#honestly just need to declutter

[linogram]

and all the advice assumes that i have clothes strewn abt my room and trash all over the place and that if i pick up just those things, my room will be like 90% cleaner, when i have those things under control and the next advice is just "everything needs a place" which is good in theory, but doesnt help me when to me "on top of the clutter of my desk" = "a place"

every time i get the motivation to clean my room im immediately reminded of how i just dont have enough storage space for all my stuff and then i lose the motivation

[fingertipsmp3]

I haaate when apple pay doesn’t work and I have to type my credit card number in because now I have to actually comprehend the ways in which I am damaging myself financially

[olderthannetfic]

Does anyone have any tips on how to start writing by hand again? Not, from, like, a motor skills issue, but more from like a...focus issue/ADHD lens i guess?

I earnestly haven't written anything by hand in years. (I mean I still writes notes to myself and things like that but I mean writing in the creative sense.) Typing is faster for me, as it is for most people, but like, I USED to be able to write stories by hand! I want to get back into it because when I write on a device I'm too tempted to switch tabs and bullshit around on social media or games. Which is also an issue yes lol but for now I just want to fix a symptom, not a problem. I want to write again! I want to do it high school detention style, electronics locked away in another room and I just gotta write by hand! I want my hand to be cramping so badly by the time I'm done that when I crack my wrist I cry! Ok...maybe not that intense. But :P

This is either gonna sound really weird or really normal, but -- I feel like my brain is too fast for my hands. Or my hand is too slow for my brain. I just legit do not have the patience to write anything longform.

How do y'all recommend I get back into it and retrain myself? Should I maybe start with transcribing an already-typed fic? Should I start off with annotating books (if you're the type of person who thinks no one should ever write in books, pretend I said "take notes on a separate piece of paper", ok?) Obviously i know to start small and not try to immediately become Victor Hugo or anything like that, but I am wondering if anyone has any general advice on retraining that muscle.

I did go on google and reddit to try to find stuff but I guess I don't have the Search Engine Fu to word what I'm trying to say (most of the articles and posts were about, like, PT, or how to be less sloppy, and stuff) or it just seemed too...fluffy. Like "write in a pretty notebook uwu use your favorite pen!" Or just general focus/writing advice (quiet space etc) and not specifically on the Very Basic Skill of writing by hand, which is fair, lol. Plus honestly I'd rather get feedback from people I "know" even if it's just anonymously through fandom kvetching :)

I'd prefer tips specifically from someone who has genuinely retrained themself at this or at something that requires similar cognitive skills (I've worded that way too medically for such a silly problem ha i know), but obviously all input is appreciated!

--

My brain is definitely too fast for my hands. I usually prefer to type for that reason when I'm writing fiction, but I did just start using a new notebook with lovely mushrooms on it. I'm planning my porch redecoration/repainting, a bunch of knitting, decluttering, etc.

My biggest piece of advice is to get a really good pen. It doesn't need to be expensive, but it does need to have ink that flows beautifully. A frustrating pen is the death knell of getting anything done.

Anything that the shiny-light-chasing brain squirrels are supposed to calm down enough to do regularly can be built up to. It requires consistency. Set aside time every day. Treat it like those meditation exercises where the objective is less about never having a stray thought and more about coming back to the practice and re-clearing your mind every time it wanders.

[copperbadge]

In terms of accessories, some people are into collecting shoes, or graphic tee-shirts, or watches, or hats; my thing, mainly, is bags. Specifically messenger bags and backpacks. I own more than I need by about an order of magnitude and I've made several myself, and the only justification I have for keeping them is that I do keep them hung on a wall on display. And because I see them, I often swap out one bag for another. So they do get used.

I've been doing a lot of decluttering -- weeding my clothes, winter gear, kitchen goods, et cetera -- and I've begun to joke that I have so much stuff to donate I should just open my own pop-up thrift shop. But it is going to become a little bit of an issue when I'm done packing it all up and I actually do have to donate it somewhere. I have access to a couple of methods of donating clothing, and I suspect I'll be asking someone to drive me to the local thrift dropoff for the rest, but it's going to be a process regardless.

I've decided, though, that once everything actually is donated, not just weeded and packed up but out of the place, I'm going to treat myself to a reward -- I've wanted a Fjallraven bag forever, and I've never been able to justify buying one because it's a lot of money to pay for something that I realistically could get from Target, just not quite as stylish. And honestly I prefer messenger bags to backpacks.

But I like the idea of trading out this literal carload of stuff for a single, elegant Fjallraven bag, and it'll motivate me to actually get it done, at least I hope. I'm not sure what I'm getting yet but I've narrowed it to three options -- either the traditional Fjallraven Kanken in a fun color scheme, one of the very few shoulder/messenger bags they carry, or one of their hybrid duffle-backpacks for travel. I love my Open Story travel backpack, but they're not terribly durable (plastic fixtures and cheap zips) and as they say, I feel like a Fjallraven travel pack could fix me. :D

[viviennemaeve]

ɢʟᴏᴡ-ᴜᴘ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜʀꜰᴀᴄᴇ

A Spiritual & Energetic Transformation ✨🔮

We often think of a glow-up as just skincare, fashion, or fitness—but a true transformation starts deep within. A spiritual glow-up elevates your energy, aligns you with your highest self, and attracts abundance, love, and success effortlessly. Here’s how to start your inner glow-up journey and recognize the right energies in your life.

☁️ Step 1: Detox Your Energy Like You Detox Your Skin ☁️

Just like clogged pores dull your skin, stagnant energy and negativity block your glow.

🔮 Cut energetic cords with toxic people or past versions of yourself that no longer serve you. Try visualization techniques or candle rituals to release old energy.

🔥 Cleanse your aura with salt baths, smudging (if culturally appropriate), or sound healing.

🌿 Declutter your space to remove energy that keeps you stuck. Keep crystals like selenite, black tourmaline, or clear quartz nearby.

🌙 Step 2: Activate Your Magnetic Energy 🌙

Want to be effortlessly attractive, not just in looks but in energy? It’s all about frequency.

✨ Raise your vibration through high-energy habits—gratitude, laughter, creativity, and movement.

🧘 Balance your chakras, especially the Solar Plexus (confidence) and Heart Chakra (self-love). Use affirmations like “I am radiant. I am magnetic.”

💡 Practice embodiment—move like the version of yourself you dream of being. Confidence isn’t just a thought; it’s an energy you carry.

🦋 Step 3: Recognizing the Right (and Wrong) Energies in Your Circle 🦋

Not everyone deserves access to your energy. Here’s how to identify who should stay and who should go.

🚨 Red Flags in Friendships & Relationships:

❌ You feel drained after talking to them.

❌ They only reach out when they need something.

❌ They belittle your dreams or make you doubt yourself.

❌ They’re inconsistent—hot and cold energy.

❌ They guilt-trip you for setting boundaries.

🌿 Green Flags in Friendships & Relationships:

✅ You feel safe, seen, and energized around them.

✅ They celebrate your wins, big or small.

✅ They respect your boundaries and emotions.

✅ They communicate openly and honestly.

✅ They inspire you to grow and be your best self.

💫 Step 4: Protect & Expand Your Energy 💫

As you level up, not everyone will like your growth. Protect your energy and keep expanding.

🌟 Use protection rituals—visualize a golden light shield around you daily.

📜 Write affirmations and keep them in your mirror or journal.

🎶 Listen to high-frequency music (432Hz, 528Hz) to keep your energy aligned.

🌙 Trust your intuition—if something feels off, it probably is.

A true glow-up isn’t just about looking better—it’s about feeling better, vibrating higher, and attracting the right people, opportunities, and love into your life. 💖

✨ Are you ready to step into your most radiant self? ✨

[arimakeys]

🌸 GLOW UP GUIDE – WINTER BREAK 🌸

To reconnect with yourself, blossom, love who you are, and live like the main character of your own story.

💖🎀 PHYSICAL GLOW UP 🎀💖

🎀 Daily self-care ✨Wash your face in the morning and before bed; ✨Use body and facial moisturizer with a gentle scent; ✨Apply sunscreen every day; ✨Use lip balm or gloss; ✨Wear perfume or body splash, even at home;

🎀 Princess hair routine ✨Wash your hair slowly, massaging the scalp; ✨Do a hair mask or deep hydration once a week; ✨Use finishing products for shine and softness; ✨Try cute hairstyles with bows, clips, or tiaras;

🎀 Healthy, glowy skin ✨Exfoliate face and body once a week; ✨Apply facial masks (clay, honey, or store-bought); ✨Moisturize hands and feet before sleeping; ✨Brush and shape your eyebrows gently;

🎀 Well-groomed nails ✨File and moisturize your cuticles; ✨Use light-colored nail polish, glitter, or a strengthening base; ✨Take time weekly to pamper your nails calmly;

🎀 Body in movement ✨Stretch daily (when you wake up or before bed); ✨Take walks with soft music or an inspiring podcast; ✨Dance in your room to release energy; ✨Do yoga, pilates, or light workouts (10 to 20 minutes);

🎀 Gentle eating habits ✨Eat fresh fruits and colorful meals; ✨Drink water from a cute water bottle; ✨Prepare visually pleasing snacks (yogurt with fruit, decorated sandwiches, etc.); ✨Eat mindfully and without guilt;

🎀 Details ✨Sleep in pretty and comfy pajamas; ✨Maintain good posture, softly and gracefully; ✨Listen to playlists that make you feel like the main character; ✨Wear clothes and accessories that make you smile;

📚🌷 MENTAL GLOW UP 🌷📚

🎀 Intentional reading ✨Choose 1 or 2 books that inspire or move you; ✨Highlight favorite quotes, add sticky notes, write reflections;

🎀 Practical & mental organization ✨Tidy your room with care, making it cozy and personal; ✨Declutter your phone: delete useless apps, duplicate photos, and change your wallpaper; ✨Create a new playlist (study, chill, soft girl, etc.); ✨Make a vision board or visual goals to inspire you;

🎀 Digital detox ✨Limit time on social media daily; ✨Mute distracting notifications; ✨Spend more time offline: reading, writing, or gazing at the sky;

🧸🕯 EMOTIONAL GLOW UP 🕯🧸

🎀 Emotional journaling ✨Write how you feel, honestly and freely; ✨List daily reasons to feel grateful; ✨Write or repeat self-love affirmations;

🎀 Small acts of self-kindness ✨Watch your favorite show or movie with a blanket and tea; ✨Write letters to yourself or your future self; ✨Paint, draw, or write just for pleasure;

🎀 Emotional release ✨Allow yourself to cry and rest without guilt; ✨Avoid comparisons and self-pressure; ✨Meditate, even for just a few minutes; ✨Let go of what no longer serves you;

🌸📸 ROMANTICIZING LIFE 📸🌸

🎀 Sweet everyday rituals ✨Prepare pretty little breakfasts; ✨Make your bed with cozy blankets and plushies; ✨Listen to soft music while tidying your space; ✨Write dreams and wishes in delicate notebooks;

🎀 Photographing life as art ✨Take pictures in cute outfits, with flowers, books, or the sky; ✨Create a mini digital or physical album of special moments; ✨Take self-portraits with a timer — capture your beauty and growth;

🎀 Charming little outings ✨Visit markets, flower shops, bookstores, and cozy cafés; ✨Walk while observing the sky, trees, and people; ✨Sit on the grass to draw, write, or just contemplate; ✨Pick dried flowers and make simple, lovely arrangements;

🎀 Final touches for a main character life ✨Read under soft lighting in a cozy space; ✨Write notes, quotes, or letters in pretty handwriting; ✨Create a diary of photos, feelings, and memories; ✨Make your own “happiness kit” with your favorite things;

💌 Final Tip: You don’t need to change to fit in — you just need to bloom by being yourself. Live intentionally, embrace your details, and treat yourself like someone who deserves the entire world 💗

[danae-inprogress]

A sad update/Where's my glow up?!

At the end of 2024, I chose “glow-up” to be the word, aka the main theme, of the new year. It’s April, and while there’s still a lot of time left in 2025, I want to be honest with you: things are NOT going well right now.

I’m technically out of my toxic job, but that hasn’t made me feel better so far. There are a lot of negative feelings purging, and I guess, it makes sense. For months, I’ve been struggling with severe stress and anxiety that I had to manage so they wouldn’t affect my performance at work.

Right now, all the stress is out, and I’m just… not happy with anything. I’m not happy with the way I look, my eating habits, how I’ve been managing my finances for the last two years or so, the way I spend my free time, how much I procrastinate, and honestly the list of self-pity could go on for a long time.

Last night, I was literally like… where’s my effing glow-up?! The one I’ve been craving for years – and even made it the theme for 2025?

It’s not easy to share these things. But I have to be honest about my glow up journey not going the way I thought it would – at least, so far.

I don’t want to dishearten anyone, but self-improvement is not always an easy process, there are many challenges, and sometimes things are plainly bad. It’s not the end of the world, though, and disappointing you is not the goal of this post. I only wanted to be real with you.

My life feels like a complete mess right now (or I feel like a complete mess?) and I’m trying to fix it. It feels like there are a lot of things to fix and take care of, but I try to remind myself that there is time and I’m on the right track because I’m becoming aware of everything I don’t like and needs a change.

Only some of the things I’m slowly working on:

Be more mindful with the way I spend my money and increase my savings.

Eat healthier and less processed foods.

Procrastinate less, so I can spend more time creating, reading, and learning.

Take care of my house, tidy, declutter, and change things I don’t like.

Normally, I’m a person who tries to work on many things at the same time, and this doesn’t help as well since I always end up burning out. So, I’d really like to take it slow this time.

So, yeah, I’ve been almost a week out of my job, and this is how things are going so far. I know it’s not the best update, but at least it’s a honest one. Soon, things will hopefully feel a little better.  

[ralkana]

Thursday's numbers! (Explanation of challenge here.)

Long day at work. And then I came home and cooked, and a friend is staying for the holiday weekend, so not much decluttering time. Mostly, it was just sorting through groups of things I'd gathered up but needed sorting or washing.

Here are 8 more shirts to donate.

Hey, look. More jewelry. 7 sets or pieces of jewelry to donate.

3 pieces of jewelry-related trash.

4 more linens/towels for the animal shelter.

3 funko pops for friends and 2 items a friend is taking home - a clipboard that got mixed in with my stuff last summer and a candle I don't like.

9 random items to trash from around the living room.

8 + 7 + 3 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 9 = 36. I pulled the 7 post-it.

The running total is 5,498. Aw, man! I should've found 2 more things!

Well, I hit the goal I wanted, which was 5,490 - 3X the original goal of 1,830. That's a HUGE number and I'm very happy with that.

The next logical goal is 6K, but I honestly don't know if I'll hit it. I want to spend the last few days cleaning up the areas I've decluttered, where there are stacks and piles of donations, and bags of trash and recycling that need to at least be taken out to the garage if I can't fit them in the bins. Given the hard work I've done, I want to be able to see the changes, and I want to take some pics because I want you all to see the changes too. You've been along with me on this challenge, which I appreciate SO MUCH, and I want to share the results!

So we'll just see how it goes!

[gemmahale]

Y’all will never guess what I just found as I worked through tidying and decluttering the back room.

….if you guessed “more yarn; mostly mini skeins” you’d be correct. I’ll give you points for any iteration of that.

This plan might be on hold. (It should be, honestly.)

Hopefully in 2025 I can bring myself to stash down and share the fiber joy with other folks. (I’ll spend Q4 finalizing my collection and organization and such.)

And stop being inspired by new colors and patterns. That one needs to happen.

[drdemonprince]

How do you feel about “weaponized incompetence”

I see a lot of people talking about it, and I know it can definitely be a thing that people do purposefully, but so many things that fall under the umbrella seem like things that some neurodivergent people tend to struggle with.

I don't think a person needs to be consciously or intentionally weaponizing incompetence in order to leverage it for their benefit. Due to forces like systemic sexism, sometimes a weaponized incompetence dynamic plays out without anybody meaning it to.

Now of course, weaponized incompetence is absolutely a dynamic that some people deliberately create (famously, a husband or boyfriend knowingly washing the dishes poorly so his partner never asks him to do it again), but more often than not, it's the byproduct of capitalist overwork and alienation meeting sexist norms that play out on an intuitive level rather than some malicious, evil plan.

My ex-partner absolutely benefitted from weaponized incompetence; he was also almost certainly an undiagnosed ADHDer who was struggling, and not a bad guy. From my perspective, it didn't matter. I still ended up having to pay the bills, sign us up for all the utilities, figure out a new place to live three different times when our rent went up, hire the movers, remind him to get a new ID when his old one was expired and we had a flight coming up, find him a dentist when his tooth was aching, help him write emails for his work when he first got a job, ask him to clean things rather than being able to trust he would contribute, make all the decisions regarding decluttering the house, take care of our pet, etc etc etc.

He deserved more help than he ever got, as a (very likely) disabled person living under capitalism. But I also covered him and shouldered his life burdens in a way that made me miserable and offloaded a lot of his responsibilities onto me. It drove me nuts and made me dysphoric to admit it, but a large part of how we wound up in that dynamic was systemic sexism, because he was a cishet man and I wasn't.

All that said, and my considerable real-life biases having been put on the table, I do think it's the case that many disabled people are unfairly accused of 'weaponizing incompetence' when all that they've done is express a limitation as clearly as they possibly could, which ought to be a good thing. There is nothing wrong or manipulative with asking for help, or for articulating what you are and are not capable of as honestly as you can. (And this honest communication piece was absent in the relationship I am describing; he wouldn't even acknowledge that he wasn't and could not contribute to maintaining a life together in any practical way. When I tried to name that dynamic, he would shut down, walk away, say things were going to change without any plan for how that might happen, etc).

In much the same way that an excited Autistic person who is infodumping or communicating super clearly in order to be helpful can be unfairly branded a "mansplainer", lots of disabled people are seen unfairly as manipulative, lying about their limitations, taking advantage of other people, lazy, and weaponizing incompetence.

The trope of the fake disabled person who is just gaming the system cuts deep. It's pervasive and it's responsible for a lot of social problems that disabled people face, from impossibly difficult benefits applications programs, to cruel teachers who refuse to provide the accommodations to which their students are entitled, to abusive and neglectful partners who fail to meet their disabled loved one's needs. Arguably I even was one of those partners, even if I did have genuine reasons for grievance and very real disabilities of my own.

The reality is that the lines between all these things can be blurred, as a person's intent and their impact can be wildly different. people who are doing their best can still leverage sexism and leave a partner feeling taken advantage of. And a partner who feels taken advantage of can have real reasons for feeling that way and can also still be ableist, or even cruel and unfair to their disabled loved one. it's tough.

Thanks for the great question, it is one I think about a lot for obvious reasons.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

What 2025 looks like vaguely

I gotta get this hip shit figured out. My bad hip is still aching daily, and I am definitely spending more time doing the PT exercises that move the joint back into place than I used to. Had to do it first thing this morning, in fact, because I woke up and a spot in my foot ached that only aches when there's referred pain from my hip. The good news, the exercises did the job. The bad news, that's the third or fourth time this week I've needed to do those exercises. So, I have to get that shit unfucked.

I also have to call the radiology clinic to schedule for the follow-up to the special mammogram/ultrasound because my boob meat shifted after surgery, and now there's a spot that looks iffy via the regular mammogram. I did the first round of the special testing and basically disassociated the whole time (I have PTSD around any sort of cancer shit), and this is just the follow-up. But I just got the final part of the billing from last time figured out right before the holidays, and then the holidays, so now I have to call them to set the appointment. Then I have to call my GP to schedule the annual that got cancelled on me several weeks ago that they were supposed to call to reschedule but haven't, and I also need them to reset my portal password so I can actually get the referral information for the ADHD testing that I tried to set up last year, but then forgot about for months at a time because to get the info, I'd have to call the clinic for the password reset, and I had the boob scare and now the hip pain increasing so it's been hard to focus on the whole 'need to set up testing for a whole new fucking thing'.

No joking about how ADHD vibing that story is. Sean has it covered (he has ADHD, so he fucking knows).

Anyway, that's the health shit that isn't 'need to find a therapist again' because look, I can only do this shit one or two bits at a time, and I'll knock out three things at once (boob check, hip referral, testing) by making the first phone call, then making the second phone call, so let's just put a pin in a therapist until I've had my delayed annual.

House-wise, we have decided to stay where we are. We did like the townhouse we saw a whole lot and we could absolutely swing the rent increase no problem. But if we stay where we are, we get to stay in the neighborhood we like very much and the rent increase even going to a month-to-month lease is still noticeably less than what the new place would be. Sean's going to dedicate some time to researching how the fuck one buys a house or condo or just a dwelling, let's say. And we're going to focus on decluttering and also upgrading some of our furniture. We don't have an issue with keeping things we don't want, but we do have an issue with keeping things neat and like, dusted. So, that's the focus. Cleaning and dusting and being realistic about what stays in the house. I've actually gotten pretty good at going through my stuff every few months and removing things I realize I really don't want anymore, but with our limited storage options in the apartment, it's kind of an ongoing battle. Getting rid of all my heels last year helped a lot. The shoe storage hanger in the office is no longer needed, so that space feels slightly larger, which is nice. But there's yarn and books and jewelry that all need sorting, and we want to replace the coffee table and my side table with options made of real wood.

There's a vintage furniture place we love that also does custom builds with a mid-century vibe. We replaced my previous desk with a custom-sized desk from them, and they also do coffee tables that you can just grab up off their show floor if they're the right size. The side table will have to be a custom order because I want basically what I have but longer, so I need it to be a very particular height. Honestly, I may just deal with a pile of notebooks and crochet hooks for a few weeks and just take them the current side table to build against. It's not as cheap as hitting Ikea (and we love Ikea), but it's also built of solid wood and metal legs, so it'll last forever, and the designs are clean, which I love.

We also have con in March, as always. Very much excited for that. Currently no other travel plans, and after the intentional trip down south for a visit last year, then us traveling together in July and then Sean having to go alone at the top of December for the grandparent funerals, I'm happy to stay close to home as long as possible.

Bean's got to get a teeth cleaning, which we're planning for in April, most likely. Our wedding anniversary is in May, and I think I wanna either plan a proper Staycation or maybe spend a weekend up the mountain or out at the Gorge. That's all still loose and does not require effort at the moment. Honestly, until after con, I don't need to put any hard thought into any plans. Con is fucking awesome and also a LOT. I can't wait but also it's about a two-week recovery time after just from the casual social aspect of being surrounded by people the whole time.

Anyway, that's 2025 to start. There's crochet plans, but let's be real: that's a whole different post.

[444princesa]

things i have done this month to prep for january

i decided to act on my new years goals in december instead of january to get a kick start so come january, my goals are already becoming habits.

now lets go to what i have done:

started working out or moving my body everyday for at least 45 minutes. i aim for 2 hrs of walking which equals to 10k steps and stretching for 10-25 minutes. i find that this has boosted my energy levels and i really feel good but i also do other workouts like taebo if walking isnt doing it for me.

eating cleaner and making my own meals. im not a super unhealthy person but i did indulge alot which i knew wasnt good and i regretted it right after. eating unhealthy foods made me feel so groggy, heavy, bloated and just BAD. i started to cook my meals and eating more whole foods. i still indulge but in moderation. drinking a ton of water throughout the day and eating veggies or fruits before and after a meal really changed my body for the better.

doing my skincare. i was lazy about my skincare like i didnt put on sunscreen everyday and i didt take good care of it. now my skin isnt bad and i never struggled with it but i knew skincare would benefit me in the long run, plus its a nice way to incorporate self care daily. i started to do my AM and PM skincare everyday and it has been such a luxury to do.

decluttering and organizing. i have been decluttering like a MANIAC this month. it has been so freeing to get rid of anything that i do not need. i have decluttered my whole space so i am ready for the new year.

living more slowly. now this wont last but i am currently on break so i honestly have alot more time. i don't wake up super early as i did and i dont make my day so jam packed that i never have time to do simple things for myself. i sleep in (which is waking up at 8am lol, im more of a morning person) and it feels nice not having structure to my day at the moment. its odd honestly because i am a person that plans her month, week, and day no matter what but this semester really drained me so i needed to give myself time to be lazy. BUT i do want to go back on a schedule come january because i cannot live this freely for a long time, that is just not me haha.

not much preparation but it has helped me to start fresh come the new year. i mainly have been enjoying life, workout, cook, clean and organize. i know when january comes my life will get busy because of school and life. i wanted to get a few things into habits like skincare, workout, eating better, taking time to relax, which i feel i have gotten that down. these were things i struggled with on a daily and practicing that everyday for nearly a month has made me feel better but also it has been part of my routine now. i do have more goals i know i can do daily which i will share later on.

[viviennemaeve]

𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛, 𝙾𝚗 𝙼𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚍: 𝙰 𝚁𝚊𝚠 𝙳𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝙱𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚎

Chapter 1:

The First Time You Realized Your Body Was Being Watched

It starts young. For some, it’s the aunt who pinches your cheeks and tells you not to eat too many laddoos or you'll get “healthy.” For others, it’s the media showing you that "hot" means size zero, thigh gaps, flawless skin, abs, and hip bones that look like weapons. It doesn’t matter if you’re in India or Iceland—the world’s obsession with the “ideal body” finds you.

Suddenly, you’re no longer just living in your body. You’re managing it. Editing it. Apologizing for it. Dressing it to make it look “smaller,” “bigger,” “curvier,” “slimmer.”

You’re performing.

And no one handed you a script, but you knew what your role was supposed to be:

Be beautiful. But make it effortless. And definitely don’t complain.

Chapter 2:

The Inner Critic is Loud, Rude, and Always Online

Body image isn’t just what you see in the mirror—it’s the perception you’ve built over years, influenced by family, media, comparison, and let’s be honest, trauma.

It’s not always rational. It doesn’t care if you’re healthy. It doesn’t care if people compliment you. Body image is what you tell yourself when no one is watching.

It’s the whisper that says, “You’d be prettier if…”

It’s the scroll through social media that ends in, “Why don’t I look like that?”

It’s the photo you untag, the angle you avoid, the clothes you won’t wear even though you love them.

And it’s exhausting.

Because every single day, you’re trying to negotiate with a part of your brain that was never meant to be your enemy.

Chapter 3:

The Body Isn’t the Problem. Society’s Lens Is.

Let’s be real: standards change faster than fashion trends. What was “in” in 2005 is now demonized. Remember heroin chic? Now we want “slim thick.” The Kardashians switched from promoting waist trainers to doing pilates in Paris.

The goalposts of beauty are constantly shifting—and we’re made to feel like we are the problem for not keeping up.

Capitalism thrives on your insecurity.

So does the fitness industry, the fashion world, even some doctors.

But your body is not a trend. It’s not an aesthetic. It’s the vessel that carries you through life. It breathes, creates, heals, fights, holds trauma, holds joy, and holds memories. It’s sacred. It’s yours.

Chapter 4:

Healing Isn’t Linear (And Sometimes It’s a Damn Rollercoaster)

Let’s not pretend this is easy. You can do mirror affirmations, unfollow every model on Instagram, and still have days where you feel like garbage. That’s okay. Healing body image is like decluttering a house you’ve lived in for decades. You’re bound to find some dust.

Here’s what helps, even when you don’t believe it yet:

• Speak to yourself like you would to a friend.

If you wouldn’t call your bestie a “fat failure,” don’t say it to your damn self.

• Stop waiting to live your life.

Wear the outfit. Take the picture. Swim in the pool. Dance at the wedding. You don’t need to “earn” joy.

• Curate your feed.

If someone’s posts make you feel like trash, mute them. Replace with body-neutral, diverse, or joyful creators.

• Get back into your body.

Dance, stretch, walk, do yoga, breathe. Not to burn calories—but to connect with this beautiful, bizarre, resilient machine that is your body.

• Therapy.

Honestly, if you can access it, therapy is gold. Especially if you deal with disordered eating or body dysmorphia. You don’t have to carry this alone.

Chapter 5:

Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality vs. Body Liberation

Let’s decode these real quick:

Body Positivity says: Love your body no matter what.

But some days, that feels fake, right?

Body Neutrality says: You don’t have to love it, just respect it.

It’s more chill, more sustainable.

Body Liberation says: Your worth has NOTHING to do with how your body looks. Let’s dismantle the whole system.

It’s the revolutionary big sister of the movement.

Pick whatever feels right. You don’t have to force joy every day. Some days survival is the victory.

Chapter 6:

Your Body Isn’t Ruined—It’s Lived In

Stretch marks? Life happened.

Cellulite? Literally 90% of women have it.

Acne, scars, bloating, belly rolls? Baby, those are human features, not flaws.

Your body doesn’t need to be smaller, smoother, tighter, or “corrected” to be beautiful. You’re not a before-and-after story. You’re a full damn novel.

And newsflash: you’re already enough.

Right now.

Without the glow-up. Without the transformation reel. Without the filter.

Chapter 7:

The Delulu Ending (That’s Lowkey Realistic Too)

Imagine this:

You wake up, look in the mirror, and smile—not because you look perfect, but because you look like you. You put on clothes that feel like freedom. You take photos and don’t overthink the angles. You eat what you want, move how you want, love who you want, and stop giving a damn what people think of your body. You realize the world lied to you—but now you’re reclaiming the truth.

That kind of peace? It’s not delusional.

It’s the most rebellious thing you can do.

Final Word from Someone Who’s Also Working On Herself:

Body image isn’t a destination. It’s a relationship. Some days you fight, some days you flirt, some days you hold hands and strut through life like the icons you are.

Just don’t ghost yourself in the process.

You’re not a project.

You’re a f**king masterpiece. In progress. With glitter.

[lifestyle-hub]

A Beginners Guide on Minimalism, in a Consumer-Driven Society

Image Credit: Goes to me!

Stay on your toes, like they're cold ice cubes below (did you vibe to that line!! Don't you think I'll be an awesome rap artiste..... just kidding) I've been watching too much rap battles lately. Back to our topic 👇

Minimalism sounds great, but how do you embrace it when everything around you promotes more stuff? Let's try easy steps to simplify your life, shall we?

What is Minimalism?

For starters, it isn’t about owning the least, it’s about focusing on what adds value to your life and cutting out the excess. It’s intentional living, choosing to keep what serves a purpose or brings you joy, and letting go of the rest.

But you might say, “I love a lot of stuff”.....let's start here.

Step 1: Find Your “Why”

Before you start, ask yourself why you want to embrace minimalism. Is it to reduce stress, save money, or gain more time? Understanding your reason will help you stay motivated through the process.

Step 2: Start Small

Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to declutter your entire house at once. Begin with one area, a drawer, a closet, or your desk. Hold each item and ask:

• Do I use this regularly?

• Does it improve my life?

If the answer is no, let it go. Donate, sell, or recycle what you no longer need.

Step 3: Adopt the One-In-One-Out Rule

For every new item you bring into your life, remove an old one. This rule prevents clutter from creeping back in and encourages mindful purchasing.

Step 4: Curb Impulse Shopping

Honestly, we live in a world filled with sales and promotions, it’s easy to make impulse purchases. Before buying, ask yourself; Do I really need this? Can I wait 30 days? Trust me, you'll often find that you don’t need it as much as you thought.

Step 5: Focus on Experiences, Not Things

Minimalism shifts your focus from possessions to experiences. Instead of buying more stuff, invest in experiences like a trip, a new hobby, or a memorable day with loved ones. These moments often bring more lasting joy than material things.

Step 6: Set Boundaries with Shopping

Consumer culture thrives on getting you to buy more. Set boundaries by unsubscribing from retail newsletters, limiting online shopping, or setting a spending cap. These small shifts keep you in control.

Minimalism Doesn't Just Happen Automatically

Minimalism isn’t a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process of choosing what matters. By starting small, you can build habits that simplify your life and reduce stress. Minimalism looks different for everyone, so find your rhythm, stay mindful, and remember it’s about making space for what truly matters.

I'll be talking about the digital aspect of Minimalism very soon. Stay frosty!

Signing out, kad

References

Becker, Joshua. The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own

Kondo, Marie. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Millburn, Joshua & Nicodemus, Ryan. The Minimalists: Live a Meaningful Life

[stevishabitat]

So, crazy thing happened. I have a kiddo, age 12 - whom I love dearly - and I've been single parenting for five years now. And for the first time, I was able to convince kiddo's other parent to have kiddo at their house for longer than a weekend. So for the first time in 12 years I've been alone for longer than 3 consecutive days.

Now, I have been working, so it's not really a vacation, but damn if it doesn't feel like it. Kiddo even decided to go to the grandparents house after getting back in town, so I'm now on day 15 of Alone Time.

And y'all, I have had no less than four fandom hyperfixations come back to me.

I'm so sorry for the deluge of Daredevil, Carnival Row, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Star Trek I've now got in my queue. But it's like I finally had the mental and emotional bandwidth to enjoy some stuff.

I have literally been putting off some shows and movies for years because I didn't think I could properly enjoy them. I'd put carnival Row S2 on hold, hadn't watched Picard past S1, had literally blocked tags for POTC since the release of movie #5... eight years ago 😭.

And these past two weeks, the floodgates have opened. I am back on ALL the bullshit.And tbh, if kiddo decides to stay with the grandparents a few more days, I may very well watch the last few episodes of Doctor Who, before that ends up in the black hole where my hyperfixations go to die.

Kiddo and I had reached a point where both of our mental health was just a hot mess, and we needed a break, and kiddo needed a break from the kids on the street

(you know when summer starts and you spend all day, every day with your friends and eventually you get sick of each other and all of the games get boring and you end up bickering nonstop because you're bored? Yeah. That's were kiddo was when I finally called parent #2 and said, idc if you can't take time off work kiddo is old enough to be home alone, please let us have a break from this rut.)

So anyway.... Apologies for the fandom bullshit. I'm trying to space some of it out a bit. But honestly I'm taking this as a good sign for my mental wellbeing. I fucking knocked out a decently-constructed fic for the first time in probably 15 years. And I've read some shit too. All while doing a bunch of cleaning and decluttering around the house that hasn't been done in ages. And getting reasonable amounts of sleep. I bleached my hair last night while watching POTC, and a jar of dye is arriving today 💜💜💜

I may still be a functional human being after all.

[ralkana]

Thursday's numbers! (Explanation of challenge here.)

(Note: Second Friday post. Forgot to post Wednesday's numbers yesterday, so I posted them shortly before this post.)

I worked in another plant than mine yesterday, and even though the traffic was light, I had to leave very early. So I got home early, and I should've done more decluttering, but I was tired, and I had to force myself to do anything.

First, I got some boxes ready for donations, so I broke down some packing material. I have some fragile stuff to donate, though, so I think I'm going to keep the bag of foam til next week, in case I need it for packing donations. But, 16 pieces of packing material to recycle.

Then I did a quick run through the hutch in the big dining room, which is filled with glassware we used to use when we hosted thirty to thirty to forty family members for Thanksgiving every year. I have to figure out what I'm going to do with the masses of wine glasses and champagne flutes, but I did a quick cull of 12 pieces of glassware and vases.

Then, I cleared out the bottom shelf of one of the few remaining cabinets in the kitchen that I haven't yet decluttered. It's a bottom corner cabinet and very deep, and this was the bottom shelf, so it required my long grabber tool to get everything. Got 10 things to donate and 5 items to trash.

In the kitchen, that just leaves two top shelves that I can't easily reach, and one shelf in a lower cabinet, all of which are also full of glasses, cups, and dishes for entertaining three dozen people. Ugh. What do I do with that much stuff, you guys?

So, 16 + 12 + 10 + 5 = 43. Not a great night, honestly, but better than nothing. It's going to get harder as these days wind down. The numbers on the remaining post-its are smaller, but my goal is still large and looming! I'm gonna try, though!

I pulled the 19 post-it. The running total is 4,563.