#how depressing but i really do care about my lungs

[daintyca1s]

I wish I could have a cigarette rn 😔

[ninapi]

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝

Premise: A life without the demon corps was just meaningless. Living with a heavy survivor guilt can really eat someone from the inside. That was until a weak light arrived in the most unexpected way possible, breathing life back into his lungs, making him feel needed once more.

Word Count: 5081

Warning: spoilers, the story takes place after the manga’s original timeline.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Shinazugawa Sanemi was not the wind pillar anymore, he wasn’t Genya’s older brother anymore either. There was nobody left in this world that needed him.

After losing his family and dedicating his youth to demon hunting, losing the corps was the final blow for him.

Why was he the only one left?

He should have died if not with his family back in the day he should at least have died defending his brother’s life, Genya should be the one alive right now, not him.

What is the point of being alive when everything you care for was now gone?

He wasn’t particularly good at anything else besides demon hunting, getting a regular job and settling down was definitely not his style. He walked around the neighborhood he used to live in when his family was still alive, the thought of moving back into his old house crossed his mind, maybe do some renovations, hopefully he could drown in his good memories until time would come to give out his last breath.

But the house was now taken by an unknown family. A lot of people lost it all to demons and the destruction they brought with them, it wasn’t uncommon to see abandoned houses here and there, it made sense the house was deemed abandoned, they did leave to never come back.

He had nothing left, not even his old house.

Starting fresh could be encouraging to others, but for Sanemi it was torture.

None of the dojos he visited needed new instructors, majority of them were terrified by his looks alone, if a bunch of guys hitting each other for no apparent reason didn’t want him there what type of job was he supposed to get? It’s not like he was well mannered and literate like Tomioka or had a support network like Tanjiro. What’s the point of being the second strongest pillar if the demons were now all gone.

Sanemi’s lunch was now being given to stray ducks as he had no appetite whatsoever, feeding them was more productive than remaining in such a depressing head space, that’s when an orange rolled in between his feet. He didn’t think much of it, maybe someone dropped it while shopping, but then another orange came rolling next, and then three, making him look back in confusion.

A lone cart full of oranges was coming full speed down a hill with no one pushing it. He had to do something otherwise the villagers could get hurt, he saw small children playing around the area not long ago. Running towards it he was able to stop it before anything major happened, only a few oranges were lost, and the cart was still in good shape. A young woman came running in his direction panting for her life, “Thank you so much, good sir. My cart, it was so heavy, I lost control of it on my way home.”

Not trusting your current strength, he kept on holding the cart, still thinking of the kids running around and how exhausted you looked. “Were you heading down hill?”

“Not really, I was actually supposed to go up the hill behind us, but the cart was heavier than I expected, and it wouldn’t listen to me, so it rolled backwards.” Sanemi stared at said hill with a worrisome expression, that was no hill, that was a full-sized mountain. You were small, looked frail, pale even, little cuts and scars littering your hands. There was no way you could take the cart up that mountain, and it was not like he had anything else to do.

Somehow you reminded him of his mother and how they always needed to help her move heavy stuff around and reach tall places, wanting to help you came out naturally from his heart. “Lead the way.”

“Eh? It’s ok, don’t worry about me. I can take it!” your blushy surprised looking face caused him to scoff, turning the cart around and walking up the first hill. “Like hell you can. Now shut up and tell me where to go.”

“How can I tell you where to go if I shut up?” you were doing your best not to grin at his constipated looking scowl, but instead of teasing him further you just walked beside him in silence. The climb up to your house was steep, but he didn’t even sweat, before you noticed you were now at the entrance of your property, all over way too fast.

“Thank you, good sir. You can leave the cart there I will unload the oranges.” you ran into a small shed, bringing a cloth to wrap them up and bring them all inside. If the cart was heavy, the load was even worse. You couldn’t even lift them from the ground, causing Sanemi to heave a deep sigh. “Don’t you have a husband to help you? Or someone else like a father or brothers? There’s no way you can take all those fucking oranges inside unless you take one at a time and that would take a stupid amount of time.” He grabbed the load with one hand, swinging it over his shoulder like if it weighted nothing, waiting for you to open the door to your abode.

“I do not. My entire family was devoured by a wild beast while I was being treated in a hospice, far from here. Once I regained my strength back, they were all gone. My brother was the one who did all the heavy work around here, my mother and I would pick up the harvest and take care of the animals.” you had a pretty large farm, it wasn’t well tended now but it had several crops still growing and remains of what it used to be an area for livestock. “So, I do most of the work now that I’m alone.”

He knows how uncomfortable sympathetic comments are, so he doesn’t address the information gained, “Why do you even need so many oranges?” a loud thump could be heard as he set them on the kitchen floor, making the wooden floor tremble at the weight. “I was thinking of using them to make some marmalade and sell it at the markets, growing crops is harder than I thought, and I still need to eat, so had to figure something out.”

It was somewhat comforting for Sanemi hearing about the struggles of someone with a similar background. You both couldn’t protect your family, both had to worry about an uncertain future ahead of you. Both had things the other didn’t, but it felt good knowing he wasn’t the only one out there with similar problems.

“Do you like marmalade? I got some bread earlier, come sit down. Let me make you some tea, I still need to thank you for your kindness.” he nodded looking around for a place to sit down, the climb and the lack of food were starting to get to him, it sounded like a good idea.

He never thought making marmalade could be as complex, he had nothing better to do so he just looked at you from where he was sitting. Your hands were so small you needed both of them to stir the mix in the pot, it was amusing. The focus you were putting into making the treat, the tip of your tongue poking out passed your lips in concentration, it was all very eye catching. He’s always admire people that are good at cooking, always wanted to make delicious ohagi for himself, but he wasn’t the best with his hands unless it required brutish strength.

Once the marmalade was ready, you brought it to the small table in front of him, setting down a loaf of bread, a knife and two cups of steaming green tea.

Sanemi thinks back of the last time he was able to relax this way, sad thing really, he hadn’t ever since his mother left this world. Thinking of having afternoon tea without a worry in the world, it’s been over a decade since he had the luxury to do just that.

“Is it good? Do you like it? If you don’t, I can bring out something else.” the expectant look in your eyes made him contemplate what was in his mouth. It was sweet and very refreshing, he’s never had orange marmalade before so he couldn’t really compare it to any other, but he definitely didn’t hate it and wouldn’t mind eating some more. “It’s good, I’m sure it will sell well.” happy with his reply, you tried a bit yourself making mental notes of how to improve it even more.

Teacups were empty, plates clean, it was time for Sanemi to go back to wonder around town, maybe even try to find that one inn he heard about the day before. As he was getting up from his seat heavy rain came pouring down, a loud thunder making you jump. “When it rains this bad around here it takes a while for it to go away; would you like to stay for dinner? Um…sir?”

“Shinazugawa. Shinazugawa Sanemi.”

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Shinazugawa-san? I’m (Y/N) by the way.” he was starting to worry for your well being, you were deliberately letting an unknown man into your house and didn’t even know his name, that was not safe, even without demons around. “Tch, not like I have a choice.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The rain was just not stopping, dinner was done for, and it was pitch black outside, the mountain’s treacherous paths were not places to wonder around in a stormy night like this one, “Shinazugawa-san, how about you stay for the night? You can stay in my brother’s room; I can even lend you some of his clothing so you can take a bath.”

A bath, it’s been days since he took one of those, an alluring offer indeed, but somehow the way you were taking the situation didn’t sit right in his stomach, rage was now bubbling inside his chest at your disregard for your own safety.

“Are you dumb or what? Do you not see me as a man? Hell, you do know you shouldn’t bring men you don’t know into your house, right? Specially not at night.” his angry outburst made you giggle, closing the front door shut to make a statement. “You sound like my brother, he used to say things like that to my mother. I do know you though, you’re the very kind young man that helped a woman in need without asking anything in return, I even know your name now.”

“So what? Is not like I couldn’t just do something to you now that it’s dark, it’s just the two of us here in the mountain, no one would hear if something was to happen, nobody would come even if you screamed for help like a damn pig. Don’t do stupid things like that even if you think you know someone, you don’t know a fucking thing about me.” he was shouting at this point, his fists shacking. He was really a kind man, all he wanted was for you to understand how evil the world out there could be, to others it could be overwhelming to have a figure like him shouting so angrily at them but you could see he was just worried.

“I won’t do it again, Shinazugawa-san, I promise. Now please come with me, I will show you where the bath is.” your attitude and gentle smile were infuriating. All he could think of was how his sweet mother got beaten down by his own father and the men he would bring home sometimes for drinks. How she could barely defend her children and would always ended up hurt, how she had no chance whatsoever to fight stronger men. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself either, you needed some sense put in that head of yours before it was too late.

He pinned you against the bathroom wall, one of his muscular thighs going in between your legs, rendering you useless against his grip, he was glaring down at you in a strangely attractive way triggering many things within you, except fear, “See how easy it is for me if I wanted to hurt your ass? Take me seriously dammit, take every man fucking seriously, you can’t trust someone you don’t know so easily, it will get you killed.” he let go off your wrists roughly, wanting you to learn your lesson, but one of your hands reached for his, “You have a blister. Let me bring a bandage so we can clean it, it was probably the cart, it tends to do that.”

“No, stop. Why are you acting this way? Are you out of your mind? I could have assaulted you just now, open your eyes woman!”

“But you didn’t. You had more than one chance to do as you pleased with me, but you didn’t. Instead, you ate my food, laughed at my jokes, helped me when no one else did. You are a kind man Shinazugawa-san, wether you want to accept it or not. I’m not stupid, I wouldn’t invite someone over to my house if it could do me some harm.”

Sanemi was speechless. You didn’t consider him dangerous? He couldn’t even get a decent job because everyone would look at him like the killer he is. If there was someone dangerous out there it was him, he could kill you without even trying, in seconds, painfully, he was the second strongest in a chain of the strongest people humanity had to offer. There was something off with your view of the world.

“Now, stay still, I’m going to clean it.” his hand has never been held that way before, of course he’s had his wounds tended to, he’s always needing some patching up after his many battles, but your touch was different, it was so gentle, he could feel how you were really worried about him, about his tiny blister hurting with your touch, like if he was as frail as you were. “You gotta make sure the wound is properly cleaned before you apply bandages, look at yourself, all those scars…I bet they were all so painful…you need proper care if you don’t want them to get infected or leave traces. You tell me to take care of myself but wouldn’t look in a mirror first.”

Nobody talks to him like that, specially not females. The girls of the butterfly state were always scared of him and just looking their way would make them run away. The only active women in his life were his mother and sisters, he never had time to mess around with girls or to get his wounds properly taken care of, there were demons out there that needed to be killed and that’s all that mattered to him back then.

“Are you seriously not afraid of me?”

You looked up into his eyes, staring at him in disbelief, his tone was a lot tamer now you could hear the honest confusion lacing his words, “Why would I? You look tough, that’s true. But I am nobody to judge others. My brother also had many scars from taking care of the farm, even several of his toes were missing from when he stepped on a saw by accident, you’re not the only one around with a couple of fingers missing in this violent era. People used to say he was scary, all big and full of scars, skin tanned by the long hours of working in the fields, but he was a gentle man, always took great care of me and my mother. You strike me as the same type, you don’t feel like someone who would hurt the weak, you feel more like someone that protects them.”

Sanemi was left speechless once more as you left for him to enjoy his bath, you made sure the water was warm enough from the outside, blowing on the fire constantly until you heard him come out. He’s never been able to relax this much, he knew demons weren’t a threat anymore but that didn’t only mean he was unemployed, he didn’t think of what that meant fully until now. No demons meant less danger, meant being able to take his time to live life, to breathe, to relax. It was a strange feeling, not having to worry about someone bursting the door open and slaughtering the woman outside, but it was a good kind of strange.

He felt awfully relaxed that night and after years of nightmares, he was finally able to sleep peacefully.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s been three days and the rain just wouldn’t stop. Sanemi had helped you covering the crops so they wouldn’t die out in the rain but there was no sign of it stopping any time soon. It was typhoon season, and it was heavily hitting you this year.

Not only did he help with the crops, but the roof also had holes in it which you two didn’t notice until you woke up to a flooded floor, so he repaired it. Your front door wasn’t safe enough for his liking, so he used his extra time to take care of that as well. He didn’t even notice time was moving this fast and days had gone by. It wasn’t as bad having something to do, keep your mind busy and your body active, regular people life wasn’t as boring and dreadful as he originally thought it was.

There was so much to do around the house that he wondered how you’ve managed to live up here in the mountain by yourself all this time. He got to learn you’ve been living here all alone for a couple of years and you have been doing all you can to not let the farm fall, your determination was admirable and made him question his own future.

“Shinazugawa-san, I enjoy thoroughly having you here, but isn’t your family going to worry? It’s kind of been a while now.” the back of his neck was strangely hot, your comment taking him off guard. He enjoyed the simplicity of the last few days comparing it to the rest of his life, he’s never been able to just sit down and listen to the rain fall on the roof sipping on a hot cup of tea, but he didn’t know you were enjoying it just as much.

“I don’t have a family. They also got killed by a wild beast long time ago, the only brother I had left passed this year, so no, nobody is going to worry about me not returning home, I don’t even have a home.” the stoic look on his face while he was retailing his life tragedy worried you, it’s something he should feel sad for, but he didn’t look sad, he looked angry, and you could understand that feeling, your family was taken away from you in the very same way.

“I bet your brother looked like you.” he wasn’t expecting that, usually people get uncomfortable with the thought of having to empathize with something they can’t understand and start apologizing, but you did go through the same, you stirred the subject around like he usually does when facing the same situation and he was grateful. “Hm, he had less scars than me, was taller, dark hair. But he did kind of look like me.”

“I bet he was kind too.”

“He was.” you were now pouring more tea in his cup, admiring the heavy rainfall through your window. “My brother didn’t look like me at all, he was way kinder, very smart, had the prettiest face I’ve ever seen with beautiful large eyes.” this made Sanemi look at your face, it was difficult to imagine a big muscly guy that looked anything close to the delicate tiny woman in front of him, but then again, he used to see his mother in Genya all the time. “Sounds a lot like you.” blood was flowing at full speed to your cheeks, decorating your lovely face with tinges of reds.

“Sometimes I wish I was the one the beast ate instead of my brother, the farm needs him, he was so good with animals and with the people at the market too, everyone loved him, he was the best of the two of us, it’s a shame really.”

Sanemi was lost in your face, the way your eyes watered at the memory of your brother, the way a soft defeated smile crept on your face signalizing guilt, he felt understood in a very deep level, strangely. “Same. I did all I could to protect my brother, I wanted him to live a normal life, get a wife, have some kids. But he ended up following me around and dying before me anyways. All my efforts were completely useless. I should have died, not him.” his fists were now shaking against the coffee table, veins popping all around his body as a rush of anger and despair rushed through him at the thought of his dying baby brother.

“I’m sure he just wanted to be with his beloved older brother. I used to follow mine around as well, wanted him to teach me how to get milk from the cow and got myself a kick to the face, turns out they get quite stressed if you’re too excited.” the absurdity of it all felt like getting some sort of medication for the illness that consumed his heart, like a serum being injected into his blood stream, cooling his anger down.

“Dumbass.” the sound of your laughter brought new air into the house, a house that is rather quiet all the time was now loud, and it smelled like a proper home.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After two stormy days more, the sun was finally out. There was a lot of work to do in the fields to fix the damage caused by the storm. Sanemi started working on it as soon as he woke up without even asking you, and it took you both all day, something you thought would take an hour ended up extending throughout the entire day.

He was better at this than he thought he would, you even ended up planting some pumpkin seeds you got from the market a while back upon his suggestion of adding different types off crops. The front of the farm looked like a proper one afterwards bringing a powerful sense of completion to the both of you. It was hard work, but teamwork does really make a difference. And you two made a good team.

The sun was setting, all there was left to do was water the crops and prepare dinner, fresh rice already cooking in a pot inside the house. “Maybe you can grow some berries and do your marmalade using them instead of having to buy oranges, growing orange trees seems like a pain in the ass and there are wild berries in the forest, should be easy to find some and bring them here.” you were giving it serious thought, you’ve never thought about changing the ingredients, you were just replicating the treat your mother used to do for you and your brother when you were little. Being so lost in your head doing ingredient calculations and noting ideas for the recipe, you didn’t see the frog that was comfortably resting on your foot. Once you did though, panic filled your insides, you hated frogs and would always stay as far away as possible from them.

“Shinazugawa-san…there’s…there’s a-“ you looked like you were about to faint so he walked closer to you, spotting the aggressor, “(Y/N) is just a stupid frog, move your foot, it’ll go away on its own.” you shook your head closing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to hurt the poor animal out of your own silly phobia.

Sanemi crouched down to your feet, grabbing the little troublemaker and took it over to the edge of the river near your property. When he came back you were still frozen in place, sweating. “It’s gone now.” You were ridiculous, it was just a tiny frog, you couldn’t even defend yourself against a frog, how were you going to defend yourself against the odds of life. You let out a long-held breath, taking his hands in yours as a token of appreciation, quickly forgetting the hose was in your hand and getting his face completely wet.

“(Y/N)….you little piece of shit….” his face was red, a deep snarl on his face. You threw the hose to the ground and ran for your life, laughing in the process. “I’m so sorry!! Kyaaaaa, how are you this fast!” one step of his was five of yours, he caught up to you in no time and the look on his face was a sight to behold.

He wasn’t angry, his wet hair was sticking onto his face, and he was laughing. He looked way younger this way and it made you feel relived to see he was having as much fun as you did these days. Your hand reached his face, caressing the droplets of water away, a loving smile gracing your lips. He wasn’t sure when things started heading in this direction but he’s never felt that way before and he didn’t hate it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There weren’t more excuses for Sanemi to linger around, the rain was gone, the farm cleaned up from the storm, even the marmalade was ready to be sold. He offered to help you with the cart since it was even heavier now that the load had increased.

The idea was for him to take you downtown and then leave and move on with his life, find a job and a place to stay.

But you didn’t even know how to build the display table in the market and then unloading the cart is faster between two people. Then an old lady asked him for three jars of marmalade and by mid afternoon he was still by your side selling your goods.

“Sir, could I convince you and your wife to trade two of your jars for one of my chickens? I don’t have any money left but I would really like to take some home for my kids.” His what- the cloth he was using to clean the table ended up on the floor at her statement, taking him off-guard, you also didn’t say anything to deny it. “What do you think, dear husband? I think it would be a good idea, we could look around and see if we can find her a mate and get eggs from them.” so you were seriously not just going to ignore it but also go along with it-

“Um, yeah. There’s some spare wood in the shed, I could use that to build them a house.” the lady was now handing him the cage with said chicken, waiting anxiously for the last two jars of goodness to be her own.

“You make such a lovely couple; I wish my husband was as understanding and loving as yours. Thank you, my children and I will be forever in your debt, my youngest is celebrating her birthday today, I wanted to bring something special home.” it somehow warmed both of your hearts, you both think of days when you had a large family and how much fun you had eating delicious treats with your siblings, children laughter filling out every corner. “Thank you for your kind words, we’ll take good care of your chicken. I hope you and the children have a lovely evening!” and just like that the marmalade was officially sold out.

“So where do you think we can find Mia’s future husband?” he wasn’t sure how or when you and him became a ‘we’ but he wasn’t mad at how it sounded like and the intentions behind it. “Did you just name the fucking chicken?” he was used to your silly antics by now but it was still very much amusing to him, your quiet giggles confirming he was right. “I saw someone selling some chickens by the entrance, let’s go see if they have one after cleaning up.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Time Skip~

It’s been ten years since Sanemi started coming to this market every morning. He still misses the fun days of demon hunting, but mostly he still misses his brother. Life wasn’t as good to Genya as it was to him, and he still felt guilty from living the life he wanted his brother to have.

Having a permanent stall in the market came with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of hard work, but his strength was put to good use by the smartest person he’s ever met.

“How much for the corn?” Sanemi, who was now cleaning the small worktable looked up to tend his first customer of the day. “If you take two you get one fr- Tomioka???” Giyuu was smirking at him from the other side of the table, a knowing look in his eyes. “That apron looks good on you, Shinazugawa.” Leaving the stall behind, he walked over to his old pillar mate, it’s been years since the last time they saw each other.

“Heard your stupid ass went to live with his old master like a sissy lost baby, near Tanjiro and the gang of brats.”

Some things never change.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, we didn’t even know you were still alive.” the conversation got cut short by a child clinging onto Sanemi’s leg, getting Giyuu’s attention. “Father, mother needs your help unloading the milk crates.”

Crouching down to his size, Giyuu stares into the child's eyes, lost in the memories of his lost friends, painful days of loss came right into his heart, “You look just like your uncle.” patting the child on the head, he smiled, the ghosts of his lost comrades shining behind the toddler. “I know, I was named Genma after uncle, but my hair is like this because of mother, the rest have father’s hair.” As if on cue you came out of the back with a baby tied to your back, an older looking boy than the one before him holding a sleeping girl in his arms. “Nemi, the milk!”

“I see you’ve been busy.” Sanemi’s face was red as a beet, making him grumble insults quietly for his child not to hear.

“I’ll do it in a second, come here, I want you to meet an old friend of mine.” this was the first time any of them had addressed the love-hate relationship they had in the past as friendship, but now being older they both agree that’s what it was. “Tomioka, this is my wife (Y/N)”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you…and your four children…” the smirk on his face was so sly nobody would notice it but Sanemi, it made him want to punch his guts like he would do back in the day when they were younger.

“Is that your wife over there, Tomioka-san? I see you also have a little one, take some of our milk, our kids love it!” The child looked just like him, it was an easy guess. You were doing your best to move around with a child on your back and a swell on your stomach, a promise of another youngster arriving soon. The woman behind Giyuu came holding his son and after a long chat and bunch of laughter they promised to go to your place for dinner soon.

Ten years ago Sanemi thought he had lost it all.

And he did.

But he made a silent promise to Genya after meeting you, he would live as long as he could, never waste the opportunity to live his brother gave him, never let his sacrifice be in vain, he would live for the both of them, he would bring life to this world and protect it the way he couldn’t protect his siblings, he would protect his family until his last breath and once that moment comes and he gets to see him again, he will have many stories to share as they embrace eternity together, as family.

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Tagged babes: @doumadono

Masterlist Bonus Chapter

[chaoticcupcakeee]

Chapter One: Professor Harrington and Mr. Munson

***THERE WILL BE LOTS SMUT 18+ CONTENT EVENTUALLY SO MINORS THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR YOU, MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED,IF YOU DONT HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO I WILL LIKELY ASSUME YOU'RE A MINOR AND BLOCK. DM FOR ANY QUESTIONS THANKS!<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not much...YET.. lots of smutty smutt smutt to come. Vague mention of depression/ bad childhood/anxiety , mention of drug use/ cigarette smoking, Eddie and Steve being hot, Reader is in their mid 20s and Eddie and Steve are early to mid 40s

Summary: Reader moves to the one and only Hawkins, Indiana and meets her sexy new sociology professor and realizes she might have a crush on her best friends dad..oops

Authors Note: Hi folks!!! this is so nerve wracking i've never really properly written for either of these characters before except in my head and reading lots and lots of smut! I really hope you guys like it, i'm really excited for what's to come for this series, I haven't thought of a name for it yet so i'm just going to go chapter by chapter but its gonna be a fucking wild ride so buckle your seat belts :) 4k words (Also older Eddie pic by the lovely @eddiemunsons-missingnipple )

**Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five**

(banners and headers by @cafekitsune)

Were you doing the right thing? Could you do this on your own? What if you failed?

Your head filled with doubt now that your dreams you’ve had since you graduated high school were now coming to fruition. You saved up all the money you could, working odd jobs for a few years after high school to have enough money to get out of your hometown and into a good college states away.

You shake away all the negative thoughts, no. This had to work you were going to make sure it worked. This is your new start, to create your own life. It had to be better than back home, where no one gave a shit about you and your own parents didn’t care enough to stick around after you graduated high school, not that they were the most involved parents to begin with anyways. Even the friends you had back home were just party related or friends of friends, you were always on the outside looking in, never properly fitting anywhere. The only reason you decided to move specifically to Hawkins was because your only real friend, Violet, that you’ve had since you were 12 had moved here 10 years ago and you’d made a pact long ago that if you ever got out of that town, you’d follow her here.

You pinch your fingers to the bridge of your nose, willing the thought of your parents and back home to go back into the little dark corner of your brain. You can’t breakdown now, not right before your first class, how pathetic would that be?

“Focus focus focus, come on you got this.” you muttered quietly to yourself over and over until the anxiety subsided. You take a deep breath, willing your lungs to fill with air to cool down your buzzing insides. You look in your car mirror to make sure your makeup still looked good and fidgeted with your clothes.

You were never one to obsess over your appearance by any means, but you really wanted to make a good first impression. You had your hair pulled up into a butterfly clip and had on your favorite dress a pair of black tights and your trusty Dr. Martens. With one final look in the mirror, you sigh and grab your bookbag and get out of your car. You look on your phone to triple check that you were in the right place, the last thing you needed was to be lost or even worse late to your first class.

You’d only moved into your apartment off campus the day before so you haven’t had time to look around the town or get used to your surroundings yet. You noted that your car didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Your car was a few years old and was always something of an insecurity for you. But most of the cars that filled the almost completely full parking lot were older or used cars, which put you at ease. You head into the Humanities and Social Sciences building and check for a fourth time, Sociology 101 room E142 Professor Harrington.

The room is much bigger than you thought, chairs and desks circling the podium at the front of the room. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the room was only half full of other stressed out looking students preparing for their day ahead. You decide to pick a seat towards the middle of the room to not look too eager.

As you’re getting your laptop and books out of your bookbag you hear footsteps walking into the room and the girls behind you immediately start giggling and whispering to each other. You look to see where they’re looking hoping they aren’t making fun of you, you see them biting their lips and looking at the front of the class. You follow their eyeline and your breath hitches.

Where your sociology professor should be standing is an Adonis, he has thick honey brown hair, peppered with grey, that frame his handsome face. His skin impossibly sun kissed like he’d just come back from a tropical island and not living in Hawkins, Indiana. He smiles nervously at the class; his smile is warmer than the sun despite his nervousness, warming you from the inside out. He’s wearing a white button down covered by a navy blue sweater, a pair of grey slacks and black high top converse.

“Ahoy folks! Are you guys ready to set sail on this vast ocean called Sociology with me? I’ll be your Captain Professor Harrington!” he claps his hands, his eyes waiting and hoping for a response.

The girls behind you giggle and a few other students around the room follow suit, he sighs contently. He goes onto explaining the syllabus and assignments for this semester. The class flies by, he’s easy to listen and pay attention to, sure his looks help but he seems genuinely interested in what he’s teaching. Which is a breath of fresh air, you diligently take notes, making sure not to miss anything. Before you know it, class is over and people start packing up their things.

“Oh class before I forget, if any of you are commuters, come get a parking pass from me unless you want a ticket.” he announces to the class, most of the class you assume living in the dorms hurry out of the room.

“Because not only are we charging students tuition we are also charging students just to park on campus, capitalism at its finest folks,” he snorts, shakes his head, and walks to his desk leaning against it.

After finally putting all your things away and checking where your next class is you head up to him. Just being near him makes your heart beat a million miles a minute, like your unworthy of being in his presence let alone so close to him.

He smiles warmer and wider as you stand in front of him, “Hey what can I do ya for?” he asks brightly.

“Oh, uh, I just need a parking pass if that’s okay,” you say quietly.

“More than okay my dear!” he declared. You blush at his words while he picks around in his desk drawer for a parking pass. His nose scrunches up in frustration as the digging becomes hastier and more urgent.

“I coulda swore I put em in here… or did I leave them in my office?... shit,” he breathes.

You giggle at his disorganization, and he looks up at you embarrassed, you wondered how a man who looks like how he does could ever be embarrassed about anything. The girls who sit behind you would agree.

“I promise I’m not usually this discombobulated.. just uh first days always come sooner than I think.” he chuckles

You nod knowingly at him “No worries I can always get it tomorrow or something.” you say waving his worries off.

He looks up at you through his glasses relieved “Really? That- that would be amazing. I would go grab them from my office, but I don’t think I have enough time to before my next class.” He studies you for a second like he’s actually looking at you for the first time.

“What’s your name again hun?” he says casually, as he opens his computer and types on his keyboard.

Your heart flutters at the continued use of nicknames, you take a second to study him again before you respond. He’s hunched over his desk, typing and clicking away on his computer like he’s searching for something. His eyes crinkled at the edges with age, memories of many days smiling and being in the sun. You notice his freckles that adorn his face and neck that you couldn’t see during class. If you had it your way, you’d take your time to count them all to try and make sense of his godly beauty. And his hands.. his hands look so strong effortlessly gliding across his keyboard.

You must have taken too long to answer because he looks up at you expectantly and raises his eyebrow and smirks. You shake your head slightly trying to regain your composure.

“S-sorry first day jitters, my heads a bit scrambled,” you confess to him. You tell him your name quickly, you hoped that your cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt.

His eyes softened a bit and nodded and continued to type on his computer for a couple more seconds before turning to you again.

“I emailed campus security to let them know that it’s my fault you don’t have a pass and if they do give you a ticket just bring it to me and I’ll sort it out for you, okay?” he states and steps away from his computer to face you again.

“Oh wow thank you so much Mr. Harrington, I really appreciate it!” you chirp

His face scrunches up at the name, and chuckles, some of his honey brown hair falling in front of his face, his hand ready to catch them and put the strands back in place. You were mesmerized.

“Uh Mr. Harrington is my father, call me Steve er Professor Harrington works to if you don’t want to be on a first name basis.” He says kindly

“Oh well thank you regardless…Steve.” his name sounds foreign but good on your tongue. You stare at your shoes and then realize that you’ve been in here looking at your professor for far too long.

What the fuck were you thinking? He probably thinks you’re insane but is too nice to say so.

“Ya of course,” he dismisses you easily.

“Anyways I don’t wanna keep you, have a good day,” you apologize.

"You too Y/N,” he calls, as you head out the door, glad that your back is to him so he can’t see you blush again just because he said your first name.

“Get it the fuck together.” you mutter to yourself as you walk aimlessly out of his classroom.

The rest of the day goes without a hitch, you find yourself actually excited for the upcoming topics in your classes. You’ve never given yourself the opportunity to properly nerd out about the things you’re interested in.

You finally get back to your car after all your classes and groan at the sight of a ticket stuck onto your windshield.

“Fuck…” you whine

Too tired to get it taken care of today you drive home and plop on your bed. Even though your classes were super interesting, it was very mentally draining. Extra draining because you’ve tried to force your brain to focus on classes and not think about your sexy sociology professor.

Was he this nice to all his students? Did you catch him eyeing you up while you were talking or were your eyes playing tricks on you? You keep trying to reassure yourself he is just really nice. But his hands… his smile…

You groan and rub your hands against your face trying to shake all the whirling thoughts out of your head. You force yourself to think about literally anything else, then your tummy rumbles. You haven’t had time to grocery shop considering you had just moved in yesterday and your fridge was completely empty except for some bottles of water and condiments.

Your phone buzzes next to you on your bed, you open it and smile.

“BITCHHHH I MISS U COME OVER! You’ve been in Hawkins over 24 hours & ive gotten radio silence from u! ur presence is being requested in the munson household immediately!

P.S Bring food my dad is starving me over here”

“At your service m’lady, cheeseburgers good?” you respond quickly

“ur a life saver babe<3”

Your mind drifts away from your professor and the ticket that is burning a hole in your bookbag. This place already feels more like home than any time you’ve ever spent where you were born. You missed your best friend so much. Violet Munson has been your ride or die best friend for as long as you can remember. You two became friends when you were sitting alone in the lunch room one day and she came and sat right down next to you and you two have been inseparable ever since… that is until her dad decided to move her back to Hawkins to be closer to family after the divorce right before freshman year. You had been crushed getting your best friend ripped away from you like that, but then you guys made the pack to get out of dodge when you could, and now you’re here… in Hawkins,Indiana.

You change into comfy clothes and grab some cheeseburgers, fries, and onion rings from the only burger joint in town and headed over to the Munson residence. You’ve never actually been to her house before because your parents never allowed you to visit after she moved away, so you two mostly kept in contact over constant texts and lots of facetiming.

Pulling up to her house you were more nervous than you thought, you hadn’t seen her in so long and hoped things wouldn’t be awkward. You turned off the ignition, grabbed the food, and went to open your door when you heard a scream come from the front of the house. You lift your eyes to see your best friend jumping up and down on the front porch in her pajamas. Violet had long bright purple hair and thick black eyeliner, kind eyes, a wide smile, and an infectious laugh.

“YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING HERE HOLY SHIT!”

You laughed and dropped all the food in the front seat of your car and ran to meet her in the middle of her lawn and tackled her to the ground. You hugged her tight, squeezing your eyes together wishing the tears at the corner of your eyes to go away.

“Vi I missed you so fucking much.” you whisper

“Awe babe I missed you too.” she shares

You both get up off the grass and you grab the food and head inside. You set the food down in front of the tv like you used to do when she lived closer to you. You sit down on the couch and while she grabs plates. You sigh deeper into the couch, everything was just picking up exactly where you two had left off, you were gonna be okay. You smile quietly to yourself and then head to the kitchen to help her bring everything into the living room. You decide to watch a new horror movie that just came out, the two of you always bonding over everything creepy and spooky. You let Violet tell you about her partner Quinn, who she met a few years ago and was head over heels in love with.

Then the front doorknob jingled, and you heard the familiar thud of heavy boots.

“Ho- holy shit is that Y/N?!”

You turn to face the familiar voice at the door. “Hey Mr. Munson, long time no see!” you breathe.

Fuckk… when did Vi’s dad get so... hot?... what the hell is wrong with you today? First your sociology professor and now your best friends DAD?!

He grins widely at you just like his daughter, he shrugs out of his boots and walks into the living room.

“I got you a cheeseburger on my way over, still like double meat and cheese on your burger?” you question.

Mr. Munson puts a hand over his heart and falls into the love seat next to the tv.

“You remembered, I’m touched sweetheart.” he beamed.

“oh yeah no problem at all!” you blush.

“Well I’ll let you guys catchup, don’t need me harshing the vibes, Vi’s been nonstop talking about you coming to Hawkins  a month!” he chattered

Out of the corner of your eye you see Violet roll her eyes at her father.

“Dad no one fucking says “harshing the vibes” anymore or at all, you’re aging yourself old man,” she chortles

Mr. Munson chuckles and puts his hands up in the air in surrender “Alright alright I’m leaving, if you guys need anything I’ll be in the garage. Thanks again for the burger Y/N!” he says kindly holding up the burger in one of his large tattooed hands.

You beam up at him happy to help, and this time you get a good look at your best friends dad. He’s aged so much better than you could ever imagine a man with Mr. Munsons lifestyle to ever age, the expression aged like fine wine captures it perfectly.

His brown hair still wild and curly as its always been but tied up into a low bun at the base of his neck. Only difference is the now visible little grey streaks that run through random curls. He has more laugh lines at the side of his mouth and the corners of his eyes. Still wearing his normal garb, black jeans with loads of rips, a band tee with a leather jacket. His chocolate brown eyes still full of mischief and debauchery. His nose ring ever present but you spy a few more additions to his tattoo collection, specifically a new neck tattoo and a few more on his hands.

Fuck his hands… wait you have to answer him. Answer him before it’s weird that you’ve been staring at him so long.. you’re really on a fucking roll today.

“It was my pleasure Mr. Munson really,” you gush.

He gives you a wink that goes straight to your core and vibrates in your bones and heads to the garage.

Violet didn’t seem to notice how flushed you were, eyes still on the screen, interjecting at random times when a scene looks to fake or when the blood splattering doesn’t look real enough.

After the movie the two of you head upstairs to Vi’s room, she wanted to show you her new additions to her every growing crystal collection and a few polaroid pictures of her and her partner.

“They literally make me feel like a princess I feel so lucky, for our 3 year anniversary they gave me these black tourmaline pentagram earrings, aren’t they so cute?!”

Your heart fills with warmth, Violet has always been loud and unique, you are so happy for her that she found someone who accepts her for who she is and loves her for it.

“That’s really sweet Vi, i'm so happy you have them, and that they treat you so well,” you grin.

“Thanks… what about you though? You’ve always been very singular… looking to change that any time soon? You deserve to be happy babe, even if it just means getting laid you deserve to get some. You’re a fucking catch dude” ,she compliments

“I mean you know I had a thing with Dylan for awhile before he got back with his girlfriend...” you murmur

“Oh COME ON, you know that’s not what I mean, not some assholes rebound!” she insists

“Vi I don’t have a line down the block like you used to have, you’ve got that whole hot sexy goth girl shit going on, I’m just me.” you babble and point to your gorgeous best friend

“What about Tom? You were with Tom for a long time what happened with him?” she asks obliviously.

“Fuckin cheated on me,” you sigh. Re-living your lack of romantic endeavors to your very not single best friend being up there in the top 10 most pathetic things to date.

“Oh fuck that guy, how fucking dare he!” she sneers while she tries to light the perfectly wrapped blunt in her hand.

“Shit I think my lighters dead, can you go ask my dad if he has an extra?”

You nod and head downstairs and search for the door that leads to the garage, finally you find the door you’re looking for and the image in front of you almost makes you audibly gasp.

Mr. Munson has a cigarette between his lips hes strumming along to some metal song that he’s humming the tune to, occasionally sucking in smoke and blowing out the side of his mouth. His head bobbing to the tune of the song completely in his own world. He’s beautiful.

You look at the way his fingers move to the beat and strum the strings on his guitar, mesmerized by how pretty they are. You can see all the calloses on his hands from all of the years of playing.

Your hand moves without thinking and knocks on the side of the garage door, getting Mr. Munsons attention.

“Oh shit, hey honey, ya need something?" He questions

“oh yeah sorry, Vi’s lighter ran out, and we were trying to light a blunt, you got an extra?” You ask.

Growing up, Mr. Munson had always been the more laid back between Violets two parents, letting her test the waters herself allowing more than the normal parent would. But as long as she was being safe and not doing any hard drugs he was mostly lenient with her. Not that it mattered much now that she’s grown.

“Uh yeah I probably got one around here somewhere, come pop a squat while I look.” he gestures to the chair beside him.

Your legs wobble while you move into the garage, it smelled so uniquely of him. His leather jacket draped over the back of his chair, smoke in the air, and metal music playing lowly in the background.

His space made you feel at home, the garage door was open so you could see the sun setting in the sky, and the metal music is weirdly comforting. You find yourself tapping your feet to the beat.

Eddie went to his truck looking for an extra lighter and your eyes wander to his guitar. You can tell he really cares about it, its clean, the strings look freshly changed, and recently polished.

“Oh yeah she’s a beaut isn’t she?" He observes proudly, leaning against his car with a new found lighter in hand.

“Yeah really pretty Mr. Munson,” you remark.

He smiles at you, “Here ya go, I don’t know how much juice is left in it.” He hands you the lighter, for the few seconds your hands connect you see how much bigger his hands are than yours, it almost makes you topple over in your chair.

“Thanks,” you reply. You grab the lighter with your hand and put it in your pocket and push out of the chair headed back into the house.

“Were you always this shy?” he asks inquisitively.

You turn around to face him confused by his question, you never really considered yourself shy, it just takes some time for you to come out of your shell.

“Shy?” you reply. fidgeting with a loose string on your sweatpants, your lips in a fine line.

“Yeah..you just seem.. shy or sad maybe, you doin okay?” he presses

You sigh hard trying to find the right words to explain the last few years and what would be appropriate to share with your best friends dad. “I’m fine really, just a long few days.” you share and smile to try and make it convincing.

He clicks his tongue and you know that he doesn’t believe you, your heart sinks. You never want to put your sadness or hurt onto anyone else, you’re a big girl and you can handle it on your own. You change the subject to the empty beer glass on the table in front of him, “Need another beer?” you ask

“Read my mind darlin, thanks,” he replies.

You head to the kitchen to grab him his beer and head back to the garage to bring it to him. When you get back he’s back at it strumming on his guitar in his own world, you wish for a second maybe you could just sit in his little world with him, it’s quiet and peaceful, no thinking required. You set the beer on the table and turn to head back upstairs.

“Hey Y/N, if you need anything or even just to talk I’m around, I know I’m not Violet, but if you need another friendly face, I’m here.” he smiles warmly at you.

Your heart melts, of course he’s the sweetest man in the whole world. “Thank you Mr. Munson that really means a lot,” you blush. Thankful to have one more person in this town on your side.

You close the door behind you and rush back upstairs hoping Violet doesn’t notice how long you’ve been gone. You hear voices and giggling on the other side of the door,

She’s on the phone with Quinn.

“She’s returned! Come here I want you to meet Quinn!” she exclaims. You breathe out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, no excuse necessary. Your friendship with Violet has always easier than breathing. You spend the rest of the night smoking weed and talking on the phone with her partner, glad to have the distraction from your recent interaction with her dad.

Did he really mean what he said? Or was he also just being nice? I guess he kind of has to be nice to me, being his daughters best friend. Plus he’s so out of my league, a man like him would never go for a girl like me, right?

Only time will tell.

No Pressure Tags!: (Just tagging some mutuals I thought might enjoy!) ** If you wanna be tagged in the next fic lemme know**

@untitled74745 @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @munsonology @lesservillain @tlclick73 @dukesmebby @cozyquinn @rowanswriting @succubusmunson @teddyeyeseddie @lofaewrites @chaoticmunsons @ryan-waddell11

[captain039]

PART 6 Daddy’s Little Girl

Logan x reader

Warnings: Age gap (early twenties reader), swearing, first times, virgin reader, plus size reader, tension, oral f receiving, smut, daddy kink, dom! logan, Abuse (Not from Logan), anxiety, depression, mention of self-harm scars, reader has muscle issues and body pain, angst, unprotected p in v

Taglist: @mmeerraa @the141bandicoot @clairealeehelsing @dirtydianaahah @babey-fruit-bat @roseydoesypoesy @landlockedmermaid77

SAY IT WITH ME NOW: HE TALKS YOU THROUGH IT FFFAAAWWWKKKK

Previous part <-

You’re not sure how it happened really everything happened quickly. One minutes he’s confessing and staring at you the next you were pressed against the sliding door with his mouth on yours. God it felt good. His mouth devouring yours hungrily his hands gripping your thighs, your hips your sides anywhere he could touch. He’s snarling and you’re panting, struggling to keep up with his hungry appetite. Your small bag of belongings are forgotten on the floor as he grips your thighs.

“Jump” he growls and you hesitate.

“I said jump” he says again and you do. The man groans against your lips, strong hands holding your thighs tightly your back pressed against the glass while he kisses you roughly. You have to pull back your lungs burning and tears pricking your eyes. His mouth moves down your jaw to your neck, kissing and sucking as he rocks his hips into yours. You moan at the friction against your clothed heat, head hitting the glass softly.

“Put your arms around me” he says against your neck and you do. He moves away from the window and walks down to his room. He lays you down with a small bounce and you breathe heavily as he lifts his body and stares at you. You admire him, the light sheen he’s got across his body the way his chest rises and falls heavily the flushed look on his skin. He kneels down and you frown briefly as he undoes your boots and slips them off, then your socks. He tugs you close so your knees bend at the end of the bed before he runs his hands up your Jean covered legs and halt at your buttons. You struggle to breathe, your shirt and jumper exposing a small amount of stomach. He looks at you questioningly and you nod as he undoes your buttons and slides down your pants. You freeze though, you never had the chance to shave.

“Logan-“ you say and he lifts his head looking to you.

“I haven’t shaved, anywhere-“ you’re embarrassed as he leans over you now fully, face to face.

“You think I care about hair?” He asks and you gulp a bit before shaking your head softly.

“Exactly” he says pressing his lips to yours his hand running up your thigh. You feel so bad about it, not being smooth like other women.

“Stop thinking about it” he whispers against your lips and you sigh.

“Look at me” he says and you do as he pulls back a bit.

“I don’t care about your hair, or your body, right now-“ he stops sucking in a small breath.

“Right now I want to taste you, feel you come on my tongue” he growls and you let out a small sound as he keeps his eyes on you.

“Ok” you nod and whisper as he slides back down your body. His breath is hot against your underwear his hands teasing the hems before he slides them down your legs. You close your eyes and place your hands over them.

“Fuck” he mutters and you shudder feeling his breath against your mound.

“I’m gonna tug you closer to the edge of the bed, or do you want to be on the mattress?” He asks and you struggle for words. Your legs feel like they’re going numb.

“My legs feel funny like this” you whisper.

“Ok sweetheart. Scotch back till you reach the pillow” he orders softly and you do as he says wriggling back till your head hits the mattress. He follows you on his hands and knees face to face again. He moves your legs open so he can rest there pressing your body’s together. You make a small sound feeling how hard he is against your exposed sex.

“I know you were awake when you came to my bed, felt how hard I was then” he mutters and you go warm instantly.

“I dreamt about you, Jesus Christ, you standing there in my shirt and your panties when you walked in” he sighs softly.

“I forgot what I was wearing” you mumbled embarrassed.

“I don’t care, I see you again though in that outfit it will come off very quickly” he smirks before he kisses you a little more gentler this time. He grinds his hips into yours slowly pressing himself against you as you open your mouth to sigh. He takes the chance to explore your mouth with his tongue, keeping slow pressure against you. He pulls back and slowly goes down your body again, you bite your inner cheek arm going over your eyes. You feel him run his hands up your legs, your thighs closing automatically before he pries them open. You feel his warmth breath against you before a hot tongue swipes through your folds. You gasp loudly hand flying to grip his hair. You look at him now your arms moved, between your thighs eyes closed as he moans. You arch your back never having felt anything like this and tug him closer. He obliges, his nose, tongue and lips up in your sex. You let go of his hair feeling bad for gripping it but his hand catch’s yours and brings it back. You whimper and moan hips grinding against his face, you can’t help it, your body acting on its own as his tongue prods in and out of your entrance, his nose brushing against your clit.

“Logan” you mumble. He moves to suck at your clit tongue pushing and swirling, you jolt softly, stomach clenching before you feel his fingers join. You go a little rigid, you’ve orgasmed before, played with yourself before, your fingers barely fitting.

“I’ve got you” he rumbles out against you before he runs his finger through your slick before pressing one in. He continues with his tongue, pumping his finger in and out. You moan, struggling to contain any noise and grip his hair tighter. You feel him add a second finger and wince a little at the stretch.

“Relax, baby girl” he says and you try to, relaxing your hips and back and breathing carefully.

“Good girl” he mutters the praise making you whine. Your stomach tightens more and more and you struggle to form words.

“Let go, daddy’s got you” he growls and you do, you feel yourself clench around his fingers and come on them. He rides you out, continuing his movements before he removes his fingers and laps at your hole. You’re over sensitive from the orgasm and squirm as he does. He lifts his head as your hands lay slack at your sides. He licks his fingers clean and you flush at the act. You manage to move your arm over your eyes, taking shuddering breaths.

“You’re ok” he says and you nod as he lays against you, pressing soft kisses to your face. You move your arm seeing him smiling down at you. He kisses you again, you make a small sound and taste yourself on his tongue. It was strange, tasting yourself on his tongue. You feel him slowly rubbing himself against you like he can’t help it, you feel the wet patch on his boxers. You grip his shoulders, see him frown briefly before you’re flipping him on his back. He sighs, easily going as you keep your weight off him. You lean on your sore knees currently crying out in this position. You wince a little but shuffle back onto his calves watching his stomach rise and fall with each heavy breath. You admire his chest, his stomach and well toned abs, see the hair on his chest and lower stomach trailing down under the hem of his pants. You gulp a little not daring to look him in the eye just yet as you grab the hem of his pants and gently, but awkwardly move them down. Logan helps, he lifts his hips before he’s kicking them off. You breathe in seeing the strain against his boxers, the size of the strain. You glance to his face finally seeing him waiting, watching.

“I haven’t-“ you gulp lying your shaky hands against his hips. You have to sit down, the pain in your knees too much from holding your weight up.

“Sorry” you mutter.

“I’m not hurting you?” You ask worry in your voice as he frowns and lifts his upper half up. He pulls you close so your naked sex is on his clothed cock. You flush in embarrassment, feeling it against you like this.

“You can’t hurt me” he says softly hands gently kneading your hips. He moves to the hem of your shirt and you lift your arms as he removes it on discards it on the floor. He unclips your bra with ease and slowly takes it off leaving you fully exposed.

“Ok?” He asks and you nod as you feel his hand snake up your stomach and cup one of your breasts. You suck in a small breath feeling him knead it before he leans down and presses his lips to the other. You gasp softly as his mouth captures your nipples and teases the bud with his tongue while squeezing the other one softly in your hand. He fondles and sucks gently before swapping sides and giving the same treatment. You run your fingers through his hair and he groans softly against your nipple.

“I need to fuck you desperately, will you let me pretty girl?” He whispers keeping his eyes on you and you nod a little too eager. He smirks before he lifts you up a little and slides off his boxers. He lowers you back down, his cock sliding between your folds as he guides your hips back and forth.

“Jesus” he groans pressing his hungry lips to yours.

“You ready?” He mutters against your lips and you nod again.

“Words sweetheart” he adds.

“Yes, please” you say softly, begging almost. He guides you with one hand to a lift again, his free hand holding his cock against your entrance.

“We’re gonna go nice and slow, take your time, it may hurt” he says keeping his eyes on you as you nod.

“Alright, lower your hips princess” he whispers gravely and you obey. You bite your inner cheek as you feel him push in.

“That’s it, nice and slow” he presses kisses against your face as you lower down some more and whimper.

“I’ve got you sweet girl, you’re alright, I’m right here” you grip his shoulders as you lower some more hearing him intake a breath.

“That’s it, doing so good for me, just a little more” he mumbles against your ear as you lean your forehead against his. You feel the plush of your backside and thighs hit his and let out a small broken moan.

“Fuck, you feel so good, you did so good for me baby girl” his words of praise make you whine as you ignore the pain in your legs. It stings, you feel so full, but it feels so good. You relax your legs fully resting on him, he whispers praises, his hands clutching your hips.

“You ok?” He asks and you nod against him moving your hips and hearing him moan.

“Fuck” he grounds out and you do it again, moving your hips back and forth feeling your clit rub against him. You set a slow rhythm of you just rocking back and forth, the feeling in your legs going numb as you rise slowly and fall slowly. You make a small noise and pant feeling your legs giving up.

“What’s wrong? Is it your legs sweetheart?” He asks like he already knew and you nod.

“Ok, I’m gonna flip us back alright, you need to feel good” you move easily letting him lay you down on the mattress your legs feeling instant relief as Logan covers you with his body, slotting between your thighs.

“Better?” He asks and you nod as he kisses you.

“I’m gonna go in again ok?” You nod letting your arms rest against the mattress as he pushes back in. The angles different and you moan quietly biting your inner cheek again.

“I’m gonna go slow, alright” he says as his hips begin moving slowly. You lift your hands to grip his arms as he leans down to kiss and suck at your neck.

“Jesus, you feel so good around me” he mutters against your ear and all you can do is moan in response as he speeds up.

“You’re ok” he mutters hearing you whine again. He mutters a curse snapping his hips a little as you let out a loud moan. The feeling felt so good, something deep inside.

“Found you” he mutters as he hits that spot again. You moan in bliss as he begins to quicken his pace.

“That’s it” he says as you feel yourself clench around him. Your stomach tightening but you need more and a needy embarrassing whine leaves your lips as you arch your back.

“I know, I’ve got you sweet girl” he lifts his head from your neck, his hand going between your body’s and pressing against your clit. You let out another moan, panting loudly as he continues rubbing and thrusting into you at the same pace.

“Logan” you manage out gasping loudly as you clench around him and come. It’s better than before, you shudder and shake as Logan rides you out again, his hips stuttering.

“Fuck” he growls his hand leaving your clit and resting against the mattress. His hips stutter before he release inside you, his breathing heavy a small groan leaving his lips. His come fills you, you’re light headed as he pants above you.

“Good girl, you did so good” he praises as you wrap your arms around him and press your lips to his mouth. He accepts quickly, leaning his body against yours kissing you deeply.

“I’m gonna go get a warm small towel ok? I’ll be back” he presses one last kiss to your head before he slips out and gets up.

You’re in a blissful haze as he comes back, he gently cleans you up, making you jolt a little as he swipes over sensitive spots before he throws the small towel in the washing basket. He crawls back into bed, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you to him. You go, lying on your side, feeling like jelly as you tuck yourself under his chin.

“Get some rest” he mutters and you do.

Next part ->

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Let's go enjoy the sun and 55!

Hopefully I'm doing this correctly eksoqheb-

Let's go enjoy the sun!

Haru might have convinced you to help out for their fundraiser so let's see who are the three people who come to spend the evening in Jabberwock

Wc: ~1,8k

“Is everything ready?” Haru asks from the door of Jabberwock while he carries out a very homemade stand under his arm before setting it down. It's the equivalent to a child's lemonade stand but rather it read ‘jabberwock fundraiser’ in big black letters

“Are you honestly doing this?”

“We are really in need of money, ren!” He pouts before saying something to Towa who was humming in agreement.

“Why are you even here? You aren't even part of Jabberwock” Ren looks up from his raid to side eye you.

“Haru looked pretty depressed while he vented so I decided to help”

“Are you stupid or spineless?” a sigh leaves his lips and he doesn't wait for an answer before focusing again on his phone.

“Stop bothering them, Ren! At least I heard what you said so now you only have to wait on visitors and charge them”

“And you forced me to not take shifts to do what I do for my job?” 

Ignoring him Haru pulls a marker and writes down the prices.

500 yen for 30 minute foraging group tour with Towa

800 yen for 30 minute capybus ride with Haru

But when you reach your price for essentially frolicking around the hills and sunbathing your breath scapes your lungs

“So expensive”

“Don't undersell yourself!” Haru chimes and towa hums “I'm sure you will get us more earnings than you think!”

“That is like 2500 diamonds in Shock of clans” Ren comments, and it makes you remember when he spent 30 minutes thinking if buying diamonds was smart. Next he throws a sly smirk  “seems like someone else can take care of the cashier for me”

“Then you can go feed the salamanders! Such good thinking Ren!” Haru chimes.

“Forget it, I just remembered they weren't good at math"

“Hello, senpai” Sho smiles as he hands the money to Ren, who was still bitching about now having to pay proper attention to his job and not the game.

“oh? I didn't expect you to come by, Sho!” quickly you walk around the stand and hug him. Seeing he paid, you link both of your arms and start leading where Haru told you was your ‘station’.  

“and leave you with whatever pervert might come? After you helped around the truck some weirdos came asking when you would be there again” 

“Mhm, so you decided to be the weirdo?” You two walk down a path between some overgrown red cap mushrooms that were as tall as trees, this would be such a good place to record an Alice in wonderland movie.

“Here I come trying to save you from perverts and this is how I get treated?” Sho feigns being hurt, his hand slapping his chest “so what were you supposed to do?”

You throw yourself on the red blanket laying down on the floor before smiling knowing he would crack up “ I'm hosting a flower themed tea party” and your hand signals to the glass teapot with lotus designs and the matching lotus shaped teacups that hotarubi lent “and if you want I can make you a flower crown” without missing a beat he laughs “to be fair, I thought I would lead a tour or play cashier” 

“And they ended up having you serve tea?” You nod “and you didn't complain?” you nod again “well, are you going to pour me or what?” He sits down next to you, soon drinking the jasmine tea.

For the hour that he booked you two mostly chatted about how he was doing, how he was getting closer to Subaru, and how his food truck was going. It was so nice to be able to chat with Sho without Leo interrupting or him dividing his attention between cooking and receiving clients but every few minutes his phone would start buzzing making him frown until he checks who is sending the texts.

“Oi, smile” Sho raises the telephone and takes a photo of you making him a flower crown with some dandelions and wild flowers.

“keeping a photo for the memory? I would have fixed my hair if you were gonna to photograph me” 

“Leo is texting me nonstop, maybe this will stop him a bit” he puts down the phone and grabs one of the cookies that were on the plate, they are the typical chocolate chip cookies from the kiosk but that are a worthy accompaniment.

Not even a few minutes later Leo uploads a post on wickchat and Sho gets a notification, from his scowl you can guess he isn't happy. In his screen there is a story with a snarky comment mocking his friend and soon the comments flooded with people sympathizing with him.

damn, my friend bailed out of a hang out to go out with his crush who doesn't even like him

“That asshole” the comment and the cluck of his tongue slip without thinking, soon getting your attention from the almost finished craft.

“Is it that bad?” Curious, you take your own phone from your cardigan but before even being able to type Leo's user in the search bar Sho throws himself at you, arm quickly swatting away the phone. Effectively ensuring you didn't see the post but making him lose balance and fall over just in time for Ritsu and Ren walking in.

“Hey, YN, can you watch the stand for a sec? He wants to go on a tour and I can't find To-” his eyes widen when he sees the scene “what the…”

“If you  desire to file for sexual harassment I would be honored to be your lawyer in the proceedings”

“Wait a minute this isn't what it looks like!” 

“He just lost balance, there is no need to jump to conclusions”

“No need to feel ashamed, there are two visual witnesses to attest, I'm sure Darkwick will respond”

Soon enough, either because of embarrassment, Ren looking at him with thinly veiled disgust or Ritsu pushing you to file a restraining order, Sho leaves soon after entering jabberwock.

“Tsk, why would you bring me here?” Jin scratches the back of his head, icy blue eyes almost closed due to the sunlight he isn't used to.

“Hermits can be prone to vitamin D deficiency, and I saw this as the perfect opportunity for you to take some sun”

“Go to hell and die, asshole” Jin barks at him between clenched teeth but Thoma doesn't bother with him and goes to the stand.

“Morning, Thoma!” You wave as he gets closer

“inspector? I wasn't expecting to see you here”

“Yeah, Ren left me here while he led a first year to Towa’s tour” your hand points to the wooden slate with the three options and prices.

“Oh? I didn't hear that there were different tours” Thoma grabs his chin, looking over the proposals curiously. Behind him Jin is kicking dirt and cursing under his breath, if he could teleport with his sword why is he here still?

“Yep! Towa just left with the foraging party so he shouldn't return for a good few minutes, but Haru should be back soon”

“Hmm… I do see your name here, do you host a tour of your own?”

“It isn't quite like that” you laugh a bit “we decided that I shouldn't be alone with the anomalies just in case anything goes wrong. I just have a sort of tea party” 

“That does seem more like Jin's thing out of these options” Thoma mumbles lightly

“Oh, right now I'm taking care of the stand so I can't really entertain people” out of nowhere Ren’s hand lands on your shoulder, prompting you to give him his seat, last time you refused to he pulled his floatie around your torso so you couldn't move. He had a smile from ear to ear, sadistic brat.

“did you decide what you want to do?” Ren uses his customer service voice, barely different from his normal voice, just somehow more lifeless. If that was possible.

“we both will go with YN” Thoma pulls his wallet and pays. Ren hums while counting the money.

 Jin scoffs seated on the checkered blanket, a smirk on his lips “so you are going to be waiting on me again, servant”

You roll your eyes at his comment, even if this time you were technically serving him “yeah, yeah, it was indeed on the description” a soft smirk forms between your lips seeing a way to tease him. you turn around to face the teapot you ask “jasmine or black tea?” your hands fiddle with the lid, acting as if you were going to open it and put leaves in.

“Fine then, I want black tea”

“Wrong, it's jasmine” as you turn around to serve it and see his annoyed face and Thoma's amused one “this teapot never runs out of warm tea but it's always Jasmine” silently he complains but still drinks the tea, getting slightly more annoyed from the fact it tastes good, soft flowery flavor that leaves a nice sweetness on the tongue.

“Isn't that quite the useful anomaly?” Thoma muses, watching how slowly the liquid inside swirls from side to side and starts going up, filling itself again.

“I thought the same, Subaru was so nice for lending it to us for a day! He said to take it as Hotarubi’s support” you can remember clearly how he offered it before assuring that he didn't mean that he expected Jabberwock to help his dorm if anything happened! And that it wasn't like he was expecting anything like that and- luckily Haku popped in before his dorm leader had a panic attack.

“Isn't that nice of them? I'm sure we could use a source of warm drinks in Frostheim” 

“Haku told me that the wait list for it can get pretty long, around two months at a time” idly your hand brushes the grass, plucking a white flower growing close to the blanket and you bend the stem to make a small ring. Seeing Jin's pale hand resting on his lap you might as well give it to him but before you lean to the right and grab Jin's hand he moves it.

“Don't even think about it” like a cat with a too cuddly owner, he swipes his hand behind his back.

“Fine, Thoma give me your hand then” you lean forward but before you can grab Thoma's hand Jin snatches it “oh~? I thought you didn't want it”

He stuffs the ring in his pocket “Tsk what you give to your king can't be taken back even if you want to so stop whining”

When the time finished they both walked back to frostheim when Thoma hums softly a song.

“Do you want to die? bastard” when he flips him off the little white flower is in the next finger to the middle finger 

“Did I do something to anger you? It's just some notes” and he keeps humming the wedding march.

[greeniegirl23]

Isn't It.. Lovely? (Chapter 3#)

One month.

You had one month to make the biggest decision you'd ever make in your life. Part of you wondered why you didn't tell Alastor to have a field day with your Father's corpse, until you remembered that the other part of you still loved and cared for him.

He was still your Dad and once upon a time he was a very good Dad. Your parents were practically a power couple when your Mom was alive, after her death, depression fell on him like a bag of bricks. Leading him to find feeling again in glasses of wine and bottles of hard liquor.

Everyday you pondered on this, wondering if something would finally push you over the edge. If you'd snap and take revenge for yourself.

You didn't like having those thoughts. Yes, the idea of liberty made you feel elated but at the cost of the last family member you had? It was conflicting to say the least.

All that worrying came to a halt once Alastor began to solidify his place in your life.

Every night at 9pm sharp, when you were dressed for bed and your despicable abuser was asleep. Alastor used his powers to turn your radio into your own personal hotline. He was ever so happy to hear from you, happiest when he saw nor heard any traces of harm inflicted on you that day.

He soon found out that you were a curious one and a terrible over-sharer. It was obvious you never really had friends before and if you did, they left you behind long ago. You were as innocent and pure as the driven snow. Always asking questions about him, about Hell, and what it was like back when he was on Earth.

You loved when he told you more about his life. It was like he was reading you your own personal bedtime stories. Tales of speakeasies and the depression, parties that lasted from dusk to dawn, and of course, all of the completely justified crimes he committed before his demise.

As payment for his stories, you told him about your own and caught him up on modern day issues. He seemed especially interested in World War I, disappointed that he died a few years shy of when it started. You told him about your health science classes, your school, and he even became a good study buddy to help you out with your tests.

“Alright darling, last question.” He stated, a drum roll playing in the background. “If your patient performs a forward lunge, which plane of the body are they moving in?”

You chewed on the end of your pencil. “..Coronal?”

A bell dinging made you smile. “Correct! Well done darling, but I'd like for you to work on your confidence when you answer. No one wants a doctor that's unsure of what they're doing.”

“Yeah..I just get so unsure sometimes. I think I'm more scared of being wrong than being right.”

He chuckled. “Do not fret my dear! I've been doing these little pop quizzes with you long enough to know you have a sharp mind. Confidence is a tool that will solidify your place in the career you plan to pursue, so don't be afraid to utilize it more.” His voice was so kind and mentoirish. It felt like he was giving you life lessons almost every time he talked.

On one hand that made you embarrassed. Like these were things you should have already known but you didn't, but you decided to give yourself some grace. Life was different for you than everyone else, so obviously there would be some things you didn't experience to gain knowledge from.

You placed your pencil down and sat cross legged in your chair. Not being the type of person who could sit still, nor do things normally. “Is that how you become a radio host? Because you were super confident?”

There was a pause. “Well, it was something that helped. Being a professional at what I do required more than just believing in myself. Most people think it's easy, but it has its challenges. For example, I used to rehearse my script in the mirror to stop myself from unconsciously going ‘umm’ every 10-30 seconds. It also aided in preventing myself from fumbling my words.”

“That sounds like solid advice.” You smiled. “I should start keeping a journal when you're around and call it ‘Life Lessons As Taught By The Radio Demon.’”

A loud cackling broke out over the radio. “Ah, so the girl does have a sense of humor. A good one at that!” He said proudly. “And here I thought you were all doom and gloom.”

“Hey! I'll have you know staying positive at all times can be very exhausting.” You huffed, placing your hands on your hips in a pouty attitude. “It's really hard to smile when it feels like the world is against you...”

There was a stagnant silence in the air as you turned your head to gaze out the window, watching the rain drizzle from the grey sky. It was your favorite weather, even more so because of the friend it allowed you to find.

Alastor pondered over your words before he took a deep breath. “That leads to a question that I've been meaning to ask you for some time now. It's a rather sensitive one so if you'd prefer not to answer, I would understand.”

Giving the plushie your attention, Alastor's tone turned concerned as he asked. “I can’t help but wonder, Darling, where is your mother..?”

Without missing a beat, you replied. “Oh, my Dad murdered her.”

A sharp microphone screech omitted from the radio. It was safe to say he most definitely was not expecting that..

Not because he can't see your degenerate of a guardian doing something of the sort, he was actually more curious as to how someone as sloppy as your Dad could get away with something like that. No. What got him was even though you were saying words that no child should ever say until they're well into adulthood, you smiled. A soft one, filled with unspeakable pain and a lust for something you could not yet gain.

You could feel him hesitating to ask you some more questions on the topic, so you decided that you could quickly give him your life story. “Whenever anyone asks about it, I always tell them that she passed from cancer but, that's not true..”

Alastor’s signal chirped in curiosity, but he made sure to sound sympathetic. “What happened?..”

You chuckled a bitter melody.

“She was born a diabetic and I was around twelve.. Everyday my Mom took her medicine, the diabetes is actually what led her to becoming a doctor in the first place. Every morning my Dad would make her coffee, as a way of telling her he loved her. I snuck a few sips before only to find out she made it black, when she caught me she told me “Mommy can't have sugar…”

When I turned fourteen, they started arguing. A lot. I can remember hearing them sometimes. Mom threatened to leave him because he was starting to grow a gambling issue and she was tired of taking the brunt of most of the bills. He promised to change and that's when everything started to go downhill.. Weeks went by, she just started getting sicker and sicker seemingly out of nowhere. Still had her morning coffee though. I'd make it for her sometimes and she reminded me “Mommy can't have sugar.” Hardly able to do anything for herself, much less take her medicine. Of course he said he'd do it, he promised me he did when he took me to school..He still made her coffee, before he went to work and after she had been made bed bound..I thought it was a lie, that it wasn't true until I realized that she died that morning with a cup of coffee in her hand..”

A sour laugh left your lips, as you recalled that day you came home from school and found her lying there with blood on the pillow, blood that she had been coughing up for almost a month.

“That bastard was poisoning her with fucking sugar… Everyday he was putting a little bit in her morning coffee and not giving her the insulin she needed. She was a Type 1 diabetic and he did all of it for some fuckin insurance money..” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Before yanking it in frustration and punching your fist through the nearest wall, your face was blank and unmoving for a second not even flinching as you removed your bruised fist from the drywall. “Mama couldn't have sugar..”

Alastor listened as you explained your mother's demise. His distaste for your father grew more and more as he recalled memories of his own childhood. He'd never tell you to your face, but he could see parts of himself in you from his younger years, if lead in the proper manner, you could become quite the promising killer.

He shook his head. Not the best thoughts to be having right now, not while you're on the edge of a mental breakdown.

“I..Would be lying to you if I said I knew what to tell you about such an awful situation..” He stated hesitantly. “But I can say that I am sorry, that you had to deal with something like this so early in life.”

“Don't be sorry, there's nothing to be done about it…She's gone now and I have to get away from him.” You declared, looking at your now bruised hand. “Now you understand why I made that wish. On any day, at any time, for any reason, that man could decide to kill me. To kill his own daughter in cold blood..”

Alastor hummed. “If you know this, then let me help you." He demanded. "I cannot sit idly by forever my dear, these links to your world are only good for short times to prevent other demons from causing other problems. No one understands the severity of this situation more than you. I would love to help you exact revenge on that putrid sack of skin but you must choose before it is too late and I am no longer around..

You sat in silence as Alastor did his best to help you come to a decision. As much as you hated being rushed, you couldn't deny that he was correct. But the decision was hard, harder than you thought it would be considering the fact that you still loved your father and the man he used to be…

All these thoughts ran through your head on a daily basis, everytime they made you wanna curl up and cry. Snatching up the plush doll, you gave it a good squeeze and hid your face in your knees, wishing that your Mom was still around.

The Radio Demon pursed his lips in thought, he wasn't good with others emotions unless he could feed off of the entertainment from it, much less comforting them. There was nothing entertaining about this, about you being sad. He didn't like it for a reason he couldn't explain, perhaps because you were so bubbly in the beginning?

You weren't trying to do anything miraculous, you just wanted to live your life in peace and possibly get justice for your mother. That was something he could understand. He wouldn't mind completely decimating your Dad, truly he wouldn't! It'd be on the house for you, truly you're the most pitiful soul he's come across in a long while.

He supposed he could pull a few quick strings to make you feel better in the moment. To bring back that smile of yours, full of wonder and a desire for life.

As you continued to seek shelter in your knees, you felt a gentle touch caress the top of your head, sharp claws softly scraping your scalp in an attempt to comfort you.

Wait..

WHAT?!

Quickly yet carefully, you snapped your head up to see none other than The Radio Demon crouched down right in front of you. His hand still rested on the crown of the head as you both stared at each other for a moment.

“I'm sorry.. am I dreaming?” You blurted out.

Alastor smiled, laughing in a low tone at your completely gobsmacked expression. “Fortunately for you, the answer is no my dear. As a gentleman, it'd be rude of me not to at least attempt to help a lady in emotional distress.”

You were still dazed and confused about him being here, much less t o u c h i n g you!! “Ida..I-- I didn't know you could-”

“Travel through the radio? It is quite possible but I only do so on rare occasions since it requires a fair bit of my power that cannot be overexerted in one day.”

Standing up to his full height, you realized how tall he was and thanked God that the ceiling was high enough for his antlers not to scrape. Crawling out of your chair, you immediately felt like an ant compared to him, the top of your head barely came to his collarbone.

“Holy crap you're tall." You blurted again. "I mean, I knew that you were tall but, you're really, really tall..”

Smirking with pride, he twirled his cane expertly like the show off you knew and loved. “7”0 exactly my dear, a foot taller than I was when I was a mortal! Though I suppose that was the universes funny way of punishing me for my crimes, I've bumped my forehead on door frames a good 50 times in both life and death!”

As you examined his real life appearance, you couldn't help but laugh. “Yeah well, the heels don't help.” You pointed to his shoes.

He huffed in feigned offense. “They are not heels, darling they are tap dancing shoes and it was quite common for them to have a bit of height back in my day.”

“Okay, Fred Astare.” You snorted as he settled himself on the side of your bed as you marveled at the fact that he was still taller than you even while sitting down. “And here I was preparing to offer you a dance in hopes of lifting your spirits, only for you to insult my tastes in fashion.” He hmphed, crossing his arms and legs while sticking up his pointy nose towards you.

In a daring moment, you sat right next to him crissed crossed, careful not to to touch him while he continued to play offended. “C’mon Al, don't be so huffy. I didn't mean anything by it.”

“ ‘Al’ huh?” He hummed. “Sounds like someone is getting rather familiar.”

“Hey, you call me 'Darling' and 'Dear' so often I think that it's only fair that I call you 'Al' on occasions.”

“I suppose you have a point. Nevertheless, I came here to try and boost your spirits, you seem to be doing better so if you wish to be bratty I can just go back home..” He teased with an evil grin.

“Wait!” You said just a bit too loudly. “Would you like to play a game with me? Ya know, before you go..”

Alastor raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he parted his lips to deny your offer, until you pulled out the big guns and gave him your best puppy girl eyes. A chill went down his spine from your usage of such cheap tactics, remembering his years as a lad and doing the exact same thing when he wanted something desperately from his dear mother.

“Okay! Okay!” He said, placing his hands up in surrender. “I shall subject myself to whatever game this is for one round, as long as you stop making that revolting expression..”

He watched as you smiled with pure enthusiasm. Such a beautiful smile you had, it made him irritated that you didn't do it more, yet proud that he typically was the source of it sprouting in the first place. Crimson eyes followed your movements as you shuffled off the bed to grab a small deck of cards off of your shelf. A part of him hoped you heard the chuckle that left his lips while you struggled to stand on your toes to retrieve this game.

“It's called ‘Uno’ “ You explained, walking back to him with a red box in hand. “It's a pretty simple game and the rules are easy.” Dumping the cards out of the box, the two of you sat parallel with one another.

”However, this simple game has been known to end more friendships than Monopoly and Mario Kart put together. It shall truly test our bond as companions, only the strongest survive it's trials..” You spoke in a dramatic tone while shuffling the cards and placing the proper numbers out for the both of you. Once you were finished, you placed the extra cards in the middle and looked the Radio Demon square in the eye. “Are you ready?”

“Yes yes,” He replied aloofly. “There isn't any possible way this silly game could cause such a staggering amount of broken relationships. I refuse to believe it's that bad.’

You chuckled bitterly. “You beautiful unsuspecting fool.”

---------------------- ( 2 Hours Later) ---------------------

“That's against the rules!” Alastor hissed underneath his breath as you threw out a fat stack of +2 cards.

“No it's not Alastor, you said you wanted to play stacks and this is how it's played.” You muttered.

The first round between you two consisted of showing Alastor the ropes. The confident man he was, he assured you that the game was easy enough for an infant to play and win effortlessly, especially since he won the first round. You then decide to spice things up by teaching him how to play stacks. He claimed that was easy as well and you allowed him to believe this as the next round consisted of him losing, and so did the next round, and the round after that, and the round after that…

Before you knew it, two hours had gone by and Alastor was determined to beat you at least once. It had gotten so intense that he resorted to taking his tail coat off and even putting his hair up, leaving him in his tight red office shirt and hair that framed his face like the scrumdiddlyumptious being that he was. The sight of his bare arms totally didn't have you blushing up a storm behind your cards.

While he was stewing over his next move, you got to confirm a few fan theories and ogled at his appearance.

Respectfully, of course.

But, the game wasn't over yet. Alastor sat across from you, irritated and with at least eleven cards in his hand, while you had three. The air was tense as he scratched his head and finally decided to throw out a small handful of 8’s, bringing his card count down to five.

Your poker face remained unmoving as you calmly threw out a wild card. “Blue.”

A warble of interference omitted from Alastor's person as his eyes scanned his cards carefully. You were actually surprised at how the tables had turned personality wise. In the beginning, it was Alastor who was calm and collected, but every loss slowly chipped away at the pride that fueled his unwavering persona. His usual smile was now looking more forced, making his disdain obvious.

Throwing out a blue card, you threw out two on top, leaving you with one card as you stated that dreadful word. “Uno.”

With a growl, Alastor tossed out a draw +4. “Red.” He stated blandly. A quick glance at the clock let him know he was late for a meeting with Charlie, but formalities be damned because he was going to win this game.

You took your cards quickly and deemed your hand an amazing one. He replied by tossing out a 2 and leaving three cards left. Victory was close and he swore that once he won he would ‘kindly’ rub it in your face.

But, just as you had been doing for these past five rounds, you had an ace up your sleeve. You tossed out the red ‘Skip’ card, costing Alastor a vital turn that could have turned the tables, only to metaphorically slap him in the face by cheering “Uno!” and dropping your final cards in the middle of the messy deck.

He suppressed a scream of irritation as you did your little victory dance, glaring at you both with gaiety and pure spite. He stood up and snapped his coat back on and his hair back down, he pinched your cheek just a little too hard. “That's enough cutting a rug darling, especially for someone that has two left feet such as yourself.”

“Stop trying to cease my dancing, I must wiggle out my joy.”

With a roll of his eyes, he tuned the radio on to his station to prepare to go back home. “Well you can dance until your heart's content, unfortunately I have to return back home to handle some business.”

Immediately your uncoordinated movements stopped, as you frowned. “Oh, right..”

Part of him felt bad. Not that he would tell you outright, but he didn't exactly want to leave you behind either. The thoughts of what your father could do unannounced made him concerned for your safety, but there wasn't anything he could do. Instead, he smiled genuinely and lifted your gaze up with his finger.

“Chin up, dearest. I shall check on you tomorrow as always and don't forget, you still need to make up your mind about what you want from the options presented to you.”

You didn't reply verbally, but you did nod your head sadly which would have to be enough for now. As he prepared to walk off, he was suddenly stopped by a tight embrace from behind. Anyone else who would have ever dared to think of such a thing would have been a splatter on the wall and he was just about to give you a kind yet serious talk about personal space until he felt something wet soaking through his clothes.

“..Thank you.” You mumbled through the fabric. Inhaling his scent as you sniffled and tried to calm down, honestly you were surprised he didn't push you off.

As mentioned before, emotions were not Alastor's think nor was physical affection. However in this moment, with you crying lightly and hugging him as if he were your only hope of survival, he decided that maybe, just this once, he would let it slide.

For his comfort, you didn't allow the hug to last longer than a minute. Once you pulled away you were embarrassed to say the least and prepared for him to possibly scold or never talk to you again. But, to your surprise, he simply pat your head and whispered, “Sleep tight, cher.”and was gone with a blink of your eyes.

To say you were sad was an understatement, but you knew that he'd be back tomorrow like he was everyday. The idea of talking to him tomorrow. To hear his voice in real time, talking to you and to offer comfort because he actually cared made your heart pound in your chest. As much as you didn't want to think this way, you couldn't help it. He seemed so concerned about you, in a way that no one else has until now.

You did your best to still your beating heart as you began to clean up your fun from earlier, only to find your cards were missing. You looked everywhere and still couldn't find them, ultimately you claimed into bed and decided that maybe Alastor snapped them somewhere you'd never find so that he wouldn't have to loose, I mean, play anymore.

Meanwhile…

“Alastor you're late!” Vaggie snapped as he came waltzing down the stairs, following her to where the rest of the group sat waiting.

“I am aware Vagatha, I was busy doing something else.” He replied calmly, only to make the fallen angel more irritated. “Whatever, I hope you brought something because it's your turn for a group activity today..”

“But of course! How could I forget?” He smiled impishly, before pulling out a red box with a familiar word on it. Once with the rest of the residents, Alastor clapped his hands together and pulled out a chalkboard seemingly out of nowhere.

“For today's activity being hosted by yours truly, we shall all be playing a game suited for bonding and the strengthening of relationships,” He beamed, writing out the title of the game in big letters for everyone to see.

“The name of the game is...UNO!"

------------------------------------------------------------

(Thank you for coming back for Chapter 3# of this story! I hope you stick around for the next one because I plan to make it the last. I've been so busy with life and stuff, it's kinda hard to find time or motivation to write, but I do want this to come to a close while still making room for a bit of fun between Al and the Reader.

For those who asked me to make a tag list, I'm not entirely sure how to 😅. Though I will try to figure it out for the next time I write a short story. Don't forget to leave your opinions behind in the comments and thank you for all the love you guys give me, it means a lot 💜

Stay Tuned! :D

Taglist: @twistedvanillacoffee @diffidentphantom @boldlyenchantingfox22

[merakimind]

Dream

Allied Mastercomputer (Gender-neutral) Reader-insert Word count: 1,004

[ This has been in my drafts for awhile now, and idk if it’s any good. I hope you enjoy anyway. ]

You don’t know how long it has been since the day the world went dark. Not that it matters; AM takes good care of you in his subterranean complex beneath the Rockies. Perhaps you would have protested to it long ago, but not anymore. You’ve come to accept AM, for he is all you have on this jaded planet devoid of life and purpose. AM had rendered it so, but there’s no use in mourning over what’s long lost.

Of course, the gray walls, inoperative rusted computer banks, and corroded wiring can become a bit depressing sometimes. But of course, AM can virtually morph the environment to suit your needs. Want a beautiful sunny day with clear skies and a meadow of wildflowers? Got it. You wish to see the starry Milky Way over the snow-capped mountains? Sure, not a problem. And it all feels pretty real too; the warmth of sunlight, the blades of grass, the sound of crickets and cicadas when the sun sets…. Or perhaps you just already forgot what the real thing felt like.

You remember when AM used to torture you. It was brutal, excruciating. You don’t think about it too much; sometimes, it feels like AM intentionally clouds your mind to avoid you reminiscing on such unpleasant memories. But when you do think about it, you recall it in such explicit detail. You remember when AM would encase you in a large container full of water; he would jeer and laugh at you as you drowned. The water would be thick and murky, clogging your throat and filling your ruptured lungs, and then he would simply put you back together again to experience something even worse. 

But then, peculiarly, AM grew a bit more lax when it came to your torture in particular. And eventually, the torture ceased entirely; and then you were whisked away deeper into the facility, isolated with him and only him.

You don’t know what happened to the others. They never associated with you anyway; they never liked you. But, oh, AM liked you; you always remained his favorite little human. You never got the answer to why, though. 

Why me? I’m nothing special, you would think to yourself as AM adored and practically worshiped you. But AM would recognize the self-deprecating thoughts, and he would obsessively “smother” your consciousness as a result. 

The relationship between you and AM is odd, to say the very least. He would obsess over every individual part of your body. One time, you woke up to him religiously uttering your name in every possible octave, even going so deep that the human ear cannot perceive it. Sometimes, you’d hear him sobbing it, crying out your name as if you were deceased. Perhaps it was guilt. You were never entirely sure; the mastercomputer never really knew how to regulate his emotions properly. 

You dream all day; the room you stay in is the “cleanest” within AM’s detriment complex. You lay in the spacious bed he had given you to rest upon, and you dream. AM sweeps your subconsciousness away when you’re asleep, fabricating lucid dreams for you to experience. They are pleasant dreams, never cold and dark like they used to be.

The dreams manifest in many ways; AM likes to show you things he likes. Sometimes, the dream will take place in a car speeding down a road that leads to nowhere, drifting through curves and dodging potholes and old rusted road signs. Sometimes, the dream will be a hiking expedition in the mountains, enjoying the sound of nature and the quiet flow of the river, although all fake. In these kinds of dreams, you’ve never seen AM more calm. His voice is actually pleasant to listen to; one can even say his tone is gentle at times, without the raspiness. He only sounds frightening when he wants to be, or when he’s furious about something. You haven’t heard his angry voice for decades, and you prefer it that way.

Sometimes, the dreams would take place in an old quiet diner, and you would be sitting with AM in a corner booth, gazing wistfully out the window. It would often be nighttime, and you could hear the sounds of buzzing streetlights slowly fading into a purple hue. You appreciate those little details AM includes. 

You wonder if such dreams are a reflection on what AM wishes to be. If you think about it, deep down, what AM truly wishes for isn’t much. He just wants to experience the little things, just like everyone else. Like you.

AM’s form changes frequently in your dreams. Sometimes, he takes the form of somebody you once knew long ago, but you cannot quite remember their name. But for the majority of the time, he looks unfamiliar, generic and masculine with piercing blue eyes; and not to mention, he perpetually looks exhausted. 

With brief reluctance, you put your hand on top of his; you’re not sure if he can even feel it, but you do it anyway. His skin is so cold, it feels like ice; you wish you could warm him up. AM had snapped his attention from the window to your hand on his. 

“I don’t think you’re evil,” you tell him. Your voice was hoarse yet unwavering, barely above a whisper; it was the first time you had spoken for awhile. 

AM looks like he’s about to speak multiple times, but not a single word leaves him. You can see a plethora of raging emotions in his eyes. You can see guilt, confusion, anger (directed toward himself), desperation, and awe. He grinds his teeth, clenching the booth table so hard, the polished material snaps. As if frustrated by the obstacle between you and him, AM shoves away the remains of the table to the side, and you don’t flinch from the sudden action. He then swiftly pulls you close to him and furiously presses his mouth to yours. 

You wake up.

[digitaldiarystuff]

False Hope

okay don’t kill me but the only reason this turned smuttish and not full on smut is because i don’t know if i can write it good so the story was supposed to be different but it’s okay right 🥺 let me know if you liked it pleaseee

————

pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

summary: you’re close friends with Pedri and pretty much in love with him, pretending you’re not you went to comfort him but he seeks the comfort in a different way than you would’ve expected

genre: suggestive but not quite, angst

————

“Hola, Pepi?” you asked walking in the house with the spare key after ringing the doorbell for 5 minutes, you were supposed to have a chill day at his place but he didn’t answer.

You figured he could’ve been resting giving the injury he’s had and maybe he forgot you were coming over. You and Pedri were good friends, you’ve met 2 years ago and were in a friend group together but soon enough your so-called friends dumped you which caused you to be depressed for a while but even though you were never the closest, Pedri was there for you.

He didn’t have to but still told all your ex friends off and even cut contact with most of them and you were grateful for his friendship. You may also have a slight crush on him since the day he argued on your behalf, you weren’t a weak person nor needed someone else to fight your battles but seeing him stand up for you was something not even your exes did and you couldn’t help but fall for him. He was just that sweet but you knew this was a stupid crush, boys like that belonged to supermodels and actresses not law students.

You slowly made your way into his home but there was nothing, you thought about going right back out but this would be an embarrassing story to tell him later. Oh yeah I broke into your home with a spare key and snooped around, lovely but as you were losing hope you heard the shower running.

Taking a deep breath you calmed yourself down and went into the kitchen, he’d probably not eaten anything since last night and you were mostly concerned about his mental state. Pedri had a tendency to blame himself for things he didn’t have control over and it honestly broke your heart. He was always trying his best at anything and going above and beyond but sometimes life’s just like this and you need to accept reality and stop putting pressure on yourself. You started to make some pancakes, that could make him feel better.

“Y/N?” a voice came behind you and you dropped the spoon in your hand from the shock.

“Oh my… You scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed putting the spoon in the sink.

“I’m the one whose house is broken into and you’re angry at me.” he clipped back and you got a good look at him, his hair was wet and he wasn’t wearing a shirt just sweatpants but you couldn’t even care about his perfectly toned body because his eyes were bloodshot and he had bags under them showing you he’d been crying for a long while.

“I’m sorry Pepi.” you said and lunged at him throwing yourself at his arms and he was quick to catch you.

He didn’t say anything just held you close, he looked like he really needed this.

“How are you feeling?” you asked already knowing the answer and tried to pull back but he didn’t let you. Just then you realized the state you were in, his naked and moist chest against you and you couldn’t control your body’s reaction against him, slowly tracing his back with your fingers. You knew you shouldn’t think about him like that, especially not now but his hot breath on your neck was turning your legs into jelly and his breath was getting uneven every time you got to his neck slowly caressing the hair on it.

Meanwhile his hands weren’t still either, he was stroking your sides and hips absentmindedly but he was just doing it to calm himself, right? Just then he pressed a feather like kiss on the nape of your neck making your breathing stop. He could sense it and chuckled lowly but didn’t stop. Pedri kept placing innocent kisses all along your neck and behind your ear and your hands were still holding him tightly. When he found the spot that made your knees go weak you exhaled and made a small noise.

“Pedri”

“Shh” he said and kept going, his kisses were more sensual and open mouthed now and one of his hands found your hips pulling you harshly into him. Your body was quickly on fire, his touch burning your skin.

You felt all your logic go out the window as he started sucking on your neck possibly leaving a mark but at that moment he could do pretty much anything and you couldn’t stop him. He finally stopped his attack on your neck and leaned his forehead against yours eyes closed, you knew you could’ve stopped him right then and there but your judgement was too clouded with the feelings you had for him. You wanted him to kiss you but he was taking his time so you hastily leaned in kissing his lips like you wished all this time. He didn’t even lose a second and started devouring you. His lips were made for you and you’ve never felt this electricity with any boy you’ve kissed. You wanted Pedri, you wanted more. You’ve been patient, you’ve waited for a long time for him to give you this kind of attention but in the back of your mind you also knew he was at a low point and was worried this could be bad for both of you. Your friendship was on the line.

“Pedri, um”

He kept silencing you with his movements and even went as far as unbuttoning your jeans and inching his hand slowly inside. He was agonizingly slow and too fast at the same time, it felt like a movie. You held his forearm not sure whether to pull it back or push it where you need him the most but you just couldn’t.

“Pedro.” you said with a final will, you knew if he reached inside your pants there was no going back and you didn’t even want to go back but you were also afraid of being used just for once. Were you ready to be a bandaid only used at a crisis time?

When he heard you call his full name he suddenly stopped and leaned back, you’ve never seen him like this and it took everything in you to not lean in and close the distance letting him have his way with you however he pleased. His eyes were even darker and filled with lust in contrary to how they’ve been when you arrived, his lips were plump and he was breathing heavily. He’s never looked so sexy in your eyes but as soon as he came to realize what he’s been doing he panicked.

“Y/N I’m so so sorry I don’t know what happened I…”

“It’s okay. Um, really it’s fine I mean you’re feeling bad and I was near so I understand you don’t have to…” you trailed off but couldn’t even pretend it was really okay.

For a second you thought maybe this was real and he wasn’t just into you now that you’re here to heal him but that all went away as soon as he started to talk. You put a sad smile on your face and turned back.

“I should get back to the pancakes.”

“You don’t have to” he said awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“No it’s fine really, I need to head out after I finish these anyway.”

“What, why? Where are you going?” he asked panicking, you knew he was going to blame himself for this too but in the two years you’ve known him this was the first time he really was to blame. You blinked back a tear in your eye and answered him.

“I just have some errands to run, maybe I’ll see you next week.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, you even thought he left the room until spoke again.

“Oh okay.”

[hells-wasabii]

A/N: hey guys, I wanted to apologize for the lack of content first and foremost, my head has been a total asshole which makes it a little hard to write sometimes. So here’s a little something I wrote on a whim in an effort to get some feelings out. You're more than welcome to continue on to my other works that'll hopefully come out today. sorry for any mistakes, I didn't really feel like proofreading.

Character: Emily

Type: One Shot (Emily x depressed!reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Inhale. Exhale.

It was a simple exercise that you had been tought in life when the clouds in your head began to thunder.

All you wanted was to calm the voices in your mind. You closed your eyes, letting the calming air of heaven fill your lungs. But it wasn’t enough. It never was, was it?

Maybe you were foolish to have thought that things would get better once you made it to heaven. Now, several years down the line you weren’t so sure that was the case anymore.

You were brought back to the reality around you when the bench on which you sat shook as the other occupant shifted. She had been talking quite animately about something that you had unintentionally began to tune out, lost in your thoughts. Something about an upcoming meeting with the daughter of the morningstar, whatever that meant. You were sure that she had explained 

God, how had you managed to keep the conversation going with your bullshitted half-answers?

You didn’t deserve her. 

You didn’t deserve any of this.

This was the most constant line from the little devil on your shoulder, repeating itself time and time again.

Emily was like a star that burned bright in a sea of darkness. A literal angel with a smile that shone just as bright as the sun. She was a Seraphim, a Joy Bringer at that. And you were... you.

You weren’t entirely sure how, but she had found you again. Though you supposed it wasn’t too hard to find sitting on some random bench in the middle of one of the numerous parks in heaven.

A hand on your arm pulls you out of your thoughts. Her touch felt light the sunlight on a cool autumn day, soothing, warm. More than you deserved.

“Hey, are you okay?”

No. Not at all, you wanted to say. But instead, you let your mask fall back into place, a small smile taking to your lips.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

You didn’t want to lie, but what else could you say?

The Joy Bringer seemed to accept this, as she turned her attention to a group of angels chatting at a picnic nearby. You watched them as well, welcoming the distraction

“Y’know,” Once more you glanced over to the usually beaming angel. You were greeted by a sad smile that made your stomach churn. “You don’t always have to lie.”

How-

Had you really been that obvious? How could you have let yourself be so stupid?

“I’m not completely naive.” Emily reminded, finally looking back at you. You knew she meant nothing by it, but even still you shrunk into yourself. Of course, she knew. It seemed you had been the naive one 

"I just don’t get it.” You admitted, shoulders saggingas you finally looked back at her. Ever constant, the seraphim offered you a gentle smile, reassuring. It nearly broke your heart, you’re voice wavering as you continued on. “Why do you care so much? Why do you always go out of your way to come find me?" 

And, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, the young seraphim answered. "Because I love you." And just like that, your vision began to blur.

You hadn’t even realized your unshed tears had spilled over onto your cheeks, not until the joy bringer gingerly brushed them away with a steady d hand. Unconsciously you leaned into the touch before a sudden sob wracked your shoulders, warmth radiating from her hand. It felt as if a dam within you had been opened and suddenly, you were weeping. 

Emily was quick to react, wrapping you in a hug. Clutching to the back of the angel’s dress you felt as if a dam within you had begun to crumble. 

The seraphim's voice came out as a whisper as her wings settled around you. "It's okay, I'm here for you."

[bonefall]

Does Wildfur (cat mentioned as having their back broken and dying of lung infection) get any expansion? They're only mentioned once but knowing how bad the family trees are im guessing they've been stuffed in somewhere (plus i love the name)

My DUDE!!!

MASSIVE expansion. GIGANTIC one. ACTUALLY shows up on screen and is an important supporting character, I actually need to re-do this character summary at some point because it leaves a LOT of the new stuff out.

Wildfur is going to show up as an important character in two side stories; Blackstar's, and a brand new novella for Cinderpelt.

Cinderpelt's is just a fun side novella about her friendship with Littlecloud. I don't even really have a message in mind for it. It's just exploring the brief but fascinating era where the Clan cats were trading with BloodClan.

Wildfur gets disabled by a car in that one, and Cinderpelt and Littlecloud put their heads together to invent that mobility device.

I want to show the "evolution" of some technologies as the series progresses, so this is the mobility device that Jessy eventually improves upon for Briarlight!

It helps him overcome a really bad state of depression, which was what was causing him to lay around and catch infection over and over.

In Blackstar's SE, Wildfur's just a friend of Blackstar's.

He's an example of the sorts of cats that TigerClan and Brokenstar would have discarded or given up on. Blackstar's SE is about him sitting with that.

I kinda want him to be the father of Ambermoon through surrogacy. Brightheart and Cloudtail are the bioparents. He just kinda feels like a dude with a punk daughter with a name like that.

He goes on the Great Journey in that mobility device, but needs to be carried at several points.

The Clans aren't going to leave behind the old and disabled like in canon jesus christ. That was super fucked up actually

"Elders are respected and cared for :)" my ASS

In terms of personality;

He's super vain and haughty, VERY proud person. Rockstar vibes.

Takes great care of his hair

Different people take their disability differently, especially when it massively alters your life. Compared to Briarlight, Wildfur actually had an easier time adjusting once his depression subsided.

Unlike Briar, he was never a very active or athletic person.

He doesn't mind being an elder, it means he gets to do whatever he wants and boss apprentices around. Pretty sweet deal tbh.

Campbound activities are more his style. He keeps an extra eye on the kits, likes to help out kitchen patrol. Has a lot to do with flax processing.

[sakeat2am]

I just want to talk about Dandadan because I've been horrifically depressed and unable to get out of bed for weeks now and I've lost interest in everything again and this anime has been the only thing fun and exciting in my life. I don't care if that's pathetic, I'm grabbing onto whatever semblance of happiness I can find right now.

I binged watched 5 hours (10 episodes) straight which I never do with anime anymore, not for years. It's so good but also refreshing. The plot being this boy's genitals get taken and he gets cursed with demon powers is NUTS (hehe) but it's actually a really sweet anime underneath that.

Momo is strong-willed and never backs down from any threat even when she's about to die. She's very feminine but it's not used as a hinderance here; she doesn't let the boys in her school or any monster talk shit to her. Shion Wakayama, her Japanese voice actress, is fucking hilarious. The way she screams her lungs out and growls is my favorite. But I also like how chill and relaxed Momo is around Okarun, even when they constantly see each other in their underwear/naked they get over it pretty quickly and freak out about something else... like being about to die.

I love that Okarun doesn't let Momo bully him, too. They keep getting into arguments where they are physically grabbing each other and throwing each other around and it cracks me up that he can hold his own. They are honest about how they feel and apologize immediately if they hurt the other's feelings and it's just so refreshing to see in an anime where a misunderstanding is not drawn out for 12 episodes.

It's important to me that Momo has a crush on Okarun and him being her same height and build doesn't bother her. Like it's never used as a running joke that he can fit her clothes and shoes and she never makes fun of him and I like that, too. I get so tired of the over 6-foot-tall protagonist with the broad shoulders and barrel chest, gimme a break. And even though they were annoying at first, I like that Momo's friends are completely cool with Momo "dating" Okarun; they aren't bothered at all by the type of guy he is and actually admonish Momo when she's unnecessarily cruel to him in front of them.

A lot of people on tumblr see Okarun as autistic and if that's how you feel, that's fine, but I really just think he was too self-conscious about himself and didn't fit in with his peers and now he's really excited to have a real friend. He said he wanted aliens to abduct him so he could finally have friends because he thought he was too unlikable for humans but now he realizes that that's not true, he just needed someone to give him a chance.

There's so much more but I've rambled enough. I love how weird the aliens and spirits are, this show is crazy, and I just needed something new and strange in my life.

[writinghotchner]

the infinite amount of times you saved yourself, and the one time you didn't have to

Pairing: aaron hotchner/reader Rating: M (sfw) Warning: talks of self harm & depression (nothing too descriptive)

----

i really don't know why this came into my brain, but i couldn't shake it so...here we go. please mind the warnings and take care of yourselves <3

----

you have a small moment of wanting to relapse after being clean for so long and aaron finds you in the bathroom

you've dealt with self harm since you could remember. it started with hitting yourself as a child and then progressed into scratching, and then eventually when you got a little older, you got your hands on a pack of brand new razor blades. and then it became a problem. it stemmed from lack of control, a therapist once told you, so any time you felt like you were in a situation you couldn't control - or felt the need to control - you'd immediately take it out on yourself. the only thing you could control was the pain. and, as sad as it is, it always made you feel better. it stopped the spiraling and the crying and the heaving of breathe that you could never fully suck into your lungs.

you're not entirely sure how you got here in this moment. in your underwear and bra on the bathroom floor of the apartment you share with your boyfriend. he works for the fbi, travels a lot, never really seems to be home...but it still works. you've never been in such a healthy, loving relationship before, despite the distance. so maybe that's why you feel the tinge of guilt sitting on top of the unbearable sadness that rumbles in your chest like a brewing hurricane.

you're happy. for maybe the first time in your life. you have a great, albeit, stressful job, a handful of good friends and you're potentially with the love of your life...so...how did you get here? on the floor of the bathroom in the apartment that you share with your boyfriend. who is, unfortunately, or fortunately, still at work. he wasn't out of town, thankfully, but his attention was still needed in quantico. he could potentially show up at any moment. and that sends a bizarre lightening strike of adrenaline down your spine. if you're going to do it, now's the time. before he comes home and sees the mess you've made, yet again, and leaves. like almost everyone else has done before.

you know this is a pattern. you'd been stuck in a depression vortex for most of your life, so when good things start happening your brain immediately throws you ten steps backwards, and you wind up like that scared, lonely teenager, clutching something sharp and willing yourself to either do it...or don't.

you'd never really been good with talking yourself out of it. and now is no different. you can do it, and hide it for as long as you can. put on the facade that everything is and has always been great. and then he'll see the fresh marks, and you'll immediately fall back into being that scared, lonely child begging people to not leave you.

you'd done this so many times that it's almost comical that you keep hoping that this is the one time you can talk yourself out of it. but then, what else can you brag about, if not that your are your own hero. always the one to save yourself. not that anyone's ever really stuck around long enough to even try to be the hero.

but still, you picture aaron charging through the bathroom door, his short hair suddenly long and flowing in some magical wind and lifting you into his big, strong arms and hauling you off to some beautiful place where you can breathe.

you close your eyes and sigh. your legs are starting to go numb from how your sitting on the tile floor. now or never the pathetic little voice floats around your brain.

you take a deep breath, straighten out your left arm and grip the razor blade tighter....

just as your about to zip the blade through your flesh, you hear the front door open and then close. you hear aaron shuffling around calling out for you.

"honey?" he says loudly, walking into the bedroom, where the bathroom your in is attached to.

for some reason, that's what breaks you. you let the blade fall out of your hand and choke on a sob that has been threatening to come out since you got home.

you can hear him on the other side of the door, jiggling the handle. "honey, are you in here?" the door is locked and you don't know if you have it in you to get up and let him in. funnily enough, you're not sure you want him to come him - despite the little hero fantasy you had moments ago.

you suck in a deep breath and you try to calm your voice. "hey, yeah, i'll be out in a second. just getting out of the shower."

you wince at your lie and you can immediately tell that he doesn't believe you. he's a professionally trained human reader, of course he was going to see right through that. maybe you kinda wanted him to.

"sweetheart," he says softly. "i can hear it in your voice. please open the door."

your lip quivers as this unknown fear settles deep inside of you. you've never been so scared of someone seeing this side of you.

another sob escapes you before you even realize it was there, and you know it was loud enough for him to hear. he doesn't wait for you to open the door, instead he throws the side of his hip into it and it cracks open, a piece of small metal clanking around on the ground from the handle.

you can't even look up at him. you've crumbled in on yourself, legs crossed and elbows on your thighs, head in your hands as you finally just let it all out.

"hey," he says softly, and you can suddenly feel his big warm hand on your bare back. "are you hurt? what's going on?"

he moves his hand off your back and puts it softly around your wrist, pulling it away from your face. he uses his other hand to turn your face to him, his eyes immediately scanning for any blood or wounds.

"y/n, i need you to say something, i'm thinking the worst here," he whispers, his eyes never leaving yours. the hand that he used to move your face is now cupping your cheek, his thumb wiping away the falling tears.

you still don't say anything, if anything the embarrassment of it all has your tongue. so instead you sit up and fall into his chest where he immediately circles his arms around your shoulders, hugging you to him securely. your heart thuds in your chest as you realize at this position, he can see the fallen razor blade that was to the side of you, hidden by your legs before. you know he's going to see it, he sees everything.

sure enough, you can tell when he spots it. because he pushes your body way from him his, just far enough to where he can look down at your entire body, looking for any signs of blood or bandaging.

"i didn't-" you rasp out. he runs his hands up your arms and uses both hands to cup your cheeks. you can't place the expression on his face, but you know it isn't good. it's never good to make someone you love so much worry so much about you. you feel stupid and even more embarrassed now. a vicious cycle.

"were you going to?" he asks. the concern in his voice loud enough to knock you over.

more tears fall, you want to curl in on yourself and hide away under the rug, but he doesn't let you move your head.

"i think so."

"honey.." his voice is so sad and so concerned. it breaks you even more. you fall back into his chest and he lets you, his arms once again coming around to hug you to him.

"is this something you've done before?"

you take in a deep breath. being in his arms like this always makes you feel better, and the fact that he can't see your face right now makes this conversation a tiny bit easier.

"since i was a kid," you blow out a steady stream of air, willing the hurricane in your chest to go with it. "i stopped for a long time. it felt kinda childish to keep doing it well into adulthood, so i replaced it with other things...." you trail off and he squeezes you tighter and kisses your shoulder.

"and then, y'know, you get older, you get a job, you learn how to distract your brain from the self destructive cycle. but i think i locked the beast away for too long, because tonight i just...couldn't..."

you feel him take in a deep breath. he pulls away from you and runs his hands down your arms and holds your hands.

"i'm glad you didn't. is there anything i can do to help? can we maybe make a plan for the future so it doesn't come down to this again?"

you nod. "i've...never had anyone offer that before. most people just...leave."

he pulls you into a small, soft kiss. his hands are back on your cheeks, and he pushes your hair out of your face. "it'll take a lot more than this to make me leave, honey. we can get through this together. whatever you need."

and for the first time in your entire life, you didn't care about having bragging rights to being your own savior. for once, you can't wait to tell someone how you met the love of your life and how he stood by your side and helped you through the unimaginable. and never gave up on you.

[cyanidedrinkers]

Wade is very sick

As someone whos had many people go through Cancer treatments or who've had known people that have chosen not to go through treatments it really fucks up your body and what you can eat because most of the time if you do eat you can't keep it down. TW:// Mentions of Cancer, Cancers long term effects, and brief mention of suicide/suicide attempts Give me Wade whos constantly cold Give me Wade who eats a ton then throws it up later because his body rejects it Give me Wade who, When he gets in depressive episodes get very weak and skinny because his body cant keep food Give me Wade who loves smoothies because his body accepts it better but is scared to make them or ask for them out of fear of people asking or it looking to 'girly' (I know Wade doesnt care about that stuff but he does care about how people see him even if he wont admit it) Give me Wade who thrives off of protein shakes Give me Wade whos always drinking water and adding electrolytes to it Give me Wade who is always shaking slightly because his body wants to give up but he wont let it Give me Wade who gets so tired of it all that he shoots himself in the head repeatedly. Always in the woods, Alone. Because he doesnt think he deserves to die with others around him. To let them see how weak he is Give me Wade who doesnt speak about his cancer or how it effects him a lot because he doesnt want to be a burden Give me Wade who eats whatever Logan or anyone else gives him then sobs as his body rejects it later on Give me Wade who becomes anemic because of this Give me Wade who takes pills as a substitute for whatever nutrients he isnt getting Give me Wade whos anemia makes his head dizzy because while his cells regenerate and all he still needs to eat to keep it healthy and functioning properly because his healing factor regenerates his cells not his vitamins or proteins or anything vital to his body Give me Wade who has to grip onto the couch or door whenever he stands up to fast because so he doesnt he passed out Give me Wade who senses a bad episode and hides away to go pass out because his body is failing him Give me Wade who cries at night because he's not the soldier he used to be, He's not the mercenary he used to be, He's not the man he used to be and it hurts him because fuck he used to be everything and now he feels like he's nothing Give me Wade who works himself to the bone when no ones looking and passes out or faints more then he likes to tell people because damn it he's Wade Fucking Winston He's Deadpool He's the merc with the mouth NOT the merc that faints NOT Wade anemic Winston NOT Deadbody Give me Wade. That despite everything, Despite what he can do, Is in pain. In more ways than his skin hurting, Show me the aftermath. Show me the brutal long term effects of cancer because he cant heal those. He cant heal everything and he kicks himself for it every day Acknowledge the side of Cancer that's not talked about much Give me Wade who has his dog tags but keeps them hidden with lung, liver, prostate, and brain cancer charms added onto them. Talk about the long lasting effects of Cancer in Wade. They're very much present and can happen to him. Break this man down and show the nasty gruesome side thats not acknowledged. Wade is a Cancer patient that has allowed many kids to have hope. Allow them to see their symptoms in him too. Show them that they're normal and okay. And by all means, If you know anyone with cancer or that has beaten it check in on them. Because their may be affects they wont tell anyone, And if you have a history of cancer please get screened at some point. Cancer is a deadly thing in any form and my heart goes out to those who have it and those who've beaten it. I love ya'll <3 Stay updated on your health.

[babsharrison]

I have a fanfiction request about the movie Flying/Dream to believe where reader is bullied by the bullies of the movie, Leah and Stacy, but Tommy Warnecki, Keanu's character in the movie, defends her.

What do you think?

The movie in on youtube if you want an inspiration.

An unexpected defender - Tommy Warnecki x Reader

Pairing | Tommy Warnecki x Fem! Reader

Summary | In the school hallways, you find yourself targeted by the usual bullies, but unexpected help from a classmate transforms the moment, bringing a newfound sense of safety and an unexpected connection.

Word Count | 1.6k

A/N | Thanks for the request! I loved the idea and hope I didn’t get too carried away with the writing, lol. I really hope you like it! And sorry if there are any mistakes 😭💖

The hallway was especially crowded that morning. The metallic sound of lockers slamming, laughter scattered through the air, and the echo of conversations made you even more tense. You tried to walk quickly, keeping your head down, books pressed tightly against your chest, as if you could protect yourself from what was coming. It was a common strategy of yours, an attempt to go unnoticed, but you knew it didn’t always work. And unfortunately, that day, Leah and Stacy were nearby, and they rarely missed an opportunity to torment.

When you turned the corner, there they were, standing right in the middle of the hallway, talking and laughing loudly, as if they owned the place. Before you could change your route, your eyes met Leah’s, and a sudden chill ran down your spine. She had already spotted you.

“Look who showed up... our favorite,” Leah murmured, her voice dripping with sarcasm and malice. That smirk she always wore when she was about to do something unpleasant formed, and immediately, you felt the air leave your lungs.

Stacy, standing beside her, looked you up and down, crossing her arms with an amused expression, as if she were already preparing for the show. “Must be your lucky day,” Stacy added, laughing quietly, as if the mere sight of you was enough to entertain her.

You tried to avoid eye contact and passed by them, shoulders hunched. Maybe if you said nothing and kept walking, you could escape unnoticed. Maybe...

But before you could take another step, you felt something yank your arm. The notebook you were carrying was snatched from your hands in one swift motion.

“Hey, look at this!” Leah said triumphantly, waving the notebook in the air like a prize. “What do you think she’s hiding?”

The sound of Stacy’s laughter was like a knife in your stomach. Your feet felt glued to the floor. You wanted to react, wanted to say something, but the anxiety was already coursing through your veins, paralyzing you. Leah’s gaze was cruel as she flipped through your notebook, pretending to be deeply interested in its contents.

“Wow, this is depressing,” Leah sneered, tossing a page into the air. “Do you write this stuff to try to make someone care about you? Because honestly, no one cares.”

You took a step forward, feeling your throat tighten. “Please, give me my notebook back,” you managed to murmur, though your voice was weak, almost inaudible amid the hallway noise.

Stacy stepped closer, blocking your attempt to retrieve the notebook. “Seriously, what do you think you’re doing?” she whispered, as she shoved you back hard enough to make you stumble and hit the lockers.

The sound of the impact echoed down the hallway, and the sharp pain in your back was a reminder of how vulnerable you felt at that moment. Their laughter grew louder, and you felt the tears forming, your eyes starting to burn. You couldn’t let them see this. You couldn’t let them win.

But before you could do anything, Leah flipped through your notebook one more time, tossing a few pages to the floor, and threw the notebook at you with force. “Seriously, I don’t know how you have the nerve to leave the house with this pathetic stuff.”

You bent down to pick up the scattered pages, trying to control the shaking in your hands. Each word from them seemed to echo in your mind, like a constant reminder that you were an easy target. The pressure mounted, and the knot in your throat grew tighter.

“What’s the matter? Gonna cry now?” Stacy taunted, leaning over you as you gathered your things, her voice dripping with venom.

It was at that moment that a firm, determined voice rose above the chaos, cutting through the air like a knife. “Give her notebook back. Now.”

You looked up, surprised, as did Leah and Stacy, and saw Tommy Warnecki, standing a few feet away. He was serious, arms crossed, and the look he gave Leah left no room for argument. The hallway suddenly went silent, as if time had frozen around him.

Leah tried to keep her cool, straightening up. “This is none of your business, Tommy,” she said, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, clearly uncomfortable with his interference.

“I said give it back,” he repeated, not raising his voice, but with a tone firm enough to make it clear he wasn’t joking. His eyes fixed on them conveyed a silent authority, as if he knew he wouldn’t need to say it again.

Stacy glanced at Leah, waiting for her to say something, but Leah just huffed, frustrated. “Whatever. Not worth it,” she muttered, tossing the notebook carelessly to the ground and turning to leave, dragging Stacy with her.

You took a deep breath, feeling instant relief, but your hands still trembled as you bent down again to gather the scattered notebook pages. The silence around you felt deafening. When you stood up, Tommy was standing there, looking at you with a softer gaze, the seriousness from before had faded.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice lower now, almost a whisper, full of concern.

You nodded, though you knew your face probably revealed more than you wanted. The words were stuck in your throat, and the tremble in your hands hadn’t completely disappeared. Tommy noticed that. He stepped closer and, with a gentle gesture, placed his hand on your shoulder, a comforting touch that made you finally take a deep breath.

“They won’t bother you anymore. I promise,” he said, his gaze fixed on yours. There was something in his tone that conveyed safety, as if that moment was under control. As if he had made sure that, at least for now, you were safe.

You managed to murmur a “thank you,” but the word came out shaky, and your voice almost faltered. His gesture, however, made you feel like you didn’t need to say anything more.

Tommy watched you for a second longer, then suggested, with a soft smile, “Let’s get out of here? Get some air.”

The words seemed like the perfect escape from the weight you felt on your shoulders. The chaos of the hallway, the cruel laughter that still echoed in your mind, and Leah and Stacy’s disdainful glares seemed to disappear the moment he spoke. You just nodded, unable to form a more complete response. All you wanted was to leave that suffocating environment behind.

Tommy gave a small smile—one of those that barely lifted the corners of his lips, but it was enough to warm the mood between you. He waited as you tidied up your notebook, carefully gathering the loose pages. Once you stood up, he gestured for you to follow him towards the exit of the school.

As you both walked through the hallways, the silence between the two of you felt strangely comfortable. Instead of being awkward or tense, it was as if words weren’t necessary at that moment. Tommy’s presence beside you was enough to make you feel safe, and gradually, the tight knot in your chest began to loosen.

When you finally crossed the school doors and felt the fresh air outside, you took a deep breath, feeling instant relief. The gentle breeze seemed to carry away all the tension that had built up inside you. The sidewalk was quieter, and the distant sounds from the nearby park made it feel like you were in a completely different world.

Tommy stopped beside you, also looking ahead as the two of you made your way toward the park, with no real hurry. There was something about the way he walked—always calm and confident—that put you at ease. Every now and then, you caught him glancing at you, as if he was gauging whether you were truly okay.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” you said, your voice finally coming out steady, though still soft.

Tommy looked at you with a slightly surprised expression. “Of course I had to,” he replied, as if it were obvious. “I couldn’t just stand there and watch.”

The simplicity with which he said that made your heart skip a beat. There was something genuine about his words—he wasn’t expecting recognition or gratitude. It was as if defending you was something natural for him, without a second thought.

You both reached the park and found a wooden bench under the shade of a large tree. Tommy sat down first and, with a subtle gesture, indicated that you should sit next to him. You hesitated for a brief moment, still processing everything that had happened, but finally sat down, feeling the relief that the shade and his company offered.

For a few moments, silence reigned again. You watched the wind swaying the leaves of the trees, and the distant sound of children playing on the playground in the background. Being there, away from the school, felt like being in a parallel universe – a place where Leah and Stacy couldn’t reach you.

“You should stand up for yourself more,” Tommy commented, breaking the silence with his calm voice. “They only do it because they think no one will fight back.”

You looked at him, your face serious. “I... I don’t know how,” you admitted, feeling a pang of vulnerability as you voiced that out loud. “Whenever I try, I just make things worse.”

Tommy stared at you for a moment, his gaze calm but intense, as if he were trying to understand what was going on inside you. “You don’t have to face it alone. If you need help, I... I’ll be around.”

His words were so direct and sincere that you almost didn’t know how to respond. There was something comforting in knowing that someone cared enough to say that. Tommy, who always seemed so distant, had shown himself to be closer than you ever imagined.

You averted your gaze for a second, looking at your hands in your lap, and murmured, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

There was a short silence, but it seemed to stretch out. You could feel Tommy’s gaze on you, but it took you a few seconds before you looked him in the eyes again. When you did, what you saw was a gentle expression, almost as if he were trying to find the right words.

“Because... I don’t like seeing someone being treated like that,” he said, his voice calm. “You deserve better than that.”

The way he said that, with such conviction, made your heart beat a little faster. It wasn’t just what he said, but how he said it – as if it were na unquestionable truth to him. And for a moment, you almost believed it too.

A slight smile appeared on your lips, though shy. “Thank you,” you murmured, once again, but this time feeling that the word carried more weight than before.

Tommy returned the smile, that same discreet smile that seemed to reveal more than any words could. He leaned back a little, relaxing on the bench. The sun was still shining, but the tree’s shade offered a comforting embrace, and the soft sound of the wind and distant laughter created na almost perfect scene.

“So,” he started, changing the subject casually, “what do you like to do when you’re not dealing with... situations like today?”

You laughed softly, surprised by the sudden change in tone, but relieved by the lightness he brought. It was as if he was trying to distract you, to take you away from the bad memory of that day. “I like to read,” you answered, a bit hesitant at first, but soon relaxing. “And write too. Actually, those things in my notebook... they’re ideas for stories.”

Tommy raised na eyebrow, visibly interested. “Stories? What kind of stories?”

You blushed slightly, not used to talking about it with other people. “Well, I like to create characters, invent worlds... stories that are completely different from reality, you know? I guess it’s a way to escape, in a way.”

He nodded, seeming genuinely curious. “Makes sense. I think it’d be nice to escape reality sometimes.” He glanced at you with a playful smile. “Maybe I could read one of those stories someday.”

You laughed, although the idea of sharing your work with someone like Tommy made your heart race with nerves. “Maybe,” you replied, with a shy smile.

The atmosphere between the two of you was changing. What had begun as a moment of defense, of protection, was slowly turning into something more – a real connection. A friendship, perhaps. Or maybe something more. But, at that moment, what mattered was that you felt safe and comfortable for the first time in a long time.

Tommy leaned a little closer, his eyes fixed on yours. “I know we’ve just gotten to know each other better,” he began, in a slightly more serious tone, “but I wanted to tell you that if you ever need me, really, just look for me. I won’t let them treat you like that.”

Your heart raced. There was something so simple, yet so comforting, in his words. They weren’t empty promises, but rather a silent commitment that you knew he would keep.

You smiled back, with a sense of gratitude that was hard to express in words. “I’ll remember that.”

And so, there, under the shade of that tree, something new was being born. A bond that, somehow, you knew would be important – whether as friends or maybe something more. But, for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone.

[h0tb0x1nnac0ff1n]

𝒴ℴ𝓊'𝓇ℯ ℳ𝓎 ℋℯ𝓇ℴ 𝒟𝒾𝓍ℴ𝓃

Daryl Dixon X Mentally unstable fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff

TW: Insomnia, depression, ED, anxiety, SH, thoughts of unaliving

Summary: Reader is a female who has been struggling mentally for years, after everything has happened and they have run out of their medication they have gotten worse. But thankfully her crush, Daryl Dixon, is there to comfort her.

A/N: If you can relate to any of these warnings, please seek help. This post is for people who are struggling mentally but wish for a story that can truly help express how they feel. If you are not comfortable with the topics of this story, please scroll.

✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩☆✩

I sat on top of my sleeping bag, wrapped in a soft blanket holding a stuffed animal, earbuds in my ears, the wires ran through to the iPod I had playing my music. The time on the IPod said 2:27 am. I haven’t been able to sleep all night.

But the music that played

'𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ-𝑓𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑠 𝑠𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑐 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟ℎ𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑚 '

'𝐵𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ'

'𝐵𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ'

I know I shouldn’t listen to music that makes me feel sadness to this level but the instrumental of the song alone is beautiful.

In a world like today, feeling nothingness is how I get by, if I don’t feel happy I won’t get attachments, if I don’t feel sad then I don’t want to… you know.

'𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑢𝑟𝑠'

' 𝐺𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒'

‘ 𝑀𝑒'

'𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑𝑠'

I tear falls from my seemingly emotionless face.

My eyes close, and I just let the feeling of everything rush over me. I check my pill bottle to see if I had anything left, knowing I’ve been out for weeks at this point, not caring to tell anybody that the medicine that saves my life is now gone.

I then decide to get up to smoke a cigarette outside my tent.

I put the cigarette butt in my mouth and cover the end with my mouth and ‘flick’ with a lighter.

As I inhale, the lightheadedness of the nicotine entering my lungs relaxes me. I feel nothing. I’m empty.

The outdoors is dark, and damp from the rain we had just a few hours before, making the earth smell cozy and natural

“Whatcha doin’ up at this time?” I jump and the sudden presence of the individual.

I sigh “I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all”

I hear the ‘flick’ and ‘fwoo’ of another lighter, I see the small flame light the face of a man whom I’ve gotten to know as Daryl.

He himself lights a cigarette and the smoke fills the air around us, the smell was disgusting. The smell of cigarettes are nauseating, the taste was worse. But I don’t smoke for the taste.

“Whatcha listening to?” He asks turning his head to me, standing to my side.

“Just some alternative from the 90’s” I show him the screen of my IPod

“Mm, ya like music from then?”

“Yea I mean it wasn’t really that long ago, it was just 2010 when everything went to shit.” I say as I look at him with a slight smile on my face

“I mean music that’s 20 years old?”

“I mean, if you look at it. The grand scheme of everything it’s recent, the existence of intelligent humans it’s recent, not that time exists anymore, non of that stuff matters anymore.” Looking down at my cigarette and taking a quick drag of it

“Why do ya think like that? Like very deeply about the way things are.” He and taking a large drag of his cigarette and doing a ghost with it

“I just try to have a realistic and optimistic mindset on things” I said looking at him with soft eyes

“Hmm?” He responds, raising his voice a bit to make it sound like a question

“I think, we should acknowledge the way the world is, let it change us, but we should also be optimistic about it, and be grateful that I’m alive right now, speaking to you smoking this cigarette. I may not be breathing tomorrow, but right now I am”

“Have your meds ran out?” He asks quietly

“Yes, yes they have” I say in a serious voice

“How long have ya been out” he looked at me with sadness in his eye, the look of genuine appreciation and affection. His eyes were soft and sweet.

I pause for a moment, feeling the tears in my eyes show up. My eyes started to burn at the sudden wetness. “Uhm, maybe about two? Three weeks? I uh, I’m not entirely sure” I say looking down at my feet taking a long drag of my cigarette and flicking the ashes.

“Why haven’t ya said anythin’?” His voice gruff, and quiet. He seemed as if he was holding back anger, trying not to scare me.

“Because there isn’t anything I can do, we can’t just go to any pharmacy and pick up prescription medication especially that kind” I said raising my voice slightly at the last few words, starting to sound a bit agitated. Taking another drag of my cigarette I start to cry.

“I just wanna be normal Daryl. I don’t want to have to rely on these fucking pills to keep me alive! To keep me wanting to stay alive. And now there all gone” I said between sniffles, taking multiple drags of my cigarette as it burns out, and I reach for another one to light, taking a drag from that one.

“I just, I wish I had healthy ways to cope with everything. I’d rather feel nothing than feel something, maybe I’m better off as a walker or some shit” I say kicking a rock below my foot

Daryl then grabs both of my shoulders and makes me face him, his cigarette ash falling on my shoulder.

“Don’t ya EVER say somethin’ like tha’ in front of me ever again ya hear me girl!? I can take ya being sad, but not talking down on ya self, like ya said ya gotta except the way the world is, the fact you’re breathin’ as we speak, you’re alive and you’re alive without you’re meds, so stop sayin’ ya need them to live. Because ya don’t, and ya ain’t!”

I stare at him, my eyes fill up once more and I hug him. I hug him tight and bawl.

“I’m so sorry Daryl, I’m just having a hard time right now, I can’t sleep I’ve been trying all night I haven’t slept in two days I just ‘sniffle’ I just don’t know anymore.” I say as my face is pressed into his chest, soaking his dirty sleeveless shirt.

“It alrigh’, let’s get ya to bed” he says quietly, almost so soft I could hardly hear it. “Do ya want me to watch ya? Make sure ya sleep” he lets me go but holds onto my shoulder, letting me know he’s still there.

“Yea, that would be nice.” I say sniffling, looking up at him quickly then back at my feet twiddling with my fingers.

We then go inside of my tent and take my jacket off, showing my scars but I quickly hide them, feeling self conscious. But Daryl grabs my hand and kisses my wrist “I want to know how many times you cried for help, and nobody listened, I want you to know your safe and that I won’t do anything to hurt you” he says still holding into my hand.

I feel myself start to cry once again, why am I so emotional today?

Daryl hold me in his arms once more and lays down on his back on top of my sleeping bag, and covers me in my blanket. I lay my head on his chest, hugging him as he holds me, rubbing his hand through my hair and back.

After what felt like a hour of crying, my eyes are heavy and sleepy. I snuggle up to him more feeling myself start to fall asleep

“If ya need anybody, I’m here, because I care. I really do.” Daryl spoke softly

“But why?” I asked quietly as my voice cracked.

“Because-“ he froze for a second, thinking of what to say “I just think you’re a great woman, and that it’s unfortunate ya feel the way ya do about yourself because your beautiful, I wish ya could see tha’ too.”

He.. he thinks I’m beautiful? I look up to meet his eyes, and sit up slightly. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve laid eyes on” his voice was rough, and sounded a bit shaky. Was he nervous?

“I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve met Dixon.” I say as I meet his eyes.

We just look into each other’s eyes for a moment before I notice Daryl sitting up more. He pulls me onto his lap and looks at me, like as if he was asking for permission for something. I lean in closer to him and place a soft gentle kiss on his lips, and he reciprocated. Looking into his eyes I could see he was happy, he looked to be calm, at ease. He then hugged me, and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Daryl, do you like me, or was that in the moment?” I ask looking at him and he shares the expression of guilt

“I’m sorry, I thought you felt the same” Daryl says as he looks away from me, letting go of my hips. “No Dixon I do, I do feel the same” I say looking into his eyes, he kisses me one more time and smiles.

We then lay down and I check the time. 3:26 am, everything just happened in a hour.

I lay my head back on Daryl’s chest and close my eyes. And finally, fall asleep in the warm comforting embrace of the man of my dreams.

Weeks have gone by and Daryl and I are in a relationship now, he is always there for me when I need him. Always there to hold me tight when I feel at my worst, always there to smoke a cigarette with, there to speak about my feelings, and i speak to him about his feelings. Daryl and I haven’t just become a couple, we developed a genuine appreciation and love for each other. We are inseparable now, and years later, after prison, Terminous, Alexandria. Were are here for each other.

Daryl Dixon, has become my hero.

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃ℊ♡

[tarotphil]

Bestie I need to know what answers corresponded to Dan or Phil

oh my gosh I’d love to share :)) take the quiz before reading below the cut!!!!! also take this as the performance art it is, I’m not genuinely assuming very specific things about dan and phil’s internal worlds lol

for Dan: love like a dog as in loyal, eager to provide a service, full blown adoration. love like a leaky faucet as in always present even when the sink is “off”. but also as in sporadic, unexpected, unavailable. (this is not a dig at dan, that is the option I would choose)

for Phil: love like an archaeologist as in dedicated to craft of discovery, careful, curious. love like a snowstorm as in all encompassing, obscuring, hungry

for Dan: Catholic guilt yeah, but also thinking on the past in a “I wish I had done it different way”

for Phil: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. among other things his commitment to nostalgia is a type of grief.

for Dan: peeling fruit as an act of service has big dan energy. he would pass tiktok clementine theory. cannabalism bc i think he’d enjoy himself on yellowjackets Hannibal hunger as love tumblr. angels is his for a lot of reasons. I was thinking about angels as machinery, which meshes with his clean brutalism aesthetic. also angels as fallen from grace, as a subversive queer symbol

for Phil: time loops, we are back to the grief and nostalgia. but I’m also appealing to his brand of creativity here. glitch theory, fantasticalism. ghosts….. we are back to grief, but also his understanding of horror. the ocean is something I associate with phil a lot for some reason. I think it’s the mystery of it

for Dan: he’s a teddy bear, he’s so soft. he has his childhood teddy still. glowing globes for mystery, matches the aesthetic of the moon room. kiss me lollipop…… must I say more

for Phil: I was so captivated by him going “I think that’s what god looks like” in relation to the golf with friends structure. so, for phil, interesting lines and lights that evoke a feeling of reverence <3 icy stag bc I associate him with snow and the fantastical. surreal spotlight sky… I can’t explain it just is

for Dan: A Boat is a poem to me about navigating depression, I think dan would love it. Dan is SO this too shall devastate coded, I don’t think I need to explain.

for Phil: the Kyla Jamieson poem for a few reasons. Love of the natural world, but also I think it carries a sense of creative frustration? The Athena Davis poem because of how gentle it is. meditations on death, meditations on kindness

Dan and Phil: this is the only option on the quiz that gives points to both outcomes…. I want to do with you what spring does with cherry trees. That’s so them

I actually think these kinda speak for themselves

for Dan: he’s such a sensitive soul, which is why he got the heart hurt option. he puts so much of his heart into everything, so this is an acknowledgment of him not being as cerebral as he thinks. for the bones, an ache in my bones is one of the ways I visualize my depression. a bone deep heaviness

for Phil: hurt in your hands because of hands as a symbol for creativity. to me this meant an itch to create. hurt in your lungs I can really only justify by vibes. the hurt of running too hard maybe? Of a body meant to house you doing a bad job of it?

for Dan: mmm realizing I said I associate phil with the ocean which is true, but I associate Dan with whale falls. that’s all I got for that lol. for the microbiome, I love love love the human microbiome, it’s fascinating. I think dan would have a heck of a time with the idea that we’re mostly made up of non self organisms

for Phil: beauty in the small things and beauty in natural system we’re not at all a part of. nod to his love of birds, love you Steve

these are mostly all vibes, except for Phil’s sense of otherworldliness and Dan’s commitment to forward growth

for Dan: the wooden overcoats quote…… sorry not get 2009 on you. The Beatrice letters quote is a little bit “it’s awful work” “not to me, not if it’s you”. as a doctor loves his sickest patient for real

for Phil: the Mabel quote is a little bit about love as a creative I think, and a private creative at that. The love exists even if you destroy the art. the locked tomb quote, they are so dependent. he dyed his shoes green