#how do u lose weight
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Still not used to this life or death situation stuff. That's good, 'cause I'm not either. You never get used to it.
#swedit#starwarsedit#starwarsblr#star wars#poe dameron#flashing gif#nym.gifs#thinking about how in the stuff pre tfa he just. he wants to be a /pilot/ he wants to be a /soldier/ because he doesn't want to have to#carry the burden of the moral calls and the weight of so many people's lives in his hands#especially when strategies go /wrong/#'point me at the bad guys and let me do my thing'#he works alone SO often.#and there's something so genuinely tragic that poe's just. /so/ good at what he does that he ends up catapulting himself into the position#that. he didn't want.#and the thing that /pushed/ him into joining the resistance to prevent from happening again (losing someone he cares about under his#command /keeps/ happening). and worse he ends up in these positions where he /could/ blame himself for things that /aren't/ his call.#like u know he's got to feel responsible for the village on some level not to mention fuckin /kijimi/#it was /his/ idea to go there#the world should've protected you. instead you've been chosen to protect it.#what an honor. what an injustice.#not all of these fit this theme but mostly i just wanted to focus on his reaction/responses to some of the bigger tragedies in the trilogy#and tbh there's also. plenty more shots.
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missing being on here greatly atm 😥 this was the time of year back in 2018 when i joined the fandom and every time this part of the year rolls around i’m reminded of that and my early days 😓 feeling sentimental about growing up and adulthood a bit heavily this weekend. i really want to write but there’s a future ahead of me and i’m spending it instead knee-deep in research statements and grad school applications (which is incredibly exciting). sometimes i do mourn those moments years ago though!!! 😢 hope you’re all doing well, staying both safe and warm and happy as we can all be! 💛
#shannon stuff#i like popping in periodically and see all u lovely people and the stuff you’re up to#so happy to see all the writing and good vibes here#it’s so nostalgic for me idk how to describe it!#real life doing it’s thing! :)#after december 1st 10000 lbs of weight will be lifted off my shoulders#and maybe i can write again#for now we’re here :)#hope u all are well! <33333#(also httyd trailer?!? 7 yr old me is LOSING IT!)
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lowkey glad i got my wisdom teeth out now because im getting used to barely eating and i know once school starts im gonna have to start getting back in the rhythm of one meal a day because i don’t do lunch (vent in the tags mb)
#tw eating issues#i look thinner i think and i like that#im trying to keep up this eating pattern to get used to it when school starts#i’m learning how to keep my stomach from making noise which is good#it’s fucked up when i think about it but whatever#anyway i’ve been meaning to vent for a while about this#only thing im nervous about is having physics my third and second to last periods but ill figure it out#im trying to lose more weight#i think im doing good on my soup diet tbh#i’ll keep it going as long as i can#i hate how i feel after eating though#im considering learning how to water fast#i think that’ll help#anyway this git dark sorry#i’m fine im just in a bad headspace#i’ll be fine#ill stop when im satisfied#vent#i wanna go from small to extra small tbh#i wanna be thinner#i hate this#ive been dealing with it since i was twelve#whatever#tw ed#idk can u even call it an ed?#sometimes the only motivation i have is knowing if i keep eating im gonna look gross when i go out#i’ll be fine i’ll stop when i want#no one will even know it’ll be so easy#it makes me feel in control#like i’m in control here instead of the thoughts
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“He'd deceived her, had lied to her. This man who she'd believed held no secrets between them. She didn't know why it made her want to shred everything within sight.”
— cause um… as you just said Miss Manon YOU CARE (& it’s even giving Chaolaena vibes in the I CARE way)… so like all I’m saying is you love him duh?
#Chapter 40#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#no spoilers please#Manon Blackbeak#Dorian Havilliard#first read#read with me#read along#more quotes notes reacts and spoilers in tags and not course post for chapter#Blueblood and Yellowlegs and Blackbeak alike.' And she would bear the weight of what she'd created what she'd trained forever.#I want to bring them all home. Before it is too late before they become something unworthy of a homeland.#So what are you going to do? Asterin asked softly but not weakly.#the fact Asterin is described as speaking softly but not weakly#The answer did not lie in picking one over the other Crochan over Ironteeth. It never had.#He'd known and hadn't told her. Kaltain had vanished into the night air and then Dorian had shifted. Into a beautiful proud raven.#our beautiful proud bluebell eyed definetly not bored Raven boy bb prince king lovey#knew there was nothing kind nothing warm on her face. A witch's face. Blackbeak's face.#but your not a witch manon#His eyes glowed like blue fire. — intrigue normally they say that for Aelin#My road leads to Morath. It always has. How can you have looked at Kaltain and not seen what awaits you?#I love the full circle of Kaltain#We will lose this war if I do not go he snapped. How do you not care about that? — that responsibility and weight again#oh great no it’s not gonna be one of them both Aelin and Dorian will want to self sacrifice and fight over who gets to#thank the Wyrd for Manon and Rowan to stop them and be protection squad so no more Romeo Juliet’s#I CARE — it doesn’t make you weak — he knew she’d care — the full circle#I care if we lose this war I care if I fail2rally the Crochans I care if u go in2Morath&do not return as something worth living.#it’s giving Zoyalai; my beautiful ruthless Zoya Id hand hand you the final blow myself quote vibes#Now do you wish to tell me that caring is not such a bad thing? Well this is what comes of it.#Witchling — princeling — the literal cold shoulder
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I wish I could have a cigarette rn 😔
#but i am on birth control and it would give me a blood clot#plus its so bad for u and smells horrible after#or a vape a vape would be nice#but thats also horrible for u#how depressing but i really do care about my lungs#i need them for exercise 😔#thinspø#tw thinspi#⭐️ve#@na motivation#starv1ng#th1n$pø#4norexla#th1gh g@p#thinspp#ana trigger#dont e*t#lose weight fast#weight loss#skinsp0#skinspiration#smoking#cigarette
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j need to get back into life drawing post haste
#i think im losing . construction in my art#im forgetting how to draw bodies think. idk#literlaly so annoying . its like fun when u get the hang of things but then u neglect one aspect in pursuit of another#and then have to go back and touch up that old skill to try and balance jt and theres that brief period where#eveyrthing is harmonious and then it outpaces itself again and becomes ths juggling act#overall i enjoy it . the drawing sessions but smtimes finding the will 2 get out of bed is like pulling teeth#bc i know im never going 2 walk out of there feeling satisfied but . actually idc#a lot of my pals . my friends there r a couple of decades older than me and they have the best advice tbh#randy. and donna . randy and donna and third guy whose name i forget . -> if u r satisfied at the end of a session did u rly learn anything#always want 2 improve . right right#UARHGHQHHH ill do it ill go . im scared bc i feel like it tends to artblock me#bc i start getting in my head ab what i know/see vs what i can only draw#but im sooo addicted 2 wanting to get better . i want to draw like a million people i see on here who have that great construction and#weight and anatomy and dynamism . i want to be like u . ill work to be like u ill try#and i feel like ive negelcted my basics for soo long .. i need to get ths foam shapes and a lamp . NOWWWW#yotasuke#i miss yotasuke so much.damn. thats crazy . anyways#the way he points out that yatoras dedication/hard work is a talent . like ueah . i agree w him im envious of that r u kidding me#and ytora walkimg arnd like oh u have it so easy ytsk. he needs to shut the hell up smtimes#i meed to see them eviscerate each other blood and all.#spongebob icecream truck- not that yatoras hard work isnt Also a skill but ykwim . if youve read YKWIMM#bc he was always like woe is me im soo untalented and its like no bro u r you just manifest it differently . that natural drive is a talent#but that natural drive also takes skill to foster and nurture else it has no purpose .#no i cant be blp posting in the tags bye
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Romance manga with a fat mc/love interest: :D
They were only fat because of trauma and now that theyre in a relationship theyre skinny: :(
#STOP DOING THIS LET THEM BE FAT FOR FATS SAKE FAKE PEOPLE DESERVE LOVE ITS NOT A BARRIER TO OVERCOME#KILLING KILLING KILLING#Genetically fat people deserve love fat people who got fat from trauma and STAY fat deserve love#Of course this narrative wouldnt be a problem if it wasnt literally every single one#Even if its not this specific narrative its usually still about fatness and how that hinders a relationship#Why cant someone be fat and it be uninportant to the story#For some positivity im gonna highlight some of my fave fat romance mangas#Minegishi loves otsu#Its always minegishi loves otsu go read it now it does pretty much everything right fat boy wise and otsu is insecure about his weight#But its not like bad insecure its regular insecure like its not a conflict#Confessions of a shy baker#The only influence one of the characters weight has on the story is his boyfriend is baking him healthy treats cuz hes trying to lose weigh#Which on its face i dont think is a bad thing and its not what the story is about its just a facet of their relationship#Its pretty funny and chill also like...if u wanna make healthy treats theres a bunch of actual recipes in it#Mori no takuma#Okay this one is weird and technically does everything wrong to a comical degree and thats why i like it#Also takuma stays fat even after the ending plus for him#It does have the weird 'he gets skinny when its nervous' and it is literally about the girl not wanting to date a fat guy but whatever#You may notice that......all of these are where a man is fat and yeah#I would list one if i had one#For context im a fat lesbian#Attracted to fat women#Anyway if yall have fat romance manga suggestions lemme know id love to read them#animanga#anime#manga#anime and manga
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guys ik i needa lose a couple pounds but like,,, i wanna get buldak so bad
#journal ꒱#NOT AN ED POST BTW#i need to go on a diet !! ! ! !!#tbh i love food too much to go on a diet#how do i live without my sweets and boba </3#and like I'M NORMAL WEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT ?#but like i still kinda have alotta of face fat and like overall body fat#and i've been researching (going on reddit) and most ppl say that u need to lose ur body fat in general to lose face fat#and like u need to do cardio#but like i hate working out :/#and i don't wanna go to the gym#so idk#GUYS IF U HAVE RECS FOR CARDIO TO DO AT HOME LMK !!! ! !!! !!#i'll start jumping rope & stuff bc i've seen ppl say that helps a lot#anddd i used to do alotta jumprope a couple years ago to get taller & i think that helped to maintain my weight even tho i ate a lot#so yeah !!#help a girl out </3#for reference i'm 4'11 and 94/95ish lbs !!!!
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"You look like you lost weight! You look great!"
😭 I just put a tighter shirt on dawg
#WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO ALWAYS COMMENT ON MY WEIGHT#OR APPEARANCE IN GENERAL#like shut up idc#oMg KeEp DoInG wHaT uR dOiNg To LoSe WeIgHt#i forgot to eat all day bro#i have unhealthy coping mechanisms bro#LIKE U DONT KNOW IF THE WEIGHT IM AT IS GOOD FOR ME ALL ANYONE WANTS ME TO DO IS LOSE WEIGHT#BITCH I LIKE MY BODY MOST DAYS#YES I PLAN ON LOSING WEIGHT BUT YOU MAKE IT SOUND BAD THAT I HAVE MEAT ON MY BONES#IVE SEEN THE WAY YOU EAT AND ITS WORSE THAN ME#BLAH BLAH BLAH I LOVE ME SOME CHUB#iDC IF U THINK ID BE PRETTIER WITH LESS WEIGHT#ILL STAY BIG CUZ I WANT TO BE#IM HEALTHY IM THRIVING UR JUST ADDING TO PEOPLE NEGATIVE SELFIMAGE#LETS TALK ABT HOW U EAT ONE DAINTY MEAL AND A FRUIT SLICE#like...dont comment on other ppls body UNLESS YOU KNOW THEYRE OK WITH IT#like my sister and i if we r actively tryna lose some weight or gain muscle we will comment on it#like oh have u been working out? or omg did you lose weight?#bc ik shes ok with us talking abt it that way and vice versa
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I love you cucumber I'm sorry I've ignored you so long
#cucumbers used to be my favorite as a kid but i hate buying vegetables#cuz i forget about em and they go bad#and I'm from a country where food scarcity is an issue so throwing away food is Bad#so i simply do not buy quickly perishable foods#unfortunately this is almost all “healthy” foods#but if ur trying to lose weight One Large Cucumber is literally THE cheat code#filling and salty and crunchy AND it doesnt make u wanna kill yourself afterwards#i dont even know how many calories a cucumber has#i literally don't care I'd probably have to eat 682763 of them to gain weight anyway#ganja's diary
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had a #moment in therapy today. tw food/weight talk in tags
#was talking w him abt top surgery recovery + how i was basically only eating soup for a week#+ he was like 'oh do u think u lost weight' BESTIE I HOPE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cannot afford to lose any of the TINY amt i gained in college if i start passing out again i will Sob.#gaining ANY weight was a fucking uphill battle and at least ive been able to maintain it so far. fucking hell#im feeling Fine rn so hopefully that means my weight stayed stable but he brought that up as a possibility and i was like. Fuck.
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#emily speaks#body image //#i hate when people thinner than me complain about their weight in front of me#like ofc they're allowed to have insecurities about their body and want to lose weight for whatever reason#but saying 'haha im too chubby i need to lose all this fat' when im there in front of you clearly 100+ pounds heavier..... stfu#you can lose weight for you if you want but don't go around talking about how ugly your fatness is to other ppl who are fatter than you#like what are you saying about me then if you think fatness is ugly and i'm way heavier than you#dont say shit like that in a casual conversation how about that. like think before you speak#like if you got glasses would you say 'haha i hate glasses theyre so ugly but i have to wear them now :/' to someone wearing glasses??#im probably doing the best now than i ever have been in terms of positive body image for myself#but people say this shit too often like u are begging me to hate my body :/#its not intentional i know. but that's almost worse. they truly equate being fat with ugly they dont even think about it#but its ok bc im fat and hot so sucks for them 2 be wrong ig
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so. i guess i have to go to urgent care tomorrow. & show the doctor my lab results. & try to get in for a cancer screening that way
#jesus fucking christ.#my aunt (who works in the medical field) saw my lab results bc i showed them to her#and she went 'they didnt refer you to a specialist? they didnt call you?'#and i had to explain that no they didnt bc they told me to lose weight instead#but like. i dont know how my weight correlates to my red blood cell count & other results#they referred me to a dermatologist for cancer screening because of my moles#booked that appointment and guess what. earliest was DECEMBER#b R U V#anyway if i end up getting diagnosed with leukemia i'm going back in time to 15 year old me#and telling her she is psychic. bc when i was 15 i had this gut feeling i had developed bipolar & 5 years later i got diagnoses with it#around the same time i speculated abt the bipolar i also speculated i may have some chronic form of leukemia#bc i would get these red dot patches on my arms + my doc at the time told me i had severe anemia#but they blamed the anemia on my insanely heavy periods + the lethargy on my Teen Angst™️#but i just had this sinking feeling there was more to it#& now 9 years later i feel like my body is shutting down + dying and i have lab results that prove 1) my liver is FUCKED and#2) my red blood count is FUCKED#and 3) my cholestrol is FUCKED#god if i actually do have blood cancer i'm going to scream
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ah i see. only rich and popular people make it to where they wanna go. i get it now
#just sitting here not even feeling that bad and my mind is instantly#telling me Do It. take the pills scratch yourself do anything that will peave a mark because thats the only way you#know how to let pwople know youre struggling brcause youre the worst at asking for things like comfort and friendship bc u dont deserve it#for real man im having to start to set reminders to remind me to actually eat because every day is just so blank that i just sit theough it#and honest to god forget to eat. at all. and its being interpreted as 'wanting to lose weight' when its actually the fact that#i dont want to feed myself anymore. i dont like me. i will do anything that will indirectly rwsult in Unalive because Holy Shit this hurta#i dont. have much twthering me down anymore. i really dont. my friends dont check in (reasonably so) bc im ass at responding#and to everyone else i am the Happy :) Guy who is Never Sad so like SIKE lol#(standing under a large icicle) oh nooo i sure hope this doesnt fall right onto my noggin and end me :)#local idiot sad#idk guess i gotta do something at least. to mess with so i can see a physical reaction ro rhis shit
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it's so crazy how internet has brainwashed us into thinking that the secret to perfect skin is buying a fuckton of expensive makeup products and a 15 step makeup routine and not like. eating healthy food drinking water exercising
#im breaking out like crazy and i know it's because of pms because on the chin is always hormonal#and like. i know it's because of food because in the 3 months i lived with my dad i never broke out so badly#and i remember that when i used fo live here at home this happened monthly and i even went to the dermatologist flr it#and im still using the facewash and everything but it didn't really heal those like they still came every month and I didn't understand why#but well now i get it😭#but ughhh what ks this am i supposed to not eat junk food all my life????#like the gynac who said i have pcod said that outside food has a lot of salt and tons of preservatives in sugar#and i know that's what i need to stop eating#but it's hard :( food js practically my top 5 reasons of happiness#i think if i lose a lot of weight and this pcod business clears up then i will be able to eat it because#I didn't used to have this bad breakout when i weighed less#fuck man i am 20 kgs more than my normal routine weight how did i let this happen 🥲#and how will this go away#man halsey was so right when she sang i wanna hold my skin between my fingers and cut off some parts with scissors#like ughh i know that's so dark but it would be so easy i wish it worked like that#but anyway makeup is insane wow i was jjst thinking taht oh no i have to go out tonight maybe i should buy concealer#and there are soooo many shades and it's so expensive so i was watching yt videos and they were#all talking about how to conceal your under eyes and im like wait woahhh I didn't even think about that is this something#people do everyday wtf???? like the video was titled 'get rid of grey skin under your eyes' and like wow I didn't even realise#that that was something that needs to be done like who is even noticing these things????#so that broke my crazy makeup want lol im like ok this is insane you're just trying to make me waste money#and ykw i will use my money but on other things like buying vegetables and fruits#i really REALLY need to start walking btw.but problem is that even if i listen to music while walking#my brain is an overactive mess that hates to see me happy like i hate being alone with my thoughts it's always thinking horrible things if#i let it rest for even a minute like why do u think it's so hard for me to study. it's!! not!! captivating!! enough!!#maybe i should listen to podcasts? i wish i could listen to my lectures while walking#but there's so much to write and highlight and underline in every subject it's impossible#aaah idk
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i should lose more weight
#i have literally no idea what i look like and if i gained or not#and eating doesn’t really make me feel good just guilty and anxious#but i don’t have the energy to really starve myself anymore even though ik i should#like i realize tge scale went slightly up bc i actually have food going through my intestines plus water weight plus literal shit#and that i look the same way i did last month like all my clothes fit the same and i can find all my body check markers bla bla bla#but i hate the way i look still my chest is huge and broad and my arms are abnormally big and my stomach never shrunk tge way i wanted it to#and all i do all day is think abt food and what i look like and rub the places bones stick out bc i’m terrified ill suddenly lose them#under fat again#and my mom says i’m skinny but ik im not like best case scenario somebody might say i’m slim but that wouldn’t really be true either#i just look stubby bc i’m short and wide and i’ll only look like a person if i’m a few kg lighter i think#and i was doing ok today but i for whatever reason had a protein bar just now?????????? and i tried to puke it back up but ofc my body does#not do that no matter how hard i try#and i don’t think i went over my bmr at least not much but that’s still so disgusting to me#esp since i promised myself i wouldn’t eat past 8pm#whatever. killing myself this year i’m afraid#i actually found a good spot that will 100% kill me tge issue is it’s kind of far from my house by foot#and i usually attempt in the spur of the moment bc i can’t really think abt what i’m doing#but it’s good to know the option is there tbh#anyway. maybe i could plan this better i think 3kg will do it i could just stretch it out in time#even tho if i really commit i could maybe do it in a month#but i think that would break me mentally#📓#u hate food sm it’s unreal whyyyyyy couldn’t i have been thin naturally wtffffff
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