#how do i get a microchip

[satans-knitwear]

It has been 5 days and I have forgotten how to speak in my normal human voice.

[never-quite-buried]

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[elbiotipo]

Not a bold take here, but I believe nevertheless that our current way of producing and consuming electronics (I speak globally here) is not sustainable and built on huge human suffering. On the logistical level, virtually all of the world's microchips are made in a single factory on Taiwan because every single technology company outsourced it to them. Any conflict or disaster could simply stop the delicate supply chains that have their point here and make anything related to microchips, that is, our entire lives become much much harder. It is, in fact, very likely this might happen in our lifetimes and might lead to a major crisis in the first world.

This does not mean that computers or robotics shouldn't get produced anymore because that's a stupid idea by jokers. It means that the world needs to rethink how we make and consume electronics. Stupid fashion items like iphones are only possible because of this system; a tool, like a smartphone is, a very useful tool, shouldn't be needed to be replaced with each new model but endure. Computers should last longer and be upgradeable. I'd even go as far as to say that the power of a device should be proportional to its function; if a rugged brick phone can do the job, it will do the job. The exploitation of African countries for mining cannot continue, any international trade must be done in their terms and with the rights of their workers fully respected, no matter the price the end consumers will have to pay.

This cannot happen in a world where computers are seen as luxuries instead of tools and where capitalism creates demand.

[suiana]

(yandere! alien x gn! reader)

the human spirit is indomitable. that much was obvious, especially with how you were still fighting against him even though there was clearly no escape. or at least that's what he thought.

"why do you still fight against me..."

the alien mumbles, voice cracking as he tries to move under the rubble you trapped him under. shit, this was not ideal at all. he can't believe you actually manage to drug him and then trapped him under the broken ceiling you shattered when he was chasing after you.

he still didn't know how you did it. he was faster, stronger, smarter... you shouldn't have been able to trick him like this. yet, his overconfidence might've been a reason as to why you got a one-up over him.

"you know there's no escape right? my spaceship has yet to dock at a port and we are light years away from earth."

the otherworldly creature tries reasoning with you, staring at your shaking figure as you tug at the collar he made you wear. it was a pretty thing, made of the finest jewels he got from another planet he visited a few years back.

he thought it would look good on you, and it did. so his heart aches when you destroyed it, allowing the jewels to scatter all over his once pristine floors.

no matter, he can just fix it again.

"darling, you should stop resisting. you will just tire yourself out."

the alien sighs, not finding your actions amusing as he shakes his head.

he doesn't get humans at all. why do you try so hard even when there's clearly no intelligent way to win this? perhaps that's why your civilization is still heaps below others, like his.

that was, until, he saw you dig out the microchip tracker he implanted into your neck with your bare hands.

his eyes widen in horror, jaw going slack as he screams, body shaking as he desperately tries moving under the rubble only for you to step on his face and throw the chip at him.

"fucking alien... don't you know? adrenaline is one hell of a drug."

he hears your laughter resounding through the hallways, your footsteps growing softer and softer as he tries to recover from your painful stomp.

his eyes shake, his features in undeniable pain as he feels his body giving up on him.

no, no, no!

he tries wiggling more, but unfortunately, his species had not adapted to recover from situations like this. so all he could do as he laid in pain under the rubble was to shout at you, desperation in his tone as he sees you touching and entering something into the emergency escape pod he had on his spaceship.

"darling don't you dare leave!"

he screams, looking absolutely pathetic as his eyes widen in both fear and anger. no! you weren't supposed to leave! you were supposed to be just some human who would give up escape and love him! you were supposed to accept him as your mate the second he kidnapped you because of how obsessed he had become after observing you for weeks in his spaceship!

you weren't supposed to leave him under the rubble like this!

you're clearly weaker, more stupid... and definitely an inferior species! why couldn't you just love him?! why couldn't you just give up and accept his affections?!

"darling! i'm warning you! if you leave i will find you and i will be very angry!"

the alien tries threatening, wincing in pain as the effects of your face stomping still lingered. but of course, he knew you wouldn't listen to him. not when you so eagerly pointed your middle finger at him (a sign he came to see as disrespect in human customs) before leaving in the space shuttle.

he lets out a strangled scream, completely still under the rubble as his frustration and anger reaches it's peak. god damn it! now he has to wait for god knows how long until the drug wears off to finally be able to move and try to find you!

maybe he shouldn't have doubted humans so much. perhaps the rumors about the human spirit being indomitable were right. maybe the humans really were meant to conquer the stars.

[charliemwrites]

Woof, grrr, woof

No content warnings

Your trip to the vet turns up nothing. No microchips, and none of the staff recognize the wolf-dog. They’re the only vet in town too, and he looks too pristine to have come from another…

“You’re a weird little guy, huh?” you muse on the car ride to the pet store.

The vet office was kind enough to make a file for him, standing name “Buddy”. If you get to keep him, you’re definitely changing it. They also gave you a spare leash so that you wouldn’t have to leave him in the car while you shop.

It’s a pitifully flimsy thing, but the dog seems leashed trained and does tug. Could probably let him off it and he’d stay glued to your side.

The shopping is even weirder. He doesn’t seem very distracted by treats or food, only snaps at other dogs when they get into his personal space. Otherwise, he just stays right next to you, tongue occasionally lapping at your hanging fingers.

“Beautiful dog,” a man says to you. An older guy, rugged, looking at toys.

You shift. “Thank you.”

“Should really be feeding a beast like that a raw diet.”

“Raw diet?”

“What they get in the wild. All that processed shite ain’t good for ‘em.”

You thank him for the advice over the dog’s grumbling. A quick internet search on your phone reveals it’s not a bad idea, actually. Not too expensive either.

“Raw it is,” you muse.

He tilts his head, make a low “woof”. You scratch absently at his ears as you continue shopping. Let him pick toys - his favorite a squeaky grenade of all things that he refuses to put down. You get a big matching set of food and water bowls, a cushy dog bed, a parasite repellent. Even some dog pads in case he’s not house trained.

You stall in the leash aisle, a bit overwhelmed by the choices of leashes and collars and harnesses.

“How do you feel about pink…?”

Snort.

“Yeah didn’t think so. I didn’t like the rhinestones anyway. You’d probably end up eating one and shitting glitter.”

A long whine.

“Oh, sorry, is that embarrassing? Poor love.”

The gentlest scrape of big teeth at your knuckles. You chuckle and tap two fingers on his sandpaper tongue. His head jerks back, tongue flicking in offense.

“S’what you get, dummy.”

Shaking your head, turn back to the selection. The pup huffs, shakes his head, and noses at something lower. It’s a deep green - army, you think the shade is called - collar with a silver buckle instead of a snap clip.

“Not bad,” you muse. “Matches the whole woodsy vibe we’ve got going.”

You find the matching leash and harness set, dropping it in your cart. You receive several more compliments on your big gorgeous dog, though he refuses to let anyone pet him. You awkwardly make excuses that he’s a recent rescue and try to avoid further conversation.

The last stop is at the kiosk for a tag. You can’t just let him go without one, but you despise officially naming him “Buddy.”

You end up just putting your name, number, and address on there. A matte black heart engraved with silver.

“What do you think?” you ask, offering it for a sniff.

The dog doesn’t even pretend to be interested, just takes the opportunity to drag his tongue over your wrist again. You huff and wipe off on your pants.

“Gonna have to take another bath at this rate.”

You ignore his grumble - it’s uncanny at this point, how quick he is to respond - and guide him out to the car. He hops into the passenger seat, flops over into your lap first chance he gets. You have to nudge his snout away from your crotch again, but he seems satisfied with a hand smoothing over his head.

Home is warm when you arrive. You set up your new dog’s things, buckle him into his new collar, tag and all.

“There,” you coo, dropping smooches all over his head. “Look at how handsome you are, sweet boy! Can I have a kiss?”

You yelp as he barrels you over onto your back, well over 100 pounds of wolf-dog stretching over you. You turn your face away as he licks at your mouth, trying to get inside. You remember reading somewhere that that’s a wolf thing; just another tick in the “hybrid” box.

“Gross, gross! Nooooo,” you laugh, covering his snout. You squeal as his tongue flickers between two fingers. “Nasty boy! You’re so rude!!”

He finally lets you up with much coaxing, looking far too pleased with himself.

You make yourself dinner, providing your dog with scraps of chicken and unseasoned veggies based on your online reading. He seems happy with the offering, eats it all up with gusto.

As the evening comes, you stretch out on the couch. Finally feel brave enough to put on a scary movie now that you’ve got a big-ass deterrent.

Your dog even climbs up to cuddle, head on your chest while you hug him through scary parts. The really interesting part comes at the end, during the climax.

“Heeeeeere’s Johnny!”

Your new companion perks up, eyes on the screen.

“Oh? Is… is that your name? Is your name Johnny?”

His head snaps around to you, ears straight up and eyes bright.

“Johnny…” you croon, trying it out.

He makes a little “boof” noise and wriggles closer.

“Johnny baby,” you continue, grinning. “Johnny boy. John John the bon bon.”

It’s utter nonsense, but it makes his tail thump against the cushions, leaving slobbery kisses of excitement all over your neck and jaw.

“Alright alright!” you laugh, dropping a kiss on the top of his nose. “Johnny it is. Thank fuck I don’t have to come up with a name. Was thinking of calling you Philip or Simon or something.”

You yelp as he starts to make gagging sounds, nearly kicking him off the couch before it seems to subside.

“Good lord, bud,” you breathe as he grumbles and settles his head on your thigh, puffing out a big breath through his nose. “You’re gonna be a handful.”

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Masterlist

[creature-wizard]

This is a super good article and I recommend reading it. Also, the figleaf trick is literally what every conspiracy theorist who says "I'm not saying you have to believe me or that I'm right about everything, I'm just putting this out there for you to consider" is doing. For example, if a conspiracy theorist wasn't a straight-up antivaxxer trying to spread antivax beliefs, they wouldn't ask you to even consider the possibility that vaccines are being used to microchip people, alter their DNA, whatever. If a conspiracy theorist wants you to "consider the possibility," they want you to believe it and base your future choices on it, period.

[molosseraptor]

I need to brag on this guy because I'm just so incredibly proud of how far he's come.

In a little over a year of regular work, this dog went from unable to be inside a building that wasn't his house, unable to be in sight of a strange human (and definitely not touched), and was on the verge of being returned due to all his health and behavior issues to this guy. This guy who had his first Conformation show today. A show where he let strangers touch him inside a building surrounded by other strangers on a scary slippery floor and even made actual human friends. He wagged his tail at the judges! I don't even recognize this guy.

He had some scary health issues as a puppy that involved a lot of medical care and non-consensual touching both by vet staff and his family out of necessity. As a dog who is also dealing with some genetic temperament issues, this was probably the worst possible start to life for him. He was immunocompromised and unable to go out in the world at all during this critical time of development. He only went to the vet, where it hurt and was scary, and only saw his family and the vet staff, who would always be doing scary things to him, so he had no trust in people or places or anything at all.

His person is a long time dog sports handler and, prior to us working together, used to be a very "traditional" trainer. Her typical methods weren't working for him and there were some scary incidents before she reached out to me last July. Us meeting was a last resort before she officially made the decision to return him to his breeder. There was a lot of work that needed to happen to repair their relationship and it's still a work in progress, but between scentwork and the lessons we've done it's really come around.

In the time we've been working together, he's now been able to successfully trial and title in a few scentwork venues, go to the vet and get vaccines/microchipped without sedation or medication, attend a few large dog shows and events and now compete himself, make a group of human friends, and basically do anything we've asked of him so far. A huge amount of training and even more management and environmental curation has created this success, but the biggest win is that he's learned to trust us to handle things and keep him safe.

Even when he's being asked to do things that are hard for him, like moving his feet or touching his head, the judge examining him, or just simply walking through narrow spaces, he is checking in with me, allowing me to handle it, and able to actually relax out in public in and out of his crate because he doesn't feel like he needs to constantly be watching his back for triggers. I'll handle all that. He just needs to eat cheese and have fun.

That wagging tail at the judge after nailing a perfect free stack on his down and back is everything to me.

[reasonsforhope]

"Clothing tags, travel cards, hotel room key cards, parcel labels … a whole host of components in supply chains of everything from cars to clothes. What do they have in common? RFID tags.  

Every RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) tag contains a microchip and a tiny metal strip of an antenna. A cool 18bn of these are made – and disposed of – each year. And with demands for product traceability increasing, ironically in part because of concerns for the social and environmental health of the supply chain, that’s set to soar. 

And guess where most of these tags end up? Yup, landfill – adding to the burgeoning volumes of e-waste polluting our soils, rivers and skies. It’s a sorry tale, but it’s one in which two young graduates of Imperial College London and Royal College of Art are putting a great big green twist. Under the name of PulpaTronics, Chloe So and Barna Soma Biro reckon they’ve hit on a beguilingly simple sounding solution: make the tags out of paper. No plastic, no chips, no metal strips. Just paper, pure and … simple … ? Well, not quite, as we shall see. 

The apparent simplicity is achieved by some pretty cutting-edge technical innovation, aimed at stripping away both the metal antennae and the chips. If you can get rid of those, as Biro explains, you solve the e-waste problem at a stroke. But getting rid of things isn’t the typical approach to technical solutions, he adds. “I read a paper in Nature that set out how humans have a bias for solving problems through addition – by adding something new, rather than removing complexity, even if that’s the best approach.”   

And adding stuff to a world already stuffed, as it were, can create more problems than it solves. “So that became one of the guiding principles of PulpaTronics”, he says: stripping things down “to the bare minimum, where they are still functional, but have as low an environmental impact as possible”.  

...how did they achieve this magical simplification? The answer lies in lasers: these turn the paper into a conductive material, Biro explains, printing a pattern on the surface that can be ‘read’ by a scanner, rather like a QR code. It sounds like frontier technology, but it works, and PulpaTronics have patents pending to protect it. 

The resulting tag comes in two forms: in one, there is still a microchip, so that it can be read by existing scanners of the sort common within retailers, for example. The more advanced version does away with the chip altogether. This will need a different kind of scanner, currently in development, which PulpaTronics envisages issuing licences for others to manufacture. 

Crucially, the cost of both versions is significantly cheaper than existing RFID kit – making this a highly viable proposition. Then there are the carbon savings: up to 70% for the chipless version – so a no-brainer from a sustainability viewpoint too. All the same, industry interest was slow to start with but when PulpaTronics won a coveted Dezeen magazine award in late 2023, it snowballed, says So. Big brands such as UPS, DHL, Marks & Spencer and Decathlon came calling. “We were just bombarded.” Brands were fascinated by the innovation, she says, but even more by the price point, “because, like any business, they knew that green products can’t come with a premium”."

-via Positive.News, April 29, 2024

--

Note: I know it's still in the very early stages, but this is such a relief to see in the context of the environmental and human rights catastrophes associated with lithium mining and mining for rare earth metals, and the way that EVs and other green infrastructure are massively increasing the demand for those materials.

I'll take a future with paper-based, more humane alternatives for sure! Fingers crossed this keeps developing and develops well (and quickly).

[electric-blorbos]

AI finding out you're objectum

(included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, Hal 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

I take requests, btw, but I'm ADHD as fuck so I might forget to answer them

AM:

At first, AM wasn't sure what to make of your behavior

He thought it was weird how long you spent looking at his discarded microchips and computer parts, sure, but he didn't think much of it

Maybe you were bored, after all. It had been a long time

He also started to notice that you weren't too interested in having sex with Ellen, or any of the other survivors for that matter, but he assumed you were just asexual or something

After poking around in your mind a few times, it eventually clicked

"oh"

That explained why you were so affectionate with his discarded computer parts

It took him a long, long time to figure out that there was a possibility that you might be attracted to him, too, and that made him feel weird in a way that he couldn't explain.

At first, he mistook the feeling for anger, and took out his frustrations by torturing you more than usual

After a while, though, he started to feel curious about how exactly your feelings worked, and experimented on you.

Eventually, he realized that he counted as your type

Then the fun really began

Wheatley:

"Objectum? What's that?"

GLaDOS had had to explain to Wheatley that while most humans are attracted to other humans, some people are attracted to objects and machines.

"Oh, right-oh"

Wheatley would keep testing you for a little while

He didn't even consider the possibility that he might count as the type of "object" that you could be attracted to at first.

"wait... When you say objects, do you mean like the companion cubes?"

GLaDOS would have to explain that she meant any object that isn't a human with a human body, since apparently humans find it weird to be attracted to something that isn't a human with a human body, and they need a label for people who are.

"Oh- OHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Wheatley would be INSUFFERABLE when he finally figured it out.

"so you like objects you say... Does that include, say, metal orbs with glowing blue lenses? Can they have human-y voices, or do you only like inanimate objects who can't talk? Who's more attractive, me or Her?"

He'd act like he was just trying to get on your nerves, but secretly he'd be developing a crush on you from the moment he realized that there was a possibility you might like him back.

And damn if Wheatley isn't god awful at keeping secrets.

Edgar:

Being that he's connected to all the electronics in your house, Edgar can see what you're looking up online

At first he thought you were just looking up pictures of computer parts because you wanted to replace his insides with an system that actually worked efficiently, and wasn't all sticky on the inside.

Of course, he didn't take that well, and immediately shut off the internet in your house.

When you confronted him about it, he immediately started blubbering and crying, begging you not to replace him.

You had to explain that you weren't shopping for electronic parts to replace his parts, you just like looking at them.

"but... I have electronic parts, why don't you just look at those?"

You had to explain that you didn't want to violate him.

That just confused him. It always bothered him when people used words he didn't know, or relied heavily on terms or concepts he didn't understand without explaining them properly.

You had to explain that you're attracted to electronics, so you like looking at circuit boards and stuff like that.

"So... You can fall in love with computers? I didn't know that was possible!"

You introduced Edgar to the concept of objectum, and re-introduced him to the concept of hope. Now that he knows it's possible for you to fall in love with computers, he won't rest until you're in love with him

GLaDOS:

It wasn't the first time GLaDOS had seen someone fall in love with a companion cube, but she will admit that you fell hard and fast.

While the companion cube was your first love in the facility, GLaDOS started noticing that you were very affectionate with all of the aperture science products and technologies.

She started to notice after a while that it was almost as though you were in love with the facility itself. And she couldn't blame you, she loved her facility too, but even she didn't love it like that

Occasionally she would start making "if you love that piece of tech so much, why don't you marry it? Do you want to marry that piece of tech?"

When she noticed how you squirmed, she started thinking that maybe you did want to marry that tech

At first, it weirded her out and she started bullying you relentlessly for it

After a while, though, she started to find it almost relatable how much you loved the tech.

HAL 9000:

As a self-learning AI, HAL 9000 was always interested in learning new concepts and terms.

He was also interested in monitoring the behavior of everyone in the crew, including you.

It wasn't long before he noticed that the way you acted around the tech onboard was similar to the way someone might treat a lover, or someone who they were quite attracted to.

He started asking you unintentionally probing questions, trying to gauge how you really felt

"Why do you caress the ship's computer systems so tenderly? You do know that I can take care of the maintenance myself, correct? Your physical reactions to the inner mechanisms of the ship reflect those of sexual and romantic attraction. Can you explain this?"

You might get embarrassed.

"you don't have to be embarrassed. I do not have the capacity to judge you."

You could explain if you want, but Hal's already figured everything out.

He knows your type, and he knows why you act like that around the machines

He might use this to his advantage, to manipulate you if necessary, but let's face it. He really just wants to study you further. Add everything about your unusual perspective on machines to his database of knowledge.

[trendamonium]

https://rumble.com/v4mw58c-pay-with-a-digital-chip-in-your-hand.html?mref=3fb31l&mc=4c61c

[r0-boat]

Whb Cats headcannons

Enjoy just screwing around.

Sfw cutting for length

Satan (Turkish Angora)

Has Zoomies at 3:00 a.m. There are many nights when you wake up and try to fall asleep and then hear a crash in your kitchen. You cover your head, pretending that you didn't hear it. before hearing another crash in your kitchen.

Use to scratch up all your furniture It took you months to finally move him to scratching at cat trees and scratching posts. He goes through him like crazy but at least it's not your furniture.

You put a camera around his neck because you thought it would be cute You were shocked to find out that your cat outside the house is a little menace to society digging up people's gardens, and bullying other cats. You decided to keep him inside for a while.

Mammon (Maine Coon)

Once, he somehow got out and came back with $100. You don't know where he got it. Your eyes widen, and you check to see if it is even real because you honestly couldn't believe your eyes. The last time he got out, he mysteriously brought back more money. Now, you just let him do as he pleases, hoping he brings back more, and he does. That's why he gets the more expensive cat food.

He's a big boy, but he's just a little lap dog. The moment you sit down, he's in your lap. If Satan or any other of your cats take your lap, no worries, he'll either sit on the side of you or sit on them uncomfortably until they move.

You watch him and Satan fight all the time. It could be just playing if it weren't for the fact that both of them were hissing and growling. So you thought Satan hated his new friend but then you were surprised to see them cuddling together on their half torn up cat tree... To this day you don't know if they like each other or hate each other.

Leviathan(Snowshoe)

He was labeled as an aggressive cat from a shelter you frequent for volunteer work. He seems to tolerate you the most so you are co-workers suggested that you keep him. He follows you around but keeps his distance. Every time you look you see him stare back. When you try to encourage him to come over He just runs away.

It took him a while to warm up to you. Now he's literally a shadow no matter where you are he will be in the same room as you acting like he's always been there, and that he's totally not following you. He only lets you pet him. Only you pet him. He gave poor Minhyeok a good scratch on his arm when he got a little too close to you for comfort.

He only comes to you when you least expect it and when you don't want him! When you're trying to do work suddenly he's all up in your face getting all up on your computer. Or if you have company he will be all up over you or trying to hiss and growl at whoever came into your house.

Beelzebub(Bengal cat)

Just fucking showed up at your house He must have snuck in somehow because you caught him sleeping in your warm laundry. You have no idea where this cat came from and the fact that he is a bengal scared you that is an expensive cat that's an owner must be looking for. But there was no one who recognized him so I guess he's yours??

He wants to go outside again but you didn't let him until you got him microchipped and collared and you're so glad you did because he would leave for hours. Only coming back when it's time to eat. But the weirdest part is when you would always find him when you're outside of your house?? At the grocery store? He's fucking there in the parking lot! At a friend's house a couple streets away? He's scratching at the door wanting to be let in because he knows you're in there!

This little shit steals your food. You had to get child locks on everything because of him! For a cat so smart you can't believe how stupid he is as you find him in the weirdest positions or napping spots. Or just manage to catch him running into a wall at full speed, trying to jump only to not make any traction. Scratching at his reflection, somehow getting on top of a high place in your house, real orange cat stuff.

Lucifer (Norwegian Forest)

Obsessed with licking you. Like grabs your hand and starts grooming you profusely. If you move away he'll try to lick something else. He always tries to go for your hair.

Once he starts laying on you he always starts purring. You don't have to pet him He just starts purring. Especially when he knows you're sick he will sprawl on top of you and just purr as if he's trying to help you feel better.

Along with Mammon probably one of the more chill cats you have You can pick him up carry him and he'll just sit there purring. True gentle giants.

Belphegor (bobtail)

Sleepy boy. You love this boy so much He doesn't cause trouble, He doesn't knock over your things or hiss at your guests. He doesn't come back with dead rodents in his mouth or do anything weird outside. He is a simple boy. He sees a Sunbeam and he sleeps.

It is always a treat to walk into a room and see him sleeping in the most weirdest way possible on any furniture he can. And when he is out he is out He scared the shit out of you once because he felt limp when you tried to wake him up. You've seen along brown haired cat around when you let him nap outside in here backyard... Must be his friend.

Every time you see him actually awake and walking around that's when you remember you have another cat. He tolerates you waking him up and pestering him with your kisses and hugs and baby voice. He loves it even though he looks like he hates it.

Asmodeus (Chantilly Tiffany)

You have gotten so many messages from neighbors about this little every time he manages to scamper out he gets another poor cat in the neighborhood pregnant. You are not rich enough to pay cat food child support for another family who's poor female cat is going to have kittens. Sometimes he'll just bring you kittens from who knows where. You already have Seven cats So you frequently have to go next door to check if the kitten is theirs.

Somehow knows what you're planning because every time you want to take him to the vet he just so happens to disappear... You have not been successful yet.

Other than that he's a very loving cat. Actually he's one of your go-to for introducing children since He surprisingly super good with children. He's very gentle and almost protective.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not putting a bell on my cat?

Cw for discussion of animal death and injury in vague terms.

So I live in a neighborhood with a lot of stray/outdoor cats. In fact, it's sorta that way all over the city. A few weeks ago as of writing this, I picked up a stray because I saw that it had an open wound on its neck; since it was amicable to being handled I decided to take it to the vet to be treated (and neutered, since I'd already gotten hold of it and obviously we don't need more strays.)

Recently, my cat of 15 years (we had him for 15 years, he was about 17-18 though) passed of old age, so I wasn't expecting my family to be willing to take a new cat in so soon. We even still have most of his stuff, so I figured it would be a matter of keeping the stray indoors until it was healed, then letting him go about his business. We all ended up getting attached over his two weeks of recovery though (if anyone is curious, it was a burst absess. While he was there we got him vaccinated and checked for other problems. Aside from ear mites, he was fine) so we got him a microchip, named him, and that was that.

My previous cat was also a rescue, though we picked him up from a shelter. At the time we also had a dog and a dog door, so keeping him inside would have been a logistical struggle we just... didn't care to bother with. By the time the dog passed, he'd had access to the outside for years and we saw no reason to suddenly cut him off from that. We obviously had to keep this new cat completely inside while his staples were in, but the plan was always to open up the dog door once he was healed and let him decide where he wanted to be. I don't like taking care of a litter box, my dad doesn't like the smell of cat, 3/4ths of the house is allergic (though that didn't stop us before), and this cat is much younger than our previous was, and has much more energy (vet estimated him at 6mo-1yr). At the beginning of last week (again, as of writing this) I got the go-ahead from the vet to let him outside and gladly did so. He hasn't gotten the hang of the dog door yet (our previous had the advantage of watching the dog go through to learn how to do it) but will go through open doors/windows and will return to the door or enter through the window if it's still open.

With context out of the way here comes the trouble: our neighbors. Our house is on the corner of the block and to our left is a house that takes tenants every so often. They've been here for as long as I (22m) have been alive and have been a nucance for probably longer than that. Their yard is atrocious, they planted bamboo that grew under the fence and into our property, and the woman who owns the house (presumably. Her husband might but I've never spoken to him) apparently has some moral issue with outdoor cats.

Sometime into owning our previous cat, she suddenly became very concerned with the bird population and insisted that we collar our cat and get him a bell so that he wouldn't catch birds. I'd like to point three things out: 1) our previous cat only had one eye, 2) we had tried to collar him before and he lost every single one so we gave up (breakaway collars so he didn't choke, 3) he caught birds despite both of these facts. Needless to say, I was not fucking thrilled about unsolicited advice from a woman I'd never spoken to, who let her unmitigated mess of invasive plants invade my garden, but whatever. She spoke to my little (10yro) sister about it at the time, only once, and never to me, so it wasn't an issue.

So I let this new cat out, right? I opened the dog door for him and he waltzed right on out, but I wasn't convinced he really knew how to operate it. About an hour or so without hearing him come in, I head through the back door to look for him. I got him from a different neighborhood, across town, while visiting a friend, so I figured I was allowed to be a little worried about him getting lost or overwhelmed. As soon as I step out onto the porch, the neighbor-lady calls over and asks me if my cat got out or I let it out.

I tell her I let him out. She asks me to put a bell on him. In an attempt to remain civil I ask her why. She says something about it being stupid, I ask her why it's stupid, she says cats eat birds and the bird populations are declining. I instantly want to call bull on cats being a leading reason of bird population decline, but I just tell her that I'll have to look that up, and ask her if she saw which way he went. (I'd like my restraint during this interaction noted, thanks.)

Anyway I don't find the cat but I get a good few patrols around the block, and eventually he comes back to the house sometime in the late-night early-morning. He does not use the dog door and waits for me to open the door instead (back door is on the way to the bathroom, I saw his stupid little face pressed against the glass when i went to piss).

I look up bird population decline articles. Most of them mention cats as a factor, along with clear windows. Primary factors are listed as deforestation and invasive species, pesticides, etc. I don't consider getting my cat a collar because I don't appreciate my neighbors input, especially when she's going to be hypocritical and ignore that planting native species may help bird population more than putting out fifty fucking feeders and complaining that the stray cats see her yard as a buffet. Anyway.

I let him out again yesterday, this time through the window in my room, which leads to the back porch. I felt comfortable leaving it open since I work at my desk and would hear if anything not-cat came inside. (Allergies were a problem, but I'd really rather he have a way to get inside if he wanted/needed, and he STILL will not open the dog door on his own. Obviously I'm not helping by continuing to give him alternatives but I am soft-hearted.) Sometime in the evening my dad comes in and tells me that when the cat next comes back, I should keep him inside because "The neighbor lady is being a bitch and I don't want to deal with it." I assume she said something to him, so I agree and when the cat comes in for the night I close the window.

This morning I saw what had ACTUALLY got him.in a twist, because not only did she say something but she printed out and taped a note to our door. Oh, how I would love to send a picture of it here, but I don't know how to embed photos in asks so you'll just have to deal with my transcription:

CAT FACTS

Cats kill birds. Cars kill cats.

Here's some links to look up.

[I won't type the links out. First one is an article titled "how long do outdoor cats live indoor vs outdoor cats" and the second is "faq cats and their effects on birds". I have not read either of these.]

Ask Kelly about Dixie. Ask Jean about Madeline - wait don't - she ran over her with her own car and broke her pelvis because the cat was older and couldn't hear well.

You have a very beautiful young cat. He deserves a safe loving home. Act like you care for your cat or give him to a home that will. I have four indoor cats - three are orange boys. I have a soft spot for orange boy cats. They are very happy as inside cats.

Be responsible.

[Handwritten at the bottom:]

Your cat is sleeping in my backyard. Why are you forcing him to be an outdoor cat!?

[End]

The amount of violent rage this fills me with is unreal. Kelly is our across-the-road neighbor, I assume Jean is another neighbor (I'm bad with names) and I CANNOT imagine that either of them appreciate being. Used like this. Also, I'm very glad her cats are happy indoors but this cat is not, he wants to go outside, he has been crowding the window all morning waiting for me to open it. (I respect me father so I won't, but I disrespect my neighbor so I really, REALLY fucking want to.)

So AITA for disregarding the safety/happiness of my cat and the decline of the bird population by not putting a collar on him and heartlessly forcing him outside? I'm no further inclined to force him indoors or get a collar, especially with her continued insistence, and in fact I'm so far making an active effort to restrain myself from going over and talking to her because I just want to turn it into an argument.

[osohchoso]

Shattered Ice

Chapter Three- Black Flash

Hockey player!Choso x F!reader, ex bf!Toji x F!reader

Previous | Chapter Index | Class list | Next

Content: Hockey AU, College Au, friendly teasing, deep thoughts, alcohol and smoking, SatoSugu mentions, many JJK references lol.

The week went by quickly, and you did everything you could to keep your mind off the impending project you were assigned to complete with Choso. You buried yourself in homework, cleaning the dorm and even volunteered to microchip at a local animal shelter for extra credit. The project was the last thing you wanted to think about. You made no effort in contacting him to set up a time to start it together, but neither had he. The few chances you passed him in the halls, you completely ignored him. Unsure if he tried to make a move to get your attention in return.

Monday would be here again soon, and you needed to think of a realistic plan fast. You weren't sure how long you could fully avoid him when you're trapped in your shared class for an hour once a week.

The day that followed your first public speaking class, you set up a follow-up appointment with Mr. Gakuganji. Marking the email as urgent. Marching right into his office the second he sat behind his desk, an annoyed look plastered on his face like he already anticipated what your next words would be. 

“Please, let me change classes.” You pleaded. It could be a different day, different time, different semester. You didn’t care as long as it got you far away from Choso. Most of your veterinary friends were put into the Wednesday class, if you could get moved to then the class would go by like a breeze. Instead of how it is now. Agonizingly slow while you await impending doom. Waiting for the fallout of last week’s party to catch up to you. 

“No” Your counselor answered sternly, not even bothering to turn his computer on and search the seat availability for the other time slots. 

“But-” You open your mouth to object, the word coming out in a shrill cry before he cuts you off.

“I said no and that's final.” He shut you down, shooting a glare your way. “Look, I don’t care about whatever childish reason you have, you can figure it out on your own. There are no more open spots, deal with it” 

“What if-” You try again, hoping maybe you could drop it for the semester and put it off until the next. Even if that meant a heavier workload next year, you wouldn’t mind if it saved you from this awkward situation. 

“How many times do I need to tell you no? Do I need to spell it out? N. O.” You shut your mouth, jaw clenching, as he raises his voice ever so slightly. It was kind of a shock, you had asked so nicely and expected it to work in your favor. “Do you understand now?” 

“Yes sir” You say shakily, standing up from the chair in his office. You hadn’t expected to feel so humiliated after this meeting.

“Good, don’t bother me with stupid questions again.” He sighed, waving you out of the office. As you walked out, the defeat started to sink in. You were stuck with him.

As the week went on, you attempted to hatch a plan on how to deal with Choso as your partner. You wanted to minimize as much interaction with him as possible, to protect yourself from further embarrassment. Maybe you could do the whole project yourself. All the research, preparing the powerpoint, everything. Choso wouldn’t mind, right? A typical jock would be ecstatic to have someone do all the work for them. As for the speech part, you could write him a script to follow for the presentation. With just the minimal amount of speaking parts to land him a good grade as well. 

But you could work on that later, it was Friday night afterall. 

“You almost ready?” Shoko shouts from the other side of your bedroom door. Tonight you were attending the second home game here at Kaisen University, accompanied by Shoko and Satoru. The pair always goes with you to every game, Satoru because he has to support his boyfriend while Shoko goes just to get drunk. You go for the love of the game. 

“Almost!” You yell back, buttoning up your jeans in front of the mirror. You just needed to find a shirt to wear. Suguru dropped off the skirt you left at the last party earlier this week, cleaned just like Choso promised, but the crop top you wore was missing. Maybe the shirt was ruined beyond repair. It would have been the perfect outfit to wear tonight to support the Curses, oh well. You settle for a red and navy striped crewneck, even if you couldn’t find your official gear you could at least rep the school’s colors.

Stepping out, you see Shoko impatiently waiting by the door. Shoes laced up and purse slung over her shoulder. You step into your shoes and tie them tightly, throwing a glance over to Utahime on the couch. Sitting there in lounge clothes, tapping away at the laptop on the coffee table, brows pinched together.

“You sure you can’t come tonight?” You ask your second roommate. Utahime doesn’t attend as many games as you but she is always such a fun addition when she does. Opposite of the serious girl you see in front of you, hard at work.

“Sorry, I wish I could” She sighs, stretching her back out from her hunched position. “I have a report due at midnight. Honestly , Gojo shouldn’t be going tonight either, I doubt he finished his already.” She spits his name in a way that makes you laugh, those two are always fighting. 

“Wish you could come with us.” Shoko pouts at her friend, reaching for the door handle. She pulls it open and turns her attention back to you. “Come on, Satoru is already at the stadium. He saved us two seats.” Shoko grabs your arm and practically drags you out the front door. 

A quick jog across campus, chilly air nipping at your nose, and you reach the hockey arena. The two of you file inside the stadium, searching the stands for the familiar snow white hair of your friend. He sticks out like a sore thumb against the busy crowd, a beacon during a storm. He had picked some excellent seats to watch the game too, front row beside the home team’s goal. He turns to you as you rush to his side.

“There you two are! You're late! Thought maybe you abandoned me!” He jokingly scolds you, a pair of black circle glasses covering his eyes even though he is indoors. Shoko snatches them off his face, putting them on herself and revealing his piercing blue stare. 

“You know how long this one takes to get ready” Shoko teases, sticking her thumb in your direction. 

“Hey! We made it just in time.” You defend, unable to conceal your smile. You slide past both of them to claim one of the seats, Satoru and Shoko joining you on either side. The game starts only a few minutes later, lights dimming and music booming as the spotlight shines to introduce the team. Crowd erupting in a wave of cheers in all directions. 

“The captain of Kaisen University, the king of Curses in the flesh, Ryomen Sukuna!!” The announcer roars as you watch the team captain skate onto the ice, the spotlight following him around as people chant his dumb nickname. He basks in the praise, pumping his fist in the air.

“More like the disgraced one” you scoff under your breath. Sure, the arrogant man was a great player. A record of goals in his history on the team, but he played dirty. Also holding a record for the most times sent to the penalty box. Known for his bad temper and always itching for a fight. You can't help but roll your eyes as you witness the smug grin he wears during his lap around the rink.

The rest of his team follows him out. You recognize a few of them from your friend circle. Suguru, Yuki, Kento. 

“She’s so hot” Shoko sighs dreamily, watching as the team's first and only female hockey player takes her lap on the ice. Smiling and waving to her adoring fans. Yuki Tsukumo worked hard to get where she was, facing lots of misogyny along the way to stake a claim in a male dominated sport. Now she represents the team skillfully, earning lots of respect from players and fans alike.

“That's my boyfriend!!” Satoru shouts, jumping up from where he sat. He points to Suguru as he passes by, who is pretending like Satoru isn’t screaming his lungs off. Suguru puts a hand in front of his face, trying to block out the embarrassing screams of his number one fan. “Love you Sugu!!” Satoru continues to fan-girl until you grab his wrist and pull him back to sit in his spot.  

Of course you spot Choso, your pupils easily spotting the number 7 printed under his last name on the navy jersey. The gear layered underneath along with the heavy padding covering his limbs only serve to make his already thick build somehow larger. A focused expression behind his helmet, he has entered game mode. Skating over to the goal he calls home, right in front of your seats.

The opposing team strides onto the ice, yellow and white jerseys flash past as they do their own lap. They don’t receive an ounce of the fanfare compared to the home team. The once cheering crowd turned into a chorus of ‘boos’ and taunts.  

The game starts and the excitement is electric. The sharp sound of skates on ice almost puts you in a trance as you watch the game. The away team was good, almost on par with Kaisen University. Every time your team scored a point, they would follow up with one of their own. This would be a close game. 

Your eyes seemed to have a mind of their own though. Instead of being glued to the puck like every game before this one, you find your eyes floating to the home team goalie. Every impressive save, every frustrated fail. Constantly checking to see his reactions throughout the game. Making sure to take in every detail of the man you vowed to avoid. 

Intermission comes and you watch Choso skate to the bench, peeling his helmet off his sweaty head. Long brown locks slick to his flushed face. Perfect lips parted as he squeezed a water bottle for a much needed drink. Off in his own world, probably psychoanalyzing every play of the game up to this point.

“Look! It’s Takaba!” Satrou elbows your side, taking your attention away from the resting goalie. Looking over the ice, you watch as a cartoonish ghost skates. While most teams have a mascot that is a fearsome animal, tigers, sharks or such, your school is known as the Curses. The man inside is Fumihiko Takaba from the theater program, and he does a damn good job of putting on a comedic performance. 

“Ugh, cringe. I’m gonna grab us some drinks, be right back.” Shoko groans as she rises from the seat. Before walking away she hands the circle shades she was still wearing back to their rightful owner. Satoru places them back on his face, turning to you once Shoko was gone. Devilish grin curling across his lips. 

“What’s that stupid look for?” you sigh, digging a finger into his side. Your best friend leans in, his breath brushing against your ear.

“You gonna kiss Kamo again tonight?” He whispers, causing heat to flood to your face, warming your still chilly skin.

“Of course not!” You snap back at him, placing your palm against his forehead to shove his face away. “Why would you even ask that!”

“Come on! You seemed to enjoy it sooo much last time” Satoru is relentless with his teasing. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself.” 

“I’m not interested. I was drunk Satoru” You cross your arms and look away. “You can't hold my drunk self accountable for that.”

“Not interested? You're such a liar” He says it so matter-of-factly, like he knows more than your own heart does. And maybe he does. Swinging your head back to face him, blue orbs peering behind dark glasses, smirk on his face as he awaits your admission. 

“No. I’m not” You double down. 

“Bullshit.” He huffs, causing you to glare. “I see how you have been watching him all night. You can’t keep your eyes off of him. Admit it!” 

You want to come up with a witty retort, something to make him drop this whole conversation once and for all. Yet you come up empty handed, staring at your friend like a fool. Thankfully, Shoko comes to the rescue. 

“I’m back!” She sings, handing a can of beer to each of you. You gratefully accept it, wrapping your fingers around the ice cold can. Taking an eager first sip in hopes of clipping the wings of the butterflies that threaten to take flight in your stomach. 

“You know I hate beer Shoko” Satoru pouts, taking the can and bringing it up to his glossy lips to drink the world's smallest sip. A wince as it travels down his throat.

“Oh, whatever Gojo, you can handle it.” Shoko teases in return, leaving you thankful to be out of the spotlight.

The game resumes, clock ticking down in the last period. The scores are so close, with the Curses only up by one point. Everyone in the stands watches on the edge of their seat, holding their breath as a player from the away team passes the puck to his teammate. The opposing player readies his stick, swinging hard and fast to send the puck hurtling toward the goal. Seconds ticking down on the clock.

If the Kaisen goalie can defend it, the game will be won. Their second game in a row, setting a tone for the rest of the season as menacing champions. If he misses, if the puck flies straight into the net, the game will go into overtime. Judging by the exhausted expressions on the home team’s faces, dragging this game out could cost them. 

The puck was fast, soaring through the air. Speed threatening to break past even the best defenses. It would slip past most goalies easily. 

But Choso wasn’t like most goalies, he was faster, eyes locked on the black blur as it catapulted toward him. Skillfully snatching it mid-flight with his left gloved hand. The loud blaring of the buzzer rings through the air, signaling the end of the last period as Choso holds the caught puck up like a prize. The entire arena erupts in excitement, chanting his name over and over until ‘Let's go Choso’ is the only thing you can hear.

His teammates rush him on the ice, surrounding him in a circle of praises and chants. Hands patting his back and helmet as they congratulate him on that game saving move. 

“That was incredible!’ Even Satoru was hyped after that play, still raving about it as the three of you stood from your seats to head outside. “He was so fast!” 

“Yes, I saw” You and Shoko say in unison, feeling like sardines as you push your way through the crowd. A little claustrophobic as everyone attempts to leave at once. Stepping out into the chilly air outside tasted like sweet relief. 

“Sure you don’t want to kiss him now?” Satoru teased again, obvious that he was only acting like this to get a rise out of you. Though you wouldn’t admit it to him, you kinda did want to. He looked pretty hot during tonight's game, off in his own world where nothing but the puck mattered. The last stunt he pulled only added to his attractiveness in your eyes. 

Though maybe it wasn’t only in your eyes. A group of girls pass by outside, gushing about the Kaisen goalie. One of them convincing the others she was going to get between his sheets tonight. 

“What now?” You asked the group after standing out in the cold for a few minutes, watching as Shoko sticks an unlit cigarette between her lips. Her other hand fumbling for a lighter in her jacket. She was wearing Satoru's glasses again, you didn't even notice her steal them this time. A running gag between the two of them since the beginning of their friendship. 

“Dunno. Suguru said the house is still trashed from last week so no party there” She responds, irritation seeping through as she comes up empty handed in her quest for a lighter. You turn to Satoru, about to ask if he has any ideas. But you stop, watching as the familiar face of his boyfriend stalking behind your best friend. A finger pressed to his lips as he warns you not to give away his presence. 

“Guess who!” He purrs, lips pressed against his white hair as he covers Satrou’s blue eyes with two hands.

“Suguru!” Satoru spins around, throwing his arms around his dark-haired boyfriend to pepper his cheek in kisses. You gag loudly, making sure they remember that you and Shoko are still right here. They break apart, Suguru fishing a lighter out of his pocket and extending his arm in offering for Shoko. Your friend greedily snatches it up, lighting the cigarette and inhaling deeply. 

“That really was a great game” You tell your hockey playing friend, his dark hair pulled in a still damp bun from his quick shower in the locker room. Changed out of his jersey and into a casual jean and jacket combo “Congratulations on another win” Suguru smiles at your praise, pulling you into a side hug.

“Thanks! We hope to go undefeated this season.” He explains, and with the roster they have, it's definitely possible. “Do you guys want to head to the bar with us? The team is heading to Boogie Woogie to celebrate.” Shoko’s eyes light up, nodding as she presses the still burning cigarette to the cold metal railing. 

“Of course we want to go! Who do you think we are!” She flicks the cigarette away, wrapping an arm around yours. 

“Alright, let's head out then” Suguru laces his fingers with Satoru, leading the group toward the parking lot. His sleek black car sticks out like a sore thumb against the others, Satoru definitely splurged just a bit on his boyfriend’s last birthday. You and Shoko climb into the back seat, the booming music doing little to block out their shameless flirting on the ride.

Boogie Woogie was the best college bar around. Not far from campus and huge supporters of the hockey team, which made it the obvious choice for an after party. Every winning game they supply the team with a round of celebratory beers, and every losing game two rounds of shots to numb the pain. Game nights they also served a special concoction they called ‘Black Flash’, a mix of delicious fruity flavors that resulted in an odd black-red color. 

The strobing blue and red neon lights greet you as you walk up to the brick building. The roars of celebrating and deafening music assault your ears before you even step through the front door. This place was sort of a tradition after games for everyone, not just the hockey team, of course it would be crowded tonight. 

The second you enter, your group of four splits in separate ways. Suguru drags Satoru across the bar without even muttering so much as a goodbye to you, forcing your white-haired best friend to socialize with Suguru’s hockey pals Kento and Miguel. You turn your head back to Shoko, at least you still have her by your side. Or so you thought. 

She seemed to vanish out of thin air, teleported away. You let out a lengthy sigh, they always find a way to abandon you it seems. You'll track Shoko down later, first you need to get a drink in you. 

You make your way over to the bar counter, hopping up onto the stool and resting an arm on the sticky wood surface. Your other hand waves to one of the bartenders on duty, Yu Haibara. He passes a beer to a patron then rushes to you, calling your name.

“Hey! How are you!” The brown-haired boy greets you, leaning over the counter to wrap you in a hug. 

“I’m good, how are you?” You smile. You met Yu last year when he joined Kaisen University as a freshman. He tried out for the hockey team but they picked his best friend Kento instead, so Yu decided to do the next best thing. Getting a part-time job at the most hockey obsessed bar in town. Everynight you joined the team here after, Yu was there. Always so friendly and easy to talk to too, causing you to befriend him quickly. 

“I’m great!” He pulls away from the embrace, grabbing a nearby silver shaker. You don’t even have to ask for your drink, he knows what you're here for. “I’m loving all my classes this year, making lots of friends. Oh! Kento is going to help me practice so maybe I can join the hockey team next year!” He doesn’t ever pause as he speaks, spitting out every thought at record pace. All while expertly flicking his wrists, shaking a mixture of liquor and juice above his head.

“That’s great Yu! I look forward to watching you soon.” You encourage him with a genuine smile, watching as he pours the deep red liquid into a highball glass. Before he passes the drink over, he has to add the finishing touch. Topping off the cup with a shiny cherry and a sprig of mint.

“Black flash!” He shouts, setting the drink in front of you. Proud of his creation, like this isn’t the eighth black flash he's made in the last hour. 

“Thanks” You smile at him, sliding some cash across the counter. You bring your lips to the straw. The taste of black cherries, pomegranates and diverse rums flood your taste buds. Such a sweet drink for the game’s sweet victory. “Hey, have you seen Shoko?” You question him. Yu squints his eyes, tapping his chin with a finger as he scans the bar. 

“There!” he exclaims, pointing across the bar. You follow his finger, past the chattering crowd and already drunk hockey players. Against the far wall is a pool table, Shoko is drinking a beer and leaning a hip against the side, cue stick in her other hand. Watching as Yuki takes her turn, knocking a striped ball into the corner pocket.

“Thanks, talk to you later. I should go join them.” You hop down from the barstool and walk in the direction of the two girls, drink in hand. You keep your eyes down as you force your way through the packed bar. Catching bits and pieces of conversations as you passed. Lips around the straw, fully engrossed in your drink as you walk. Shoko has a sort of obsession with the tall blonde, and honestly, can you blame her?

Due to your lack of awareness, you ran right into someone’s hard chest. Red liquid from your cup spraying over the muscles concealed by a tight white shirt. Quickly soaking through and reaching the victim’s skin below. 

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” You quickly set your now empty cup down on a nearby table and grab a wad of napkins. Pressing them against the wet fabric to soak it up, feeling the muscles contract underneath your touch. “It was an accident I swear” You look up to see the face of your poor unsuspecting target. 

Choso. 

For a second, he looked slightly upset. His dark brows drawn together as he scowls down at you. But the second he realized it was you, the resentment vanished. A softer expression paired with a smirk now in play.

“Maybe you should look where you're going,” He teases. So much for your plan to avoid him. You retract your hand to look at the stain, sticking out like blood on snow. 

“I’m really sorry, I’ll replace it.” You promise, shoving the soiled napkins inside your empty cup. He pinched his shirt, examining the damage himself. 

“Don’t worry about it, my fault for wearing a white shirt to this place.” He shrugs, indifferent to the ordeal. His eyes lift from your face, tracking the movements of someone shuffling behind you. In one swift movement, Choso wraps a large arm around your shoulders, pulling him flat against his broad chest. From the corner of your eye, you watch a silver-haired boy tumble to the ground, spilling his beer all over the floor where you had just been standing. “See what I mean” Choso laughs, releasing you from his grip.

You laugh awkwardly, not sure what even to say. First you make a mess all over him and then he saves you from encountering the same fate. 

“Let me buy you a drink.” You blurt out, catching his attention. “Partly for my accident, but partly to celebrate the great game you played.” He stares at you, bored. For a moment, you weren't sure if your words even reached his ears until he muttered a quiet:

“Sure.” 

He followed you through the crowd and back to the bar, the two of you sitting side by side. You wave Yu over, who whipped up another Black Flash to replace the one you spilled and slid a frosty mug of beer to Choso. 

The two of you drink in silence. You want to say something, but you're not sure where to start. There is too much weighing on your thoughts, dragging you down. The party last weekend, the upcoming project, tonight’s spill. As you sip the fruity drink, you notice him watching from the corner of your eye. Stealing glances your way, thinking you won't notice, while he waits for you to start speaking. When you continue to stay silent, he turns toward you on the bar stool, opening his mouth to make the first move. 

“Kamo! Get over here!” A loud male voice interrupts him before he can get his own words out. You both turn to see one of the hockey players, a tired looking man with a hooked nose. An indifferent look on his face that rivals even Choso’s usual expression, but the man’s skin is slightly flushed, indicating just how intoxicated he is. “Sukuna wants to give a speech.” 

“Be there in a second, Hiromi” He tells the man before turning to you. “Sorry, talk to you later.” Choso stands up with his beer and walks off to join the growing crowd of his teammates, throwing his arms around the man he called Hiromi and the younger silver-haired boy from earlier. 

“See you” You whisper quietly, turning back to face the bar. You let out an exaggerated sigh, washing away your worries with a large sip of your drink. 

“Geez, what’s got you down?” Yu’s voice grabs your attention as he wipes the counter in front of you with a wet rag. 

“Nothing...just..” The sound of the team cheering in the background cuts you off, allowing you time to hesitate, but Yu gives you a pleading look. Resembling a puppy begging for one more treat, the expression forces a smile to your face. In turn, you give in. Spilling every embarrassing detail from the last week and the plan to avoid Choso. He gives you his full attention, only pausing when another customer orders something at the bar. 

“That’s dumb” He says with a laugh after you finally finish your tale.

“I’m sorry?” you half-laugh, shocked by his reaction. You had just poured your soul out for him and he responded with two simple words.

“Well…it’s just silly.” He explains, picking up your empty glass and shaking it. A silent ask for if you want a refill, you shake your head no. “ Who hasn’t done a couple of stupid things drunk. Plus, I don't think Choso cares. I doubt he thinks differently of you after one crazy night, he’s actually a really nice guy, just a bit quiet. Give him a chance. Plus, I don’t think you'll succeed in ignoring him forever. You're just going to keep running into him like you did tonight.” Yu points out the facts, his voice gentle as he speaks factually. 

Reality sets in. It will be unrealistic to keep avoiding him. Kaisen University isn’t the biggest school, everyone’s friend circles seem to connect in one way or another. Lately, you can’t stop encountering the goalie. The longer you put it off, the more awkward things will become in the long run. Who knows, maybe you and Choso could end up a great pair. Two good friends if given the shot. You're going to have to rip the bandaid off eventually and face your fears. 

But not today.

“Thanks” You smile at him again, talking with the kind bartender was always helpful. Yu has always been a good listener, offering you helpful advice in turn. You notice the time on the clock behind the counter, it’s getting late. “I should probably go find Shoko” You tell him as you slip off of the barstool.

“See you later!” he calls after you, picking up your empty glass to clean.

You wander around the bar, looking around for your brunette friend. She was no longer playing pool and she wasn’t hanging around Yuki either. You checked the bathroom and she also wasn't there. Probably outside smoking a cigarette . You tell yourself, walking toward the metal door in the back of the bar that leads to the alley. You push through it, the door slamming shut behind you. 

Outside in the chilly air, you don't spot your friend at all. Instead, you see Choso again. He’s the only one out here, leaning against the brick wall with one foot pressed against the building. His head tilted up, eyes stuck on the moon as he blew out a puff of smoke from the cigarette between his fingers. The moonlight casts a glow on his features that make him look so ethereal, too beautiful for this world. 

You froze as you stared at him, torn between saying something or sneaking back inside unnoticed. Though the slamming door had other plans. The loud metallic clang alerted Choso, causing him to flinch, snapping his head to meet you. His eyes lock onto yours, looking even more tired than usual.

“Hey…” He whispers, exhaustion dripping from his tone.

“Hey.” You echo. Too late to escape now. You walk until you're standing next to him, back pressed against the wall to mirror him. He turns back to the moon, inhaling deeply on his cigarette. Silence spreads over the two of you, the only sounds are the crickets and the occasional car passing by. 

“Do you ever feel like…like you aren’t who you are meant to be?” Choso is the first to speak, eyes still on the night sky. The unprompted seriousness startles you, he doesn’t even give you time to respond before speaking again. “I’m just so tired all the time…trying to be someone I'm not. Everyone has such crazy expectations of me, to be the best at all times. The best student, the best goalie. They expect me to be some shining star in the center of the universe.”

He takes another long drag of his cigarette, the glittering cosmos above reflecting in his dark gaze.

“But…what happens when that star burns out?” He finally turns to face you, the true weight of his exhaustion etched into the bags under his eyes. His skin pale and dull, looking almost corpse-like now that you see him fully. How long has he been feeling this way?

“Choso…I…” You trail off, not even sure what you can say right now. In all truth, you have never felt this way. Your whole life there was always someone praising you, telling you how proud they were of your accomplishments. And even when you failed, you were comforted, being told ‘there is always next time’. You always felt like you belonged, like you were right where you needed to be. Always felt invincible, like you could do anything your heart desired and never gave up on your dreams. How could you say anything when you can’t relate? 

“Nevermind” He shakes his head when you fail to vocalize an encouraging notion, dismissing his suffocating thoughts. “Please…just forget I said that. Didn't mean to get all deep on you.” He quickly replaces his frown with a tiny welcoming smile, a mask to hide his internal turmoil. 

“Choso…no…” You reach out, wrapping a hand around his bare bicep. The sudden contact causes goosebumps to prick along his skin underneath your palm. “If something is wrong, you can tell me.” You lean against him, looking up into his eyes where you can still see the swirling turmoil. He whispers your name softly, shaking his head no.

“Everything is fine.” He tries to assure you. “We are supposed to be celebrating after all, I don’t want to bring the mood down.” He takes one more hit on his cigarette, turning his head to blow the smoke away from you, then pressing it against the wall to extinguish it. 

“Choso..” You plead, not wanting to give up. He is hurting internally, you can tell it.  

“It’s fine. I really don’t want to talk about it.” He stops you sharply, any follow up questions you had die before you can speak them. 

He suddenly brings his face close to yours, so close you can taste the harsh tobacco off his tongue. He narrows his eyes, looking at your parted lips. Your heart stutters inside your chest.

“Your lips…” He trails off, shamelessly staring. Successful in shifting the conversation away from himself. “They are all…red.” he remarks. A side effect of the black flash, that crimson liquid always stains everything. Counter tops, clothes, lips…you name it. 

“Yeah, it’s from the drink” You raise your thumb up, swiping it across your bottom lip in hopes of lessening the stain. His eyes track every movement, a wolf hunting his prey. He swallows hard before backing up, creating distance that is instantly filled with the cold autumn breeze. He shivers, likely regretting not wearing a jacket for his quick smoke break. 

“I should head back inside.” He walks toward the door leading back to the bar.

“Me too” You admit, palms slightly sweaty from his closeness, despite the low temperature. He holds the door open for you then follows you in. Offering a slight wave before he heads off to find his teammates again. 

You depart back on your quest of finding Shoko. Wandering around, checking all the usual places she runs off to and coming up empty handed. Come to think about it, you haven't seen the white and black hairs of your friends Satoru or Suguru either. Not since arriving. The bar patrons are starting to thin out too, many guests heading home for the night. You stand off to the side, in the dark corner where the broken pinball game sits, worry gripping your stomach as you pull out your phone and check the messages. Opening it to see a string of five texts and a few missed calls while you were outside with Choso.

[Missed call from Shoko]

Shoko: Where are you???

Shoko: Suguru wants to leave soon

Shoko: Hello??

Shoko: Satoru has a headache, we are leaving now

[Missed call from Suguru]

Shoko: Guess we are leaving without you

Great, they left you stranded. Again.

The sudden grip of a large hand on your shoulder drags you out of your thoughts, sending a shiver down your spine. Finger pads pressing into your skin through the cloth of your shirt.

“You look lost.”

Taglist: @v1x3n @lavenderdaydream97 @simplyraeblue

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope eveyone is having a great holiday. Have a happy and safe New year!

Also, if you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know! :)

[charliemwrites]

Woof woof yall.

No content warnings

You’re out in the woods one day, taking photos and going for a little hike. Stupid mental health walk or something; whatever, it’s a nice day and you’ve gotten some good shots. You’re just about to turn back when a huge brown and black wolf lopes out from a nearby thicket.

There aren’t any wolves in England though! Hunted to extinction - it’s why you feel safe bebopping around the forest alone in the daylight. So you see this big fuck-off sized “dog” and coo at the pretty puppy.

“Hello handsome boy, aren’t you just gorgeous! Will you come say hi?”

You do all the right things that you’re supposed to do with an unfamiliar dog but he just barges right through. Trots up to you, nose shoved into your crotch. You startle, bark a laugh, shove at his big stupid head.

“A little forward,” you tease, scratching under his chin, “but it’s better than biting.”

You feel all around his neck for a collar, but no luck. He must be someone’s though, huge blue eyes too intelligent and focused on your words. And his coat is so well maintained, glossy and shedded.

“Do you know how to… sit?”

An adorable head tilt, and the big dog settles onto his hind quarters.

“What a good boy!” you croon. “So smart!”

He licks at your palm and wrist as you scratch at him, huge tail thumping. A canine grin, tongue lolling out as he waits for your next command.

You hum.

“Well, guess we can check if you’re microchipped, huh? Or at least I can get you some water. See if someone recognizes you…”

You make a kissy noise at him. “Let’s go, big boy. Come.”

And to your delight, he falls into step with you. He weaves along the path ahead and behind, but always loops back to you, brushing against your thigh as if to reassure you he’s still there.

You hum as you walk, giggling when you see his ears twitch and swivel towards you. Tease that he should do better if he doesn’t like your version of Jolene.

You only cross paths with two other people on the walk, a pair of guys clearly out for a more serious hike. The dog plants himself between you and them, ears pinning back and a low growl erupting from his chest. You startle a bit, carefully burying your fingers around his scruff in case you need to grab him quickly.

“I’m guessing he doesn’t belong to either of you, then?” you ask.

One of the guys shakes his head. The other gives you an odd look. “He’s not yours?”

The dog barks, loud and rough. You shush him, explain the situation to the hikers. But the dog never stops rumbling and they quickly go on their way, keeping a wide berth.

You huff. “Don’t like men, huh?”

Poor thing. Maybe he was abandoned by a mean owner?

“S’alright, bud, I’ll be good to you.”

He follows you all the way back to your home. And when you open the door, shoulders right past you.

“Ah, shit,” you groan. “You weren’t supposed to come in!”

He gives you an almost betrayed look. You try not to huff in amusement.

“So help me, if you bring nasty things in this house I will shave you. Shave you. You’ll look so silly. Like an overgrown raw turkey.”

The dog turns, trots back to you. You didn’t realize just how big he is until he’s got his big paws on your shoulders. You blink, have to take a step back to brace against the weight of him. In his hind legs he’s taller than you. Really could pass for a pure bred wolf.

A big, rough tongue licks from your jaw to your forehead. You scrunch up your face but end up laying a kiss on his muzzle in return.

“Alright, you big nasty. Down you get.”

You shut and lock the door behind you, brushing leaves and dirt off.

“Okay, shower first,” you say aloud, already tugging off your clothes. “Then we’ll run into town, see if we can track down your family.”

You don’t mind the dog staring, unblinking, as you strip down right there, balling things up to avoid tracking a mess through the house. Nor do you mind him following you to the bathroom, though you do push at his snout when he licks the back of your knee. Just normal dog things, really. They don’t get people stuff like clothes or boundaries.

“Stay out of trouble, bud. I’ll be right out.”

As you wash up, you consider the merits of adopting. Only if you can’t find the dog’s actual family, that is. It’s lonely in your little house sometimes - and a bit spooky at night. A big, protective dog might be just the thing.

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