#how are we thirsting over a FANFIC FICTIONAL CHARACTER I JUST---

[rookinthecrownest]

🖊️ + the oc closest to your heart via dragon age (the one you always go back to)

Oh! This was a bit of a tough one anon, but I have to say, Madeleina takes it <3 Let me explain why under the cut, and under this little doodle of Mads and Lucanis I whipped up in like 15 min (excuse the ... everything)

Ok so why is Madeleina so special to me - well, I consider all my DA OC's special to me bc this game has been a huge part of my life - literally for over a decade now - but I digress, she's special to me for a few reasons.

Not gonna lie chat, this year has been one of the hardest year's of my life. The release of DATV, which I'd been waiting for since Inquisition finished up with tresspasser (like many of you), was something I was really looking forward to. And I NEEDED. In many ways, this game saved me.

She was the first Rook. The first one I took with me on this crazy journey. And as I played the game and romanced Lucanis for the first time - I dunno, I can't explain how much of a chokehold Madeleina and Rookanis had on me.

I initially made this blog just to keep up to date with DATV release news, but they made me want to post my art and my writing. And I'd never really tried to write fanfic before, but I started writing the Bedtime Stories for a Demon fic, where Madeleina and Lucanis fall in love over stories from all over Thedas (fairy tales that I adapted for the DA setting). And I had so much fun with it! As I wrote it I fell more and more in love with the character and the pairing.

I can only speak for myself but I think a lot of ppl would agree that Rookanis is a great ship because of like...how soft and tender and loving it is, and how it's the little things they do for each other that's the focus. The understanding, the comfort. Not that we haven't had that in other DA romances but Lucanis' romance hits different? It's just like, so sweet, I want to cry. They're SOOO important to me it's almost silly.

They fall in love over fairy tales but their love story is the greatest fairy tale that will ever be told.

The Charming Rogue and the Hapless Hero!

To focus more on Madeleina herself for a bit, she's also important to me because she's kind of an amalgamation of a few different disney/fairy tale princesses. She has Cinderella's optimism, Rapunzel's quick wits and humour (and long hair!!), Ariel's curiosity and thirst for knowledge. With my other DA OC's, I've made them more... gritty. More suited to a dark fantasy setting. So Madeleina is important to me because she's so relentlessly positive and loving and kind and genuine, like the princesses I grew up watching. They were a source of comfort for me when I was young and going through tough times, like Mads has been a source of comfort for me as a grown up.

I've always been a lover of stories, and I think hers and Lucanis' is my favourite story in all of fiction.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling (even though the point of these asks was to gush/ramble haha).

Thank you for the ask anon!

[gauntletgirlie]

Get to know your Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @perlen-gold, even though I’m just an unhinged follower obsessed with your writing 🙈 I started my own chain so your original post wouldn’t get too long.

What's the origin of your blog's title? My thirst for Adar and the gauntlet kink he inspired.

Favorite Fandoms: I have a lot, but The Silmarillion/The Lord of the Rings/The Rings of Power are my main ones I always fall back on.

OTP(s) + shipname: I’m a self shipper so me + whomever I’m obsessed with (currently Melkor, Adar, and Gil-galad) but also more recently:

Melkor x Mairon (Angbang)

Adar x Celebrimbor (Silverscars)

Favorite color: Orange (also partial to purple and dark green).

Favorite game: Hero Quest (I’m not a console gamer. Though I did enjoy watching my husband play Horizon Zero Dawn).

Song stuck in your head: Dog Days (Are Over) by Florence and The Machine.

Weirdest habit/trait? Oh boy, where to begin… I make random noises, I meep like Beaker to songs, laugh at my own jokes… I’m just a weird person altogether folks.

Hobbies: Writing, visiting places of historical interest, I also used to be an avid reader but then motherhood robbed me of my energy and concentration. I listen to audiobooks more now.

If you work, what's your profession? I write scientific reports and run data tables for an Early Drug Development CRO, which is as fun as it sounds. I’m also a mother. Everything you’ve heard about motherhood is true and also a lie.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I would be rich enough not to need to work 🤷🏻‍♀️ or working on a petting farm would be cute.

Something you're good at: Berating myself. Encouraging others/being a cheerleader. Also writing, I hope 🙈

Something you're bad at: Most things, but especially anything requiring mathematics or physical exercise.

Something you excel at: Being a silly goose 😏thirsting over fictional characters 🙈 and raging at injustices. Erm, I think that’s about it. How tragic for me 😂

Something you love: The community I’ve found here on Tumblr 🫶🏼 period dramas, Dracula, and tattoos (I have none of my own… yet).

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Mormonism, The Wars of the Roses, the people I love.

Something you hate: Injustice, mayonnaise, and corsets improperly portrayed in period drama.

Something you collect: Cuddly toy bats, and more characters to thirst over (I need help).

Something you forget: That motherhood is difficult so to give myself more grace.

What's your love language? I don’t adhere to love languages, but I guess genuine connection over similar interests, banter/in-jokes.

Favorite movie/show: Aaahhh don’t make me choose! It’s always changing.

Favorite food: Galaxy Cookie Crumble, Mini Eggs, Yorkshire puddings, and pizza.

Favorite animal: Bats 🦇

Are you musical? I can hold a tune and I played flute as a kid, otherwise sadly no.

What were you like as a child? Intelligent, saw everything in black and white, more artistic, more outgoing.

Favorite subject at school? History and art.

Least favorite subject? Maths and PE.

What's your best character trait? I like to think I’m kind and understanding.

What's your worst character trait? I can be so incredibly lazy.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? More sleep. Always more sleep.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Bram Stoker. I’d also love to meet my mum as a young woman, I think we would have had fun.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

Come by @perlen-gold (Angbang)

Of Convenience by @greenleaf4stuff (Silverscars)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

Melkor/Morgoth

Adar

Gil-Galad (TROP)

No pressure tags for @greenleaf4stuff, @valar-did-me-wrong, @strifes13, @wowstrawberrycow, @iwanderbecauseimlost, @withallthatisleftofmyheart, @calmlyy-chaotiic, @margauxmara, @varda-starqueen, @saffronstories, @gingeragenda, @gracefallingart, @dwarveslikeshinythings, @whenimaunicorn, @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 and anyone else who would like to play! Sorry if I missed anyone.

[smokersbaby]

Hello :D first of all, I love your Tumblr blog and writing, your posts about Smoker make me feel butterflies in my tummy. (Yeah, he deserves more love, he's such an underrated character and husband material, so I'm really happy to read all your writing about him ✨) Sorry for not sending a request or leaving a comment sooner (I was nervous because I don't speak italian, my native language is spanish, and I'm insecure about my english knowlege 🙏) I'm so excited to see blogs like yours, Smoker is my favorite One Piece character and let's say he was my unexpected fictional crush from the series haha. (He is such a handsome, kind, righteous and complex character, I feel an unhealthy amount of love for him😭)

So, after all that thirst for Smoker, the request. Do you have some thoughts or headcanons of him being a husband or even a father? I've noticed that people often forget that he is such a sweet man with children and that side of him just melts my heart. (The moment with the ice cream little girl in Loguetown made me fall in love with him in the first place💖)

Thanks for all the love and effort you put in your writing :D you don't need to answer my request if you don't feel comfortable with it so feel free to ignore it, I will understand 👍🏻✨ And keep on writing, you're doing amazing🌟

Thank you so much for all your kind words! Don't you worry about the language since I'm the first one who makes a lot of errors here! Moreover, my sister lives in Spain so when she comes to Italy with her little daughter we speak in Spanish (at least I try).

Smoker is the perfect husband material, I'm sorry if I haven't written more SFW about him until now but I didn't have the chance, so I am more than happy to expose him like that! (that scene in Loguetown lives in my head/heart rent free and I go look at it every time I'm sad, just to let you know) 💕

Characters: Smoker TW: mention of sex (intimate moments part) Notes: if you love Smoker and need some comfort, this is the perfect fanfic for you, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it 💕

-> As a husband <-

Jealousy -> he isn't the kind of person that demonstrates openly how jealous he is towards you when someone else gives you attention (there will not be jealousy dramas), but he'll look at the other person with a deadly look from distance. He is jealous of you, more than you could imagine, he can't think of you in someone else's arms.

Sleeping together -> He loves when you use his chest as a pillow (and you love poking and squeezing his boobies too, let's say that), with his arms caressing your back when you fall asleep on him. He doesn't move a muscle when you nap, even though he grunts as he starts to feel his arms getting dizzy from the uncomfortable position due to your weight on him. He snores when he sleeps (sorry for that) and can be a quite heavy sleeper when it's with you (the opposite happens when he has a mission and must be alert).

Protection -> do you remember Smoker saying "you ain't laying a finger on my soldiers!" when he fights pirates? Well, he's protective towards you as well, but hundred times as much! Nobody could harm you when you are with him, if someone does, that person would be torn apart within minutes.

Cuddles -> he doesn't demonstrate his love in public, and Smoker blushes a lot trying to stay calm when you try to do mushy stuff with him in front of people. But, when you two are alone, he loves cuddling you whenever he has the opportunity. The thing he loves the most is hugging you from behind and placing his chin over your head as he does so, it happens almost whenever you are in the kitchen cooking or just brushing your teeth in the bathroom.

Cooking -> Smoker is not the best cook in the couple, he tried a lot of times and with a huge effort trying to impress you but he ended up throwing away a lot of pans since they were almost burnt or too difficult to clean after he finished. Once he gave you the only edible meal he cooked and he thought you were joking as you told him that it was quite good.

Living together -> Smoker never thought he could enjoy living with someone else this much. Since you two moved in together, he started to do everything with you, most of all because his work schedule it's quite strict and he tries to spend time with you as much as possible in your shared house. He's quite an organized person, if you thought he might be messy with clothes you're wrong: it's mostly the times he reproaches you for not putting your things in order (he's a marine after all, what did you expect?)

Going out -> He loves taking you out to play pool with him. He can't help but chuckle seeing you try your best and lose against him. When you make mistakes missing the balls with the billiard clues Smoker laughs a bit, but just because he can use this opportunity as his advance, placing his hands on your waist trying to teach you how to play properly (of course most of the time you pretend you can't play to make him approach you).

Intimate moments -> He's intense, for real. He won't let you leave the bedroom until he satisfies every desire of yours (it's him that insists to do that, not you). He loves your body and kisses every inch of you before using his mouth to make you see stars. Smoker adores you when you ride him taking the lead since he's accustomed to giving orders in his job, it's like a kind of role reversal to him. He can be a little bit rough at times in bed, grabbing you by your thighs and leaving small bites on your neck, but he won't ever push you beyond your limits. Smoker also loves when you ask him to spank your butt since he can't take his hands off of it. He has a slightly praising kink and loves telling you how good you are at taking him all inside of you.

-> As a father <-

Smoking -> he doesn't smoke around you when you are pregnant as doesn't smoke around his children since his family is the top priority to him, but since his kids want to be with their dad all the time he's quite stressed about abstinence from smoke.

Protection -> Good luck to everyone who tries to harm his children, no one could ever think about such a thing, and when the idea of someone harming his children comes into Smoker's mind, he can't help but think about all the things he would do to make these people pay in the most atrocious ways.

Boy or girl? -> He wants a girl, definitely, but he'll be hella protective towards her when she starts growing up. He'll treat her like her little princess and bring her on his shoulder every time he can. Smoker can't resist but give her all she wants, even when he knows he shouldn't spoil her but he can't say no to his little princess.

Cherishes your body -> There's no need to be insecure about your body after giving birth since he'll love every curve of yours during and after pregnancy: every pound you gained in the 9 months is a pound more for him to love. Your stretchmarks are just a sign of you bringing to this world his child. He doesn't care if your body changed after the birth of your babies, this is just another reason to make you feel appreciated more than before since he can't see you sad about it and won't ever let it happen.

Finds time to stay with you -> Probably it won't be easy for you two to find time for yourself when you both have children to take care of and he's away in marine missions for days. But when you finally find a little bit of time to spend alone with Smoker it's like when you were just married, snuggling in bed as he gives you all the attention he can to the person he loves the most.

Playtime -> Smoker tries to find time to play with them, which can be kinda difficult at times because of his job. His children love pranking him while he's busy or distracted. Smoker sighs and puts on a (fake) grunt on his face as this happens and then starts chasing them playfully all over the house. They love pretending to be pirates escaping from the big marine that is their father, Smoker plays along but he's kinda worried when he sees his children enjoying this game, he hopes with all his heart that his kids won't ever become pirates.

When the kids grow up -> He teaches them the difference between what's right and what's simple, which can be difficult since he has seen so many people taking the wrong way in life, but he tries to not push them about it since he knows he'll probably get the opposite reaction from them. He loves his children so much and is a little bit scared of them growing up, Smoker wants the best for them.

[that-wildwolf]

how does fanon get Shakarian wrong? 👀👀

*inhales*

I'm gonna start off by saying that I'm a turianfucker too and turians are hot and I get the thirst I get y'all

BUT

too many people are attracted to turians and want a turian romance so badly that they ignore Garrus's entire character for the sake of getting a turian romance and just basically strip him down to nothing but his species. People who are into turians and have a primal kink or something, which like. I also get I'm a monsterfucker too that's fun. are also projecting too much of that kink onto turians and Garrus specifically because Garrus is just unlucky enough to be the romance option. People write a generic alien/human relationship while ignoring most of what the Shakarian dynamic looks like in canon because. Well I actually don't know why. But the amount of turian/human fics, and yes, Shakarian too, that include some kind of "turians are a bit feral or actually aggressive/possessive" take is terrifying. Have we played the same games? Turians are literally described over and over as uptight having a stick in their ass sticklers for the rules. Garrus is an awkward nerd who doesn't know how to flirt with his girlfriend. Even when he he does the evil he does it in the most rule-obedient way possible. He's a mess and he relies on Shepard a bit too much especially in the first two games. This man is NOT the growly dominant alien character insert you want him to be I'm sorry. Turians have 15,000 more years of civilisation than humans. They are not going to be feral creatures just because they have sharper teeth. The human would be the primitive uncivilised alien in a turian/human relationship if you need someone to fill that role (also, why would you?).

Not to mention Shepard being treated as a self-insert which is. well it is a lot more forgivable in my eyes, but even as an RPG PC, Shepard still has a lot of distinct character. I think this is the first time since playing The Walking Dead that I've seen a player character with such a strong personality despite the genre forcing her to be different things.

To be fair I think a lot of the problems with fanon characterization of not only Shakarian but pretty much everyone who gets commonly mischaracterized (look at the woobification of Tali) could be fixed by regularly checking back in with the source material instead of, which I understand and can also be guilty of sometimes, immersing yourself in more and more layers of fanfic until you can't tell apart the fanon Shakarian from the canon Shakarian.

Dishonourable mentions (things that aren't common bad fandom practice but bother me personally): sub Shepard and actually worse yet dom Garrus, any AU where Garrus is a human (like??? lmao. his entire personality and conflict is driven by him being a turian, that is so central to his character that I can't imagine why you would take that away and think that's the same person), Shakarian retiring to the beach (Garrus said tropical. He didn't say beach. He hates swimming he would drown save him)

Also obviously this should go without saying, but there are TONS of great fanfics about Shakarian out there. This is just a list of what people get wrong that I wrote in like ten minutes on my phone sitting on the floor in my kitchen. It's not some magic truth scroll of fandom transgressions. Also obviously everyone is free to interpret fictional characters however they want even if it's different from the source material. Sometimes ignoring canon is better, trust me. Do whatever you want and don't let me spoil your fandom experience for you.

But yeah

TL;DR: I think that Shakarian and Garrus in particular suffers a lot from Garrus being the only turian romance in the games.

[just-antithings]

I cannot understand how there are antis in fandoms like Call of Duty. Because by their logic, they support the military, military propaganda, private military contractors and the many war crimes the characters commit. But that's not the case for the majority of the fandom (I hope)(fandom ≠ fanbase*).

On one hand, there have been rightful call out posts on how people simp for ACTUAL ACTIVE military personnel who are from very conservative countries and would spit in the fans' faces, if not worse, the moment they learn how gay the fandom is. Not to mention actual war criminals simps. A lot of people are vocal about how it's okay to like and thirst over the characters because they are just characters and their questionable actions do not have consequences for real people.

On the other hand, some are very hateful towards the opposing team of the main characters and their leader and people have genuinely been harassed for liking him, especially around the time he was added as an operator to the multiplayer mode. Which goes against let people like their little funky war criminals. What they actually mean is it's fine if you like THEIR faves, not just anyone's fave. This hypocrisy is definitely going to get worse with the new game coming out later this year, mark my words.

And that's just the premise of the game, if we get into shipping, most popular ships are between superior/subordinate and that in the real military can get dangerous very quickly, abuse of power is horrific there. On top of that a lot of countries actually forbid relationships with fellow soldiers. But you can say hey, it's just fiction, it doesn't matter to that. As a creator you can choose to overrule this ban, use it as a plot point or conflict, or say fuck it, the characters are too important assets to their big bosses for them to care to punish anyone.

So yes, antis are hypocrites wow what a surprise.

*Fandom not fanbase because I consider the fandom to be the content creation part like fanfics, fanart, zines, discussions. While fanbase includes that and all the players, but especially the ones that aren't apart of the active fandom and the pretty toxic gamers and streamers. The ones who you know prefer guns over humans.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

⭐⭐⭐ talk away!!! pls talk about whatever suits your fancy, maybe what kinds of traits and themes draw you to a character/story idea, or what themes or traits you notice reappearing in a lot of your works?

oooooh hi hello!!!! thank you for sending this and enabling me lol

okay, so as for what i'm drawn to -- i definitely have a Thing(TM) for poor soggy little meow meows lol. i like my female characters to resemble wet orphan kittens abandoned in the rain lol, but also have a very strong side to them that is in direct opposition to their soggy-meow-meowness lol. i really enjoy that duality. i enjoy that in all sorts of characters, and when it comes to fanfic i do read m/m and only very occasionally m/f pairings, but i am very rarely -- if ever -- inspired to write for them. i guess the formula for what compels me to write something is the combination of 1. soggy woman i wanna keep in a jar 2. is it something i want to read and feel there isn't much of in the world?

i exclusively write f/f pairings and woman-centred storylines -- not bc it's the only thing i enjoy in fiction, but bc it's the sort of thing i wanted to read when i was young and there was just so little of it, and i found it almost exclusively in fanfiction, with some exceptions such as sarah waters novels that i really enjoyed, but weren't translated in my language when i was a kid so i did struggle with them a bit (i would really wanna reread those now that i have a better grasp of the english language and am no longer a tween lol, i wonder if my opinion on them would change). i like to write from experience, and my experience is that of a rather odd gay woman moving through the world, so i like to channel that in my fiction. i feel like i'm Qualified(TM) to write it lol.

i'm about to be an old man shaking my fist at the world and demanding people get out of my swamp lol, but i feel like even though there has been a huge change in the amount of wlw storylines media we are Served every year (when i was a teen i feel i could count them all, that's how few movies/books there were, and at one point it was like okay..... i've seen it all lol or at least all that was accessible to me). and even though the media landscape has changed drastically in the last 10 years, i still feel like there are such few stories that really resonate with me? and we are generally being bombarded with very meaningless stories/media, just regurgitating the same shit over and over again (disney live action remakes are a good example of that trend, saying that as someone who was always a fan of disney if you couldn't guess by my username lol, and hasn't seen any of the remakes bc i simply Do Not Care, stopped caring around 2014 when maleficent came out). if you asked me to name a wlw story, or even a woman-centric story that doesn't involve a male love interest, that i really, truly enjoy, i feel like i'd struggle a bit. we get a lot of storylines in media that, imo, lack substance, and are often audience pandering (idk why supergirl came to mind, but it's a good example i feel). and tbh, the audience isn't picky. most people will just watch whatever lol, and honestly good for them but i Cannot lol. it needs to Hit A Spot for me. as for books, there is a better choice there i feel, but a lot of it is ya novels and i am simply not interested in that lol. no shade, but it's just not something i like to read. i want an old hollywood style romance with lesbians. i want phantom of the opera, i want the Drama(TM), i want a fucking hugh grant cheesy movie with lesbians. and so that's what i like to write -- just things i always wanted but never had lol.

i feel like in my works the Themes(TM) that appear a lot are:

1. loneliness and finding something or rather someone that quenches the thirst for company in a way that matters (i have always found irl that there's a lot of people who listen but don't hear what you're saying, and since i was a child i was always searching for people who will genuinely try to understand where i'm coming from and not just immediately try to put me in a box in their mind so they can Place Me somewhere and understand me in their own language. can you try to understand me in mine?)

2. pondering of morality, what's right and wrong and is there such a thing, rejecting and questioning societal norms.

3. a lot of kinky lesbian sex lol, through which i like to explore the psyche of the characters (or sometimes i'm just horny lol and sexuality and kink is something i like to think about a lot, esp bc my formative years were so traumatic in that aspect)

4. very character driven plots/characters changing their own fate or what *should* happen to them

5. the Intricacies of interpersonal relationships/developing a deep connection with someone and generally exploring emotional connection

6. this will be most prominent in the thing i am yet to post but is almost written, but i do enjoy some horror elements, gothic horror to be specific! i guess it's all the gothic novels i read in my youth :))

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! [btw if you know my irl name, not here you don't unless we're DM-ing]

gender is so weird tbh but please use they/she for me!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, from what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

~

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of September 2024 I've started s4 and all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

DC (the bats, mostly): dick grayson is so interesting you guys, (as of Jan 2025) im finally properly getting into comics!!

merlin (bbc): i was watchin s2 in August 2024! i finally decided to pick this up again and properly watch it! esp since i really wanna read The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg & And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly and i can't do that if i watched the show lmao

windbreaker (satoru nii): i haven't caught up with this one in a good long while, but im a manga reader so I know wayyy more than the anime lmao. talk to me about my children (sakura, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

jujutsu kaisen: lowkey refuse to finish s2 but I know what's happening by the end of it and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox :)

criminal minds: (obsession gone dormant, watch me not think about cm for months at an end until like exam season or something) update: as it's exam season (Jan 2025) I am naturally back into criminal minds— Currently finishing up s14, finally.

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (fuck you mappa, I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short. I really hope someone decides to adapt it into a proper season at some point)

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived and dormant (as of Jan 2025) interest of mine (im a few chapters out of touch with the manga and haven't read the light novels)

there's like. so much more

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

ice adolescence-esque fic: mappa fucked up majorly with canceling iceado and im supremely annoyed, mad, and upset. it just so happens that I was in the middle of my yoi renaissance era when the news came out so with my obsession going strong, I really wanted to try doing something with iceado. this is not going to be a very linear story, im going around and about in different points in time. the first narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, i had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov. this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is very interesting and some russians are wonderful people —diversity is a thing, after all— but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane. [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee's iceado"! ]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive (while privately having a panic attack) and we're not gonna get anywhere. Not that I can't get aggressive sometimes when I'm annoyed/offended or sth, like I'm not perfect but this is a general rule of a thumb yknow. Try not to be aggressive. or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Moreover, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

if you support AI art or AIs stealing fic content (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first I will find you)

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

acab however don't be surprised to see me interacting with dick grayson cop posts. it's fiction guys, let me be, some of the fictional cops get to be nice as a treat. irl cops are upholding a faulty institution that only helps the rich and powerful and literally would and have upheld corruption, fascism, racism, general bigotry and many more, thanks for coming to my ted talk—

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[bonvoyagenoona]

mr. kim in amomk is kinda a dilf idk 🥴🥴 especially since he’s like the carbon copy of namjoon 🥴🥴 you know what… i understand mrs. kim now 🥴🥴 i would definitely let a man like that impregnate me 3 times too and in such a short amount of time in between babies either, just sayin 🥴🥴 mrs. kim i understand you COMPLETELY

Mr. Kim: A DILF, eh?

Jin: Ugh. Here we go.

Namjoon: Every girl in school.

Taehyung: Shoot, every female teacher in school.

Jin: (mocking, high-pitched) "This is your dad? Ooh, I see where you get your good looks from!"

Mr. Kim: (smiles, flattered) Well.

Mrs. Kim: (scowling) Oh, and what are you so smiley about, hmmm?

Jin: (teasing) Was it like that at your school, Eomma? At college?

Namjoon: (grinning) Yeah, did you have to fight the competition off with a stick?

Taehyung: (devilishly) You stab anyone? Poison?

Mrs. Kim: He wasn't that hot of a commodity!

Mr. Kim: (proud, joining in on the teasing) Mmm, there was a time when---

Mrs. Kim: Oh whatever.

Mr. Kim: ---your dear ol' dad never had a free Friday night, if 'ya get what I'm sayin'. (wiggles eyebrows)

Jin: Ooooh!

They all wiggle their eyebrows.

Mrs. Kim: WHATEVER!

Taehyung: Don't be jealous, Ma! It's in the DNA! Can't turn it off!

Namjoon: (soft and happy) Yeah, Ma, besides --- you won in the end!

Jin: (still teasing) Or maybe you were just the least worst of them all.

Mrs. Kim: WHAT! EVER!! We made 3 more so that everyone could back off the original!

Mr. Kim: (laughing and scooping her up, nuzzling into her) Oh reeeeeeeeeeeeeally?? Is thaaaaaat why?

Mrs. Kim: (wriggling in his grasp, fighting smiles) YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT GETTING BUSINESS CARDS NOW!

[5eraphim]

eras of tumblr i could give hour-long Ted Talks about

(only including eras i participated in, not what i’ve lived through second-handedly. these are what i personally remember seeing on my dash, i’m sure there’s plenty i missed. This is an ongoing list/not fixed/subject to future edits.)

2015 gravity falls 

the rise of sexyman bill cipher 

depravity falls and putting 12 yr old characters in violent guro situations 

alex hirsch worship

billdip discourse

the diehard thirst for Gruncle Ford 

“i want to fuck that dorito”

2015/16 Black Butler

SebaCiel discourse

Grelle discourse (like, i don’t even know how to elaborate, but if you were there you would remember how people were fighting over her characterization in all different directions. Which is funny because, love her or hate her, she is barely even in the show lol)

The needlessly intense sjw vs anti-sjw/ fiction doesn’t effect reality/ shipping fighting

can’t quantify this, but i swear 80% of the fans were ex-hetalia fans 

Black butler 2 being either loved or hated, while book of circus was almost unanimously loved

the Scott Freeman incident...

no one giving a fuck about the female characters

Yana/Jay Michael Tatum worship

2016 Undertale

Sans undertale sexyman rise

the most raw video game soundtrack of all time

papyton

no one agrees how to draw undyne, but we all agree that she’s gay as fuck

(This is a personal anecdote, but i actually made a friend in highschool bc i drew undertale fanart on the board at latin class nd she added to it the next day, i added to it the next day and eventually we met up and it was so adorable)

“get dunked on”

2016-17 hamilton, heathers, great comet, dear evan hansen, be more chill musical theater insanity

rip tumblr user galactibun

The Hamilton craze breathing new life into the 1776 musical fandom

Most bizarre fanfic aus seen on tumblr thus far (hamilton)

The great comet Tony snubs

BMC and DEH blowing up, despite most fans only caring about the characters, totally ignoring the plot.

“Miku binder Thomas Jefferson”

No one giving a fuck about “The Hamilton Mixtape”

Gatekeeping fans who didn’t read war and peace or the ron chernow biography (i don’t think anyone ever gave a shit about the BMC orginal book which is SO FUNNY)

lin manuel miranda worship

real people fanfictions of actors/shipping them (especially hamilton!)

Key Figures include: Lin Manuel Miranda, Ron Chernow, Philipa Soo, Daveed Diggs, Ben Platt, George Salazar, Barette Wilbert Weed, and Mike Faist

2016-2017 the yuri on ice, killing stalking, kaikyu yaoi trifecta 

Yaoi take over

The anime fans collective salt over YOI winning anime of the year 2016

Not in this time period, but the Killing Stalking fans despising the ending en mass several years later.

Free! was also huge as the second season concluded not long before, but wasn’t receiving new updated in Realtime like the other three.

honestly? i mostly just remember people drawing some of the most beautiful fan art of the characters and not bothering to follow the plots

2015-2016 steven universe discourse peak craziness 

There are no words, looking back this all feels like a fever dream

Insane fan-theories (as in- even for Tumblr, these theories were very out there)

Pink diamond character derailment

“watching steven universe is the opposite of eating pussy” 

Gemosonas

fusion = sex???

“it’s over isn’t it” single-handedly inspiring some of the most beautiful fan art to come out of the show; "Stronger than you” def inspired much more fan-creations, but they were nowhere near as good imo

That terrible lily peet video that sent a tidal wave of fandom-fighting 

Concrete

Nicki Minaj guest appearance 

the porn avalanche predating the 2018 nsfw ban

My OG account got banned >:( (i never posted porn, tried to email support to no avail, I DID NOT DEVERVE THIS YOU NARCS)

50-50 mix of people posting lewd art and people posting links to find them as they migrated to twitter

“Female presenting nipples”

The return of the citrus scale (orange: PG/G, Lime: PG-13, Lemon: R, Grapefruit: X)

“Too Spicy for Tumblr”

Didn’t even stop the porn bots, mostly just screwed over artists and writers

IMO the peak of user v staff animosity

2020 hannibal

The small but loyal anthony hopkins defenders

Some of the most beautiful creative gore art

The moodboard to web-weaving pipeline

People being surprisingly respectful of fans who only watched the show, or who didn’t read Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs, or where otherwise not invested in the greater overall Hannibal canon.

Manipulate, mansplain, malewife

Key Figures Include: Madds Mikkelson, Hugh Dancy, Anthony Hopkins

november 5, 2020

You just had to be there man, i don’t know what to tell you.

Key Figures include: Donald Trump, Castiel, Dean Winchester, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, Nevada, Georgia, Wisconsin and debatably Sherlock season 5

the 2021 coquette girl blogger era

Lana del rey worship

The ungodly amount of softcore porn

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Glorification of eating disorders, benzos, trailer parks, predatory men, age gap relationships, and so much more!

Teenagers blogging about Russian lit you know they never read

Waifblr

Still not sure to this day how much of this was ironic and how much wasn’t?? Or if any of this was self-aware???

Yes babe you’re so bambi, kate moss, diet coke, wellbutrin, dasha nekrosova, ballet, klonopin, trad cath, fawn, dior, sofia coppela, can you please shut the fuck up now?

key figures include: Lana del Rey, Daisy Randone, Dasha Nekrosova, Nina Sayers, Fiona Apple, Anya Taylor Joy, Sylvia Plath, Kate Moss, Kirsten Dunst (probably so many more, but this is just off the top of my head)

(bonus)

2015/16- My personal earliest memories of really getting into tumblr, and witnessing the tail-end of the Hetalia reign

2016- the end of Homestuck

2016- the epidemic of overwatch porn

2016- Does Jumin Han is gay?

2017- RWBY’s nosedive in quality from season 3 to 4, losing the majority of the fanbase

2018 Boyfriend to Death civil war (Gatobob v ElectricPuke)

2018- Detroit become Human drops and the robot-fucking gatekeeping 

2018- the Game of thrones/Endgame joint disaster ending melt down

2019- Sub-par Omens

2020- the Dead by Daylight community rioting when Pyramid Head’s ass got nerfed

2020- Cyberpunk 2077 is released and is torn apart almost instantly. Looking back by my approximations post were made up of- 10% people who were actually playing the games and enjoying themselves, 20% people who were playing the game and WEREN’T having fun, 55% People who never bought/played the game who were making up crazy glitches for clout, 15% hardcore pornography of characters you’d never seen before. (I’m quite salty about this bc I worked at GameStop at this time and had people constantly talking about glitches in casual conversation and I just know most of these bitches were LYING.)

20??- don’t remember the exact dates, but phase 3 marvel was un-escapable at this time

2020/21- Succession blows up

2022 Ghost bc blows up on tiktok, the fandom already sizable on tumblr only goes up from here

[kingkatsuki]

If it was art you wouldn’t be abusing the tags…

If it was art you wouldn’t be abusing the—

Are you THAT dense because I thought you were smarter than this. Majority of people don’t even fucking UNDERSTAND or CARE how to use the tags and you’re making them feel like garbage blocking them knowing you’re a popular ass blog hurting peoples feelings because you wanna be the tag police.

I don’t even follow ANY tags? Ffs. I don’t care.

Y’all fighting for validation when you need to stop running from the money and go put all this energy into putting out real fiction you can make money from instead of bickering over FANfiction lmfao. Like what.

Nah Im standing up for the people who are too chickenshit to say anything cause ur a super popular blog and ur “army” is gonna jump any opposition.

If you don’t use the main tags anymore because of “abuse” 🥴 then don’t use them? Stop trying to make other ppl feel bad. Yes it’s ART yes it’s CREATIVE and you don’t have a say in if tags make something art or not. It’s TUMBLR goddamn go back to Ao3 if ur so fucking bothered by people DOING WHAT THEY WANT ON THE INTERNET.

Damn DAMN I hate when people do this.

I’ve posted repeatedly about tag abuse, as well as reblogging other blogs who have also posted and spoke out on it.

All the people I’ve blocked today I have never seen in my notifs at all so I’m not sure how I could be “upsetting people”. I’m literally a chick on the internet, you don’t know me and I’m not here to be put on a pedestal or to be told I shouldn’t have an opinion on shit.

I’m fighting for validation for blogs who have 30k fanfiction pieces that have less notes than a “I wanna suck Bakugou’s sweaty fingers.” post. For the readers that want to find a Bakugou fic to enjoy before bed but are instead met with “I might write Deku, Bakugou or Todoroki tonight what do you think?”

There are multiple guides on how to tag shit on Tumblr. Don’t try and tell me that you can make your theme all pretty and aesthetic but you can’t understand basic tagging etiquette.

Also have no clue what you mean by “running from the money”? 😂 I don’t care about making money from fanfic or I’d be popping out commissions. Writing and reading fanfic make me happy and when I can’t even find fics in the tags anymore it just sucks.

I’m not trying to fight, I’m not baiting anyone out. Im simply saying people need to understand how they are ruining Tumblr.

If you wanna come into my dms and talk about it we can, if you’re one of the people I blocked today (or friends with them because clearly you are) you can. I won’t bait you out, won’t make a discourse post but unfortunately people have been posting about this issue for months.

And I’m sorry. “I want Bakugou to do my back out.” Isn’t art. It isn’t creativity. And it doesn’t belong in the x reader tags.

As I mentioned previously a better fit would be #bnha thirst #bnha thirsts #mha thirst #mha thirsts #*character* thirst

Oh! And just to make you aware, this is also a super big issue on ao3 too!! Just incase you try to cross post your “art” there also. 🥰

But I digress, as I mentioned my dms are open! But I assume I’ll be receiving another passive aggressive anon in a few minutes✌🏻

[recurring-polynya]

Hey this is for our Redhead's bday. Its like a fluff and angst with a happy ending. Is it possible to make a Renruki based on Hanahaki disease? Do you know about this fanfic trope? Its like a person who doesn't know or think their love is requited, will cough up petals. They can only be saved with a confession or accept that they cannot be together with their love interest. I don't want it to sound too morbid. Let me know if its possible.

Wikipedia description for better understanding:

Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated. There is no set time for how long this disease lasts but it may last from 2 weeks to 3 months, in rare cases up to 18 months, until the victim dies unless the feelings are returned or the plants are surgically removed. There is also no set flower that blossoms in the lungs but it may be the enamoured’s favourite flower or favourite colour. Hanahaki can be cured through surgical removal of the plants' roots, but this excision also has the effect of removing the patient's capacity for romantic love. It may also erase the patient’s feelings for and memories of the enamoured. It can also be cured by the reciprocation of the victim's feelings. These feelings cannot be feelings of friendship but must be feelings of genuine love. The victim may also develop Hanahaki Disease if they believe the love to be one-sided but once the enamoured returns the feelings, they will be cured. In some literature, other symptoms can be fever, uncontrollable shaking, loss of appetite, low body temperature, and hallucinations. Even after curing, with or without surgery, there can be irreversible damage to the lungs and, although very rare, in some cases the disease cannot be cured.

Ha ha ha, of course I have heard of Hanahaki disease, my brain is 100% rotted by fanfic.

I. hate. Hanahaki disease. It is probably my #1 most hated trope, up there with every single soulmate thing that treats love like some sort of inescapable destiny and strips the characters of any agency. To me, falling in love may be more or less involuntary, but the choice of whether or not to pursue it is the very crux of romance.

In any case, I was just going to... not do this one, except that I walked around mad for half a day and then wrote this up in, like, two hours. This sounds terrible, but this is actually an ideal day for a writer! I am really happy with how it came out! Thanks for the prompt!! I mean this with absolute sincerity!

Warning: Bad language, because Renruki aren’t any happier about any of this than I am.

Read on ao3 or ff.net

🌺   🌺   🌺  

“How the fuck,” asked Rukia, “did you get that into my house?”

Sitting on Byakuya’s good tea table was a heavy green glass bottle of Rukongai’s worst rotgut. And two saucers.

Sitting cross legged and cross on the other side of the table was Abarai Renji.

“I told the captain it was necessary. Sit down.”

Usually, Rukia would take being ordered around like that as an invitation to call him names, but there was something angry and serious in Renji’s tone, so she sat instead, and let Renji pour each of them a saucer of something that smelled like lamp oil. Silently, they tossed back their drinks.

“You want to tell me what this is about?” Rukia asked as Renji refilled.

Without speaking, Renji pulled a carefully folded handkerchief out of his kosode and slid it across the table.

Rukia’s hands clenched into fists.

“Go ahead,” Renji said offhandedly, sipping his sake.

She didn’t want to. She knew what it would be. But she did it anyway, reached over and flipped open the handkerchief to reveal a handful of mangled, half-rotted flower petals. Hot rage ran through her veins. “Are you going through my trash now?” she demanded.

“No, I asked the captain to,” Renji replied coolly. “I assume he had someone do it for him, but he didn’t say.”

“Fuck you,” Rukia snapped.

Renji stared at her, his eyes cold and angry. “That night we camped in Hueco Mundo. Before we caught up with Ichigo and the others. You coughed up half a camellia and a good inch of stem in your sleep. I… figured we had more pressing concerns at the time, but I asked your brother to keep an eye on you after we got home.”

Rukia took a gulp of her drink. “Well, congratulations, Detective Abarai, you cracked the case. You’re so smart that I’m sure you know how these things end, so we don’t need to discuss it.”

Renji squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then opened them again. “It doesn’t… it doesn’t have to be a death sentence, you know?”

“It’s complicated,” Rukia grumbled. “I’m not explaining it to you, but it’s not… solvable, and I can’t… I won’t give up. Not this time.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Renji continued, his voice quieter. “There are ways to… manage it. Live with it.”

Rukia’s brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a disease of the soul, y’know, not the body, which is why humans don’t get it. With a strong enough will, you can keep it in check. The key, the thing that really lets it get ahold of your lungs, is when you start to lose hope.”

“You want me to live in denial, then?”

“No, not quite. But there’s some… techniques. We live a really long time, Rukia. Things may seem one way now, but… but who’s to say how they’ll be in sixty or seventy years, right? I mean, it’s not easy, but if you can imagine sort of… jarring up your feelings and packing them away for later.”

“Like pickles.”

“Yeah, like pickles.”

Rukia finished her saucer and reached for the bottle.

“Another thing that works sometimes is to try to…” Renji gestured helplessly. “Reframe it. I’m sure you’ve read poems about courtly love.”

Rukia made a face. “I fail to see how reading old-timey thirst poetry about wasting away from wanting to sleep with someone else’s wife is going to help anything.”

Renji’s face took on a pained cast. “Yeah, I guess some of them are like that. But being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back doesn’t mean your life is...meaningless. There can be something really beautiful and noble and sorta romantic in and of itself about loving with no hope of reciprocation. That you can still be of… of service to a person, even if they never notice you.”

“Renji, that’s fucking nonsense,” Rukia informed him, topping up his drink as well. “Where do you get these ideas?”

“Or you can just really absorb yourself in some goal. Be so busy you don’t have time to worry about love. Time passes quickly when--”

“Renji, just stop. I know you’re trying to help, but I’m… I’m sick and no amount of made-up wishful thinking is going to make me better.”

Renji’s face rapidly cycled through a number of emotions, like he kept coming up with things to say and then biting his tongue instead. “It’s not fucking made up, okay? People have lived with it for years, you know. Decades. Fuck, Rukia do you know selfish this is?”

“‘Selfish’?” Rukia echoed incredulously. The alcohol was starting to hit, and it made her feel unmoored, a raft floating in a sea of her own grief and anger. What did he know anyway? He was married to his job and his duty. The truest companion, the most generous soul, so free with his heart to everyone he called friend, but he didn’t know jack shit about being in love. Renji was the most transparent person in Soul Society. If he had ever fallen in love, it would have been public knowledge. Maybe his heart didn’t even work that way. What the Hell did he know?

“Yeah,” Renji spat back. “Selfish and cruel. How can you love someone-- even if they don’t love you back-- and-- and-- let yourself die from it? What kind of a monster would do that? You can hold on, Rukia. You’re so strong, I know you can. Just… just listen to me, for once. I can help you.”

Rukia felt her eyes burning, so she grabbed the bottle and took a long drink from it until her whole face burned. “Fuck. Off,” she replied, slamming it down on the table.

“I won’t,” Renji growled. “Ichigo cares a lot for you and it would kill him, Rukia, you hear me? You can’t do this to him, or-- or the rest of us, either.”

Rukia stared at Renji uncomprehendingly. The room was starting to swim. “What the fuck does any of this have to do with Ichigo?” She suddenly felt very tired, so she folded her arms and put her head down on them. “You fucking dumbass.”

[sohoharlem]

No blogs will post this, except for me.

I’ve shared these thoughts with a friend of mine and I just want to post it here. All the gossip blogs out there are super biased, and I advise you to stay away from them, because they will never post anything that goes against that specific blog’s opinion. It’s not a health environment. What I'm going to say right now, is strictly opinion, but it’s one that I have found many agree with in secret, but for some odd reason are afraid of being lashed out at. But I'm taking one for the team. This is for those gossip blogs who refuse to listen to the other side because they paint an unrealistic version of a person they don’t even know in real life. ( Just to give you an idea of how blind, biased, and fucking stupid these blogs are, I submitted this to five different opinion blogs (the same ones obsessed with Ale) and not ONE wanted to respond or post it.)

This is for Sebastian Stan’s fans - the majority of them who worship the land he walks on. It’s based on the blind that came out, about two-ish months after he was spotted in NYC with his supposed “Girlfriend”, but many sources do believe their relationship was strictly PR, anyway.

Based on that above blind, I truly believe that his fans live in this big bubble of denial, where they believe Sebastian never has sex with anyone but the same person for an entire year. First of all, there is nothing wrong with men seeing strippers. And there is nothing wrong with escorts, it’s a choice. It doesn’t mean he is dirty or he is being reckless. He’s living his own damn life. He’s a grown ass man, probably 10+ years older than most of you. It’s also his choice, his money, and his life. He’s seen strippers in the past, and this might come as shocker to most of his innocent and new fans, but this (Sebastian Stan seeing strippers) is NOT NEW.

Stop thinking that this man has never fucked a woman raw or doesn’t like to feel good. Or that he doesn’t like sex. Stop trying to protect a grown man because you’re afraid of your image of him being tainted. I genuinely feel like most of his fans just keep coming up with excuse after excuse to make a rumor a lie in their eyes when it’s something that doesn’t work in their favor.

When the blind first came out, they all said this: “No way it’s him. He’s not A-List and he’s with his GF, and that sounds like something crazy. He’s also not the only actor right now filming. I think it’s Rob.” Funny how none of them debunked it as a lie, huh?

(It’s hilarious because they said the same exact thing about the COVID-19 on the TFATWS set blind, saying it was another movie when it ended up being confirmed it was in fact, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. And it made fucking sense because of course they’d want to film regardless, they want to get it done. They are tired of putting shit on hold.)

Anyway…

The second the name comes out that confirmed the open minded people’s suspicions, the realistic people, his delusional fans started spewing shit like:

“His crazy fans made up this blind.”

Really? You really think ENTY just allows anyone? You think that’s how it fucking works? ENTY could get in serious trouble if this and the COVID blind was just a fan rumor. I highly doubt that’s how it fucking works. If that were the case, she would have over a hundred blinds a day of fans trying to stir up shit. Please. Get over yourself. A “fan”, ha! Another spew of shit I kept seeing was:

“Uh uh…uhm… *nervous laughter* but he would never do that. He would never see a stripper. It has to be a lie. I NEEED PROOOOOOF.”

My fucking. God.

Look. Even if it’s not real, which it very well could not be, be we don’t know, stop living in a bubble of denial where Sebastian fucking Stan is a 20 year old virgin and has never been to a damn strip club. You need a reality check if you think that’s the case. You need to be hit on the side of the head.

Real or fake, stop trying to make him fit your persona of him. 

In response to the whole GF thing, I’d just like to say that this whole blind is more proof than any of her  baiting we’ve had until now. And yet certain blogs still cling to a fucking blue sweatshirt, a picture of a dead fish, and a blurry pixillated fire pit picture. Where they zoom in so hard it becomes a tragedy. Just think about that for a second. Done? Okay good. And yet they call THAT proof. For the love of fucking God, are you kidding me? Are you fucking joking? They cling on a seem or color of a shirt more than a “revealed name”. 

I don’t understand the obsession with that girl, I really fucking don’t.

This isn’t me attacking and nor is it me being bitter. Some of his fans really just drive me nuts and you can tell they are so damn naive, and very biased. Want to know how biased they are and how naive? I bet you a picture could come out of him making out with a new girl and they would still say “Yeah but maybe he was paid to do it” or the awful “i need more proof.” ??????? THERE’S A PICTURE RIGHT THERE. 

These are the same fans that run away from him and unstan him and then GO BACK to him after he posts a thirst picture of him.

It’s so hard not to want to bang my head against a damn wall with the amount of stupidity I see. One of the most frustrating fandoms. Wish they’d grow up.

Please stop confusing Sebastian Stan with your precious Bucky Barnes. This is real life, not a fucking fanfic. Maybe if you stopped reading fanfiction you’d take on a different light on reality and learn to see the difference between your favorite fictional character and the real life man, who, news flash, has sex and not with you.

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[streets-in-paradise]

Roadside Bet

American Gods and Percy Jackson crossover - Part 1

Word Count: 1767

Characters: Wednesday, Shadow, Eira ( Vanir demigoddess OC) 

Relationships: Platonic. 

Summary: Setted in season 1 of American Gods. Mr Wednesday takes his crew on a trip to New York hoping to recruit a powerful ally. Shadow starts asking questions about him and his curiosity unleashes a silly argument. 

Warnings: Some ageists jokes, the camp half blood concept from Percy Jackson is interpreted in American Gods’s style. 

Disclaimers: This serves as an introduction for my self indulgent attempt of writing fanfic including Sean Bean as Zeus in the American Gods universe. I couldn’t find fiction for Sean Bean’s Zeus and he’s so fine that I can't deal with it so I decided to include him in an idea I had previously in process for an American Gods fanfic. I apologise for any possible mistakes,english is not my native language and this is a translation. 

Tags: @yerevasunclair​. Our conversations about Sean’s Zeus inspired this. I’m tagging you in both parts. Thank you so much for the inspiration. 

I hope you ‘ll enjoy this. Thanks for reading

With the exception of Wednesday's bad mood, the trip was not having any major setbacks. The old man was quite unbearable because he hated New York and its exorbitant modernity, but he knew that this was a trip he was obliged to take. If he closed the deal he set out to make, he would gain a powerful ally, perhaps the most powerful one available. 

With only a few miles to go, he switched places with Shadow because he wanted to drive to relieve stress. Meanwhile, to alleviate the boredom during the break, he started to chat with Eira. The girl was sprawled out in the back seat listening to music on an old MP3 player dating from 2002. Shadow signaled her to take off a headset and pay attention to him. Listening to them, Mr. Wednesday rebuked her

“I told her to get rid of every modern toy before following us but she never listens. Eira!! Turn that rubbish off before I destroy it myself.”

“ Chill out, old man. This is ancient history technologically speaking. It doesn’t have wifi connection, or bluetooth, or anything. Nobody can try to track us through this, even the boy must have forgotten these things existed. It’s as safe as your car’s radio.” she replied in a tone that showed annoyance. 

 Shadow laughed, always amused to see the boss and his new co-worker arguing as a family. Wanting to pry into what she was hearing, he reached out to grab the earpiece she had taken out of her ear and placed it over his.

“ What’s that language?  Greek, I think? “ he commented about the music 

“Yeah, it 's greek. I’m getting ready for our next stop.” she explained. 

 “ Greeks? After what I experienced with the russians some time ago i thought we were going to New York to have a meeting with the japanese mafia or something like that. All your business partners seem to have a thing with extremely violent threats. “ he complained

“Don’t be so harsh with Bogo. Most people think he is scary and disgusting but i think he is great. He may be a bit of a psycho weirdo, he makes meat uncomfortable for everyone and sometimes he throws his cigarette smoke in your face but he is a very fun dude ��� 

“ Bogo? Did you nicknamed him? He is a serial murderer who wants my head. “

“ We both live in Chicago, my mom tends to know everyone there and everyone knows her. I know him since i was a child, he is like a grumpy grandpa to me.”

That statement left him a bit shocked. Mainly because he did not imagine Czernobog being friendly to anyone or even being seen as friendly. 

“  Do you know the greeks? “ he asked, taking the opportunity to prepare for what was to come

“ No, I never had the pleasure, that’s why I'm so excited. They do their own stuff by themselves, they don’t tend to be very cooperative with the rest. Need is what pushed everyone else to start cooperating and created the unstable bonds of solidarity you had seen so far. They have their own functional system, they don’t need help from anyone. Even if they were struggling i doubt they would ask for it or accept it.” 

“ Very secretive people. How will we convince them to join Mr Wednesday? “ 

“  Let that to me, dear boy.” the boss interrupted . ”They never pick a side, not with us and not with the News. They are always pretending they are better than everyone else in that fake copy of their Olympus they made to themselves when all they actually have is a bunch of brats. If the big conflict starts they will have to choose one side and that’s where we enter.”

“I’m very curious about them "she added .” Their strategy is fascinating. They have a family business that keeps them standing for a very long time in conditions others would only dream to have. They adapted by being themselves without selling to the News.” 

” So, greek mafia then? ”  Shadow asked,curious and worried in equal amounts. 

 ” Never call them like that ever again. That’s very insulting and they are famous for being very arrogant and easy to irritate. Theo will carbonize you if he hears you calling him a mob boss. ” 

” Theo is their boss? He is the one we are visiting? ” 

 ” That’s how we call him, nobody dares to use his full name in casual conversation so we picked a middle ground epithet between his tradition and ours. Names are powerful, Shadow. You don’t have to use them in vain. ” Eira explained. ” Honestly, I'm very excited to meet someone so powerful. Most of the still strong names out there had given up and sold their brands to the News but Theo and his people are still successful. They are living the lifestyle of the Old Country, or at least the closest copy they can get in America. Wednesday is salty because he was never able to agrupate our kind in a similar project. My work for him is the closest thing he got, I’m one of the very few children of his associates who got invested and that’s only because my mother kept me with her. I’m not precisely the rule, that’s why practically i grew up to be here now. ” 

Shadow started to get severly worried .The repeated comment about the power of the people who were going to see kept him on his toes. He didn't want to get into any more trouble. 

 ” Do you want to give me a list of stuff to avoid when facing this Theo? I’m starting to freak out a bit and I don't understand a shit of what you are saying except for “ he is powerful”.  ” he asked her

 ” Don’t worry i will be there with you the whole time and i have more experience dealing with this sort of thing than you. Wednesday should have brought you to my mother’s home first instead of going straight to the russians when you visited our city. Don’t be scared, if you screw it up i will help you out”. 

Wednesday did not missed the chance to give his own advice as well

 ” The best for both of you is to keep your mouths shut as much as you can. “ he warned. ”Smile, nod in agreement, answer only what it’s being asked of you in the moment. This goes especially for you, young lady. ” he concluded in an imperative tone. 

”  Why the sudden care? You didn’t when we were visiting others. Are you afraid of him? ” she teased. 

”  Never, how could you suggest that? I’m restraining you because I don't want you to shift the focus of our negotiation. Theo has a weakness for youthful maidens like you.” he replied, scolding her again. 

 ” Then I should be the one negotiating with him.Wouldn’t be easier to convince him? ” 

” They don’t make him particularly weak, they are his favourite distraction. He enjoys himself when they get affected by his charm. Our business is the war and nothing more. Less you talk, less chances of distracting him too much.” 

Shadow was getting some entertainment with the discussion and intervened to give his opinion

” He doesn’t want this guy doing to you what he does to other women. ”he stated, mocking Wednesday. ” He wouldn’t admit it but he cares for you. He doesn’t want to see some horny old dude around you, thirsting over you and making you feel uncomfortable.” 

 ” My concern is not her safety, it’s her loyalty what troubles me. She works for me, she represents me. I don’t want her to forget it in front of him.” 

” Wednesday, he is older than you. ” Eira complained, trying to make him understand how ridiculous he sounded. ” Why would i care about him flirting with me? I’ll smile at him, pretend i’m pleased with his commentaries to keep him happy enough for you to close the deal and that’s all. It’s not the first time it happened, i’m used to casual flirting. Mad Sweeney had done it the few times we had seen each other,  some others associates of yours do it sometimes. The people we see tend to get flirty, Shadow has experienced it as well. It’s part of the job. ” 

” Mad Sweeney is a drunk loser, we are talking of real power here. Watch your steps and don’t embarrass me.”  Wednesday insisted. 

Shadow couldn’t stop laughing 

” Is he truly afraid you would be seduced by a man older than him? He has to be kidding, he is one of the oldest men i ever meet so how old is the greek ? 95?” 

 ” I may not be into the Technical Boy despite being closer in age terms to him than to most of the dudes we had dealt with but that doesn’t mean i’m into senior citizens. A middle ground is good, thanks. ” she joked, joining the mockery. 

” You two are too young to understand some very important aspects of how things work here. I’m warning you before it’s too late.”  Wednesday replicated.

 ” Whatever, thanks for the advice. I will have it in mind the next time an irresistable senior citizen shows up.You don’t know anything about my tastes in men and you are projecting your own crap on me. You may have a thing for girls of my age but not all of us get horny for grandpas. Some do and i don’t judge them but i’m not one of them.” 

 ” Wait and see. ” the old man replied in the same mocking tone. ” I would like to bet. I did it when Shadow fought the leprechaun, now it’s your turn. ” 

 ” We don’t have anything of value you may want.He just got out of jail and it’s not like mom would give me her Brisingamen just because i lost a bet to you. ”  

 ” Shadow, are you in? ”  the boss asked 

 ” What would i win? ” 

 ” If Eira feels condescendingly repulsed by the greek i double your weekly pay. If he charms her  i discount a percentage .” 

 ” If she doesn’t feel attracted to an old greek you duplicate my pay? Sure, i’m in. it is a safe bet, right?” he asked her 

” He talks bullshit, i’m not interested. Go ahead.” she assured him 

 ” I had never been happier standing in the middle of your silly fights. ” 

The youngsters spent the rest of the trip making fun of Wednesday's ridiculous bet, sure they were going to win. The old man laughed in their faces, he was playing with them again.  

Note: Theo is a name with two possible etymological origins, one greek and one germanic. A long time ago i read a theory that said the greek form Deos was associated with Zeus. I recently read that wasn’t the case but i still found it fitting for Zeus. 

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 65

~*~Sebastian~*~

I turned back toward the others. Sam was looking at me, "You're hopeless."

I looked around, hoping she was looking at someone else, "What? Why?"

"Three weeks ago with the good luck kisses and Reese Cups you were ridiculous. This week... hopeless. You're a big soft squishy marshmallow of a boyfriend. I expected more."

I went for a confused look, "Do we know each other well enough for you to ride my ass like this?"

She smiled, "Apparently."

I held up a finger in Scott's direction before he could say anything. Everyone laughed.

We talked, laughed, and drank until the ref blew the whistle. Like earlier I was between Sam and Mallory. Sam leaned closer, "Too far?"

I knew she was referring to her teasing after Emma left. "Oh hell no, perfect." I sat back enough to include Mallory. "Thank you. I'm much more comfortable in front of five hundred people than in a small group. Expectations are different. You fucking with me lets new people know I’m just a guy here to watch his girlfriend play volleyball."

Sam looked at Mallory, "See, hopeless."

Mallory smiled, "Yeah, but cute as hell."

“Am I imagining the southern accent? It comes and goes.” I looked between the two of them and they indicated I wasn’t imagining. “Southern accents are trouble.” I shook my head, took a drink of my beer, and watched them win the first set.

Emma ran over, "Hungry. Would you order me something, please?"

I gave her a thumbs up and I had plates of appetizers ready when they got to the table. After losing. I slid off the stool, giving it to Emma, standing behind and to the side. I reached around her to eat while my other hand kept in contact with her. Touching her back. A slide across her shoulders. Anything for the contact. When Emma was finished eating, she leaned back, using me as a backrest. I leaned in and kissed her temple, my hidden hand on her hip.

I can't explain my want for contact. Before we met, before I saw her, before I heard her voice, I knew the feel of her touch. Her hand on my arm. Since that first touch, I've always wanted it. Maybe it's because touch was the first thing I knew. Like if the first thing you're attracted to is someone's smile you always remember the first one and want to see it again. I've never been touch hungry like this. I don't mind, kind of like it actually, and I'm not all in trying to overthink the why. It's just different. Hopefully, the relationship outcome will be different too.

Mallory's voice saying, "Barbie Bitches at ten o'clock," drew me out of my thoughts.

Emma said, "They're really not that bad."

Mallory snorted, "Yes, yes, they are."

There was a group of five heading our way. Three women and two men. I'm going to go ahead and guess the bleached blondes are the Barbie Bitches. There is a natural blonde in the group, so I could be wrong. The men were lagging a little behind. The one with short black hair had a full beard and the other had shoulder-length brown hair with a couple of days growth of beard. I don't feel jealous or insecure, but I am aware these are men she knows. Possessive. Protective. Proud. Definitely wanting to mark my territory, I guess her using me as a pillow does that. If she sits up I may have to kiss her. Tragic.

One of the guys recognized me first. He elbowed the other and nodded. I went on talking with Nick about the best flavors for chicken wings. I’m partial to teriyaki. Hot sauces aren't for me. I like flavor over burning the shit out of my mouth.

The five reached the table, hugs and handshakes for those nearby. Emma leaned forward and the hand I had on her hip magically moved to her shoulder when other eyes locked on me. Beside me, I heard Sam mumble, "Hopeless."

I looked at Sam and laughed, giving her a silent thank you. I realize someone in my line of work not liking to be the center of attention seems strange. Work and personal are different. Meeting her friends is personal, but the first minutes when they're recognizing work me is uncomfortable. I wish it wasn't. I don't like it.

Emma did the introductions, "This is my boyfriend Sebastian." I do like how she gives me a title. It feels like a diversion, setting an expectation. There's no question who I am. I'm not Sebastian with a dangling "the actor."  I’m Sebastian "the boyfriend." That makes me uncomfortable too but in a much more fun way. She pointed as she gave names. "Justin, Caleb, Rose, Tammy, and Toni."

There was no way in hell Toni and Tammy weren't the Barbie Bitches. I was right about the hair too. I waved, "Hi, nice to meet you. Everybody work with Emma? Teachers?"

They told me what they taught. Toni and Tammy are English, Rose is Physics, Caleb is History, and Justin teaches programming and robotics. I looked at Rose, "I got a zero on my physics final." They laughed and I shrugged. "In my defense, of the eight seniors, the highest grade was a fifteen."

"You had a shitty teacher."

I widened my eyes and nodded in agreement, “Yeah, he gave us shit about the scores. I told him they said more about him than us. Finals were over, I didn't care."

Everyone started sharing stories from being a student or things students had done. Turned into a competition between the high school and elementary teachers for the most inappropriate comments and behaviors. High school was funny because they knew what they were doing, elementary because they didn't. I felt embarrassed for the mom who got the call her vibrator had made it to show and tell.

The game going on behind us was in the last set. Emma took off for the bathroom. When she came back, she went to the middle of the high school teachers, thanking them for coming. She was a good hostess.

Toni glanced at me before turning to Emma, "Are we really supposed to pretend he's not Sebastian Stan?"

Several things happened all at once. On one side of me, Samantha said, "Yes." On the other side, Mallory groaned. In front of me to the right, Tammy nodded her agreement with Toni. A little to the left, Emma said, "No."

Guess who I want to hear more from?

"You don't have to pretend you don't know who he is. But first and foremost, he's a person, so we're not going to talk about him like he's not right there." Emma looked at me with a smile. I was uncomfortable again. However, her protectiveness is hot.

Tami grimaced, "Sorry."

Emma hugged her to soothe the rebuke, "He scrambles my brain sometimes too."

I want to scramble more than her brains right now.

Tami looked at me as Emma headed around the table. "I'm sorry, Sebastian."

I waved away the apology, "You can ask me anything you want about work when they're warming up. The rest of the time I'm here to watch my girlfriend play."

It was Justin who did the fist pump, "Yes!"

I laughed.

Caleb faked a cough, "Fanboy."

"And not ashamed."

I had a fan. Sweet.

I'd taken Emma's seat when she left. When I started to get up she shook her head. She stood right up on me, laying her hand on my thigh. I lifted my arm over her, my hand landing on her ass, and my fingers going under the leg of her shorts to run my fingertips along the curve of her ass. My other hand, which was already under the table, moved her hand from my thigh to my crotch. I never stopped talking with Dawn. Beside me, Sam turned her back to me and leaned against the table, blocking anyone else from seeing. She’s definitely my favorite.

I was torn when the other game was over. I would miss our under the table fun, but the sooner the game was over the sooner we could go home.

Jeff walked around the table, heading toward the court. He pointed at me, "Your last good luck kiss sucked. Do better."

I jumped off the stool, grabbed Emma, dipped her low, and kissed her slow and deep. It felt very good. Reluctantly, I set her back on her feet. I looked at Jeff with my eyebrows raised.

Jeff grabbed Emma's arm and pulled her toward the court. "Much better. Thank you."

I turned back to the table to find all eyes on me. I shrugged with my hands up, "Taking one for the team." I took my spot back on the stool.

Justin leaned onto the table, "I have questions about stunts and drone shots." That conversation went on for a while. I could talk all day about that shit because it’s not directly me.

Toni wanted to know about Evans. Nia asked about gossip sites.

"I don't go there. Anybody can pretend to know anything and people will believe it if they want to. Even random guesses are going to be right sometimes. A friend had something real show up. It's best to ignore it. It'll go away with the next scandal. A lawsuit confirms and calls more attention." I could tell Rose had a question, "Go ahead."

She smiled, "Fanfiction."

I returned the smile, "What about it?"

"Love it? Hate it? Any favorites?"

I finished the last of my beer, considering how honest to be. I went all in. "I'm human. I got curious. For about a week. It doesn’t bother me. If a character I brought to life feeds someone's creativity I’m flattered. There are good stories and good writers out there. One of those could write a script, hell, for all we know someone who won an Oscar used to write fanfic."

"Real person stuff?"

I bobbed my head back and forth while looking at Dawn. "Still fiction and no more me than Bucky is. The imagination and amount of time spent on me is still flattering. All that's a step away. Now, the thirst tweets. Those are the things I wonder if people realize I see that. Fanfic is about an imagined version of me. Tweets and comments on Instagram are directed to me."

Caleb jumped in, "I bet you get the same things live at photo ops and shit though."

I nodded, "Some people lack boundaries."

Cindy said, "You looked uncomfortable reading those thirst tweets."

"Sort of." I laughed, "I wasn't embarrassed by content, just reading them out loud."

There were a few more questions before the whistle blew for the start of the game. I said, "Boyfriend time" and turned around.

It was another nail biter of a game. They lost the second set. All of us were screaming and clapping. It was a lot of fun. I liked this, being the spectator while hanging with her friends. I’ve always liked going to things and being the support person for friends. Fuck knows I’ve asked that from them enough. What I didn’t like was that this place didn't have Reese cups and the deck was too high for a between set kiss. Piece of shit dive bar.

They won the final set with a rejected spike by Becky and Nick. The team jumped in the air and hugged. So did Sam, Mallory, Scott, and I. I moved out of the middle to get to her first. In my head, I could hear Sam calling me hopeless.

I walked toward the opening to the court and met them, handing out words of praise. Emma stepped onto the deck and crossed the short distance into my arms. I kissed her head, "You did good."

"Thank you." She left my arms, kissed me, and took my hand. "It was a fun game. And I didn’t hurt myself."

We headed back to the table talking about plays and laughing. Emma sat down and pulled a beer from the bucket. I leaned my elbows on the counter behind me between Emma and Mallory, stretching out my back to reverse the hunching over during the game. I watched her profile as she talked with her friends. I could stand here looking at her all night. It didn't take long before I saw her energy drain away. Her smile shrank and her eyes lost their sparkle. I stood up, tucked a piece of hair that had escaped her ponytail, behind her ear, and waited until she turned her head like I knew she would. "You're tired." Not a question. She nodded. I turned to Mallory, "You ready?"

"Anytime."

I put Emma's bag on my shoulder. Emma stood up, "We're heading out."

Several other people said they were too. It wasn't late, but it was a weeknight.

I waited while they hugged their goodbyes. Mallory was back to me first. I slung my arm around her shoulder, "She's like a hostess saying good night to her guests."

Emma heard me and smiled. She joined us and I put my arm around her too. "Nice to meet everybody. I’m sure we'll do this again. Have a good night."

The three of us walked around the building to the CRV. I put in the code, opening the passenger and rear door, closing it behind them. I could see Mallory put a hand on Emma's arm and while I could tell they were talking I couldn't hear them. I walked a little slower around to the driver's side.

They didn't stop when I got in. Mallory was telling Emma about the questions during warm-up. When I turned to back out, Emma looked at me, "I'm sorry you were uncomfortable."

I smiled, "It was fine."

Emma's hand went to the back of neck, "I don't like you being uncomfortable. My friends making you feel that way."

"I don't enjoy it either, but it's part of being with you. You get my fans and a lot of other bullshit. I get your friends. I got less uncomfortable as they got used to me." I took her hand from my neck, kissing it before laying our joined hands on my leg. "I did like you going protective. You handled it well."

Emma barked a short laugh, "I wasn't ok with them objectifying you."

Mallory added, "I call them Barbie Bitches for a reason."

I laughed, “I’ve survived worse.”  Emma leaned over and kissed my cheek. “See, all worth it.”

“Emma, you know they’ve sent out shit. Your room is going to be Grand Central tomorrow.”

Emma sighed. I thought to say something but wanted to hear from her first. I wasn’t surprised by her response. “You can stay at home if you want.”

“Without you?”

“Yeah, I have to get packed up but you don’t have to go.”

“Nope.” It was never an option. “What sort of an asshole would I be if I’m not willing to deal with your co-workers dropping by your classroom. I promise you what you’re going to have to deal with will be much worse.”

“I get that, but to be fair, there’s not been much fall out from your fans.”

From the back seat I heard, “There will be. Probably is, but you don’t have an online presence to know.”

I nodded backward, “What she said.”

“I don’t know how your fans react to girlfriends, but I was a huge One Direction fan. Fans were brutal to their girlfriends. One released a cookbook and they left shitty reviews bringing her rating down on Amazon. Death threats to one if they broke his heart. They went all the way back in their social media and dug up shit. Hopefully, your fans are older.”

“Not always.” I guess this is when we’re going to talk about this. Maybe having a friend who’d been a fan would be helpful. “I won’t say fans cause breakups, but they don’t help. It’s complicated. There’s more nice than ugly, but a lot of time the ugly is really ugly.  Like you said, trashing her career, her cookbook because of who she’s dating. Girlfriends don’t always react well. Friends don’t always react well. The men, me, don’t always react well. I’m good at hiding when I don’t want to be seen, but I don’t understand people who can hide whole relationships for years. Hell, we’ve already been spotted having lunch. Two weeks in. I don’t know what the right answer is, because I haven’t found it.”

Emma jumped in,  "On the plane home I went looking around. There is a blog with all your relationships. Chronologically."

I'm sure I looked horrified. Because I was. "I don't want to know that. I don't want you to know that."

Emma grimaced and shook her head. "I didn't read any relationship stuff. I'd have to give you my high school and college diaries to equalize the invasiveness." She faked a shudder and Mallory laughed. Emma continued, "I was looking for fan reaction. There were links to Instagram posts, Twitter threads, and other blog posts. They have lots of opinions."

"Yeah, I know."

"You can't win." She pointed at herself, "Neither can I."

She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. "And you're still here. Are you crazy?" This was a legitimate question.

Emma reached over to play in my hair again, "Only about you. I'm going to focus on what I can do something about. You and I. I'm too curious to not look, and I can't promise it won't get to me, but at the end of the day I get you." She leaned across the console and I met her for a kiss. "Also going to keep my shit on private."

Mallory spoke again, “I know it’s totally none of my business.”

I interjected, “Wouldn’t be discussing in front of you if we weren’t ok with your opinion. Sometimes outside opinions see things better. Especially if you watched a fan meltdown before. Thank fuck I’m not in One Direction.”

“Can you sing?”

“Not in a way anyone wants to pay to hear. Maybe a charity karaoke or something.” I liked injecting laughter into a not funny conversation. I worried about this. I worried about Emma get drug through shit.

“I think you have to find a balance. You can’t do something because of fans, but you can’t avoid things either. Fans don’t react well to being kept in the dark, but they are quick to be pissed by baiting or what they think is rubbing their face in something.” She put her hand on her chest, “For me, and remember I was seventeen, I didn’t care about casual dates or whatever, but if it was serious and they were being spotted everywhere it was different. Then it becomes fans creating their own stories if they don’t have the real thing. Some fans got pissed when they could see what was going on, but being told nothing was going on. Felt like they were being lied to or treated like crazy fans. Again, with balance. How much are you ok with revealing versus how much fiction is tolerable. Emma’s right. You can’t win.”

I waited until we got to a stoplight and turned to look at Mallory, “Now, you’ve given me things to think about.”

Mallory shrugged, “I think you play to the sane stable fans. The others are going to create chaos no matter what.”

“Ummm.” I was full of thoughts.

Emma chuckled, “Will you be filling me in on these thoughts.”

“When I’m done overthinking and sorting through them.”

They went back to talking and I tried to leave all the thoughts behind. They needed to simmer. I’d look at them later. When we reached Mallory’s place I jumped out and ran around to the other side of the car. I pulled Mallory into a hug. Initially, she tensed and I was afraid I’d entered unwanted affection territory, but she quickly relaxed and hugged me back. I’d just surprised her. “Thank you for everything. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Emma was smirking when I got back in, “What?”

“I think you get comfortable with people before they’ve totally adapted to you.”

I knew what she meant. “I hug too quick.”

“No, no, no. Not too quick. It’s just fun to watch the reaction because getting used to talking to you is very different than being in your arms. You up close is better looking than you a few feet away. Your blue eyes. And your arms and chest feel . . . mmm.” She shimmied in the seat, “So good.”

“That may be just you.”

She started laughing. Hard. “I don’t think you believe that.”

She was right. I started laughing with her, “I do know I can cause a reaction. Not gonna lie, it’s fun.”

“I can’t wait to see you with a group of fans..”

“It’s a mind fuck. Prepare to deflate my ego. I can get a little out of hand after events.”

“Really?”

I nodded, “Part of why I take friends with me when I can. Hours of screaming, crying, and shaking fans. Being told your gorgeous and they love you. The stories about what something I’ve done has meant to them. It’s all pretty heady shit.”

“Plus all the hugs and inappropriate comments from beautiful women.”

Well, I walked myself into this. Luckily, I could tell she was teasing me and not taking it seriously. “You know how visual I am.”

“You just bring all that pent-up sexual energy home to me and we’ll work it off.” She patted my thigh. “And if you’re getting too cocky we’ll go to a Pearl Jam concert and you can feel the love rolling off fifty thousand plus people all at once.”

Comparatively, I ain’t shit.

[smuthuttpodcast]

Some of the best fanfiction I've been privileged to read has motivations and arcs well thought-out, facts researched, fantasy well within realm of plausibility, and with plotlines that are cohesive, compelling and which deliver emotional gratification.

Name/Handle/Alias

TazWren (Ao3 / Tumblr) / Wrentaz (Twitter)

About how long would you say you’ve been rooting for Reylo?

Since Christmas Eve, 2017, the day I watched TLJ

What did you think of the way Rise of Skywalker handled Rey and Kylo’s relationship?

I think it was clumsy as best, lazy at worst. TFA and TLJ set up what could have been a complex interplay between two people on opposite sides who still resonated at some core level. The potential to build was there. It was hinted at through the movie but never explored in full. It's testimony to the actors that so much was communicated nonverbally. Kylo/Ben shift of focus to saving / protecting Rey from Palpatine the only way he thinks is available to him, his transformation at her hands, her confession of wanting to have taken his hand, their scenes on Exegol. There was poetry there. A handful of beautiful moments. However it completely wasted the potential of Ben + Rey as a fighting unit, as two halves of a whole, and of two people who could only belong to each other.

Do you think the film understood why you, and other people, felt like Rey and Kylo had something together? Did it get their chemistry?

Again, I think the chemistry shone through in a handful of moments in the movie, on account of brilliant and nuanced acting. For the most part, the scripted sections were very wooden their actions lacked motivation and were overall not really reflective of who these characters had been shown to be in past movies and ancillary content. 

What about the handling of Kylo’s redemption? Was it something you had to think through in your stories?

I think the process of his transformation into Ben Solo was beautifully done, as also all the scenes with his running into Exegol. However, redemption needs to be balanced against what Kylo/Ben has been subjected to from infancy till that point. Redemption cannot equal death, especially one as unmourned or throwaway as it was. It has to mean the opportunity to rectify wrongs, to prove that you are capable of being different and doing different. Ben Solo was given no choice at any point. His redemption by death served no-one, respected no-one, least of all all the people who made sacrifices to be able to save him. Not to mention, the fact none of his past abuse or what he was put through is ever addressed. All his focus is Rey. And the absolute radio silence from the so-called Jedi pantheon when it came to the prodigal son of one of their own, so to speak? No one ever made an effort to be there for Ben, and we are expected to believe he deserves to be forsaken for turning into Kylo? That's not how the world works. 

How did you handle or would you have handled the redemption of Kylo Ren in your fics? How did you envision Kylo/Ben’s redemption before TROS and how do you (re)envision it after seeing TROS?

There had to be a strong driving force for change - love can be that I've thought about how Ben could begin to make amends - by respecting choices, by doing the heavy lifting with his mother, the Resistance, by using his power to build Vs tear down, by being who Rey saw him to be. By being free of voices and finally making his own choices. In war, there are no innocents - there are only bad orders and worse orders to follow. I think it's important that both sides acknowledge that as they try to rebuild - it's something I'm exploring in one of my fics, right now. Honestly, TROS has made no difference to how I see redemption, only now I absolutely hate the idea of death as the snap that fixes it. Not in the case of Kylo Ren / Ben Solo. Not after what his universe put him through.

What did you think of where Rey landed at the end? There had been a lot of excitement around Star Wars having a female protagonist. Do you think she lived up to the promise of her character?

No. TROS did an absolute disservice to Rey, by reducing her to a pawn, a vessel whose strength is defined by her bloodline and not by her own merit, and whose lifelong struggle was erased to serve the resurrection of a defunct character. There was absolutely no need to bring Palpatine back. Nor to infantilize Rey's development to the point she is only defined by what her masters thinks she is. Sticking her on Tatooine, alone, with no visceral reaction to having her other half ripped from her? On a planet that no-one in the family she blithely adopted ever had any happy memories for? At best she's shown as stupidly uncaring, at worst conniving. This is not the Rey we were set up to see.

There’s criticism of the movie that argues it’s akin to “fan fiction” and that is has too much fan service. As fans and fan-fiction writers, how do you react to that?

Possibly, just not the good kind of fanfiction! Some of the best fanfiction I've been privileged to read has motivations and arcs well thought-out, facts researched, fantasy well within realm of plausibility, and with plotlines that are cohesive, compelling and which deliver emotional gratification. TROS had none of that. It is an embarrassment to the history of a franchise that has always build the idea of hope, family, love, redemption.

Tell us about your favorite parts of the fandom. How does the fandom lift you up and embody the best parts of Reylo and Star Wars?

I've been a Star Wars fan for over 35 years, and the sheer love of the stories, and the myths they told, has always shone through in every installment, in every medium / format. That is amazing to be a part of. With the Reylos, I have the best of like-minded, intelligent, creative, caring, talented and funny people from all walks of life, from every corner of the globe. That is rare in itself! My everyday is filled with interactions with Reylos around our writing, art, the movies / books / comics / series, about meta, about mutual thirst(!) and also about supporting each other in our offline endeavors and lives. I have made many friends who are for life.

Are you still writing any Star Wars fanfic? Tell us about it! (Don't forget your Ao3 handle!)

Absolutely! As TazWren am working on a post-TLJ redemption / New Order fic (Caught Between Beats), another post-TLJ fic with Kylo/Ben suffering from trauma-induced amnesia (Hoth Landing) a few modern AUs (Brooklyn Bridge Blues, an unnamed on for the Reylo Charity Anthology). As TrashcanWren I'm wrapping up a couple modern AU about single-parent Ben-Teacher Rey (All I Want for Christmas), Prodigal Son-Ben & Guardian Angel Rey (My Angel Cometh) and a canon divergent JediStormPilot AU... My w.i.ps runneth over 🤣

Thank you @tazwren for the words! You can find their writing here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazWren/pseuds/TazWren