enough- i enjoyed myself- i hope you did as well- i'm just suggesting- n-no i'm not. NO i mean ah…” your face burns as you fumble over your words.

“If you'd like it b-back you're going to have to get it yourself. My maids are terrified of you so they will not return it by mail.” you say pulling your hand away from him.

Amused at how easy it was to fluster you but less so that your hand is gone from his.

“Fine then..” he huffs and holds out his arm to you.

“I'll get it myself.” he says, waiting for you to take his arm.

“Good” you say and hold his arm in yours. You turn your head away, opening your mouth to speak again when you're hit from behind, causing you to almost fall forwards if sandor hadn't caught you. Three men run by you, the last one running into you. Sandor grabs the third by his neck lifting him.

“Watch where your fucking running boy! You've hit the princess. Watch it or I'll use your entrails as a damn jump rope!” he barks out, resorting back to his usual roughness. The man whimpers in fear once the hound puts him down.

“M-m-my apologies milady!” he says bowing before running off to his friends.

“You alright?” he asks you. Going back to you facing you. Your hand rests on your shoulder where he hit you.

“Yes. Thank you for catching me.” you say. He nods, bringing his hand up to your face, tucking your hair behind your hair, spotting the marks he left on your neck. He lifts your chin looking at his handy work.

“Fucking pigs running through the streets nearly ran into me!” you hear jeoffrey's whining voice. Sandor pulls his hand away from you before turning to face the sound of the king.

“You just stare at the fuckign flags waving in the air you mutt?” Joffrey asks, not really wanting an answer from sandor.

“Sure.” he says

“Mm whatever entertains your boring scared ass. Honestly I don't know how you entertain yourself around him.” joffrey says walking passed you both making sandor roll his eyes with a sneer mouthing a mockery of joffrey. Making you press your lips together suppressing a laugh.

“Come along dog, we have to look in the bakery.” Joffrey says not really having to do so; he's probably just hungry and wants food.

—-----

You continue the rest of the day and and the next exploring the festival decorations ever going as far out as the the towns square only with two f your hand maidens. Sneaking out of the castle with out a gaurd is no easy feat and often times with in the hour a gaurd who bring you back to the castle. Every guard its been has been Sandor.

you admire the decorations the towns people have done and the hope they share for a good and well festival even spending some time with the local children in the orphanages. Playing games and reading to them. Until you are once again escorted back to the castle.

But now you are on a different mission you walk into the seamstress house.

“Excuse me?” You ask a woman

“Oh! My princess!” She says and bows down.

“Shh no no i-im not supposed to be outside of the castle walls without supervision please get up.” You say begging her. She raises.

“Can you please make something like this. Black gold and yellow?” You ask

“A black dress milady? Was th’re a death in the family?” She says her thick accent almost missing words.

“N-no i want to wear it for the festival would you be able to make it for me?” You ask handing her paper with the sketch and your size.

“ o’course i can.” She says with a smile.

“Thank you i apologize for the short notice um. Here” you say placing a little pouch of coins on the table next to the paper.

“OH why mildly id’a do it f’free” she says you shake your head.

“No no. Your dresses you make are far too beautiful to not be paid for.” You say and smile.

“I’ll do me best, I’ll ‘ave it sent into the ca’sle on the day.” She says you nod smiling at her before hurrying off having heard that the guards were looking for you.

————

Walking down the hall you reach the library on your usual rounds to keep yourself entertained. When you’re stopped by two guards thier armor shiny and unbent letting your know they are new.

“Hello there little lady.” One speaks as the block your route to the library.

“Excuse me ser’s” you say and try to pass but to no avail you cant pass them, more like they wont let you.

“Whats a pretty thing like you doing out alone eh?” The other says hes got a Scottish accent.

“You’re blocking my way. Excuse me i wont ask again?” You say sternly looking up at them.

“Oh so fierce. Eh the little minx bites then does she? Id like you to use those teeth for something else then eh?” He speaks again. A disgusted look falls upon your face.

“She dosnt bite, but i do.” You hear the familiar gruff voice behind you.

The immediately straighten up.

“What are you two bastards drivleing on about.” Hound speaks again.

“N-nothing ser.” He says.

“Making s-sure the lady princess is safe on her w-way..” the other speaks.

“Fuck off or i‘ll cut off your cock and balls myself and shove them so far down your throat you’ll be coughing each others semen for a week.” He says shifting in his stance. The men bow to you before they scurries off.

You turn to him facing him looking up at him.

“You alright?” He asks. You nod in response.

“We’re you following me?” You ask a small smile on yor face.

“No.” He says immedetly before starting to walk off you smile at him skipping up to him.

“You were weren’t you?” You smile looking at him as you walk.

“No I wasn’t I was just walking the same way as you were standing.” He says

“That..that sounds like watching me.. Don’t you think its also familiar that every time i’m out of the castle walls you’re the one to come a retrieve me?” You say. He stops and turns to you.

“No, and if i was following you.” He says you smile up at him taking a step closer.

“Why?” You ask, knowing that he was, placing your hands against his armored chest. His hands remain one at his side and one as his sword.

“Because little fox…” he trails off you nod your head waiting for him to finish.

“Because this city is not safe half the time.” He says. A toothy grin forms on your face as you realize what he’s trying to say.

“You’re worried for me arn’t you?” You ask he huffs.

“You are! Sandor you’re worried. Well you needn’t worry becuase i have a strong personal gaurd that follows me wherever i go.” You say. His dementor changes his soft gaze hardening.

“You, Sandor. You follow me.” You say poking at his chest. He grunts and begins to walk away from you.

“Will I see you tonight?” You ask out to him leaning your head to the side.

“why?” He asks

“The festival?” You ask

“I have to be there.” He says

“Good.” You smile. You watch as he turns to walk off again but turns back to you taking a few steps twords you due to his long strides and leans down to you kissing your cheek before turning and finally walking away.

————

You stand in front of your mirror, your maids interchanging dresses for you to look at as you wear to the festival tonight.

“What do you think of this, my lady?” one asks as she holds out a pink and white dress.

“It's too…young I would look like a strawberry and cream pastry.” you reply.

Your handmaidens giggle as one retorts to you.

“Maybe the lord clegane would find you good enough to eat.” she says as they all giggle your face flushes with heat as your mind backtracks to the night.

“This my lady?” she asks, holding up another dress.

“Too green.” you say

“My lady the dress you ordered came in?” she asks again, holding out a new dress.

You look at it for a moment recognizing the colors; it looks like sandors house banner. The black dress with yellow accents and golden corset display.

You smile about agreeing to it when the doors open and your hand maiden walks in with one of the queens holding out a dress crying in your presence.

“Her grace the queen has requested you wear this for the night my lady.” she says holding out a red gold and white they would more than likely be restricting as hell. Your smile fades when the black dress is taken away from you and the maids help you undress in the current one. Your eyes glance back at the other dress before you're completely stripped of the dress you hand on and you step into the dress cersi told you to wear.

The dress slips on perfectly, the collar coming up slightly around your neck, not leaving any room for slouching. As the maiden laces the corsets your breath becomes more and more restricted.

“F-fuck.” you curse under your breath as she fully tightens the corset. You grab onto the desk side as she tugs pulling your waist in more and more. Until the ties are tight enough.

“Are you alright my lady?” she asks, concerned.

“Y-yes i'm fine.” you say your hand resting on your stomach now sucked into the heavens. She nods. She bends down to fix the trail of the dress so you can fully see the results of the garment. A knock at the door can be heard.

“Enter.” You call out as the door opens. Sandor walks in. Causing the maid who opened the door you hurry a step backwards. You turn to see him in new armored gear. The white and gold armor shining against his dark hair and features. The intricate patterning on spikes and swirls reside on the shoulder pieces and in the middle of his chest the crown symbol. His white and gold cape flowed behind him. But what shocks you the most is his face, he shaved, but more so most likely forced too. And a boy about 16 or so follows close behind him.

A smile forms brightly on your face as your mouth drops open a bit. When you fully turn to face him. His grumpy resting bitch face still present as he sneers a look at the maid from cersi’s hands and she squeaks past him to return to the queen. His eyes hit you seeing you in the dress and his eyes immediately soften.

“Did you shave?!!.” you ask excitedly. He doesn't answer his eyes just wander your garments growing colder again

“Ive been poked and prodded and shaved down i have uncomfortable armor and they gave me a fucking squire…im not in the mood for jesting. If anything all i want is to cut the fucker who did this to me in half and feed his shit to jeoffry for ordering it.” he says slowly.

You walk to him only now noticing how heavy the dress is.

You stand in front of him looking up at his face then down to his squire.

“And you are?” you ask if the boy seems stunned to be in your chambers more than anything.

“J-joss stillwood milady.” he bows.

“Pleasure to meet you. Has my lord husband treated you well?” you ask.

“Yes milady. Of course.” he says, actually telling the truth. You look back at sandor.

“You look very handsome sandor.” you say.

“Shut the fuck up.” he grumbles his heart burting at the compliment. You give him a small smile. “Cersi has asked that i escort you into the banquet hall as a guard, as lord ...and as a husband” he says your eyes widen ever so slightly.

“Well you certainly look the part then.” you say he sighs and holds out his arm. For you you take it and exit the chambers walking to the banquet all seeing other guests walking the same way.

————

Holding onto sandors arms you can hear the faint gossip from others as you walk towards the doors. You feel the looks as people stare.

“y/n.” you hear sandor speak. You look up at him seeing he’s already looking at you.

“Ignore them. That's what I do.” he says, having noticed your discomfort. You nod.

You reach the doors and are announced.

“I present princess y/n of house clegane and her lord husband, kingsguard, Sandor “the Hound” Clegane.” Everyone stops what they are doing and bows to you. As you enter. You see cersi, joffrey, tommen and sansa sitting at the head banquet table waiting for you.

You both walk down the aisle that will soon become a dance floor to the table. You lift your skirt ever so slightly to climb the few stairs to your seat. Sandor pulls out the chair for you and you take a seat. He stands behind you slightly to your side.

“Welcome my dear, i'm so glad the dress made it to you in one piece you look ravishing, Doesn't she look beautiful clegane?” cersi says turning to sandor to ask.

“Yes, your grace.” he answers coldly. She picks up her knife and cups tapping the metal utensil against it. Quieting everyone.

“It is with great pleasure that I have invited you all here tonight. We have music, fine wine, food, dancing here and in the courtyard. This festival brings us all together. Please enjoy yourselves." She says everyone cheers before the music begins. She sits back down and food is placed on the table.

Everyone begins to eat but you sit and poke at the food. Cersi takes notice of this and leans to you.

“Are you well my dear?” she ask

“Yes, your grace.” you answer.

“I hope as well, my maidens told me of you and sandors consummation, I do hope those markings amount to your body healing well.” she says.

“...y-yes your grace i haven't needed a maester.” you say she nods. And leans back to her seat you looks up at sandor you stands like a brick wall watching and scanning the room. You watch as everyone enjoys the party and dances and eats. You manage to eat a small amount before not wanting anymore, just a few raspberries and strawberries. You've sat at the table half board and half content for an hour or so before Sansa gets up and walks to you.

“y/n..dance with me?” she asks, standing next to you.

“Oh i don't think..” you say

“Come on!” she says holding out her hand you sigh and nod standing up and taking it. Sandor follows close after you both to watch as a guard. She leads you out through the open doors to the court yard where more music plays and others are eating and dancing.

A new song begins just in time as you both take your place. You admire Sansa's dress. A flowy blue dress no doubt Joffrey has chosen for the golden landed bodice shines against the outside lighting. The dance begins and you hold up your hand turning along with sansa.

“I can't breathe in this dress.” you say to her.

“Neither can i” she says, giving a small laugh.

“My hand maids tied it so tight I can feel my heart beating in my throat.” she continues. You laugh and nod. Turning to the side to switch partners as part of the dance, it's a young man around your age as he smiles at you, surely admiring you.

“You smell good my lady if I may interject.” he says.

“Thank you my lord.” you answer.

“Willow berry and prose is such a fine scent of a beautiful princess.” he says linking your arms with his as part of the dance requires.

“Y-yes.” you say.

“I'm lord of the hotel house , segal.” he says.

“A pleasure.” you say before returning to sansa.

“Who?” she asks. You shrug giving her a pained expression.

“Sandor doesn't seem to have taken a liking.” she says gesturing over to where he stands by the doors. You see him looking at you, his gaze hardened at the sight of the man who was making conversation with you. You also watch as joss nods his head enjoying the music in his place next to sandor.

“Oh no..”you say Sansa laughs as the dance shifts once more bringing you back to the lord.

“Pleasurable once more.” he says.

“The dance, yes of course.” you say. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“No my princess, you are.” he says

“I appreciate your kind word my lord for I am promised to another, sealed in fact.” you say looking over at the 6’7 monster of a guard and husband standing glaring.

“Ah..well a dance will not hurt then.” he says. Before you can answer the dance ends and you curtsy as he bows to you.

“May I have the next one?” he asks

“I really dont think-” you begin glancing at Sansa who has already been caught up by joffrey.

“Please my lady, dance. one.” he says holding out his hand you nod taking it. The music begins again to play a very upbeat song known for lots of movement and dancing which you don't know how you will complete in the dress. He pulls you into him and begins to lead the upbeat dance.

Not being able to last the entire song you break away from him gathering your dress and walking off trying to catch your breath.

“My lady?! Are you alright?” he asks, you hold out a hand to tell him to go away but too out of breath to speak, but before he can place a hand on you he is grabbed by sandor.

“Fuck off.” he speaks gruffly.

“Excuse me sir but I am a-...” he trails off seeing Sandor fully and runs off.

“Are you alright little fox?” he asks you to look at you. You place your hand on your stomach as you walk farther away from the music and dancing. You walk out onto the side view balcony hearing the faint music. Still struggling to breath your lack of air causes your vision to blur black spotting in your vision. The dress becomes heavier by the second causing you to lose your footing and hit the side barrier, you gasp about to fall off the side when you're caught by sandor he pulls you into him.

Your knees give out as he holds you. He kneels to the ground. His hand is placed on your waist feeling the hard boning of the corset and hearing your labored breathing.

“Shall i call the maester ser?!” Joss asks worriedly.

“No…For fucks sake” sandor curses before he pulls out his dagger and cuts the corset down the middle allowing for a gush of air to return to your lungs. You grab onto him as you can finally breathe again. You blink as your vision clears. The color also comes back to your face as he places his hand on your cheek. You give him a weakened smile placing your hand over his. His eyes scanned to make sure that that was all that was causing your discomfort.

“You're alright now little fox.” he says, kissing your forehead. Helping you stand before lifting you into his arms he carries you away from the party back to your chambers.

READ CHAPTER 7 HERE

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