#how am i going to send any of them back
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they really did this to me huh
#rays spoilers#rays talk#all my screaming about the epilogue on live went to a chat with v so i never really posted about it on here#(i also didn't want to spoil anything)#but MAN#julius referencing his lv10 trust skit#knowing he was at the verge of death since before canon starts#(you can see him clutching the wrist of the catalyzed hand while ludger's being evaluated in an uncomfortable/pain gesture)#elle saying what she does#and how we know victor and ludger being able to be alive at the same time#is the one thing that'd not happen in the canon not even in a million years#and ludger who (as i interpreted it at least but i could be wrong)#is reassuring elle but at the same time worrying that he didn't know about julius' and everyone's suffering#the way he words it reminds me of both victor's entry in the short story (「世界の真実」)#and the bad end summary saying he never knew how much julius went through for him (「ずっと俺のために傷ついていたユリウス」 vs rays' 「兄さんたちの苦しみを……」)#alt milla and victor don't speak but#man everyone in this screenshot fucking dies#how am i going to send any of them back#x2 talk
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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I lied I think it’s fun to draw animals sometimes
#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#team sonic#hey. still dont expect more sonic stuff okay. this is an exception#(I say as I immensely enjoy scribbling these animals)#man. Im mad how good these designs are tbh theyre so (clenches fists) theyre so! scribbleable!#hate that! dont like that dont like how much fun it is to draw them!#also I made amy spiky bc I want to and I can. and also shes a hedgehog#gods. thinking abt it sonic designs cater to me to such a disgusting level... the cartoon gloves... the big shapes.... the varied footwears#it's like psychonauts raz was so fuckign fun to draw. but here it's the whole cast#it's fucked up! it's entrapment!! I didn't consent to this!!!#next time they give any of the characters a big coat I'm sending sega a strongly worded letter. they cant do that to me#well. here it is anyway. genuinely these all took like an hour each I drew them as breaks inbetween work#(an hour for me is equivalent to other artists' fifteen minutes btw. I'm not fast at all I just don't know when to stop)#well. that done. back to work now#I am actually so excited abt the current one lol its just also gonna be a pain in the ass to coordinate#but I really wanna do well with it. go crazy go stupid baku!!#have a good night! a good pair of boots is worth the money but only if you can tie the strings together & wear it on ur neck in emergencies
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I get mad about this on the regular I know and I've gotten hate mail over this subject before but the amount of insane hate togafuka as a pairing gets is honestly disgusting. Like, way too far by all and any means. The togafuka community is small and mainly consists of cute domestic posts about them living together in a healthy and loving relationship (mind you, these are two consenting adults who are not biologically related to each other), and people will scream to the heavens how it's disgusting because it would THEORETICALLY be abusive/toxic in canon and like... ok, where's the abuse content? Where's the hundreds of thousands of togafuka shippers who are making abuse fetish content then, if we're theoretically fetishizing abuse that ISN'T EVEN CANON, because they are not in a relationship and never have been?
Trying to say that two characters would have an abusive relationship when you don't know HOW they would behave in a relationship, because they have never canonically dated ANYONE, is atrocious logic. I could say ANY ship was abusive because NO Danganronpa pairing has ever been canonized. I could call Gundham and Sonia an abusive relationship. I could call Makoto and Kyoko an abusive relationship, because I personally believe that if they were in a relationship, it would be abusive, but I don't, because that is fucking insane people behavior. I have no idea what they would be like together!! The only thing I would have to base this off of is fan content, which depicts these couples in happy and loving relationships, JUST LIKE THE TOGAFUKA FANDOM DOES!!
The hate that that pairing gets also goes way too far entirely. I remember how uninhabitable instagram was for a while (possibly even to this day, I'm not sure as I don't much use it anymore) because the togafuka tag was spammed with so much irl gore and selfharm, and even posts that weren't gore and sh were just people talking about how much they fucking hated togafuka and how gross and abusive it was. The only hatemail I have ever gotten on this blog in my entire life, in almost a decade on this site, has been about togafuka. Just stop and think about how fucking batshit insane it is to direct this much hate and vitriol towards someone for being a fan of two non-related adults in a healthy, consenting relationship.
#togafuka#togafuka haters stay disgusting and insane like girl what the fuck <3#I think sending someone images of people with their wrists cracked open and telling them to kill themselves over fictional blorbos#is horrendous! Go back to whatever hole you came from tho. Get well soon#tw self harm#/personal#also kindly shut the fuck up about how 'ohh toko wlw pairings dont get any love bcus togafuka is so popular and ur erasing her identity' bs#i do not think the pairing that is getting their entire tag taken over by gore and hate is 'more popular' than your fucking pairing toko#with an actual child.#also i am a bisexual woman in a relationship with another woman who also headcanons toko as bi with a pref for women. she still loves togam#i am not 'erasing' shit bi women can date men jfc
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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What is a Monday? A miserable little pile of obligations.
semester turnover restructure
generate/send out error reporting
figure out how to separate out unique counts
create polite reply to Massive Dick Move email
finish the bad book >:(
bò kho (not an obligation. dinner)
laundry
lizard bath
#yapping tag#I spent my weekend trying to sleep and now all my chores are due today and I wanna complain. grump grump grump whine.#the semester turnover restructure actually is a pet project so that part I like! I wish I could take my time with it though#the error reporting is. well it's easy to generate (it's actually running now) and it's tedious but uncomplicated to send out#but then I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting passive-aggressive responses from everybody#in a just world my coworkers would respond to careful itemized lists of all their fuckups with 'thank you Alexis you're so helpful#we really appreciate you flagging our mistakes two weeks before the system final-saves them forever into stone. have a cookie!'#but alas#if I'd been any less stressed and frantic when I first established the error reporting I'd have set up a separate address to send them from#write up some template emails and let the reporting all come out of the mythical 'automatic system thing'#--every 'automatic system thing' in our college is me or IT on my behalf. even the people who hired me for this don't seem to realize#if only I'd known from the beginning that nobody would ever connect me and my systems! I'd be exploiting the shit out of it--#the unique counts is going to be a headache. no idea how I'm going to structure the coding for it. might be fun to invent? we'll see#the Massive Dick Move email response also will be an invention. 'hello Mr Massive Dick I am karma here to smite you' but polite#the bad book >:( I don't want to read any more of but the deal I made with my friend is he sends me free books and I report back#we did not discuss a special 'get out of book free' card for when the main character is a godawful shit sibling. (should've done though)#beef stew is good! mostly it's on the list so I don't forget to set the timers#laundry and lizard bath can wait until tomorrow if they must but they shouldn't wait any longer than that. lizard and I will get stinky
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with “ill sit w you”s &“i listen#with “your feelings are valid” “youre being hard to yourself so im being even softer” with “hey do you wanna play sth”#with “wanna body double” and “i rmb you like this” “have you eaten yet” “can i give you a hug”#with “my treat this time” and “can i come visit you” with “missing you” and “we share this part of life”#with “hey this reminded me of you” and “i dont need this but i thought you could” with “what have you been up to” and#with “do you wanna go there together” and “im getting [food/drink] you want some as well?”#with “i can pretend to be your waifu and help with chores” and “lets cook together” with “lets go on a walk together”#with “tell me when youre home” with “take care” and “enjoy!” with “hows your day been” “howd you sleep”#with “tell me about your dream last night” “show me your outfit” with “how are you” and “i can explain it to you again” with “i'll wait”#with “nice to hear from you again” and “i try to understand” with “im glad a late answer is better than none from you”#with “you cannot see your own effort but i can” with “how can i help you” and “just wanted to see/hear you” with “hey take this food w you”#with “i dont mind doing that for you” with ┌|∵|┐┌|∵|┐when seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#“i will try for you” “i'll try remind you” “i can wake you up” this all will get its own post one day
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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I being so fucking normal about this fit on him rn I'm beingsofuckingnormal I'm beingsofuckin nor-
#you have no idea how fucking long I've been drooling crying begging and just screaming for them to do a Lost boy kill count#like I just watched the podcast maybe like a week ago and I'm just like rocking back and forth on my bed like they're going to post a video#<--real soon#and oh my God I watched the video of the kill count in there's so many things I wish they talked about on there but I'm grateful to get it#they did talk about the sequels and.....ekkkk... I mean it's only based off of high demand so let's hope to God no one talks about it#or send any emails for them I mean if they talk about the remake that's fine I haven't really seen that one I know Sebastian stan is in it#oh my God I feel like I'm about to be so fucking annoying about the movie again I think I'm going to just start posting random shit about it#also lately I've been more happy to be posting and drawing again than usual#so I might be back on doodling and drawing random shit or actually I've been having more confidence in myself to start posting doodles#why do I bring that up because oh I don't know...wink wonk 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤗🤗 😉😉😉😉😜😜😜#my laptop kind of sucks now so I'm going to buy a new one probably this month or next month so I'll be drawing and posting doodles#I'm also thinking about posting some of my recent sketches I have in my notebook but don't expect any Picasso or Vince Van Gogh for me#I know I'm good but like I'm not that good lol im jking kinda sorta maybe not relaly okay yeaj am BUT!!!#I feel like I'm back on my drawing shit again and if I don't finish your drawing I'll just still post it because why the fuck not I'm young#let's fuck around and have some fun why not huh#man I can't believe I'm actually really rambling here but yeah I'm happy to say that I'm going to be back on my stupid shit ❤️#kill count
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... first and foremost, I would like to apologize for any discomfort I've caused you, Kim. now, I'm not the most... socially apt person. but I really, sincerely, do *not* mean you any harm. I'm not intending to come off as creepy, I can, however, understand why you'd be uncomfortable or perhaps concerned by these gifts and all. (I mean, shit. if somebody mailed me a painting of me dancing with them, I'd be weirded out too, flattered, granted. but weirded out.) I never really expected anything to happen, I guess I just... felt the need to tell you how I feel about you, get *that* off my chest, at least. even if you don't feel the same way that I do. (which is fine, and understandable! I get it.) as for why I've sent you gifts... I suppose I just wanted to show you how I felt with something other than a note or whatever. *just* a note feels kinda cheap. I'd rather give you something that's at least a bit useful to you (hence those custom made drumsticks.). I hope you find success in whatever future endeavors you do. and I hope that you don't find this note too off-putting. enclosed is something that I hope you and the rest of Sex Bob-Omb like. -sincerely, the guy who said he had a crush on you. *enclosed is a folded, custom made Sex Bob-Omb poster, it's actually quite well made. it's an homage to the album 'Ramones', by The Ramones, featuring Sex Bob-Omb's lineup leaning back against a brick wall. unlike the original album cover, it's in color and not black-and-white.*
ooc: answering this as though it is in the nebulous but near future! I just didn't want to leave this lingering any longer; sorry for the delay! Hopefully I have left things vague enough for myself to wedge it back in the timeline of the blog later lol
Kim lets out a long, weary sigh as she finally gets back to the relative peace of her room, taking a moment to rest back against her shut door and scrub at her face. The energy and emotional exhaustion of everything that had happened between the last time she'd been here and now seemed to be sinking into her bones, and she wanted little more than to sink to her knees right there and just be comatose for a while.
She knew from experience, however, that the floor was cold and miserable like that, especially this time of year; so, instead, she opts to shrug off her coat and toss it blindly in the direction of her desk, trudging towards her bed. She closes her eyes and lets herself fall forward into it, ready to finally, properly rest, maybe even unpack her thoughts about everything- but then, she hears the crinkle of paper as she makes contact with the sheets, and her eyes fly open while she rolls to the side and, thankfully, off of the object.
She blinks down at an envelope that had been tossed haphazardly on the bed, probably by Hollie, and after a moment recognizes the style of it. Oh, that one guy... how long has this been here? Did I miss this before I left? She hesitates briefly, mostly just in resistance to the idea of having to continue actively thinking, but sighs and sits up anyway. She won't be able to relax if it's just sitting there, tempting her.
Propping up her pillows, she leans back against them and opens it, pulling out both the letter and the folded poster. She looks over the letter first, and after a moment, lets out another sigh, this time a short, guilty thing. The words feel genuine, so she can't help but feel slightly bad about her previous response, but... Well, if they knew anything about her, they might've expected it. She tries to take comfort in that fact, glancing over in the general direction she left the drumsticks. Then, she pulls out her phone and snaps a picture of the letter, opening her blog to begin her reply.
Hey, sorry this too so long to get back to. Life and things; with how people talk, maybe you've heard about the party by now? Julie's ragers, am I right? The apology is appreciated... and accepted. I think I believe you, especially given you're acknowledging the creep factor there. I'm not really a big gift person, I guess, so it was a little off putting just to begin with, anything else aside. I think you've already given me more than my parents got me for Christmas, and I don't even have a name for you beyond "Crush Guy." But, hey, it's far from the most uncomfortable I've been in these situations, so you're actually doing fairly alright in that regard. Thank you for the well wishes; I'll probably be needing them, ha! And no, I think you've quelled the fires against you, for now. (Joking- this is why I do the stupid videos...)
She pauses briefly, looking over at the newest gift and carefully unfolds it, trying to work out the creases as she goes. Once it's unveiled, she stops to look at it for a long while, a bit surprised by how much she genuinely likes it. She sets it aside with a mental note to hang it up later- ideally before their next band practice. She wouldn't be attaching a photo of it to the post, to help keep the surprise til then.
And again for the gifts. I think the rest of the band will really dig this one, honestly- especially Stills. It's very nice.
She gives it a once over before nodding to herself and hitting send, content. Then, setting the letter and the poster further aside, as to not crumple them, Kim moves to curl up at the top of her bed in a tight ball, eyes sliding shut peacefully. I'll think about things later. Ball time, she thinks idly, and then thankfully, blissfully, proceeds to continue thinking nothing at all.
#(ooc: dude as i was writing this my roommate busted out some chicken pho and i am so ravenous rn. god damnit. why can i never FOCUS sdfskjf)#(ooc: if i get any asks after this posts and it takes a hot minute its because im going off on my own pho i want it so bad but. this first.#(ooc: i was really debating how to have her respond to these- but i think with ramona having responded to them too this is the best way?)#(ooc: briefly considered funny quirky “anon mail” system where she could send something back through the same envelope. like it just poofs#+ and returns to the sender with whatever's enclosed)#pine.txt#asks#anon#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#Crush Guy#(ooc: anyway the second kim has a single thought after this she's taking the biggest bong hit /j but make not who's to say)#((ooc: it's me. im to say. really it depends on the thought but if she wants to continue not stressing herself out then the answer is yes))#(ooc: also no kims on this one bc i didnt want it to get lost in my drafts since it'd get flung back a good ways)#(that one tag is supposed to say maybe not. dying inside.)
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Mercado Libre has what's perhaps the worst app in the business, which is really embarrassing considering its size, and also just godawful customer service. I would prefer not to switch to amazon if I could help it, but goddamn.
#how many times do I have to scan my damn face and send you pics of my documents#I am embarrassed of this at this point#there's 2fa and then there's whatever this is#yeag sorry I no longer have the same phone number as when I made this account over a decade ago I guess#I'll try to send you my docs for the third time and scan my face AGAIN I guess#no it wasn't helpful at all WHY DID YOU SEND ME AN EMAIL PATTING YOURSELF IN THE BACK FOR THAT INTERACTION#you failed to help me in any way what the fuck??#if I could record my screen rn I would show you me going to their website. being asked if I prefer to continue using the app or the browser#choosing browser and then it opens the app. how on earth do you even fuck that up. I#personal#I actually have like. an unclaimed ninty eshop 20 usd card on my og account#that neither the seller nor the website will let me receive on a second account#no matter how I've offered to prove my identity#I guess it just sits in my messages forever now#I contacted them with the e-mail address I have linked to that account I can't access rn and had the worst interaction I have ever had#'hey I have a product key waiting in my messages but can't currently access that account at the moment. I can provide you witu verification#'I'm sorry we can only verify you if you were to contact us through this method w the same e-mail address you have linked to that account'#'... this IS that e-mail address. I've just explained it to you'#'You can use your e-mail address or username with a password to access your account and your messages screen'#'As I've already told you. It is not letting me even after I submit verification through your facial recog and document scan methods'#'we're sorry. you can try sending us an e-mail with the e-mail address (art**********@outlook.com.br) you have linked to the account'#'.....................this is that exact e-mail address. the one You Are Responding To Right Now. I've already told you this#*they send me a link to reset my password... for some reason*#*I sent them yet another. more politely and clearly worded message explaining my situation-#-that I no longer have the phone number they want me to authenticate it with and their alt methods all end up in failures when I try*#*they send a message telling me my support ticket has been marked as concluded and asking me to rate the interaction*#(an ad for their crypto business adorns the signature of that e-mail as a final Fuck You)#partway through the whole thing I started wondering about the cadence of their support's response and... I think it might be AI 🤦🏼♂️
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*sending an email asking for interview feedback as if that wasn't the best interview of my life and if you made me interview again I would burst into tears'
#Stage fright do be frightening#It was such a good interview too#I couldn't have asked for that interview to go any better than it did other than if he offered me the job at the end#Just wasn't enough sadly#Even though it's been like 4 days since the rejection message#I wrote a very friendly and polite email though so hopefully I'll get a nice response back#I think I really was very close to getting the job but we'll have to see#I always forget that interviews aren't usually a one and done kinda thing#That you really want them to ask you to interview again#I just get so nervous#Like how could I top what I already put my all into#Beeg sigh#I'll just have to keep an eye out for any other job openings at that facility#Or pray that the not so great interview I did for the other job was good enough#I'm sending that interviewer an email tomorrow morning as well#Hoping some extra info will beef up my candidacy for the job#Or at least remind him that I exist and am willing to put my all into whatever job I manage to land#Getting down to the wire now#If every job I apply for takes 2 weeks just to give me even a vague idea of how well I'm faring then I'm fucked#There's less than a month left in this program and I have to have a job squared away before it ends#Or they'll try to shove me in whatever role is available#I can always go back home but that's quitter talk and also might get me blacklisted in the industry#Plus I'd have to payback the bonus which wouldn't be so bad if it was 1 for 1 but it was taxed so damn heavily#That I'd be out like 800 bucks ugh#Oh the anxiety
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y’all ever think about kissing your f/o. literally screaming into a pillow
#it’s not FUNNY i want to kiss a fictional man so bad right now it makes me look DUMB#hold on i need to be embarrassing for a sec#i’m thinking like… specifically those seconds in between kissing them where their eyes are drooped closed and they’re already leaning-#-towards you again and maybe their hair is a bit messed up because of you grabbing it and agdkfhfk#or like…. the kind of kisses where they’re laughing or giggling to themselves in between breaths and their eyes are squeezed shut and-#-they’re just smiling st you the whole time. literally not once dropping it even while kissing you.#SOBBING MAN…. I’M SO DESPERATE TO KISS ANY OF THEM :(((#doesn’t even have to be traditional kisses like#forehead kisses drive me literally insane#doing something kinda dumb and being met with them like snickering while they shake their head#having them push back your hair to kiss the top of your head while teasing you about it#when you’re cupping their face and they’re looking at you so adoringly and they’re cradling your palm to their face#them turning slightly to press a kiss to your palm while nuzzling into it further…… sobs#i am so soft right now i would literally die at just a peck on the cheek. send help#being busy doing something and they come up to watch you work on whatever it is#maybe it’s something you’re already used to and they can just watch you go through the motions like second nature#and for some reason watching you do something so naturally makes them remember just how much they love every bit of you#so they turn their head to kiss your cheek and when you look st them they just flash you a small smile before going back to whatever#OR OR getting kissed awake by them…. having them press little pecks all over your face when you’re already half awake…… aahdjfbfknc#literally kicking my legs in bed right now i am so not normal over any of these guys#ANYWAY hi tumblr. normal 11pm rainy activities i swear#i’m supposed to be packing…. oops#i’ll go do that right now BUT DO KNOW physically i am doing that mentally i am thinking of kissing fictional boys from a card game show#rainy.file#quartzshipping
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I'm gonna talk about this once and then never mention it again lol because I'm a loser like that. So I'm writing this post httyd 3 fic that takes place when Zephyr and Nuffink are teens (I think maybe 15 and 13) and it's such a self indulgent fic that I'm literally too embarrassed to ever post it. Most of the characters are ocs. I've ignored the canon kids' canon personalities. I bring the dragons back. I do want I want.
#Me: I don't care about being cringe#also me: if anyone knows about this fic I will delete everything#To be fair I constantly say my main personality trait is being a cringe fail loser (affectionate?)#Basically the plot is that Zephyr never gets to go on any fun adventures and is just cooped up in a restless state and eventually she runs#into Dart (that one Nightlight) who had escaped the hidden world because she also didn't like being cooped up there in a restless state#They team up and try to find a way to bring the dragons back without endangering them#Hiccup's like 'what the heck why would you do this that's a horrible idea??? They went into hiding for a reason???' and Zeph's like 'i do#what I want.'#To tag or not to tag that is the question#I could leave whoever sees this purely up to the Tumblr gods or uhhh if you're already following me#Or I could inflict this onto everyone following the httyd tag#Hmmm#You know what. I do what I want#how to train your dragon#Oh my god and it's also in first person pov. I always talk about how much I don't like 1st person pov in fics but here I am. A hypocrite.#I say I was cursed by the cringe fail loser gods but I AM the cringe fail loser gods#You know what it's gonna be better than Homecoming I'll say that#Fuck you Homecoming you know what you did#send tweet#And post#I've been adding tags to this for thirty minutes come on Jack post the fuckin post#Cheers sláinte and all that#my posts
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there’s no way to express that people keep randomly reaching out to me to talk daily and at length and keep pushing for my space in my life and i really don’t need or more importantly WANT that politely there’s no good way to say that politely
#personal#it just sounds awful! and it makes me feel kinda bad!!!#but people keep like contacting me and just#i’m responding but not reciprocating? if that makes sense? and they’re not doing anything bad by trying to make new connections#and if i really don’t enjoy talking to someone i should just tell them#but it’s not even that i don’t like these people or talking it’s just the frequency and again no good way to say#hey! i’m not really open to expanding our relationship rn. ur fine i like you fine but im dealing with a lot and dont need anything new in#my life in the moment. like no good way to say#and also i hate the ball being put in my court. you came to me. i wasn’t seeking anything i was just here#and then with several of these relationships from their end they want to vent or talk about something that needs real consideration#like art criticism or saying what i like or again venting and other stuff#and it’s like man i am. drinking heavily. i’m having breakdowns bc im not sure my mom is gaslighting me on purpose#i have a full#time job i routinely do OT for and a million other things#i don’t want to be anyone’s rock rn#at least not anyone who’s not a close friend or family#cause if it was any of my besties asking hey can you come to my house so i’m not alone :(#i’m on my way that’s barley anything#girl from high school i had one class with who i have never hung out with uh. no#i don’t want to go to ur house after a 12 hour shift#and there’s a very mean question of like. do you have friends ur closer wirh?#not even judging just like we are not close. do you have closer friends?#and then it’s hard to do replies bc like how are you graham ! how’s life!#i don’t feel comfortable telling you the intimacies of my life and struggles rn#but i can’t give the basic good and you bc you are actively asking for more than that#so i have to think of an appropriate response ask you back and now it’s a vent session about ur life#and then so much is put on you for something you didn’t ask for#like this girl replied to my insta story like can we play iphone games again :(#as much love as i can muster we are grown adults i was just at work. just send the game!!!#i know i’m the weird one here it’s just. a lot of people want relationships with me and i’m tired and don’t need or want more at the moment
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