#and i can’t leave the heart of pf community literally everywhere else is indiscriminately t/d
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#feeling actually. hmm. sick to the stomach at the conversation happening in the discord#just because i haven’t posted my fic there isn’t concrete proof out there that i came up with the story independently#i’m still working on it because i’m slow#and i can’t find anyone willing to beta because 100k words is a whopping undertaking and it’s not even complete#am i going to be acccused of stealing other people’s plots or plagiarising ideas when i finally post#i came up with sending joshua back to childhood before phoenix gate#i came up with dion time loop#but everyone’s spitballing ideas and now i look like a fraud#i came up with it myself!!!#i haven’t spent a whole year painfully chaining word after word after word#completely without support or encouragement or friendship#to find myself in a place where people will say i copied them??? just because i haven’t posted??#or the worst—that my little project is ai-generated based on their prompts?#i didn’t take anyone’s prompt from today to magically start on a project that’s already thousands of words long#a hundred words a day is considered a good day for me that’s how hard and lonely it has been for a whole year#and because no one agreed to beta i don’t even have independent witnesses for the progression of my work#if i am accused of theft or ai it will kill me#it might actually destroy me#aalsjddkhsksjdhfdksk i knew i should have left the discord a long time ago#but if i leave now it’ll look like i stole someone’s ideas and cut and run ffffffff#and i can’t leave the heart of pf community literally everywhere else is indiscriminately t/d#even in waloed ships that i like people randomly bring up that ship for no fucking reason#and the other servers are all so inept and lax at keeping firm control of content that should be limited to the focal ship#it’s not that i think i am the *first* to have any ideas since these are all tropes and well known aus like groundhog#but these specific ideas for this specific ship in this specific pattern was something i thought of independently at least#and now everyone’s brainstormed my whole plot out in a chat and i can’t very well jump in like some absolute asshole#like ‘hey you’re describing my fic actually’#i can’t very well respond to nearly every comment with ‘oh that’s in my story’ ‘this too’ ‘that too’#that would be insufferable even if true#so i can only keep my mouth shut and they’re going to think i ripped off their thoughts and my fic is stillborn
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