#which makes me not wanna clean my room | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

linogram · 8 months ago

Text

and all the advice assumes that i have clothes strewn abt my room and trash all over the place and that if i pick up just those things, my room will be like 90% cleaner, when i have those things under control and the next advice is just "everything needs a place" which is good in theory, but doesnt help me when to me "on top of the clutter of my desk" = "a place"

every time i get the motivation to clean my room im immediately reminded of how i just dont have enough storage space for all my stuff and then i lose the motivation

#honestly just need to declutter #but its hard when i look at things and go 'huh yeah i could use this later!'#like i have an entire box of recycled shipping materials bc i do pc trades sometimes #and why would i throw put perfectly good cardboard and have to buy more?#but its such a big box and takes up so much room #i will not be throwing it out tho #farthest ive gotten recently is to sort into piles of art supplies music and kpop #bc 99% of things in my room fit into one of those #also bc i see ppl talk abt bugs #im kinda scared ill find some #which makes me not wanna clean my room

2 notes · View notes

seventh-district · 2 months ago

Text

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

#normal Saturday morning behavior #redacted spoilers #redacted audio #redacted sam #Seven.txt #rp audio stuff #well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold #and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet #eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info #bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts #which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn #like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared #anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort #and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way #but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time #when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm #i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me #then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad #but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d #hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share #but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope #which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually #anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time #Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something #*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow

15 notes · View notes

gay-fordeath · 5 months ago

Text

.

#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho #bro i cant keep living like this #i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep #i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not #i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough #i get headaches every other day #my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company #i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries #which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever #and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability #in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL #AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL #do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn #i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it #its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation #fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever #but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that #but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work #from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space #theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped #i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them #i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without #fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and #overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck

2 notes · View notes

nat-20s · 2 years ago

Text

Logically I know that you shouldn't do creative work (such as a podcast) in order to become a peer with other creatives but also like oooooo there are so many creatives I'd love to actually interact with oooo I'd love to collab on something OOOOO I would love to have a voice actor that I know from another podcast in my own podcast

#me looking at however the fuck hero and dom became friends and have that whole fun thing going on: god i wish that were me #google search do think one of the two genre fiction podcasts i wanna make someday would bring in hero #do you think it would pspspsps at them #i mean one of them is uh. from what i hear similar in premise to malevolent #which is a: unfortunate for me bc i had the idea long before that podcast but i now worry it will come across as an imitation #and b: also unfortunate bc it means i cant listen to malevolent specifically so it doesnt seem like im trying to do a redux #:(#what is so wrong with wanting to write and voice and a podcast about dealing with your (literal) inner demon #anyway huh these tags have gotten long #tldr i need to WRITE babey i just have to uhh. clean my room and get down to like ten library checkouts and then i do think #i can write again

31 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

Text

...

#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just #feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives #function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty #god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student #so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self #destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure #rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done #but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry #and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen #ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i #didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there #i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a #wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell #unrelated

7 notes · View notes

nomaishuttle · 2 years ago

Text

y roommate broguht a friend over like almost entirely unannounced (sent a text 1 minute b4 they came in the door) and like normally id be like Its fine dw but i was cooking down here and i havent cleaned yet and in the middle of eating so i cant just be like . i cant just leave bc itd seem like im like ewww my roommate. but also rheyre VERY VERY loudly talking abt sex which again is fine but alsl i literally dont know the friend and im not like in the convo at all but theyre just like. talking abt it in th living room and they cn like see me they know im here so i dont wanna be like Omg can you shut up but also like. i feel creepy for listening in but also i was down here and they just came in discussing it so idk

#incredibly awkward moment #and idm jusr like yk Talkjng abt it they were like play by plays #so im just like okie . erm #AND I CANT GO UPSTAIRS BC THE KITCHEN IS A MESS BC I WAS CLEANING AND J WANTED TO DEEPCLEAN IT BUT IF MY ROOMMATES HOME I GET SCARED SIGH #like my roommates r so nice i rly wanna be friends but straight up parallel play where i Dont know the other person is the wordt thing on #fucking earth 2 me. i cannot just be doing stuff and somebody i dont know well can just see me . yk . like explodes #i love love normie parallel play i love just being in the same room as ppl i know but when i dont know ppl i get so freaked out abt the #entire way my whole body moves . and then i get so tense abt it that i start knocking things over which makes them look at mr more so ita #ll gets worse. AND ITS LITERALLY MY DAULT AND MY NEUROSES AND I NEED T GET OVER IT . BUT MAN. EXPLODES

2 notes · View notes

altruistic-meme · 2 years ago

Text

I'M NOW NERVOUS BUT I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING

#ok ok ok ok ok so basically I've been watching the apartment that i want to move into in the complex's website to make sure it was still #available and to watch the price (bc in the like month or two it went from around $1000 to $898 which is. amazing.)#and i have the apartment people coming to my house tomorrow afternoon to do a walk through of my current apartment #to make sure i didn't ya know destroy the place so they can approve me to transfer #but now the apartment i wanna move to is NOT ON THE WEBSITE ANYMORE #and i DON'T KNOW WHEN IT WAS TAKEN DOWN bc i hadn't been checking this last week or so #so I'm hoping it's just bc they expect the walkthrough to go well and for me to be approved so they room it down so others don't apply???#and not that ya know someone else got it while i was trying to get to this point #i don't assume that second one bc i only scheduled the walk through literally yesterday #so HOPEFULLY it's the first option #and they just think it'll all be fine (and it SHOULD all be fine idk why it wouldn't be)#but yeah #I'm anxious about it anyway :')#i also gave to speed clean my apartment right after work bc i never actually finished it and now I'm out of time fjskckkskfk #shh ac

4 notes · View notes

imeminemp3 · 2 years ago

Text

oh i got 3 compliments on my nails at social anxiety group tonight🥺🥺

#also i finally got to talk to the other girl* who's actually in the group #one of the compliments was from her and the others from one of the. um idk what you call them. ladies training to be psychiatrists #part of the appeal of these nails is the are 3d so they are very tactile #also im realising that the autism is also making the Getting Over Social Anxiety hard #bc the social anxiety def came from the autism so. there's things i just don't do and im very adamant about not changing them but #like #eye contact and such. im never going to do that and i think tahts OK!#sorry these tags are like. getting in depth. BUT #ive been like. performing societal norms super hard lately which is not good for my mental health like im out here making a gazillion #facial expressions a day bc idk im stressed outta my mind! idk!#i really need to get my therapist to understand that i am fucked up in a way bc last time I saw her (last week) i said i vaccuumed my room #and she was like wow ur doing gr8! nvm the fact that i still had piles of washing and so much shit to still Pu away #i did clean my room fully tho tonight bc my sister is coming over tmr #but that's bc i wanna set a good example #incentives don't seem to work on her 13yo brain but they do for me! but as i said she's coming over tmr and since im going str8 from work #to pick her up ive left it up til the LAST MINUTE lmfao #but. i did it #OK guys sayonara I'm going to read these tags to my therapist next time i see her tho #diary

2 notes · View notes

shiningstages · 2 years ago

Text

Me lookin' at my lil content: d'aaaaaaaw it's so cute~

I wanted to do stuff before work, but I like blanked out since I'm sleepy (went to bed around 1? 2?? then woke up at 7:11; not terrible but not like Great) then did my required stretchies / looked up stuff for things~ Tomorrow I have my last PT session and follow-up, and then I plan on cleaning my room / generally just chilling out since it has been Forever, but now...I will try and schedule in time for OC thoughts today and tomorrow (still have to decide if Atlas would be primal or astral...and maybe compare some story stuff to make sure it's not stepping on any Canon toes...but maybe we also don't care about that second bit ghffjghfgvcccgkhf).

#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( i think...i'm gonna try and schedule my hair cut too. either saturday or next thursday #i love my long flowy hair but i've getting that feeling of just...can't take it anymore ghfjcghfcgkhgcjgv #BUT it's also supposed to get colder so i may wimp out because this hair Protects Me #i also have to talk with my workman's comp doc about specific restriction papers my store director gave me tomorrow (fear)#i don't really like feeling less useful at work; but i also have just accepted that i need to take care of myself #i'm hoping nothing Too Big happens with that because i still wanna bank a lot of money before going back to school #but also a tiny bit less hours a week (since i work around 37-39 rn) would be nice...maybe even an extra day off...more me time #in other news i've also had many vtuber thoughts GFDHGFHGFHJFGHF #the only important one is...accepting that i should just kind of Do It. instead of actively thinking of where i wanna be; if that makes #any sense #and wars gave me Big Incentive to clean my room in like a non-vtuber way; but also just like...the motivation!!! the hype!!!#i have a lot of steps in my mind to do my creative stuff; but my room Must be clean #not that all my stuff isn't on my dad's very nice desk but...i don't want any potential pc i buy to be there #it would be so much better environment-wise (aka not being in my kitchen where my dad always is and near the living room #where my bro always streams) plus it's a two-way street of i don't want to disturb them either #i thought about cleaning my mom's office but she literally told me no because she wants to clean it all herself #which her being like “i have to be the one to go through everything when cleaning” is just...i see where i get my attitude #BUT ANYWAYS #i need to get ready for work gfhgjfjgfhgkjgfcghfg being the closer so much is so tiring;;#hopefully tonight is good and i don't have to have Drama and anyone who freaks out )

2 notes · View notes

r4inbowv0lt · 5 months ago

Text

god gives his toughest battles (going to sleep on time) to his weakest soldiers (ME)

#🌈 ✦ txt #🌧️ ✦ venting #<- cuz it got suddenly real sad up there in my head lol #can someone tell me to go to sleep mayhaps?#went to sleep yesterday at like 4-5 am.. don't wanna do that again help #that was so unhealhty #but im not a caretaker in the sys i suck at taking care of myself #& i don't have my nest here w/ my mom #so i can't exactly get comfy in my nest & go to sleep :(#i mean- i could try n make one but it wouldn't have the same cozy effect cuz my room is an absolute mess and it just makes me sad #which my room at my dad's is not #so i get way happier when going in my nest at my dad's #ive lived in this home w / my mom for a long time now and as a stupid kid i let it get really bad and now i just really don't know where to #start to clean it up #but we haven't lived in the current home of my dad for that long so it hasn't been able to get that bad #ive always been able to tidy it up before it gets bad #so now i just kinda feel both bad and good when im in my bed at my mom's #wow sorry for all that #maybe i should put #vent #vent post

0 notes

cryptidapprentice · 5 months ago

Text

eep!

#cryptic ramblings #in the tags #feelinggggg a little bit neglected by me irl friend group 😖#just like. every time i say smthn/yap a lil i dont tend to get much acknowledgement??#vs the other two will always get some kinda acknowledgement etc both from me and the other (theres 3 of us)#idk im hoping its my pre-period bs talking n overanalyzing things but like... idk #bc its like. we're all stressed bc of our jobs n like other stuff #n we all share w eachother! abt those stressors! n we sympathize n offer advice n help where necessary!#like these r my Best Friends. theyd both be my Co-Smthn Of Honor when i get married!!! so i dont wanna assume smthn negative abt em yk??#but i just... yknow... feel a lil... blergh #like neglected is kinda too strong but just like.. im kinda annoying??? bothersome maybe??? idk #like if uve seen some of my other tags ive been stressed tf out over cleaning my room bc i had a certain deadline (which was today)#n last night was the worst of my stress but it was the most id done n i shared this w them but another one of em shared some their own stuff #n we all responded to them while i did not get anything n it made me feel a bit ignored 🥴#n ik i should prob bring this up to them but like i also dont wanna guilt them into feeling likr they HAVE to respond to everything i send!!#bc sometimes i rly Do Be sending just stuff tht doesnt rly require a response like truly #n i get just not rly having anything to say either so mmmmmm idk #def think im overthinking it all n my dumb pms hormones or w/e are making me overreact as a result but i just wanted to vent a bit #get it off my chest. yk how it is #(i also hope this isnt the One Time one of em decides to hop onto tumblr after YEARS of not using it 🥴🥴)#IM the resident tumblrite so itd be quite a coinkydink if one of em hopped on outta nowhere 😖#...anyways... yeah thats p much it)#i love em!!! i dont think i could Not Love Em!!! but my brain's just bein rejection-sensitive or smthn #n taking the lack of responses twrd my shit as Rejections ig #is wack #end of vent. thanks if u read all this lol

0 notes

h-ypno · 6 months ago

Text

🍅 :3c

#i want self control! I wanna make my bed every morning and clean my room and put things away so i can have a clean room #its getting easier snd easier every day but its still hard to do the doing part #i have things i wanna bring out from storage and hopefully ill be able to when my roommate moves out #he made a post on facebook about losing hosuing which is... 🤔🤔🤔 i never said i was kicking him out....#hes such an unpleasent man like hes 10 years older then me n cant clean up after himself or pay rent or even take care of his cat #i have to do all that #which.#well I'll just leave it at that.#i do understand that he has a tough life and tough bills which he got cornered into #i just dont think im the rich sugar daddy who can come and save him like he clearly needs. Cuz he needs help #im just being dragged down wkth him #hes helpped me get to work which is good. hopefully ill get a drivers licence soon #save about 3000 for a cashcar n things will be golden!

0 notes

megumiluvv · 5 months ago

Text

Toji’s furious. If he were a cartoon, steam would be blowing from his ears. Why, you ask? Megumi threw up all over his work shirt. And, to add to the issue, you’re not here. His other work shirts are still being washed, work is in twenty minutes, and he has to leave in five.

The baby stares at his father and coos. Toji looks at Megumi and huffs in frustration.

“You could’ve puked after I left, you know… Maybe on your mother, no?”

Megumi just stares at the man, reaching for his nose.

“Hey! Brat…” Toji mumbles as you walk into the room.

“Hey, what- oh my god.” You laugh and grab a towel, wiping his shirt off.

“Damn kid puked all over my shirt, Shiu’s gonna be mad.”

“Shiu’s going to have to deal with it, the other shirts aren’t clean yet.”

Toji groans as you take Megumi and coo to the baby. “Can’t believe my luck…”

“You’re so pouty. You’re gonna be late.”

“Well, I can’t wear this.”

“You wanna wear one of my shirts?”

“Hah! And make Shiu laugh more?”

You giggle and roll your eyes, grabbing a hoodie.

“Woman, it is 100 degrees outside, you want me to wear a hoodie?”

“God, you’re so picky for a man who doesn’t have the time to.”

You grab an old shirt of his.

“…Fine.”

“Finally.” You huff and toss it to him, kissing him quickly. “You’re gonna be late, go.”

“Yeah, yeah, make sure the brat’s diaper is changed.” He says while changing and walking out the door.

“I know how to take care of our kid, Toji!” You call out and roll your eyes, looking down to your son. “Some guy, huh?”

Megumi coos and tugs on your hair, which you just giggle at.

“Good job, gumi bear. Throw up on him again and you’ll have the best Christmas gifts.”

Masterlist

#toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji fluff #jjk #jjk toji #jjk toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro fluff #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #fushiguro megumi #baby gumi

7K notes · View notes

raeathnos · 11 months ago

Text

.

#my nerves are so bad my parents are not helping holy shit #my dad’s starting like a million tasks in the past half hour and I’m over here like ‘we need to leave soon pls stop????’#and my mom is using me as her fucking therapist as always #she is retired and owns a home and is financially stable #but she’s telling me I can’t understand how stressed she is over having the house clean (it is)#and that she’s more stressed than I am about my job interview #which like #I need to make more money I can’t afford anything #but pls tell me how I have nothing to stress about #I wanna scream #I am trying to focus on interview questions in my head and I think I’ve got them down #this is my first interview in years #it’s the first legit one I’ve gotten since I started job hunting 3 months ago #the first 3 interviews were bogus- 1st ghosted me and 2nd+3rd weren’t legit and were trafficking schemes I think #‘don’t apply on indeed send your application to this address’#which I thought was just showing that you knew how to read and follow instructions maybe #nope! the one wanted to do an interview in a motel room and told me to come alone (ha not falling for that)#and the other gave me address that was an abandoned building with broken windows and all and also wanted me to come alone #like #it’s been so frustrating and the fact that they can’t understand that because ‘but you have a job!’#yeah and they treat me like crap and the pay is crap and they’re constantly trying to ignore my work accommodation #i need something that pays more and is full time and has benefits #and they literally don’t fucking get it #okay vent over #did not need that pent up during the interview #wish me luck guys ahhhhhhhhhhhh

1 note · View note

reminem69 · 1 year ago

Text

I'm so tired

#i need to clean the apartment and i need to clean my room #and i need to pack to move and i need to budget #and i need to eat and shower and get dressed and do laundry #and i barely have the energy to be alive right now #all i want is to smoke. and ill be able to when i go to work bc half my coworkers smoke #which means I'll never really quit itll just keep me satisfied until i can justify buying a vape #and i want my drink from biggby bc i feel so horrible and i just want that to make this a lil more worth it #but i dont need to spend money right now #everythings so hard and im so tired #i dont wanna work today i just wanna die #remi rants

1 note · View note

mentoslol · 1 year ago

Text

forgive me father for im insane

#im literally gonna lose it ndjva #im tryin to concentrate on my college work bc I was busy with my HIGH SCHOOL work over the past week #now i have to write a stupid 5 page paper #about analyzing an argumentative editorial from a popular news source #and i really liked the one i picked and I'm over halfway done and i just realized it really doesn't fit ANY of the criteria i need #so either i restart completely even though its due at midnight #or i keep going and fight for my life trying to get it to work with the assignment #plus my room is dirty but i have no motivation to clean it #and ive got school tomorrow #and my hoco dress hasnt come yet which is making me anxious #but when it does come that means i have to try it on #which is a NIGHTMARE #cause i dont wanna look at my legs they're gross #anyway

1 note · View note