#American Gods Fanfiction

[22thumbs]

4 Fic Recs

When you want to read some fics were Joel Miller isn't quite human...

If you're a fan of Good Omens and American Gods by Neil Gaiman, you love magic realism and you love The Last of Us, this fic is for you. I can't recommend this enough. Joel, he appears to be human but he's got wings that can't quite be seen by the human eye. He used to be the Guardian of Doomed Children. Fic by @conzultingzoologist

This follows the plot of the Last of Us but Ellie starts to notice some peculiar things about Joel. He admits he has a special condition. This Vampire AU was written before the show came out. I really like that the world is very grounded.

Tommy takes Joel and Ellie on a hiking trip but it turns into a terrible life changing moment. Joel is bitten by the Infected. Luckily, Ellie has a trick up her sleeve due to her immunity. She saves Joel but it changes him. I feel my summary doesn't do this fic justice. This fic is in progress. Fic by @conzultingzoologist

Tess notices that her traveling companions are keeping something from her. I'll go right and say it- this is a werewolf AU, well it's The Last of Us world but there's hints that something strange is going on. I love the suspense and the build up. This is a Tess/Joel fic. Again, I feel I'm not summarizing this well enough. It's good. Fic written by @beerandyarn

[ao3feed-madwife]

Ain't Got No Body

by KirkyPet

IT'S GHOST LAURA.

Laura comes back as a ghost. How does that pan out? Let's see, shall we?

Words: 622, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: American Gods (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Laura Moon, Shadow Moon (American Gods)

Relationships: Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney

Additional Tags: Ghost!Laura

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54204175

[voxmortuus]

Hello 👋 I’d like to request a Dom Bilquis x Male!Reader smut. Male!Reader is a New God who receives an unexpected visit from the Old Goddess who is craving worship, and not from a regular human…

Nonnie Bilquis Requester.... THANK YOU! You threw me for a loop and I thank you for this request!!!!! Sorry it took so long! I hope it finds you well.

►PAIRING: Dom!Bilquis X M!Reader ►UNIVERSE: American Gods ►WORDS: 1k ►SUMMARY/PROMPT: See Above. ►TRIGGER WARNINGS: Domme Bilquis | Nothing but smut | Smut time language for body parts | Oral *Female Recipient* | Vaginal Penetration | Worship of Old Gods | Submissive-esque male | I may be missing some, but you get a general idea, so please proceed with caution if there is anything in there that is overly triggering please let me know politely and I will make sure it is added to the list. ►NOTE: Sorry if this isn't what you expected, or had envisioned yourself, I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed my vision. ►DIVIDER CREDIT: @nyxvuxoa ►My Master Masterlist

It wasn't everyday a beautiful woman came knocking at your door, especially one such as Bilquis. She was radiant, as always, but today she was particularly delectable. She oozed of sex, lust, desire and want. Dressed in a beautiful shade of crimson red she had come knocking on your door. Without hesitation you let her in, she wasn't going to take no for an answer and that was clear when she looked at you. Her gaze warm and wanting. She was a woman, not a girl, not some floozy, this was one woman who could eat you alive and not think twice. She was a Goddess. One of age at that.

Closing your front door you turn and look at her. "And to what do I owe this visit...?" you ask.

"I want to be worshipped... I know who you are... I know what you are. I want to be worshipped by someone with power." She had stated. The words dripped off her lips like a sweet bite out of a juicy watermelon.

"You think I can do that?"

"Oh I know you can, and you will. Worship me Y/N. Show me what it feels like to be worshipped by a new god... Pleasure me with those wants and desires of being needed, desired, and craved. Worship me, Y/N." she stated with a sway in her hips as she approaches you and grips your shirt and presses you against he wall, feeling you against her she lets out a soft whimper. "Worship me." She whispers against your ear as she places her hand over your pants and begins to rub you to feel what she's got to work with.

Nodding with a stammering groan you close your eyes a moment before opening them to look at her. "Yes Ma'am..." you smirk.

"No, say my name. Say my name when you worship me." she demands.

"Yes, Bilquis." you smirk looking over her face.

"Good boy." she muses before she turns around and moves her hair for you to unzip her dress.

With a simple gesture, you move to unzip her dress, exposing her dark creamy chocolate skin. You run your hand down her back and then up, only to slid your hand down her side, feeling her curves with your hands. You whisper in her ear. "You are absolutely beautiful."

She smiles softly and looks over her shoulder. She looks around your apartment and looked back at you and beckoned for you. Walking further into your apartment she noticed your candles and smirked handing you a lighter off the dresser she tilted her head and licked her lips. "Light them in the name of me." She whispered softly as she climbed into your bed and leaned against the headboard slightly and spread her legs.

Looking over her, she looked so good you could devour her, sweet, with a slight tang, a beautiful combination of desire and harmony. The scent of her was intoxicating, and you were far from pushing her away, no you wanted this, especially deep down.

Once the candles are lit, you move to stand at the end of your bed and you watch her, licking your lips you feel your cock stiffen slightly. "Fuck." you smile she beckons you. Stripping down you release yourself feeling the freedom as you stiffen a bit more, rising as you stiffen. You climb into bed and approach her.

Leaning in you attempt to kiss her, but she stops you and looks over your face a moment, studying you before she leans in and kisses you. Slowly pulling back you begin to stroke yourself but she shakes her head. You stop, looking at her.

"Taste me..." She stated as her hips raise slightly and you smirk. Kissing her again, you work your way from breast to breast, gripping, touching ever so slightly, rubbing at her swollen clit. It wasn't long before your lips were kissing just above it.

In a matter of moments you were taking her sweet nectar into your mouth. Your tongue began to work like it's never worked before, lapping at her, drawing around her clit, her velvet like folds welcoming and sweet. She was ripe and sweet for the plucking and you were going to devour her. Your hands gripped at her thighs a moment before one hand slipped to your cock and began to stroke yourself, you wanted her to shake and quake before you dove right in.

Her moans were beautiful notes that danced off your walls. Her hand in your hair gripping as you lapped her up and suckled on her clit. With the hand that stroked your painfully hard cock you reached up and grabbed a breast giving it a firm grip an you feel her legs tremble her moans picking up at your quick paces, hearing her breathing get heavier, she watches you a moment before her head presses into the pillowy headboard.

Feeling that tremble you knew it was time, positioning yourself you slide right in with nothing but great ease. Wet, dripping and the way she felt around your cock was something you absolutely will never forget.

"Oh Bilquis, your feel so good." you praise.

She moans softly.

You think about it a moment, and the more you say her name, the louder her moans become. The lourder she had gotten, the lourder your groans had gotten in return.

As you thrust, she had massaged your cock with her wet velvet like walls, and the constriction and freedom of her slick core had felt something unworldly.

The aura of the room grew, it was like there was an audience, changing from the corners of the room, moaning that was beyond you two, the way you pleasured her, it pleasured you, the way you cried out for her in worship of who she was, there was a strong feeling behind it because of who you were. The power you both possessed danced in the room like a tango of seduction. It was the release of the goddess beneath you as you screamed her name that was the biggest reward.

Getting dressed she looks at you and smiles. "I'll be seeing you again real soon, Y/N. Maybe next time, I'll return the favor. Be a good boy, and make sure when you touch yourself, you do so in the name of me." She muses before she kisses the corner of your lips and steps out of your apartment, leaving you to mull over what just happened.

[blakeivy80]

Oouuuuhhh huuuuuummmm I suddendly feel like huuuum.... laying... resting... napping... or else, but no need for a pillow !

[graysbullshit]

a list of brazillian fun facts you might want to know for your qsmp fanfics! (or in general lol)

DATING IN BRAZIL (because I know at least 50% of yall are gonna be writting slash):

Phase 1 can be or texting/talking or ficando (infinitive: ficar), it depends on how shy you are;

Ficando means to be actively seeking a person out consistently with the intent of talking for a bit and then making out (it does not entail any level of loyalty);

Brazillians only consider it "making out" if you french kiss;

Kissing without tongue is considered weird and viewed negativelly;

A little peck on the lips is cute, but not really what we consider kissing;

There are two types of brazillians: the ones that will start dating after a week and the ones that take months to make up their minds;

If a brazillian is interested in you (even if you don't know each other) and you're in a party there is a very good chance they will walk up to you and ask if you want to make out/ask for your instagram handle (it depends on what kind of party it is tbh);

Also, most brazillians kiss and tell lmao;

It is not uncommon for outgoing brazillians to make out with random strangers, especially during carnival;

We are a sex positive country mostly;

We are very sensual, even if we have no romantic interest;

Mock-flirting or Joke-flirting is very common in friend groups;

People who make out/date with the person their friend likes are called Talarica or Talarico;

When you get cheated on you're called Corno;

People usually go on dates after ficar for a whille;

Usually, if you're going on dates with someone it is expected of you to be faithful or to end things (you can't go on dates with a guy while also going on dates with another guy, that's fucked up);

We call dating namorando, from the infinitive namorar which refers back to namorado (boyfriend) and namorada (girlfriend);

brazillians are typically very direct when they are interested in someone, which doesn't mean they will say "oh, i like you" right away, but they will flirt for sure;

in Brazil saying "I love you" isn't a big deal, most brazillians will say it pretty fast and not saying it back (if you're in a relationship) is considered VERY WEIRD;

brazillians have the tendency of being very jealous lmao;

GEOGRAPHY:

Brazil is a continental sized country, being the fifth biggest country in the entire world. It is bigger than the USA, if counting only directly conected land (ignoring Brazil's islands and Hawaii and Alaska);

Because of it's size, brazillian states have a great number of differences in language, culture, food, climate, and politics;

There is as much animosity between states as in the USA (the difference being: brazillians will always defend each other rather than gringos);

The brazillian streamers are all from the Center-West, South-East and South of Brazil (unfortunatly there is nobody to represent the North and North-east);

The south-east is the are of biggest economical impact, while the center-west is known for the capital of the country (Brasília) and the agriculture, while the south has a terrible reputation (they have livestock too, but mostly a bad reputation);

Brazil has two of the biggest cities in the world: the 5º biggest, São Paulo, and the 19º biggest, Rio de Janeiro;

Nobody fucking likes São Paulo (the city) except from the people that were born there or lived there their entire lives;

Brazil has a mostly warm climate, and most brazillians consider anything below 20ºc to be cold (vai sulista, fala que no sul é mais frio, fala);

Brazil's seasons are more often defined by the level of humity, rather than how hot/cold it is;

Brazil is a giant when it comes to agriculture and livestock. We have a lot of grains, and red meat. If you drink coffee and eat meat you have definetly tasted brazillian products without knowning, since we do a lot of exportation (especially to europe);

Brazil has natural diamonds, pre-sal (which can be used in the making of combustives), gold and other precious stones.

HISTORY:

Brazil was mostly colonized by the portuguese, but there was also a presence of the Spanish, French, Dutch and British. You can tell by the architecture;

Rio de Janeiro was the capital of the Portuguese Kingdom for a little while;

Brazil (much like Mexico) was once an Empire;

Brazil (as it's own coutry) has had only two Emperors;

the Brazillian Empire was a big deal despite ending fairly soon;

Brazil's Empire once eliminated about 90% of the male population of Paraguay during a war, which is def a war crime. We have repayed them for what happened, though;

Cities like Rio de Janeiro have a lot of Imperial architecture, but most of the colonial architecture can be found in states like Minas Gerais;

Brazil sent troups in WWII to Italy, the famous Smoking Snakes;

Brazil was forced into a dictatorship by the USA (surprising no one);

Brazil had a president that decided to develop highways instead of trains (i fucking hate him). It's the same guy that moved the capital from Rio de Janeiro to Brasília;

Brasília was build with the blood of poor people and it fucking sucks, but it has the shape of an airplane so everything is fine ig /s;

Brazil's first woman president and it's current president were both tortured during the dictatorship;

Brazil is a concervative country, despite everything;

Do not ask me about Brazil's politics, because it's so fucking insane lmao;

GENERAL CULTURE:

Brazillian culture exists on top of three axes: Portuguese, African, and Indigineous;

We take A LOT from Japonese culture (since we are the country with the biggest Japonese population outside of Japan). I've never met a brazillian who hasn't watched anime, even my grandma knows what Pokemon is /srs;

Some other important diasporas in Brazil: Lebanon (we have more lebanese than Lebanon itself lol), China, Germany, Italy, and many different African countries;

Most brazillians listen to funk and sertanejo, but other brazillian music you might be interested in: samba, BRrock, mpb, BRpop, Axé, and Pagode;

Some other famous brazillians you might not know, but you should: Silvio Santos, Celso Portiolli, Rodrigo Faro, Angélica, Eliana, Xuxa, Luciano Huck, Pyong Lee, Mauricio de Sousa, Ariano Suassuna, Clarice Lispector, Machado de Assis, Guilmarães Rosa, Fernando Pessoa, Vinicius de Moraes, Toquinho, Mateus Hwang, Tiago Leifert, Tadeu Schmidt, Boninho, Guilherme Briggs, Fernanda Montenegro, Rodrigo Santoro, Wagner Moura, Seu Jorge, etc;

Most brazillians only drink tea for medicinal reasons (like cammomile tea);

Most brazillians love coffee and hate iced coffee;

Most brazillians start drinking coffee at a very young age;

Drinking (alchool) age in Brazil is 18yo, but most brazillians start drinking around 15yo;

Most brazillians love meat and barbecue. Here is a picture of a brazillian brabecue:

Brazil, differently from other American coutries, didn't have potatoes/corn as it's basic food, we had a root called Mandioca. Although it is still very beloved in brazillian cusine, the base for brazillian meals is currently Rice;

In Brazil we usually don't eat a lot during breakfast, but have a big meal (with rice, veetables, meat, and beans) for lunch and dinner. And our dinner is usually around 20h-22h;

We don't use AM or PM;

We use the metric system and Celcius, and we very much deslike the imperial system and what's-his -face is an abhorrent scientific disgrace;

brazillians who suck up to gringos are called "Vira-latas", which can be translated to "mutts" or more directly "eat-trash";

brazillians have mutiple coffee breaks during the day, mostly in the afternoon;

brazillians brush their teeth at least 3 times a day (mostly after every big meal);

brazillians shower at least once a day, some going as far as to shower three times a day during summer;

brazillians do not use snapchat and they think it's obsolete (because it is);

brazillians will pirate anything that isn't made by other brazillians, and I mean ANYTHING. There is no shame in pirating in Brazil and we are very proud of being the country that pirates the most in the world! We will also buy counterfeit products knowing they are counterfeit;

brazillians rivalry with argentinians is REAL. And, although is mostly a football thing, it really translates to everything else (especially if it's online);

brazillians have a hierarchy when it comes down to rooting for stuff, and it goes like this: brazillians, sibling countries, latin americans, other african countries, other third world countries, japan, other asian countries, european countries, anglo-saxon americans, argentina (if it's football), germany, portugal;

[kierancaz]

Guys I’m going insane again over Yuu being from our world and twisted wonderland having nothing in common with their world.

Like imagine them referencing the Lorax or Glee or FUCKING AMERICA OR HAMILTON and then when no one gets it they have to explain as best they can wtf Glee was without any reference material.

[sl-newsie]

Proud To Be American (Dr. Spencer Reid x OC Coworker)

Summary: A BAU coworker is feeling down after a less-than-exciting 4th of July and Spencer schemes with the team to try and cheer them up.

“Welcome back!” 

Penelope gives a big wave and the rest of the BAU joins in from where they’re standing at their desks. Usually I join in with their back-to-work celebrations but my holiday weekend didn’t go exactly as planned. 

“Hey, guys.” My attempt to sound optimistic slides by Garcia but the profilers pick up on it right away.

“You alright, girlie?” Morgan asks. “Where’s your patriotic spirit?”

I walk past their section of the office to the break room. Sorry everyone but I’d rather just get through this Monday without wishing my plans weren’t interrupted. 

“Hi?”

At least there’s one person who can lift my spirits.

“Hello, Dr. Reid. How was your weekend? See any fireworks?”

The kind man offers a cup of lemonade. He’s only been here a few seconds and I’m already forgetting about why I’m upset.

“Actually I didn’t do much for Independence Day,” Reid replies. “I took the time to catch up on some reading and watched some TV.”

“Oh? And how many books did you get through this time? Twenty?”

“Thirty five, actually.” His gaze narrows and I can feel him analyzing me. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

There’s no trying to lie to him. Even if I refuse to say anything he’ll pry it out eventually.

“I- Everything changed.” I take a sip of lemonade and let its sour sweetness trickle down my throat. “Last weekend I was supposed to celebrate with my family. You know, the usual barbeque. Swimming, watching fireworks. But then some family drama happened and I spent the weekend stuck going through furniture.” Another sip. “Not exactly how I wanted to spend my holiday weekend. Instead of watching fireworks I reminisced through old memories.”

“Reid!”

Spencer looks back where Hotch is calling his team to the bullpen. 

“I’ll catch you before we head out,” Reid says and walks off to the meeting.

I appreciate all that they do but each case does take its toll. Every time Spencer comes back there’s always something new. Another death. Since I only work in the office I never see any carnage. He’s thanked me before for giving him an excuse to talk about things other than work.

The new case must have little to discuss because the meeting’s already over. Prentiss and Morgan walk past my desk to grab coffee and JJ’s already going through paperwork.

“Hey!” Spencer comes over and bounces on his feet. “This case is only a few hours away. When we’re done Rossi is planning on having a small get-together at his place. Wanna join us?”

“She is joining us,” Rossi speaks for me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “No Fourth of July celebration? We’ll fix that.”

My eyes widen. “Oh, no. That’s not-”

“You need some of my Nero d’Avola. You prefer wine, correct?”

This man is so Italian it’s not even funny. “Yes, sir. But it’s really-”

“Wonderful! You’re going.”

He walks off to join Hotch. Reid and I exchange looks.

“Guess I’m going,” I shrug. “Did you put him up to this?”

Spencer shakes his head. “I just told them why you were feeling upset and he suggested a party.”

“Party? You said this was a ‘small get-together!’”

“Yes. You, me, and the rest of the team. It’s always a party when Rossi is hosting.”

The doctor gives me one last smile and grabs his satchel before heading to the door. 

“I’ll await your triumphant return, Dr. Reid! Good luck.”

Good fortune does smile upon the BAU because the case is closed in a matter of days. The second the team walks back through the office Reid heads straight to my desk.

“Ready for tonight?”

I smile and start putting away today’s documents. “That's all I’ve been thinking about!” And you too. 

A pair of hands grabs my shoulders and suddenly Penelope is steering me out.

“Time to clock out. Let’s go!”

Half an hour later and I’m literally forced to sit down in a lawn chair. Everyone's still in the Fourth of July spirit because we're all wearing star-spangled swim attire. It’s how I imagined a party with the BAU would look. Hotch and Rossi watching everyone like concerned dads. Morgan and Garcia having a drinking session. Prentiss and JJ sunbathing. And of course Spencer telling me all about a new topic. Today’s is the danger of sun rays. 

“Exposure to sun increases melanin, which causes darker skin. Thus creating a sun tan. Too much sun exposure is an easy cause for melanoma. Everyone should wear sunscreen regardless of skin color.” He picks up my tube of sunscreen and examines the contents. Then- And then pats up my arm. 

“Wh-What are you doing?” We both notice my arm tense up.

“Seeing if you rubbed it in thoroughly,” Reid explains. “Then it won’t wash off in the pool.”

Hm. I know he’s not exactly the most touch-friendly person in the world. So this must be a thoughtful gesture for his standards.

“Thanks, Spencer. I appreciate it.”

It’s no secret to the team that I consider Spencer more than a friend. But the key secret they don’t know is that a month ago we both finally broke down and went on what some would call an interview. We call it a date. It went very smoothly and we both agreed to begin a reasonable courtship without massive commitment. I guess that’s transitioned to worrying about my skin care.

“Is this what young people do?” I ask out loud, looking out at the team. “Hang out with other young people on sporadic occasions?”

“Yes.”

“Hm. I think I skipped that part.” Spencer laughs and I nudge his shoulder. “Hey! You have an excuse. You were graduating college when I was graduating high school! My lame excuse is that I like hanging out at home too much.”

“Speaking of which, when should we discuss meeting arrangements?” Spencer asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean do we hang out only at your place, my place, both places? We could maybe do a colored chart or specific weekly pattern-”

“Let me pause you right there.” I hold up a hand. “Spencer, your organization skills are next to perfect. But we don’t have to have everything planned by the book. Feel free to stop by whenever you like.”

His chocolate eyes have never looked so bright. “Oh, thanks! I was worried our relationship might be too sporadic, with my job taking me all over the country, and didn’t think-”

“Hey guys!” Morgan waves from across the yard. “Get over here!”

A smile spreads onto Reid’s face and he grabs my hand. “This is the best part.”

I’m pulled to the other side of the pool and there’s a lounge chair set up for me.

“What’s this for?”

“Just wait!” Penelope giggles and refills my glass.

What on Earth? “Wait. Where’s Hotch-?”

Kaboom! Weeee! Boom!

A palette of colors explodes across the darkening sky. Sparklers, firecrackers, fountains, roman candles! 

“Oh my goodness!” I gawk at the magnificent patriotic display.

“We’re part of the FBI!” Rossi shouts over the noise.

“Of course we can find ways to obtain fireworks!” Hotch adds.

I turn around and the BAU leader steps out from behind the fence.

“Happy Independence Day!” Prentiss and JJ cheer.

Reid squeezes my hand and I’m still staring at the awe-inspiring explosions in the sky.

“You did this for me?” 

“Everyone deserves to celebrate being an American,” Morgan inputs. “She’s our employer! And what better way than to legally blow stuff up?”

“Thank you all so much!” I gush. “This is amazing!” 

Spencer leans in and whispers: “What do you say to watching The Patriot with commentary at your place afterwards?”

All disappointment from last weekend is obliterated. “It’s a date!”

Hotch disappears again and another round of fireworks lights up the sky. 

Boom! Wizzz! Ka-bang!

"And I'm proud to be an American...!" Morgan begins to belt loudly.

God bless this country!

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty. Ch. 4

A Homelander X F! Reader and Dadlander fanfic.

A/N: if ya like to be taglisted plz leave a comment to be notified on the next release. got the writers block and too many wips so here is an early chapter. hope y'all like it. plz check my pin post for prev. chapters.

Tags: mild gore, angst, lots of angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance.

Chapter Four

Seeing Stars

You had him agree to you working three days as his personal chef, and he couldn’t have you Sundays no matter how much he asked.

Within the week you had gotten a letter from your bank telling you that the pending investigation on your account had been closed and now you could access it, it had even accrue significant interest after being untouched for seven years it was better than an early christmas miracle as you sobbed in your bedroom with the letter in hand, you cried in the kitchen after calling a realtor to see an apartment, by the time you seen a couple of apartments you had come home to find an enveloped taped to your door. Inside paperwork and some keys– seeing red for a moment, but as Helena tugged at your shirt, your anger tucked itself away, you held her crying into her shoulder as you finished reading the letter.

Before the month ended, you had moved into a large, renovated and well located 2 bedroom, 1 office, 2 bathrooms apartment in the ground floor of a duplex, it had to be at least eighteen to twenty thousand dollars in rent but he had simply purchase it– writing in his letter that he wouldn’t allow you to continue raising his daughter in the projects or some refurbished new york closet, he had even collected information on local schools in your new neighborhood for you consider, informing you that he would take care of tuition cost.

As you settled in a space so big you had nothing to fill it with, as you watched your daughter actually behave like a seven year old for once, you laid on the floor by the open concept kitchen, feeling the rich wood underneath your skin, staring at the black granite benches and hardwood cabinetry– the floor was even heated! You heard a landing in one of the two thin yards, you knew your daughter was exploring the bathroom, so it felt safe to do this now.

“I’ll have my interior designer come by this week to help you select furniture and stuff.” He said upon entering, distubed by how barren it was, all your belonings in a a dozen boxes total, tucked in a corner of the living room.

“You are a bastard making me indebted to you.” You grumbled.

“I can’t have her live in a broom closet infested with rats. Kids need yards and space.” He looked at the cherry wood panels lining the outdoors, the vines and trees growing in a decent sized yard, extra big by New York standards– you could get her a puppy, a kitten or…?”

“She likes fish.”

“I could have a pond installed.” he said with a smirk crainign his back as he tried to look less imposing as you refused to lift your head from the heated hardwoods– you should be okay with utility bills, I left them on credit for your convenience. Have you had a chance to look at schools?”

“What are you actually planning, John.” You sat back up, switching names had taken him off-guard wondering what angle you were going at him from– haven’t even started work with you and now you are showering me with presents? This is beyond just wanting to see your kid is not like you actually seen her.”

“You said to take things slow.” He didn’t try hiding that devious grin– Ryan… needs a story.”

“Jesus Christ you are sick.” you now had to stand up for real– you want me to play mom to your kid? I don’t even look like him.”

“Genetics are weird. Helena looks like you and Ryan looks like me, like those dogs from ‘Beauty and the Tramp’."He touched your cheek with a bare hand– Can’t wait to see you next Thursday, mom.”

“Oh god…” You chuckle, losing your mind as his hand hurts without a scratch– How are you going to tell this to Helena?”

“Is in early development but the team will take care of it. I need Ryan to attend the same school as Helena so please hurry up.”

He left not before telling you to take Helena to MOMA this saturday at 2 pm, it wasn’t a suggestion or invitation, it was an order

You did as you were told that evening, one of the best schools in the city was under a half hour walk from this cell, knowing Helena had to be enrolled soon didn’t help, and your commute to Lucci had increased but now you could pay for gas and not cry. Sending him a texts about schools to the number he had given you in his many many notes seemed anticlimactic but that was it.

Helana had grown suspicious, but she played dumb and you knew it too, so you both played stupid when you headed to MOMA that weekend.

You just casually came the same day and the same time as Homelander and Ryan were about to have the whole museum closed off as they received a private tour,  but he asked you to join them not giving any real explanation for why but nobody questioned, neither kid spoke to each other much if any, Helena simply enjoying the silence, she looked at you as she asked about the pieces but it was Homelander who had the most to say about the works, leaving you left out but happy, you knew that face of his so well, to see it on your daughter’s face made your day.

He had taken the opportunity to discuss your employment not your relationship, giving you list of things Ryan should eat, would not eat, wanted to try and things he wanted to try himself, then your hours and some odd request about handling Ryan’s school lunches being instagram worthy, handing you socials to research for such task.

You started work that following week, the Vought kitchens were top of the line, your job was to meet all of his requirements, some of the chefs that recognized you looked at you with relief and curiosity, wanting to know what had happened to you but you were unwilling to share. That first breakfast was returned with clean plates, even the waiter was shocked when he saw empty plates come out of his penthouse.

It had been so long since you could play with such new equipment, this was it, this was the place you belong in, him or not involved this was your happy place now.

Two weeks had passed.

 As you headed for the staff elevator you met Homelander, who had honestly just been waiting for you.

“I got the paperwork sorted… you just have to sign and fill stuff. Nice school! Great stem program not that Helena will find it hard.” he said politely, his posture extra stiff.

“Did you do a background check on her?” you looked around for witnesses.

“Hard not to. Our kid is the captain of the math club… her school team has won most of the math competitions in the last four years. Not to mention the piano recitals, and science competitions”  He looked so proud– her grades are perfect. She might be the smartest little girl in the city.”

“She’s the smartest little girl in the world.”

“And her new school would let the whole world know just that.” He said matching your smug.

You watched him carefully waiting for him to spit out what he wanted to say, either about her schooling or something else.

Helena was allowed to continue attending her old school until you were ready for transfer, he had only briefly talked to you for school discussions, and with great disinterest on what made each school good or not, if anything you found yourself doing this for his son as well, thinking of what this school would do for his well being, and if it was the best choice for a homeschooled kid, and how would this new school commute affect Helena’s after school routine. 

On the days you didn’t work in Vought’s towers she was still babysat or stayed at Lucci’s, she was too young to be left at home, even if you knew she was perfectly safe, but no matter what she was still little. 

During the days you worked in the tower she was kept in the company daycare in the 20th floor, most of the kids there were normal but there was at least one other super-abled child her age, it made you happy to see her interact with a similar kid even if said kid abilities involved phasing thru objects all willy-nilly and make objects phase thru other objects, making you worry of what would happen if he lost focus and Helena got caught inside a wall.

“By the way our kid escaped the daycare.” He held the elevator open for you as he entered, before you could panic he shot you a charming smile– is okay she’s at the gym…”

Your eyes had welled up regardless, you jumped into the metal box pressing the bottom frantically.

“She’s perfectly safe… A-Train is there and so it's that… Noir… her and the only little Supe kid decided to do some mischief, but I kept my ears on her all day.”

Forcing yourself to take deep breaths as the elevator smoothly traveled to the lower floors.

“Is it not her that I am worried for.” you said firmly.

You followed him as he guided you through an unfamiliar floor, inside the large colosseum gym that had been fitted to test somebody’s athletic skills you found your daughter floating in her wavy bubble, but all you saw was your kid swaying in the air.

“Helena get down here immediately!!!” You ran after her reaching for the kid as her bored expression was replaced with embarrassment as she descended into your arms– you cannot run away from daycare!”

“I don’t want to be surrounded by babies.”

“Helena you are a baby!” you squeezed her against yourself, just glad she was still in one piece, you noticed the other small kid in the room– jesus…”

Carrying your kid you reached for the other one, taking his hand.

“Hey sweetie… let me take you back to daycare before your mommy or daddy gets worried.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked meekly.

“No, but Helena is so grounded.”

“Mom!”

“Don’t mom me! You have any idea how dangerous that was!”

“Oh don’t get mad at the kid, she was just acting like a kid. Don’t be such a buzzkill” he mocked you.

“I don’t want or need your opinion– now you got two seconds to explain yourself!”

You began to gently drag yourself and your kid’s victim out of the gym, A-Train absolutely shocked to see anybody talk to Homelander like that.

“Look I had A-Train and Noir come check them out, they were safe!” He chased after you.

“Oh that was your doing.” Helena said–  "I really wanted to meet A-Train” she waved innocently at the Supe, who returned the gesture as a true professional– and... Mom… I wanted to see the building, that’s all… sorry I used Elmo to escape… but his powers were just too useful”

“You cannot use people like that.” you said in shock.

“People like being used.” Her words were just cold as she wriggled herself out of your arms, falling without touching the ground, she took Elmo’s hand taking the small kid towards the exit– some people are born serfs.” She mumbled to herself.

Homelander's heart beat violently– oh his daughter was a brat and had a questionable attitude, he hadn’t even interacted much with her, but he was proud. His whole body went light and his smile couldn’t be contained as he saw the small girl with true love in his eyes, this was the moment he saw her as truly his own.

Ryan was still reluctant to accept his father’s philosophy, but this little one understood that she was born better from the start on her own.

She turned around to face you again, little Elmo sucked on his thumb as her eyes glowed pale blue.

“Is it alright if I come to the training gym if I ask permission first?” 

“I…”

“Of course all Supe’s should know to keep their powers top notch. You are more than welcome to use the facilities.” Homelander had cut you off, petting the little girl’s head as he approached the duo– Just ask your mother so she doesn’t have a heart attack. Then again this is one of the safest places in all of New York and little Helena over here is perfectly safe, after all I am here.” He said while staring at you.

His voice was sweet, you were defeated as Helena tried to contain that cheshire grin of hers while staring at you– he was your boss , and the Homelander so could you really go against him so publicly?

“You had a terrorist attack in this building… but I guess…” She ignored him again then looked straight at you– I learned something new today.” 

A-Train and Noir exchanged concerned looks taking a few step backs, Homelander seemed intrigued to watch your reaction, you gave way, unable to speak, just frustrated as your ex looked just as smug as his kid.

Little Elmo scoot behind her– in the round gymnasium a cement boulder hanged in chains, her eyes glowed the brightest you’ve ever seen, lifting her hand with one quick swipe the boulder broke in half, the dust showing the invisible blade bending light, it gain a blue color as it was touched before fading, she looked so proud of herself, you stared at Homelander and now you understood why nobody had informed you that your daughter was missing. It didn’t sit well with you.

“you’re still grounded for a whole week.”

“But Mom!!”

You had walked into a trap, one you did so willingly, jailed in a nice house, any hope of Homelander being driven away or losing interest in her was gone as he looked at her with pure adoration in his eyes.

You got used to it… this prison was lovely, it was nice to come back to a spacious cell. Homelander had indeed brought his decorator to your house but you didn’t want designer furniture and high end stuff, you kept it simple and cheap, most of your stuff second hand and from Ikea, only relenting to agree with the poor designer over the kitchen, his budget was absurd for the task, only taking advantage to purchase all the appliances of your dreams, you indeed needed a air fryer that matched your splashback.

Helena was happy to have a room that felt like a bedroom, large bookcases that could be filled with her own books, a small courtyard facing her doors, where she now could sit down and read with the breeze in her hair. She seemed happy, euphoric when she began her new school, making you forget what was happening in the background at times.

Homelander would come from time to time to speak to you about mundane stuff and work, his patience saintly as he allowed you to get used to his company once more, just so you could be okay with him entering her life, but then again he was your jailer.

He himself had begun forcing himself into her life when you weren’t around, it was all a matter of timing and perception.

Homelander watched the daycare center, from afar, a much needed service, it occupied a whole floor, the tower employed thousands of people in its 99th floor so there had to be help for those mothers and fathers who needed to work but had children with no babysitters, it was one of the many appealing things about being employed by Vought, and the center offered a variety of activities for all age groups.

Helena saw it as a jungle, all these children just a bunch of savages, keeping Elmo around not because she liked his company but because he was the only other Supe child in her age group, he was a sweet kid, afraid of bugs and that liked to talk about cartoons, frankly it was a challenge to figure out what to do with him. Homelander watched as she taught the kid to play chess, taking hours to explain the basics as the seven year old had very little clue what was happening, but in its own way it was nice to talk to another kid like himself.

Homelander even bothered to do a background check on the child– both of his dad’s both worked at Vought one in hero management and the other in marketing, both very busy bees it seems… he had done the same with all of Ryan’s new classmates, he knew their entire families before his kid even stepped foot and said hello to any of them, all done before he started school the same week as Helena– there was the big issue of her being on the 10th grade while her older brother just began the 6th grade, so he couldn’t enjoy seeing the both of them interacting, it was hard to witness for he wanted both kids to become closer so desperately.

Hence why he was standing on the foyer of the daycare center, a young lady that looked too cheerful for her own good, welcomed Homelander.

“Hi! How can I help you today, Homelander? Are you looking to enroll little Ryan?” She swayed side to side trying to see if the kid was behind him by any chance.

“Actually… am here to speak to one of the kids… hmm… Helena L/N.” He said with a firm tone– I believe her mother left a message.”

Homelander texted you an hour before cominf down, not even asking you that he was going to take her for training, you were stuck in the kitchen helping with some work function taking place tonite, a thousand canapes had to be made and you were stuck with the pistachio and lemon layer cakes.

You had no time to argue, taking your precious break time to make phone calls and try not to use your knife on the nearest asshole who pissed you off afterwards.

She hopped on the desk seeking for any notes, and he was indeed correct.

Now he had her all for himself, you prayed he wasn’t going to drop the news on her, but you couldn’t leave and abandoned your team, she was safe, you had to believe she was safe, she was smart, she was so smart and she could escape him, you just had to trust her.

“Can I bring Elmo?” Helena looked up at Homelander, a slight ache building on her neck as she looked up at the man– he might get lonely.”

“He’s not a dog.” He didn’t even try putting on a soft babied voice with her– and I wanted to talk to you.”

“But he’s always ‘The Dog’ when we play house.” She faked the most innocent voice she could muster, turning around to look at the glass doors  dividing the friends– … He will probably sneak out to the gym if he gets lonely, they got his favorite snacks today… he told me liked five times and I think they’re playing Bluey on the tv.”

“Oh! and you play mommy?” He grimaces so hard his eyebrows touch.

“No, the robber.”

He led the way and she was more than happy to explore the building as they headed downstairs.

“What do you think of them?”

“Elaborate.”

“Those without powers.” she wished she could see his expression– and be honest. None of this ‘Wednesday Addams’ crap.”

He looked around at the sea of smart casual fits and stress on the floors above, the world moving so fast paced, nothing but monkeys hurling shiny rocks while playing dress-up.

“They can be useful, if they are not… then they don’t matter to me.”

He smiled, his heart fluttering and his stomach filled with butterflies as he heard her speak– why did Ryan struggle so much to understand this? He thought.

“When you are born with such gifts–

“I might be a kid but I am very familiar with your Compound V, I already had this talk with my mother. Fascinating stuff… I am still trying to understand the whole dosage thing… How does your company decide which kid to give more versus others? Did they just look at who could provide the best backstory before deciding between 10 mils versus the whole vial.” 

She stared at the glass walls where the kids were housed, the tone of her voice still flat.

“Why you say that?”

“I’m a poor kid from the projects, with a single mom, formerly homeless and now with enough powers to make Athena envious. Not to mention how 92% of supes are white but the percentage below middle class to poor is almost the same as with the 6% blacks, while the percentage of upper class white supes is closer to the same percentage of 2% asians and latino supes… if anything a good chunk of latino and asian supes are upper class… something-something model minority yadah-yadah.” she pressed the elevator door– I’d make a good story. Shame that I can’t be a Supe.”

Homelander stared at her, placing his hand on the back of her head.

“You can be anything you want, Helena. You have been blessed beyond belief with powers… if you want to be Supe then you are ready for major leagues.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Only the 1% of superheroes ever make it to the major leagues, most supes never achieve anything beside D-list status and everybody is fighting for the crumbs left behind by your posse of clowns– is not a fiscally responsible decision. A career that can only exist on extreme gambling is not one that can make money. Not to mention am not cute or tall." She took the first step into the elevator– I never want my mother to worry about money. I want to buy her a mansion on top of a cliff staring at the ocean, have a dozen maids care for the house and she can just spend the rest of her life in luxury”

She turns to see him crossing her arms with a serious look on her tiny face.

“My goal is to take your job.”

“The Seven?” He grinned.

“Vought.”

“I can wait to see you try.” he grinned.

“It won’t be that hard… At least when I am in charge security will be tighter.”

Bottles of V dropped from above Homelander’s head, he caught most of them but a few were lost, those were hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of drops staining his pants and shoes, Helena caught one bottle, sliding it between nimble fingers back and forth.

“Don’t look so surprised, it seems this is a common occurence… Here's an unwanted tip: use biometrics and only allow lab techs to enter the 67th floor, not just rely on good will, clown.” sections of her body and clothes flicked back and forth between visible and invisible, taunting him about how easy it had been to steal them using her superpowers.

As his eyes took an extra tinge of red, he saw a brief flash of pale blue encasing her, he followed her to the entrance of the Gym, where she expected to be left alone with Homelander not to find another kid.

“The prodigal son.” she mumbles.

Ryan sat on top of some raised stepping stones in the recently established obstacle course, Helena imagined she needed to know parkour in lieu of flying abilities, which seemed redundant for the kid who could fly.

“Thought you two could practice together.” He shouted while placing the V on the nearest bench.

“Guess there are ways to successfully murder a child and get away with it.” She raised an eyebrow– and here I thought you wouldn’t be irked by the words of a little girl… like I said you’re a maladjusted person.”

“I don’t hurt children. I have no idea…” he said calmly while a little bit angry, as he returned to her side.

“I dunno– it would look really bad if the press found out that you’re a deadbeat.”

His expression dropped as the little girl's eyes glowed.

“Smartest little girl in the world… or...?” She said dryly, as she headed towards Ryan to save him the walk– my bubble refracts light, easy to spot if you notice images are wavering without the heat.”

The little boy ran cheerfully after his father, who for the first time ignored him, his eyes transfixed on the little girl, who had been playing stupid all along.

taglist-- @fromforeigntofamiliarity , @demodemo909 and @immyowndefender

here's the house:

[mamirhodessxox]

Silly prompts I decided not to publish

Indications of smut

IHYM

🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤

“I mean it made sense to put you as an assassin, your killing body count is over 60.” “Okay well I have my reasons.” Cody & Sasha

“So what do we do if we get caught by the fbi?” “We won’t.” 2 hours later “State your name & why your in here please” “god fucking damnit seth.”-Marianna & Seth

“Is sasha okay? She came out here limping.” “Don’t worry about it Barbra. You wouldn’t wanna know”-Barbra & Randy

“Be a good girl & sit here, don’t speak don’t think just look pretty f’me kay?” “Fine but I expect you to fuck me later.”-Cody & Sasha

“WHO THE FUCK RUINED MY DEVILED EGGS FOR EASTER!?” “Uh ohhh…”-Marianna & seth

*Cody & Randy seeing one of romans business buildings blow up during a heist & start running by sasha* “Sasha what did you do?!” “Oh my god stop! I made sure nobody was in there! I’m just a girl.” “It’s like 2001 all over again.” “What did she do in 2001?!” “Nothing you should worry about right now.”Cody, Sasha & Randy

“Guys I think I’m lactose intolerant” “You didn’t think about that when you broke the fucking toilet in 2013?” “Shut up.”-Seth & Cody

“Why is Sasha on the kitchen table singing 80’s music?” “She’s drunk.”-Cody & Marianna

*Barbra holding a 70’s house party & Sasha pushing a fake mustache on his face & seth walks in* “OHh shit! Freddie Mercury in the hizzhouse!” “Shut the fuck up Seth.” “C’mon sing! Sing me bohemian rhapsody.” “I’m going to kill you when your sisters not looking.”-Seth & Cody

“GUYS I THINK I BROKE MY RIB DOING THE FUCKING WORM?!” “I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THE WORM NOBODY DOES THAT IN THE 70S” “OKAY WELL I STILL DID IT!”-Cody & Sasha

“State your name & Age.” “I want to speak to my lawyer.” “You blew up an entire bus full of cocaine. We don’t think you should have a lawyer.”-FBI Agent & Seth

“I don’t think you should cuss around a baby.” “Really? I don’t think you should be around a fucking baby.”-Seth & Cody

“Cody & I have decided that we are just gonna be the cool rich Aunt & Uncle because I really don’t feel like tearing open my vagina for a child who’s got a large head like Cody.” “Okay my head was NOT that big as an infant relax” “whatever You say airhead”-Sasha & Cody

“Now who the hell is gonna give me grandchildren?” “Don’t worry mom I’m still seeing Becky.” “The fact becky still wants you is shocking.”-Barbra, Seth & Randy

“Marianna what did you do with Athena’s body?” “Fed it to an orca.” “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FEED HER TO AN ORCA?” “I have my ways.”-Randy, Seth & Marianna

“I like my women mentally unstable.” “Of course you do, that why you’re dating my sister.” “She does it so well.” “At being a psychopath? Yeah no fuck.”-Cody & Seth

“Bunny where’s my briefcase.” “I set it on fire and dumped it in the ocean.” “Why the fuck would you do that?” “I thought the FBI was going to raid search the house yesterday.”-Randy & Marianna

“guys look I’m a cowgirl for halloween!” “But can you ride me like a cowgirl?” “Cody can you please let me enjoy this costume and get out of my face?”-Sasha & Cody

“Is Sasha okay I hear screaming upstairs?” “Don’t worry about it.”-Marianna & Randy

*Sasha limping a little bit while walking around a mall.* “Sash’ are you okay?? Did you hurt your ankles?” “No but I hurt her va-“ “OOOKAY CODY…Why don’t you look at cigars or something.”-Marianna, Cody & Randy

“Cody where are my panties?” “I ripped them..?” “Why would you do that?!” “Because i was about to rearrange your guts??”-Sasha & Cody

*Sasha, Randy, Marianna, Cody & Seth sneaking into Romans house* “Does anyone know where Sasha Went?” *Gunshots* “found her.”-Randy & Marianna

“Where is Sasha?” *Random screaming in the kitchen & Seth yelling back* “It’s about to get VERY bloody soon somebody stop her.”-Barbra

“Thank you for taking me out to dinner! I really needed it” “I know you did sweetheart, you almost cut off Seth’s hand for breathing near you”-Marianna & Randy

*Randy & Mari at the mall “CAN I PLEASE GET ONE MORE?” “bunny you said that last time to the last 6 other stuffies” “PLEAAA-“ *Randy buying the 80000th stuffed animal* “Thank you :3”-Randy & Marianna

🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤

🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41 @femdisa @kabloswrld @claymoresofinfamy23 @jeysbvck

[wheneverfeasible]

I used this link to see what my writing style was like and I—

I am humbled by this honor. It’s not the first time someone has told me my writing style was reminiscent of Mr. Gaiman’s and it remains to this day the highest and greatest compliment I have ever received.

I doubt @neil-gaiman will see this, but I really had to share.

[skydiving-without-a-parachute]

please recommend me some ian mcshane fics either here or on ao3 because i am fucking starving

[intrepid-fictioneer-7]

New work! This time ASOIAF, with a dash of, as you can probably guess from the title, American Gods.

[ao3feed-madwife]

Emotionally-Stunted Psycho-Sexual Performances

by Magpiie

Laura and Sweeney treat Doyle like a toy - and he'd be delighted, if they actually played with him once in a while.

Or, Doyle calls them out for being toxic and weird and they double down.

Words: 4908, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: American Gods (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Multi

Characters: Laura Moon, Mad Sweeney (American Gods), Liam Doyle (American Gods)

Relationships: Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney, Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney/Liam Doyle

Additional Tags: Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism, Choking, spit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53182291

[voxmortuus]

Hello Summer Event!

Hello everyone! It's getting to be about that time in parts of the world! SUMMER! Warm weather, sizzling BBQs, pool parties and so much more! Well, I've hit 2.2k followers and want to celebrate with all of you! I'm coming back from a super long hiatus and I want to come back with a bang... so I introduce to you my Summertime Event! My requests are fully open! I will kick off my event today until the end of August and then we will change gears for the weather! You have been so supportive over the years and I couldn't thank you more! The love I get daily on my old and new creations warms my heart! So let's create more together! So send in your requests and let's create summertime memories! I will take requests for anything that isn't on my masterlist as well so don't limit yourself to what you see on that. I pride myself on not limiting myself! If you're curious, please don't hesitate to drop into my inbox and ask. So send in those requests and let me help you create your vision!

[blakeivy80]

ppppffffff I mean....uuuuhhh, wanna say....myyyy myyyyy oooohh

Is there enough sounds available to express the feeling ? I don't think so !!

"What kind of dream is this?

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare Either way I don't wanna wake up from you"

Sweet dreams - Beyonce

[sellingsecrets]

Sadie used to dread this time of day—hated leaving the bustle of the office to face an empty apartment and the perennial choice between takeout and freezer-burned Lean Cuisine as the shimmering sounds of the city wafted in through the windows—yet being in Katherine's kitchen makes something unspool inside her, something she didn't even realize had been wound way too tight. (Post-season 2 accidental domesticity.)