digitaldiarystuff

[digitaldiarystuff]

Secret

soo i know this is the shortest thing i’ve ever written but it’s like a introduction of (possibly🤞🏻) a series so please let me know if you’d be interested in this 🥹

any and all comments would be greatly appreciated 💖

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pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N

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“Baby I’m home.” you announced to your boyfriend after coming straight from uni. Today was a hard day especially with the finals taking place but you were finally having a little off time and couldn’t be happier. The stress and anxiety was put on hold for a whole week and also, you were finally introducing your boyfriend to your whole friend group. Of course he’s met your closest girls, Val and Maria but this was the first time he’d be in a big group setting with you since everyone in the group had been super busy the last couple of months. You and your boyfriend had been officially together for two months but it was actually going so well that you spent most days and nights together and the relationship only grew stronger each day.

“I’m in the shower, baby.” he shouted and you headed over to his bedroom to get ready already having stuff at his place. You put on a nice going out top with straight fit jeans as your boyfriend joined you in getting ready.

“How was the exam, love?”

“It was actually okay, surprisingly.” you laughed and applied more blush.

“I told you you had nothing to worry about. I’m the one who should stress about today, I’m meeting all your friends at once after all.” he joked.

“They’ll love you.” you said as you hugged him from behind.

“Is there anyone I should be concerned about?”

“What do you mean?” you stiffened.

“Well every friend group has that overprotective one.”

“Oh yeah definitely.” you said while nervously laughing.

“Is there someone like that?”

“No, I don’t think so.” you avoided his gaze and finished getting ready leaving for your uber.

Once you arrived to the bar you met up with pretty much all your closest friends and their significant others, you were childhood friends for the most part but had some additions along the way over the years. It was pretty much like friends the series, where you met up as much as possible and knew everything about each other. As you scanned the table, you realized someone missing.

“Isn’t Pablo coming?”

[digitaldiarystuff]

False Hope Pt.4

soo like i said i read the series last weekend and got inspired again but honestly, third part could easily be the last so read it with caution and hope you enjoy it love yall sm

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pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

summary: you’re close friends with Pedri and pretty much in love with him, pretending you’re not you went to comfort him but he seeks the comfort in a different way than you would’ve expected

genre: suggestive but not quite, angst

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It had been a few weeks since you last saw Pedri and it couldn’t have been worse. He was occupying every thought and every dream, making you question your decision. Maybe it could’ve been better if you just agreed to go back and resume life without ever mentioning your undying love. You constantly stalked his instagram and even the gossip accounts just to see him being completely mia. He wasn’t spotted out in a while and hasn’t posted any training pics which was out of the ordinary but couldn’t bring yourself to reach out. It’s not like you haven’t thought about it but just was worried the reaction you’d get would be severely negative.

The only way you could be notified of his recent life was through Ferran and Sara. She was constantly coming by and trying to cheer you up, you weren’t particularly close beforehand but even the most stupid person aka Ferran could tell there had been something wrong with you and Pedri so Sara tried her best to be there for you even though you didn’t tell her much just that you had a falling out. It sounded stupid, like you were two high schoolers but you didn’t know how to put it into words. Sara understood and didn’t pry too much.

“You’re coming, right?” she asked excitedly but you were completely zoned out thinking about Pedri again.

“Coming where?”

“To Ferran’s birthday silly.” she bumped her shoulder with yours in a playful manner but you were quick to shake your head repeatedly.

“No no no no no no”

“Yes yes yes yes” she raised eyebrows trying to sound authoritative. “You need it, also Ferran really wants you there”

“Sara I really appreciate it but I’m going to have to pass.”

“Whyy?” she whined.

“You know why.” you looked at your hands anxiously.

“Y/N, isn’t it time that you let go?”

You didn’t answer, you couldn’t because you weren’t ready to start crying in the middle of a cafe on a random Thursday.

“Look, I don’t know the specifics but I know you two care about each other even though you don’t believe it right now. You were really close for a long time, that’s not something you could pretend never happened, if you want to talk to him this is your opportunity and if you don’t that’s also completely fine. Just don’t shut yourself out.” she sympathetically held your hand and made you look up at her.

“But if you seriously don’t want to, I’ll find something to tell Ferran. Do what you think is the best.”

You thanked her and left the cafe soon after needing a long bath to clear your head. There was no way you could go to a party Pedri would definitely be at, it was the dumbest thing you could do.

So here you were, waiting nervously next to Sara fidgeting with your hands while simultaneously trying to act chill. It was a hard combo to maintain and you often found yourself scanning the room vigorously to see if a certain someone showed up yet.

“He’ll come, just relax.” she said noticing your mannerisms and all you could manage to do was a small nod.

After a while with the help of alcohol, you managed to loosen up a little. You wished Ferran a happy birthday and danced with him and Sara for the most part but now had to use the bathroom. When you were finally done and making your way downstairs, your eyes immediately met with Pedri’s. It’s like he was waiting for you, under the stairs just looking up. He looked even better now, if that’s possible. He shaved and was surprisingly wearing bootcut cargo pants instead of his usual skinny jeans. He looked at you with such softness you almost melted but quickly told yourself off for being this delusional, if he wanted you he would’ve said something. He rejected you.

You tried to look unbothered and tried walking past him without having any conversation, as much as you wanted to see Pedri once you did you realized you were still so hung up on him and it made you pity yourself. But Pedri, being as annoying as he was, couldn’t let you to just leave without talking to him and followed you around like a lost puppy. You tried engaging in convos with random people beside you just to make him leave but he patiently waited until whoever you were talking to had to bail and play beer pong.

“Can we talk now?” he expectantly asked while you looked around for any possible escape routes but there weren’t any.

“About what?”

“Y/N I miss you” he said defeated and you immediately felt your eyes watering.

“We shouldn’t do this here, c’mon let’s find somewhere more quiet.” you said and walked ahead of him. It was actually because you didn’t want to cry in front of 100 people.

Once you were outside sitting on the loungers he took a deep breath and started again.

“Y/N I know it’s all my fault. I know that I hurt you so much and I’m sorry for all of it. I didn’t get a chance to properly do it before.” he looked down embarrassed and you slowly nodded. You weren’t actually waiting for an apology but hearing Pedri take responsibility made you feel a little bit better.

“Honestly, it’s okay Pedri.” you looked up at him and for a moment saw his eyes glistening when you called him Pedri instead of Pedro.

“This is life, you can’t always get what you want. I really don’t blame you, there’s no bad blood, yeah.” you smiled softly and he nervously gulped.

“I- I wanted to…”

“We should get back inside.” you announced as he was saying something.

“Did you want to say something?”

“Um, no no.”

You went back inside and successfully removed yourself from the awkward situation. Talking with him both felt familiar and new, like something completely changed in your relationship forever and you didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about it.

Throughout the night, Pedri watched your every move. His eyes never left your figure while you tried to keep yourself busy yet he never approached you again. As much as you enjoyed his attention, it was also a curse because you tripped on your two feet more times than you could count and it was becoming more and more embarrassing by the second. Your latest success was to spill your beer all over the floor and on yourself a little. Everyone laughed at how clumsy you were and so did you, the alcohol in your system making it easier. Sara told you, you could clean yourself in their bathroom and even get something to change into so you went upstairs oblivious to the fact that Pedri followed suit.

You clumsily picked out a shirt from Sara’s closet and as you pulled your shirt up the door opened slowly and Pedri was on the other side. He immediately looked away, took a step back and shut the door a little so there’s just a crack.

“Oh I’m so sorry I knocked but when you didn’t answer, just wanted to check up on you.” he excused himself and you were too shocked to realize you were in your bra when he walked in. You only remembered to put the other shirt on once he got out.

“Uh, it’s alright. I was just changing.” you said with burning cheeks. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Y/N I have some things I want to say to you and I wanted to talk to you outside but chickened out before.” he started and you stiffened up thinking this couldn’t be anything good. Maybe he had a girlfriend and wanted to let you know before they made it public or he wanted you to exclude yourself from his friend group.

“Why are we talking through a door? You can come inside and talk.” you laughed a little trying ti ease the situation but Pedri stayed outside.

“It’s easier this way.”

“Pedri if it’s…”

“Please let me finish. I prepared a speech and all just in case if I ever had the guts to talk to you. When I first came onto you, I didn’t know why I did it and I know this makes me a jerk but it’s the truth. I thought it was because I was frustrated and I just needed an outlet but… I would never have done something like that to you I care about you so much so when it happened I was a wreck. I was a proper asshole and I don’t blame you for leaving me like that. I chalked it all up to being lonely and having a close friendship but no, all day all night I thought about it Y/N. I tried my best to keep the act and continue being friends but when you pulled away from me it hurt so much that’s when I knew it couldn’t just be the friendship we have. It must be something more if I follow you around town just to prevent you from hooking up with a guy.” he laughed a little and you joined him. Even though that night was a nightmare for the most part, you couldn’t shake the feeling when he came to pick you up or when he begged the receptionist for the room number.

“So I knew then. I don’t know how I could be so blind for all this time actually. But after that you were so broken that I couldn’t cause you any more pain. I figured it’d be easier for both of us if I stayed silent and let you live your own life because truth to be told I’m a mess. I can’t promise you anything, I can’t say I’ll never hurt you because I did.”

You were slowly inching towards the door and didn’t even realize some tears falling from your eyes with his confession. He was right, he hurt you and made you miserable but he also made you the happiest girl with just a smile or a hug. You felt safe around him, you felt appreciated.

“And my life is so busy and I don’t ever want to make you feel neglected, this season has been… Never mind, we’re here to talk about us.” and with that you opened the door and saw Pedri also with teary eyes and a pout. When he saw you open the door he was taken aback and stopped immediately like he forgot everything he wanted to say.

“Y/N”

“Pedri” you smiled and once he saw you he started smiling too. You looked at each other for a moment before he reached for your hands pulling you a little closer.

“I meant everything I said.”

“I know.” and you really did know, Pedri may be a lot of things but he’s not a liar.

“And I know you deserve the best, you deserve a stable guy with the most time in the world to shower you with love and…” he trailed off.

“And?”

“And I’m willing to try to be that person, only if you allow me.” he raised his eyebrows in a curious manner and you thought about your whole history. Since the day you’ve met there was a voice inside you saying you were supposed to be together and here he was after all this time asking you.

As you were having an debate inside you Pedri took the chance to lean in closer.

“I’m not going anywhere this time.” he smiled and all you could do was lean into him and trust your gut feeling. Your noses were touching at this point and you could feel both your heartbeats going crazy.

Pedri closed the gap between you two and connected your lips. You reciprocated immediately and knew this was nothing like the last time, this was the Pedri you knew with all the determination in the world and he’d do anything to keep his word.

Maybe it wasn’t all false hope.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Bestiee we need a gavi fic PLEASE

love i’m so glad you said thissss because i have an idea💖

i think i can post it this week if i can get down to writing

[digitaldiarystuff]

Is there a worst mistake part 4,cuz I need it. The last part was too short!!!!!

babes seriously how much longer could it be lolll but maybe just mayyyybe i just reread it all and got inspired again who knows 🤐

[digitaldiarystuff]

Fatal Attraction Pt.2

please don’t hate me cause of how bad i write smut, idk what it is but i can’t write it to save my life hope it doesn’t suck🫣

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pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

genre: smut

summary: you were childhood best friends with Fermin which resulted in meeting Pedri since they got close, you couldn’t deny he was dreamy but he had a bad reputation so you try your best to steer clear of him but can you succeed?

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“You know Y/N, all you have to do is ask.” you could basically hear the smile he had on as he spoke, you cursed yourself for not being more calm and being as wet as you are.

“This is… just a misunderstanding.” you tried to argue but his hand on your waist was already drawing patterns on your back and it made you sound so vulnerable.

“Oh, I’m sure it is. There must be another Pedri.” he teased you.

“Well, there isn’t.” you fessed up and looked up at him. Damn he had an intense gaze. “But I don’t wanna sleep with you.”

“Okay” he replied biting his lip to not laugh. You were extremely frustrated because he just knew what he was doing to you.

“I really don’t.”

“I believe you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t.”

“Ughh” you groaned and tried wiggling out of his touch because suddenly, it became too much but he kept you still steadying you with both his arms and moving to stand right in front of you.

“I’ll believe you on one condition.”

“What?” you hastily asked hoping whatever he says could rescue you but to your absolute shock he remained silent as his left hand started inching lower. Your breath hitched and your whole body froze, including your brain because why the hell would you let Pedri do this whilst your best friend was sleeping in the next door. But a part of you was so excited about what’s happening that you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“You can tell me to stop at any moment.” he whispered against your lips as you realized how close he got to you. All your focus was on his fingers at the waistband of your jeans. You knew he meant it but it was too late to stop.

His hand swiftly lifted the band and reached your underwear, you didn’t even know what kind you were wearing but hoped it was something sexy. Once he finally reached his destination his face broke into a big smug smile, he just proved to both of you that you were dripping without him having to touch you.

“Okay, fine” you raised your hands knowing you couldn’t lie now. “You caught me” you figured he’d just retreat his hand and go about his day gloating to Fermin tomorrow but he gently started to rub your lips which made you moan out loud. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment but just couldn’t control it.

“Pedri” you whined and held his forearm.

He waited for you to say something but you couldn’t muster a single word as his fingers worked their magic. If you weren’t so turned on, you’d be so embarrassed because of the sounds you were making.

“We’re just starting, do you want me to stop?” he fake pouted and brought his lips to your neck leaving open mouthed kisses. You were a whimpering mess by now but Pedri looked calm as a cucumber like he was just doing mundane things. When you didn’t answer him, he pressed his fingers down to your core harshly making you moan.

“I said, do you want me to stop Y/N? Or do you want me to fuck you while Fermin’s right next door?”

You couldn’t even think straight, just whispered yes, yes, yes and Pedri wasted no time pushing you to one of the guest rooms next to Fermin’s bedroom just like he said. There was something about doing it while he could hear you that excited both of you even though he was probably knocked out by now.

He couldn’t even wait until you reached the bed and slammed you against the door. If it was anyone else you’d be annoyed but you were so desperate for Pedri that you didn’t say a word and reached for his face. He understood perfectly and kissed you for the first time, if you were in trouble before, you were absolutely fucked now because as soon as his soft lips touched yours you were gone. His hands were still going at a steady pace and you both could hear the sounds coming from you, you felt a little nervous about being this enthusiastic but Pedri made sure to tell you how much he enjoyed your excitement.

“You sound amazing, cariño.”

“Pedri” you couldn’t do much and just whisper his name over and over again. “Take me to bed”

And he did just that. He laid you down and got rid of every clothing item you had on starting from your jeans. Yes, you had black lace underwear on.

He kissed every inch of your thighs but you were growing impatient quickly so you pulled yourself up and toyed with his hair before pulling it hard. He moaned and you could’ve sworn this was the prettiest sound anyone can make.

“Are you going to do something?” you asked annoyed.

“Like what?” he leaned back and smirked, it was evident he enjoyed this game more than you.

“Like this.” you said and pushed his head between your legs and Pedri happily obliged. He was licking and kissing for what felt like hours and when you finally came, you had multiple dried tears on your face from how much pleasure you felt.

After the mind blowing sex Pedri finally stopped his movements and laid down next to you, panting. You also had to take a minute to catch your breath but that was when the panic started. You felt the clouds around your mind scatter and you realized the situation you were currently in, you and Pedri laying naked in Fermin’s guest bed. It was a heartbreaking revelation, you just became his latest conquest.

Your mind went into panic mode and you quickly stood up, Pedri looked at you confused.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah” you replied while trying to fit your legs into your jeans.

He didn’t say anything else, what was he going to say ‘oh please stay with me Y/N I’m madly in love with you’ You cursed yourself for falling into his trap but had to act nonchalant to gain back some dignity.

You walked over to the mirror and fixed your hair trying to look less disheveled. Your plan was to walk out without giving him any attention but he just couldn’t shut up.

“Uh, you sure you’re okay? I thought this was what you wanted.” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

You walked over to the door just to make a dramatic turn around and smirked as convincingly as possible hoping his judgement was clouded post sex and he couldn’t tell it.

“It was and now I want to go.”

[digitaldiarystuff]

Hi bestie,

Please I'm on my hands and knees begging, I need part two to enemies forever. It was soooo fucking good. I need to know what happens next.

thank you so so much this really means a lot to me🥹

i was originally supposed to post it last weekend but got very sick, hopefully it’ll pass and i could write asap 💖

[digitaldiarystuff]

Enemies Forever

soo this is something i’ve had in mind since the el clasico and hope you enjoyyy💖 and please comment on it that really helps me a lot xx

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pairing: Jude Bellingham x Y/N

genre: angst

summary: you are a famous actress in Spain and a die hard barca fan. You unfortunately were also in a situationship with the Real superstar Jude Bellingham but try your best to not let it get serious

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It was an intense match, to say the least. You were at the stands watching with so much anticipation you didn’t even realize the crowd filming you. It wasn’t the easiest being recognized everywhere you went but most importantly you didn’t want to steal the spotlight from what mattered the most, FC Barcelona.

You were raised as a fan religiously by your dad all your childhood, every match day was a chaos while all your close family friends and relatives came to your house and there was always a big feast before or after but never during the game. He even wanted to name you after the squad of Barca but luckily your mother intervened and named you something cuter so it was not a surprise to anyone that you were a big supporter. You were filming a series in Madrid as a young and successful actress so the game being held in Madrid was in your advantage for once. You always talked on interviews about your love for the club and went as far as being one of their models for a campaign last year which was a lifelong dream for you. And now, here you were anxiously watching the game against Real Madrid at Bernabeu VIP section with your Lewa shirt on. You decided wearing a youngsters shirt would cause so much more trouble even though you basically had all of them.

The game was head to head and it seemed like there would be room for another goal and it really happened, just not the way you wanted it to be. Bellingham scored right after the 90 minutes mark and everyone started screaming whilst you were devastated. With Fermin’s goal you really had hope for a win and since the season wasn’t going that well everyone needed it but it all came crashing down with a stupid goal from a stupid Madrid player.

Jude Bellingham.

You hated the way he celebrated rallying the fans further, you hated that he provoked everyone and anyone and most of all you hated him for scoring against your team. You and Jude had a complicated relationship, it was actually a few days after the first clasico at a prestigious night club in Madrid that you bumped into each other. You were seething with anger because a few days ago he crushed your hopes, again but he didn’t seem too concerned about your anger. In fact he looked like he enjoyed watching you try to shoot daggers at him and even had the audacity to come up to you late at night while you were completely wasted.

You sometimes wished that the story ended there, he came up to you and tried to flirt but you told him no way and walked away. But it didn’t. In fact, you and Jude had been meeting up pretty frequently over the last months and playing football definitely wasn’t his only talent. At first you told yourself it was all out of hatred, you did it because you were angry at him. In the morning you quickly dressed up and told him your team would be in contact to sign the non disclosure agreement and left in a hurry not even speaking to him properly. It was a shameful act but it was just a one night stand, right? Then came the second time you met, it was at your costar’s house party where only a few people were invited and he had to be one of them. Jude came up to you talking loudly about how your show helps him get better at Spanish and all this bullshit to throw any eavesdroppers off.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked him with furrowed brows “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to leave the house unless I had your approval. I also didn’t know we were getting that serious.” he winked and smiled but all you could feel was panic and frustration.

“No, it’s not what I- We’re nothing. No in fact we aren’t nothing, we’re rivals and we despise each other.” you stated pointing your finger at him but he just watched your poor attempt of scolding him with a boyish grin on his face.

That’s how you ended up sleeping with him the second time and the next morning tried your best to escape without him waking up but he beat you to it.

“Where are you going?” he mumbled in a deep voice as you were walking out on him.

“I have a scene to shoot this afternoon.” you lied without looking at his face.

“It’s only 7” he answered back as he reached for his phone on the nightstand.

“I know.” you said still refusing to turn back but soon heard shuffling and felt his arms reach around you and pull you in a hug. You stiffened in his touch, not sure what to expect.

“Why are you trying so hard to hate me?” he leaned his head on your shoulder trying to get a look at you but you turned your head slightly.

You were caught off guard by his question.

“I’m not trying.” you confidently answered using your acting skills. “I just do”

He sighed loudly and freed you.

“So let me get this straight, this, this whole thing we did last night, it’s all out of hate? I hope all the Barca fans who hate me won’t request the same treatment.” he joked you and you felt your anger return immediately at the mention of your team.

“Yes, I hate you. I hate you and your club. This, us sleeping together a couple of times changes nothing in my eyes. It was just a drunken mistake.” you tried defending yourself but knew your excuse was weak since you didn’t even drink much last night in hopes that would prevent you from getting in his bed, which was proven not to be the case.

“Oh, c’mon Y/N you know this isn’t just being drunk and wanting to fuck anything that moves.”

“But it is.”

“But it’s not and you know it. Yes, that would explain the first time but the second one, that’s on you. Look I seriously can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t believe it when you say you don’t want anything with me.”

“You practically begged me.” you raised your voice being in disbelief about how he was trying to pin this on you and also deliberately ignoring his last statement but unfortunately, your heart rate was pretty damn affected by it.

“Yeah, I did because I’m not a coward who’s afraid of what people might think of me and there’s obviously something between us Last night you had every right to stop me but you didn’t. So stop with this bullshit.” he said also in a raised voice. You were too stunned to make a comeback so gathered all your belongings and left his place. He was an annoying guy, sure but what got to you the most was the fact that he was right. You had every chance to tell him to stop or leave you alone but there was something linking you to him. You felt it too but was pretty embarrassed by it. Jude tried calling out to you but you didn’t stop afraid of what might happen and walked to your car leaving his place.

After that it was calm for a while but with Jude, this is never a good sign.

Your inner voice was right and there he was, standing at your door at 2 am. He looked out of it, his eyes were hooded, his phone screen was cracked and he smelled like a luxurious liquor store.

“Jude, how did you-

“I asked Ines.” he explained before you finished your question which was a good sign, his brain still half worked.

“Why would she give you my home address this is so irresponsible, what if you were planning on killing me?” you panicked at your friend’s poor judgment but Jude found it amusing. He bit his lip in order to stop himself from giggling.

“What are you laughing at? Are you here to kill me?” you raised a brow being more annoyed at him now.

“I’m here to talk.” he immediately looked more serious but it only made you sweat.

“Talk about…” you trailed off hoping he’d finish the sentence for you.

“The global warming and its effects on the society.” he looked at you like you were dumb for even asking. “I’m here to talk about us.” he said when you flipped him off.

“Jude, there’s no us and you know it.”

“But I don’t know it Y/N, I really don’t because you try so hard to act like you don’t feel anything but I see it every time we’re together. The you hating me and being disgusted by me is all part of the act and I know it because whenever we touch it’s electricity.” he tried pleading with you but you were adamant about this being nothing important. You were just mortal enemies having hate sex.

“Jude, I think you’re just reading too much into it.” you finally said and saw his shoulders drop immediately. You knew you were lying, you felt it as much as he did, you couldn’t stop thinking about him either.

“S okay, I’m sorry to bother you.” he turned on his heels and started making his way down the stairs of your house but all you felt was panic. You tried your best to stay strong and not let these weird feelings get in the way of your brain but they did and you called out to him. He turned back when you asked if he wanted some water but both of you knew this had nothing to do with any beverage.

He came in that night and you started to talk, for the first time without you taking jabs at him for anything he said or him making stupid jokes. You expected the talk to be awkward and have stretched out silences but to your absolute surprise it happened so effortlessly.

You talked about your upbringings and families, jobs (yes you still gave him a hard time about being a Real Madrid player) and anything and everything. It felt so good to open up to someone about some of the things you found hard and he did the same. In fact, the night went so good that you asked him to join you in bed after a while and he held you while you slept. Needless to say it was probably the best sleep you’ve had in your adult life.

The next morning you woke up to see Jude cuddling to you like a koala and couldn’t help but smile to yourself. You wanted to make some breakfast so tried slowly getting out of his grasp but it only became stronger.

“I’m not letting you escape.” he murmured still half asleep.

“Jude, this is my house.” you laughed but he still didn’t budge.

“I want to make something to eat.” you whined hoping this would make him drop you but he just opened one eye and looked at you skeptically.

“Don’t you have a chef?”

“Oh, I’m sorry not all of us has that kind of money.” you retaliated and his face immediately turned pink as he thought you were offended.

“I- I didn’t mean it like-

“Relax, I’m messing with you. I do but she’s on a vacation.” you laughed but he stayed pouting so you figured a kiss would do the trick and it worked wonders.

This is how your past months were, secretly meeting up at one of your places, having dinner and basically doing most things couples do but without going out or having a title. He tried to have ‘the talk’ but you shut him down because it terrified you, you had strong feelings about him but decided it’d be better to sweep them under the rug and Jude, begrudgingly respected your decision.

But today was different, it was the el clasico and you couldn’t stand Jude at the moment. You were pretty convinced people could see the smoke coming out of your ears but didn’t care and hastily exited the stadium to go home. On the ride back you missed several texts and calls from Jude about where you were and when you finally checked them you didn’t bother to answer. He should know how mad you were right now and give you some space.

Unfortunately, that’s not the kind of man Jude Bellingham is. You were sure of it when you saw him standing at the door with a smug face and some chinese.

“I’m seriously not in the mood” you tried to shut the door because just seeing him made your blood boil.

“Aren’t you gonna congratulate me?” he laughed and you suddenly had an urge to strangle him but while you were staring at him in shock he made his way in.

“Jude, I said I’m not in the mood.” you reiterated but he was busy making himself comfortable on your couch. You stood in front of him while he looked up at you.

“Oh, come on, you can’t seriously be mad. This is my job Y/N.”

“And that was my team you scored against at the last minute.”

“What should have I done? Miss on purpose?” he looked at you like he was stating the obvious.

“I didn’t ask you to do anything on purpose, I’m just not in the mood for your teasing or gloating.” you motioned to the real madrid shirt he had on.

“How is this gloating? I literally came straight from the game? I didn’t have anything else clean.”

“Well yeah, it’s pissing me off.” you yelled.

“Y/N you need to understand I’m a professional footballer and I was just doing my job. It wasn’t anything personal.” he stated more calmly so you sat down next to him.

“And you need to understand it’s nothing personal too. I just can’t or won’t deal with a Madrid player right now… Or for a while.” you added with your hands in your hair and he raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.” you avoided his gaze.

“So you want to end this because I scored a goal.” he asked trying to remain calm but you could see his demeanor shift.

“Look, it was never going to work out anyway. We don’t have to make it a big deal.”

Now it was Jude’s turn to stand up angrily. He started shouting but you couldn’t even focus on the things he was saying, all you could think about was to wish you’ve never said all that. You didn’t even mean it but were just angry at the moment, maybe you wanted to hurt him just like he hurt you but you quickly realized breaking things off had effects on both of you. Jude stormed out after about two minutes of yelling, he looked so mad and defeated and you couldn’t help but blame yourself for hurting him.

This was for the best, you told yourself repeatedly. Maybe if you said it enough times it’d become the truth.

You woke up the next morning with a headache, not surprisingly. For a moment you reached over at Jude’s side to get some affection but was quickly reminded of last night’s events by the coldness of his side. Your heart ached and you felt so bad after seeing his state but couldn’t bring yourself to beg for his forgiveness. Maybe you should’ve done that, told him about all your fears and ask for a proper chance but couldn’t.

After taking a quick shower, you decided to check your phone. You wanted to do it the moment you woke up but was afraid there wouldn’t be any notifications from Jude. Not that you cared but still. And to nobody shock, there weren’t. You knew this would eventually happen. One day you’d push him too far and he’d leave you alone just like you told him multiple times but the thing you didn’t anticipate was him being the talk of the town. Well, you figured he’d be because of the game last night but it was actually for other reasons.

‘Jude Bellingham spotted leaving the club with an unknown woman after a magnificent goal’

[digitaldiarystuff]

love the new fic 💜💜

thank you so much🥹🥹💖

[digitaldiarystuff]

Fatal Attraction

i’m actually not sure what to say as an excuse rn but i’m sorry to keep you waiting hope you like this one and please leave comments they really help me🥹

————

pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

genre: no idea at all

summary: you were childhood best friends with Fermin which resulted in meeting Pedri since they got close, you couldn’t deny he was dreamy but he had a bad reputation so you try your best to steer clear of him but can you succeed?

————

You left uni after your horrible professor finally decided 4 hours were enough for boring you to death. It was nearing 8 pm when you could finally escape. You wondered how you managed to sit for 8 hours straight in high school when you couldn’t even handle a 2 hour class of historical design now. But then again, Fermin was with you for all those times. He was your best friend practically all your life because your families were friends long before you were born so it was natural. Even when he went away to La Masia you never grew apart and you even came to Barcelona to study just so you could be close again. He was you ride or die, literally and you two were the perfect example of a guy and a girl being strictly platonic besties. You viewed him more as a brother than a friend and so when you moved to a new city he made sure you never felt alone. He always invited you to games and hangouts, introduced you to practically everyone around him and even sent you on a few dates over the course of last year but you always struggled to keep a genuine connection with a guy like that. They always seemed too superficial or wanted to use you to get closer to Fermin now that he was in the starting 11. Most of them just wanted sex and that wouldn’t be a problem for you if they just tried a little but no, they always expected it for buying you a 20 euro meal or a drink at the club and it was exhausting you. You also weren’t looking to get married in three months but sometimes, especially when Fermin and his shiny world wasn’t around, you wished there was someone to turn to. You just wanted affection, can’t a girl get affection these days?

Your inner monologue was cut short by the ringing of your phone.

“Hey” you chirped answering it.

“Y/N hi.” as soon as you heard the voice behind the phone you stopped all your movements, you were expecting your best friend to annoy you but it was actually Pedri.

“Um, hi” you answered not understanding why Pedri would be calling you from Fermin’s phone.

“I’m gonna tell you something but promise you won’t get mad” Just that sentence alone made sure you’d get mad.

“Just out with it Pedro.”

“Soo… Fermin’s drunk.” he finally confessed and your eyes went wide, you even checked the time again to see if you lost track of time.

“It’s only 7.45. How?” you were baffled with Fermin’s choices but still had a question needed answering.

“Yeah so it’s actually a funny story-

“Pedro why did you call me? Did something happen to him?”

The thought made your blood run cold.

“No no don’t worry we’re fine. It’s just, we don’t have a ride back.”

“Back from where?”

“Um, sorry yeah just, what’s the address?” he asked clearly talking to someone next to him and as soon as you heard a high pitched female voice you got the gist of the situation.

They went to some girls’ place and now that their business’ was over needed someone to rescue him before the public sees them.

“Just text me the address.” you huffed annoyed, didn’t even let him answer and hung up.

It’s not like you didn’t know the boys were doing this stuff, they were young famous and rich. Of course they had every right to enjoy their life, it’s just…

It’s just whenever Fermin was in a situation like this, it was always with Pedri and it annoyed you. Pedri as a whole annoyed you yes but the fact that he was with a different girl sometimes more times than he actually plays football was unsettling and unnecessary even.

He reminded you of those people on Too Hot To Handle like come on one week without sex couldn’t be that bad. You went without it for… a really long time. And he wasn’t even that good looking to begin with so you could never understand why those girls were throwing themselves at him. Yes his eyes were shining bright whenever he was in a good mood, his jawline was damn near perfect and his smile was contagious but that’s about it. Pedri was not that great, or so Fermin said.

“Who’s that? Is that the infamous Pedri Gonzalez?” you asked Fermin when your eyes caught his at the party currently being thrown at Balde’s house. Fermin brought you because according to him, you really needed to let loose and get some vitamin d (his words not yours).

As soon as his eyes followed yours he immediately pulled you away shaking his head relentlessly.

“Oh no no no no no. No.”

“What?” you asked after looking at Pedri one more time and noticed he was still watching you.

“No, Y/N. Not him, anyone but him. Well, not anyone. I don’t really feel great about Ferran and Gavi would be a little complicated but even they’re okay but not Pedri.”

You tore your eyes from the gorgeous boy in the other corner of the room and looked at Fermin like he had grown another head.

“I just asked who he is” you defended yourself but Fermin was quick to cut you off.

“It always starts like that, then he’ll come over and charm you into the bed or worse, the restroom and bam! You’re left behind.” the way he described it made you sober up immediately.

“Gross”

“Exactly. So repeat after me. I”

“I”

“Will not”

“Will not”

“Sleep with Pedri”

“Sleep with Pedri” you repeated but was shocked to see Pablo passing by you and say it at the same time as you. Fermin was quick to hit his head and murmured a ‘cabron’ and you chuckled at their fight.

Fermin also lost his serious manner for a second and laughed but pulled himself together soon.

“Look Y/N I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“It’s okay Fermin, it’s not like I wanted to do it anyway. I’ll just steer clear of him.”

You really meant it and tried your best to avoid Pedri at all cost since the first time you’ve met and just kept it pleasant with small hi’s and bye’s but he really had a charming personality and his eyes were like magnets and no matter how hard you tried you’d still find yourself drawn to his eyes whenever you crossed paths.

Fermin saw it too and tried to warn you a few more times but you told him to knock it off because there was no way you’d ever stoop so low, right?

You really did find his behavior with women disgusting, even though he claimed he never indicated anything about a relationship or even a date you obviously knew all those girls were looking for it and were left heartbroken when Pedri shut them off completely after spending the night together. But he was the sweetest talker and it was so easy to fall into his trap, it was so lucky that you didn’t.

You finally arrived at the address Pedri texted you from Fermin’s phone about 20 minutes later and saw them waiting in the lobby of an apartment complex. They both had hoodies with sunglasses, if they were hoping to lay low this was really not it.

Pedri carefully laid Fermin in the backseat and got in the passenger side of your car. You didn’t even answer his hey and turned back to take a look at Fermin.

“Why would you drink this much?”

“Uh, I don’t think he can understand you at the moment” Pedri chimed in.

“And you! Why would you let him do this to himself?” you now pointed a finger at him.

“I wasn’t exactly with him while it happened.” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“Where were you? Oh” you said immediately knowing the answer.

“Did they at least sign NDA’s?” you asked slightly bitter. Although you tried your best to mask it with annoyance for Fermin’s state.

“Yeah yeah, Fernando’s handling it.”

It was the way he was so nonchalant that made your stomach turn. You turned the car on and started driving to Fermin’s place.

“Do you mind me putting on a song?” he asked after an uncomfortable silence and slightly nodded your head. He immediately connected to AUX and put on Bad Bunny.

After a minute Pedri started to silently sing along and you turned your head to his direction.

“You shaved.”

He was shocked you talked to him given the fact that you never did it if you weren’t forced to but quickly turned to look at you and scratched his chin.

“Yeah, it was getting hot.”

You turned your attention back to the road and answered, more to yourself.

“Well I liked it.”

“You did?” he asked with another shocked expression. Pedri sometimes assumed you didn’t even remember his name.

“Yeah well, it looked more mature but given your current state I think the childish look suits you better.” you chuckled and he joined you.

You didn’t even know why you told him you liked his bearded look, I mean you really really did but this was forbidden territory.

“I’m sorry you had to come to get us.” he said after another moment of silence.

“It’s alright. I didn’t have anything else to do and I couldn’t leave Fermin stranded.” you looked back at your best friend sleeping peacefully in the backseat.

“You really care about him.” he also looked back at the blond boy smiling.

“I do. He’s my best friend.”

The ride continued without another word from either of you and you finally pulled up to Fermin’s driveway.

You opened the back door and tried waking Fermin up but Pedri was quicker and got him up putting all his weight on himself and basically carried him in. You opened the door and let them in helping with Fermin’s bag while Pedri carried him upstairs to his room and came back a minute later. You were tidying up Fermin’s living room as he approached you.

“I think he’ll be fine.” he smiled.

“Thank you.” you said without glancing back at him expecting him to go crash in one of the guest rooms but he stayed still, making you realize for the first time in a year you were alone with none other than Pedri. Your body stiffened up and he noticed.

“Are you cold?”

“What?” you turned to him raising a brow.

“You’re shivering.” he motioned his head forward and had a sly smile on his face and your cheeks immediately burned with embarrassment. How could you possibly tell him it was because this was the first time they were alone (if you don’t count passed out Fermin upstairs) You were not cold in the slightest, actually your body was pretty hot.

“Uh yeah it’s chilly.” You tried your best to not look at him without being disrespectful, you didn’t want him to think you were a bitch just that you were his friend’s friend and that’s it.

“Do you need help with anything?” he asked bending down and picking an empty pizza box from the floor.

“No it’s okay, you can just go upstairs and rest.”

“I’m actually just gonna call an uber.”

“Uber?” you asked “You don’t have to do that you can stay here, Fermin wouldn’t mind.” you blabbered on but just as you shut up a voice in your head said maybe that’s not why he’s leaving. It’s still early, he’s not passed out drunk and he probably has many girls lined up waiting for a call.

“Or if you have somewhere to be, it totally cool.” you tried shrugging nonchalantly as if you didn’t care at all but probably failed. This conversation was becoming more and more difficult by the second.

“I have nowhere to be.” Pedri chuckled at your nervousness.

“Then you’re welcome to stay.” you once again turned to him for a second but that turned out to be a mistake on your part because Pedri was intensely watching your every move. Sometimes you wondered how many more people weren’t falling in love with him everyday, he could easily hold a meaningful eye contact every time your eyes met.

“What if we watched something?” he asked. “You love reality tv, right?”

You didn’t know what you were supposed to be more shocked about, the fact that he offered to watch something with you or that he knew your tv watching habits and stood still until you found the courage to speak up.

“Sure, why not?”

That’s how you ended up in this position with him, takeout boxes on the coffee table and sitting closely in the middle of Fermin’s l shaped sofa. Pedri could easily lay on the longer part as he already had his feet on that part but he opted to sit just next to you. Your thighs were centimeters apart and whenever he turned to you to laugh at something a cast member had said you’d feel his hot breath on your face. The setting felt too intimate for two people that were barely considered as friends yet alone one person with a pathetic little crush. You tried to ignore the feeling rising within you and tried your best to focus on the show but it was nearly impossible as Pedri once again made a comment about the sex drive the cast had and held your thigh in the process.

“I mean they have to be faking, this is too much even for me.” he laughed while your eyes were focused on his hand on your leg, you couldn’t even comprehend his comment for a second.

“Oh come on, you couldn’t even last a day there.” you teased having no control of your tongue. The comment was a surprise to both of you.

“You don’t think I can last a week without sex?” he raised an eyebrow smirking at you and you felt the tension in the air shift slightly.

“I don’t think you could last a day.”

“Now you’re being unfair.”

It was your turn to raise a brow being like ‘really?’

“I’m not that bad” he continued to defend himself but you weren’t convinced.

“Come on Pedri, I’ve heard the stories.”

“I’m perfectly capable of not doing anything with any girl for however long I want.” he looked around.

“Just look at us.” he motioned between you two and your eyes immediately turned to his hand still resting on your thigh. He retreated it slowly while awkwardly chucking. Even though you enjoyed the banter, the mention of you two brought back the awkward and painful feeling you had. Maybe he thought you were not hot enough to hit on.

Before you could answer you heard some noises from upstairs and went to check on Fermin. He was now up and in his en-suite crouched on the toilet ready to throw up.

“Y/N” he mumbled quietly and you bent down next to him.

“What did you even drink, my god Fermin you’re unbelievable.” you scolded the boy but this was you trying to be soft. He really shouldn’t put himself in these situations.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked trying to get out of your interrogation but you hesitated to answer.

“I- we were watching tv and had takeout.” you stammered and Fermin looked up at you with confusion.

“Who’s we?”

“Me and Pedri” you bit your lip because you knew what was coming.

“Y/N we’ve talked about this, you need to stay away from him.” Fermin said sounding exhausted both from his state and how many times he had to talk to you about Pedri.

“We’re just friends Fermin, he’s your friend too.” you said trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

“Yeah well I don’t wanna have sex with him.” you shushed him as fast as you could afraid that Pedri would hear it.

“Are you okay now?” you asked as Fermin stood up and washed his face.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Just gonna sleep it off.” he said as you were walking out to give him privacy. Just as you shut the door behind you you were faced with Pedri with a slight smirk on his face.

“Do you wanna have sex with me?”

You were stunned to say the least and couldn’t even muster a word just let out a nervous laugh.

“What?”

“I heard Fermin”

“Look Pedri I don’t know how much you heard but he’s out of his mind and was saying some extremely dumb stuff.” you tried to move past him but he placed a hand gently on your waist to prevent you from running away from this highly embarrassing situation and slowly leaned into your ear to whisper.

“You know Y/N, all you have to do is ask.” you could basically hear the smile he had on as he spoke and hated yourself for not being more calm and being as wet as you are

————

ooh not sure about this one really but hope you enjoy loves💖

[digitaldiarystuff]

love the fermin fic<33

aww thank you so much babe🥹💖

[digitaldiarystuff]

Enemies (To Lovers?)

so i’m shocking myself with how many stories i upload in one day but let’s not jinx it lol

this was a request but i can’t find where, anyways hope you enjoyy💖

————

pairing: Declan Rice x Y/N

summary: you and Declan never really clicked but now that you’re locked in a room what other option is there than to talk it out

genre: slight angst maybe also slight smut

————

“Ugh I hate him” you told your friend Ariana the minute you entered the villa.

“Who?” she asked not understanding how you got involved in beef even before talking to anyone at the party.

“Who do you think?” you asked her in a duh voice.

“Dec? Girl you two seriously need to drop this petty act.” she whined fed up with you.

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t just stop this childish hate for Declan Rice, the Arsenal ‘superstar’ You have been in the same friend circle since last summer. When your friends first told you about him you were pretty optimistic actually, everyone told you what a great and genuine guy he was and you thought ‘wow we’d get along well’ but it wasn’t the case. From the moment you first met, Declan had a weird vendetta against you. He showed how much he didn’t like you from the first day you met by spilling his drink on you, granted he might’ve accidentally do it but his actions after were enough.

“Stop laughing” you snickered trying to get the red stain out of your white blouse but Declan kept on smiling.

“At least now you have some colour in your life.” he bit back and you couldn’t believe this was the guy everyone told you about. He certainly didn’t look that great to you, apart from his piercing blue eyes and charming smile that obviously didn’t work for you.

If he’d just apologized like a normal person you’d of course let it go but he didn’t, in fact he constantly made fun of how angry you were and poked fun about it. That’s why you didn’t want to be here today, at his multimillion dollar mansion celebrating his team’s newest win but all your friends, especially Ariana, told you you had to be there. They had this weird fantasy about Declan actually liking you more than you realize and trying to show it like a third grader, pulling your hair and throwing erasers at you. You found it stupid, he was a grown adult and showed how much he disliked you like he was and you returned his hatred by hating him.

“Did I hear my name?” Declan suddenly appeared behind you and put his arm around Ariana and you were thankful he didn’t try it with you.

Deep down, what upset you the most was his behavior towards everyone else. He was seemingly cute and warm with everyone else while he always made fun of you and that made you feel uneasy, what was it that made him dislike you this much? You felt left out but you’d never admit it of course.

“Y/N was just telling me how proud she is of you.” Ariana tried lightening the mood and offer peace but Declan had to ruin it by rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m so proud you make millions by kicking a ball for 90 minutes a week. That’s really noble of you.” you sarcastically said.

“Not all of us has to be chained to a cubicle 40 hours a week” he quipped back and you felt even more angry at him.

“Yeah because some of us need money to pay for real things like rent and food.”

He thankfully left you alone after that and went back to being his other persona.

“Y/N I know you don’t want to hear this but you need to stop being so hostile towards Dec. He’s really not that bad.” Ariana said.

“You’re right Ari, I don’t want to hear it.” you shut her down and grabbed yourself a drink.

You weren’t usually this cold but he had something about him that made you snap instantly. But there was no way you’d be the person to break the friend group so you were just going to have to deal with him.

It was well into the party and you felt the buzz from all the alcohol you consumed which was a lot. You needed it very much to calm your nerves and not start any more fights. You were just sitting on the sofa humming to the song in the background when one of your close friends Kayla suddenly turned to you.

“Y/N can you grab me some painkillers from the guest bathroom? My head’s killing me.” she whined.

You really didn’t want to go snooping around Declan’s home, one because you didn’t know the house quite well and two because you didn’t want him to say anything negative about you.

“Is there anyone else who could do that? I don’t know the house well enough.” you tried but she insisted everyone was either too drunk or outside so you reluctantly agreed. She even gave you the directions to the room and you went upstairs, you’d never admit it but Dec had a good taste in interior design. He didn’t have one of those all white lacking personality type of home, his space had character with some pops of colour in every room including the guest bedroom which was the size of your apartment. You cursed yourself for liking something about him and went into the en-suite connected to the guest bedroom trying to look for the painkillers Kayla described.

You were shuffling around the cabinets having a hard time because you had to steady yourself a few times a minute when you heard some footsteps and figured you took too long and she came to get them herself but as luck would have it, it was actually Declan.

“Oh, it’s you” he said with more softness than he did when you first walked in so you figured he must be intoxicated as well.

“I thought someone was trying to steal something.” he said as he walked over to you.

You didn’t stop looking around to look at him.

“I’m surprised you didn’t accuse me yet.” you scoffed.

“Oh I’m getting to it.” he laughed dryly. “What are you doing here anyway? Trying to see if I have a girlfriend?”

You couldn’t even comprehend his sentence when you heard the door shut. You immediately looked back and saw Declan lean against the en-suite door with his arm. His muscles were flexed as he turned to the bedroom door surprised it has shut down.

He made his way over to the door trying to open it only to be unsuccessful. He wiggled the door knob a few times.

“Why don’t you open it?” you asked and he looked back at you like you were stupid.

“What do you think I’m trying to do?”

“I don’t know, you look like you built those muscles for nothing.”

He tried again but in vein. The door was stuck.

“What the fuck?” he said still trying and you started laughing at your faith.

“You’d think after spending millions of pounds the doors wouldn’t be stuck.”

“Would you stop whining?” he asked clearly agitated.

“Only if you open the door.”

“Do you think I want to be stuck here with you?” he harshly asked and you felt your confidence slipping. You were always self conscious when drunk.

When you didn’t respond he turned his attention to you.

“Y/N, I-

“Why do you hate me so much?” you asked finally trying to get an answer to the question you’ve had for months.

“What?”

“Why do you hate me so much?” you repeated.

“I- I don’t hate you.” he murmured but you knew it was a lie.

“Yes you do, you love everyone else. You’re so nice with them but you’re rude to me. I know I’m not the best either but I feel bad when I see you with the others. What is it about me that you hate?” you felt the weight lifting off your chest as you spoke. Yes it was the alcohol that made you say those things but they were true.

“I think we should talk later when you’re not drunk.” he dismissed you and it only angered you more.

“I’m not drunk.”

“Yes you are, you’ve had a million cocktails.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I watch at you anytime you’re not looking!” he raised his voice startling you. In all the time you’ve known Declan he’s never even gotten mad.

“Why? So that you can use the things you see against me?”

“Do you really think that’s what I’m doing? You can’t seriously think I’m going out of my way everyday just to argue with you. I’m watching you because I like seeing you interact with people and it kills me that you’re not that kind to me. I wish you’d be like that with me but if bickering is what gets you talking to me I’m okay with that.” he finally let go of the door and went over to the bed sitting on it without looking at you.

You were in shock about all the things you just heard.

“Declan you’re being mean, you can’t play with me like that!” you shouted at him thinking this was his way of messing with you.

“Do you really think that low of me?” he finally looked up at you and you saw the sincerity in his eyes that everyone was talking about. He looked more genuine than ever. He combed a hand through his hair.

“I- I don’t know.” you murmured conflicted about the whole situation. On one hand you really didn’t think he’d stoop so low but on the other hand you couldn’t believe his admission that easily.

“Why do you act like a prick then?” you asked trying to get to the bottom of it.

“Because that’s the only way you’ll talk to me even if it’s to argue.” he admitted with his head low.

You stood in front of Declan with your hands against your hips trying to wrap your head around the situation but it was hard considering he was wearing a tight shirt hugging his body perfectly and his hair disheveled. With a sudden confidence, you walked closer to him and stood in between his legs and he immediately looked up at you with confusion. If you didn’t have any alcohol in your system you’d never be this forward but with it you could actually do something you actually want for once. You placed your hands on his shoulders as his hands went over to your hips. He was still wary of your reaction but you threw every sane thought away and pushed him onto the bed he was sitting on. He pulled you with him so now you were straddling him, both of you were shocked by your sudden boldness but he didn’t complain. In fact, he never said anything but sat up properly holding you down and started devouring your lips. You kissed back immediately with months of pent up frustration and infatuation.

“You’re so perfect.” he complimented you as his lips found your neck kissing and sucking on your skin. You felt electricity from his touch and cursed yourself for not doing this earlier.

By this time he was slowly pulling your dress straps down your arms and continued his kisses against your chest and you hastily lifted his shirt finally coming in close contact with his abs.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.” he murmured as he rolled you over so he was on top of you.

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked.

“Because I thought you’d slap me.”

“I’d much rather if you slapped me.” you said without thinking and his eyes turned even darker if that’s possible. His movements became more rough as you gave him the permission and he peeled your dress down your legs leaving you only in your underwear. You’d normally feel vulnerable and exposed if it was any other man but given the circumstances you just felt hot because Declan told you a million times.

“You’re so beautiful.” he kept telling you as you tried reaching for his belt. He let you take it off and now you were both in your underwear.

He did everything right in that moment, making you reach your orgasm multiple times even before he entered you and made everything about making you feel good. Even if it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex with him, it felt like he knew you better than anyone and you loved the feeling.

After both of you reached your highs moaning each other’s name once more he finally pulled out and laid on the bed pulling you to him. Your head was resting on his chest as he played with your hair occasionally leaving small kisses on it.

“I hope you know I meant everything I said.” he whispered and you looked up at his beautiful eyes knowing he wasn’t lying.

“I know.”

“And I’m not letting you go now that I have a taste.” he smiled.

“Does this mean this isn’t a one time thing?” you teased with a smile on your lips.

“Oh definitely not, in fact I was thinking about having a second round right now.” he wiggled his eyebrows as you laughed and lightly smacked his chest.

“Are you guys cool now that you’ve had sex?” you heard someone yell from outside of the door startling the both of you.

“What the hell?” Dec asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah idiots, we locked you in there hoping you’d talk it out but this is even better.” you heard Ariana yell and your cheeks flushed knowing they must’ve heard somethings but right now you were more thankful than angry.

“Now come out we’re starving.” one of your friends said and you got out of the bed putting your clothes back on with a smile on your face.

Declan Rice wasn’t that bad after all.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Our Secret Pt.2

sooo i’m starting to write before the poll is over hope the result stays the same lol

also thank you for not giving up on me💕

you can read part one here

————

pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N x Fermin Lopez

summary: you are Pedri’s girlfriend and know his friends, one of them being Fermin. It doesn’t look like he likes you very much but what if he likes you too much?

genre: angst

————

That night after Fermin dropped you at your place you had a weird feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place, you didn’t do anything wrong, you kept reminding yourself. Fermin is literally Pedri’s friend, he was just doing you a favor and you’re mad at Pedri because he left you alone, that’s it.

After taking a much needed shower to clear your thoughts you laid on your bed hoping to sleep quickly but unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky and had trouble falling asleep. You felt upset about Pedri’s behavior at the party and suddenly realized all the other times he made you feel uneasy in public, there were times he didn’t feel comfortable being seen with you because you weren’t official yet and that’s understandable given the fact that he’s insanely famous but a part of you felt like you shouldn’t be hidden no matter what. The more you thought about it, the sadder you felt but finally, you felt your eyes closing.

The next morning you woke up a little late and with a headache, great, you thought. You found your phone in between your sheets and looked at missed notifications secretly hoping to see a good morning text from Pedri but there was something else. An unsaved number texted you at 8.32 am

Hey, good morning! Hope you’re okay and don’t have a headache or stomachache, I think eating McDonald’s that late was a mistake 😅

You immediately realized it was Fermin and your heart warmed with his thoughtful words, he didn’t have to text you or check up on you but still did it while your boyfriend couldn’t even bother asking if you went home okay. It’s not like he was asleep because you knew for a fact he had practice this morning so he had to be up. You decided not to let it get to you and started typing.

Hey thank you so much for everything, I don’t know how I’d survive last night without you! And yes the nuggets definitely were a mistake lol, hope you’re okay too

You reread the text trying to make sure it’s not weird but why would it be weird, it’s just two friends checking up on each other even though you didn’t even know he had your number before today. He could’ve easily got it from Pedri, right?

Fermin didn’t text you back after that and you thought maybe it’s for the best but you also didn’t hear from Pedri until well into the afternoon when he called.

“Hey” he smiled softly like he wasn’t black out drunk last night

“Hey” you said with slight coldness in your voice but you weren’t doing it on purpose.

“Are we still on for tonight?” he asked without even mentioning anything about the previous night’s events and you were kind of taken aback.

“What’s tonight?”

“We have that charity event, remember, I told you a week ago.” you suddenly remembered him asking you to accompany him to this fancy event.

At first you were thrilled with the idea thinking this may be the night you make your relationship official but he quickly shut the idea down by telling you he’d pose for the cameras out front and meet up with you once the auction starts. You were less excited now but still said yes and forgot about it all till now.

“Oh yeah, sure we’re still going. How are you planning on going there?”

“The boys and I were thinking about getting a limo, can you take an Uber and meet me there?”

“Do you not want me in the limo?” you asked shocked by how inconsiderate he was being. First he hides you from the world and now he wants you to step in an Uber with a fancy looking dress and ride there alone.

“No of course not, you can come get ready at mine then. I’ll be at the house by five.”

“You know what, I’ll find my own way Pedri. You don’t have to worry about me, not that you care.” you said and ended the call feeling agitated.

He tried calling you a few more times but you didn’t pick up, you even considered turning your phone off and not showing up but wanted to have a nice night with him, maybe this could solve your issues.

You started getting ready for the event, trying on 2 different dresses. One was an off the shoulder black silk maxi dress and the other was a dark red spaghetti strap maxi dress with a wide slit on the side and a corset as a top. You took mirror selfies with both dresses and sent it to your best friend who was on top of your messages app and started on your makeup as you waited for an answer. Your phone pinged not long after and you picked it up expecting it to be Elena but was shocked to see Fermin’s name on the screen. You remembered saving his number in the morning. He sent you a single text.

Definitely the red one

Your cheeks heat up immediately realizing your mistake, you sent the photos to Fermin instead of Elena because he was the last person you texted.

I’m so sorry, it was meant for someone else lol

You wrote back but made a mental note to wear the red dress, maybe it was that much better. You anxiously waited an answer from Fermin but it never came and you felt stupid, did he think you did it on purpose or was he being the cold and stoic Fermin you know again? You felt like you managed to make him open up more and made progress in your friendship and would hate if he went back to being distant. You thought about what can you text him that would make him answer but before you could find something your phone started ringing.

Fermin Lopez

You picked it up slightly nervous.

“Hey”

“Hey, are you not riding with everyone else to the venue?” he asked straight away without even asking how you were.

“No, um, I’ll go straight from my place so…” you drifted off not knowing how to explain why you weren’t going with your boyfriend.

“Are you ready?”

“Well, I’ll probably be ready in 15.” you looked at yourself in the mirror, you had the dress on and your makeup was almost done.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up then.” he suggested but his voice was so neutral you couldn’t understand any emotion behind it.

“What? Fermin you don’t ha…”

“I’m on my way Y/N. I’ll text you once I’m outside.” he said and hung up before you could even reply.

You stood there for a few moments trying to understand what just happened, why was Fermin this interested in how you’ll arrive at the venue or how you’re doing and more importantly, why wasn’t Pedri?

You decided to push these thoughts away and put on your accessories for the night but was a little too slow because Fermin already texted you before you could put everything on. You told him you need 5 more minutes and he was welcome to wait in your living room whilst you finish up and he soon rang the doorbell.

You opened the door revealing Fermin in a suit, this was the first time you’ve seen him this formal and admittedly, he looked nice. Actually he looked so good that you had to tear your eyes away from him but he didn’t look like he noticed, he was too busy looking at your figure with wide eyes. This may be the longest he’s ever looked your way but once you made proper eye contact, he immediately looked away.

“Hi” you smiled and hugged him softly, kissing one of his cheeks. He smiled at you and placed his hand on your waist careful not to put it too low. It felt more like a fancy first date than two friends carpooling to a charity event where your boyfriend was waiting for you and the thought made your stomach turn. There was something about Fermin that you couldn’t understand, he was never inappropriate or weird with you but you couldn’t help but feel something and that something scared the living shit out of you.

“You look amazing, told you this was the best dress.” he shyly said and your cheeks turned red with his compliment, you knew he preferred this dress but it was also your favorite. You didn’t wear it for him.

“So do you.” you replied and it was his turn to have reddened cheeks. He looked down at his shoes and didn’t look back up until you spoke again.

“Let me put on my shoes and we can go.”

You went into your shoe closet and picked out the nude heels you had in mind. They weren’t too high but still elevated your look. You dropped them in front of your door and tried getting in them but struggled because of your dress hugging your body tightly, Fermin soon noticed your uncomfortable state.

“Here, let me help you” he didn’t even let you reply and kneeled down in front of you to help you step into your shoes and buckle them, he did one foot and lightly tapped your calf for you to hold the other one. His one hand on behind your calf steadied you while the other helped you and you were standing so close that you could feel his breath on your exposed leg which made you shiver. You placed one hand on his shoulder and he looked up at you, his eyes were filled with yet another emotion but this time you knew it wasn’t something like sadness or anger, it was pure lust and you hated that you also had the same look on your face.

He slowly rose to his feet but you didn’t let go of his shoulder, you felt glued to him at that moment. Fermin must have felt the same because he stood so close to you that your noses nearly touched and he made no effort to pull back, you knew better you really did, you should’ve taken a step back thank him for helping you and go to the event but Fermin had other plans.

He suddenly closed the gap between you two and pressed his lips onto yours in a hasty manner like he had to do it, he did it so urgently as if he needed you and you couldn’t help but move your lips with his placing your hand on the back of his neck. Your judgement was too clouded to stop as he walked you back into your living room without breaking the kiss, he only stopped when your back hit the wall and a soft moan escaped your lips.

“Fermin” you mewled as he was moving his hands all around your body and on your exposed leg.

He pulled back slightly, your foreheads still touching and both of you panting. His eyes opened for the first time since he kissed you and looked straight into your soul.

“Fermin” you whispered this time not even sure if you were asking him to stop or carry on.

“Y/N, I want this. I want this so fucking much but if you don’t, I can get out of here now and we can pretend this never happened. I’ll never bother you again.” he softly said and you were surprised at how calm he was talking contrary to how passionate he was being mere seconds ago.

You closed your eyes to try to slow your heartbeat down, your whole body was shaking a little. You tried to think but all you could think about was his lips and hands on you.

You stood there for a moment before leaning in again and he happily accepted your advances telling you to jump and you obliged not caring about anything else in the world other than Fermin. He was making you feel that alive.

“God, you’re perfect” he said while carrying you to your room and kissing every inch of skin he could find.

“Just make me feel good” you begged him and he nodded eagerly. He was going to do just that.

[digitaldiarystuff]

you can find the part one here

[digitaldiarystuff]

bestie i can’t with the angst anymore 😭😭 you better write some happy fluff for pedri as an apology for the ending of false hope 😂🤚🏻😭

aww i know i’ve been unfair to our baby pedrito but idk there’s something about him that makes me write angst like there’s no tomorrow also i’m not sure about a happy ending but i’ll do my best😅

[digitaldiarystuff]

Jealous

it’s me again yayyy thank you so much for the request hope you enjoy it i added some elements hope that’s okay💖

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request: Heyy! I think angst reader x arda guler will be good. But ended up with fluff. Since you know... He doesn't get enough time/chance to play in real madrid...

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pairing: Arda Güler x Y/N

summary: Arda knows about you having a crush on Dominik long before you even met but after the loss against Hungary he feels jealousy creeping

genre: angst to fluff

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You stood there in your seat after the game ended waiting for your boyfriend Arda to text you. Türkiye had a game against Hungary tonight and you decided to surprise and support him but things went downhill after Szoboszlai scored a penalty and the score remained like that throughout the game. You felt bad knowing Arda would be upset about the outcome and thought about ways to cheer him on once you went back to his hotel room. You were thinking about watching a movie and eating takeout when he texted you saying he’d meet you at the car park.

You thought it was strange he didn’t ask you to come down to the tunnel to meet but just figured he wanted to get out as soon as possible and replied with a simple okay making your way out. Once you reached your car he was a few rows down waiting texting on his phone.

“Hey” you timidly said not knowing how to approach the situation, he was already having a hard time at Madrid with how little he was playing and now he’d lost a game for his country and you knew he’d feel bad for it. You also weren’t dating for too long so you felt weird about the situation.

“Hi” he simply said and continued texting.

You shyly reached over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso still thinking his bad mood was all about the result and wanted nothing more than to console him but he didn’t return the hug straight away like he usually does so you pulled back with a frown.

“I know this wasn’t the outcome you hoped for but you played incredible Arda and I want you to know I’m so proud of you.” you said with a little smile but he avoided eye contact with you which made you frown deeper.

“Is something wrong?” you asked and he lifted one eyebrow like ‘are you serious’ “I mean is there something else wrong? Did I do something?”

“I don’t know. Are you more proud of him than me?”

You were completely taken aback with his question, you couldn’t even register who he was talking about.

“Who?”

“Who do you think?” he asked trying to see if your mind would go to Dominik immediately but it didn’t.

“Arda I seriously don’t know what yo… Are you talking about Dominik?” you asked finally realizing what your boyfriend was saying.

This happened a few weeks ago when one of your closest friends met Arda for the first time and being as inappropriate as she is she mentioned your years long crush on one of the Liverpool players.

“I always thought your boyfriend would have black hair, that’s your type isn’t it?” she asked while being drunk and you tried shushing her as politely as you can but she was far past the point that she could sense your uneasiness and continued.

“You know like that guy Szo- Sozobol- ugh what was it?”

“Szoboszlai?” Arda asked clearly intrigued by the conversation.

“Yesss! That’s the one she’s been obsessed with for years, she even had him on the background of her phone.” your friend continued laughing telling your boyfriend about your stupid high school fangirl crush embarrassing you utterly.

“So… Dominik Szoboszlai?” Arda asked once you were in bed that night. You covered your face with your hands when you felt your cheeks heat up with shame.

“I’m so sorry about it, she was just drunk out of her mind.” you tried excusing your friend’s behavior but couldn’t deny it was true, because it pretty much was.

“So you had him as wallpaper?”

“This is embarrassing. Please stop talking.” you begged but he continued interrogating you both to mess with you and try to understand how big was your crush but he ended up dropping the subject because it was obviously a silly celebrity crush which holds no value over your real relationship.

This was until tonight.

“So you know who I’m talking about.”

“Arda, you know that was a stupid little crush back in the day. It means nothing.” you tried reassuring him but he seemed really annoyed and this was so out of character you didn’t know how to approach it. But even though you tried your best to explain it doesn’t mean anything, he seemed convinced otherwise.

“Are you here just to see him play?” he asked and your eyes found his in shock.

“What? Do you seriously think that?” you took a step back feeling dizzy, what the hell was he accusing you of?

“No of course not…” he tried reaching for you but you held your hand up preventing him from getting closer to you. You couldn’t even understand his reaction as you were really falling in love with him and just wanted to support him. You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

“Y/N I’m sorry, I just…”

“You really hurt me Arda, I think it’s best if we spend the night apart.” you whispered turning back and walking towards your car but heard footsteps behind you.

“Y/N please talk to me.” he pleaded but you kept on walking.

“Y/N!” he shouted and you stopped dead in your tracks.

“I don’t want to talk to you, I’m not the reason you lost and I’m certainly not going to take the blame for something I didn’t do. If you’re this pressed about something that happened long before we met it’s a you problem. I need some time to cool off and think. Please don’t follow me.” you said in one breath and hopped in your car not even knowing where to go.

You typed in hotels and found one in the area hoping that there was an empty room and luckily, there was. You pulled your suitcase out and put on your pajamas leaving them on the counter and hopped in the shower to think more clearly when you heard a knock on the door.

Panicking, you stepped out of the shower and put on your clothes trying not to freak out too much and asked who was there.

“It’s me” you heard Arda’s voice and immediately relaxed, you didn’t even have time to think how he found you and opened the door to reveal a disheveled looking Arda standing there.

“I was so worried.” he said and pulled you in a hasty embrace. You stumbled a little but he kept you balanced. As much as you were upset with him, you felt so much more relaxed when he’s with you and leaned into him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” he repeated and pressed feather like kisses all over your face and head while sitting you both down on the bed.

“I was so wrong, I know that and I know I don’t deserve you right now but I felt insecure and took it out on you. I thought you’d be more impressed by him and felt so little.” he explained and you finally understood his weird behavior all night, even though it wasn’t okay at all.

“Arda you need to tell me what’s bothering you if we want this to work.”

“I want this to work so much and I’ll do anything.” he cut you off and you smiled a little which made him also smile. He was looking into your eyes with so much intensity you felt vulnerable under his gaze but you also knew he was being genuine and trying his best.

“I love you.” he finally said and this was a first in your relationship so you were caught off guard and didn’t know how to react.

“It’s completely fine if you don’t feel comfortable enough to say it back, I swear it’s okay I just wanted you to know…” he started rambling and you cut him off with an emotional kiss. He stumbled back a little but quickly reciprocated and pulled you to his lap deepening the kiss.

“I love you too.” you smiled as you pulled back to breathe but your noses were still touching and he smiled too.

Maybe this wasn’t the best night in your relationship but it’s definitely the best moment

————

i don’t know how i feel about it, i think it’s kinda cute but ughhh hope you like it please tell me you do lol if not i’m open to criticism as well🥹

[digitaldiarystuff]

False Hope Pt.3

so… i’m kinda back, well i at least hope so after ditching the blog completely lol

i’ll try to be a little more active starting with some requests after this, please don’t hate me 🥺

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pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

summary: you’re close friends with Pedri and pretty much in love with him, pretending you’re not you went to comfort him but he seeks the comfort in a different way than you would’ve expected

genre: suggestive but not quite, angst

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“I’m outside, come out”

Your eyes scanned the text a million times just to make sure it was real and you weren’t actually dreaming. It was only when James reached over and touched your cheek that you came back to your senses.

“Is everything alright?” he asked concerned and you looked up at him with terror in your eyes.

Your mind was so full that you couldn’t even comprehend the situation, why was Pedri here? Did he check your location to find out where you were? Was the black Porsche his? And most importantly, what are you going to do now?

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just my friend, she reminded me of a quiz we have tomorrow.” that was the first lie you could come up with.

“Do you have to get back home?” James asked with slight disappointment.

You looked at your phone once more and up at him, Pedri has occupied your mind for years at this point and gave you false hope that there may be something more between you two but that had to end. You knew if you decide to walk out now, you’d be stuck in the same cycle you always have and wait for him to finally pick you, but you deserve more. You were moving on and choosing your own happiness over his.

“No no, I’m not going anywhere.” you smiled hoping he’d buy your lie and didn’t question it too much and judging by his mood change he ate it up.

You placed your phone back into your purse also shutting it off hoping Pedri would realize you weren’t going to respond and leave quickly because you knew if he’d send you any more texts it’d be over.

Out of sight, out of mind you thought and reached for James’ collar pulling him in. He got the message and quickly started kissing you, you closed your eyes trying your best to enjoy the moment and it was nice. It was good, actually but you couldn’t help but wish it was someone else’s hands finding your hips pulling you into him and pressing sloppy kisses across your neck and cleavage. That’s when you opened your eyes and saw Pedri’s dark eyes instead of James’ and freaked out pulling back immediately.

James looked worried asking you if everything’s okay or if he did something wrong.

“No, no it’s not you. I’m sorry I just need to handle this quiz tomorrow. I have to get home and deal with it.” you apologized knowing you couldn’t go any further with him. Your mind and heart wouldn’t let you knowing Pedri may be out there waiting for you and you hated yourself for it. You even felt like you were cheating on Pedri even though you were not in any sort of relationship, this was stupid but you couldn’t help your feelings.

You apologized to James a couple more times, grabbed your things and left the room in a hurry. You felt bad to leave him high and dry and couldn’t face him anymore. On the way to the lobby you turned your phone on trying to see if Pedri sent any more texts but found none and that made you feel sorry for yourself. You had a great guy trying to give you exactly what you wanted and deserved but still left him hanging just because Pedri sent a single text.

You exited the elevator hurriedly hoping he didn’t leave just yet when you heard his voice. At first you thought you were dreaming and scolded yourself for being this obsessed but soon you realized he was standing at the reception talking to the receptionist.

“And I understand your policy but I need the room number and yes I don’t know the last name but…”

You heard him talking, asking about James’ room number. You didn’t even know he knew the name but Sara probably told them at the club.

“Pedri” you walked over to him and he immediately turned your way his eyes softening as he released a sigh of relief.

“Y/N” he walked over without even glancing back at the receptionist and pulled you in a hug.

“What are you doing here?” you asked apprehensively.

“I came looking for you when you didn’t answer me and she wouldn’t let me look at the guest list. She said it was against hotel policy and I was just telling her the name but she still didn’t tell me anything.” he started rambling but didn’t give you a clear answer.

“That’s not what I’m asking, why are you here Pedri?”

He pulled back possibly realizing you didn’t hug him back and gave him cold shoulder. His eyes were so soft this time.

“I… I just came to check on you.” he shyly said as he looked down at his shoes.

“Why?” you pressed. “I already told Ferran I was good.”

“I know, I just…”

“You just what Pedri?” you raised your voice a little and he warily looked around hoping no one could hear you.

“Can we go out to the car please? Let’s not do this here.” he tried ushering you out but you didn’t budge.

“You can’t stay here.” he said as if he was stating the obvious.

“Why do you care if I stay here or not?”

“Look Y/N, there are people here. Let’s go back to mine and talk there, calmly.” he tried again this time reaching for your arm to pull you but you pulled back from his grip immediately.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Well you’re not staying here.” he firmly stood. You considered your options, you could either go with him and set everything on the table possibly ruining your friendship but no matter what happens you could say you tried or leave on your own getting in a taxi and try to forget this night, fight or flight.

You made up your mind and started walking past Pedri, he took a couple seconds but followed suit. Once you reached the front door of the hotel he caught up with you and opened the car door for you to get in. Even though you were upset with him, you felt a slight sense of warmth with his gesture.

“Do you want to talk now, or we could just wait until we get home.” he offered once you both were settled.

“Let’s talk here.” you coldly replied.

“Okay” he whispered.

“Talk”

“I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t know what to say.” you turned round him and laughed but it didn’t reach your eyes.

“You ignore me and leave the club, then follow me to a hotel where I’m with a guy, text me to come out, try to find my room number to come get me yourself when I don’t and when I’m right in front of you you don’t know what to say. Be so for fucking real Pedri” you started yelling and he put his face in his hands huffing.

“What do you want me to say Y/N?” he asked also raising his voice.

“I want you to be honest for god’s sake!”

“I was worried.” he finally said.

“Why?”

“You just met this guy and you go to a hotel with him, this isn’t you.”

“Oh so it’s okay when you do it but when I do it’s not me.”

“Yes, I know this sounds hypocritical but yes it’s not you.”

“You’re so right. It’s hypocritical.” you sighed and leaned back in your seat.

“I needed to forget, that’s why I came here.” you admitted because you realized he was never going to give you what you’re looking for. You finally accepted the fact that after tonight, Pedri wasn’t going to be a part of your life and you needed to get everything out of your chest.

“Forget what?”

“You” you simply said and closed your eyes afraid of his answer but nothing came out of his mouth.

“Why did you kiss me that day?”

He sighed loudly.

“Because I wanted to.”

You laughed a little.

“I’m serious.”

“No you’re not. You’re never serious Pedro.”

“Pedri” he corrected.

“I don’t think we’re on that basis anymore.” you admitted and his eyes turned to you in shock.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, tonight we say everything we need to and tomorrow we live our lives like we did before we met.”

“No” he started protesting but you held your hand up stopping him.

“I can’t go on like this, Pedri. This has to stop before it’s too late. I can’t wait for you any longer.”

“Y/N it doesn’t have to be like this, we can just go back to our normal ways.”

“You can, I can’t.”

“But I don’t want to let you go.” he whined and you felt your heart breaking, you really didn’t want to cause him any pain but you also couldn’t carry on any longer.

“Do you love me?”

You could easily cut the tension in the car with a knife now, it was dead silent.

“That’s the reason we can’t go back to how it was. Because I love you.” you said without opening your eyes but still felt tears start running. Pedri shuffled in his seat and placed his hand on your cheek wiping the tear away. You couldn’t fight it any longer and leaned into his touch and placed your hand over his.

“I love you too.” he whispered and you opened your eyes to see him staring.

“I know, it’s just not the same kind of love.” you sadly smiled. “It’s okay, I’ll be okay.” you reassured him because as much as you were hurting you never wanted him to.

“But I’m not.”

“It’ll pass.”

He pulled you closer and you leaned over the console to lie on his chest. He kissed your head and you placed your hand on his heart feeling its rhythm. You stayed like that for what felt like hours just holding each other knowing it’s the last time you’ll do it.

As sad as it sounds, you felt more at peace than any other moment.

[digitaldiarystuff]

PLEASE give us part 2 to false hope

it’s upp💖