#horrible terrible idea

[madmanrambler]

Anastasia Steele should Peg Christian Grey.

Fifty Shades of Grey has always interested me in a theoretical sense. Not because its good, and not because it's a fun kind of trashy, but because its framework is fascinating. It's something that my brain has chewed on, a theoretical AU or rewrite that's ticked away in my head from a purely technical interest. It's frustrating, because it's almost so interesting, and I think its worth a look at how that story could be rearranged with very small changes to hopefully lead to Anastasia pegging Christian.

The names of Fifty Shades of Grey are what first got me onto this topic. Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Our protagonist's name is both a princess and a strong, durable metal. It is not something I would associate with someone submissive or demure. I picture an Anastasia Steele and from the name alone it feels like a powerful, bold, potentially fiery but equally likely cool and considering sort of person. The combination of royalty in the first name and durability in the last name paint a picture, one that I believe Anastasia never plays into.

Christian Grey is an equally interesting name, in the opposite direction. Christian is one of the most common names in the world. It's worldly, its simple, it evokes a common religion, its workaday. Grey implies faded, it implies neutral, it implies common and something your eyes pass over. Christian Grey, going purely by name, should be someone that comes across as, yes, experienced but also quiet, unassuming, paint by numbers. There might be internal complexity but externality our eyes should glaze over Christian Grey. We should not register him, we should not consider him.

Now, obviously the story wants to play at least partially into irony. Anastasia comes from a family that is somewhere in the middle class, and Christian while he grew up poor rose to become a CEO and lives strongly in that realm. The trouble is that it quickly shifts away from the actual possible power in their names and, as far as I can tell, never really digs into it beyond a superficial level. Interesting framework, disappointing execution.

Now we should consider the story. At its most basic, Fifty Shades of Grey is about a young inexperienced girl meeting an intimidating but attractive man, and him immediately taking an interest in her. They then become entangled, with Christian immediately wanting to apply a contract as the means of negotiating their relationship. They have some scenes of romance, feelings grow stronger, but Anastasia can't accept being hurt as a part of the relationship and they break up. The other stories build towards a final reuniting but we'll avoid that in this discussion and focus purely on the first book/movie.

Again, in terms of framework this is interesting, especially with the names in consideration. The princess that lives in something of a common structure catches the eye of an intimidating yet paradoxically unassuming man that has risen to a high position from an impoverished lifestyle, and the ultimate failure of their relationship is centered around the refusal of the princess to suffer for her lover's pleasure. the trouble comes when the story fails in its characterization of Anastasia and throughout she comes across more as uncertain and confused rather then discomforted and struggling with her dueling and quite complex interests. Christian, by extension, is completely failed by the narrative. He feels like a Patrick Bateman like, a person uncomfortable with attraction not defined by rules and law but also wants to love while being scared of it. Instead, he has this all muddled by just being a very attractive boyfriend who protects his girlfriend from all the dangers she doesn't see that also wants to flog his girlfriend without safe words or aftercare. Doesn't land well.

Additionally, the explanation for the contract is a bit ridiculous. Christian Grey makes the women he contracts keep silent about the nature of their relationship, not wanting it to be revealed that he's into BDSM and a dom. While middle America would be (presumably in the writer's assumption) disgusted by an immoral and perverted CEO, it feels like in general the reaction people would have would be a resounding 'figured'. Its a flimsy explanation of why we need to inject drama in a story about BDSM.

The easiest way to fix so much of this, in my mind, is to flip the dynamic. Christian Grey is pursuing Anastasia Steele not because Christian Grey wants a new submissive, but because he wants a new Dom.

This would completely recontextualize so many things in the story. Christian is a self made man turned CEO and carefully maintains an unassuming but rich lifestyle because he's worried the public at large realizing he likes to get tied up and whipped could damage his company. Anastasia struggles with her attraction to Christian and her own enjoyment of a sexual lifestyle with him because she's struggling to understand why she might find pleasure from hurting someone she loves. Christian's posturing and overly protective nature transforms from a creepy focus of protecting his object, it's now the submissiveness of a guard dog wanting to protect it's master.

The urge to pass off all the actual understanding of a relationship onto rules penned by one person with revisions by the other? It goes from a creepy attempt at control by an incredibly shit Dom into a fascinating attempt to impose structure on a relationship that scares a sub as much as it attracts them. the lack of aftercare and safe words? Still Christian's fault, but I think more forgivable in a situation where he's a veteran sub and just wants his Dom to move at their own pace and not worry about it or is scared of imposing rules on her.

And of course, there's the names. Anastasia Steele, on top of everything listed above, feels like a name a professional dominatrix would use. Christian Grey? If you told me that man was submissive off the name alone I'd believe it.

And that's why Anastasia Steele should peg Christian Grey.

...

of course, the trouble is that this is only going to happen in a fanfic. It's a reimagining of a relationship and an attempt to write a fanfiction for a property I have no interest in beyond this interesting little recognition of what could be there going by the framework. There's nothing really concrete here unless you intend to complete rewrite a trilogy of novels purely off of displeasure over poor BDSM practices demonstrated by a duo that should absolutely know better.

It'd be a silly thing to do.

Now mind you, if I wrote a completely original story about a young woman named Diana Irons and her rags-to-riches CEO boyfriend José Brown and their torrid affair as Diana struggles with her partner's worrying fixation on her dominating him...

[truepsychicbedtimestories]

Having a slumber party in the 2000s stimboard!

💤 / 🎉 /💤

🎉 / 💤 /🎉

💤 / 🎉 /💤

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[fishfacedterror]

thinking now abt how one of the first things Anya says in the entire game is (paraphrasing) how she doesnt beleive people are their worst actions.

how she says that to Jimmy, of all fucking people.

like, ik in context shes referring to why Curly would have crashed the ship. but like. just thinking on that after the game being completed/watching a play of it gives you. a lot to think on.

[megalomari]

so that third movie huh

[amanitacurses]

[pharawee]

"If you can win his heart, you can win the whole team's heart."

[skateboardtotheheart]

this account is now a buck/tommy fan page thank you and good day

[thedeafprophet]

I'm not actually sure where the date for Jamie's birthday comes from. Because they don't actually know the day they were born, being a foundling and all, but a chosen date is just as real as any other.

Perhaps it was assigned to them for book keeping at a young age, perhaps they chose it from somewhere else..

...or maybe they took the date from someone else, for whom the years no longer pass.

[we-are-dogclan]

ouuugh motivation come back to me……… com e back…

[kiyo-cant-write]

aaaaaa ok so so ... i may or may not be writing a phanfic that is crossovered with mha and i need to know if other people would read my horrid horrid 2012 brainrot that is returning to me horribly right now like? reblog n let me know???

dan and phil in my hero universe ig lmao xD

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i decided to watch netflix persuasion again to see if its horrors hold up over time (lol), and while there are a few things that i enjoy -- a) it's pretty to look at, and b) dakota johnson regency wine aunt hot mess breaking the fourth wall is pretty winning as a concept, even if it belongs somewhere else -- it's incredible how this adaptation took one of the most finely crafted depictions of romantic tension in the history of storytelling and just deflated it with pure generic mediocrity at every single opportunity. like, every moment that's supposed to be like !!!!!!!!!!! is instead like "okay ...... i guess ............ they're bantering halfheartedly again ........ cool .......... zzzzzz ........"

[moonfromearth]

All the sims are going mad for Alice + The Madness!

These are... Not my greatest screenshots ever, but look at this adorable t-shirt!! Tysm @salemssimblr for the merch!! 😁

[pennywises]

Bill Skarsgård as Sven Stolpe in BURN ALL MY LETTERS (2022) dir. Björn Runge

[nono-uwu]

Is this what Tenri went through for god knows how long

"Have to water the shitbird real quick wait a sec"

"Prosper stupid feather thing"

Og utc

[iridescenttttttt]

Sit down it’s time to talk about how all of the characters in TSAMs are deeply traumatized and flawed and most actions that the characters take that people are frustrated by can be explained if you consider that the trauma plays a huge role in the actions they take in response to stressful situations they’re constantly being put in.