#how am I supposed to be a part of a community if the majority of that community hates me for who I am?

[ms-demeanor]

You may have posted about this before, but im very curious about you saying "email was a mistake" because it's such a cemented part of online communication. Is it the technology?

Email became infrastructural in a way that it was never intended to be and wasn't designed for.

There is too much momentum toward email being the primary means of business communication that unless there is a massive technology shift we're unlikely to see wide adoption of an alternative and email takes up so much space in the IT space that it's hard to say what the alternative would be.

Much of what used to be email now happens in company chat apps, which I think is an improvement in many ways, but you chat with your coworkers in a way that you're unlikely to chat with a client or send a quote to a prospect.

A huge amount of effort goes into making email better, and making email systems talk to each other, and making email secure because it is so ubiquitous that you can't realistically ask people not to use it.

But it's fucking terrible and we're asking too much of a set of protocols that was supposed to send small, not-very-private, communications between academics.

Why can't you send big files via email? Because that's not what email is for.

Why is it a pain in the ass to send encrypted emails? Because that's not what email is for.

Why aren't your emails portable, and easy to move from one service to another? Because that's not what email is for.

Why are emails so easy to spoof? Because they were never meant to be used the way we use them so there was no reason to safeguard against that fifty years ago

It's like how social security cards were never meant to be used as one of your major super serious government IDs where all of your activity through all of your life is tracked, because if they knew they needed a system for that they probably would have built a better one in the first place.

Nobody who sat down and developed email looked more than half a century into the future and went "so people are going to be using this system to create identities to access banking and medical records and grocery shopping and school records so we'd better make sure that it's robust enough to handle all of that" because instead they were thinking "Neat! I can send a digital message to someone on a different computer network than the one that I am literally in the same building as."

We think of email as, like, a piece of certified mail that is hand delivered in tamperproof packaging to only the intended recipient who signs for it with their thumbprint and a retina scan when it is, instead, basically a postcard.

It would be absurd to try to do the things people do with email with postcards, and it's *nearly* as absurd to try to do them via email.

[starredblood]

NOWHERE GIRL

PART NINETEEN

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: you come back with an anxious ridden feeling that becomes worse as time goes by—all because of the stone faced girl.

wc. 3.1k

warnings: very angsty | authors note: sooo the weather….

(nowhere girl masterlist)

(Three months later…)

Mi-Cha was getting more anxious by the minute.

When she went to visit you in your dorm, you weren’t there. In fact, when she asked your roommate about your whereabouts she too hasn’t seen you all day. So, she’s standing outside your dorm with her hands on her hips to ponder. Where could you be? Who will know? A light bulb flickers in her mind when she thinks of the only person in campus who knows everyone in her major.

She sprints to the floor above and knocks on the door of one of the most luxurious dorms in campus. Yoon appears minutes after, her eyes glued to her phone screen which aggravates Mi-Cha.

“Yoon. Earth to, Yoon.” she says snapping her fingers in front of Yoon’s face. She blinks and smiles wearily at Mi-Cha.

“Oh, hey, long time no see. How was your summer?” Yoon asks, batting her eyelashes.

“No need for small talk just tell me where she is.” Mi-Cha huffs impatiently.

Yoon’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “She?”

“Seriously?” Mi-Cha crosses her arms and sighs. “Who’s the only other person that we are connected to?”

After pausing to think, revelation overcomes Yoon’s pristine face. “Ah! Yes—I think she’s at our communal studio. I haven’t seen her around the dorms—“

“But you are our new resident assistant?”

“Exactly! I’m so busy trying to keep everything and everyone in check how am I supposed to know where everyone is at every waking moment?”

Mi-Cha scoffs, even though deep down she knows Yoon is slightly correct. And with that she walks away and out of the dormitory building. There is only one communal studio space for art students to attend whenever they like. She is surprised you’d be there though—it’s not even the first day of classes yet. And in all honesty, she’s a little offended that that’s the first place you go to.

She hasn’t seen you since you left for your Italy trip and you were barely able to reach out to her during your summer there. But from the small tidbits you shared, it sounded like you had a riveting summer in Milan.

After opening the doors to the large and spacious studio, there were mounds of students present with piles of canvases and sculptures ready to be displayed or worked on. She pushes past the students with the goal of finding you in mind.

It feels like Mi-Cha was back at the art gallery with how crowded this studio is. Finally, she thinks she found you and she let out a huge breath of relief.

You were currently helping lift up a large canvas with the help of four other art students and leaned the piece against the wall. Your hair was all over the place and the baggy jean shorts you were wearing got unknowingly stained when you wipe your hands against them.

Whilst catching your breath you wipe the sweat off your forehead, still not noticing your friend running to your direction.

“I missed you so so so much!” Mi-Cha merrily says after trapping you into one of her bear hugs.

“Hey! I missed you too.” you say, grinning. However, there was less enthusiasm in your voice.

“Why haven’t you stopped by to see me? I’m hurt.” she pouts releasing you from the hug.

She eyes you from head to toe. Something was different about you she just couldn’t put her fingers on it. Although, your skin did glow with more radiance, that wasn’t it. And when she looks into your smiling eyes, there was a hint of nervousness surrounding them that was illegible. Maybe she was just overthinking it too much. It has been awhile since she’s seen you.

“I’m sorry. All of my work just flew in and I had to unpack them all otherwise they would have gone ‘mysteriously’ missing.” you say, using your fingers to sign quotation marks on the word mysteriously. “And I stayed longer to help some people who went with me on the trip.”

“And how was it?” she gapes. “Wait never mind don’t tell me—let’s go grab lunch after so you can tell me all about it.”

Your eyes squint. “I hear that the cafeteria food here is…not the best though.”

“Yeah—that’s why I told you to enjoy as much Italian food before coming back. You’ll have to start getting used to the campus food now.”

When you open your mouth to speak a colleague of yours nudges your sides to help them lift up a sculpture tightly secured in a large box. You signal Mi-Cha to momentarily wait for you to finish and she observes you with eyebrows quirking up. She thinks she’s pretty good at reading minds, you seem anxious. The entire time you spoke your eyebrows were knit and the corners of your lips twitching like the smile you had was by force.

You clap your hands together to wipe away dust and debris, your face crestfallen. “What?”

“Did you see her yet?” she blurts out, wriggling her eyebrows. She was louder than she expected.

That’s when you freeze and Mi-Cha catches on. It had to be that girl you were so fawned over this past spring. She saw it in the way your muscles grew tense. You play it off with a smaller smile.

“No, as soon as I got back I had to get everything in my dorm prepared and talk to my counselor about my new tuition.” you explain quietly. “I’m going to stop by later though.”

Now, Mi-Cha feels guilty. She’s so ignorant for thinking that your only problems were your love life when you have financial stressors to take care of.

“Yeah, I know it’s expensive but don’t worry. Focus on school and worry about debts when you get a stable job after.”

“Being an adult fucking sucks.” you grumble.

“Yeah, I know.” she says, clearing her throat in contemplation. “Are you alright though? With you know…life?”

You start chuckling nervously. “Yeah. I don’t know…Ever since I got to Italy I’ve just been stressed and I still feel weird even after coming back.”

“Did you say stress? What could possibly stress you out in Italy?”

Sae-byeok actually.

There is no words in the human dictionary to describe the amount of stress you’ve endured throughout your trip to Italy. All because of the stone face girl you’ve fallen head over heels for. You never felt such intense emotions about someone other than her, it got to a point where she was always luring in the back of your mind.

On the last week of your studies in Italy, you and a couple of your colleagues ventured out to Genoa to relax on a boat. And embarrassingly enough, your drunken thoughts couldn’t see anything but Sae-byeok. It was killing you and for one reason only.

She hasn’t reached out to you ever since you arrived to Italy.

At first you didn’t try to worry. You didn’t have much reception on your phone but whenever you got the chance you made sure to stay up late reach out to Sae-byeok when you knew it would be day time in South Korea. But nothing. Halfway through the trip, you try dialing Ji-yeong asking if everything is alright but nothing. And when you tried reaching out to them the second you got back to Korea, their calls went straight to voicemail.

They’ve gone off the grid and you couldn’t stop your mind from going in circles trying to figure out what’s going on with them.

But now that you’re back you are going to find out.

After you and Mi-Cha head to the cafeteria and catch up on each other’s lives the past three months, you decline her offer to go to a welcome party held at her dormitory wing. You felt guilty not telling her about what really happened with Sae-byeok, but you were so afraid to get her response because she is such a blunt person. What if she would’ve told you that Sae-byeok ghosted you and to move on from her? You are still in denial.

So, after lunch you walk back to your dormitory.

“Hey, what happened to you?” asks your roommate, Lee Gyeong-ja who was currently laying on her bed playing a mobile game. “Haven’t heard from you all day and one of your friends came to ask about you.”

“Busy unloading some stuff from my trip.” you explain flatly. “And I met up with her earlier.”

You kneel down in front of your bed to pull out two bags underneath it. In the bag contains all the stuff you gathered from the trip and each has the label ‘Ji-yeong’ and ‘Kang siblings’.

“Okay…” she trails off before focusing back on her game.

“Bye.” you say breathlessly and walk out the dorm with the bags on each hand.

To make it to their apartment faster, you took the subway rather than the bus even though you prefer taking the latter. The entire journey was stress inducing—you hope that they have a good explanation as to why they haven’t been contacting you.

When you arrive in front of the apartment complex, you took a deep breath in to soothe your mind. You hope they’re alright. You hope to see their faces soon. And you hope they’re thinking the same about you.

You place one of the bags on the floor to knock on their door. Again, you breathe in and out but your heart keeps thumping loudly in your ears. It just got louder when you hear rustling coming from the other end.

Your racing heart stops abruptly to sink down your chest.

“Hello?” greets a man who looks to be in his thirties. He slowly pokes his head out the door to survey you—appearing very suspicious about your presence here.

“Oh uh,” you stammer and look to the side of the door to make sure you got the right apartment number. This was it. You awkwardly smile at the man. “hi. Sorry—two girls around my age used to live here. Do you—Do you know where they possibly…moved to?”

“Two girls?” he questions. Right after, a woman who you assume to be his wife appears behind him. He mumbles something to her and she shakes her head in response. “We aren’t sure—we just moved here last month. But I think I remember the landlord telling us that the old tenants left sometime in the…beginning of summer?” he looks to his wife for reassurance and she shakes her head yes.

“Seriously? Oh my god…” you mutter, your voice trembling. Before they get any more suspicious of you, you bow quickly. “I’m sorry for taking your time. Thank you.”

And with that you grab the bag you had on the ground and make your way out of your apartment.

So, you weren’t just going crazy for no reason…If they weren’t here then where the hell are they? You don’t want to think of the worst just yet. There has to be a fine explanation for this.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

(One week later…)

The bakery is no longer there. Instead, there was a large ‘FOR SALE’ sign on the entire building which includes your old studio apartment. And the only other sign in front of the abandoned building was ‘RELOCATED TO SONJUN.’

You desperately wish that you could drop everything to go to Sonjun and hope Miss Ahn or her bratty grandson could give you answers. If they have any. But you couldn’t fall behind in school, not when it’s all you have.

As if you were in a trance, you kept swirling your line brush around the red acrylic paint. You didn’t notice you were doing this for the past three minutes—but you couldn’t stop thinking about Sae-byeok. It worries you what might’ve happened to her. When she told you she was able to stay a float, was the lying?

You didn’t break away from your trance until faint familiar giggles enter your ears. Blinking, you see Yoon enter the communal studio with her portfolio tote. She heads to the other end of the studio and you just go back to swirling your brush around. It wasn’t until a shadowy figure engulfs you that you peer back up.

“Yoon?”

“Hey!” she beams and bends down to give you a side hug. You awkwardly reciprocate it back by patting her shoulders and frown seeing her pull up a chair beside you. “How was Italy? Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, it was beautiful.” you reply coolly. “How was your summer?”

That’s when she lets out a biggest groan, disturbing some of the students around you. “Awful! First of all, I had to work at one of my parents cafe chains all the way at the end of town because they were short staffed. So, do you know what I had to do? Remove my acrylic nails! Then soon after, I stopped hearing less and less from Yen-ho and he’s seriously gone off the grid because I had to report him missing to the police! But of course they don’t care because of…you know. The criminal stuff. But anyway—yeah I haven’t heard from him since. It was seriously stressing me out that I couldn’t relax properly on my trip to Jeju all July. I hope that all the school work will keep my mind at bay…Seriously why should I be so worried over a prick like him? I’m sorry for ranting but no one besides you would understand.”

“No, it’s okay.” you say, your eyebrows knitting. “But when did you say he went missing?”

“I reported him in the beginning of July after not hearing from him for like over three weeks. Fucking asshole. I need to get over him quickly.”

“And he never mention where he was going or anything?”

She throws you a suspicious glare. “Are you seriously concerned about him?”

“No it’s just…” you say, sighing in frustration. “Don’t tell anyone but remember my friend who you saw at the art murals? Well, she’s moved out of her apartment sometime in June or July and I haven’t heard from her either. And she used to know him. Do you think…?”

“What? Was she a part of his gang or something?” she gasps. When you nod she starts rubbing your back soothingly. “Oh, honey…”

“I know it’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not. I mean…it’s very likely that they joined forces again though.”

“You think?” you raise a brow.

“Do you know how many times Yen-ho vowed to me that he would never go back to the gang? So many times.”

No, that can’t be it. Sae-byeok isn’t Yen-ho. She has too much to risk with Cheol under her care and too much of a caring heart to do that to him. It just seems unfathomable. But, how unlikely could that be? What if she couldn’t find a way to pay rent and asked Deok-su if she could join back in his gang…No. That can’t be it—she owed him a ton of money. That’s not possible—however, this piece of information about Yen-ho is very interesting.

“I’ll—I’ll figure it out. Thanks, Yoon.” you murmur after careful thinking.

She sends you an enthusiastic smile. “Aw, look at us bonding over our love for criminals!”

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

(One month later…)

You were starting to forget how they looked like. Whenever you think of Sae-byeok, the image of her in your mind is blurry and not all there. It’s funny, you thought you’d never forget a face like hers but you can’t even recall her most distinct features—her eyes. You remember them being sharp and cold, but you don’t have the clear picture of it in your head. Now, you regret leaving your sketchbook of all her drawings behind with her. It’s hard to believe it’s been five months.

Luckily, school has helped in some ways to keep your thoughts at bay. You drown yourself in your paintings and sculptures—learning new techniques thanks to your study abroad program you became more skilled in drawing portraits.

You sigh in defeat starting at the fully worked canvas before you. It was another failure. You didn’t get her eyes right again—this is the fifth portrait you have failed to perfect. If anyone knew how much time you were putting into drawing Sae-byeok they’d think you’ll need to be sent away. But you can’t forget her. You just can’t, but your mind is betraying you.

The alarm goes off in the back pocket of your jeans—altering you that you have things in your life you need to do outside of Sae-byeok. You click to turn it off and drape over the portrait with a long piece of fabric.

Texting Mi-Cha, you let her know you will be a few minutes late for dinner and to save you a spot. When she replies back with a thumbs up you put your phone back in your pocket and head over to the building where the financial support center is located.

Because you no longer have an internship and you don’t know when the next one will come, you did your best to sell your paints and sculptures you made back in Italy as a form of income. But it’s hard. After only selling three of your works, you only had enough money to pay a portion of your tuition—a small portion.

“Hi, I’d like to submit a deposit for my tuition.” you say to the worker sitting across the desk who was busy clicking away on the computer.

“Of course, I just need your ID, please.” she says robotically, still starting at the screen. You sigh and slide down your card to her. She grabs it, merely glances at it and starts typing away. After a minute of clicking and typing, her eyes slightly narrow. “Hm…”

“Hm?” you repeat. She throws you a look, making your cheeks go pink.

“It seems like your tuition is entirely paid off.”

Your jaw slackens by the miracle of this news. There your heart goes again, hammering like it was trying to burst out of your chest. “W—What? Are you sure you got the right person…?”

She purses her lips at you but turns to do more typing. You bite your bottom lip in anticipation when she looks at your ID and back at the screen. “Yes.” she answers flatly.

“Could—Could you tell me who paid it off? Because it wasn’t me.”

“The system says it’s been paid off by closed cash. Usually closed cash doesn’t provide a name in our system. I’m sorry but I can’t provide you the information you need. Perhaps it was your parents or legal guardian?”

You swallow back a scoff at her reply. However, that was the only plausible explanation. Was this your parent’s way of trying to make amends with you? But it doesn’t make sense—why now? Besides, your parents aren’t filthy rich it’s not possible for them to pay off your entire tuition in full. Ever since you left for Italy, your entire life began flipping upside down.

“Yeah…Thanks, ma’am.” you whisper, your eyes cloudy with thoughts that you forgot to bow. She grimaces when your back is turnt.

When you step out of the building, you just stand outside to ponder. The first day of October air strikes your burning cheeks, cooling them.

“What the fuck is going on?” you mutter to yourself.

You glance up at the sky and see the sun almost going to meet the horizon. If it’s not night yet, you could still get some answers. So, you pull out your phone and text Mi-Cha that you can’t make it because of a last minute homework you forgot to do. Then you check your phone map and to find the quickest route to your parent’s house.

In spite of the fact that you should feel terrified to meet your parents again, there is numbness instead. You have Sae-byeok to thank for that. At least this time you won’t storm off from your parents bawling your eyes out. Or, that’s what you like to tell yourself at least.

When your dad is the one to open the door, your chest pangs. The wrinkles on his forehead are more visible and his eyelids appear to sag more. He stares at you blankly for a moment before raising his eyebrows up in surprise when he realizes who is standing before him.

“H—Honey…you’re here?” he stammers breathlessly. He opens the door wider to instinctively to let you in, but you just glare at him and remain in your spot.

“Hi, dad.” you greet icily. It infuriates you the way he is looking at you like some wounded puppy when he let you go so easily—twice. They had two opportunities and now maybe three. “I just need to know, did you or mom pay off my tuition?”

“Your tuition?” he queries and pauses to think to himself. You can see the tints in his cheeks get more hue, he was embarrassed. “We—uh, we didn’t. Someone paid it off?”

“Yeah. I don’t know who. Anyways, thanks.” you say, your voice low and flat.

“Wait!” he says quickly. You stop yourself from turning around and look back at your dad, eyes squinting. “How are you? How’s school?”

“Great. I just came back from a trip to Italy. I got offered an internship to study there for the summer.” you say. It felt good to brag—especially with how floundered he looks.

“That’s…wonderful.” he stutters.

Disappointed. That’s how you feel. You aren’t sure what you expected him to say, but not that. You feel ashamed for still wanting your parents praise. When you exhale, a cloud of cold smoke puffs out into the air.

“Bye, dad.” you whisper and spin around.

“Hold on—“

“Yes, I’m still a lesbian!” you bellow unintentionally. His face falls and he’s staring at you blankly—exactly how he looked at you when you packed your things after getting kicked out. Those cruel eyes haunt you. “Have a good life.” and with that you head back to the subway station.

Half a year later, it hurts just the same.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

(Another month later…)

Sae-byeok’s message is loud and clear. She doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. Your only theory is that they all moved to a different location after Deok-su found them. And maybe the reason why they cut contact with you is because they want a fresh start—and you’re part of a haunted past they don’t want to face anymore.

The walk was peaceful. The November leaves were colorful and full of life. The tones of browns and oranges covering the sidewalk gave you hope for a new start. That’s what you love about fall, although the change of leaves is because they’re withered and dead—you portray it as change. That change is for the better and it’ll make life all the more beautiful by the time spring arrives again to wake up the leaves.

This is your last chance. Your last resort and you’re fucking terrified. You officially haven’t heard from them for six months. This is the only other option you have and if nothing comes from it you have to move on. It terrifies you but you’re at a stage in your life where you can’t let this consume you or you will spiral. Even if they don’t want anything to do with you, you just hope they’re okay and most importantly happy with life.

You stand in front of Cheol’s elementary school and you gulp. This is it. If nothing comes out of it, you vow to never look back at the past again. You take a deep breath before stepping inside and to the main office towards the front desk.

“Hello, may I help you?” greets a man around your age with a chipper smile.

You blink at him and struggle to speak at first. It’ll be hard to explain this without it sounding off. “Hi, um, I know this might sound strange but I’d like to know if a student is still enrolled in this school. You see, his sister has gone completely missing and she’s his only guardian so I’d like to know if—if he’s…I don’t know—I guess if he’s okay? His name is Kang Cheol.”

“A—Alright?” his peppy voice wanes. He’s clearly new to this as he glances over at his more senior co-workers. “Let me get back to you on that. Normally, we don’t disclose information about a student unless you’re a parent or guardian but let me see if I can give you that information.”

“Thanks…” you trail off and chew on the inside of your cheek.

From the corner of your eyes, you watch him whisper to his older workers who shot weird glances at you every so often. You unknowingly tap your fingers aggressively against the counter, full on anxious. The waiting is killing you but you have a sense of hope when you see them checking the computer screen. You seriously hope Cheol is okay.

When he comes back, clearing his throat, he deadpans, “So, it says he’s no longer enrolled in this school.”

Your legs feel like jelly. “Huh? Why—“

“I’m sorry that’s the only thing I can tell you since you aren’t a parent or guardian. Which I assume you aren’t?”

Practically in the middle of feeling lightheaded, you feel yourself shake your head. “No. Thanks.” you think you murmur to him and stumble out of the office and out this building.

Once on the sidewalk, you press you back against whatever building you stumbled across and hold back tears. This stress is killing you from the inside out. What the hell happened to them? You don’t even care if they don’t want to see you anymore, you just want to know if they’re safe.

You keep choking back sobs as you were still in public.

Your blurry eyes fall down to the sidewalk and you focus on the leaves. Change—you’re supposed to change. However, you want one last cry.

“Hey—are you alright?” Mi-Cha’s normal tone dies into a worried one when she opens the door to her dorm and sees the state of you.

Your head is ducked low, you’re tightly clutching the sides of your coat, and your body is trembling. When she raises your chin with her hand she gasps at your red face and your even redder eyes.

“I—I don’t know…I just need to hug you.” you croak out.

Without furthering thought she pulls you inside her dormitory, is silently thankful her roommate isn’t here, and brings you to her bed where she solemnly wraps her arms around your shoulders. Your face sinks into the crook of her neck and finally, you let your tears flow like river streams. You two are in this state for a long time, with Mi-Cha rocking your bodies back and forth and you choking on sobs.

Once you finally calm down, you pick your head up and couldn’t stop hiccuping uncontrollably. “I—I don’t think Sae-byeok wants to s—see me anymore.”

She winces and pulls you back into her arms. “Fuck. Hey, don’t worry I’m here if you need to talk.”

But you didn’t want to. You just want to cry your emotions out until there’s nothing left but a void in your chest.

With every tear you shed, you wish it contains the memories of Sae-byeok that you want to forget about. But you don’t know what’s more painful, forgetting or wanting to forget.

If you know yourself, at some point you might’ve loved her. And now that she’s left you for good—you have to turn this love into grief. But grief is just as much a human complexity as it is love, and you aren’t sure how long it’ll take for you to endure it and move past it. It might take you a lifetime to forget about Sae-byeok.

🏷️: @monroesturnns @knfthxv @jumpedthenfell-13 @peelover25 @karli6 @kissedberries @bitchybananaflower @laurenkenss @saebyeokbliss @everly-summers-solace @we1rdth0ughts @wlvlurvsfimmia

[soulfulazrael]

Stella being Beatrice of Helluva Boss is pure idiocy at this point in the show.

Hello there. I am posting something. That's a new. Reminded myself "Oh yeah this site exists" and decided to post some shait about HB. Why not?

Drawn by wholetthemonst1

There was something I came across some time ago in Helluva Boss community and that is the idea that Viv wants to make Stella into a character reminiscent of Beatrice Horseman from Bojack Horseman. And as someone who loves Bojack and respects Bojack and I can probably say now HB is my Becker (wink, wink, nudge nudge WATCH BOJACK IF YOU HAVEN'T) I have to say my piece about it.

But first let's start with Beatrice Horseman herself (careful, there will be spoilers for the 4th and 5th season of Bojack Horseman if you are still going through it). So... Beatrice Horseman. Who was she? What was her deal? Well she was a horse born in 193- okay, okay I am not doing that whole bit. Sorry. Let's get into it. Beatrice Horseman. She is probably one of the most despicable and yet complex characters in the whole of Bojack Horseman. A show known for complex characters and stories. It's a show that many people would say is unfair to compare to Helluva Boss, but given that apparently Viv wants to compare one of her characters to the ones from that then it's free game, wild west baby so let's get on with it already.

Again. Beatrice. Despicable, abusive, terrible, terrible person that is contributor to the kind of man Bojack is in the show. There is no beating around the bush that she was a horrid person that one could say at first glance is not too disimilar to the Stella we know and boy isn't that just the perfect test for who watched that show and who didn't. Because I did and I can say for certain if they were doing that from the start, it's already a complete failure for two reasons.

First off. The photo from The Circus. If there is something Beatrice wasn't, it was being terrible from the start. She was not, everyone who watched the show will tell you with 100% certainty that she never begun as this terrible person. She went through a lot, doesn't excuse the abuse she put her own child through, but we know for certain she did not start like that and this is a big problem with the photo shown in the Circus.

Because nothing speaks sweet and nice than a complete psycho strangling puppies. Yeah I am not going to sugar coat. This photo single handedly made me about 90% done with Helluva Boss. I could see everything that was going to happen the moment I saw and so far I was not too far off. And this is a major failure on HB's part. Making Stella a psychopath who strangles puppies from early childhood. And I get that it's supposed to be funny, but Bojack itself never sacrificed narrative coherency for some dumb unfunny comedy. Especially did not sacrifice depth of the character that Beatrice was.

And one may say "Well the first times we saw Beatrice she was a despicable one note villain as well" and to that I say... no. First time we see her is where she is clearly dissatisfied with her marriage with Butterstoch who seems to be even more terrible than she is at that point and nothing points towards her being some terrible Satan like figure. We do see pieces of abuse she put Bojack through, but she never enters the realm of being so horrid that it becomes too cartoony. Aside from some obvious things like the argument of hers with Butterstoch (I still have I'M EXITATING live rent free in my head). But those moments never made Beatrice into someone who is just evil for the sake of being so. At least there was always this lingering feeling that she is the way she is not just because this is simply how she is. There were already reasons for it given to us in the very first season.

And you know what. They actually started it okay. In first season we saw Stella being more passively dismissive if not just uncaring about Octavia's crying, but it was not something that got across her being some terrible monster, just someone very tired and someone who probably is not there of their own volition. Makes her still terrible, but you can work up from there, but HB never did. I say what they gave her in Season 1 while cartoony in many ways like her screaming so much and hiring hitman did not kill the potential for her to be complex as much as that photo of hers did in Season 2 which again, I think already sank any potential for her to be complex.

But some other people will say "Well we do not know the context of that photo". What context? You want to add context to a girl strangling and beating puppies? Really? Because let me tell you no matter what you do, it will NEVER work. Adding any sort of context to make this kind of photo feel like it makes sense for any sort of complex character will result in laughable at best results that will make it feel like this show doesn't know what the hell it's doing.

Because you do not make this kind of photo for a character you want to be perceived as complex. It just doesn't work.

And there is a second issue beyond that photo. Her motivations, big part of which we saw in Western Energy. Because as far as we see she only wants to bring torment to Stolas, she keeps saying that, she keeps being shown to be too dumb to think of any other reason or how that can screw her over and that also destroys any semblance of chance that this character could be complex. Because Beatrice while terrible had a very good reason for why she was like this. Having your lobotomized mother at such young age telling you to not love anyone will definitely screw you in the head and even then what we see in the show despite such morbid origins is nowhere near as stupidly 1 dimensional as Stella was for 2 seasons already and in Season 2 of Bojack we already saw her being more complex too. Something this show only destroyed further with Stella. Kind of going in the opposite direction of starting in more complex manner and gradually destroying those illusions of depth Stella could have had.

And honestly I do not know if I have to add anything beyond those two reasons. No matter how you look at it Stella doesn't feel remotely as a character designed to be complex. And just so you all know before you start typing essays comparable in length to this horse shait. No, complex doesn't mean redeemable, doesn't mean a character is good or worthy of redemption. It means they can feel like actual PEOPLE! Not some caricatures. Because so far Stella is just that, a caricature. A hate sink. And NO, it is NOT challenging at all to make a character like that and her being so easy to hate is not sign of good writing, it is LAZY.

And this makes me really feel like Stella was NOT planned to be this complex Beatrice like character and in fact I feel like what is going on now is a response of Viv (one of many) to the criticism (at least she listens to them this time I guess... progress?). Basically I think she saw people dunk on Stella's character for being pretty much equivalent of a wall with some mean things sprayed on it, she now starts to go in completely different direction without any semblance of idea of how to make this work. Purely reactionary action.

And to me that reflects another issue I see when compared to Bojack. Here is the clip from it that I think describes this issue I have. This one being from Free Churro. My favorite Bojack episode.

This I think is what ticks me off about the writing of HB as a whole. They think big gestures in writing like giving this one character a le sad backstory will make them sympathetic and complex and oh so well written. That this one act of non douchebaggery makes that POS already well on the path of being better despite them doing the same garbage all over again. That one moment of complexity that you repeat over and over again is enough to make the show complex. That this small piece of text or scene makes a relationship great or make sense. No. Writing doesn't work like that. Stories don't work like that. You need to be consistent, you cannot just throw one scene and immediately expect that people will eat up that this character or this story is more than it is. You need to put in the effort for more than one minute or one episode. You need to try your damn hardest to make your story complex if you want it to be so. It is not something you get participation trophy for. It is something you need to commit to. Or hire a better writer. That helps as well.

Okay. That got a bit derailed. Sorry for that. It was pretty long rant and yet somehow I feel like it wasn't long enough. Stella Goetia. Who is she? What is her deal? She is a victim of terrible writing that made her into a hate sink when she had so much more potential and now that this ship is well on it's way to Davy Jones's locker only NOW this crew of misfits and not very good writers try to salvage what I will say is already unsalvageable. Stella is not Beatrice, she will never be Beatrice. She could have been. She really could have been, but the direction they went with in Season 2 was equivalent of dropping a bomb on a baby and trying to see if it's alive... The best you will find is ashes. But I guess they will be of some reminder of what could have been.

Honestly I don't know why I wrote so much for it. I don't even want to watch this show anymore. I watch shorts, but... they are short. I write my own version of this universe as well, but it's something I do now because like Bojack once said in this clip

And I feel the same thing. This show had all the right pieces right there, but it can never put them together and it bums me out to see and leaves me only with passion for what it could have been. It really depresses me. Because I want to love this show and I already spent around 5 years watching it and pouring my heart into work about it, but now... Now I feel empty. And it feels bad.

I don't like Helluva Boss and everything is worse now.

[cozy-cinnamon-roll]

A Princess' Guide to Interrogating a Radio Demon (Part II)

(read Part I here!)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Ler!Charlie, Ler!Vaggie, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)

Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, interrogation (in the most playful sense). If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige.

This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.

First: MAJOR thank you for all the sweet notes and feedback on Part 1 of this fic! I was not expecting such an enthusiastic response, and it really made my week! So grateful to be part of this lovely community 💕

As promised, here is part 2... This one gets a little more intense than the last, but it's still all for fun (and Al can handle it 🤭) So excited to share it with you all!

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Vaggie is never quite sure what she's going to find when she hears a commotion elsewhere in the hotel - especially when it's coming from the direction of Alastor's room.

But nothing could have prepared her for the sight of her girlfriend pinning the most powerful overlord in Hell to the floor, tickling him to hysterics.

"Uhhhh..... Sweetie?"

"He won't tell me where he hid it!"

Vaggie just takes it in for a second. "So you're tickling him?"

"How else am I supposed to get it outta him?!"

"That's an... unconventional method, babe."

Charlie pauses her assault to shoot her girlfriend a deadpan look over her victim (who merely remains sprawled out on the floor beneath her, using his reprieve to take in as much precious oxygen as possible).

"You think I'm stupid enough to threaten real harm on The Radio Demon?"

That remark draws a maniacal little chuckle from the crumpled heap.

"Doesn't sound very effective," Vaggie observes.

But Charlie is too busy growling taunts at her victim again, tazing him in the sides. "Sorry, did I say something funny, giggles? Huh?! Did I?"

Vaggie can't help but smile herself at how hard it is for her girlfriend to keep a straight face during her "interrogation." She pokes and prods and scribbles all over the poor man, until his distinctive cackle echoes from the ceiling. And then she sits back on her heels, practically beaming with delight as he continues to shake with residual giggles.

At one point Charlie flashes her girlfriend a goofy grin. "I really think I'm wearing him down."

"Oh yeah. Absolutely, babe." Vaggie leans back against the doorframe with a smirk. "He really looks like he hates this, doesn't he."

As Charlie goes after his ribs again, Vaggie tilts her head. "He's lost his weird radio buzz."

"Oh!" Charlie abruptly clasps her hands to her chest, eyes wide with sudden worry. "Are you okay, Al?"

"Heh - yes, yes, of course..." While he is indeed too drunk on laughter maintain his usual tinny radio filter, the tiniest hint of a wheeze still edges his voice - which surprises Alastor himself more than anyone. His evil cackle is, after all, one of his signature intimidation techniques, and it's never affected his voice before.

But the uncontrolled, helpless hysterics Charlie's had him clutched in is very different from what he's used to. For all his practice intimidating his victims with a well-timed chortle, it appears his genuine laughter is rather rusty.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Still breathless, Alastor can't help but chuckle at that too. "...Y-you are aware of what an 'interrogation' is, right?"

Charlie's look of concern drops to a mild glare.

"Alright, babe. Step aside." Vaggie curls a dangerous little grin of her own. "I'll handle this."

As he sees Vaggie striding toward him, Alastor scrambles to sit up. "Wait, wait- Vaggie, dear, can't we-" He presses backward, only to find himself cornered between the couch and the coffee table. "Er- can't we talk this over?"

Vaggie crouches down. "You wanna tell me where Angel's speaker is?"

"No."

Fingernails are crawling up both sides before he even registers movement. Poor Alastor is clutched over cackling within seconds.

Charlie may be a surprisingly effective ler, but it quickly becomes clear who taught her: Vaggie is ruthless.

"Get his tummy, that's his weak spot!" Charlie chirps, not even bothering to hide her delight any longer.

"Chahaharlie!!"

Alastor actually feels a spark of legitimate panic as Vaggie's nails find their way to his upper belly, tracing along the lower edge of his ribcage, sending his laughter silent for a moment.

"Hey, if you really want me to stop, you can just tell me what I wanna know."

"YOou cahan-" (gasp) "-PRY it from my-" (brief giggle fit) "-cold, dead-" (wheeze) "-fingers!!"

"Yeah? I'll show you cold, dead fingers..."

Alastor feels a hand slip under his shirt.

"AaaaAAAHH! No, no, Vaggie don't!"

"Oooh, this is a good spot, isn't it?"

"NO don't do that- please please please..."

"What? You don't want me to do this?" Her fingernails skitter across his bare tummy. The poor man can't remember the last time he laughed this hard at anything - which, for someone who literally hasn't dropped his smile for decades, is a pretty high bar to clear. And he's gotta admit, it's the best he's felt in weeks.

"Don't kill him," Charlie pipes up, "I still need him to help run the hotel after this."

"I'm not gonna kill him." Vaggie leans in close. "I'm just gonna keep tickling this sensitive, vulnerable, unbearably ticklish little belly, up and down, over and over, on and on..."

The surge of radio static induced by this one sentence is so intense that it leaves Alastor's own voice virtually incomprehensible for several seconds. He tries to summon a shadow creature, a tentacle, anything, but he's so disoriented the shadows dissipate before they can be directed anywhere.

And that's finally what breaks his resistance. Being rendered helpless under Charlie's fingers is one thing, but being unable to use his powers at Vaggie's mercy is considerably more unnerving.

"OKAY, OKAHAY! I'll talk! I'll talk!"

Vaggie lifts her hands off him, though they remain hovering just a few inches over his torso.

It takes a solid minute for Alastor to catch his breath. "For heaven's sake, you could've just asked me..."

Vaggie scrunches her fingers in the air a couple times, causing the radio demon to fold up like a lawn chair.

"Ack! Nonono I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!" He fights back a fit of nervous giggles.

"Ten seconds to spit it out before I go borrow Nifty's feather duster."

Alastor rolls his eyes. "Oh please. You think you can threaten me with cleaning tools? Don't be ridiculous..."

"Five seconds." Vaggie turns to Charlie. "Hey babe, have you tried his ears?"

A little squeak of microphone feedback. "13th floor hall closet, second-to-top shelf, under a dead rat."

Charlie recoils. "Ew! Al!"

"Pardon, two dead rats." As Vaggie withdraws her hands Alastor sits up, brushes himself off, and reaches for his microphone. "Second one came along as I was arranging the first, and... offered to help."

Charlie just stares at him in horror as he stands and twirls his mic with his usual classy flair, the very picture of eccentric elegance - as if he hadn't just spent the last twenty minutes being reduced to a hysterical mess on the floor.

"Is there any point in warning you not to pull something like this again?" Vaggie mutters, more to herself than the demon.

"No. But you can if it makes you feel better." Alastor grins and offers a hand to Charlie as she gets to her feet. "That was a lovely chat, my dears. Next time I need a good laugh I'll be sure to commit another petty theft."

Charlie rolls her eyes as he turns on his heel and strolls off.

"And let me know if you need help finding the batteries for that speaker," he tosses over his shoulder.

"OH you little piece of-"

--------------------------------------------------------------

This was such a fun fic to write! Hope you had fun reading it too.... let me know what you think!

💜 - Cozy

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2 hangs on - you guessed it - a double meaning (and art). *Part 4*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The End?

This is major spoilers for season 3 territory. You have been warned. I'm also going to split this into parts because wow, I have so many ✨Clues✨! Friends, we have arrived at the prestige! Metatron come at me bro, catch these hands. Oh wait you can't, you always have your hands in your pockets...

People smarter than me have talked all about Aziraphale's magician outfits on this show, so I won't steal their thunder. Suffice it to say, The Metatron is wearing a weirdly dark coat and tie over his whole outfit. Which gives him a very only a white floating head look, but also keeps in the theme of ✨I am a magician✨. He's here to perform a trick!

I also won't talk a lot about him in the coffee shop because that's been done already. If we have learned anything from part 3, analyzing the coffee to death is what we are supposed to be doing, because He is distracting everyone with a benign object that we can inspect. So while he's waving this coffee around in the shop going "SEE I KNOW HOW EARTH WORKS" he's also doing something fascinating: Checking to see who recognizes him.

Weirdly, even though Aziraphael saw him in season one, and the angels all work with him, no one does right away. EXCEPT for Saraquiel and Crowley, who just saw his face not in person, but in a video tape of sorts up in heaven at Gabriel's trial by farce. And then something funny happens. Saraquiel is scared shitless and pretends to have 'forgotten' like Michael, but Crowley admits loud and proud that he does. Then Uriel gives THE BIGGEST SIDEYE I have ever seen on screen to Michael, as in "You don't recognize our boss? I am very afraid for what that means."

As far as I can understand, this is the reason the Metatron is here : "Are we in the version of events where I lose?" And the answer The Metatron gets after the question is : We are in the version of events where I have severely fucked with Michael, sort of fucked with the other angels, I have fucked with Aziraphale, and Crowley has seen me already in heaven. Now we're missing a lot of information as to WHY this specific answer is good for The Metatron, and how much Saraquiel knows, but it seems like he interprets this as an "I haven't lost yet, and I can still do my trick".

So now here we are, at the most important part of the episode, in my (and Aziraphale's) opinion. THE double meaning.

This line is insane. On the surface we have meaning 1) The Metatron is scolding over-zealous angels for meddling in this affair, and over reaching with their power, especially threatening to use the book of life on people. He's the good guy! But under the surface we have meaning 2) I HAVE THE BOOK OF LIFE and I have been using it on everybody in this room. If I don't get my way this time around, I will edit you guys again, and you will have done the right thing. And with that admission, Aziraphale severely twigs and becomes very afraid. From then on his voice shakes and he babbles, and he has trouble looking the Metatron in the eye. I'm willing to bet that this is the moment Aziraphale realizes what The Metatron just admitted: I am creating a version of reality as we speak where I change you and Crowley (and everyone else) so that you lose to me. A terrified Aziraphael goes off with The Metatron to have a chin wag. Now here's the trick.

We've already established that Maggie and Nina are here as stage assistants to The Metatron, so they need time to work on Crowley alone. If they talk to A/C together, like they would have without The Metatron's appearing in the scene before, better communication might have happened between them. He made Aziraphale disappear from the scene!

This does NOT look like the face of someone getting good news. We never heard what the details were besides inviting Crowley to the job promotion, so who knows what he threatened him with, but

This looks like the face of someone caught in a trap. So we are now seeing the prestige! We don't need that coffee anymore, that cup is GONE BABY. Aziraphale has been removed from the Nina/Maggie confession like a dove, and placed in The Metatron's dark coat pocket. Now he just needs to make our angel reappear in the scene the assistants have prepared for him and let him fail, thus completing the trick (uhg I hate it. So cruel).

I'm going to turn the final 15 into it's own post because this is already very long. Let's skip it for now, but we know our lovebirds get separated by heaven, and Aziraphale leaves. The Metatron breathes a huge sigh of relief in the elevator as he thinks his trick has worked, and he has won.

So it's finished now, and there's seemingly no way out. Aziraphale now knows what The Metatron meant when he communicated "I am creating a version of reality as we speak where I change you and Crowley and everything else so that you lose to me."

BUT! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SHIT? BECAUSE IT HIT ME LIKE LIQUID JET FUEL. And I think it hits Aziraphale right here, (when he makes the creepy face after being hit with a beam of light i.e. realization)

That means that in the original version of events before all the edits, Crowley & Aziraphale won.

------

If you've gotten this far, thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear what you thought, or even reblog it with your ✨Clues✨! Want to read more about the timey wimey business that we're gonna see in season 3, and why all this changes the final 15? Well I have *part 5* coming in just a bit. Parts 5 and The End are here! Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The End?

[casper-spills]

♡ 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 ♡

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ~ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Happy Valentine's Day! ♡

I hope everyone's doing well! ♡ It's been a while since I've done one of these and I've been really excited to do this one! This time, I'm writing these almost like a story of what's going to happen but I will warn you, I am not the most amazing story teller in the world haha but I hope everybody enjoys the reading they got and remember to only take what resonates ♡

All feedback is appreciated!

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

Discaimer: Tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only and should never take the place of professional therapy or professional legal, medicinal or financial advice.

𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉! ♡

𝟧𝟢% 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒫𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈!

Ends on Feb 19th 2 Questions £10 ~ £5 3 Questions £14 ~ £7 5 Questions £24 ~ £12 10 Questions £40 ~ £20

| BOOK A READING WITH ME | KO-FI |

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 1 ♡

Cards: Five of Swords, The Sun, Knight of Wands, The Hierophant (reversed), The Hanged Man, The Moon, Five of Cups (reversed), Four of Cups, Six of Coins, The World (reversed), The Devil, The Fool (reversed), Ace of Swords (reversed)

Some of you might be a part of the LGBT community and for those of you who aren't, it might be that you are not very traditional and don't play into the roles that society would have placed you in.

It is a warm and sunny day by a lake or some kind of body of water but I get the feeling that maybe this is someplace you are not supposed to be, like a private or closed off area. Maybe this could be a closed off pool area in an old building. You find your way in and I see your date being reluctant to go but they follow you anyway. They're becoming increasingly more anxious about being here but you reassure them that nobody comes here and reveal the suprise, a game! This might be some kind of arcade game or ping pong table that has been left on the property and, soon enough, they give in (since they're a sucker for games.)

Now this is interesting. You actually aren't sure if this person feels the same way about you and this is you shooting your shot. Again, I get the feeling that the majority of you might be LGBTQ+ and you're really taking the leap of faith on this. Good for you!

You both having lots of fun, your date managed to score a point and you cheer together! (So cute). There's a moment of silence and there's intent behind their gaze, and you think to yourself, 'its now or never'. So you pour every ounce of faith into this chance and swiftly kiss them, waiting for their response. To your relief, they return the kiss, and it is passionate and warm and perfect ♡

Messages from them to you: 'You're so beautiful and I don't know how to tell you' 'I hope it is what i think it is' 'I really hope you're sure about this and about me' 'I'm sure that it's you that I want' 'Please make the first move'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 2 ♡

Cards: Eight of Cups, Page of Coins (horizontal), King of Cups, The Devil (horizontal), The Lovers, Three of Coins, The Tower (horizontal), Page of Cups (horizontal), The Hanged Man (horizontal)

This is somewhere quiet, somewhere where people might come to learn like a library accept there isn't many people here. I could be that you're a student and I'm getting major breakfast club vibes. I feel like you and your person are in detention together or perhaps it feels like you're getting punished with the work you have to do. (I know this isn't the most romantic date in the world but stay with me.)

I'm getting the feeling that you are paired with this person for a project. Even though you really want to focus and not fall behind, they seem to be distracting you and weighing on your mind. You like them because how can you not? They're gorgeous! But they're annoying the heck out of you, 'plus, they're super weird', you think to yourself.

You eventually decide that this is getting too much and get up from your seat to start looking in one of the isles for a book. You feel your face turning redder and redder the more they try to get your attention. Once they realise that they aren't getting anywhere, they begin to actually talk to you about the work and ask to see the book you have taken off the shelf. Suddenly, they don't seem as ignorant as you thought, and they're pretty smart when they actually want to be. You wonder if maybe this person just wants to connect so you give in and entertain them a little.

You very quickly regret your decision when they boldly ask you if you're blushing because you like them. Not saying anything, you look away, poorly hiding the fact that you're clearly red in the face. Under your breath you ask them, 'please, stop messing with me' because you're starting to feel like you could cry if this keeps up. There's a moment where they don't say anything and the silence becomes defening. All you can hear right now is the beating of your heart and you can't help but feel like their gaze is becoming too intense for you.

Unexpectedly, the awkwardness is broken by a kiss on the cheek. You're thinking, 'what the heck? Are they trying to give me emotional whiplash?' But before you can say anything they apologise to you. 'I'll stop messing with you and we can get back to doing the project.' They seem sincere and a little different to how they were a second ago. So you shake it off and agree to continue the project, though it's really difficult to focus properly.

Messages from them to you: 'If I don't do anything now, then you'll never consider me' 'I like how intelligent you are' 'I want to get to know you more' 'I need to know what you think of me' 'I want to get closer to you'

♡ ᴘɪʟᴇ 3 ♡

Cards: Four of Swords (reversed), The Star (reversed), Three of Swords (reversed), Seven of Wands (reversed), Nine of Wands (horizontal), Queen of Coins (reversed), Eight of Swords (reversed)

You're at their house, in their bedroom and I have the feeling that maybe you've known this person for a while now. It's not anything too crazy, just laying down, listening to music and watching the star projector spin. This is perfect because you've been having a really tough week and you really need to just relax. Things might have been tough at work or home and you really need someone to vent to.

So they have set up a comfortable space for you, brought snacks and drinks, and offered to listen for as long as you wanted. This isn't really intened to be a date and honestly, it isn't much of one either, but it's intimiate and it feels different from all the other times that you've hung out with them. They're normally more energetic and chaotic when you hang out with them but today they're really trying to be more considerate and more sensitive. You really appreciate that from them. You're not sure that you want to progress this feeling yet, so your boundaries are clear and all you want right now is a friend. But that doesn't mean things won't change.

Messages from them to you: 'I admire you' 'You're so beautiful' 'You've seen so much' 'Everything is going to be okay' 'You can stay here as long as you want'

♥Thank you for your support! Happy Valentine's Day♥

Special thanks to: @kittywatching @livelythoughts @visualbutterflysworld @honeytarotmind @jeff-satur-is-my-baby-girl @miraclekay97 @artscapismsworld @julyourwitch @notakitsune @mercurialstime @soledad-montoya @depressedcap @bibislutmarvel @coconuttreesstuff

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: BLESSINGS ENTERING YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS.

Left: Pile 1; Right: Pile 2

Pile 1

I see that you are struggling to make a decision, within 30 days (for some of you 2 months), the universe will make the best possible decision for you, so relax. This does not mean that you don’t give it a thought and leave it to the universe, this message means to stop struggling and being impatient because I know you want the decision, right now right this second. Paitence is a virtue that is required and rewarded handsomely, so be patient. Your workload will decrease in a good way, like you will stop overworking yourself, and have more time for yourself and leisure activities. Some of you have been carrying emotional responsibilities for too long, you have been carry HEAVY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE, congratulations because it will all come to an end. This process will begin in 30 days and the end can vary, I am hearing 56 days strongly.  Some of you will get a partner who will make this journey easier, whether it is romantic or someone who simply listens to you, they will help ease your life. Some of you will WALK AWAY FROM LACK AND SCARCITY, since this is a general reading, take it as it resonates, it could be Money wise, and emotional void as well. Some of you are moving to a house, and having the security of shelter finally. You have been through HIGHS and LOWS a lot, you have fear of uncertainty and security. You are manifesting root chakra healing and PEACE.  Comment ‘111’ to claim this blessing.  Save this and come check this again in 30 days. 

Pile 2. 

ALMOST ALL MAJOR ARCANAS. Some of you suffer with anxiety, especially with uncertainty. I am hearing Breath Work/Kriya Yoga and being patient will help you a lot. You think life has been slow and unfair, you have developed the mindset that slow means failure. You will learn the importance of divine timing, and this will bring you a sense of peace. You will be moving from ruffled waters to calm ones. This that you would faze you before have now no impact. You have received the blessing of mental and emotional strength. CONGRATULATIONS!! You will lead a balanced life, good morning routine, lots of plants and sunlight. You will be more in tune with the universe. If this are delayed, you know something better is coming and it does because that’s how it was supposed to me. You haven’t felt this good in a while, you have inner peace, and longing no longer comes to you. You are content and protected and you know it. You know no scarcity of any kind, whatever you need is provided, whatever you want, if good for you, comes in due time. You will realise that you are just a part of nature, take intuitive decisions, no longer scratch your head or stay all night worried what to choose, how to do this and that, you’ll know. You’ll get good sleep too. Some of you might be attracting or more in communication with your soulmate whether platonic or romantic.  Comment ‘222’ to claim this blessing.  Save this and come check this again in 30 days.

FOR MORE CONTENT -> ELTAROT

-

EL TAROT

[ambermotta]

Working with Dragons — My POV

When you look up "draconic magick" or "dragon magick" there is not really a lot to read. In fact, a lot of the info you'll find looks like a copy-paste from one another.

So I thought I would bring my own insight into what working with dragons feels like to me. Not exactly an informative post, just a "personal experience" one.

I believe it is important for newcomers to read about variety of experiences because otherwise, they might start feeling their practice is "wrong" if things are different for them.

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If it wasn't clear already...

UPG WARNING!!!

This is my experience only, other practitioners WILL have different takes on working with dragons.

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Regarding Identity

For the majority of my journey with dragons, I have only worked with one dragon. They reached out to me, but took me years to finally feel ready to work with them, and since I was still a bit insecure, I didn't really seek out other dragons.

By the way, I use they/them pronouns because I don't feel a particular gender signature coming from them.

They are strongly tied to energies of the ocean and I have only seen them as very serpent-like.

The other main dragon I have worked with, who showed up a lot later, is a dragon strongly associated with fire and protection, and his energy is mostly masculine from what I can tell.

As of now, this is what I can share about them. One of the things you'll see being talked about dragons is that you should not talk about the ones you work with unless they give you permission to, and for the most part, this has also been my experience.

They can be quite secretive — I had the ocean dragon very often remind me to stay quiet about the work I'm doing, and be very careful about what I share. Not just about them, but about myself.

Some things need not be secret forever, but when they ARE supposed to be done quietly, I will get the nagging, almost intrusive feeling, of keeping my mouth shut whenever I am itching to say something I shouldn't.

They have also shown to be secretive when we work together, as in I'm instructed to do something a certain way but not told why until the work is done.

And I understand why afterwards.

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Demanding?

From all dragons I have worked with, they have always been quite insistent. Be it regarding how something should be done, how to behave, or on what to get.

Please do not misinterpret this as being pushy or forcing boundaries.

What I mean is that some spiritual beings can be very subtle with their messages when they want to tell you something... But for me, dragons aren't subtle. They keep sending signs and messages until I get it.

by Kou Takano

As for being demanding, it depends on your relationship with them.

They were not demanding at first because I was still unsure of what I wanted, but once I decided to commit, they definitely started communicating more and giving instructions on work we should do together.

So there's a greater degree of commitment that we both respect.

As for being "demanding" with offerings, to me they seldom ask for those. If I do it it's because I want to, not because they have asked or shown they needed it. In terms of spiritual beings I have met, they seem to be the least interested in offerings or praise. But again, this is just my experience.

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Personality

It can vary drastically from one dragon to another.

For me, the Ocean Dragon is serene, regal, mysterious, but standing in their presence can also feel scary and can make you feel small. They also have a more turbulent side.

The fire dragon feels much more assertive, fierce, loyal, but at the same time less "massive" in size and less intimidating somehow. They remind me of a knight or paladin archetype to be fair.

by Carolina-eade on Deviantart

So I assume that personality and energy signature, as well as your relationship with them, will change drastically from one dragon to another.

I have not experienced finicky, prideful, or petty behaviour from them. Dragons are often considered in media and mythology to have big egos, but to me, they feel the exact opposite... wise and humble, but their presence is so massive I feel one must be very careful not to mistake their good disposition for weakness.

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Conduct when working with dragons

I find that while they are wondrous and inspiring, their energy can feel intimidating, and maybe because of that I feel like I must be more serious when working with them. I am not necessarily being formal around them, but I do have a great deal of respect for them and other creatures in their presence.

It feels more like respecting the elders than an authority figure though.

As for magical conduct, I have never had to work with them on anything that did harm to others. In fact, they have heavily aided me in works that focused on helping others.

They have also helped me through my fair share of shadow work. So, both right and left hand path.

You may see some folks claiming that dragons have no qualms with helping mages with "dark magic" and that you actually must work on keeping balance, "working on both sides of the coin" if you will.

They have never demanded that of me, though I recognize it could just be in respect for my decision of not wanting to do most baneful work.

I can't say I fully understand their nature and moral compass yet.

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Types of Dragons

So far, they seem to come in all sorts of shapes. The traditional western-type dragon is far from being the only one or the most common one. Some may look much more like snakes or birds than to winged lizards.

I can see some elemental associations, but I don't think they are restricted to working with just one element.

Unfortunately, since I don't know many dragons, I am not sure if they are always tied to an element or how many types there are.

However, the ones I met did seem to "dwell" in certain environments. The ocean dragon I only see in water, and the fire dragon I have seen on top of a rocky hill, looking down a vast, dry, sunny field.

As for dragon guardians of the elements, directions, etc – I haven't met them, haven't worked with them, so I don't know if there is such a thing.

by Kou Takano

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Mythological Dragons

I have not met a lot of people who worked with widely known dragons, such as Tiamat, Fáfnir from norse mythology, or Yamata-no-Orochi from japanese tales.

But I feel working with them would be a singular experience, just as it is with any other dragon (or spiritual being for that matter). It could be easier considering you would have at least an idea of who they are and what they may like, either from "lore", ancient worship, or SPG (Shared Personal Gnosis).

This is still something I'm thinking about exploring in the future.

Fáfnir, found on Harreira.com

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Conclusion

This was just an overview of what working with them feels like to me. I'm definitely not as experienced as some other folks I've talked to, and my practice is constantly constantly evolving.

So far, it's been great! I'd love to hear from other people on draconic magick.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! Or share your experiences as well!

Thank you for reading!

[louisisalarrie]

I am relatively new to this fandom and I am already struggling with some things and I was hoping to get some perspective in the midst of feeling a bit discouraged. Do you ever struggle with admiring these artists who you know are lying to you and basically using manipulation tactics with the fandom? I have empathy for what these guys have gone through and can’t even imagine, especially so young. But especially with Louis, realizing that the Larry fans have stuck with him through so much and even through bbg (the ones who saw it for what it is), to just continue to be fed crap and seemingly pitted against other fans is just exhausting. And beyond a great super expensive concert, Harry seems completely disconnected and checked out. Concert Harry and public Harry are two totally different people (probably neither actually the real Harry) because of narratives and marketing and it just seems like everything is meant to be dissected and figured out and nothing is probably what it seems. And it really sucks to completely believe these are really great guys and believe that the situation is way more complicated than I can ever understand, yet still like I am just being fed bread crumbs that are supposed to be appreciation. I know as fans we are not owed all of them and they are absolutely entitled to a private life, but it just feels a bit like say nice things when we are convenient and spending money to attend shows and buy albums and leave us to deal with all the bullshit that goes with it on our own. Does this make any sense? I feel like it may sound a bit dramatic but it has been a long day :) I am just wondering if I am alone or being way to parasocial in sometimes feeling like this.

Heya!! no you’re not alone in this at all. And welcome to the fandom! <3

A lot of larries left when bbg happened. a lot of folks stopped tapping into any theories of Larry because like… it was harming their view on the boys and draining them of energy more so than just being part of the fandom which is meant to be a happy community supporting our faves. The disgust and clear closeting and stunts we’ve watched these boys go through just… makes my heart ache for them. But I can understand the frustration because it’s like… why can’t they do anything about it? Why are we still being lied to? When will it end? Why can’t I just enjoy my fave’s music without all this extra stuff on top of it?

And that is probably one of the biggest things about ending stunts is that you feel lied to. You’ve been sold a story for no other reason than money. You’ve been presented with this “authentic” image but really…. There’s more to it. It’s frustrating. Authenticity is just such a massive thing for artists these days. I know I keep hammering on about it but fr, it’s one of the best things an artist can do for their image, and for their wellbeing.

Rest assured though, we’re standing by their sides. We’re shouting from the rooftops. We’re reading laws and contracts and digging right in and learning and sharing info and it’s sooooo fucking cool. Obviously, a horrible circumstance, but do you know how many larries I got to know during 1d who now work in music? or are very well read in entertainment law and want to make a change? or are inspired to create safer spaces in fandoms? it’s a really cool thing off a very bad situation. but nonetheless, we have a community here, fighting for them.

Ending these stunts is no easy feat, either. It takes a lot of paperwork and a lot of damage control (depending on the story you’re going for), and a lot of convincing and maintaining relationships and losing money etc., and while artists are better without it… it’s just always gonna be there, one way or the other.

Larry was, and is, such a massive curveball to the industry. While yes a lot of artists have been closeted over the years, Larry was major in a turning point because of the fandom, the rise of social media (those two boys having access to their accounts and being sickly in love), and the rise of a different artist to fan relationship. Everything was recorded, gifs were made, we could directly message/tweet the boys, it was just… such a massively wild time, so the closeting came down really hard because it was unprecedented. SC was in entirely new territory, freaking out because they weren’t really aware how to take on alll these fans + social media. It was a mess. He panicked.

And every famous person has an image, a brand. It’s again, that fight on authenticity that people are yelling for now more than ever. Down goes the days of a whole fandom accepting something for what it is - we see through the bullshit, but it won’t just end. It makes money.

Anyway, it’s shitty but I’ve been here for a million years now and I, personally, can’t give up. I see a lot of yucky things in this industry firsthand, and when this all comes out, everything changes.

[quoth-the-raven-wtf]

I've blocked a lot of endos [I'm clustering tulpas in the same "origin category," btw], and I hope that they'll respectfully do the same in return when I post things like this. I will never be the first to interact with them, and more often than not I delete their comments from my posts and block them in order to keep myself from interacting in a pointless argument altogether.

That being said, I still want to put my thoughts out there.

Heads up, this is a long one. The rest is below the cut. Per usual, summarized points are highlighted in red for faster viewing.

I know for a fact that a majority of endos aren't claiming to have a CDD [complex dissociative disorder], which tends to be the main argument endos like to use in order to explain that they aren't invading OSDDID spaces or harming communities built for those who are disordered. That doesn't make their claims of being "plural" any less harmful to the CDD community. They are still claiming to have symptoms of dissociative disorders, which waters down the severity of the actual disorders themselves.

Being a system means having a fragmented identity [which is what alters are]. A fragmented identity is a disordered identity. A disordered identity is a disordered brain. Having parts is not typical, and endos claiming that it is possible to have alters without a disorder creates this misconception that plurality is completely normal to experience.

[Don't get me wrong, I'm also irritated by the perspective that everyone with OSDDID is constantly suffering and cannot experience any joy, or even enjoy being a system—because that view is just as uneducated as the endo one.]

Here's the thing—watering down the disorder isn't actually one that matters much to those outside of people who interact with the system sections of social media, because I guarantee you that most people don't even know what "endogenic" means. The issue with watering down symptoms of disorders that result in alters are how they harm actual systems. I've seen multiple systems on this app and even a few others on social media who claim to be endogenic, but talk about having other symptoms of CDDs and having childhood trauma that they don't consider severe enough to be "traumagenic." Seeing things like that is honestly heartbreaking. There are so many systems out there who are completely convinced that they simply can't have originated from trauma because "they weren't hurt badly enough."

It's bizarre to me that this is what the internet has come to.

Here's the thing; if there was actual evidence of endos and tulpas being fully, scientifically capable of existing, I wouldn't be so strongly against their claims. Hell, I've done research in my spare time to actually look for the supposed proof that endos say there is on the ability to be plural without a disorder, and I've reached countless dead ends. Masterlists of "endo-affirming resources" are either incredibly vague, non-credible, or take me straight to an error message [as in, the page has since been taken down]. Aside from those resources, the strongest argument I've seen is that "there's no proof that endos don't exist," which doesn't make any sense either. You could say that about anything you want to, despite currently existing evidence that already suggests your claim is nonsensical.

I am genuinely open to information that is credible, but so far, it just doesn't seem to exist. Anyone is welcome to share some with me, and I will truly approach them with an open mind; that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out lack of credibility when I see it.

In no way do I feel malice or hatred for systems who identify as endogenic, but I'm afraid that directly interacting with endos through areas of syscourse will, and has clearly already created bitterness. I refrain because of how hostile syscourse has gotten, and I encourage others who share my point of view to also keep the hostility to a minimum. I think everyone needs to be more open-minded—both endos and antis like myself. Unfortunately, that's only achievable in a perfect world.

[pixieprincessana]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈

I have celebrated pride for many years now privately or with one foot still in the closet because of the world I grew up in. I was raised in a conservative christian family, I went to a christian university, and I married a cishet man. During my time in college I dove into learning more about the Bible and even added Bible and Theology as a second major. Through studying more I began to deconstruct my faith realizing it was never mine to begin with but my family’s. I married the man I dated all through college because we were told it was what we were supposed to do. He was a good, kind, and sensitive man which made it easy to overlook many things that just didn’t feel “right.” There was a moment six months into our marriage where I knew I was queer in some capacity and that I owed it to him to say something because if it made him change his mind about me I should let him go. We agreed to open up our marriage and become poly so I could explore having queer relationships and he too could explore other relationships and experiences because like me he grew up being told everything surrounding even the idea of sex was evil.

During that time I experienced casual relationships, long term relationships, hook ups, ghosting, heart break among other things until I met Theo, truly who I believe to be the love of my life. We met over TikTok like any classic lesbians do and we quicly went on our first date and from the moment they opened that door I knew (we both would later talk of how we breathed a sign of relief when that door opened because we had unknowingly been waiting for one another all along). Pretty quickly on my husband had spent enough time with the two of us that he could tell something was up and so could I. I had known for quite sometime that I was a lesbian but I couldn’t say it out loud or say it even to myself. Meeting Theo made it MUCH more apparent and I knew I had to tell my ex because I owed it to him to let him go despite how difficult I knew it would prove to be. He was deserving of someone’s love fully and I couldn’t offer that to him. When I finally told him it was difficult to part ways as there was much history between the two of us. We cried a ton, we argued, we cried some more, and we decided it was best to part ways and remain friends. He is still to this day one of my best friends and my biggest ally (we just got lunch last week). Flash forward and Theo and I have been living together for over a year now and this pride I no longer have to only claim parts of who I am I can be loud and proud and full of love for my community! Happy Pride Month from this raging dyke who is living more authentically than ever thought possible 💕

I love you @theoxdarthy

[dn-838]

In defence of Undertale Yellow, how it can work with Undertale’s canon

So, I have seen a lot of debating recently on Undertale Yellow and whether or not it fits what we know already about the lore in Undertale. Of course Flowey’s presence in the mod is the primary thing that has sparked this debate, with many believing that he can’t have existed at the same time as the Justice Soul and that it is a major hole that breaks the continuity of Undertale. I however, as someone who has spent way too much time with Undertale and has vast knowledge about even the most obscure of details in the game, disagree. I believe that Undertale Yellow fits the original games canon well… maybe a bit too well, and I am here to give my own arguments against the things that I commonly see people say doesn’t fit the original game’s continuity. This may contain a few spoilers for Undertale Yellow, so unless you’ve already seen all 3 routes or for whatever reason don’t care about having the game spoiled, don’t read further until you are done.

Argument 1: all the Souls were already collected by the creation of Flowey and the amalgamates

Okay so this one I don’t really have much to say about. Yes Flowey and the Amalgamates were created using the SOULs of some of the collected humans, however it’s never specified that it was from 6 humans, all that’s made clear is that Asgore did have human SOULs (in plural) that were used in the experiment.

Argument 2: the timeline doesn’t match up

The timeline has always been a confusing topic among the Undertale community. While the most likely estimate of the gap between Chara and Frisk falling is 100 years due to what Sans tells us during his date.

There are a few reasons for us to believe that the gap is much smaller, especially considering the weird nature of the Deltarune timeline and the supposed grudge Chara seems to have against Snowdrake in Genocide (who is stated to only be a teenager).

However, no matter how you view the timeline, unless you have specific dates in mind for things like when Gaster was the Royal Scientist and when the fall of Integrity-Justice happened, or think the gap was REALLY short, Undertale Yellow doesn’t really contradict it too much. The game itself is meant to take place just a year before Undertale, with all the same characters existing in similar positions to how they do by the time of Undertale, however we never encounter them due to being on a completely different path that takes us to very different parts of the underground, being why they don’t behave like they encountered a human before in Undertale.

Integrity is a bit more interesting, because it can vary massively depending on how you view the lifespans of the Ketsukane’s, Starlo (Starlo won’t be important to this, but I mention him since he was childhood friends with Ceroba) and Dalv. It is strongly implied that as a kid, Dalv was best friends with Kanako, and was attacked by the Integrity human some point before the games events. At first you’d assume that this was all not meant to be long before the events of the game, however, Integrity was killed by Axis in UTY, a robot that was being worked on by Chujin back when the Steamworks were still in operation, which we can assume was long before the events of the game due to the state of the Steamworks itself and the fact it is stated to have been used as the source of all power in the underground, which would mean it would likely have shut down around the period that the CORE was first put into operation, so all the way back when Gaster was still the Royal Scientist, whenever you think that was (Axis wasn’t sent to kill the human until after Chujin was fired from his position, however due to the way Axis is locked up and deactivated before we wake up the Steamworks, we can assume he was shut down with the rest of the facility). On top of all this Dalv is shown to be a lot older than he presumably would have been when he was attacked by Integrity, and with him being a Vampire, you could say that he aged that much at a slower rate than a human would, with the Ketsukane’s also aging slow, 2 of them being Boss Monsters and one of them being a 9 tailed fox. We know that some monsters do likely age at very different rates due to monsters like Gerson who lived through the war.

So to give the whole timeline, basically, Chujin worked in the Steamworks and made Axis back before or during Gaster’s time as the royal scientist. After several failed prototypes that eventually got Chujin fired, Axis was sent to chase down and kill Integrity. He managed and Chujin kept the Soul hidden and over the span of years recorded a few tapes for what he had planning, meanwhile Dalv, who was previously attacked by Integrity, went into hiding, locking himself into a mostly dark and unknown part of the ruins. At some point when Alphy’s became the Royal Scientist, Chujin started to mentor Martlet, which led Martlet to enter the True Lab and get some strange serum. Eventually Chujin died around a year or two before UTY, revealing his hidden tapes to Ceroba, which Kanako overheard. This led to Ceroba attempting to inject Kanako with the Integrity soul, leading to Kanako falling and being donated to Alphy’s, and her of course then becoming an amalgamate.

Argument 3: Asgore killed all 6 of the other humans

Okay so this one is interesting, because Undyne does imply that humans before Frisk did make it to Asgore, with her saying that “no human has ever made it PAST Asgore” rather than “no human has ever made it TO Asgore”

The thing is, that other humans reached Asgore is all this really does imply, it doesn’t necessarily mean all humans made it to Asgore. You could argue that most of them died to Asgore, with Integrity and Justice being the only exceptions. If you really want to stretch you could even say that this line was actually just another attempt from Undyne to make Asgore sound like a powerful and threatening force (since she tries to make him out like that quite a bit in her fight, such as by saying that killing us is an act of mercy right after this), although I find this unlikely.

There is another line of dialogue that I sometimes see used to try and prove that Asgore killed all 6, and while it’s not used close to as much, I’ll still just quickly clear it up.

This doesn’t really mean that much, all it’s saying is that all the humans that leave the ruins inevitably die. She likely wouldn’t know any details on their deaths do to her isolation, and even if she had some knowledge she would probably still place the blame on Asgore due to his part in waging war and coming up with the plan to kill 7 humans in the first place.

Argument 4: The introduction of new incredibly powerful characters makes no sense

Okay, so this is a weird one, however the explanation for it is fairly simple. Nobody in UTY compares to the original Undertale cast when it comes to how “powerful” they are. We struggle so much against the opponents we face as Clover because well… Clover is much weaker than Frisk, bosses like Ceroba and Axis pale in comparison to Undyne and Mettaton, they just seem much harder since we are playing as a human with much less determination than Frisk. In Pacifist Clover fights a depressed fox lady, meanwhile Frisk fights a literal god; in Neutral Clover goes through a struggle fighting through Flowey’s mind after having his Soul absorbed, meanwhile Frisk holds on against Flowey with 6 Souls until those Souls rebel; and in Genocide Clover takes some time to finally destroy Axis, the failed prototype that got Chujin fired, meanwhile Frisk atomised Mettaton NEO, The greatest invention of the Scientist who was selected to replace Gaster, in a single blow.

The only Undertale Yellow character that I’d say surpasses any character in Undertale would of course be Zenith Martlet, but even then LV 19 Frisk would mop the floor with her, while LV 19 Clover had to go through a lot of effort to beat her, only ever managing to surpass Flowey in Determination after doing so. At LV 20 both Clover and Frisk have massive boosts from LV 19, however Frisk is far stronger, having awakened Chara and caused the destruction of everything, while Clover just destroys Asgore with a super laser blast directly from their Soul and leaves.

Argument 5: miscellaneous

Just to clear up any further confusion, I’ll give quick explanations for some more minor points that I have encountered

Nobody in the original Undertale apart from Flowey, Toriel and Asgore meets Clover, so the other monsters in Undertale acting like they had never met one makes sense.

Flowey not just stealing Clovers Soul is explained well by the game itself. He plans to, however he doesn’t get the chance in Pacifist; sees that we couldn’t surpass Asgore in Flawed Pacifist; steals our soul but is unsatisfied with the outcome and resets in Neutral, and gets gunned down in Genocide.

Toriel believing that it’s been a long time since a previous human fell when she sees Frisk in Undertale doesn’t mean much, she mostly lives isolated in the Ruins, with the other monsters being too afraid to speak with her, considering this and just generally how much seemed to have happened within that year, time could have felt much slower. Alternatively you could argue that the 6 humans all fell within months of each other, and that a years gap is a long time in comparison to the rate the first 6 fell (or 5, since she says the exact same thing to Clover).

Both Flowey and Clover using file 1 at the end of Genocide doesn’t fit what we know about save files no, however I feel it is a little nit-picky to use it as a definitive reason to discredit how well UTY fits into canon, after all the only thing you’d need to do is change the numbers and this would be fixed.

The Gunsmith having been born a week before the Human Vs Monster war doesn’t go against anything we already know. As stated before, we know that at least some monsters like Gerson do live for a very long time.

Flowey having more determination than Clover also doesn’t break anything. Flowey was injected with DT from 5 human Souls. The thing is that Frisk was special when it came to the amount of determination they had.

Unlike with most of the other cast, nobody in Undertale actually indicates that Flowey never met a human prior to Frisk.

Chujin being a boss Monster doesn’t contradict what we know about Boss Monsters. We know that the Dreemurrs are boss monsters, but nothing tells us that they are the only boss monsters.

Argument 6: the nature of the SAVE files contradicts Undertale Yellow

Here we go, the penultimate argument I shall argue against. Never did I expect for this obscure piece of Undertale lore to be the bane of my existence but here we are. For a short time I thought that this could not be countered, only after I had walked away from a discussion completely defeated did the pieces finally start to come together, and now finally… I have an explanation.

First things first, let’s look at the 10 save files. The files go from file 0 to file 9. We know that File 0 likely belongs to Chara due to it being the one that we save with in Undertale, and that file 9 belongs to Frisk since it works as the games Autosave/Checkpoint system. File 8 would then of course belong to Flowey, not just because it’s the one just before Frisks but because File 8 appears in your files after you beat Omega Flowey to mark your completion of a Neutral run, likely implying that his previous SAVE was of course when he was Omega Flowey. Flowey also uses files 2, 3 and 6 throughout the Omega Flowey battle, and since Toriel implies that other humans who fell were also able to save and reset, we can assume that 2-6 likely belonged to previously fallen humans.

Now the only files that need an explanation are file 1 and file 7, and I’ve seen 2 interesting theories for this. The first is that file 1 belongs to Asriel after he took Chara’s Soul, and the other is that file 7 belongs to Lemon Bread since they know what a SAVE point looks like and tries to trick us with it; but the thing is, which one of these are true? Surely it can’t be both since we know one needs to belong to the 6th… okay I’ll cut that out you already know I’m going to say they are both true.

So for Asriel having file 1, he absorbed Chara’s Soul so should have all of their determination and therefore should also have overtaken their ability to SAVE. Of course it’s unlikely that Asriel would have made anything out of it since the idea of saving and loading was fairly alien to Flowey, however that doesn’t necessarily rule out the possibility that Asriel didn’t SAVE or at least have a file created.

Lemon Bread is a bit more complicated, and we are gonna need to look into the order of events within the True Lab to try and work this out. Firstly, we need to look at some of the true lab entries.

ASGORE asked everyone outside the city for monsters that had "fallen down."

Their bodies came in today.

They're still comatose... And soon, they'll all turn into dust.

But what happens if I inject "determination" into them?

If their SOULS persist after they perish, then...

Freedom might be closer than we all thought.

This is entry 6, when the fallen down monsters are given to Alphy’s and have Determination injected into them.

I've chosen a candidate.

I haven't told ASGORE yet, because I want to surprise him with it...

In the center of his garden, there's something special.

The first golden flower, that grew before all the others.

The flower from the outside world.

It appeared just before the queen left.

I wonder...

What happens when something without a SOUL gains the will to live?

This is entry 8, Alphy’s gets a hold of a golden flower that she injects Determination into.

“One of the bodies opened its eyes.

This is entry 13, when the fallen monsters started to regain consciousness, 7 entries after they were first delivered.

Seems like this research was a dead end...

But at least we got a happy ending out of it...?

I sent the SOULS back to ASGORE, returned the vessel to his garden....

And I called all of the families and told them everyone's alive.

I'll send everyone back tomorrow. :)

This is entry 15, by this point all the monsters that had fallen down were awake, and the still not conscious Golden Flower was still just a Flower, being returned alongside the human Souls.

no No NO NO NO NO NO

This is entry 16, the fallen down monsters started to melt together and create the amalgamates.

the flower's gone.

Finally, we have entry 18, when Alphy’s noticed that the Flower seems to have disappeared from the garden, 10 entries after she first selected it.

So, why are these entries so important? Well we know that to have ever held the ability to SAVE, Lemon Bread would have to had held the right amount of Determination before Flowey first became conscious in the garden, and did they? Yes, yes they did. Flowey could have awakened anywhere in the timeframe between entry 15 when he was returned to entry 18 when Alphy’s noticed him gone, however all the fallen down monsters that were injected with Determination were already awake by this point, and therefore prior to Flowey waking up, they would have been the most determined beings in the underground, perhaps with enough determination that whichever monster happened to have the most was able to SAVE. The time that they would have had with the ability would also have at least been for longer than Asriel had it since Flowey can’t have awoken until after a couple entries later at the bare minimum. Of course since this follows the idea that Lemon Bread had the SAVE ability since they knew what a SAVE point looks like, we can assume that the monster in question would have been Shyren’s sister, since I doubt that the Moldbygg and Aaron that also make up Lemon Bread would hold such a role.

Argument 7: Flowey’s backstory

I really thought I was done with this infuriating Flower, but it appears not. For there is a single hole I need to clear up… Flowey’s Genocide speech. Of course this should be fairly simple to clear up-

Ah… well okay this makes things interesting. If Flowey didn’t know where the Souls were stored then that would make it very hard to believe that Flowey ever encountered a human before Frisk since if that were the case then Flowey would definitely have an opportunity to sneak by and see where they are hiding, however this is not what the dialogue actually means. Flowey knew where the Souls were, he sneaks in to steal them in Neutral while we are talking to a defeated Asgore, his only issue was that he wasn’t able to get them out without Asgore. In repeated Neutral runs he still just waits until we are distracted with Asgore to take the Souls, and in Pacifist he takes them while the main cast are all distracted which again is when the canisters are open and available.

On a last note, here’s some dialogue that actually helps the idea that Flowey encountered another human.

It’s made clear all throughout the underground that humans have far greater Determination than monsters, and while you could argue that Flowey was just overconfident in his abilities, it’s still fairly strange that Flowey would still find a human having the DT to overwrite his abilities something special, unless of course he’d encountered a human previously who wasn’t able to do as much.

Conclusion

So, that’s about all I have to say, honestly I’m just glad to be done with it. This was a lot of work, and I’m excited to see this post which I’ve been working on for 3 days get completely dismantled almost immediately. Anyways, wish everyone reading a good day and goodbye!

[jewish-vents]

(Post this anonymously, please!!)

I am an artist with an 8k+ follower blog which I have been active on for over 12 years. I've always felt safe here and have considered it my internet home. After October, watching the amount of people in my fandoms and artists who I had admired and found community with who immediately went full-in on a very black and white, aggressively conspiratorial and antisemitic brand of pro-Palestine activism, my idea of community here and my place in it was totally shaken. It was like I had put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the latent radicalization that had been going on around me, and the pervasive antisemitism that exists, unacknowledged, in nominally pro-social justice leftist spaces.

The loneliest part is that it feels like, with few exceptions, only other Jews can see it. Even the gentile friends who i love most and who would unquestionably stand up for me are just not attuned to the dogwhistles enough to see 95% of it. It's like living in a bubble reality, unable to take these glasses off, while everyone else goes on as if everything is the same.

Yesterday, I logged in, and saw image attached from a gentile artist i'd followed for months, who had never before given me a reason to feel unsafe. Their tags read "don't come in my inbox to debate this, i have no interest and will not change my mind." I wanted to cry from frustration- this person likely has no understanding of how revoltingly antisemitic this post was because they have no understanding of the complexity of what "zionism" actually means, and, as they've made clear, they have no interest in learning or being told they're mistaken. There are so few of us (Jews) here- how the hell are we ever supposed to combat this? The worst part was that it had 98 likes, and zero replies suggesting that any of them saw a problem with this or disagreed.

I myself never really understood zionism before this- I am ashamed to say that I took a lot of the twisted definitions held by gentiles in my progressive social media spaces without question, and thought that because I believed in Palestinian self-determination, I must be an anti-zionist by definition. It took the "glasses" coming on in the time since October for me to fully learn and to understand that while the nuances of the term go deep, to the majority of my people, basic "zionism" means belief in Jewish-self determination in Eretz Yisrael, and that when many gentiles say "Zionist," they just mean "bad Jew."

In all of this mess there's one thing i'm grateful for, and it's that, even as i've lost community in unfollowing/blocking previous mutuals and acquaintances who've shown their incuriosity and prejudice, this shakeup has driven me to find community with other Jews on this site and a greater curiosity about and sense of belonging in my culture in the real world. I can't be mad that my eyes are open, because i've only lost community that wouldn't accept me as I am, and am gaining community that does, that shares my struggles and that sees the world in ways compatible with my values. When I look at my activity tab and see notifications from my mutuals now, I feel safe knowing that I have been honest, shared the truth of me, and that they have chosen to stick around, whoever they are. I love you all.

[cultofdixon]

The differences in power

Negan Smith • She/Her Pronouns • The little lady is the one with all the power and when the group found out, maybe that will be their window • ANGST/SFW • TW: Major character death(s) / Canon Violence / Anxiety / Injuries • Re-Writing Canon

Requested by: Anon

“Listen here Dwight. You don’t do what I fucking say and I promise yea I will bash her fucking skull in with my—-“ Negan stopped his threat and dropped Dwight back onto his feet as he anxious stated to step back. “Y/N. What are you doing here?”

“Oh me?” Y/N smiles making herself known in the hall they were in, as she gave Dwight a glare resulting in him running off.

“See now how am I supposed to beat him into submission if you are always around”

“Do you not want me around? I could go…” Y/N pouts turning around to walk off but Negan quickly took her hand spinning her back resulting in that devilish smirk of hers. “What, baby?”

“You…God, you” Negan folds and couldn’t be mad at his woman for interrupting the heated conversation earlier as he brought his lips against hers.

When news about the outpost came through the Sanctuary, Laura quickly went to the big man’s room knowing she would find Y/N there as she gave her a confused look until her shoulders slumped giving her an idea of what she wanted.

“Do you have any fucking idea how many good soldiers I lost because we didn’t put down that son of a bitch from the Hilltop?! AND YOURE TELLING ME THE RAT BASTARD GREGORY SURVIVED HIS PUNISHMENT” Negan snaps in Simon’s face as he kept his cool on the matter even if what happened wasn’t his fault. The big man had to yell at somebody. “Get that one bitch in here that informed—-“

“She’s dead sir. We don’t have intel on who exactly she came in contact with. But from what we do know…with what Gregory told, it’s exactly who you’re thinking of”

“Simon. I swear to FUCKING GOD. If you don’t get me definite results on these fuckers. I will hang you on the fence out—“ Negan pulled away from being in Simon’s face when he spotted Y/N peak her head through the door with a soft knock.

“Sorry if you’re busy with your boyfriend I can—-“

“You better get that sweet ass of yours over here, darling.” Negan smirks pushing Simon aside as Y/N brought herself up to her man wrapping her arms around his neck.

As Simon slipped away from the two to meet Laura in the hallway, he gave her a thankful expression.

“Load up the car. Gotta check in with a few hidden eyes”

“Think Negan will find out?”

“Hell no, his woman will keep him busy. Besides, we’ll look good with the information we’ll receive” Simon smirks heading off as Laura rolled her eyes before following the man.

A couple days passed and Y/N found herself waiting in the loading docks of the Sanctuary after being told by one of Negan’s men he expects her there. She thought that was a little confusing but when she saw cars pulling up, her spirits lifted like usual knowing Negan has come home.

But it was hectic.

“Get the prisoner in the goddamn cell. Simon, you gotta keep your eyes on Hilltop. I ain’t fucking letting that community get the better of me with this new one in our roaster. And I swear to fucking god if Alexandria pulls something in two weeks I’m killing—-“ Negan stops himself when he stopped abruptly in front of Y/N. “Hey baby” he instantly shifts his mood, leaning down to kiss her cheek as the confusion writes itself on her face.

The sound of the men struggling to contain the prisoner caught Y/N’s attention as she let Negan continue to kiss her cheek down to her shoulder while her eyes glued on the scene.

Then there was this anxious realization when Y/N locked eyes with the man they were dragging in. Hell, he even tried to stop to get a good look at her.

“What is it, baby?”

“Nothing, baby. Just thinking”

“Now that can be dangerous” Negan laughs lightly, bringing his lips to hers as she hums against his lips keeping her arms around him when they parted.

Once night consumes the day, Y/N made her way down the hall in her pajamas as she surprisingly slipped out of her and Negan’s room without him stirring. She knew where everything was in the Sanctuary she’s been there long enough.

Dwight caught a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye when he was watching the prisoner from the other side of the closed door.

“What are you doing awake?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Is that the prisoner in there?”

“Yup. To make it more difficult for Alexandria to want to attack us” Dwight rolls his eyes bringing his attention back to the book in hand. “Don’t report me to big man but I really don’t know how you could even love him for what he does”

“I…I don’t exactly know what he does” Y/N frowns crossing her arms leaning against the wall Dwight was propped up against. His full attention on her. “I guess it’s blind ignorance. But I also didn’t fall in love with him for what he does as a leader”

Dwight couldn’t get mad at that, but for some small reason…he’s worried for her. Worried of her finding out.

Even with the small incidents she has seen.

“Dwight. Is your prisoner’s name Daryl?”

“What? You hear that in passing or something?”

The silence she gave only brought more confusion to Dwight with a bit of curiosity. Y/N shrugs it off and leaves the man to continue his watch of a closed, locked door.

________

“She hasn’t turned up”

“We can’t wait here forever, son. Unless we want the walkers to find us” Hershel informed Daryl as he kept his attention glued to the darkness of the forest waiting for someone to turn up.

“Daryl. We gotta go. Find somewhere for the night” Rick grabbed his shoulder only for him to dramatically yank his body away from him. “She’s gone for all we know. There’s nothin’ we can do”

Daryl held on for a little while longer until Carol pulled him away from the banks of the freeway.

Meanwhile an injured Y/N had collapsed in the woods after hours of walking endlessly in the wrong direction. She thought it was the end for her as she laid in the dirt letting the weakness take over.

Then she was suddenly lifted from the ground who knows how much later since the collapse. She felt safe enough to lean into the unknown man.

“I’ve gotcha darling”

________

Y/N found herself appearing in that hallway every other hour of the next couple days and it draws some suspicion from Dwight that he even brought it up to Negan.

“Are you implying my girl is a mole?” Negan questions with a threatening undertone in his voice as he inches closer to the shorter man pinning him against the nearest wall.

“N-Negan I’m just. Making assumptions here” Dwight laughs nervously. “Don’t listen to me”

“Are you sure? You’re assumin’ my girl knows the people in this little community that I plan to fucking destroy—-“

“Babe” Y/N interprets watching Negan scramble a bit letting go of Dwight as he gave her a terrified look. Resulting in her giving him a “beat it” expression which he did instantly while her man stayed. “What were you doing?”

“Dwight got it in his head that you might be a mole for this new community…but he also hasn’t been a Savior as long as you have”

“You know he’s wrong right?”

“I do. I’ll always believe you over anybody else…” He trailed and that drew her to cross her arms expressing annoyance. “But…I have to ask darling”

“What?”

“Do you know…who Rick Grimes is?”

Are you going to hurt me like you hurt them if I said yes? Y/N thought as she gave a soft nod watching his shoulders tense with the new information but when he instantly cracked to watching her cower. Made him feel like a monster.

Funny…isn’t it?

“…I would never hurt you”

“I…I know…” Y/N frowns still avoiding his gaze. “Negan, you have to tell me what you do to these people…I need to hear it from you and not from the violence hungry soldiers or the innocent”

What she did know, was the reason to want control. The loss of his wife Lucille. She understood why he couldn’t trust anyone. She knew about the killing…just not to the extent that it was. What he does to these people psychologically was…heartbreaking.

He learned who she knew before he found her. She had a group back in Atlanta…that held up in a quarry. Her best friend was the one they took hostage and the one who saved her from the city was the man he killed.

They left her, is what Negan would think for Y/N to side with his actions. But she doesn’t. She has her own anger towards the things that have happened to her…but she would never kill a man to make things right.

“It’s okay to hate me after learning about everything”

Y/N remained silent as the two were now sat on their bed in their shared room.

“I won’t give you anything to cause more harm”

“I know”

“I hate you for killing people…innocent or not”

“I know…”

“But I hate myself for loving you and only wanting to stay in the moment from when you saved me” Y/N felt the tears roll off her cheeks as he tried to wipe away her tears but she retracted at first before suddenly bringing herself into his arms latching onto him.

The top Savior, the boss, the man fears by many…fell apart in her embrace holding onto her for dear life as if she’d disappear if he let go.

When the morning came, Negan sat alone in the conference room having arrived before everybody else he asked to join him on this trip to Alexandria a couple days before the deadline. To his surprise, Y/N entered the room dressed for a run as she gave him a stern look.

“They will recognize you”

“I know”

“…I don’t…I can’t have you getting hurt”

“I won’t…if I do, I know what you would do”

“I won’t punish with you present”

“I wish you didn’t at all.” And with that she left to check on those preparing the vehicles.

When the debrief ended and everyone was loading into the vehicles…Negan approached his waiting for Y/N to join him as she watched Dwight drag Daryl into the truck.

“Darling?”

“He won’t give you anything.”

“What?”

“He won’t give you what you want. Daryl is stubborn. He won’t…he doesn’t turn his back on his people” Y/N felt the old sting she felt that night, Negan didn’t even have to say what he wanted to know that she’s feeling all she felt that night. “Abusing him won’t give you anything unless you brought the dead back to life”

Negan bites his lip anxiously before stopping Dwight from shutting the doors to the truck and giving Y/N a look. She instantly took that chance to climb in with the hunter as Dwight gave the boss man a concerned expression but his immediately went dark.

“Don’t ask questions unless you want to meet your maker, Dwight.” He snapped, walking away from the truck to get into his car to lead the group.

The second the doors shut, Y/N sat close to the door while Daryl hugged the wall by the drivers.

He’s dead. Has to be.

This is a goddamn ghost in front of him.

“You ain’t real”

Y/N didn’t say anything and watched the man she knew to have a hard exterior just fall apart.

“You ain’t real. You died. You died that night at the barn fire. You never turned up. You ain’t real!” Daryl shouted at her but she kept a level head while the driver groans in annoyance.

“You didn’t look for me. None of you did”

“Please—-If this is some sick joke!” Daryl snapped once more, this time when they halted Y/N punched the man in the arm.

“ITS REAL” Y/N snapped back. “I never died. You never looked for me. You all left me behind”

“And now what? You’re a Savior. One of the enemy? I’ve seen yea. Didn’t believe it. Caught glimpses enough to just think you’re not real. But every time I saw you, you were with him.” Daryl frowns avoiding her eyes when he scoffs along with the next part. “What, the dick game that good?”

“If you’re going to piss me off, I’m not going to help you” Y/N whispered in anger as the last part confused Daryl.

“What? Now?!”

“No, I just need you to listen carefully”

With hesitation, he did. Before more could be discussed, they were at Alexandria and everyone unloaded. Y/N stuck in the back out of Negan’s way but when the Saviors separated to raid the community…that’s when she locked eyes with an old familiar pair.

“What’s gotten into you, Mr. Grimes?” Negan smirks turning around and his expression fell watching Y/N get closer to make sure she’s not seeing a ghost.

But Rick was. He was rethinking who died at the lineup, maybe he died and this was his hell.

Being faced with who he left behind

“What are you taking from them?” Y/N questions Negan while keeping eye contact with the deer in headlights.

“Everything. 90% of everything”

“No”

A few Saviors turned their heads toward Negan for an immediate lash out. None of them seeing how whipped the man is before until then…

“What would you suggest then?”

Y/N, being the person she’s always been, wouldn’t let them suffer because of past actions. She told Negan to let them keep their beds and 75% of their pantry goods. She knows he would argue about the weaponry, she’s heard how he was in other communities. So targeting stuff he wouldn’t like to argue with her about, he will do for her instantly.

As Negan went to check on what they were taking back to the Sanctuary, Rick took note on the power Y/N has over the man that killed their family. But he couldn’t help himself the second he was alone with her.

“He killed Glenn at the lineup” Rick blurted out watching her tense. “You’re with a man that killed your best friend and you’re okay with that? You know what you could do to stop hi—-“

“The fuck are you telling her?” The Savior Arat got up in Rick’s face when he was only telling Y/N.

“The truth of what you monsters have done” Rick stated pushing her back and before Arat could get up and personal again, Y/N stepped in between them.

“Don’t.”

“Or what? You’ll have Negan kill me?” Arat hissed, not liking the fact that Y/N stood her ground. “He’d do anything you ask of him princess. We are here to show who’s boss…and that’s not you”

“You lay a finger on anybody and I’ll rip it off”

That only brought a smirk out of Arat as she pulls herself away to continue the job. Y/N turned to Rick giving him a saddened look but there was something else about it that intrigued him.

“Y/N—-“

“Keep your head down Rick Grimes. Or others will be watching it roll” Y/N frowns stepping away and toward Negan’s car to stay in for the remainder of the visit.

The drive back was quiet and more than Arat was made about Y/N’s decision. They still took from the community, Y/N knew she couldn’t completely skew his decision into not taking anything. She needed to be not so suspicious. But that didn’t matter.

Y/N stood outside the conference room eavesdropping on Negan yelling at several saviors that have told Y/N what he has done to the communities. If they had kept their mouths shut and to themselves, nothing would’ve reached her ears.

She pushed the door open to listen to the once yelling man, stop and turn into a softness only she heard and those who witnessed his change around her.

“Let’s go, tomorrow will be different” Simon assures Negan as he walks past Y/N with the others following after him.

Negan waited for her to approach him at the table bringing herself to slot between his legs as he was sat on the table. Y/N rests her hands on his thighs feeling his forehead rest against hers.

“I’m sorry for yellin’”

“Why are you apologizing? It wasn’t—-“

“I know you were eavesdropping, darling. I was mad about the stunt you pulled…hell I’m more mad at myself for letting you”

“Negan…”

“Yikes…First name. Guess I’m in the dog ho—-“

“Would you hurt me if I went against your rule here?”

The man instantly pulled away and carefully took a hold of her face with both his hands as his expression fell.

“I would never hurt you. My empire could fall because of you and I’d never lay a finger” Negan frowns, wanting to know what’s going on inside that beautiful mind of hers that is hidden behind the sad look on her external features. “I love you, Y/N. Don’t ever think that I’d hurt you ever”

Y/N didn’t say those three words back as all she did was bring her lips against his. Enjoying the peacefulness it brought, for it might be the last…

“Let’s go to bed, love”

“Mm…okay, darling”

As the night progressed, Y/N managed to slip out of his grasp leaving their room but not before grabbing his keys.

She managed to get to the prison cells without being noticed as all she needed to do was get Dwight away from the cell in mind. It would’ve only been difficult if Y/N didn’t know Sherry. She helped her distract her partner in order to get to Daryl’s cell.

But yet another obstacle stepped in her way.

“What do you think you’re doing”

“Get out of my way Arat”

“Or what?”

Y/N stared her down and went to walk passed, she didn’t get far until Arat grabbed a fist full of her hair to pull her back. Little did she know that Y/N’s instinct was to grab her arm and throw her body over her person. With the right formation, it’s down without struggle. The self defense classes from before the world ended still came in handy.

The thud of Arat hitting the concrete was only going to alert people so Y/N went fast with unlocking the door to Daryl’s cell and dragging him out of the facility.

Daryl didn’t have to get far to know Y/N hesitated. He turned toward her, being tossed a set of keys for one of the bikes.

“Come with me”

“I can’t.”

“Y/N…he’s a monster. He’s killed—-“

“I know—-“

“And you’re okay with that?” Daryl frowns wanting to know why she’s doing this. Why she’s hesitating and staying with a man that’s hurt many…”Y/N. Please. You can help us take—-“

“And I will. But not in the way you all want…you want him dead. I want him alive. For before this whole empire…he was just Negan Smith. Not a scary savior that takes so much from others because the world took everything from him.” Y/N frowns knowing Daryl wouldn’t get it, she doesn’t give him much credit. “I will help you take him down…take the Saviors down…but you won’t see either of us at the end of it”

“Y/N…”

“Go, Daryl. Before they realize what I’ve done”

“…I waited for you. I waited for you at the highway that night” Daryl frowns feeling the tears burn and threaten to fall. “Rick made us leave…I didn’t want to”

“Daryl…go back to your family before this was all for nothing”

The hesitation ached at him as he kept looking back every step of getting out of there. Daryl wanted to scream at her and take her but she’s always been a smart person…so he left for the Hilltop. Knowing Alexandria would be their first target for his disappearance.

As Y/N quietly made it back inside, she noticed their bedroom door open and the light on. She peered inside finding an annoyed Arat and Simon talking to Negan who instantly dismissed them. Arat of course purposely bumping into Y/N on the way out as Simon gave her a more sympathetic look.

Once it was the two of them and the door shut, Negan instantly pulled Y/N into his embrace asking her in whispers if she was okay. If she was hurt in any way. The confusion struck her as she brought her arms around him resting her head against his chest.

“Negan…”

Negan held her tightly feeling her shift to bring her gaze to look up when he parted enough to look her in the eye.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“Yes…” Y/N frowns bringing her hands to rest on his face, her thumbs gently wiping away his tears. “But, Negan…you can come with me…leave it all behind.”

“But I—“

“You don’t have to decide now. You will know where to find me”

“Y/N…”

Please…

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Till Forever Falls Apart Timeline

Author's Note: I am going to be honest, this is a loose timeline, I have a more detailed one and just retracted what I didn't want to reveal yet and will be revealed in the chapters I will be posting. Good news I have started chapter 1 so yay! This is an interactive AU, so feel free to send in asks.

May 2020 - Jack met Idris at a party for the first time, it's supposed to be a one night stand and she ended up staying the weekend at Jacks. 

They end up hitting it off and Jack gets hooked after the weekend and asks for her number and she gives it to him. But she does warn him she won’t be around for the summer since she just finished her finals at NYU and plans on going home to Ann Arbor.

July 2020 - They text throughout the summer and Jack ends up inviting her his July 4th party and she surprisingly shows up. They sleep together again, and Jack swears she’s the best he ever had. 

August 2020 - So when they end up running into each other the next month, back in Jersey. They start hanging out and become true friends with benefits, because with Iddy in her junior year, she physically can’t have anything except something casual. Although even if she had time, at this point Iddy doesn’t see Jack more than a friend with benefits. 

July 2021 - Idris comes for July 4th again at the lakehouse. Quinn joking that it is becoming tradition, Iddy being at the lakehouse during the 4th. 

September 2021 - Idris found out she got pregnant. Iddy is a senior in college now, 2 semesters away from graduating. 

October 2021 - Idris decides to move out of her apartment with her roommates despite it being closer to NYU, and moves in with Jack.

December 2021 - Jack proposes over Christmas break and she says yes. But her only condition is that they don’t even think about wedding planning until she graduates and Zander is born, because she doesn’t wanna be like 8 months pregnant at her wedding.

May 2022 - Idris 6 months pregnant walks the stage graduating with honors with a double major in art history and communications. Jack is so nervous something is going to happen simply because she’s wearing heels and he knows her ankles have been very swollen lately, to which Idris simply rolls her eyes. 

July 23, 2022 - Zander born in Michigan. Idris was nervous about how Jack’s brothers would react to living with a newborn. But both brothers fell in love with little baby Zander. Idris felt truly a part of the family, especially when no one cared that her mom and sister stayed for a week when she gave birth. 

September 2022 - Idris gets clear to have sex again, and Luke agrees to watch Zander for a date night. Both get a little too wine drunk and one thing leads to another and they get pregnant with Zola. Literally the first time they have sex since Zander is born, Idris cries a lot, a lot when she finds out, a lot when she tells Jack, a lot when she does the math of how far apart the baby in tummy and 2 month old will be apart in age. 

October 2022 - They get Apollo. 

May 2023 - Zola is born, and Jack calls her the best birthday present ever since she comes a week early and two days after his birthday. 

September 2023 - Once Jack starts even just preseason, it hits Iddy how hard it is to have two kids one who JUST turned one, a dog, and starting her career. 

May 2024 - Once everyone comes home, they play house, pretend everything is okay. They celebrate Jack’s birthday with a small party with just the family. 

May 16th - they celebrate Zola’s first birthday. They have all the family over both Idris and Jack’s. Something about that day brings them together after having problems for months. 

September 2024 - Iddy asks for a break, it is a very big fight. 

Early October 2024 -  Eventually she finds an apartment she likes a few blocks away. Which is truly perfect, since Jack and her still haven’t come up with a better plan than switching every other day.

[racefortheironthrone]

Now you mentioned i, I am a bit surprised Smallville is prominently and consistently in Kansas? It's Smallville, Kansas. There might be others and certainly cities located vaguely within a real region, but it's definitely the first fictional town or city of D.C. in a real-world American state to come to mind.

So this gets to the weirdness of D.C geography. When Superman was first established, there was much less of a cohesive "universe," so if Siegel and Shuster wanted Superman to specifically be raised in Kansas, that's where he was from and the rest of the geography would have to work itself out.

IMO, this early slapdash approach to world-building has (over time) led to some things that just don't make sense to me as a student of urban history and urban studies:

Metropolis shouldn't be in Delaware. It doesn't make sense in terms of urbanization, given the context of an already-crowded Northeastern Corridor - Delaware simply does not have the capacity to sustain a city of 11 million people, and you wouldn't get a municipality of that size right next door to New York City (as well as D.C's other fictional cities in the area). The whole idea of Metropolis and Gotham being across the river/bay from each other has never really worked for me; you can still do Superman/Batman team-up stories no matter where they are, because Superman can fly and Batman has his own personal fighter jets.

More importantly, it doesn't make sense in terms of historic patterns of urban migration. Moving to the big city in search of the American Dream is a big part of the Clark Kent story, but historically people moving from rural to urban areas overwhelmingly go to the nearest large city, depending on how transportation networks are arranged, whether we're talking about train lines or direct flights or highways or bus routes. There is a reason we can track regional movements of black communities during the Great Migration, because who went where depended on which train lines ran through which states:

This is why I've always felt that, while Metropolis has aesthetically been associated with New York City, it logically should be Chicago. It is the biggest city in the Midwest, one very much associated with robber baron industrialists and corruption at the highest levels, and absolutely stuffed with art deco architecture for Superman to pose on top of. Up until the Tribune Company began to strip it for parts, it's also been a major newspaper town with a long tradition of muck-raking investigative journalism that would inspire a starry-eyed cub reporter like Clark. As one of the original transit hubs and the U.S' own "nature's metropolis," it is precisely the place that a Kansas farm boy would hop a train to, because all trains go to Chicago. Also, culturally I like it better that Clark Kent represents the City of Wide Shoulders whereas Bruce Wayne is the typical Tri-State Area Type-A personality.

Going back to D.C's bizarro Northeast geography, I likewise have an issue with Gotham being in New Jersey...if New York City is also supposed to be a major metropolitan area in the D.C universe. Just as Delaware would struggle to support a city of 11 million people, it would be very difficult to grow Gotham into a city of 10 million people so close to the gravity well of the Greater New York Metro Area. New Jersey is a pretty urbanized state, but its biggest cities tend to range in population from 300,000 to 100,000 - which works very well for a place like Blüdhaven, which is supposed to have something of an inferiority complex vis-a-vis Gotham - because a lot of the population tends to gravitate to NYC for work and eventually housing as well.

I've already said my piece about the lack of cultural specificity of D.C's Midwest.

As far as the West Coast goes, I've always found it a bit odd that Star City isn't where Seattle is supposed to be. Let's face it, the only place where Oliver Queen's facial hair would go unnoticed is Seattle. Also, Coast City is often depicted too far north on the map - if it's supposed to be a half-hour away from Edwards Air Force Base, it should be significantly more southern, down by Kern County and San Bernadino County, not practically up in San Francisco.