#honestly i dont even know what im talking about at this point
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
residencyisstrange · 9 days ago
Text
mouthwashing is one of those important pieces of media to me because it opens my eyes to different topics and perspectives
11 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 2 months ago
Note
i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
8 notes · View notes
feelo-fick · 2 days ago
Text
OHHHH THATS SO FASCINATING... i really love the additions of the lions thoughts... i dont often see people showing how the demon is somewhat human and i honestly overlooked that as well! it makes things way more interesting, actually, to recognize that the demon has a will and desires (which is how he got created, sustained, and defeated in the first place). its kinda embarrassing for me cause i totally forgot about that even though its presented often in the manga - but anyways you win some you lose some and such jadkfdkfjd
"desire to be respected" "this seemed fine in the moment, but i mightve misjudged." i feel like the lions thought process here was oh! youre ashamed of yourself and feel like a disgrace? -> we can remove that shame! -> dignity gets in the way of fully letting loose! -> desire for respect removed. but as he says, its not as straight forward as that obviously.
"desire to stay angry" "seemed unhealthy" GOD. man! for one, it really shows the lions misunderstanding of humans despite being designed to interact with them. it doesnt grasp the thought that some negative emotions are required to sustain oneself. and also puts into perspective how scary it is to have your wants to be analyzed as good or bad by an outside force. as viewers we are aware of the discrimination that half-foots face and we know (at least partially) why hes so pent up and easy to set off all the time. it may not be a very healthy coping mechanism, but its still somewhat working. chilchucks determination and anger are what drives him to set firm boundaries and defend himself. and to have the lion casually brush all of that off as purely unhealthy is fucking WILD
also "something he said struck with me. i felt gross overeating." GRAH i love you winged lion. youre so interesting. i feel like it was probably the "youre not listening" line... once chilchuck points out how he doesnt have a say in which wishes that get granted it would make sense for the lion to reconsider : "does not everyone really want everything that they want?"
the lion sorta works like a computer program in that way i suppose. you need to be extremely specific with what you want otherwise itll just go for the simplest option : which is usually completely different from what you really asked for
ANYWAYS. enough lion talk PTOOEY i love him but anyways,
oguhgohugh izutsumi. ok so i personally see izutsumi as some form of autistic and seeing such a sudden change in one of her loved ones has got to be SO uncomfortable. like itd be uncomfortable for anyone but her especially, to the point where its irritating (in the way an itch is irritating)
"i wish i could get you the person you want" "...but i dont want a different guy. i just want you back" OW. GOD. OUCH... i dont wanna sound way too personal but i really resonate with both of them here... its scary to not recognize someone you love and its just as, arguably even more, scary to not recognize yourself. izutsumi knows (read: hopes, prays, wishes) its just that simple. in an ideal world it would be as easy as "hey! knock it off! this isnt funny!" "awh, alright, sorry about that - im back!" but it really doesnt work that way. sorta like the denial of the death of a loved one, except theyre still there. just not in the way you feel they should be.
oh yeah addendum to my tags in that poll, it makes more sense if i put it this way : he'd run that shit like the navy at FIRST, and be super wound up about keeping everything in check, but as his sanity starts slipping his plans do as well. you know when a deadline gets closer and closer and you start frantically using whatever the first thing you think of is, and then in hindsight youre like "why did i make that decision??" thats what i feel like it is. like... panic/anxiety clouds the mind and makes you do stupid things. same thing with overconfidence. euphoria. lust. desperation. et cetera. decisions made in a short time limit/relying on instinct and feeling are often not the best
73 notes · View notes
doctorwhoisadhd · 9 months ago
Text
there are many ways nardole interacting with the torchwood team could potentially go but i think in every timeline owen would be so mad about who in the team nardole has sex with. including in any situation where nardole has Only fucked owen he would still find a way to be mad about it
18 notes · View notes
padfootastic · 1 year ago
Text
Day 1 - Prongsfoot Week 2023
massive thanks to the lovely Jen for organising another wonderful event for us!!! you're the best <3
What are the first 5 things that pop to mind when you think about Prongsfoot?
oooh okay, okay, not as easy as u think, this one. because the only thing that pops into mind when i think about pf is like. cacophonous screaming. incoherence. a teenage fangirl running around a room, arms waving madly, mind lost in the obsession. im uh. a bit unhinged for j&s, if u couldnt tell so far lol. but i'll try.
soulmates. in every world, they're connected to each other and they'll find each other. it's a comforting thought precisely because of how tragic canon j/s is.
unattainable. both of individually, and together, are so far out of most people's leagues its not even funny. they're an intimidatingly attractive couple, and they're almost always in the middle of an inside joke that no one else understands. their friendship is inherently exclusionary and it doesnt bother them at all
affectionate beyond belief. gosh they're a public menace. in any decent society, they'd get locked up for obscenity and 'offending sensibilities' and 'outraging the modesty of people' etc etc bc theyre SO all over each other all the time. its a problem.
jigsaw puzzle. they fit like one, filling in each other's cracks perfectly. at any given time, they're what the other needs, and both consciously and subconsciously at that. seeing them together is a treat bc they're so in sync its almost unreal. even...magical, one could say ;)
larger than life. they're not. a real couple ykno? its not a relationship you'd want in reality, nor does it make sense for that to happen. it's fantastical and amazing and not constrained by practical concerns. u dont have to worry yourself with minor issues bc these two are just. *that* intertwined. i dont know how to explain this one properly haha but just know, they're not a relatable couple nor do they try to be.
45 notes · View notes
mushed-kid · 3 months ago
Text
gonna sound dumb for a minute.
actually,,,, i dont think i want to do biology💀😭
3 notes · View notes
waterfallofspace · 1 year ago
Text
Little mostly positive waterfall ramble/rant under the cut~ (warning, I do swear a lil haha~ and feel free to ignore ofc!~)
Finally got the dumb panic-induced false confidence nerve to tell one of my only two in-person (well, one province over, but USED to be in person till earlier this year) friends about The Kink. I've told a handful of internet friends before, but never an actual real life friend I might have to see in person one day.
He actually took it really well, my other irl friend (of 15 years, his girlfriend, known him only about 3-4) would not want to know, we just don't have that type of relationship, she doesn't have that comfort level, but me and him have always been able to have deep and honest talks~
I was. Honestly scared out of my fucking mind. We were in call, but I typed the messsage and then IMMEDIATELY deafened until he read it, but once I got back we had a good talk, he asked a few questions, we made a few jokes, and overall the mood didn't change at all.
I'm honestly always so worried people will think I'm getting off to them sn--zing every time... or anyone else who does... which, ofc, just isn't how it works, but he didn't even consider that. (and made a few joking-yet-honest comments that even if I did get off to him snzing, he wouldn't honestly care. Which knowing him, is completely true~)
Anyways, this is a bit of a random/personal thing to post, but I've been so deeply ashamed of this part of me for so long, and then only recently started feeling more comfortable, and I've been toying/struggling with the idea of telling him for almost a year now, so to finally do it, and get such a good response... honestly it just feels so good. I don't think anything's gonna change in our dynamic, or get weird in any way, and that fills me with so much relief. (and yes, he knows I have a tumblr, but he promised not to search for it thank GOD)
17 notes · View notes
2024skin · 4 months ago
Text
1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me
#i never planned on telling him cuz honestly even tho i dont want him in my life anymore i dont know if what happened was actually rape#theres been a lot of debate over whether or not my specific situation was rape or what the feminists like to call “maintenance sex”#so it feels rather cheap of me to call it rape when our collective idea of rape is so much more sinister than what happened to me#but anyways i didnt want to talk to him about any of this because i dont know what to say about it and i think hes too sexist to listen#but i Did get a very funny and wholesome snap memory of him and one of my besties so i sent it to him#and thats how i found out he reached out to me exactly a month ago to tell me his mom died and to ask for support#which of course i cannot provide cuz i feel too conflicted about him to put aside my ego + i feel that he doesnt deserve that from Me anywa#see also my resistance to cutting him out of my life to the point that i didnt block him or delete all of his pictures#i didnt even get rid of all of his things i kept the sweater his mom gave him cuz i Knew she was going to die too soon#and i knew he would miss wearing this sweater which is the one from his favorite picture of him and his mom together#so not only is the context of this situation very ambiguous but also i dont really feel the way i think a rape victim is Supposed to feel#i mean i have my moments when i really think about it where im hurt and im angry and i cant help my reaction to it even years later#but otherwise im fine and even when it comes to him i was mostly chill and stayed with him for a year after it happened#so i dont feel i have any right to call it rape and yet it was definitely not consensual sex#and theres just no other word to describe ambiguously nonconsensual sex
2 notes · View notes
littlest-bugz · 5 months ago
Text
MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST ASKED ABOUT MY BOOKS AND MY OCS AND IT MADE MY DAY RAAAAAAAAAAA
3 notes · View notes
blu3berrydraws · 11 months ago
Note
I'm glad to hear you're taking good care of yourself. It's not easy! And correct- that was not for the meme. Okay, here's for that: My opinion of you is that you seem to work very hard at honing your art in stylistic and skill-istic ways. I think you understand that your art is good, even when it "could be better," so I worry that you sometimes draw what will attract others because sadly, OC and older/more niche fandom art often fails to get spread around, even when it is drawn with dedication and skill. Of course, I could be wrong about your relationship to fanart- it's just an easy thing for artists to become reliant on the positive affirmation it brings. I've been in that boat and I could merely be projecting. All in all, I think you are a really special and sincere person- and you're pretty btw. Have a good day🐮
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
scringee · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
This is the only way to express how I'm feeling
#i try not to talk about my home life on here but im honestly so fucking frustrated that if i dont get this out i might just kill someone#my family car broke down in January of this year#my father refuses to get a new one because he thinks hes saving so mucj more money and he doesnt feel like he has any incentive#acting as if he was giving us free trips#i would literally pay him 100 dollars a fucking week to help take me in and out of work#and he just doesnt like acknowledge that at all#so now im having to take ubers to and from work every day. each trip is like 20+ dollars so that 40+ dollars a day five days a week#im averaging spending 200 dollars a week jusy to get into work#and i work a minimum wage shitty fucking job so all of my paycheck goes straight into ubers and fucking therapy every week#ive had to skip so many sessions becaause theyre all 50 dollars after insurance#and im just so frustrated#i want to move out so bad but how can i save enough if im constantly hemorrhaging cash#the only reason hes saving money is because he fucking works from home#i just dont know what to do at this point i feel so helpless#becayse even if hou casually bring it up my dad immediately assumes youre ATTACKING him and how DARE you and im tited im so fucking tired#how am i meant to move out in these conditions#how am i meant to do anything#i have no fucking social life because i literally just cant afford it im going to cry#i hate him. i hate my dad so fucking much#vent#ig.#scringee mouth
2 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
Note
So Allegedly Infinite Wealth is 100 hours... not that you can't already spend that long on the games if you really want to, but I'd say it's the first time that could be said to be the base experience rather than a time only hardcore completionists are likely to get.
Yokoyama was talking at length about wanting to make the game worth the price tag since the team is incredibly conscious about the value of the players' time and money. They essentially feel they owe players ten times what they paid, so they're aiming for "an enjoyable 100 hours, but also an unforgettable 100 hours."
If they pull it off, I personally think it'd be 100% worth it and not just a "well other studios are doing it so we can get away with it too" price hike... I'm at least happy to know that's not the intent, and I'm intrigued to see how everything pans out and what the ratio is between story and side content
oh yayaya i saw that article this morning!!! 100 hours is actually so unfathomable to me in terms of an rgg game- i mean y7 was At Minimum around 45~50 hours but when i think of other RPGS that easily dip into 70's and 100's of hours, i'm not too surprised to see LAD start to climb towards those numbers now. it'd be such a jump in rgg's terms tho, so i'm TRULY curious to see where the nearly doubled gameplay hours comes from..
i really appreciate yoko's respect not just to RGGS but also to its customers: they want to make a great product, but they also don't want to sacrifice what they want to do to do that in the process
24 notes · View notes
rabitzzz · 2 years ago
Text
avoiding talking to my fp about feelings by ignoring them again peace and love on planet earth
#vent post#sorry i just#' let me be selfish this once ' i . always try#i dont know how to convince her that im not leaving#anytime i express happiness that fp2 talked to me ( which ties into a fear that i have about fps not speaking to me for days at a time )#( thanks jay )#he gets upset and immediately thinks ive just . replaced her as someone special in my life#when honestly at this point i dont think i could ever live without him ? really ??#i dont know what i can do to finally make her realize that no matter what im literally still always talking to him at the end of the day#even when we fight even if someone else had my attention even when i have a partner thats not him#i dont know what to do and its scary and people are so terrifying i dont want her upset over me time and time again#he really needs to find a new fp or just try not to care about me so much because 1 ) im not something that should be cared about in the -#- first place and 2 ) i clearly just keep directly upsetting her over and over so im not good for him whatsoever#even if im not doing it on purpose he splits directly because of me and when i split at her its because ive let things stack up without -#- handling them for too long so its more like misdirected rage because im such a high strung person#i dunno man im just#one of my fps hardly talks to me and the other is too attached to me im stuck in a hell of my own creation#might call the crisis line again its such a time#man i so totally really love december nothing bad EVER happens in december !!!!
23 notes · View notes
abyssalpriest · 1 year ago
Text
if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up
#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of#this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant#among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry#ramblings //#honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise#of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!''#listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their#concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how#your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of#literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there.#WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE#WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO#''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM#WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other#ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me -#NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI#anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop#calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering#me - i mean the NAME bit clicked
2 notes · View notes
lebrookestore · 2 years ago
Text
feelings are so complex
#its funny in a way yk#because like on one end of the spectrum theres this person that was supposed to be my best frien#but she ended up manipulating me and doing some really shitty things and will be all nice to my face but talk shit behind my back#and honestly she can be a terrible horrible person and has hurt another close friend of mine really badly#and i want to hate her so badly#and i think part of me does hate her because being around her now just drains me of my energy and i suck at being fake about people#but at the same time i loved her at one point bc she was my best friend and i cant just let that go??#and she's going through a lot so i just feel sad for her#so like i cant hate her if im sympathetic and its just weird idk man#i want to hate her but i cant#like i feel awful ab the shit she's going thru but that doesnt excuse the crappy human being she's being but i feel like a bad person#holding her accountable for that bc of how much she's going thru and like why why WHY is it like this why is it not in black n white#then on the other end of the spectrum there are feelings that like im kind of terrified off but like#i underestimated just how easily those type of feelings can blossom#is this me talking about the L word? yes. 🧍🏻‍♀️#i thought that falling in love per se would be like. way more work way more time etc etc#but apparently not? its oddly simply? but at the same time admitting it is like oh okay what#and therefore its like u gotta take time to figure yourself and it out and then like#like you dont really realize it until you're standing in the midst of it#man i dont even know what this post is lmfao 😭 i quite frankly dont even know what im saying right now i am just putting my thoughts out#into the abyss because i gotta put it somewhere#goodbye and goodnight now#brooke rambles
8 notes · View notes
malkaviian · 2 years ago
Text
i am having a great time here on life dot com
#/s#i only ate a scrambled egg today; i couldnt finish it and i feel sick#something else happened today that just showed how this girl is even more manipulative. how did you turned out like this.#or maybe you were ALWAYS like this and youre just showing your true nature now? how i didnt realized this before? we were friends for years#and honestly at this point i would say whatever ruin your life; nobody is going to stay that long around you like we did.#but you have A WHOLE ASS CHILD. A 4 NEARLY 5 MONTHS OLD BABY THAT DEPENDS TOTALLY ON YOU!!!!#STOP BEING SO SELFISH!!!! AT LEAST THINK ABOUT THE SON YOU CLAIM TO LOVE!!!!#maybe im exaggerating but i feel betrayed by someone i saw as a sister + i saw her son as a nephew.#i already lost a 11 years friendship last year why is this happening to me again. and is ending in a horrible way#sorry that the rest of the group dared to still do friend stuff even after you became a mom and thus became unable to do certain things now#i *get* it; you feel envious. but we cant stop our lives just because YOURS changed. we told you multiple times we love you and your son#we love when you bring him with you because we love him; and two of us dont even like kids that much. we were excited the whole pregnancy#we supported you because we can imagine how difficult being a young; single mom is. we did that because youre important#but we committed the horrible sin of doing things without you; because you yourself said you couldnt and/or dont want to go#we committed the horrible sin of still being friends with each other and eventually bring in another friend#whom we tried for you to get along; but it didnt happened and were in the wrong for still hanging out with him.#we tried to talk about you feeling excluded from the group; but you only told us 'i dont know'; because if you directly said#'i dont like that you three have a social life together without me even when im literally unable to follow your steps now because im a mom'#you would sound extremely selfish. and you know what? you are. i get missing the stuff youre not able to do now being a mom; its normal#but its not a fucking excuse to try to destroy the rest of the group. i love how youre pretending to be the victim in this case#by saying 'oh [x] said she felt uncomfortable with me she doesnt want to be friends with us anymore :((' when its not what happened#she said the problem is YOU; not the rest of us. she told you the problems she has with you; we saw the fucking convo#and youre twisting her words to make her look like the attacker. plus trying to make us think she also wants to stop being friends with us?#literally not whats happening. you think were just going to take your word anyway and not ask her about it?#even when breaking a friendship out of nowhere is pretty important? were just going to go 'oh [x] is a bitch' without asking anything.#also we know now she has been your punching bag for so long. we saw convos and your recent attitude towards her confirm it.#anyway youre a fucking selfish manipulator who cares about things going her way only. and were seeing it now#well; i guess at least it means were aware of your true nature; even if we feel betrayed for how long you pretended towards us#things are going downwards and is literally your fault#negative
3 notes · View notes