#how do other people do this kinda memes so fast???

[omorisunflower]

Um, this is my first post ever, so if this looks... not right, you know why xD

Saw this meme a while back and I immediately thought of Sokka, because, let's be serious, that's a pretty ingenious way of making money 🤣🤣🤣

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[therandomfando4]

Hey, so I think I might have figured this code out in the newest Smg4 video, maybe?

Okay, so, this is the original code.

11-12-1-19 2-1-11: 2

First, I changed the numbers into letters by using the alphabet. 1 being A, 2 being B, 3 being C, and so on. Which gave me this:

K L A S B A K B

Which confused me until I changed two letters around. Making this.

K L B S B A K A

Swapped 2 & 1

11-12-2-19 2-1-11: 1

I immediately tied this to Smg3 as he says "Baka," a fair bit in Smg4. But I wasn't convinced it meant anything until I figured out that almost all of the numbers were doubled except for 12 & 19.

I figured 12 out pretty fast. But 19 took me a while to figure out. With 12, I remembered something about the number being in the 3 timetables, and that it was the 4th number.

3 × 4 = 12

34..

When I figured this out, I was still doubtful. Since I knew the creatives on the show sometimes fuel the ship, why is it being hidden like as though it's important? On a classified document, and with Mr. Puzzles?

So I just thought it was some kind of coincidence and that it was something deeper or that the code ultimately meant nothing and that I was just wasting my time on it. Besides, 19 didn't mean anything, right?

Yes and no.

I was right about the number itself, not meaning anything until I used additions.

What two numbers made up 19?

9 + 10..

After seeing those two numbers, I instantly thought of a certain meme.

Now it was 21.. I searched up what time tables could go into 21, the two numbers being 3 and 7.

3 × 7 = 21

I first thought about the number 3, which I realised was kinda stupid of me once I remembered the numbers that made up 7 were 3 and 4.

3 + 4 = 7

Either these somehow are 3 coincidences, or really is about Smg34.

Now, unless there is more that I'm missing in this code. I have a few guesses. (If anyone can think of anything else, I'd love to know.)

The classified document is most likely an image or YouTube thumbnail.

If it's a thumbnail, I believe it could be either:

A. Wotfi 2023

This one is because Mr. Puzzles had a YouTube thumbnail of the Puzzlevision movie, and I was thinking about how wotfi 2023 was the last big event before Puzzlevision. As well as Smg3 and Smg4 being the highlighted characters in it.

B. Snowtrapped..

Okay.. I know it has been milked to death by people submitting it for the Wotfi 2024 challenges. But, I feel like it could explain why it's in the document and considered classified. I'm not a fan of this one.

C. A thumbnail for a future episode.

Idk if it would make sense, but eh.. it could be cool.

Now, just some or one of the images that could be in the document.

A. Smg3's notebook.

An image of it or the physical book itself.

B. The drawing at the end of Smg3's notebook

Because it's still a secret to everyone that Smg3 drew a picture of him and Smg4 hanging out together.

C. An image of Smg3 and 4 hanging out or doing something that would be considered gay. Something that would embarrass Smg3 and/ or 4 probably.

Either way, if none of these options are right, I'm hoping we actually get to see what's in the document or that the code is foreshadowing something.

I also used pager codes mixed with the baka I found before. I found these sentences, but I don't know if the creatives behind Smg4 meant for someone to use pager codes.

Swapped 2 & 1

(11)-(12-2)-(21) 2-1-11:1

K L B U B A K A

You. I want you. Home. Baka.

Swapped 2 & 1

(11)-(12-2)-(19) 2-1-11:1

K L B U  B A K A

You. I want you. Yes. Baka.

Or

You. I want you. Hug. Baka.

As I said, I have no idea if the pager codes were planned or coincidental.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I'd like to hear what other people think about my findings. And if others have found anything of their own.

This took me a while. If I find out this was a waste of time, I'm going to be so upset. /hj

Have a good one, guys.

[tothegirlwiththemousyhair]

Worries

Wade Wilson x Reader <3

Reader is panicking about Wade while he's out on a mission even though he's literally immortal.

Themes: Fluff, comfort, pure tooth-rotting sweetness.

Word count: 881

Wade had spent most of the day out of the house, it isn’t weird at all for him, but what’s weird is that he hasn’t sent you a text this entire time. He was out on a couple of low-effort missions, his favourite time to send you dumb selfies or opinions about what’s going on. Memes, bad outfits, a bad guy cowering in fear, anything that could make you laugh was sent but not today.

You assumed that maybe the mission was more difficult than Wade thought, someone found a way to murder him, there’s no signal, he’s just busy… etc. You definitely weren’t slightly worrying about him. Definitely. “Whaaaat? Meee? Why wouldn’t I be!” were your specific words to Logan when he walked into the kitchen and asked if you were alright because you were staring into your phone aimlessly.. He gave you your space and went back to what he was doing (I love Logan, but this is a Wade fic.) 

The downward spiral you were stuck in kept advancing and pretty rapidly. In an attempt to calm down your panicking state, you curled up into a ball in the corner of your couch, and watched your favourite show. 30 minutes passed by and you realised you missed a lot of the plot because your mind tuned the show out, and instead spent that time thinking “What if someone actually did find a way to kill him? What if he couldn’t heal fast enough? What if he’s just stuck on a tree trunk somewhere in the forest like a shawarma?”. You knew it wasn’t all that likely to happen, but it’s human instinct to worry about someone being stabbed... or skewered. Especially if you love them.

Inbetween all that worrying, you fell asleep on the couch. Hours pass, and Wade comes home wrecked but the adorable sight of you curled up on the couch definitely compensated for it. He snuck over to the bathroom silently, dumping all of his gear into the “hero-suit hamper”, something you insisted on after 'bad guy blood' got on your cutest pjs. He took a quick shower, getting all of the grime of the day off of him (mostly other people’s blood.) If it was up to him he’d just change into pjs and worry about showering in the morning, but he knows you have a different standard for hygiene.

He finishes showering and he heads over to the living room where you’re still asleep. There’s a moment of silence where he’s just admiring you and then realises that this is most definitely not the most comfortable sleeping position. He scoops you up, resting your head in the crook of his neck. You stir awake for a moment, “Wade? Heyy you’re backkk”, then press a barely-there kiss to his jaw. You go back to your sleeping state, definitely a lot calmer now that you’re sure nobody murdered your boyfriend.

When you wake up in the morning, there’s a slightly concerned Wade Wilson sitting at your side. “Honey, why were you panicking yesterday? Logan kinda told on you btw” Oh fuck now you have to deal with telling him and you’re going to sound delusional and- “Baby? You ok over there?” He interrupted your state of panic because your silence combined with the face you were making were very obviously at least a tiny bit panicked. “Ok so… I went into a bit of a downward spiral thinking about how maybe someone figured out a way to kill you. I know it’s very impractical and it’s silly to even consider, but I mean what if you don’t heal in time, or they cut you up and put the pieces of you really far apart?”

“It’s always great to hear that you’ve been thinking of all the ways to get rid of me honey, but I really doubt that’ll happen. Also it’s fairly hard, I’d know! I tried!” He replies, trying to get you out of this loop of horrid thoughts. “Wade, all that does is remind me that you were suicidal.” You snuggled closer to him, trying to feel that he’s still there. “Were! Past tense! It’s a very important tense how would we speak withou-” you interrupt him holding his lips shut with the tips of your fingers. “I’m just worried because you can be careless sometimes, alright? I know I sound insane.”

He pries his mouth out of the smushed-shut position you had it in, “First of all, you don’t sound insane, you sound very caring and I think that’s sooo cuteee." He presses a small kiss to your forehead. "Second of all, I promise to be a bit more cautious in missions for your sake, alright?” You cuddle into his chest, your head in the nook of his neck similar to last night, and he hears you murmur a small ‘thank you’, his arms naturally wrapping around you to hold you close to him.

There’s an extremely rare moment of completely silent peace between you and Wade, which of course he ruins, “Also if my parts were split and spread, do you think I’d reform into several mes? Like a lizard?” Earning a small chuckle from you.

As annoying as he was, he made your heart swell, and that’s all that mattered.

[ultimate-marysue]

The irony of Zur-En-Arrh (Bruce Wayne's back up personality that's 100% Batman) is that their plan to stop him should not have worked. Like, at all

For those of you who avoided that shitshow, here's a mini summary of what happened: Bruce started to lose it getting more and more influenced by Zur-En-Arrh inside his head, pushing his kids away. Eventually Zur manages to separate and upload himself into Failsafe, a robot created by Bruce to upload his consciousness once his body started to fail due to age so he could continue to be Batman. Bruce, now free, teams up with his kids (who forgive him way too quickly) to take him down because the power of love is stronger than the power of Batman or something.

Up to this point, good. Not a big fan of how they're choosing to put every single time Bruce does something hurtful under "Zur-En-Arrh did it", but I can see where they're going with it. My problem is with their plan to take him down.

The Failsafe body is designed to shut down if you kill someone, so Bruce chooses to sacrifice himself and come back thanks to -and I shit you not- some sort of concentrated Lazarus fluid. Jason of all people decides he should be the one to die since ha has the experience -what is this comic???- so the plan is for Jason to get Zur-En-Arrh to kill him.

That's when the whole meme of Jason being dead for like, two pages, was around because that's exactly what happens: Zur-En-Arrh kills him from one punch, it triggers Failsafe's shutdown protocol, Jason comes back. All the absolute bullshit aside, because we truly don't have the time to unpack all that, it shouldn't have worked.

The reason why Failsafe shuts down if you kill is because of Batman's number one rule: no killing. So you're telling me that Zur-En-Arrh, who's basically 100% Batman, only went like a week or two before straight up killing someone??? Obviously he wouldn't care it was his son because he's 0% Bruce, he would have ruthlessly fought and subdued anyone who stood on his way, no matter how dear to Bruce they were. That's the point of Zur-En-Arrh, no sentimental distractions.

But also, he's 100% Batman, the dude that 100% doesn't kill, the dude with 100% control of the strength and accuracy of his blows so he doesn't kill someone, not even on accident. How could he be so easily baited into punching Jason hard enough to kill him? Does Jason suddenly have metahuman abilities to super annoy people??? And he doesn't question why Mr "I don't kill, not even the Joker" is okay with bashing his skull in in just one blow??

I would sort of take it if they put the effort into showing how they tricked him to turn a regular blow into a lethal one, that could have been interesting. Maybe Bruce tries it and can't get it right and Jason takes the blow because he's the one that gets the opportunity. That way he's not just offering himself as a sacrificial lamb just for funsies, he's actually making a heroic sacrifice to end the fight before someone else gets hurt instead of letting it drag until Bruce finds his opening. You could have more tension of whether they're gonna be fast enough with the Lazarus fluid, maybe the other Robin's need to play catch with the vial while avoiding the other bad guys to get to him on time. But I digress, the important part is fucking consistency.

Either show that Zur-En-Arrh is whiling to kill before jumping inside Failsafe (which would be hard, because why wouldn't he uninstall the shut down protocol?), or make sure you the challenge of tricking Batman into accidentally killing someone comes through. Because you're kinda implying that Batman would kill if he had no feelings and that's just... completely against the character. If anything the comics show that Batman needs to overcome his emotions to avoid killing Joker.

This is the central point to defeating your enemy. It is based on the idea that Batman designed his failsafe to short circuit if he killed someone. And they don't do anything to explain or justify Batman breaking his one rule whether on purpose or accident. It just happens because it has to happen and "how cool is it that we outsmarted him?". It's not earned and much like a lot of this run, is not satisfactory (to me, if you're cool with it genuinely good for you, wish that was me)

Even if Not Killing came from Bruce's emotionality, it would be included into the Batman personality. There's plenty to Batman that comes from Bruce's emotions, and Zur-En-Arrh puts people into jail. It's not like they've Established him having a murderous streak. If he were completely clinical about it he would never willingly kill and, with his ability and understanding of the human body, tricking him into killing without making it obvious that that's what you're doing would be an absolute feat worthy of getting the whole Batfam together.

It wouldn't have made me like the idea of the story. It still relies on everyone forgiving him super quickly, Deux ex Lazarus and a lot of other contrivances; but at least it wouldn't contradict Batman's number one rule. I'm not asking for character consistency, good writing or even continuity, I'm just begging you to understand the single most basic thing about the character.

[starlitangels]

Redacted Boi Social Media Headcanons

Vincent only really uses Instagram, but is required by the Department to have it private because his human name is legally missing-presumed-dead and his face has a risk of being recognized if someone from his human life stumbled upon his Instagram. That said, he doesn't really screen people who request to follow him

Darlin' and Sam don't use any social medias. Darlin' has a Facebook from teenage years, but they deactivated it. But not fully deleted, so they can still be tagged in all the group photos posted to the pack page. In high school, Darlin' was the person who got a lot of unsolicited DMs because they were hot but they hate attention so they blocked everyone but their pack and deactivated. Darlin' reluctantly keeps their Discord for the pack server

David hates social media. He maintains the pack's private Facebook group and Discord server (though the latter is really more Asher's job, David's just in charge) but will not touch anything else. David's favorite social media is YouTube because he can lookup tutorials for anything and not have to ask anyone for help

Milo's a borderline Instagram influencer. He's got a gazillion followers (who all think he's hot, and he is). His Instagram is directly linked to his Facebook, so every picture and caption he puts on IG gets automatically posted to FB too

Marie comments only on Milo's Facebook (she has and kinda uses IG, but doesn't comment). She's the one that will leave the heartfelt comments with "Call me" at the end. She knows that's a meme among younger people that their older relatives leave "what a beautiful couple. Call me" comments, but she does it anyway. And guess what? She does it because it works. Milo👏 is👏a👏Mama's👏Boy👏 and he will call her when she leaves those comments

Asher doesn't use social media much, but is perpetually on Discord. He mods the pack's server, and like 6 others just for fun. He does post lots of pictures of Babe and selfies of the two of them together on the pack's Facebook though

Damien used to get into arguments on Twitter with randos. Huxley thinks it's funny to pull them up from when Damien was a teenager

Huxley was never much into most social medias but I like to think he'd be like that one TikTok dude who pops up on my Tumblr dash occasionally who explains how to do calisthenics and other workout stuff in a really simple, easy, modified way for people who are just getting started. People started following him because he's hot, and then realized he's actually like the nicest dude and doesn't know he's popular

Lasko's a Tumblr boy. I'm not taking constructive criticism on this

Gavin refuses to get an Instagram because he knows he'd get too addicted to it. He knows he's ridiculously good-looking and would amass a following supernaturally fast, and that's why he won't. But he has his old Facebook from when it first started to be popular. He got rid of all his old friends list and now just has Freelancer, Huxley, Lasko, Damien, and a handful of d(a)emon friends who also have Facebooks like Crux

Avior doesn't have any social media at all

Neither does Caelum and Gavin and Freelancer have decided not to expose him to the negativity of the internet

Vega refuses

Cam keeps a few things for professional purposes, but doesn't use them much

Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is

Aaron's favorite is LinkedIn. This is a joke.

Elliott uses Pinterest a lot for aesthetic inspiration for dreams. He doesn't use much else

Blake is on like every social media all the time. Mostly for CloseKnit. But he also stalked Bestie from afar for a long time

James had to get rid of all of his when his job started getting more secretive and he had to have limited contact with the rest of the world

Morgan doesn't have any social media just as a way to keep himself and his magic safe. The Department protections didn't require it, but he thought it was for the best

Porter totally isn't jealous that Vincent has a higher IG follower count than him and his account isn't even private. He's always trailing like 20 behind

[changbinsboiledegg]

The reader being quiet during sex was so sweet and cute and I liked it because some ppl are just not talkative during sex and that's okay.

However!

Can I please request how the members of Stray Kids be like when the reader is loud, whiney and loves dirty talk?

Thank you!

Hi hi! Thank you for the compliments! I honestly get why some people are loud and some are quiet. Both perfectly normal! Also thank you for your request & this meme. I will be committing theft of this bc San is bias wrecking me lately. :) 🫶 onwards to your request lmao.

AFAB! Reader X SKZ.

MDNI!!!! (bc one warning will suffice, I hope.)

Warnings: Oh boy. SMUT, obvi. Dirty talk, obvi pt 2. Swearing, usage of the word 'dick', 'cock' (bc I got over myself but only once.) and 'p*ssy', protected or unprotected fucc (not specified), fingering, idk why I keep making Minho a dom in these, oral (fem receiving), riding, wet dream mention, shower fucc, groping, blowjob, what's it called when you both m*sturbate each other? bc there's that too, rough seggs? kinda?

Note: Lmaooo I'm not good at dirty talk but I tried!!! so in advance, I'm sorry if some of the dialogue is cringe :'((( I also tried to keep it different scenarios, idk why reader is getting fingered so much, my fault. Anyways, if no one told you today, ilyyyyy and I hope you enjoy! Also, :)))) MDNI.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Chan

“I really need you inside of you.”

That was all you had to say to set him off. His night was booked the moment those words were whispered in his ear.

“Fuck! Right there! Ah!” You whined, pinned against the wall with Chan’s fingertips digging into your hips as he took you rather roughly.

“You like that? Like when I fuck you?” Chan huskily spoke close to your ear, thrusting deeper.

“Fuck yes! Fuck me! Harder!” You vocalized in loud whimpers, feeling your legs tighten around his waist as he relentlessly thrusted harder as per your request.

“So good. So fucking tight.” He muttered through grit teeth, feeling and enjoying the way your body shook from the pleasure coursing through you.

“I can feel you stretching me out.” You trembled, your mouth hanging open. Chan pressed his lips hungrily against your neck, sucking on the skin between his teeth.

“Ah, you’re so tight that it’s gripping my cock.” Chan mumbled, listening to your desperate and needy whines as he pounded into you.

Lee Know

“I can’t stop thinking about how wet you get for me.” Minho whispered, spreading your legs as he tugged your dampened panties off and leaving you exposed.

“Stop thinking and feel how wet I am for you.” You expected him to unbutton his jeans and stick his hard dick inside of you.

But he didn’t. Instead, he pressed his hand over your wet pussy and felt around, collecting some of your wetness on his fingertips.

He rubbed and lightly tapped your clit before slipping his fingers inside of you.

“Hmm, I’ve always wanted to feel your fingers fucking me.” You moaned, using one hand to grip one of your legs while the other lay idly on your breast.

Minho smirked at your words, how you reacted, and thrusted his fingers in and out of your wet hole, making a beckoning motion as you whined and rocked your hips.

“Fuck! I’m going to cum!” You were loud and honest, feeling your stomach tighten. Minho pulled his fingers out before you could find release and unzipped his pants.

“You will cum on my dick. Understand?”

Changbin

“How fast do you think I can make you cum?” Changbin asked, pulling your hips towards his face.

You looked at him and admired how eager he looked at he prepared to eat you out.

“Knowing you, I’d say a minute.” You released a shaky breath, feeling the sexual tension building up inside of you as he licked his lips, staring directly at your glistening pussy.

He started off with licks and soft sucking, earning whining from you.

“You don’t know how badly I needed your tongue on my pussy.” You shuddered, trying to keep your legs spread for him but the urge to squeeze his head with your thighs was overwhelming. He was eating you out so good that you couldn’t help yourself.

“You taste so good.” Changbin mumbled against your pussy, sucking on your sensitive clit and slipping two of his fingers inside of you.

“Fuck, fuck, don’t stop. I’m going to cum on your tongue!” You whined loudly, writhing a bit before he held you down with his free hand and continued to eat you out and finger you.

Hyunjin

“I missed having you between my legs.” You commented, sinking down on his dick and feeling him fill you up.

“I missed watching you ride me like this.” Hyunjin breathed out, groping and rubbing your body as you started off slow, adjusting to his dick after so long of not having him inside of you.

“I missed riding you.” You chuckled, biting your lip as you sank down deeper before raising your hips up.

“Fuck, you’re making me miss you already.” Hyunjin groaned. You let out a shuddering whine as you picked up speed, bouncing on his dick and throwing your head back.

“Holy shit! You feel so fucking good!” You gripped his shoulders, making eye contact.

“You’re so going to miss how good I’m fucking you right now.” You moaned out, not caring how loud you were being. Hyunjin groaned, gripping your hips tightly.

“I’m going to miss it so bad while I’m away.” Hyunjin guided you up and down his length rhythmically, bringing you closer to the edge.

Han

“I had a dream about you and now I really need to fuck you.” Jisung wrapped his arms around you from behind as he said this.

“Oh yeah?” You teased, pressing your ass against his erection. “How bad do you need to fuck me?”

“So bad.” Jisung kissed your neck, slowly grinding against you. You checked the time and shrugged.

“Then fuck me.” You challenged. Within a minute, he had you bent over the bathroom sink, your face pressed against the mirror as your moans, loud whining fogged the mirror.

“This is better than my dream.” Jisung slammed his hips against yours. “So tight and wet and needy, just like that baby.”

You whimpered as your walls throbbed and clenched around his pounding dick. “I know you’ll always fuck me so good. Leaves me wanting more.”

You gripped the edges of the sink, your legs shaking but you were feeling too good to allow yourself to collapse. Jisung sped up, slamming into you repeatedly.

“Shit, you’re going to make me cum all over this sink!” Your whimpers echoed through the bathroom. Jisung grunted, his dick twitching inside of you.

“Fuck, baby… so tight…”

Felix

“I get so hard when I’m around you.” Felix felt up and down your wet body as the shower ran over both of you.

You slightly swayed your ass, feeling his hard dick against you. “Is that why you joined me in the shower, you naughty boy?”

Felix grinded against you, fondling your body. “Maybe… I also think you’re beautiful when wet.”

His hand snaked down to your clit, rubbing circles. You moaned out, tilting your head back as water poured down your body.

“No. Not today.” You grabbed his hand and turned to face him. He cocked an eyebrows, confused.

You lowered yourself to your knees on the wet floor of the shower and took his dick in your hand.

“I really want to taste you.” You licked a stripe on his shaft, slowly jerking him off as you did. Felix let out a throaty groan, gripping the door of the shower. “Darling… Your lips look so pretty wrapped around my dick.”

You smirked, taking him into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down his length as he turned into a whimpering mess. You pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at him with a gleam in your eye.

“It makes me so wet when you fall apart for me.”

Seungmin

“Are you always this wet?” Seungmin asked, thrusting his fingers inside of you, his eyes dark as he watched your facial expressions.

“Are you always this hard?” You whined, softly gasping at the finger of his fingers working inside of you while your hand was jerking him off at the same speed.

“Only when I see you.” He used his other hand to wrap around your waist and pull you closer, his fingers going deeper.

“Fuck… and you wonder why I’m so wet…” you trembled, a whine escaping your lips as you quickened your hands pace when he quickened his.

“So needy too. I bet if I stopped, you’d cry.” Seungmin teased. You whined loudly, starting to rock your hips against his fingers.

“No! Don’t stop. I need you to make me cum.” You gasped when he went faster, staring directly into your eyes.

“Oh yeah? I need you to cum too.” He spoke lowly, curving and caressing your walls while thrusting. You screamed involuntarily, shaking as you jerked him off just as fast as his movements were.

“Fuck!”

I.N

“I only want one thing and that’s for you to make me scream.” You challenged, crossing your arms.

This entire night, you didn’t expect Jeongin to take your challenge literally. It wasn’t when he reacted to your dirty talking.

But you two were alone and he needed you just as badly as you lead him to believe you needed him.

He pushed your now naked body on the bed and ripped off his clothes before being hovered over you.

“What was it about making you scream?” Jeongin asked, spreading your legs apart. You quivered at the thought of him fulfilling your wish.

“I want you to fuck me until I scream.” You smirked, reaching down to stroke his hard erection. He breathed out, feeling your hand on his dick.

“You’ll be screaming until your throat hurts.” He muttered, guiding himself inside of you. You let out a soft gasp when he first entered, stuffing himself inside of your tight hole.

“I should’ve fucked you sooner today.” You moaned out, earning a smirk from Jeongin, who began moving his hips rhythmically.

“You think?” He gripped your thighs, picking up speed. You gripped the sheets, whimpering. “Oh fuck! Just like that!”

[thesinglesjukebox]

CHAPPELL ROAN - "HOT TO GO!"

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? You all! This wraps up this month's coverage -- see ya in November!

[7.00]

Alfred Soto: Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a sparkling collection of moods and passing desires, best when euphoric. The ballads might have been even stronger had she spelled out their choruses. [7]

Dave Moore: Spelling is fun! [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It's been too long since we've had a "spell the words out with your arms" song in the zeitgeist, and seeing people do the H-O-T-T-O-G-O dance at weddings has cemented its staying power. It's nice that lesbians have their "YMCA" now.  [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Hot to Go!" is a crowd chant-along that shouldn't work at all as one. The template is "YMCA," but the difference and the problem is that "YMCA" is instantly parseable when spelled out, while "H-O-T-T / O-G-O" takes a moment's reassembly. The other highlight line in "baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me" is endearingly blunt -- more musicians should be that honest -- but nevertheless cannot honestly be chanted by anyone but Dan Nigro or Chappell Roan. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that "Hot to Go!" is hugely effective at getting crowds to chant along. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: Retroactively furious about the idea that one or more of the Village People potentially did or did not endorse Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential election. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Who or what is a hottogo? The chant falls short of total clarity by going two steps further than succinct, but therein lies the charm. Bursting at the seams of some slightly thin fabric, Chappell Roan carries this so far and fast that she might struggle to find her way back. [7]

Leah Isobel: There are about five perfect hooks on Chappell's debut album. "Baby don't you like this beat?/ I made it so you'd sleep with me" is one of them, precise and funny and melodically flawless. I think that was the moment that sold me on her whole project: the bluntness balanced by craft, the expertise made human by the raw and embarrassing vulnerability of wanting sex, wanting recognition, wanting anything at all. Also, have y'all heard the fanmade Rhythm Heaven edit for this? Banger! [8]

TA Inskeep: Every generation gets a new cheerleading-cheer anthem -- think Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" -- and here's the latest, with a bit of "Y.M.C.A." thrown in for good measure. It's hard to ignore Roan's joy on this chorus; this is also a rare pop single where its meme-ability actually draws me in (cf. "Call Me Maybe"). How can you not smile when you hear this? [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Of all the guises that Chappell Roan inhabited on her debut album, this always felt like the truest — she sounds like Devo if they slayed, still gawking and midwestern and not quite fitting a perfect archetype of pop stardom but still, nevertheless, a star. The weepy ballads (some of them great) fade away in the face of this, the goofy chant-a-longs and dance instructions wearing one's resistance down on the strength of pure charisma and craft. There are hooks upon hooks here — I think I've had just the synth chord on the prechorus stuck in my head before. [9]

Ian Mathers: I took the number of times I've caught myself humming this song since I first heard the record last year and divided it by a very large number and got this score. I am not currently interested in Discourse beyond that. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: You're trying to take out Chappell Roan the way you took out Amy Winehouse and I don't like it. Not one bit.  Also, the '80s actually kinda sucked -- let's not go back. (This song is great btw.) [8]

Jel Bugle: I know everyone loves Chappell, and I’ve not really bothered to get too excited. I like the Casio keyboard sounds, and spelling out words in songs is always a good trick (see "D I S C O," and I’m sure Olivia has a spelling words out song?). I can see why Sabrina is winning the chart battle here in the UK. I just feel like this song is okay, warm rather than hot -- a sort of personality over the strength of the song. Plus, I’m getting tired of this song constantly being pushed to me by Spotify -- if it happens again the [6] becomes a [5].  [6]

Taylor Alatorre: For all the talk of Chappell Roan hailing the return of “recession pop,” this strikes my ears as more of a grasping imitation of the real than most of what PC Music was accused of putting out. Maybe that’s unavoidable given the generation gap, as well as the decline of the universal pop star – Chappell covers “Bad Romance�� on tour, but she doesn’t exude the belief that she can be a legitimate successor to Lady Gaga. She’s ambivalent about the compromises required for mass appeal, even on songs like this one which are structured, at least internally, toward that end. It’s all the external festooning and DIY-style pageantry which redirect the song’s course toward a cozier ideal of attainable imperfection, a glitzy and glammy take on self-sabotage. Which, in the end, is its own kind of earnestness. “HOT TO GO!” is confident enough in its own gangliness to bill itself as a coming-out party where everyone, even the normies, is invited, despite the singer’s doubts about the long-term viability of this promise. [6]

Tim de Reuse: The appeal of "Pink Pony Club" was immediately evident to me on first listen. But this one's a silly Chappell Roan song: The narrative here is buried under catchy turns of phrase and the hokey pokey-ass pre-chorus, leaving us to wring pathos out of a few scant lines in the verses. So, what's the draw? The simple build-and-release drama of a I-IV-I progression? The energy of a jittery, unkempt synthesizer-driven beat? Is the chant of "H-O-T-T-O-G-O" sugary enough to overcome my pop-pessimist cynicism and light up my long-calcified dopamine receptors for once? Eh, kinda. It's well-constructed, but it just isn't aiming all that high. [6]

Will Adams: Silly fun pop that doesn't require much thought -- just do the little dance and enjoy yourself! [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[ambrosiagourmet]

Has anyone requested Marcille for the ask meme? If not then pls

Marcille!!!!!!!!!

First impression

Gay? Interesting elf girl with a really good design for a female character oh my god thank you. She gets to wear pants!!! It's a miracle!

Impression now

BELOVED HALF-ELF OF MY HEART... most determined member of the party, maybe second only to Laios. Not that it's a competition.

Girl who carries the weight of her existence in her heart everywhere she goes. Girl who doesn't know how to just exist because that would mean surrendering to the things time will take away from her. Girl with bloody knuckles who clings too tightly to the things she loves because she remembers a time when she didn't realize what they meant to her.

Girl who must shape a life too big to hold all at once. Who stares into that impossible task so unflinchingly that you kind of want to tell her to run away from it for a bit. Be a bit more of a coward, Marcille! But she doesn't have time to be a coward!! She's hurtling towards her goals at terminal velocity. But the same love that keeps her tumbling forward also pulls her back from the brink. Because she's still figuring out the balance.

Favorite moment

Rabbit chapter... my god rabbit chapter.........

Genuinely maybe my favorite chapter in the whole manga. It hits such an incredible peak of humor and raw emotion and impossibly ridiculous situations and grounded believable character writing. And no part of it is separate from the others.

What a fucking chapter. And what a fucking thesis for why Marcille is such a good character. Her being ridiculous and her being incredibly determined and her being powerful and her being scared are ALL part of her. Man. Marcille. She will do anything to pull through for her friends.

And then on top of it the way the Lion takes advantage of this moment to pull her strings. Which is just. So horrifying to watch because you want someone to give her a hug but all the people who would give her a hug are currently DEAD and she's left in a room along and exhausted with a manipulative, abusive, hungry opportunist. God. God. I love Rabbit Part II So Very Much.

Idea for a story

Umm hi sorry I am still busy thinking about Rabbit Part II. Please enjoy some shameless self promotion while I go lie down for a bit.

Unpopular opinion

She's bisexual!!!!! Normally I don't hold so fast to like "well canonically this character was into A Man so she can't be a lesbian blah blah blah" but it does bum me out that people ignore her succubus because I really do think that bi Marcille deserves more love. It doesn't make her any less into women sheesh.

Favorite relationship

Sorry I was thinking about Rabbit Part II again what was the question? Favorite relationship?

Yeah I dunno maybe Marcille and Laios? I kinda like the part where they rely on each other because there is no other way through and share an unnamed intimacy born in blood and bone and the way that they place impossible burdens on each other and owe each other their lives many times over and neither holds it against the other or asks for the repayment of debts that can never be repaid, choosing instead to keep walking into the future by each others sides because what else can you do. What else can you do.

They are pretty cool I guess. I'm normal about them though. Haha.

Favorite headcanon

I imagine that castle staff help Marcille with her hair on a day-to-day basis because leaving it just to personal friends and family would probably be impractical. But also I think Chilchuck, Laios, Falin, and also especially KABRU all learn enough to help her with it. I think that the first three learn some basic nice stuff but I think Kabru would get really into it.

That man could absolutely intensely hyperfixate on something like "nice hairstyles from another culture" for three to six months and come out the other side an expert.

[samson-the-whale]

So ... I made a self insert fore WIR ....ya

:]

Name: Scrapper/scrap

Gender: male (this mf bisexual)

Age: in his game like 20s to 30s if we go with his game age like 30s or 40s 

Game: Scrapper's scrape up

(its like punch out game mechanics game play wies)

Character interactions:

 Hc he gets pumped up easily and likes to push people in the shoulder lightly but really fast when he needs to let out that excitement (t can be like a charging up a special move in his game) and might accidentally leave a bruise 

When he does it to Ralph it tickles 

When he punches Felix he says ow but then hammers his arm and it heals

When he did it to Calhoun for the first time she hit him across the room because she thought he was picking fights and fucking K.Od him with that bitch slap

Then was kind of apologetic after Felix explained and yelled "oh shoot sorry" then Scrap still laying in the floor gives a thumbs up and a strained "I'm ok...it's ok"

 Also if he did the punching thing with Vanelopie she would just pixilate a bit and his punches would almost go through her shoulder kinda I think much like Ralph it would also just tickle 

Ralph:

Before the whole plot of the movie I like to think Ralph liked him but was kind of bitter "he has huge fists and smashes stuff why am "I" the villain?" XD

Ok ok 

So he and Ralph actually get along surprisingly well for you know one being the main character of his game and supposed "heroes" of the game  and the other is well the bad guy. They both like punching stuff and hav a give each other a high five or fist bump while walking by each other so like buddys

Felix:

Him and Felix are more like 

Felix: look at this cool thin-

Scrap: HOLLY CARP CHECK THAT OUT

Like literally one of the doodle sketches was Scrapper leapfrogging over felix to look at a new plugged in game 

So he kinda is an annoying brat towards felix but always makes it in good fun like he's messing around with him with never an intent to hurt his feelings (even when he goes too far and accidentally does)

Vanelopie:

So now we got Vanelopie

There's actually this running joke sorta where scrapper really likes bright colors becus how I imagine his game has a very limited color palette except him for aesthetically pleasing reasons

So he'd actually stay away from brightly colored areas out of comfort before becoming more enthralled in other colors hens his fixation with casualty visiting sugar rush when he's bored 

You may think oh then he must have met Vanellope while visiting 

Well actually no he bye dumb luck he never met her until after the events of the first movie 

So there knowing each other isn't really that strong yet 

But because of him and ralph eventually becoming friends he grew a liking to the spunky little girl calling her shortstack all the time (despite him being a similar height) and or squirt

In response Vanellope calls him oled man

Calhoun:

 Calhoun thinks he's like 12

He is not he's like 30-40 Like lectures him on his fighting form Thinks he's like inexperienced Finds him endearing if a little overbearing Finds his high energy useful in certain situations but exhausting at other times Is unsure...which fighting game he originates from Then bonding through duty or honor or avenging a loved one.

Sour bill (because I want more interactions and im hiperfixsaiting):

Scraper:Yoooooo a fellow rubber ball

Sour bill:what?

 Ima say this shit now they would drink tea together because yes Scrapper doesn't like coffee he drinks tea

Sonic (because I can):

Mf cameos in scrappers game in later levels for no reason just because funny

It's like the meme

Scrapper: sonic? What are you doing here?

Sonic in scrapper's game: waiting for them to play Gangdemstyle 

Ok so I forgot to put this in I was ryly hoped to post this but thanks to my friend @im-not-important fore spell correcting and helping come up with ideas(also did some of the Blu doodles in the Wight board drawings)

[lesbianslvt666]

Hi, how are you?

can u imagine the reader is ellie's girlfriend and one day she goes on the reader's instagram and sees a guy sending nasty messages to the reader and it makes her angry, something like ellie texts the guy threatening him and then she argues with the reader for not telling her about it and that ends up with ellie fucking the reader hard, but being cute in the end? ty 😘

Hello love 💕

Not proofread lol

Cw: smut, mean!Ellie, kinda sub!Reader i guess, slaps, fingering (R! Receiving), kinda denigration, squirting, over stimulation. Rushed ending. Idk what else lol

Ellie and you trusted each other so much.

You where the one with the idea of having both face id’s on your phones, so when you where doing something else Ellie could look for a song or do whatever.

And now was very handy. Ellie was bored out of her mind, you had offered to cook something fast to watch a movie and her phone was dead.

She unlocked it and went straight to instagram, she loved watching your pics and you had the most random explore page.

It wasn’t a secrete that you had too many unread messages, i mean, look at you! Pretty and talented, a lot of randoms followed you there either for your fashion or your looks or to watch you paint or to hear snippets of your songs.

Ellie thought it was a good laugh to go thorough your your requests, people where shameless sometimes, sometimes funny, and other times like right now, where just so nasty.

The ugliest dude with only one misogynistic meme on his page. The messages started as “flirtatious” (dry and awkward) but as time went by the messages got more and more aggressive and sexually suggestive.

Her blood was boiling, her free hand was scrunching the duvet with so much force that her finger where burning.

Without a second thought she started to type, every word more aggressive than the last one, she typed the last words fast and sent it, she left you phone down, face red, her anger was blinding her.

You entered the room with two plates of food.

“Babe, ya’ wanna help me with the drinks? Couldn’t bring them and-“ your word cut off by her scoff, your eyes traveling to her.

“Whats wrong Ells?” Your words careful after leaving the plates down.

“Angel, you remember when i told you that if anyone ever even dared looking at you the wrong way you were to tell me? Like right away?” Her hand traveling all the was up caressing from you hand up you arm to your face.

She places a stray hair behind your pretty ear. “Yes baby” your voice small, her face changed. “You don’t have anything to tell me?” Her middle and thumb fingers grabbed you harshly.

Moving your face to her liking, looking at you in a way that kinda scared you, however that only made your wetness pool on you panties.

“No baby, i promise” her eyes went dark, blown pupils, her lust mixing with anger. “You slutty lair” her mouth attacking yours with hunger.

She was feeling every part of you and you let her, although your confusion was fighting for dominance against your lust.

“Wait baby, what- ahhh- what why… mmmhhh” you couldn’t speak correctly, her mouth leaving marks on your neck and her hands squeezing your ass harshly was enough to make you delirious.

“There’s” a slap on your eyes made you squeeze your cunt on nothing, eyes closing shut. “A stupid bitch” another slap. “on your request” and she took this time to manhandle you to the bed.

she sat without a word and bed you over her lap. “His messages are very disgusting angel” slap. “Why didn’t you told me?” Her hands massaging your ass to let you speak.

“I just.. umm.. i dint wanted to ummmhaaaaa.. worry you baby!” After every word you spoke her hand traveled further in between your legs.

“It was nothing… mmmmhhaaaa!” Her hand slapped your cunt when you said that, anger filling her again.

“Nothing?” Her face coming close to your face. “Can i take this off princess?” Her fingers hooking up at the waist band of your butty shorts. “Yes, Ellie yessss please, touch me, do anything!”

She took it, taking down your shorts and panties.

Soaked pussy glistening with your milky essence.

She licked her lips while moving her fingers up and down, the stimulation too much.

She inserted two fingers out of nowhere, the pain mixing with delicious pleasure.

“Fuck baby, yes, like that…” your voice just above a whisper. Her hand moving in and out of your pussy so hard your juices where dripping down yours and her leg. You couldn’t take it any longer.

She stopped all movements, carrying you to the bed, taking off your shirt and hers, she knew how much you liked seeing her boobs bounce when she fucked you.

“You better tell me, this shit, even if its not important okay bitch?” Her hand glistening with your cum massaging your boobs, pinching hard and without a care, your body squirming at the feeling, and after all the juices where clean on your tits, she moved to your neck, pressing your wind pipe softly, loving how your mouth opened and your eyes rolled back in bliss.

And thats how she fucked you for the past hour, fingers in and out through your squirts and highs, aiming for over stimulation, and when you simply couldn’t take it any more. She stopped.

She knew your body like the palm of her hand and she know she was overstepping her boundaries. Even if you loved it.

She knew you’ll be sore in the morning and she didnt wanted you to feel uncomfortable.

She give your clit a sweet kiss, going all the way up to your face, she kiss all over, both giggling at her sweet change.

“I love you baby, i just don’t want anyone to make you feel bad or anything” she was a bit awkward, feelings weren’t an easy thing for her.

She took a soft towel that she bought especially for this cause she thought “the normal towels could be too rough on your pretty skin”, wet it a bit and came back to clean you.

She tossed the towel back to the bathroom and took both plates, both of you now under the covers and cuddling on the bed, she pressed play on the Lorax and you laughed at that.

“I love you Ellie” you said looking up at her.

“I love you more baby” she said kissing you on the forehead.

“Fuck i forgot the drinks” she said followed by a groan.

Hope you liked this baby 💋🫶

[trigunsbbygirl]

Human Things that Confuse Knives Part 2

Made a second one since I had more ideas lol

content warnings: teeth, use bomb in an analogy, mention bruises. this one gets more into the body/anatomy idk what all people are comfy with so just in case

•Knives already thinks dreams are kinda weird, but those surreal ones and the utterly weird ones that just make no sense or seemed so real you wonder if it actually happened? he wants to know what's going on in your brain. Knives will listen to you as you recount your dream, he won't say much or make any facial reactions, but part of him is kinda amazed that your can brain come up with the weirdest, coolest and/or creepiest things ever.

•the concept of having baby teeth and adult teeth weirds Knives out. when Knives learns that you do lose your teeth as a kid he's staring at you like you've just grown a second head. don't tell him that you have wisdom teeth that usually need to be taken out via surgery as a teenager. (Vash is kinda grossed out by it. found out when a kid he was playing with ran up to him and was like 'look! my tooth fell out!:D' he panicked, thinking they got hurt, but it's replaced with horror, disbelief, slight disgust and concern when he finds out every human looses a set of teeth. he hates it a little. has no idea what to do when a kid tells him that a tooth fell out. help him)

•also. imagine Knives surprise when he learns about the appendix. you had been talking with a friend when you mentioned appendicitis and that you had to have surgery. it peaked his interest and when you're done talking, Knives asks about it. he stares at you in uncertainty and disbelief the further you explain. what do you mean there's a small pouch in your stomach that serves little to no function that can essentially become a bomb? Knives doesn't actually believe you until he looks it up. he wonders how humans have survived with bodies like that.

•same wonder when it comes to you having to take vitamins and other supplements because sometimes a body won't produce enough of something or too much.

•the fact the humans shed/lose hair. Knives knows that, but it kinda grosses him out a bit. he hates seeing your hair strands, makes you clean them up. (I hc that the twins just have little to no body hair and they don't actually lose hair strands.)

•double jointed people also weirds Knives out. what do you mean you can twist or bend a joint further than normal? it doesn't exactly creep or gross him out, but he doesn't like it. he'll never admit that, but he won't look/talk to you for a bit after you show off that flexibility.

•Knives is fascinated by the way your skin can change colors. (don't mention that he can turn a lovely shade of red, he gets all huffy.) but, anyways, he loves examining your face, watching as your face gets darker with certain things he does. (also likes seeing your facial expressions. humans are so expressive..) he also likes seeing your bruises and watching as the bruise changes colors over time as it heals. you joked one day that you could give him a bruise of his own that he can watch. he didn't like the joke (he prefers to give you (consensual) bruises.)

•now let's get into reverse Isekai for a bit.

•Knives does not fucking understand social media lmao. why the hell do you have to tell people you've never met what you did or thought that day and why are so many people interested? why do people do stupid things for views??

•he hates online discourse and always tunes you out when you try to talk about something that happened online. he doesn't care and thinks it's stupid.

•do NOT let him find out about stan culture or chronically online people. he's gonna lose any faith he had in humanity again. I wouldn't worry about that too much though. he has zero online presence, never uses social media outside of YouTube and even then he only uses it to watch documentaries or how to videos.

•memes confuse him a lot, especially how fast they come and go. you don't even know how to explain them to him. "why is this picture of a man just standing so funny?" "it just is? I don't know either." how do you even explain memes and internet culture to someone who's never been on the internet lol

•Knives thinks you're really weird if you've got a skewed sense of humor where something dramatically falling over makes you laugh(thinking of that waffle video.) he watches those types of videos with a straight face and when the video ends he just stares at you, wondering if you seriously think that's funny.

•he hates those youtube poop and deepfried videos. not only does he find them stupid and doesn't understand them, but they just bother his ears.

•bonus: Vash thinks the circadian rythym is pretty neat and that some people just know when to wake up. it took Vash a while to develop one, or at least, something like that since he doesn't technically need sleep. it'll never quite be the same though since he doesn't exactly get tired like humans do. it took decades for that type of tiredness to become present, but even still, he doesn't need it to survive.

[bugsysaboy]

Kite Headcanons <3

ALRIGHT THIS ONE IS FOR MY FELLOW KITE STANS!!! all 5 of us!!!!

No content warnings, sfw

-has the worst appetite known to man /hj

-he usually just eats soup

-he can easily be thrown off by the texture of certain foods (certified jello hater!)

-although, honestly, if he's hungry enough he'll eat anything.

-autism be damned, my boy can work a grill campfire.

-anxious as FUCK in restaurants. He's too awkward to order and will just s t a r e for too long unintentionally at the waitstaff.

-also will be awkward about starting his meal and will just hork it down when no one is looking. (Look, he grew up on the streets, eating fast so no one takes his food is just a hold over.)

-REALLY GOOD CANDID PHOTOS BUT DO NOT ASK THIS MAN TO POSE! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING!

-you know that meme that's the person doing the half a heart with their hand and the other person has a thumbs up? ...yeah.

-ACTUALLY THAT BEING SAID he's really handsome when caught off guard, but when he's actually engaging in conversation with someone he's kinda funny looking? Like he'll suddenly be aware of how he's carrying himself and maintaining eye contact and he will over correct.

-This man has no game!!! This man can neither pull nor flirt! 29 years old and even the idea of holding hands gets him flustered.

-on top of this if he's romantically interested in someone he's really prone to just avoiding them.

-KITE AND CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST MANZAI! KITE IS THE STRAIGHT MAN AND CRAZY SLOTS IS THE FUNNY MAN! KITE SAYING "ah, bad roll" AND GRIPING ABOUT CRAZY SLOTS IS JUST A BIT TO HIM! HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS BUT NOBODY SEES THIS.

-dad jokes and puns all day everyday

-also he can actually be pretty chatty, like don't get me wrong when he's really focused he'll probably just shut up but during downtime? Around a campfire? He loves to spin a yarn or talk about his work.

-He also loves to hear about what others are passionate about!

-gets a general feel for people really quickly- he'll open up to people he gets good vibes off of pretty fast, but others he's more iffy on he may keep things cordial. This can, however, lead to snap judgements about people that might not be always correct.

-excellent pickpocket, now that he has a stable income through being a hunter he won't use this ability often...

-okay might do it to prank someone

-...or humble them.

-Met Ging when he was 15 and Ging was 18

-if he sets an alarm he somehow always manages to wake up just before it goes off

-hammock conoisseur 😌

-if he was in the real world he'd be Russian. (This is literally just based off of vibes and some edit an artist made of Kite running to Russian hardbass.)

-thinks it's really funny to say "have you considered..." to someone and when they ask him to elaborate he just says "...just... have you considered."

-loves sunflowers, loves sunflower seeds

-likes to keep a spare scarf handy in case someone needs it

-makes the crazy slots noise when he's really trying to concentrate

-favorite candy is saltwater taffy

-I like to imagine that he got the idea for crazy slots because of a boardwalk carnival in the town he grew up in. The carnies knew that Kite could win any of the games they had, no matter how rigged, it was uncanny.

-...probably used the plushies he won as pillows, maybe with the smaller ones he'd let his dogs play with.

-AND YES, HIS DOGS ALL HAD NAMES. ALEXEI, BORIS, SERGEI, PUSHKIN, FYODOR JUST TO NAME A FEW

-Favorite author is Dovstoevsky

-legitimately does not remember where he got his hat from, it's just kinda always been there, you know?

-he's not super focused on material goods and he doesnt really like receiving gifts (exceptions are made for anything handmade or a really cool rock.)

-...call him pretty and he'll fold

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "�� dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not telling someone i dont want to be their friend?

in my freshman year of high school, i became part of this friend group with like 12 other people. we had a very active groupchat, always sat together at lunch, etc. this girl, lets call her “J,” would sit with us, but she wasn’t part of the group. she knew two of the people in the friend group from middle school*, so we eventually added her to the gc. over the next couple months, everything was pretty alright. however, myself and a few others in the group slowly started talking to her less and less. there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just one of those cases of “sometimes in real life there will be people you dont like that much for no reason.” the only real issue was that she’s very self-deprecating, and doesn’t make very many original comments/jokes outside of being self deprecating or complaining about her dad. (ex. one of my friends got the role he wanted for a play, and instead of congratulating him J went on to give a rant about how much she thinks she sucks at theater because she’s never gotten a lead role.) fast forward to now, we’re all sophomores. i never talked to her that much in the first place, but i feel kinda bad that now pretty much None of us talk to her. people don’t respond to her in the gc anymore because all she really does is make us feel bad for her or quote unfunny memes**. i dont think any of us Dislike her, but we dont really like her that much either. nobody has said anything to her because we know she’ll take it super personally. i genuinely want her to make friends who will like her, but she cant do that because shes trying to be part of our group instead. i feel really guilty, like we’re leading her on by not saying anything, but i also dont feel like i should be the one to tell her since i only talked to her for about a month. its really tough because nobody wants to admit that we’d rather she leave us alone, so nobody does anything. i think shes somewhat aware of how we feel, but hasnt left the gc or found different people to sit with at lunch. i really dont know what to do and i feel guilty. am i the asshole for not doing anything?

*she was only acquainted with the people from middle school, they werent close

**kind of related, my friends make fun of me a lot in a joking way (which im totally ok with bc i know them), but J tries to include herself in these jokes by making fun of me too (which makes me uncomfortable, i barely know her). its just kinda weird cos its like. shes not calling me stinky bc she’s joking with me shes doing it bc she wants the approval of the people in the group. its really impersonal

What are these acronyms?

[lucifersresources]

speak now (taylor's version) vault tracks rp meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

electric touch.

just relax, it'll be okay.

i've got my money on things going badly.

got a history of stories ending sadly.

still hoping that the fire won't burn me.

this could either break my heart or bring it back to life.

your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life.

i want you now.

i've been left in the rain, lost and pining.

trying hard not to look like i'm trying.

every time i tried hard for love, it fell apart.

i've grown accustomed to sleeping alone.

maybe the stars align and maybe i call you mine.

maybe the moment's right.

when emma falls in love.

this one could go wrong.

she's the kind of book that you can't put down.

all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had a chance to love her.

i wish i was her.

she takes on the pain and bears it on her own.

she won't walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave.

she won't lose herself in love the way that i did.

his whole world's about to change.

i can see you.

i spend my time trying not to feel it.

what would you do if i went to touch you now?

what would you do if they never found us out?

i could see you up against the wall with me.

i can see you.

something's changed.

they kept watchful eyes on us.

it's best that we move fast and keep quiet.

you won't believe half the things i see inside my head.

wait till you see half the things that haven't happened yet.

meet me tonight.

i could see you being my addiction.

you can see me as a secret mission.

i will start behaving myself.

castles crumbling.

i had an empire in a golden age.

i was held up so high.

i used to be great.

they used to cheer when they saw my face.

i fear i have fallen from grace.

i feel like my castle's crumbling down.

i watch all my bridges burn to the ground.

i will just let you down.

you don't wanna know me now.

i held that grudge till it tore me apart.

power went to my head.

i sit alone behind walls of regret.

i don't know how it could've ended this way.

people look at me like i'm a monster.

never wanted you to hate me.

foolish one.

my cards are on the table.

you've already got plans.

chances are i will talk myself to sleep again.

you give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high.

you are not the exception.

you will never learn your lesson.

i know how to act like i'm fine.

i can't call you mine.

i will do my best to seem bulletproof.

how could i not see the signs?

you got her on your arm and me in the wings.

i'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring.

maybe i will finally learn my lesson.

timeless.

the kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime.

i know that you and i would've found each other in another life.

you still would've turned my head even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

you still would've been mine.

we would have been timeless.

i believe that we were supposed to find this.

even in a different life, you still would've been mine.

i'd die for you in the same way.

the story started when you say 'hello'.

sometimes there's no proof, you just know.

you're always gonna be mine.

i'm gonna love you when our hair is turning gray.

oh my, we really were timeless.