#how am i even gonna tag this
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I need a movie about Bernard of Clairvaux. But let me be specific. I want it to be a musical. Featuring epic rap battles. Just imagine Bernard beating Abelard's ass at the synod of Sens with some kick-ass lines. Or a duel between Bernard and Peter the Venerable with groups of Cistercian and Benedictine monks raving in the background. Let the hooded boys have some fun. 🤌✨️
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#the kids are here too but i aint taggin them vaeLKEVJKLJ#snap sketches#posting this now and not obsessing over the details i need to SLEEP#please click/tap and zoom to read anything im sorry theres so much dialogue#i thought i was gonna finish this sooner but i went grocery shopping with my bro today and that took longer than expected !!!!#ALSO CHAT. if youre up to date on My Lore via my tags ... my prof's lettin me submit my assignment ... life's so good...#speaking of life being good i was giggling like stupid while drawing this . i named it 'this is stupid' and i stand by that#this is so unserious im gonna make myself throw up ITS SO CORNY i make myself sick with what i draw <- will continue to do this#only god knows if this is even how that power of his works i just saw an opportunity and ran with it#the trick here is he doesnt even have to use any 'power' he can just do that to charles by default#however im making them be obnoxious about it. i am making them obnoxious over dramatic grandpas because i can#my only crime is loving the utter cheese and corniness of the 60s comics like God. anyways bye !!!!!!!#maybe one day ill finish that other comic i sketched for this weekend but i fear i wont have time to so next weekend me thinks ....#for now i hope you all enjoy this. goofy as hell nonsense jLAKJVEKLVJ
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so when's the wxs phantom of the opera set
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#ruis hair continues to piss me off forever. and ever#Yes i stole their phantom outfits from the revue gacha game. Whos gonna stop me. I WAS SO MAD THAT PHANTOM NANA IS AN OBSOLETE CARD OK#the discerning revsta + pjsekai fan can see i gave emu nanas outfit and rui michirus. Becaude i am crazy. Edel de/light was crazy.#polysho#proseka#why are there so many fuckfign tags. Why so tagging. -the tumbler#Ok sorry#Watch me go insane. Phantom is such a fucking rui role inknow ok i know i know. thats why i gave it to him. but also. I have emu disease#INSTEAD OF THE BRAINTHEREIS EMUUUUUU!!!!!!#Trying to figure out if i should render these and how sucked. cause the first one was drawn on paper and scanned . i shoildve just left itA#Its ifne idekc. I did another emu phantom drawing but i dont feel like posting it alone so ill have to draw more of this. bye#i dont even like the phantom. and i want to kill andrew llyoyid webber with a hammer. And so should you
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#akemi blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#just in case... im gonna tag this as#mizukemicritical#akemizucritical#though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters#for that reason lemme also tag this as#wank.mp3#feel free to disagree of course but please be civil#and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#shut up haydar#edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun!#it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it#it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future#but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me#but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!!#plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!!#i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!!#but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.
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Can we get more of the murder drone x rain world au?
ok
#ive been working on artfight refs and also so i can have the plot in a comprehensible fashion#as much as i love bulletpoints theyre too scattered to work#yeah the yellow lizard is just from the original sketch i really didnt feel like changing anything#and just used it for the ref#its so fanficy and cringe and whatever but we all know what a very unwise woman once said#jcj has a design but no name nor ref. do you even know how little cool words begin with j#and then theres a c inbetween. what the hell am i supposed to do with that#probably misinterpreted some rain world lore for this but i dont care its headcanon now bite me#art#murder drones#rain world#i should probably give this like a special tag if im gonna keep posting about it#will i? no#god i hate character design so much#doll and tessa also have design sketches but you'll have to find me in the right places for those until im satisfied enough to make a ref#oh my god i forgot the lower back spike things on n im gonna do nothing about it except get mad at myself
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They MUST make plushies of Arlo NOW!!!
#rain does art#art#my art#fanart#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#peachyville spoilers#peachyville horror#arlo#Arlo dndads#digital art#colored#tw animal injury#tw animal death#tw animal cruelty#ask to tag#Not entirely sure how to tag a cocker spaniel beiing kept alive through a bunch of tubes and wires to operate a super computer#surpisingly enough even though i am employed#i think I get first to draw arlo rights#keeping up my theme of drawing peachyville stuff the fucking with the filters to make it as dirty and grungy as possible#tucker trout when i find you#also fuck william campos for ending the episode then maxton waller started singing about a hole in the stars and a mother fearing a child#wonder if thats gonna be relevant
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Just got this sweet print by @theshitpostcalligrapher framed! In a gold frame, of course. As is appropriate.
Now to wrap it up nice and wait for Christmas when my brother (who is obsessed with this joke) will finally behold its glory
#calligraphy#idk how to tag this lol#why do thay call it oven#garfield#sort of#the shitpost calligrapher#theshitpostcalligrapher#he is gonna love this i am so excited#the hand-done gold detailing is stunning as always. looks even better in person
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Someone asks what W.BG is about, I just hand them this
#this started as a tiny joke i was gonna make. and then i worked on it for 3 days.#so many of these are *first discovery*#dont ask how i got em cause i dont fuckin know lmao#woe.begone#w.bg#ty betteridge#mike walters#i am not tagging everyone#infinite craft#i dont think i even need to tag this as spoilers. you either know or you do not
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#i hope that none of these have already been done!#love & dot's one is literally how their fight went lol#if i remember correctly both love & dot are good at magic linguistics (or whatever is this subject called btw what are they learning there)#but thanks to some jpn artist on twt I'm obsessed with wirth love & shuen's dynamic where love & shuen annoy the living shit out of wirth#so when i saw that meme i was like 'it's literally them' and i had to do it#as for the rival one: both lance & dot consider mash their rival so i just went with it 👉🏻👈🏻 shippers feel free to make urself#comfortable under this post even though I'm not gonna tag all the ships simply because I'm not sure what they're called 😭#are they just mixes between names or?? i mainly see shippers using emojis but I'm not sure ;-;#so I'm sorry if this post contains ships you dislike and they're not tagged properly :(#anyway: enjoy!#mashle#mashle: magic and muscles#mash burnedead#dot barrett#lance crown#lemon irvine#finn ames#rayne ames#max land#carpaccio luo yang#ryoh grantz#love cute#wirth madl#shuen getsuku#abel walker
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You guys know that uh. That feeling when you have a knife in your gut
#have you ever had period cramps so bad that you started romanticing them#mispelled draws#misp draws#tw blood#tw stabbing#tw pills#even though its just midol lol. figured id tag it to be safe#man idk how to tag non fandom art posts. hashtag art#comic#art#artists on tumblr#am i doing this right#hahahahha ok gonna stop while im ahead
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i think a lot about hot sauce and jeannemary. two young girls so ready to kill and to die. a comparison made all the worse when you recall that hot sauce lost all her family to the cohort, that she can specifically recall fourth style necromancy (using corpses as bombs). a fourteen and thirteen year old that could easily have been on opposite sides of the same front line.
#the locked tomb#the loss of childhood! senseless violence!#opposite ends of the propaganda machine#eskildit posts tlt#all of nona the ninth#how am i supposed to tag hot sauce#jeannemary chatur#ok to rb#edit: okay im actually gonna use these tags to ramble a lil#in many ways i feel alecto the ninth is gonna be the hardest book to actually pull off#first for the obvious reason that its an ending and endings are always hard#but second because nona the ninth was by far the most political book of the series#books 1 and 2 following harrow and gideon mean we're following characters on the outskirts of the empire#gideon is individually oppressed by the ninth and even harrow is considered a black sheep outsider of the nine houses#but they are still WITHIN the houses gideon has dreams of the cohort harrow has dreams of of revitalizing her house#nona was our actual introduction to the real consequences of the empire that characters like judith like jeannemary like corona herself#have their livelihoods and status entirely built on the imperial violence we see first hand on new rho#anyway i say all of this to say it means coming back to these characters might be kinda tricky!#the cost of the empire is no longer abstract its extremely palpable!#how does one return to our core cast we've know for multiple books now that we understand that#idk. interested to see where we go!
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In your fem!trek, do Jim's boobs still get cameos every other episode? If not, is there an alternative?
hmmmmm.
honestly i have no qualms against going yeah, totally (because, well. 23rd century, after all.) but then again variety is the spice of life and there is just something about underboob and a glimpse of that abdomen that hits SO hard. so i guess f!kirk utilizes this particular... diplomatic strategy constantly loll
also i saw the note you left about f!scotty (saaaame lmao <3333) and let's just say most of the enterprise crew shares the sentiment xDD:
#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek tos#star trek the original series#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#spirk#spirk fanart#scones fanart#bones x scotty#how do you even tag for a ship when the ship name is a mundane object 😭😭 im so fond of them but rippp#scones star trek#spock#jim kirk#fem!trek au#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#montgomery scott#mckirk#im an enterprise polycule truther 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i dunno but i just love when people like each other so much#but i am SO enamored with scotty yknow fem or otherwise. Like. those eyes..... that smile......... he's so nice too like HELLO#star trek meme#fundamentally drawing fem!trek feels exactly the same as normal trek so i think that means im doing something right#dust trek aus#NOW IM THINKING ABT SPOTTY (?? is that the ship name helpp). that dynamic fascinates me too.#i have a feeling lots of enterprise polycule fanart is gonna be in my near future#oh ......#sapphics#look my profile says self indulgent work dump for a reason skdhdkd#mccoy x scotty
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it was popularly requested that i draw piss. so i DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you got your warning!
#madatobi#elhnart#nsft#ask2tag#piss cw#like how else am i gonna tag this in warning#how can you say you love him if he won't even hold it while you pee etc etc
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sharing is caring <3
#KISS THE MAILMAN!!!!#they are waiting their turns!!!#this is so fucking indulgent & niche asdjaskjcnaskclak#eddie gets all the love!!!#im such a giggly lil bitch about this im-#yall dont even know how bad it was when i was actually scribbling this. commit me to an asylum#its soooo Unserious and its soooooo Fun#eddie is the perfect size for them to Hold and Cherish#screaming crying wailing eating floor tiles!!!#ok somebody take me out back and shoot me The Voices Are Winning#scribble salad#what do i even tag this with??? DO i even tag it???#lmao imagine i toss it into the welcome home tag#woe! laughingletterstock be upon ye!!#im spicing up the soup... at least i like to think that i am!!!#i create silly mindless stuff like this so that i can Think later#alrighty im gonna queue this for the morning#there's like. 3 people absolutely frothing at the mouth to see this so!!!#morning queue! i could post it Now but like. lmao#ive posted enough today.... gotta space it out a lil
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BARTYLUS BASEBALL THING
(inspired by this which haunts my thoughts 24/7)
Word Count: 5.2k
Part: 1/?
Summary: every summer begets the baseball tournament of the year. barty drags regulus to the opening game, kickstarting a series of unintended events.
Barty’s whole body hums, the way it always does when he’s around Regulus. Like the old TV his father has that crackles to life in static whirs, or the green boxes in the neighborhood that Barty would sit on until the sun went down. Constant electricity.
“I mean, they’ve been doing this for years now and I have been explicitly forbidden from going,” Regulus returns. Still, he doesn’t seem affected one way or the other. “Mother wouldn’t like it.”
“Oh, mother wouldn’t like it?” Barty snorts, mockingly. “So what? It’ll give us something to do. And it’ll give us an opportunity to see each other since your parents plan on keeping you locked up in the house all summer,” he counters, and Regulus knocks a sharp shoulder into his arm. “It’s good to stick together. Mother doesn’t have to know.”
They’re walking side by side on the pavement. Slow, shuffling feet. Hands in their pockets. It’s the last day of class for the school year. Without school, there’s no way for Barty to see Regulus. Barty went all of last summer without seeing Regulus and it was boring and brutal.
Regulus takes a hand out of his pocket and pushes the hair out of his face. The sun is bright, and it causes him to squint. “Sirius still playing?”
Barty nods. “Yeah. He’s still on the James Potter all-star team. I heard Potter even talked Frank Longbottom out of retirement for one last summer.”
“He’s only two years older than us,” Regulus scoffs.
“Still, he didn’t play last summer.”
Regulus nods slowly.
They walk down the pavement silently, dragging footsteps, trying to delay the inevitable.
“It is good to stick together.” Regulus looks at Barty and traces the bruise on his cheek with his finger lightly. Barty is proud of the way he doesn’t flinch, even if the bruise is still tender and aching. He’s not so proud of the way he leans into the touch, even if it hurts.
This entire time, Barty was worried about leaving Regulus alone for a summer with no one but his parents for company. Now he thinks Regulus was equally worried for him, for the same reasons.
“But, I don’t like baseball,” Regulus muses, pulling his finger away.
“No, but you like me,” Barty grins wickedly. “Besides, we’ll just make fun of the whole thing, and I’ll steal my dad’s liquor and we’ll make it fun.”
Regulus pretends to think about it, but it doesn’t matter. Barty knows him. He knows Regulus is going to give in.
The summer baseball tournament is a local legend among the neighborhood kids, and the kids from surrounding neighborhoods too. The first baseball game began five years ago after they knocked down an old rickety building and reduced it to rubble. It didn’t take long for the land to reclaim the area and grow into tall stalks of grassy growth. That’s when, at age 12, Frank Longbottom got the bright idea to turn it into a makeshift baseball field.
The first year, Frank could barely get enough people together to make two teams, and it was so hot in the daylight that they never finished a full game before the kids scattered back into their air-conditioned homes. By year two, Frank had taken the entire school year to recruit people from surrounding neighborhoods and moved the games to the evening to beat the blazing heat.
This would be the fifth consecutive year that the tournament would run. Some kids still used the lot to play baseball in the winter or the spring, but this? This was official. After five years, the summer games became a thing of wonder for all of the young people in town. Anyone aged 12-17 could be on a team, you had to have nine to a team to enter, and each team wishing to compete in the tournament would have to have an official group name, a poster, and a roster. You had to submit and finalize your team two months before the school year ended.
That’s when the fun began. Students would make fliers and posters advertising their teams. Slips of copy paper folded up into tiny squares and passed down the aisles of desks to avoid the sharp eyes of teachers and administrators. The official list is always posted on the first Saturday of May. One expertly crayola, stickered, and markered sheet listing the teams, players, and field positions was nailed to the hollow oak tree stump in the woods by the creek. All the children knew where it was, and all of the adults would never stumble across it. Once the list was posted, the betting could begin.
Mundungus Fletcher and his group of friends ran the baseball betting ring. They would sit out by the old tree stump every Saturday with their journals taking meticulous notes of everyone placing bets and what they brought in. Nothing was off limits, Mundungus Fletcher accepted everything from stickers to lighters. Packs of bubble gum, nail polish, the two or three cigarettes you could manage to steal from your father, anything. Of course, not everything was of equal value. A lighter was worth two full-size candy bars (and it couldn’t be one of the bad ones like Almond Joy or 3 Musketeers they had to Reece's or Twix) and two small stickers. A nail polish was worth a rubber band ball and a blow pop. Mundungus Fletcher and his team took their jobs seriously, monitoring the conversion rates and doling out prizes. Every Saturday the children of the neighborhood would scramble, bringing in whatever they thought would be best for the pot. A few stray dollar bills, their coins, candy, lip gloss, sunglasses, bouncy balls, yo-yos, marbles, stamps, pokemon cards, queued-up mp3 players, necklaces, baseball caps, and even beloved childhood stuffed animals weren’t safe when it was time for baseball bets.
Mundungus kept all of the bets in one of his mother’s large kitchen mixing bowls, then two of his mother’s large mixing bowls, then in empty shoe boxes as things began to overfill. He said he hid all the betting goods in a secret, secure location, but Barty was pretty sure he was just keeping it all under his bed. Regardless, Mundungus would bring out the spoils every Saturday so that all of the kids in the neighborhood could see their potential spoils, provided they picked the right team. It was a great incentive to get people to partake.
As for the baseball teams, there were eight this year, the most they’d ever had. They would be competing to be number one. The winning team of the summer baseball tournament became town celebrities for the year. They always got first dibs at the carnival that came to town (they could skip the ride lines and take two turns in a row on the Ferris wheel), they got to use the tire swing into the creek whenever they wanted (they never had to wait to use it or take turns), and, because some of the older kids had jobs already, if you were on the winning baseball team you would often get free movie tickets and popcorn, or free ice cream if one of the other kids was working. There was an unspoken rule, a reverence, that the winning team had with the other kids in town, they were Gods among mortals, they would want for nothing, ask for anything, and receive it. The winning team also gets crowned with Coca-Cola canned bottle crowns that Barty thinks look stupid, but everyone else seems way too into them.
This all happens without the supervision of any adults. It was the most sacred vow that everyone tried not to break. No adults allowed. Adults always had the propensity to ruin things. They would think too hard about things, create problems that didn’t exist, and they would shut the baseball tournament down. This year, like last year, the games don’t start until one in the morning, while almost every adult is asleep soundly in their beds, getting ready for work the next morning. Of course, more than a few adults know about this tournament, and most don’t care. Regulus’ mother, like Barty’s father, is allergic to fun, so they’re both banned from going. Some kids have meltdowns over being banned from the games. Two years ago, a game couldn’t be played because two players were grounded and the team had to forfeit.
The stakes and the pressure were always high.
The stakes were high for Barty this year too, even if he wasn’t playing. He looks at Regulus as they come to the end of the street, shuffling feet. Regulus' house looms behind him, and Barty can see Walburga watching from the window on the second floor, peering purse-lipped through the curtains.
Barty’s hands stay in his pockets. “I guess I’ll see you then.”
Regulus nods. His face doesn’t waver but his eyes sparkle with secrecy. “Yeah, later.”
—
Throwing rocks at people’s windows is the worst.
Barty isn’t enthused.
First, he had to collect a bunch of rocks to stuff his pockets with on the way over, second, it was dark and there weren’t any street lights on Regulus’ street so everything looked exactly the same, and third, he was rapidly running out of rocks.
He skims them lightly at first. Tap. Tap. Tap.
They bounce off the glass of Regulus’ window in soft thuds.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Jesus Christ, how long did it take for Regulus to sneak out and come down?
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Barty’s annoyed now. Maybe he wasn’t throwing them hard enough?
He throws the next few with more force.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
He keeps throwing them until he’s out of rocks.
Now what?
He stands on the side of Regulus’ house, trying to squint up into the dark window. He’s not sure if Regulus would turn a light on in the house and risk it, but it looks like nothing is going on in there. Regulus had promised him that he wasn’t a deep sleeper.
Outside the crickets chirp in song and the blades of grass tickle Barty’s ankles as the night breeze causes them to sway.
Fuck it.
Barty picks up a much larger rock that’s at his feet, and forgetting himself for a moment, he throws it with all the strength of the last throw and then some. The glass breaks and shatters with a delicious noise, but Barty can't admire it, because he’s already turning on his heel and running.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Past the first house and then the second and then–
Oh.
Oh.
His feet all but screech to a halt on the pavement as he looks up at Regulus’ house. Regulus’ real house. This time he’s sure of it.
It’s not his fault everything looks the same in the dark.
Barty shrugs, trying to calm his racing heart and catch his breath as he leans down to pick up some smaller rocks from the ground.
As quietly as he can, he stalks over to the side of the house Regulus’ bedroom window is on, and starts the process over.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He uses a much lighter touch.
Thankfully, Regulus comes out after nine stones, no lights ever turned on inside the Black family residence.
“I’m surprised you don’t play,” Barty says as they walk side-by-side to the baseball field.
“Why’s that?” Regulus looks at him like he’s sprouted another head.
Barty shrugs, looking up at the waxing moon. “Your whole family does. Sirius and Andromeda are on a team. And Narcissa’s a pitcher. Bellatrix is on Tom’s team. Also a pitcher. You mean to tell me you haven’t thought about it?”
“Narcissa plays?” Regulus furrows his brows. “I didn’t know that.”
There was a lot about summer baseball that Regulus didn’t know. Barty takes it upon himself to explain on the walk over.
“There are really only three teams to beat in this tournament. Tom’s team, they’re the Death Eaters, that’s their team name. Nobody likes them and everyone is afraid of them because they play dirty. Last year, Bellatrix beamed Remus in the nose so hard that she broke it. Tom ordered it. Then you’ve got the Serpents, they’re my favorites. That’s the one Narcissa plays on. They haven’t won a tournament ever, but this is their year. Trust me. And then there’s,” Barty rolls his eyes for dramatic effect. “The Lions or whatever the fuck.”
“Horrible team name,” Regulus’ mouth twists up into a smile.
“Truly,” Barty nods. “James Potter is the captain, right-hand man is your brother, and they of course have recruited the legendary Frank Longbottom to come back and steal the baseball title from Tom’s Death Eaters. It was a huge upset when Tom’s team won two years ago, so much so that Frank quit the following year, and Tom won again, and now,” Barty shrugs. “I guess he’s back.”
“So the Lions are like the founding team?” Regulus asks, and Barty nods. He’s surprised Regulus doesn’t know this from his brother.
“Yeah, the original team. Doesn’t mean they’re gonna win though, even with Frank. Tom might actually kill somebody before he lets that happen.”
“But the Lions, they’re the favorites?”
Barty fake gags. “Depends on who you ask. Not my favorites.”
“Mine neither,” Regulus says decisively.
Barty wonders if he’s thinking about all of the lion posters and memorabilia that Sirius used to keep in his bedroom. Regulus would always complain about the bright red and gold team colors and the obnoxious designs, but he doesn’t complain about anything anymore now that Sirius’ room is empty.
Barty looked out for him then. When Sirius packed up everything and ran away to James’ house. It was odd, Regulus seemed to be the only one who knew what it was then. Walburga and Orion seemed to be in denial. Sirius would come home, it was an extended sleepover– which they were never allowed to have, Sirius would realize how good he had it and he’d come back. Only Regulus seemed to understand that they’d never live under the same roof again.
Barty was there. He was there while Regulus ranted and raved and paced and shook his fists at the sky. He was there when Regulus crumpled up like a sheet of paper and collapsed in on himself, shoulders shaking in silent cries. He was there when Sirius spent every second trying to convince Regulus to come to James’ house with him, begged Regulus to talk to him, tried to pass him letters in the street that Regulus would let fall to the pavement. And he was there when Regulus picked himself up and pretended as if the entire affair was beneath him.
They were there for each other. Alway had been. Barty would never leave like Sirius did. He wouldn’t dream of it. He’d stick around as long as Regulus would let him, as pathetic as that sounded. He’d like to think that Regulus would stick around too. Regulus with his dark eyes and all-too-serious look of someone always deep in thought. Sharp, gray eyes that narrowed in displeasure at everything. It took a lot of effort to get Regulus to smile, even more effort to make him laugh. Barty had never done something so rewarding. The surge he felt in his chest whenever Regulus would grin or laugh at something Barty had said was addicting. It made him lightheaded and delirious.
“Look what I brought,” Barty grins, pulling out the flask from his back pocket. The silver can glints in the moonlight.
Regulus’ hand reaches to grab at the flask as they walk in time. Barty likes the way their feet sound on the pavement when they’re in step. He hates that he’s been having thoughts like these more and more frequently. He can’t fucking help himself.
Regulus takes a swig and does his best not to shudder as the warm liquor lights a fire down his throat. Barty finds it slightly endearing as he raises his eyebrows at Regulus, waiting for him to cough and sputter. It never comes.
Barty watches as Regulus licks his lips and hands the flask back to Barty, cheeks pink. Barty is overcome with the desire to kiss him, to taste the honeyed bourbon still on his lips and feel the lightning bolts race through his veins, but he contains himself. Another annoying and incessant thought.
In an attempt to recover, he swings hard at Regulus’ shoulder, harder than he should, as he tuts, “Don’t drink it all, save some for the game.”
Regulus turns to him once more, face indignant as he rubs his arm where Barty has just punched. “Fuck you, I barely even drank any.”
“It looked like a big swallow to me.”
Now it was Regulus’ turn to punch Barty, but there was no heat behind it. “Fucking hell, I told you to stop swinging on me like that. I’ll break your nose next time, I swear to God.”
Barty grins. “Is that a promise?”
“Freak,” Regulus shakes his head, but he’s back to being amused.
“You love it.”
They make it to the field early, but there are already people streaming in with bright battery-operated lights for the game, talking excitedly to themselves. A team is warming up the field, practicing their swings and stretching, Barty listens to the clatter of the bleachers that someone had brought to the lot two years ago. He’s not sure how they did it.
He watches Regulus watch the scene in wonder.
“They have concession stands?” He asks, looking at the girl and boy selling things on the pavement in front of the lot. They both sit at a little plastic table with plastic chairs, their sign advertises what they're selling, crackerjack, peanuts, sodas, trail mix, lemonade.
“Uh, I guess,” Barty shrugs. “That’s new. Seems a bit much.”
Still, he buys two bags of boiled peanuts and two cokes for them anyway.
Mundungus Fletcher and his friends are there, calling out to everyone to join in the bets. Tonight is the last night to enter.
Regulus stops by and drops off a few things, about ten dollars, 4 packs of gum, sunglasses with flames up the side that used to belong to Sirius, and 5 spinning tops.
“Regulus Black,” Mundungus fills out his name in the notebook in inky black pen, carefully recording the list of everything he’s brought. “Let me guess, you’re betting it all on the Lions?”
His voice is loud and booming, with the confidence of a sports announcer but the underlying hint of deception like a used car salesman.
“No,” Regulus scowls at him.
“Oh, I just assumed because of your brother that–”
“I want to bet it all on the Serpents. I hear their pitcher is really good.”
Barty smiles as Mundungus nods. “And you Crouch? Any last-minute bets?”
Barty shakes his head. “I’ve already got over $50 in the game. I have to draw the line somewhere.”
Regulus signs on the dotted line confirming his entry and they make their way to the bleachers. Even though it’s dark out, it’s still uncomfortably warm outside. Some kids have brought battery-operated handheld fans with styrofoam propellers to keep them cool. Others have ice packs.
Barty figures that he can just sit behind someone with a fan and benefit from the airflow. The bleachers begin to fill up as the game draws closer. Kids bring signs elaborately decorated with all of their best art supplies. Glitter glue, puff paint, rhinestones, and neon markers. Some have even painted their faces.
Barty and Regulus spot Remus Lupin at the same time. He’s walking towards a group of kids scrambling to set up a radio and microphone at the announcer's table.
“One. Two. One. Two,” Remus says into the microphone and it resounds throughout the lot, as a hush falls in the bleachers.
“He’s not playing?” Regulus leans in to ask Barty, his shoulder brushing against him.
Barty shakes his head. “Not since the Bellatrix incident, no. He’s no good anymore. Flinches when the ball comes towards him, forgets to swing the bat.”
“Remus Lupin?” Regulus’ eyebrows shoot up like he doesn’t believe it. But he doesn’t have to believe it, he can see Remus take his place at the announcer's table.
Remus runs the scoreboard, calls the players up, and explains the plays for the kids who don’t really know what’s going on. Mary MacDonald helps him with the music and the score when she’s not playing, otherwise, Rita Skeeter helps out, much to the annoyance of everyone.
“Oh, what the fuck,” Regulus snorts. “What’s next, they bring out someone to sing the national anthem?”
“Don’t give them any ideas.”
The mood shifts in the stadium as they get ready to begin. Remus clears his throat in the microphone and it emits an ear-splitting feedback. Still, some kids were trickling in, sitting in the grass now that the bleachers were full.
On the other side of the field, sat the other teams that weren’t playing that night, just behind the makeshift dugouts.
“They like to sit and scope out the competition. They keep to themselves,” Barty explains when Regulus asks. “Can’t mingle with the common folk.”
Regulus scoffs, but Barty doesn’t miss the way his eyes search for Sirius across the field. When Regulus finds him, Sirius sits up straighter, already looking back. He goes to raise a hand to wave at him but Regulus turns his head away sharply, making a show of it.
Barty watches as Sirius moves to stand up like he’s going to run over to them and talk to Regulus, but a blonde girl, Marlene McKinnon, grabs his arm and pulls him down as the first players run out onto the field.
Remus introduces the two teams, the Death Eaters versus the Badgers. All around them, kids shake their yellow signs exuberantly, while some sport all black signs with skulls on them.
The Badgers are going to get destroyed. Anyone with half a brain would know it the minute they heard the match-up. While you had to be 12-17 to play, most of the kids on the Badgers’ team were closer to 12, whereas the Death Eaters were all 17. Barty was actually certain that a few of the kids were 18 or 19 and only getting by because they’d been held back a year or two in school.
He starts listening in to what Remus is saying as he passes Regulus his bag of boiled peanuts.
“With starting pitcher Bellatrix Black, and your team captain, Tom Riddle.”
The stands go wild, everyone stomping their feet on the metal bleachers causing a thunderous metal rumble and Regulus’ eyes widen at the commotion.
“Let’s play ball,” Remus called, rather monotone and complacent about the ordeal.
Regulus snorts. “This is beneath him.”
Barty nods in agreement.
Since there were eight teams in the tournament, there would be seven rounds total. Each round was a best-of-three battle to move on, for a maximum of 21 games, 21 nights, of baseball madness. They were guaranteed at least 14. Two full weeks of baseball. The event of the summer.
They watch as Bellatrix takes the pitcher's mound, licking up little clouds of dirt with her feet. He knocks his knee against Regulus’ at his cousin taking in both the crowd’s cheers and boos. Barty pours some of the bourbon into his Coke can and does the same for Regulus.
Bellatrix’s wild hair was long and curly, falling down her back. It was only kept out of her face by a black baseball cap, and she smiles sharply at the stands.
A soft tune plays as a short kid with spiky brown hair walks up to home plate, giving his bat a few test swings in preparation.
“I heard she puts some kind of resin or wax on her baseball cap to make the ball sticky,” Barty whispers like it’s some kind of secret.
“I believe it,” Regulus says, also leaning in. Barty tries to ignore the lightning bolts. The static frequency once again turned up a notch. “She used to cheat in every game we played growing up.”
They share a look as Bellatrix puts her fingers to the brim of her baseball hat and nods, baseball glove at the ready. The atmosphere has gone quiet like everyone is holding their breaths. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
The kid at home plate assumes position and Bellatrix winds up. The ball moves so fast that Barty doesn’t have time to register it, and neither does the kid at home plate, as the ball hits the catcher’s mitt with a hard thud.
“Strike one,” Remus’ voice echoes, and the spell is broken.
The crowd roars to life once more.
Barty and Regulus get lost in the atmosphere, the crack of the bat, the whizz of the ball, the cheers of people telling their friends to steal third. They crunch through their boiled peanuts and slowly work their way through their cokes, which get stronger as time passes, due to Barty constantly topping them up with flask bourbon.
At the top of the third, a Badger player manages a triple on Bellatrix, running in two of her teammates, so Bellatrix beams her at the top of the fourth, and lets her walk. It doesn’t matter though, the score is already 6-2. At the bottom of the sixth, Tom scores the first home run of the night, and more than a few of the silly girls from high school chirp and cheer loudly, making heart eyes in his direction.
“I mean,” Regulus leans in to whisper. “I kinda get it.”
Barty screws up his face in disgust. “Fuck no.”
He makes more than a few sarcastic remarks and snarky comments, all of which make Regulus laugh or smile. Barty is humming with delight, but he desperately tries to curtail it. Regulus is also getting into the game. It’s a gradual interest, but Barty finds that he’s watching Regulus more than the game. He watches as Regulus’ eyes furrow when someone gets an out, watches the slight smile grace his face as Bellatrix throws a particularly nasty screwball, watches Regulus’ vague curiosity at Tom’s simpering smirk. At some point, their knees touch, and they stay that way for the remainder of the night. Regulus, who shies away from any sort of contact, hasn't moved his knee away.
Barty fucking loves baseball.
The game ends at a brutal 11-2 at the top of the ninth inning. Though, to the Badger’s credit, they do not look defeated or deterred. They seem more than pleased with their two runs, all jostling and shaking the girl who made it possible with wide smiles and congratulations.
The bourbon has satiated Barty and left his head perfectly hazy. He offers a lazy smile to Regulus. “Walk you home?”
It’s late, and he’s feeling tired, he’s sure Regulus feels the same.
Regulus nods, finishing off the last of the coke, and subsequently the last of the bourbon.
“Can’t let you sleep through morning violin lessons, or French tutoring, or whatever the fuck your weird-ass family has you do.”
“Piano.” Regulus rolls his eyes as he corrects Barty. His cheeks are tinged slightly pink and his eyes are a little glassy.
Barty bites his lip to keep from smiling. What a lightweight.
They’re almost out of the field, about to slip down the quiet streets, when Regulus is pulled back by a hand on his shoulder.
Barty spins around to see Sirius with a group of his teammates.
“You came?” Is the first thing out of Sirius’ mouth.
“Not for you, for Barty,” Regulus shoots off just as quickly.
Sirius’ teammates stare at the ground nervously. He makes note of them. The blonde girl from before, Marlene, and he’d know James Potter anywhere. He’s never seen James without Sirius. And the redhead, Lily.
“Well, we play in four nights if you want to watch,” James offers a slight smile. “I’m James, by the way.”
Regulus regards him coldly. “I know who you are.”
“I just wanted to, uh, say hi.” Sirius’ voice is stilted, odd. Almost pained. Barty makes it his duty to glare daggers at him.
“Well, don’t do it again,” Regulus says smoothly, and Barty can tell he doesn’t mean it.
So can Sirius, as he smiles.
“You know we could always use an extra player on our team.”
“In your fucking dreams, Sirius.”
“Come on, we want to get uniforms made,” Sirius offers again, as if this fact would entice Regulus.
He doesn’t know Regulus like Barty knows him. Regulus would hate wearing matching baseball uniforms. He would detest it. He’d rather die.
Marlene rolls her eyes. “James just wants to prance about in those tight little pants.”
“Yeah,” James shoots back quickly. “And all the girls want to see me prance about in those tight little pants, and who am I to deny the people what they desperately want?”
Lily scoffs as Regulus turns to leave, dragging Barty with him.
“Wait,” Sirius calls. “Are you coming back tomorrow?”
“Maybe. It’s none of your business,” Regulus snaps as they walk out of earshot.
They’re striding down the pavement, no shuffling feet and no delay of time, as Regulus huffs.
“Wait,” Barty can’t help himself from asking. “We are going back tomorrow, right?”
Apart from the Sirius interlude, he had a good time with Regulus. And he figures if Sirius hadn’t ambushed them, then he and Regulus would be taking their sweet time walking home. Time that Barty craved more than anything.
“Yeah,” Regulus nods shortly. “I shouldn’t have talked to him. I should’ve just ignored him.”
“Well, he did make it kind of difficult to do that,” Barty reasons as Regulus fumes.
“Fuck, and then stupid fucking James Potter trying to be so–”
“Annoying,” Barty says at the time Regulus says charming.
He tries to ignore the funny thing his heart does in his chest as they both fall into stunned silence.
“Well,” Barty breathes out. “Not what I was going to say.”
“No, I just mean– you heard him,” Regulus says quickly, taking on a crude imitation of James’ voice. “I’m James. I wear tight pants and steal people’s brothers from them for fun.”
Barty snorts. “Yeah, what a dick.”
Regulus nods and repeats after him. “A dick.”
But it doesn’t sound like Regulus really means it. No one can be both charming and a dick. It doesn’t work like that.
Barty walks Regulus all the way to his house, doing his best to skirt the home with the broken window.
Regulus smiles at him softly. “It was fun.”
He admits it like a secret, like it reluctantly has to be true.
Barty nods in agreement, fighting off the urge to punch Regulus again. “Same time tomorrow, baseball boy?”
Regulus nods, his hand brushing against Barty’s slightly before he turns to head inside through the propped-open window on the bottom floor.
Barty stands on the street corner, just him and chirping crickets as he waits for Regulus to flick his bedroom lights on and off to show he’s made it. Once he does, Barty heads towards his house, trying to ignore the parts of his hand that Regulus has touched crackling to life.
#wrote this all on my phone womp womp#so if it formats weird i’m so sorry#the voices !#this is on tumblr so it’s so chill and low stakes and silly#but i am gonna continue writing this#casually#yk no proofreading formatting checks#anyway this is the sandlot-esque baseball thing i crave#idk abt baseball tho yall i wont lie#it’s not abt the baseball .. it is .. but it isn’t#nat writes#it doesn’t even have a title that’s how free form it is 🙂↕️#kay gotta go back 2 work now bye#<333#james potter#regulus black#barty crouch junior#bartylus#jegulus#<- obligatory tags idk
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hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.
I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.
In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.
I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.
I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.
If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.
Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.
#and on that note#I also think some people need to sit down and ask themselves#if their old end times anxieties and fears and preparations and word spreading#haven’t filtered straight into a new non religious end of society and end of modern world order anxiety that they’re pushing on other peopl#even if it is the end times#you cannot change that by beating your own anxieties into other people’s heads#people can care MORE when they are GIVEN ROOM TO BREATHE#first rule of sustainable activism is you can’t do it constantly and you can’t push it on people constantly#you have to pace it and you have have have have HAVE to play long games#short term activism burns you out and if it leads to full despair from burnout it can get you killed via depression#it’s not a joke#there’s a reason your elders have books and community lore about healthy activism even in times of crisis#they lived it. they learned from it. learn from them.#spend your time doing things that can make real impacts.#do little things online but unless you’re an actual information hub you shouldn’t be posting constantly about it#people won’t even want to follow you anymore eventually because that’s not why they followed you#and then you have no audience for your important message anyway.#I know this. I learned it myself on other accounts.#please. stop. harassing me.#how is harassing me going to make me MORE willing to change my mind and post? just because you demanded it?#I am an autonomous person#this is my ONE curated space on the website#you have a multitude of tags and other users#don’t waste energy on a person who already told you no. let’s call that activism rule number two#spend your energy where it’s not likely to be wasted#you’re needed for a long haul#act like it 😭#and stop spamming me 😭#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?
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