#honestly this post is really long and just don't read it

[wilwheaton]

I didn't expect my original post up there (which, honestly, was amusing to me in a wry, gen x way) to blow up a little bit like it did, but I'm just overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and kindness and all the things that continue to make this hellsite (affectionate) worth protecting and defending until the sun goes out.

I am deeply grateful for your acceptance!

But that's not why I reblogged this. I reblogged this because that thing I wrote about Goncharov is one of my favorite things I have ever written. I don't recall another time I had that much fun writing anything. And it made me so happy to read it all over again, I wanted to share that happiness.

Remember how fun that was? That wonderful moment when we all just agreed to play a global improv game, and celebrated each other's creativity? There were no bad ideas, just fun additions and the largest online gathering of Theater Kids And Associates the world has ever seen?

That only happened because Tumblr can't not be Tumblr. And to bring it all back around, I've been here so long, I'm really happy to be one of the many Elders who care about nurturing it for the future, if I am ever allowed the privilege.

I say this with love. Do not cite the old magic to me, friend. I was there when it was written.

I appreciate this ... acceptance? It's nice to be acceptable.

But I feel obligated to point out that I've been posting on this hellsite (affectionate) since at least 2008.

I don't know what this invasion is, but I am not part of it. I've been here so long, I'm part of the furniture.

I'm not going to play the Elder card, but I am going to tap the sign.

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

i have headcanons for pregnant betas in ABO

During pregnancy a beta insttead of nesting they hide and aislate themselves,they also would try to hide it from his/her couple as long as they can and often feel depressed and insecure wonder if they alpha/Omega would reject them and the pup

So how would be HSR men when beta s/o starts to act like that and after research they find beta is pregnant and tried to hide it from them?

What an interesting headcanon! I'd love to read more of your headcanons you have for betas if you want to share :3

I made the guys alphas(though it's not exactly mentioned) because omegas getting other dynamics pregnant is pretty much unheard of though I'd probably make a whole separate post exploring that in the future idk

cw: omegaverse, pregnancy

Aventurine

It's been some time since he and his beta have spent some time together partially due to his work and theirs so he doesn't notice his beta withdrawing from him at first.

He'll figure that them isolating themselves in their bedroom every so often when they get home is just a way for them to self soothe themselves from irritating coworkers and frustrating clients. He understands so be doesn't push and goes on his way though he might try to join them but if they seem a bit too irritated with him he'll back off.

Aventurine is observant though and will pick up on how their behavior worsens day by day with them isolating themselves more often than not as well as how their shoulders sag when they think they're alone making them look smaller.

He does a bit of digging to try and figure out just what is making the love of his life so upset. But he finds it even more suspicious that he finds nothing wrong with their life. Their boss isn't mistreating them, they're eating their meals(perhaps a little more than usual but hey if you're hungry you're hungry), they sleep(much more than usual but it makes sense they work late hours) and they do greet him when he comes home(though they have been avoiding his hugs around their belly lately).

But it clicks in his head eating more, sleeping more, rejecting his hugs around their belly...just the possibility of them being pregnant leaves him feeling dizzy, giddy, yet also melancholic at the same time. So he does a little research on beta pregnancies and the more he reads the more things match up the stronger those feelings become.

Later that day when he finds his beta he'll let them know he's aware of their pregnancy and that while he's sad they hid it from him he's happy. He'll spend his time reassuring his beta that he does want them and that he wants their pups too. He doesn't know if he'd be a good father but he'd try.

Blade

His schedule is practically nonexistent one month he'll be free of work and then the next six he'll be working nonstop so it's very likely he wouldn't notice his beta mates behavior change unless it was during some of his off times. The other Stellaron Hunters, if they spend any amount of time with his mate, may notice but if they don't they won't be much help in him figuring out his mate is pregnant. There's also whether or not his beta mate is also a Stellaron Hunter or not or just a civilian living their life separate from them.

So out of all of these men Blade would likely not figure out his beta mate was pregnant unless he or his coworkers are around the to notice their changes or until they were far enough in the pregnancy to start showing when he meets them again.

If he's around them for a while and he notices their change of behavior and eating habits he will ask them right away if something is wrong and will call their lie if they try to say it's nothing. He'll out right ask if they're pregnant if they say they aren't sick and or injured as that's really the only other thing he could think of that could make them behave so differently.

Honestly surprised when they go quiet and just nod their head when he asks them again. He never planned to be a father, well he certainly never planned to have a mate either so he's more than shocked to say the least. A part of him is happy but a part of him is also just melancholic.

Will just hold his mate in his arms for a while as everything sinks in and they try to calm down. If his mate wants to keep the baby he won't object but he truly doesn't know how to be a father though he will do his best to support them.

Jing Yuan

Another one that is often too busy but unlike Aventurine he notices them distancing themselves from him much faster. At first he'll believe that they might just be having an off day so he doesn't press it but when he notices it happening more often than not that's when he steps in and confronts them.

He'll ask them if they've been alright and if there's anything they might be worried about and that they can come to him. He almost gets them to talk because he's so nonjudgmental and willing to hear them out but they back out because of their own worries. He doesn't press it again but makes note that they're hiding something from him that obviously makes them hesitant.

His first thought to their hesitation is that they might be in danger of some sorts and does some investigating just to make sure that's not the case as their safety is his priority. But his thoughts change when he notices them getting a little ill around certain smells and eating large meals less but snacking more while they hide out in the quietest part of the garden of their home.

Now he's not one to jump to conclusions so fast so instead he asks Lady Bailu about their behavior and symptoms and she pretty much confirms they're pregnant right then and there though she will have to perform an examination just to be sure and sends him on his way telling him to brew them some ginger tea to soothe their upset stomach.

Jing Yuan brews the tea and offers it to them with a light snack letting them know that he's aware they may be pregnant and that while he's a little saddened they felt the need to hide such a thing from him he's more than happy to have pups with them. Spends the next few hours just comforting and cuddling his mate until they've calmed down and they tell him they'll see Lady Bailu tomorrow for an official exam.

Dan Heng

Out of everyone he'd know his mate is pregnant the fastest as he doesn't exactly leave his beta mates side once they become mates. He and his mate aren't separated for missions or anything unless they absolutely have to be so he'll know if they start acting weird.

Does give his mate some privacy when they want some alone time but does become suspicious he might have done something wrong since they keep avoiding him. It frustrates him but he lets them do it.

Looks up some data from the archives about Beta behaviors just so he can confirm if he's doing something wrong to upset them. He doesn't think about if the section about Beta pregnancy behaviors will be useful to their situation but he reads it anyways for future reference. But the more he reads the more and more things start to make sense and he is silently jumping for joy while simultaneously screaming into the void because this shouldn't be even possible in the first place.

While Vidyadharas can certainly have dynamics like most other races they're pretty much infertile as there are no records of their kind producing offspring within their own race or outside. And while his mind does jump to the possibility that his mate might have gotten pregnant by someone else he pushes that idea out of his head because he's been by their side consistently and he knows they wouldn't cheat on him.

He's pretty overwhelmed by the possibility but does his best to calmly ask his mate if they are pregnant and reassures them that he's not mad or anything just worried and even scared for them and their pup. Encourages his mate to see Lady Bailu just to confirm everything and to ensure they do have a smooth pregnancy should they decide to keep the pup.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

god youre so right about the dream writing getting more "polished" im not sure if you talked about this yet but do you think Silver is in trouble with how much magic hes using + the number of people hes transporting dream to dream? like honestly Im worried for him

[You can read my thoughts on the book 7 chapter 12 part 2 update here!]

For real 😭 I mean, I still have several major problems with the dreams (like how the pacing is off, how the characters waste so much time standing around and talking about their personal lives when the world is in peril, how they have a very set pattern especially when it comes to the OB boys, and how the dream logic keeps overcomplicating or contradicting itself). However, the character writing has drastically improved for some Savanaclaw and Heartslabyul dreams. Leona, Jack, and Ace’s dreams were very meaningful. Ruggie, Cater, Trey, and Deuce’s dreams had their moments as well, even if they were sillier overall. I largely found the Octavinelle and Pomefiore dreams to be dull or time wasters, Ignihyde’s (Idia’s) and Scarabia serviceable, and Diasomnia’s (Sebek and Lilia’s) good but Lilia’s was too long and Sebek’s was too short.

I too was at first confused about how often and how easily Silver is able to dream hop (something I had expressed in this post), but I honestly don't think anything will come out of it, even if it's fun to theorize. Silver states in book 7 that his UM doesn't take much to use. On top of that, Mr. Shroud (or was it Mrs. Shroud, I forgot but one of them for sure) theorizes that the mages that are resting are recovering the magic they use in their dreams (since technically sleeping helps mages recover from blot accumulation). So I think it's supposed to be a combination of these factors (although fans have suggested other ideas too) that explain away why no one is worrying about Silver's wellbeing this late into the dream hopping. Again though, his UM is probably designed this way as a plot contrivance to justify how he's able to visit so many dreams. In the most recent JP main story update, Silver mentions the limit he can handle when using his UM is ~10 bodies. He has just reached that cap (himself, Sebek, Yuu, Grim, Ace, Deuce, Cater, Trey, Ortho Leona; Idia is also there, but he is present via his tablet while his actual body remains elsewhere so I'm not sure if he counts). At the end of Trey's dream, it seems that they're able to leap into Riddle's dream just fine so I don't think there's really an issue.

[necrotic-nephilim]

i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.

i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)

but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.

and the peace offering is Tim.

Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.

and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.

and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.

i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.

also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

[halojalex]

the more i read multi-chaptered fics, especially slow burn ones, the more i feel like i lose faith in my own chaptered fic that i have yet to even start

like i don't mean this in a self-pitying way, i just feel like i don't have enough motivation to write it as well as some of the other slow-burn fics i read. it's not even like i don't like the premise, like i feel as though it could be really good if written well, i just don't have the motivation to even start it

[c6jpg]

i should have paid more attention to the first part of the little saurian world quest bc i am now fully invested

[quasi-normalcy]

.

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[shuicheese]

I'm thinking about my dreams again bc I might actually try to finally map things out (this post made me do it) and I'm realizing a trend;

there's too much water

[nebulouscoffee]

You ever just have a conversation with someone who treats you like absolute garbage (and doesn't and will never understand this) and watch them walk away having "won" the argument (because you let them) (because fighting back would really just make everything worse so you pretend to agree for self preservation purposes) while thinking "ooohoohoo well little do you know I'll be processing alllllll of this through my silly little space fanfictions"

[britneyshakespeare]

The gaslighting Duke of Vienna

[deviousdiesel]

.

[biillys]

a c in english and a c- in spanish. yeah. well, that's not normal for you. if you say so.

STRANGER THINGS — 4.01: the hellfire club

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

endings and beginnings

it's been about a month since i last posted to this blog on the eve of my second exam and soooo much has happened since!

i've had my second exam and new pretty much as i walked out that i hadn't passed - i've also had it confirmed since. so i'll have one final exam to do in the summer exam season.

the next day i was back at work because my last day was approaching fast and i still needed to complete a project and finish handing over everything. there was also the matter organising my leaving do. and i also wanted to catch up with friends now that i didn't have exams looming over me. so i was super busy and also slowly getting a bit emotional. i had been working there with the same people for over SEVEN years!!! my boss' eldest son had become an adult during that time...

it would catch my off guard at random moments and i worried about getting teary during my leaving do, luckily i was so nervous about the speech my boss had prepared that by the time it came to it i was very chill.

the day after my last day at work it was straight off for holidays with my family for a week. we had a lovely time but my mind was still replaying some of the parting words from my colleagues and also looking toward the start of the small research project.

back from the holidays it was straight into the project, meeting the other group members, setting up my workplace, figuring out lunch and coffee breaks, dealing with admin, and trying to understand the project and my task within.

it's all new and all things i haven't done before! it's both exciting and overwhelming! and that's where i'm at now. i'm in the second week of the project and starting to settle in.