I'm having severe pd withdrawal symptoms
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yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always.
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’)
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
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Abel and Ammon are chilling at a cafe together. What do you think they’re talking about?
Give Linebeck and Rusl hugs for me <3 And Ammon, really, but I’ll let him vibe with some coffee. Or whatever he drinks to caffeinate/energize. (Abel has known about coffee his entire life because Castle Town has Gerudo beverages and he’s 100% addicted)
Hope you’re doing ok <3 <3 <3
Oh boy, they could be talking about their duties, how wonderful their wives are, how crazy their kids are, maybe even talk about how much they hate the yiga lol. There’s a lotta things!!
Rusl is affectionately crushing your ribs and Linebeck is pretending that he’s disgusted by the hug but deep down he’s a big softy <33
I don’t think Ammon has ever had anything like coffee so….. this is a first time for everything!
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feeling so normal about li bing and qiu qingzhi btw
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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh
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our tooth is suddenly a lot more painful again and I don't know why, but I also only had one ibuprofen left so I've just taken that and I guess I have to hope our mum can get us some more before that one wears off because I really want to avoid having to take co-codamol again.
the issue is that we took some ibuprofen earlier and it wore off so quickly I'm not sure we're gonna be able to get away with just using that but I'm gonna feel really shitty if I do end up having to take the co-codamol, and we'd started getting intrusive thoughts about taking it while not actually in pain so I've gotten myself into this ridiculous loop of being like "what if I'm just coming up with an excuse to take it" even though I am in fact in a fuckload of pain now and the other medication isn't helping enough.
it feels like I'm stuck in a situation where my options are once again to either take a medication that I know is fucking me up and it's going to be a nightmare, or deal with being in too much pain to function, so I'm fucked no matter what I do
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man i love weed dont get me wrong but i really dont like hanging with ppl who are stoned all the time and when i tell ppl that they act like im being a killjoy like? no? i equally dislike when ppl are drunk off their ass. im allowed to be uncomfortable with substance use
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
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when i want to project in my fanfic but then i remember the ‘fannon’ version of the character does this so now it just looks like i’m playing into the ‘bad boy fannon’ version of a character
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Like, I DO think people get too wound up over fictional constructs--that, very pointedly, are not real and whose actions are made up and do not actually affect any real people--doing horrible things in-story, but I also think it's fair for someone to say, "This action sits poorly with me even in a fictional setting, in such an intense way that I cannot move past that or find sympathy for it," and "People are saying this bad behavior isn't actually bad, in a way that is meant to be taken seriously and at face-value, and that makes me severely uncomfortable."
Granted, this all gets muddled very easily because that's not what people mean most of the time, they just want to over-moralize fiction and say, "If you like this pRoBLeMaTiC thing for any reason, you are a menace to society" for Superiority Points. (They also like to invent problems that don't actually exist to "prove" that they have the moral high ground in not liking something remember when people tried to say catra/adora was incest because they grew up together because I sure do.) But I feel like there is a split between people who use "[character] apologism" in the sense of "I will be okay with this character doing whatever fucked-up thing they want in the story because I like them" vs "If you find this character compelling or want them to succeed, you would one-to-one condone their actions irl" vs "I have seen people genuinely say, with no joking or irony, that this character never actually caused any type of harm to the other characters within the story, and I don't like that."
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Sometimes I’m vibing, doing my weird zone-out, day-dream and imagine scenarios in my head mood (usually with fictional characters and shows and things) and then I remember a super sad fact about a character I love. And then I stop before I make myself even more upset
Tw for the tags, since that’s where most of this post actually resides:
-little to no association with the actual post itself
-mentions of trauma
-mentions of drug addiction
-mentions of abuse. Like that’s the whole point of the little tangent I go on.
-excusing theft.
-implied Luther Hargreeves (though he is firmly not the character I’m excusing the actions of)
-A complete refusal to mention anything past TUA S1.
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i need therapy my god i don't know what to do with myself anymore i feel repelled by myself pls don't read if triggered by mental health talk or sh shit and whatnot
i don't know where else to write this im trying so hard to distract myself from my body i feel everything tingling this is disgusting i feel so fucking disgusting all of my scabs and scars are itching so bad the more i think about them i hate going into the shower and seeing them god i feel so icky in my own body this is so messed up i wasn't like this two years ago i feel so sorry so really sorry oh my god i don't know what to do with myself god im so sorry i feel disgusted i can't even look at myself this is god i don't know i want to start over again i hate this so much why did i not listen fuck this i feel so stupid i knew i should not have tried it the first time i knew that anyone who started would not be able to stop until too late and yet i felt so curious i was so stupid god i want to take it all back they won't come off they won't go away i feel so disgusting im covered and no one knows i hope they never know god i had a nightmare again my mom found out and ripped my clothes off me i felt so so terrified i woke up in cold sweat god what am i going to do they'll find out eventually it's been a year they still haven't but someday they will god oh my god i don't know what to do i feel like throwing up i never should have come online then i wouldn't have known what cutting even was god i could have stuck with punching things like i used to before or just getting therapy for fucks sake i went online bc i was lonely and ended up getting ideas i regret this so much it's all coming down on me this is so nuts im having a breakdown lmfao god what do i do im shaking this is oh my god i never really looked at myself i should not have oh my gos what have i done stupid stupid i remember sitting down after midnight just picking that thing up in the middle of my studying session and then just doing it my god what did i do Nd then i didn't stop and it became a habit and a sweet release and now i have to live with these for the rest of my life god i am so so stupid this is so rich it got worse how is it supposed to get better im praying im praying i feel so sorry
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I love Kina writing her as an adult is different. I still view her as the talkative a little naive baby sister of nick. She’s was always tagging along with him and exploring the city and hanging with his freinds. Learning about little stuff and I feel like as she got older and Nick got older their relationship got a bit strained, on Nick end it was mostly because his ex was isolating him and he wasn’t coping well with some stuff so he went from speaking to her nearly everyday to going weeks and then months with no contact. She was in her early teens at this point and he’s moved out so she was kinda alone for the first tine(not really she was living with Stefan and that her dad he loves her but it’s different. Her moms in jail her actually dads fars away and her brothers ignoring her) nick was one of the only people who really got her and they shared a lot with each. That her best friend I think their getting back to that close relationship but because nick kinda distanced himself for nearly five years she grew a lot more close to their mom in that time and she keeps her updated on the little she know of his life. She not judging but Yuka is and nick already avoid speaking to her as much as he can so when they did click again and talked at a point Kina made a little comment to Yuka and the next time Nick spoke to her she berated him for it. I don’t think Nick ever told her not to talk to their mom about him. He should she doesn’t really get why he doesn’t talk to their mom much. She think he’s selfish and hates having all their conversations with her mom be about how nicks “a fucking ungrateful embarrassment” baby girl is working on being a doctor and her mom like how my stupid son before asking about her day. Yuka does use Kina achievements to make Nick feel bad though so theres that to.
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it is the dreadposting hours ur honor
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