#maybe its just a me getting older thing but like...i really do just get into doing the tasks and consider that enough
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 days ago
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───୨ৎ praise that old man, girl!
a/n: i adore Stanley Pines and apparently im not alone because the amount of asks i got for nsfw with this man?? who am i to deny the people what they want?? also one anon asked for public sex with Stanley sooo here you go angel!
tags: nsfw, smut, vaginal and oral sex (f receiving), age gap, dirty talk, older man/younger woman, degradation + praise, size kink, dumbification, public sex, rough sex, breeding kink
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You hadn’t exactly walked into the Mystery Shack with dreams of employment. Stan had hired you on the spot, half-serious when he said he couldn’t afford to be picky. “you got a pulse? can count to ten? good, you’re in,” while shoving a broom into your hands.
You’d been working here for a while now and Stanley Pines had somehow, against all reason, taken a liking to you. You weren’t like the other employees, you were sarcastic and always ready with a quick comeback. It didn’t take long for Stan to notice and he loved the fact that you didn’t take his shit. He loved how you could dish it out just as good as he could.
You genuinely liked your work. The old place had its charm and Stan, despite his grumpy act, was actually funny in his own way.
You were sharp, quick with the same kind of deadpan humor Stan wielded like a weapon. when tourists asked the weirdest and dumbest questions as “how does this yeti paw feel so real?”, you’d shrug and go, “oh, Mr. Pines wrestled the guy for it last spring! you should’ve seen him in the ring.”
And somehow, your nonsense never grated on him.
He’d grumble about you “driving him crazy,” but the truth was, he admired how you handled people, how you could spin up a lie on the spot and sell it with a sly smirk. Even when you worked him up, you had a knack for knowing how to make him laugh before he could stay mad.
Like the time you’d swapped the “do not touch” signs in the gift shop with ones reading “please steal this.” When Stan stormed out of his office, you barely flinched. “don’t blame me. Soos did it,” you’d said again and he’d folded his arms, sighing.
“Kid, you’re gonna give me an ulcer.”
“Then you’ll get to take a vacation, Mr. Pines.”
You had a way of making him feel younger, somehow. Not just the old man with a bad back and a million regrets. Around you, he felt like the guy who still had a chance to make someone smile. And god, he loved that.
Because, god, you talk back, crack jokes, get in his face with that stupid grin of yours. And he knows you know how to get under his skin. It’s annoying and hilarious at the same time.
You’re a disaster of a worker. He’ll admit that to anyone, but for some reason, Stan forgives you. every time. “who did this? who messed up the brochures?” and you always say the same thing “Soos.”
And fuck, he adores it, the way you lie so easily and confidently. He's not mad, but charmed by it. And maybe a little turned on too, but he’ll never admit that out loud.
“You know, i should fire you, right?”
“Yeah, but you won’t, cause i’m too cute, Mr. Pines.”
Stan had wanted to stay mad, but how could he? Every time you messed up, he found a way to let it slide, not because you were good at covering your tracks, but because you always knew just what to say, how to make him forget the shit you’d done. You made it all worth it.
The pick-up lines started a few weeks in. At first, they were awful, so bad that you’d nearly die of secondhand embarrassment. “you must be tired, ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind all day, doll,” he'd say with a lazy wink. and, of course, you’d always have something ready: “you should probably take a nap then, Mr. Mystery, you’re getting old.”
The first time Stanley tried to flirt with you, he didn’t know how it’d feel. He was always smooth, always had a line ready, but it always went wrong with you. “you know, i must be a snowflake ‘cause i’m falling for you.” but before he could even get the whole line out, you shot back, “snowflakes melt. Is that really how you want to end up?”
He’d blink, caught off guard, then chuckle. “smartass.”
But Stan, the bastard, he loved that about you.
He loved how you never pretended to be anything you weren’t. No frilly nonsense or sugar-coating, just honest humor that reminded him of his own shitty jokes. You didn’t back down, never tiptoed around him, and he couldn’t even be mad when you lied about the mess-ups.
His flirts were always the same, predictable, corny, but somehow, Stan delivered them with the precision of a seasoned performer. He would laugh at your attempts to flirt back what made you want to punch him and kiss him all at once. “you’re cute when you’re trying to be a romantic,” you say as you lean against the counter with a teasing grin. “but i’m still gonna need a drink to believe you.”
Stanley grew bolder though. “if I were a few years younger. . .”
“You’d still be a pervert?”
“Nah, just a smooth talker, toots,” he’d grin, trailing his fingers over a stack of papers as you walked past, brown eyes never leaving you
The more you two exchanged these ridiculous lines, the more the tension built. The fake flirting, the dumb compliments, it was a game to both of you and neither of you could stop playing.
The shack is empty, just for now. It's an early morning in Gravity Falls, the aroma of coffee that Stan insisted on brewing too strong fills the air. He was at the counter, organising some brochures for the tours, his usual tourist-trap grin nowhere to be found yet.
Tourists haven’t arrived yet.
You were running a little late today, again. Not that Stanley really cared, but he always pretended to. The man was predictable like that. By now, you’d learned that his bark was worse than his bite, though sometimes, you didn’t mind the idea of getting a little bitten.
You walk into the Shack with coffee in one hand and bag slung over your shoulder, the creak of the floorboards greeting you. Stan was leaning against the counter when you came, scribbling something on his clipboard, his back turned to you. And that’s when you saw it.
He wasn’t wearing his girdle and it was impossible not to notice the soft swell of his stomach beneath his shirt.
Fuck. You swallow hard, trying to act normal, but there’s no stopping the heat pooling low in your belly. Mr. Pines, all thick and broad, strong arms, messy morning hair, his belly curving under his chest, that's just too much
And while anyone else might have held back, might’ve thought better of sneaking up on their boss, you didn’t hesitate. The moment you saw him, your lips curled into a smirk.
He hasn’t noticed you yet.
Stepping closer, your let your hands slide over his clothes until your palms rested against the warm curve of his belly. He jumps immediately, his hand jerking across the paper, leaving a thick, jagged line of ink.
“What the— hey! what’re you doin’, kid?!”
“Just admiring my boss?” you grin wider, leaning into him.
Another grumpy “pfft. yeah, right.” comes your way when Stan moves to brush your hands away, but you just dig your fingers in harder, letting your breasts press against his back.
“You’ve been hiding this from me all this time? What a shame.”
His face burns instantly, bright red flushing up his neck. “dammit, don’t go grabbin’ me like that! i’m too old for—”
“Oh, come on,” you cut him off, crowding him against the counter. “you’re not too anything. in fact,” your fingers dip just slightly below his beltline, teasing. “i think you’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Perfect? hah, are you outta your damn mind? Look at me! I’m no spring chicken, alright? i’ve got—”
“Got what, Mr. Pines?” you interrupt. “nice body?” your nails scrape lightly against your boss, earning a shaky exhale from him. “i like it. a lot.”
“Cut it out, kid, this ain’t the kinda body women go crazy for. You’re wastin’ your time”
You frown. “says who?”
He huffs in embarrassment. “C’mon, you've seen it. I'm too old and- and uh, rough around the edges?”
“Damn, exactly what i like,” his whole body stiffens under your touch. “big strong hands, broad chest and this belly, i want all of it, Mr. Pines.”
“You got a filthy mouth, y’know.”
“Oh, i had a good teacher.” you giggle, feeling him already getting hard. “you ever been touched like this, Mr. Pines?”
Stan exhales hard, irritated and flustered. “‘course I have, don’t talk like I’m some goddamn virgin.”
“Thats not what i meant.” your nails scrape, dragging slow over his belly, over the dips and curves.
He tries to change the tactics then. “listen, sweetie, i’m too old for this shit, alright? you- you deserve some young, pretty guy who—“
“Who what? who doesn’t look half as good as you? who can’t make me laugh the way you do? who doesn’t make me want to do this? i like it thick, broad, strong. You could just throw me around and have your way with me, Mr. Pines.”
Stanley fucking stops breathing. Hes hesitating because he doesn’t want to admit he’s just as fucking hungry for this as you are.
He runs a hand over his face, trying and failing to keep his composure. “You- you’re crazy, y’know that?” but you always knew how to get under his skin.
“Admit it, you’d miss me if i wasn’t here to keep you on your toes.” your fingertips graze his bulge once more and that's it. Stan’s breath stutters in his throat.
“Hot belgium waffles, you better be serious, sweetheart.” he’s already turning, crowding you against the counter, gripping your waist, your hips, your ass.
“Why wouldn’t i be?” you gasp after you say the last word when he palms your tits, kneads them roughly.
“You wanna be fucked like that? like a real man oughta do it?” he leans closer to your face. You nod too eagerly and Stan doesn’t waste a second “we better make this quick,” while his fingers already yanking at your clothes, dragging you onto the counter, pressing his mouth to yours.
Quick. Ha.
Stan kisses like he’s trying to eat you alive, pushing his tongue into your mouth. You moan, grinding against him, feeling the hard length of his cock pressing into your stomach
You should have known better. Should’ve known better than to touch him like that, to let your fingers linger on the soft curve of his belly as he stood there, all unbuttoned and exposed. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Because the moment your hands landed there, the pull was too strong, and you knew that if you didn’t take it now, you’d burn up inside.
“You sure you want this, baby? ‘cause once i start, i’m not stoppin.” you nod, gasping for breath, and that’s all he needs. “good, i’ve been holding back long enough.” he gropes you, touches you everywhere, his hands roaming over your back, squeezing your ass.
“Fuck, these are perfect,” your bra is barely on you before he’s palming your tits, squeezing rough, thumbing your nipples, watching them peak.
He licks his lips, then leans down and latches on. Wet, sucking, pulling noises fill the Shack. You arch, whimper, push into his mouth and he groans. “needy little thing, ain’t ya?” he switches breasts, drags his tongue over the swell, teeth scraping before sucking your nipple into his mouth, rolling it, flicking it.
Stanley Pines, despite his gruff exterior, is a sweaty mess in front of you. A man that had given up, probably, on ever being seen as sexy. That’s what made it so deliciously easy to shatter him. To break that cold shell. Because he didn’t see it, did he? He didn’t see how much his body, his age, even his wrinkles, didn’t matter to you. You just want him to feel it. You want him to feel desired, so badly.
“Fucking hell, yer driving me insane, toots.”
You laugh breathlessly. “don’t be so dramatic, old man. You’re tougher than you look.”
“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that one,” he growls as he pushes you back against the counter, gripping your thighs.
His mouth is on you again, kissing down your neck, biting, his tongue leaving hot scorching wet trails that fill your stomach with butterflies. You grind against him, feeling the press of his cock through his pants.
“You want this, huh? want me to fuck you right here, where anyone could walk in?”
“Yes, i need you, Mr. Pines.” your hands grip his shoulders, pulling him closer.
Stanley presses his thick fingers against your underwear, circling your throbbing clit through your panties, drawing soft sounds from your lips.
“Already so wet. Hell, you’re gonna take me so good, aren’t ya? this tight little pussy’s gonna feel so fuckin’ good around my cock.”
You moan, your head falling back, your body arching against him as he works you with his fingers faster, harder.
“Please, please, please, need you!” then, out of the blue, or maybe because you're too lost to even care so you'd mumble everything that comes out of your mouth, you quietly admit. “Mr. Pines, f-fuck, ive touched myself to the thought of you—”
Stanley looks at you. “say that again.”
“I've thought about you, i fingered myself imagining it was your cock.” you say quietly, looking at him with little hearts in your puppy eyes.
“Jesus christ, you filthy little thing.”
“Stan—”
“Mr. Pines.” fuck. the way he corrects you, heat coils in your stomach, between your legs. “You wanna get fucked good, you use the right name.”
“M-Mr. Pines—fuck, please—” his fingers press harder, rubbing slow, teasing circles over your clothed clit.
“Soaked. And i ain’t even touched you yet.” you whine, pressing into his hands, your hips twitching. And that bastard laughs. “poor thing, you really need it, huh? sweetie, you’re lucky i’m not makin’ you beg for it.” yet, he forgot to add.
You’re about to retort, but then his fingers slide your panties to the side, spreading your folds, dragging through your wet slit.
“Fuck, baby, dripping all over my fingers.”
“N-need you—”
“Aw, yeah? that so?” he pushes a finger in your pussy so fucking slow, savouring the way your little cunt takes his thick digit, already imagining how perfect it'd be with his cock instead. “tight angel, fuck, so tight.” Stan manhandles you roughly, spreading your legs with his hands, kneeling in front of you, about to devour you whole. You feel his hot breath against your core and when he leans in and his tongue finally licks a long, slow stripe through your folds, you swear you see stars.
“Taste even better than i thought,” he groans, voice muffled against your pussy. His big hands grip your thighs, holding you open as he buries his face between your legs, licking and sucking like a man starved.
“Mr. Pines—oh my g-god—” Stanley keeps grunting and moaning, the vibration sending shocks through your body.
“Fuck, keep sayin’ my name like that. Can’t get enough of you, doll.” his warm tongue flicks your swollen clit and he slides two fingers into you, curling them, scissoring. Your hips buck against his face, but he holds you down with one arm across your stomach. “Stay still, princess, let me take care of you.”
You’re already close and he knows it, his fingers pumping into you faster, his mouth relentless on your clit. You fall over the edge with a cry, your thighs trembling as he works you through it, fingers still moving, tongue still teasing, until you’re begging him to stop from overstimulation, tugging his hair. Stanley pulls back, lips and chin glistening and grins like the filthy bastard he is. “cant believe i’ve been missin’ out on this.”
He stands, towering over you and you reach for him, fumbling with his belt. When the metal buckle clinks loudly in the quiet of the Shack, Stanley impatiently shoves his pants down to free himself.
Your gaze drops and your eyes widen. Jesus christ.
“Like what you see?”
“I’d be stupid not to,” you grin, reaching out to wrap your fingers around him, making him curse under his breath, his hips jerking into your hand as he grabs your wrist, guiding you to pump his hard length slowly.
But you two don't have much time so he holds your panties aside with one hand, lining himself up with the other and with a single thrust, Stan buries himself inside you, stretching you so perfectly it makes your vision blur.
“Fuck,” his hands grip your hips so hard you were sure there will be bruises. “you’re so fuckin’ tight and warm. Goddamn, sweetheart.”
Your response breaks off into a whimper as he starts moving, slow at first to let you get used, his hips rolling into yours smoothly.
“That’s it, take it, baby, all of me.” you let out a soft moan, looking down where you both connected and he grins, pressing his hand against your stomach, where the outline of him bulged beneath your skin. “look at that, i’m so fuckin’ deep, i can feel myself here. You feel it, baby? feel me stretchin’ ya open?”
You nod frantically, your head spinning with every relentless thrust as he stretches you in ways you didn’t think possible. You cry out, your nails raking down his back, your body arching against him as he sets a brutal pace, driving into you over and over again.
“Such a pretty little thing, lettin' an old bastard like me ruin ya.”
You can only nod, your needy voice lost to the pleasure as youre getting fucked that good, right here in the Shack, where anyone could walk in.
He’s watching you, watching your pussy stretch around his fat cock, watching the way you tremble. His big hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider, forcing you to take all of him.
“Bet no one’s ever fucked you like this before, huh?” he slams into you again, making the counter creak beneath you. Using his strong hands he keeps you in place as his cock drives in and out of your dripping, swollen cunt.
“C'mon, answer me, baby,” he growls, his hand sliding up to grab your jaw, forcing your glazed-over eyes to meet his. His cock buries deep, hitting that spot inside you that makes your legs tremble. ”didn’t ask for silence. you ever been fucked like this before?”
Your eyes are closed as you shake your head, whimpering. “n-no.”
“No, what?”
"N-no one’s ever fucked me like this, Mr. Pines—”
“Good girl, use your words,” Stan grips your chin and forces you to meet his gaze. “tell me how much you love this cock.”
“S-so much,” you manage to choke out between pathetic whines and mewls, your brain turning into useless mess. “i love it, i love you, Mr. Pines, don’t stop!” tears pricking the corners of your eyes.
“Poor thing, all those boys before me and none of ‘em knew how to stretch this perfect cunt open right.” he shifts his hips, grindings his cock against your walls, making you sob. “bet they didn’t even know how to fuck you proper, huh? didn’t know how to make ya beg?”
You shake your head and gasp, clinging to him.
His hand slides down your body, rough fingers rubbing over your swollen, sensitive clit. “owwh, they never even made ya cum, did they, sweetheart?”
“No, they didn’t, Mr. Pines.”
“Fuckin’ shame. all those useless boys, never knew what they were missin’.” his thumb circles your clit. “but don't worry, this pussy’s mine now, ya hear me? No one else’s. I’m the only one who can fuck ya like this, make ya feel this good.”
“Mr. Pines, ple-please. . .’
“Please what, sugar?” he pants, fucking you so deep you swear you feel him rearranging your insides.
You sob, tears spilling from your pretty eyes. “p-please, make me cum—” Stan doesn’t let up, not even for a second. His cock is buried so deep inside you that you can barely breathe and think, barely do anything but moan and take it like the filthy little thing you are.
“Aw, baby, you gonna cum already? just from my cock stretchin’ ya open like this?” you nod, your body tightening around him. “fuck, that’s right, sweetheart, squeeze me just like that. Never thought i’d get to ruin somethin’ so perfect.” his pace picks up, his cock pounding into you so hard you’re sure the counter’s going to break.
You were supposed to keep it quick. just a little pre-tour fuck as you both said.
But thirty minutes turned into sixty and sixty turned into absolute depravity.
The counter was first, but then Stan couldn’t stop. His cock is buried deep inside your soaked, needy cunt as his hands hold you while he thrusts into you.
"Fuckin’ christ, doll, this pussy’s gonna be the death of me."
You had your legs around his waist, arms locked around his neck, Stanley fucking into you so deep you felt like you’d pass out. But then he lifted you up, didn’t even bother pulling out, just carried you like you weighed nothing, still fucking up into you, and took you across the shack like a man possessed.
“Mr. Pines!” and “so good!” were the only words you knew.
“Thought we were keepin’ this quick, huh?” he grunts. “then why the fuck can’t i stop?”
You can’t even answer because your mouth is too busy moaning, gasping, babbling absolute nonsense while he splits you open, every inch pushing against your soft, sensitive walls, stuffing your tight pussy full.
You arch your back, sobbing, because you need it fast again, rough again, animalistic again. And he fucking gives it to you, by grabbing your thighs, folding you in half and absolutely destroying you.
“Fuckin’ filthy girl, letting an old bastard like me ruin this tight little pussy. Even dreamed about this, ugh, layin’ awake at night, fingers buried in that needy little cunt, wishin’ it was me.”
What can you say except loud “yesyesyes!” gasps? However, Stanley is satisfied with that.
“Yeah? bet you’re never gonna want anyone else fuckin’ you again.”
He doesn’t stop. Every display case. Every fake cryptid setup. Even the damn vending machine.
“You're so fuckin’ wet, doll, i could slide into this little cunt with no effort at all.”
Fake exhibits? fucked over them. That fake monster cage? Bent over it. That dusty-ass animatronic Stan managed to steal? yeah, he fucked you right in front of it, hands gripping your ass, hips slamming into yours so hard the damn thing started moving
Stan literally punched it to shut it up.
But did he stop? no.
“Shut the hell up, buddy,” he muttered to the machine, before shoving his cock back inside you and making you scream.
but the final round?
Staff room.
Both of you panting, sweaty, while he takes you from behind, balls slapping against your throbbing clit, the slick sound of skin on skin echoing through the empty Shack.
Or, well, not so empty anymore, because suddenly you hear the honk of a tourist bus outside.
Stan’s head snaps up. “oh, you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me—”
His eyes dart to the stupid clock on the wall and he actually freezes for a second.
“We— we were supposed to open, like—shit, twenty minutes ago.”
“So? keep going.” you say lazily under him.
“Oh, you’re gonna get me in trouble.” but does he stop? does he fucking stop?
No, no he does not. Instead, he fucks you harder.
“I'm gonna make this quick, baby, gonna fill you up real nice, then i gotta—fuck—gotta get to work—“
But then— “uh, Mr. Mystery?”
fuck.
Stan’s body locks up and you both freeze. The voice is right outside the door. Stanley lets out the deepest, most exhausted sigh. “Uh, yeah?”
The tourist hums. “sooo i was wondering, when does the tour start? we’ve been waiting outside for a while.”
Stan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “yeah, yeah, uh, give me five minutes, kid, i got, uh, got a bad back today, y'know? just need a second to—uhhh—” you clench around him, tight, so fucking tight and his words cut off in a groan.
He glares at you. you just smirk.
“You okay in there, Mr. Mystery?”
Stan forces his voice steady. “yeah, yeah, just—” he grits his teeth. “just need a minute to stretch it out.” he snaps his hips forward, stuffing his cock back into your cunt, deep and slow, forcing you to feel every thick, throbbing inch
You whimper, just to fuck with him because this old man is so funny when annoyed.
“Fuckin’ hell, stop that.” he growls under his breath at you.
But the tourist won’t leave.
“So, uh, what’s the official policy on taking pictures of the fake exhibits?”
Stan’s eye twitches, his hips jerk forward involuntarily and you let out a choked gasp.
The tourist pauses.
“Mr. Mystery? are you sure you're okay?”
Stan immediately shoves a hand over your mouth. “Told you, just back’s actin’ up, kid.”
The tourist keeps talking.
“What do you think the likelihood is of alien activity in oregon? because personally, i think—”
You clench around him again. Stan chokes on a groan, his cock throbbing inside you as he tries to keep his voice normal.
“Listen, kid, why don’t you, uh, go look at the gift shop or somethin’, huh?”
“Oh, but i wanted to ask about—”
Stan loses it
“NOT NOW, KID. TOUR STARTS IN TEN MINUTES. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.”
“Ohh. . . Okay?” fucking finally, you hear footsteps and door creaking, that idiot leaving
Stanley slumps forward, forehead against your shoulder.
“Poor Mr. Mystery,” you tease, moving your hips. “just trying to do his job, but this damn girl won’t stop teasing him—”
“Ohhh, you thought you were so fuckin’ cute, huh?” the deep rasp of his voice sends shivers down your spine. His chest is pressed against your back, his weight holding you down while his cock still stuffed inside your ruined cunt. “moanin’ all pretty while i was tryna talk? teasin’ me in front of that dumbass tourist. Makin’ those fuckin’ sounds on purpose. Thought i wouldn’t do somethin’ about it?”
You yelp when his hand grips your hair, yanking your head back just enough to whisper against your ear. “you wanna act like a dumb little slut? then i’m gonna fuck you like one.” after that, Stan pulls out slowly, torturously just to slam back in.
You cry out. No, the sound you make would be better described as pathetic loud whine.
But Stan slaps a hand over your mouth, pressing you into the couch. “uh-uh, pretty, you don’t get to be loud now. you lost that privilege.”
His cock is so deep, stretching your cunt open, filling you completely. Every thrust is hard, brutal, messy, wet. Your pussy clenches around him, sucking him in, greedy for more as you whimper into his big palm. The couch creaks under you, the whole room still eerily silent except for the filthy, wet sounds of him using you.
“Aw, what’s wrong, baby? thought you liked teasin’ me. now you can’t even take my cock?” as you nearly fall from the fast rhythm. Stan laughs against your ear. “thought you wanted me to fuckin’ ruin you, huh? turn this sloppy little cunt into my personal fuckhole?”
You can't even moan as Stan snaps his hips up, hitting so deep it knocks the breath from your lungs.
“What’s the matter, princess? feelin’ a little too full?” his belly presses against your back, his size overwhelming you, his weight pinning you down, making sure you can’t run from him as he grabs your waist, pulls you back onto him, forces you to take every inch. “ this little cunt’s gonna take every last drop, huh? ‘cause that’s what you are, ain’tcha?”
His fingers grip your jaw, turning your head so he can look in your glassy eyes.
“Say it, sweetie. Tell me what you are.”
Your brows knit together. “m’ your dumb little slut, Mr. Pines. . .m’ made to take your cock—” words come out barely coherent through the lewd slap of skin-on-skin filling the room.
Damn right. His hand slides down, finding your clit, rubbing it fast. Your body jerks, overstimulated.
“Too much?” his voice is mocking. “too fuckin’ bad, baby. Shoulda thought of that before you started actin’ like a brat.”
You’re already close again, what is it now, your sixth orgasm? Eighth? You shake too hard in his hands as your cunt spasms around his cock.
“Gonna fill you up, doll. make you fuckin’ mine. you want that? lemme hear you beg.”
”P-please. . . ple, mhm. . .hhng . .” your words muffled against his palm.
“Please what?”
“Please—please breed my messy cunt, Mr. Pines—please, please—”
“Holy shit, baby, you want me to breed this little pussy? want me to fill you so full you’ll be drippin’ down your thighs all day?”
You nod frantically and Stanley feels you smile widely against his skin what makes him laugh. Such a dumb slut you are.
“Greedy little thing. y'know i gotta work today, right?” his cock throbs inside you, stuffing you so full you can feel him in your stomach. ”but fuck- fuck, baby, can’t help it.” his hips snap forward, burying himself completely as he cums, making you feel every pulse, every throbbing rope of his hot seed spilling inside you, flooding your pussy.
Your own orgasm hits so hard your vision whites out, your cunt clenching tight, squeezing him, milking him dry.
“Oh, that's it, baby, there it is. Good little slut.” you collapse, trembling, fucked-out and absolutely ruined.
Stan stays inside you, catching his breath, watching as his cum spills out, dripping down your thighs. He leans down, kisses your neck. “gonna clean you up, sweetheart.”
You blink up at him through tired eyes, dizzy. “with what?”
He smirks. “my fuckin’ tongue.” uh oh, you guess Mystery Shack is gonna open late today because even though Stanley Pines has a job to do, first he’s gotta make sure his messy girl is properly taken care of.
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medullamindset · 2 days ago
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STEB HEADCANONS :>
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Uhhhm YEAH a few headcanons ive collected since act 3 came out in november 😸 enjoy Stebnation, or dont idk
This is very short and boring but its easier to write him in an actual scenario so TRUST IN ME MY UPCOMING STUFF WILL BE BETTER 😿
Content warnings: Established relationship w Reader, miiiild mention of knifeplay but its easily looked past. My opinion on his race.
NSFW marked this pink!
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• He cannot be any older than 30. I'd bet hes like 23-27. Idk how old u have to be to be a field medic/enforcer??
• Hes around 6'4.. Tall guy. ♥︎‿♥︎
• His frill thingies seem to lie flat to his face with "down" emotions, such as shame/guilt and sadness. But they point straight out with more intense emotions, like suspense, anger, exitement, worry. I love the way they flutter sometimes, as a subtle reaction. Like when they saw the Zaunites walking over the bridge to aid in the war, his frills were like "oh, wow.."
But also how they shot straight out with suspense when Ambessa wanted Caitlyn to b commander and everyone was banging their chests and stuff.
• I'd like to imagine his frills flutter a few times in a row when he orgasms, like the shockwaves of pleasure, but also post-orgasm. Maybe they go hand in hand with his nervous system kinda?
• His tip is the same color as his eyelids. His nails seem to be beige too.
• He CAN talk he just chooses not to if he feels he doesnt need to. Short sentences if he has to, small nods and shakes of his head, LOOKS. his face is VERY expressive, but thats more of a fact than a hc. body language is a key communication of his.
• Hes def always been the quiet type, ever since he was six he hasn't been big on speaking.
But sometimes you cheat the system.. Having your back turned to him when you ask him a question just so you can hear his voice, even just to get a little "mhm" from him <3
• On the rare occasion that he does speak his voice is kinda hoarse and gravelly from lack of use UGHHHH *squirts everywhere*
• hes a bit of a "bland" person, hes not boring.. Just a very simple man. He reads practically anything, carries your bags when you're out shopping, he literally just goes wherever you wanna go. He hangs over your shoulders when you do ur makeup, cooks breakfast most mornings, cleans when he feels its needed cuz he doesn't like messes, he'll have music on in the background tho and it's usually one of your vinyls that's playing, makes him feel closer to you <3
Simple things man. deeply emotional and caring too. Hes so kind and eager to help ugh MY SHAYLAA.
• hes a bit socially awkward, he doesnt have social anxiety, hes just kinda stiff and quiet around people.
• what the fuck does he do all day, really?
• I feel like he'd like dancing with his lover but he thinks hes bad at it so hes a bit awkward <333 put his hands around ur waist for him tho and he'd turn into even more speechless mush, everytime.
• Has a gummy smile thats really evident when he laughs so he tries not too, might let a grin slip in private tho c: and close mouthed chuckling/snickers.
• Loves being carressed, hold his face in your hands and trace his cheekbones with ur thumbs? FOLDS. Running your fingers up and down the fins at the back of his head when his face is in your neck? PUTTY.
• Speaking of fins, they continue down to to his lower back, shorter at the bottom but longest between his shoulderblades. He also has darker spots(scales?) Like the other fishfolk in Arcane on his outer arms and thighs. See this post of mine for a ref :)
• he drinks alot of water, like ALOT. his throat get dry easily cuz hes.. Yk, fish.. Atleast half-fish. He'll remind his partner to do the same, no matter your race cuz its good for u, he'll nudge u with a glass in hand and a small tug at his lips, or simply just leave it beside u as a silent reminder.
• Loves holding hands. like, he just LOVES it. He'll act nonchalant abt it but on the inside his heart is just blossoming 💗
Like imagine you're at a café or a bar or a diner WHATEVER and ur just sitting infront of him yapping abt ur day or smth ur planning while holding his hand over the table, and he'll just be buzzing with love, rubbing your soft skin with his thumb, feeling lucky his blush doesnt show (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)
• ABSOLUTELY ADORES kisses. He just finds them so sweet and intimate (cuz they are. But i mean like, he doesn't ever NOT think about it after kissing you, hes always locked on target y'know, he only sees you. He only feels you when kissing your lips, he'll kiss u like its the end of the world.. even if hes just getting up to go to the bathroom or something.)
• he just loves you so much, please kiss him, everywhere. Theres not a single spot of him you could kiss that wouldn't make him shiver (the good way).
• Steb is not much for hardcore kinks in bed. He doesnt "fuck", he makes love. In his eyes there truly isnt any purer form of intimacy than sharing something like that, giving away a piece of yourself to this person, your souls spiritually intertwined and yadiyadayada (it's true tho)
• He will go harder if you ask him to, hes not afraid to make you scream with pleasure. Also, bite him and hes a goner. Omg if hes like treating u so nicely in the sack you gotta bite down on something to contain yourself, pls let it be his shoulder, please leave pretty imprints of you canines all over his neck and chest. And hickeys too HNNGHH
Makes him groan so deliciously. Hips snapping into yours just a liiiittle more harshly than intended.
He'll bite you back carnally if you'll let him, Steb gets so lost in it sometimes..
• Hes open to experimentation tho, like if theres something you reallyreallyreally wanna try he'll be like 'euuughgghggggrhggh okay yk what fine', as long as he doesn't have to hurt you, not too much anyway. The idea of inflicting pain-pain on the person he loves makes him queasy.
• But if hes really fucking horny at some point, watching you take the front seat and play around w his gills, scratch at his chest, put a hand around his neck or.. Idk drag a knife gently across his skin while topping he'll literally whine, digging his dull nails into your sides, holding on for dear life.
• He loves being called petnames. Serious and silly ones. His favorites have gotta be Love, Darling, Baby and pretty boy.. All the sappy stuff. One time you called him 'Gorgeous' and his frills shot straight out for a solid three seconds.. If he already didn't speak, he'd be speechless then. CUZ HES A GORGEOUS MAN.
Or that one time you called him 'fishface' and he just slumped in defeat when he heard you giggle, knowing that one was gonna stick around.
You'll enter the kitchen where hes making something to eat and just go "Hey, Fishface! So--!" Continuing to yap and he just rolls his eyes with a lopsided, lovesick grin u cant see from behind him. From anybody else it'd piss him off, but it's you, So he lets it slide.
• he has the warmest and weirdly softest fuckin hands ever. They're never clammy or sticky, just nice and toasty, perfect.
• is the type to grab your hands in the winter and rub them if theyre cold, trying to transfer his warmth over, even if hes also freezing. breathing hotly onto them.
• speaking of winter he probably HATES IT. He gets SO cold SO easy, hes shaking in his boots fr. A frozen fishstick fr. Like jesus. But the palms of his hands stay warm for some reason..
adding to that hes def a sweater fiend.. He LOVES knitted sweaters and hoodies and TURTLENECKS. HE'D LOOK SO GOOD IN A TURTLENECK. TELL ME IM WRONG. LIKE A BIG, FAT, KNITTED ONE THAT GOES UP TO HIS JAW. Even better if you knit/crocheted them for him <33
• I headcanon that his dad is a human and his mom is a fish person cuz he has hair and rounded teeth which other fishfolk we see don't. We don't see any other fishfolk from piltover tho.. So maybe hes just slapped on a wig, peel-off eyebrows and filed his teeth down (which is INSANELY painful btw) to look "socially acceptable". I HEAVILY doubt that, when i rascism like that ever shown in Arcane, Piltover specifically? 🤔 Im not even gonna get into that whole Vastaya thing cuz i dont know enough.. I heard they can decide how many animal features they show as they please and that they're like deeply connected to magic and live really long.. But that isn't mentioned or even nodded to in Arcane so im just gonna pretend that doesnt exist lol sorry
• but ya he adopted alot of his moms fishy features but also human-ish hair and teeth from his dad.
•speaking of his parents, i do feel like Steb was raised kinda strictly? Idk i just feel like his parents would be very uptight and that stuck with him all the way into adulthood, he stands super upright and is well proper while on the job because thats just what hes been taught.
hes alot more relaxed at home tho, where he knows he doesn't have to be or look presentable for anyone, especially not you. he knows you'll love him even while standing by the fridge in pj's, with a fist full of grated cheese ready to be devoured at circa 2 AM.
• He was raised in a small village on the outskirts, right beside the ocean. Hence he still adores it and loves to go swimming with you, reminds him of his childhood yk c:
• He kinda gives only child vibes to me? Idk the thought of him with an older sibling is kinda cute tho,, i imagine they'd be like complete opposites. They hardly see eachother,, I don't feel like his family lives in Piltover. He had a "Mom, Dad.. I'm 18 now..! I'm moving to the big city. And there is nothing you can do to stop me." Moment, exept in a less verbal way maybe, moving to the city of progress and begining medical and tactical training, to help people. On both sides.
• Hes really good at origami, sometimes when hes at work and droning at his desk with nothing better to do he'll just grab a random paper and fold a little swan together. You've found multiple critters like that scattered around the house, some with faces drawn on, just two inky dots and a derpy smile like this : )
Once he made one of your favorite animal and left it on your nightstand before heading to work, you picked it up and examined it, smile growing even wider when you found the hidden lovenote that was written on it <3
It's now glued neatly into your shared scrapbook/journal along with many more, surrounded by dried flowers and red hearts <33
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhrghhhhhhhhhh yeah ❗️🚮 i just debated wether or not this is even worth posting for like twenty minutes.
Pls dont bash me for my opinions now *gulp*
Also heres a lil reminder that im taking requests 💗💗 i love writing i just never have good or original ideas :'o(
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lesbianherald · 14 hours ago
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random not super consequential thought (apologies if you’ve addressed this already): was your mental image of viktor in coming home commune era long hair or academy era short hair? or some variation thereof? what about the fantasy au?
since i wrote coming home before season 2 came out, season 1 for sure! i kind of imagined them mirroring their act 1 looks, but older, jayce maybe with some stubble.
I went this way (in my head) because I imagined this world (for all of its flaws) as a kinder one where neither would age as quickly. this is a choice i kind of regret now? again at the time i was like dont think just write this stupid lil thing and your brain will stop feeling like a prison DKFSJHD.
you were probably expecting two sentences but since we are on the topic, descriptors are kind of high key my biggest regret with coming home. at the time they didn't have many looks. but also I was so so so used to/deep into writing screenplays that i forgot my prose background/just hadn't worked that muscle in a long time. this is also why I personally HATE the first two chapters - because in my own re-reads I can really tell I'm trying to re-work the prose muscle back to life let me tell you it is not like riding a bike.
when you write a screenplay, you usually leave out a lot of what other departments would cover unless its super relevant - costumes, props, hair, etc - and it was only when i was like wayy too late in the game that I was like fuck bro. I screenplayed them DSKLFJHSD. again - it started as a project for me - i had no ideaaaaa you know. now i definetly wish i put more care into describing them.
but that also has created for a really fun side effect of different interpretations of them in the art.
this is something i'm really excited to NOT do in my upcoming fic. in fact, i'm working with an incredibly kind artist in the fandom on really bringing their looks to life. which is so fun. and i'm so excited for ppl to see it.
Viktor is in his long hair baylage era but he's.... not purple LOL. He's using his crutch. Has a sick cloak. Won't give too much else away.
Jayce has his beard/longer hair. Starts out out of his brace but gets an injury where he subsequently wears it. Very similar to episode 8/9 jayce. He will have one feature that is very unique to this fic that he inherits at the end of chapter 1 that is very... well you guys will see its ... i have a flair for drama and romance what can i say.
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realestsmiggles · 2 days ago
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Sigh.. Another TCC related rant 🙏 a lot shorter but just some quick stuff I wanted to talk about
(Really just about the people on the app and in the community)
Making friends who are also tcc is so hard it's either cornballs, edgelords, or the most senstive people on earth. Like one how are you gonna be THIS sensitive about such little things when you're on the worse part of the internet. Or people who will be rude asf and then get mad cause someone's mean to them, like man up and grow a pair. How can you be surprised that there's bad people in a community based around mass killers and shooters? It just never makes sense.
But edgelords actually URK me to my core, like I'm so sorry but your ass is NOT Eric... I know I talk about columposers a ton but they just make me super mad. We don't need anymore school shootings, it's not a competition and you're just making a fool out of yourself. I think Columbine and couple other shootings were all we needed and to get past but there's just more and more each year. Its always by some edgelord found their dads gun and just so happens to know what Columbine is. And like I've said before their manifestos are all the same some fuckin "They're all gonna feel my wrath 👿"
No they aren't... you're gonna end up injuring two people and then just shooting yourself, shut up. Sometimes the shootings aren't just Columbine based and some are caused by serious illness but I feel like we should get those checked out before anything. Like if your child is clearly showing signs that somethings wrong then I don't know, maybe talk to them? Take them to a doctor? Call someone? Many shootings could be avoided this way or just simply putting metal detectors inside schools that face a lot of threat. Now I know that me just saying this won't do anything for the world and this is just me ranting.
On the same topics of edgelords I also hate two specific people, first one is the like cannibal97 guy or whatever his name is. The guy whose convinced he's Eric and people in his anon sections who are like "ohemgee you make me wet >_<" WHAT. Excuse me.
And he's always flirting with them, if someone (an anon may I add) starts flirting with you and you are 17 and older then don't respond. Because you might be talking to a minor or someone much younger than you, because I know a lot of people are 13-14 and it's weird if they're talking to a 17-19 year old. Then there's the argument of "Well the younger person sent it and/or it was anonymous,". Yes but you (a 17-19 year old AKA a grown adult with basic thinking skills) shouldn't reply because it was probably anonymous for a reason, maybe because they didn't want you to know their age.
The second person is the Dylann roof fan who's user is 88aryan-2 and she's a white girl and says the n word and just seems like a rude person in general. Like you are not Dylann's top gal buddy 🙏. He's not gonna be released from prision and shown your rainbow dash tumblr account and suddenly say "Wow!! She's just like me fr! Maybe I should talk to her!" This is not a drama show, this is Tumblr out of all places.
Now I don't mind Dylann roof fans because most of them talk about the fact that he's a bad person which is good but when you're just acting like him it's just kind of cringe. I feel weird when someone on here says the n-word because you can never fact check if they're actually black (this is coming from a white guy, I don't have much room to talk)
In general I just don't like a lot of people on here or in this community because most are rude or just bad people or just straight up hard to talk to and be around. Of course there's awesome and kind people on this app and I love talking to people who are like actually nice people and understand where I'm coming from. But it's always the people who only think racism and Columbine are the only funny things. I know I'm kind of a boring person but some of these people actually have the personalities of dried Mac n cheese. Please get an orginal or just better personality, find a cool game or a fun hobbie or better friends, maybe just find friends in general.
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obsidianpen · 3 days ago
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After reading No Glory and Hauntingly, it's hard to enjoy hetero romance, and it's not just because your way of writing is elite; there could be so many reasons that I went hardcore m/m and f/f shipper. Like, I am dead serious when I say my favorite telenovela pairing is Luisa x Rose from Jane the Virgin. So, I am really, really excited for your original work, and even more stoked that you decided it to be an m/m pair. But yeah, would love to know why you decided that?
you know, it was an interesting thought process that involved a lot of self reflecting. There’s definitely controversy around women writing gay male romance. Most of it is, I think, bullshit, and the arguments such as ‘its fetishizing’ are way off base (no, that would be male directors and producers creating plotless w/w porn, imo). But it was a Big Question: why should I, J…Jamie (lmao I’m almost more OP than myself anymore when I’m online) write a story with a bi male lead, when I’m a female (I love writing bis okay we need more of us!!) ? The reason I like writing Harry/Tom has everything to do with their dynamic and roles in the canon, and nothing to do with the gender. Id ship them regardless. In fact I probably would have realized I shipped them sooner if it was f/m; I was just too young at the time to realize that’s what I was rooting for because I was a bit sheltered in that regard.
anyway - so yeah, why am I still interested in m/m outside of fanfiction? I asked myself, staring at the mirror. So I wrote a little bit out of this original idea, one version as a female lead and once as a male, and you know, it was a pretty interesting exercise. When I was writing a male protagonist, I was… calm? Idk, I didn’t overthink him. I knew who he was and I just wrote what he did and what he thought. But when I was writing a the female version, my anxiety was so much higher! I found myself agonizing over every bit of her personality, worrying if people would find her ‘too this’ or ‘too that’, too predictable, too pretty, not pretty enough, too tough, too weak, etc etc. I felt like no matter who I made her, people would be upset and fucking hate her. And then I realized, oh. This is probably why so many women authors like writing male leads. Because that agonizing feeling, that’s how it is to be a woman, all the time. And it’s so relieving to get to leave that behind when writing a male lead. Maybe this is all deeply problematic on my part, I’m not sure. Internalized misogyny? I don’t think so, just the bleak reality. But yes I likely have issues lmaaao
Another reason was simply that the last original work I wrote has a female lead, so I thought I’d switch it up again. Writing an m/m story is what got me into writing in the first place, so it feels weirdly like have to acknowledge that in new projects I take seriously, too?
and to acknowledge that story I already wrote with the female lead - Starlings - I agonized quite a bit less over her, and in hindsight, I think it’s because she’s a child. She goes through puberty during the story, surrounded by older women, and there are almost no men in the whole thing, so the dynamic is totally different. It’s not big on the romance, either, which also helps. So yeah. No anxiety there. But with a grown ass woman in a story that’s centered quite a bit around a super problematic romance? Anxiety. Anxiety for days. I also feel this anxiety when I write Hermione, btw.
there will definitely be a different kind of worrying writing this new original thing, though - writing a gay magical romance set in southern 1920s America is gonna require a TON of research, and I’m not taking that lightly. But that worrying isn’t nearly as personal, which makes a lot of difference.
I’m interesting in other people’s opinions on this! So please share if you’re willing. 🌸
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echoingbirdsofprey · 3 days ago
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Back Forty View (On Our Piece Of Ground)
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4 - Windows Down On A First Ride In A Paid Up Truck
Pairings: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley-Owens, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky
Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)
Warnings: SMUT, lots of pregnancy talk, unprotected!piv (wrap before you tap) argueing, angry/annoyed!Tyler, brotherly teasing and wrestling, and hopefully I didn't miss anything. Just a reminder, none of my work is beta read and I do my best to edit as best as I can so sometimes I have to go back and fix things after I reread it a million and a half times so sorry about that!
A/N: This is an interesting chapter. I had trouble writing it at first and then once it started flowing I couldn't stop. There are a lot of key moments in here between our four main characters. There's a little smut, a little angst, a little fluff and just all around a lot. The part art the end is something I have actually seen happen so I pulled from some personal experience for this one and the next one as well. The chapter after this will come with heavy warnings because as always I can't leave well enough alone. So please enjoy this chapter, the next will be heartbreaking. As always, likes, comments, reblogs, and any feedback is always always appreciated! Love y'all that keep reading along and hang with me on this journey. It's a really fun one so far and there's a SHITLOAD more to come!
Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03 @coloraturadiva @kmc1989
Georgia had been getting many requests for lessons and training and she had tl weed out the people who just wanted to come and meet Tyler and be nosy because there were quite a few people who were exactly that. They jointly came up with a questionnaire for people to fill out, detailing exactly what people were looking for with their horses to make it easier to wade through the nonsense phone calls and texts. There had been a quiet period in between the holidays where there had been minimal inquiries except for one lady who kept calling. 
“Ugh...Tyler. It's the same lady.” Georgia said, looking at her caller ID. It was a number from a western Oklahoma area code and she knew it was the same woman because she'd leave the same text right after the call.
Unknown: Hi Georgia my names Taylor I've got a horse i need some help with. I know its the holidays but if you could call me back when you get a chance I'd appreciate it. Happy Holidays.
“Just answer. It's almost New Year’s anyway.” Tyler said. He had been sitting on the couch next to her, but decided to pause the video he was editing to engage in a cuddle session, seeing as Sam and Jake had stepped out to take the dogs for a walk around the property. Georgia giggled softly and then  cleared her throat as she answered the call. Tyler ceased his movements, his lips stationary against her neck.
“Hey, Georgia, my name’s Taylor and I was hopin’ you could help me out. I’ve got a pretty nervous horse and was told by a bunch of people that you were the person to take him to for training. I’m hopin’ you’ve got a spot open?” The woman sounded older and Georgia wondered if she realized it hasn't gone to voicemail.
“Hi, Taylor. Unfortunately I don’t have room at the moment and I’m actually pregnant so I can’t really do much more than groundwork. Maybe I can refer you to someone else for now?” Georgia said, hoping that might satisfy the woman's needs for now.
“I’d much rather wait until you were available. He’s been to too many trainers already. This is kind of the last straw.” The lady's voice grew heavy and Georgia pursed her lips. She turned to Tyler, who was listening. He shrugged his shoulders, leaving it up to Georgia to make a decision. Her lips thinned and she thought for a moment before making a suggestion.
“Oh...I’m sorry to hear that. I mean...best I could do at the moment is come take a look at him if you want?” That was the best she could come up with for now.
“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll text you my address. We’re just outside of Cleo Springs.” The woman said, hanging up immediately and sending the text with the address.
“Guess we're going to look at a horse?” Georgia asked and Tyler nodded.
“Well she'll have to wait until our make out session is done.” Tyler smirked and he took the phone from her hand and placed it on the coffee table. He hovered above Georgia before gently pressing her into the cushions. His hands were warm and inviting, much like his lips as they moved against any exposed skin he could find. Georgia’s head fell back against the couch and she let her eyes close, enjoying Tyler’s soft touch.
“Mmm, Tyler.” She purred in his ear and he chuckled as he splayed his fingers across her still growing belly. He locked her in place with his legs on either side of her hips. He shifted, kneeing her legs open. He was careful as he rested the backs of her thighs against his for support. 
“This okay? Comfortable? You’ll tell me if it isn’t?” He asked, kissing her forehead, then the tip of her nose, and then he stopped at her lips. She nodded and closed the distance between them. 
“I’m okay, Tyler.” Her voice was strained, and needy and Tyler’s cock twitched beneath the denim. He hummed and Georgia reached up to rest her hands at the back of his neck.
“Yeah, keep sayin’ my name just like that darlin’ n’ I’ll getcha there, pretty mama. ” His lids lowered, reaching for his belt buckle to undo it. He unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down his hips, then pulled her leggings and panties down. Georgia swallowed hard and her eyes met his, their mouths only inches apart.
“Ohhh, Tyler.” Georgia whimpered, as he was slow to push his length into her, stilling as he kissed her. He waited for her okay, wanting to be sure that he wasn’t hurting her. With her being pregnant, there were certain positions that had become uncomfortable for her and Tyler wanted nothing more than for her to still feel good about herself. She tugged at the hair at the back of his neck and bit her lip, signaling him to keep going. He was tentative at first but then as he saw a look of pure pleasure wash over her, he loosened up.
“Mama, yur so sexy, y'know that? Fuckin’ beautiful, gorgeous girl. Pretty Peach. ” He accentuated each compliment with a deep thrust, hitting just the right spot to bring her towards the edge of a powerful orgasm. When she crested that peak, Tyler was quick to follow, spilling inside her as his name left her lips in a satisfied moan. They soaked in their shared high for a few moments before they heard footsteps coming up the porch stairs. Tyler pulled his jeans back up, zippering them but not buckling his belt and then he pulled Georgia’s panties and leggings back up. 
The dogs came bounding in first as Tyler peeked over the top of the sofa. Jake glanced around and then saw him but not Georgia.
“Shit, sorry T. We interruptin’? He asked, stopping halfway through the door. Sam smacked him gently, trying to get in.
“No, no, you’re fine. We’re just makin’ out like teenagers.” Tyler chuckled and he helped Georgia sit up. She smiled at Jake, who let Sam through the door then.
“Nice. You doin’ the over the pants handy too?” Jake mused and Tyler grabbed a ball, strategically placed by Grits in reach and chucked it at his brother who caught it. “Ah you thought...you thought my reflexes were shit. I fly planes at supersonic speeds you ding-dong.”
“Why do you boys always use the most childish insults?” Sam asked, poking Jake in the ribs. He winced and whipped around to tickle her. Tyler smirked as she collapsed in Jake’s arms and against the front door.
“Well sayin’ ding-dong in front of kids is probably better than cocksucker.” Jake chuckled as he continued to tickle her. She swore and he captured her lips with his.
“You say that too, though.” Georgia said from the couch and Tyler raised a brow.
“Well, yeah, but Kenny used to yell at us if we swore in the house. So we reserved the really bad ones for out in the barn or on trail rides. Sometimes when we were pennin’ too.” Tyler explained and Jake had ceased his comical assault on his fiance. She was breathing heavily as she hung off of Jake. Tyler rose and Georgia grabbed for his belt, attempting and failing to hide the fact that it was still unbuckled. Jake threw his head back in a loud roar of laughter. 
“Oh my god, you were straight up fuckin’ before we came in, weren’t you! T! She’s already pregnant!” Jake cackled. 
“I’m gonna throw somethin’ else at’cha boy. We’re all adults here. I am allowed to bang my wife while she’s pregnant, thank you VERY much.” Tyler said, buckling his belt. He gazed over at Jake and his tone fell flat. “I’m sure you’ll be tryin’a do the same thing with Samantha. No offense, hun.” 
“None taken, Tyler. No, in fact, we were just discussing babies. Weren’t we Jake?” Sam said with a wide smirk. Jake’s nostrils flared and his eyes widened, surprised at Sam’s response but a little proud of her for it. This was the Sam he knew.
“Well, Jakey, if you need me to tell ya any tricks, I got a one hundred percent success rate, so.” Tyler mused and Jake's mouth fell open in a smile. Georgia couldn’t help the laughter that came from her. 
“You cocky motherfucker.” Jake scoffed and blinked a few times before crossing the room and grabbing his brother’s shirt. Tyler laughed and let Jake pull him around a little, their noses touching.
“You gonna kiss me, sweetheart?” I see why you joined the Navy.” Tyler joked and Jake pushed him back.
“That’d be the most hillbilly ass shit. We’d get hung for it.” Jake punched Tyler lightly in his chest and Tyler reached and took a hold of Jake, flipping him around and pretending to choke him out from behind. Jake fake gagged and felt to the floor and then they both laughed raucously again, all the while Sam and Georgia doing nothing but watching their significant others. Tyler helped his brother back up and then they shook hands. 
“Hey, you wanna come with us to check out a horse?” Tyler asked as their breathing returned to normal. Jake glanced at Sam and she nodded.
“Sure. Where are we headed?” Jake asked. “And should we leave the dogs here?”
“Yeah, they can all stay. Think that might be good. Sounded like this horse was kinda weird. It’s in Cleo Springs? It’s ‘bout an hour n’a half.” Tyler said. He motioned to the stairs. “We’re just gonna...change real quick.” Tyler smirked and threw his keys at Jake, who caught them and tipped his head.
“I’ll go start the truck.” Jake said and Sam made sure that the pups were all settled and happy. They’d had a nice long walk, so they’d all sleep for a while. Dustin could let them out when he came back later that evening.
🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓
It had been a quick drive, considering there weren’t many people on the roads with it being the holidays and kids were on vacation from school. When they pulled up, Tyler scrunched his nose and glanced at Georgia.
“This place is a shithole, Gee.” He said softly, reaching for her hand. She looked around, having texted the woman, Taylor, that they were on their way about an hour ago. She said she’d be there, and she was coming from the back of the property. Georgia put her jacket on and Tyler ran to the passenger side, helping her down from the truck as it was decently tall. The woman shook Georgia and Tyler’s hands and then nodded at Jake and Sam. She was a bit awkward and she seemed very nervous, Georgia observed.
It was well into the afternoon and they didn’t want to be here terribly long with the sun getting ready to set. The horse was in a round pen at the way back of the property. The woman led them back to where she kept the horse, and they passed a few other corrals on the way with other horses in them that looked well fed and well kept. Maybe the place was just old. As they approached, Georgia noticed the woman fold her arms across her chest. 
“He’s pretty reactive. Don’t go in with him.” The woman said and Georgia stepped a little closer. He was a dark color, maybe a roan, but she couldn’t quite see all of him.
“Not a problem. Tell me a little bit about him?” Everyone stood close to the round pen and the horse stayed at the back away from them, his muscles twitching every so often. He was thin, and Georgia could count every rib, but he had muscle across his back and hind end so he wasn’t quite what she would consider neglected...yet. He needed weight though and when he turned his head, Georgia’s mouth dropped open and she grabbed for Tyler. He had a freeze brand. He was a mustang, and Georgia had always wanted one, since she was a little girl.
“Got him from the BLM holding facility at Pauls Valley. He was great for the first few months and was doin’ well and then he bucked me off and I hurt my back pretty bad. He’s never been aggressive but when he gets scared he just panics. In all honestly, miss, I really need to get rid of him...” The woman said, with tears in her eyes. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.” She said, sniffling and walking toward her house. The four of them watched her go and Georgia peered through the panels. The horse sniffed at the ground and then he jumped, hitting the panels and scaring himself.
“Tyler...” Georgia leaned against the panel, watching the horse as he trembled. 
“Gee...you’re very pregnant.” Tyler cautioned as his hand met the back of her neck. He squeezed slightly, as if to try to rub some sense into her, but he knew her decision was already made up.
“Tyler...please. He needs help.” Georgia's voice was pleading as she turned to him and looked up at him with her pretty blue eyes. Jake and Sam stepped toward the corral.
“And you cannot get injured. My kid’s in there. I can’t lose you.” Tyler said, tone flat.
“I won’t handle him. He needs to decompress anyway. I bet just takin’ him outta here would help.” Georgia reasoned. Jake glanced over at her and his eyes widened.
“That thing looks more like a bronc than a ridin’ horse...” He said softly, pulling Sam a little closer. The sun was going down quick.
“And what if he won’t go in the barn?” Tyler asked, his hands going to his hips.
“He doesn’t need to. He’s a mustang. He already lives outside by the looks of it. We’ve got panels. We can build him a small pen. He needs to be around other horses.” She suggested and Tyler shook his head.
“We? You mean me’n’Boone’n’Jake.” He said, slightly annoyed sounding as he motioned to Jake, who could see exactly where this was going. Just like Sam, Georgia would get what she wanted, one way or another.
“Yes...” Georgia said almost apologetically. Tyler sighed heavily and ran his hand over his face and scratched his beard. He stepped away from her for a moment, his heart pounding. He knew the right thing to do was to save this horse, but he was terrified that it might hurt Georgia. He would just have to be strict with her. He sighed again and then turned back to her, his hands on his hips, the classically annoyed Tyler look about him. Georgia bit her bottom lip.
“ And my bleedin’ fuckin’ heart can’t say no to you .” He said, displeased, but he stepped back toward her and pulled her into an embrace. “You’re not touchin’ that horse until Jaycen is born though. Dustin and I will feed him and muck the pen. We’ll go home and get somethin’ set up, and I’ll come back with Lennon to get him, okay? I’ve got no fuckin’ idea how I’m gettin’ him on a trailer.”
“Have I told you that you’re husband of the year?” Georgia asked with a wide smirk.
“Yup, keep tellin’ me darlin’. At this rate, I should be husband of the fuckin’ century.” Tyler said and he glanced at Jake, who just shrugged his shoulders. He pulled Sam in a little tighter as he glanced back at the horse.
The woman, Taylor, came back out of her house and she seemed in better spirits.Tyler motioned for Jake and Sam to head back to the truck. Jake took the keys and started it, letting the diesel warm up.
“Taylor, I’ve talked to my husband and if you’d like, we can take him off your hands.” Georgia said and the woman looked as if relief washed over her in that moment.
“Are you sure? You have a place for him?” She asked wearily. She probably couldn’t believe her luck.
“We can come up with somethin’ by tomorrow. We’ve got a lot of land.” Georgia said. Taylor took her hands in a thankful gesture and then hugged Georgia, careful of her belly.
“I don’t want anythin’ for him...you’d be doin’ me a mighty big favor. I..I don’t have a trailer.” Taylor said apologetically. Tyler shook his head and placed his hand back on the back of Georgia’s neck, squeezing gently. He rubbed between her shoulder blades and then pressed her toward the truck.
“We’ve got one. We can come pick him up tomorrow.” Tyler said, smiling at the woman. She thanked them and then as they were walking back to his truck the woman mentioned one last thing.
“This is great. I really appreciate your help.I’ll find his BLM paperwork so you can have it. His name is Ducati.”
🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓
“Y'never know...maybe he'll turn into Jaycen's horse.” Georgia said as they drove home in the dark. Tyler’s knuckles were white on the wheel and Jake could tell by how hard his foot was on the gas that he was mad.
“If you can get that thing safe enough to tote around our kid and rope off it...I'll buy you ten more. You know I'd do anythin’ for you but I'd be on my fuckin’ knees like a slave if you could get that done because honestly, Gee, I don’t have any hope for that horse. He’s too fuckin’ skittish. He couldn’t even be a buckin’ horse like that. Fuckin’ Ducati...whatta name.” Tyler’s tone was clearly annoyed and Georgia knew that so she stayed quiet as Tyler continued to vent his frustration. “And for what it’s worth, I’m tryin’a not make all this harder while we got a kid on the way. You are damn near seven months pregnant, Gee! It’s a damn good thing Jake is around to take some of the load offa me because I’m gettin’ fuckin’ exhausted. God, Gee, I love you, I do...but I just want a few things to slow down.”
Everyone was silent then, Jake glancing out the back driver side window, Sam laying against him and curled up. She gazed up at Jake who gave her a small, worried smile. She saw Georgia’s eyes in the rearview and knitted her brows for her. Georgia bit her lip and glanced over at Tyler. He huffed in frustration and then he shot her a quick look. He reached across the center console and Jake observed his brother again, interested in what he was going to do next. And what he did surprised Jake.
“I’m sorry. I lost my temper. I didn’t mean to. I’m just worried bout’cha, darlin’. I love you.” Tyler’s voice became significantly softer and he took several deep breaths. This was Tyler healed and Jake was overjoyed for him. This was a much different Tyler than the one he’d been in the years that Georgia wasn’t with him. Tyler had worked on himself so much, trying to get control of his anger in that time and it had clearly worked. Georgia’s eyes were misty as she stared at him.
“I love you too. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have forced you into makin’ a decision. I just...” Georgia said and Tyler squeezed her hand.
“No, don’t you apologize. It’s another mouth to feed and muck but he needs to get outta there. You’re only thinkin’ of the animal. That’s why people ask you for help with their horses. You care more about the animals than anythin’ else. You’re such a good girl, Gee.” Tyler praised her and Georgia felt a wave of heat wash over her. His smile was warm as he glanced over at her again in between flicking on his turn signal and checking the signs for the exit. Everyone was silent again as Tyler drove through Stillwater and toward their home. When they got back it was a little past dinner, so they whipped something up quickly and ate. 
“Hey, we can clean up, you guys go rest. You got a lot to do tomorrow.” Jake offered and Tyler hugged his brother and thanked him quietly. Tyler headed upstairs, his limp evident now that he was at the end of his energy for the day. Georgia thanked Jake and Sam and then followed her husband. He had stopped at Jaycen’s room, appreciating the crib and the chair and the color scheme that had finally been finished. Everything was ready for the baby. But now, suddenly, Tyler felt crunched for time. Georgia waited for him to turn and he smiled weakly before heading into their room. He unbuckled his belt and stood for a moment, at the foot of the bed. Georgia stayed at the threshold of the room for a few minutes before she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. 
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t realize how tired you were too.” Georgia whispered. Tyler turned and he sat on the edge of the bed, He pulled her between his legs and she placed her hands on his shoulders. She reached up and ran her fingers through the hair at his temples. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
“I suddenly feel fuckin’ nervous. I don’t know why. And that horse just...he reminds me’a you...before. Spooky, skittish. I just get worried...” Tyler explained, his eyes going misty as he gazed up into beautiful and sad blue.
“Oh, Tyler...” She guided his head toward her chest, wrapping her arms around his head. His arms wound around her waist. She spoke softly as she caressed the back of his head, feeling the spot where there was scar tissue from stitches that didn’t quite heal properly. “I’m so sorry...I’m sorry I put that distrust in you and...and I know..I know I’m gonna be makin’ up for it forever but please...know I’m not gonna run anymore. I’m here to stay. I promise. I promise you I will stay. No matter how hard it all gets, I’m stayin’. I wouldn’t dare take your son away from you. Not after I lost my father. I will not let this boy grow up without you...without his father.” Georgia felt tears streaming down her cheeks and Tyler could hear the trembling in her voice as she made her vows to him. They hadn’t done marriage vows, but he was counting this as hers. And he knew she'd probably count them as hers too.
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Tyler decided that Georgia should go with him to pick Ducati up. Jake and Dustin had worked in the morning setting up a pen that was close enough to the barn that they could muck it out easily and he could at least get against the barn to block some wind until he got used to the barn. The pen was also in a spot where they could just pressure him off the trailer and into it without him escaping. Lennon sat in the back with Grits, who had decided he needed to come along for the ride because he didn’t get to yesterday. Lennon could rope damn near anything and Tyler would even say he was better than him, even though Lennon wouldn’t admit that. He looked up to Tyler. So they both brought ropes in case they needed them. 
Taylor was there with the BLM paperwork for Georgia to sign, showing that she now owned the horse. Tyler backed the truck and trailer up to the pen and they opened the gate to the pen and the back door of the trailer so that they only place Ducati could go was around the pen or into the trailer. The horse snorted and Taylor decided she would go back into her house and let them do whatever they needed to do to get him on the trailer. She didn’t think she’d be very helpful with how nervous she was. 
Ducati was a beautiful bay roan and now in the morning sun, Georgia could see that. He needed some groceries and some brushing but she knew with time, he’d fill out with muscle and be a good little horse. She hoped for that at least. Ducati was rounded up from the Pryor Mountain Herd Management Area in Montana and brought down to the Pauls Valley holding Pens in Oklahoma. He was a little over fourteen hands, so the size of a large adult pony. He was seven years old and castrated when he was adopted by Taylor. The gelding sniffed the air and he stepped toward the trailer without hesitation. Tyler’s eyes widened and he held his breath, as did Lennon and Georgia as the little bay gelding jumped onto the stock trailer. It took all of five minutes from start to finish and Georgia had a feeling if Taylor had been standing there she would’ve burst out into tears, knowing that the horse she loved on for so long had decided he’d rather hop on a trailer and leave.
Lennon secured the back door and Ducati was quiet as they started up the truck. They headed back to Stillwater, mustang in tow. The entire ride, there was not a peep from Ducati. Georgia glanced over at one point, Tyler meeting her gaze.
“He knew we came to help him, Ty.” She said softly and he reached over the center console like he had last night, taking one of her hands in his. He agreed wholeheartedly.
When they arrived home, Tyler backed the trailer in and Ducati walked calmly off the trailer and into his new pen. He sniffed the air as they closed the gate and pulled the truck and trailer away. Jake and Sam had come out, as well as Dustin, and Ophelia had finished riding her horses. Georgia held her hand out, through the panel fencing and Tyler cautioned her, but he had no need to. Ducati walked over, touched her hand gently and then poked his nose toward her belly. His ears flicked back and forth and he let out a huge breath as if to say ‘okay, I’m okay now.’
“That ain’t the same horse.” Jake said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“No Jake, he just realized the same thing that we did. He’s safe here. He could feel it immediately.” Sam said softly as she hooked her arms around one of his biceps. Sam was right. Jake had felt the same feeling of comfort wash over him as soon as he’d stepped onto the property. 
Ducati inched closer to Georgia. He very carefully, very gently touched her belly with his opposable top lip and she felt Jaycen kick then. She took Tyler’s hand and placed it on her belly, as Ducati repeated his actions, as did Jaycen inside her womb. 
“That’s crazy.” Tyler said, his eyes wide as he watched the interaction between the supposedly skittish horse and his pregnant wife, or rather, his unborn son.
“I think he’s pickin’ his rider.” Georgia said, glancing up at Tyler with a smile.
“Yeah, well, he’s got a ways to go before they’re both ready for that, but...” Tyler reached out and rubbed the gelding’s nose very carefully. Ducati pricked his ears and nickered softly, though Tyler surmised it was not at him. It was definitely at Jaycen. “I guess sometimes all you need is a change of scenery, huh, bud?”
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strtravels · 1 day ago
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“An' where d'you wanna go as a foreign exchange student? – Want me to ring Uncle JP an' just tell 'im you’d love to move to Geneva to learn two more languages? I can't really see you bein' 'appy there neither, Gordy.” A gentle shake of his head; the joke caught and bringing a soft smile to his lips, too. – He understood how difficult it had to be for Gordy, in some way at least, and running away from a situation that was scaring you, wasn’t cowardly in his eyes; and sending Gordy back to school tomorrow had nothing to do with thinking it was the right thing to do, so his son didn’t turn out a coward. It was just the right thing to do. School was important. And well, you couldn’t just have those kids win, right? They couldn’t just go around and scaring other kids until they wouldn’t come back to school any more. PERHAPS he should talk to a teacher – but Gordy’s loud NO had taken his mind off this option for now. At some point he should, though. It couldn’t just go on like this. What if Gordy was just one of my kids, embarrassed and bullied for something that really wasn’t even a choice?
Furrowed his brows at his son’s reaction, but just nodded after a moment. “Alright – I’ll drop ya at school, then I’m off to work. No bleedin’ talkin’ to yer teachers. No havin’ a chat with the kids, sound? – I don’t even need to ask if I should chat with their parents, eh?” Another short smile, before he patted his son’s shoulder; a gesture supposed to say that things would be looking better in the morning, even though he knew it would be difficult, if not even impossible, for Gordy to believe it. He was young and for him, it had to look like the end of the world. School wasn’t always easy. It hadn’t been easy for himself, either. He remembered some comments. Some rude words that had buried themselves deep in his memories.
Sighed quietly at his own thoughts, before he pushed them aside and decided they had made enough circles around the same topic. Not much more left to say about it for now, right?
“Yeah, the livin' room it is, when yer mum’s up for 'em stayin' over. – It’s meant to rain tonight too, so I didn’t fancy you campin' outside an’ draggin' mud in when ya eventually come in, anyway. I still think Howie ain’t that fussed about campin', too. – An' you aren’t either, are ya? Not me brightest idea takin' you lot campin' last holiday, was it?” Chuckled at those memories. Rain-soaked tents and the sniffling of three boys sitting around a fire, because this hadn’t turned out like in one of their games at all – and wasn’t much like sleeping the night in the tree house or a tent in the garden either, where there was still access to the house and all its luxuries.
“ – But y’know what, ya can help me shift one of them sofas later to make a bit o’ space for you three, yeah? Get everything sorted. – I proper reckon yer mum’s not gonna say NO, if ya promise to behave this time, keepin’ yer bedtime an’ all that. – An’ just be ready ‘cause one of yer sisters is bound to ask for a sleepover next.” Another gentle laugh. He knew his kids. He knew the chaos that always just followed the previous chaos – and he wouldn’t want it any other way, would he? A life without any of the kids seemed impossible to imagine. Who would he be without them?
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Raising his hand to ruffle his son’s dark hair at his thought, there was another idea forming in his head. He could have thought about this a bit earlier, too! “An’ maybe I oughta ring Jean-Paul, like. You can hav’ a chat with ’im about this as well. It weren’t easy for ’im in the military, was it? Aye, he's a bit older than Artie, but that’s at least two people you can talk to.”
Gordy's been at that age where he feels like he doesn't need to discuss things with his parents very often for a while now. Some kid at school making comments? He can sort it by himself, doesn't need adult intervention ( at least not from home ). Issues with his homework or a teacher or a grade on a test? He can deal with it, doesn't need to delay going to bed in order to talk things through. Maybe it's a shame, but it doesn't feel like a major issue; he still talks to his parents about things, but when he does, it's because things are serious and / or he genuinely needs help to work something through.
Dad's always heard him out, no matter the issue, the time or the place --- Gordy's never not been able to talk to either of his parents, but especially his dad. This, though? This is uncharted territory for Gordy, anxiety-inducing on just how quickly the situation in the park had escalated to the point he'd just needed to escape and come home to the familiarity and safety just stepping through the front door could bring.
His eyes flick over to Dad's laptop and work pile when they're indicated, but he's too cried out by now to feel bad for interrupting; he's too cried out to do much more than slump down onto the tabletop, head resting on his arms as he watches his father pour out a glass of lemonade. Now that his emotions aren't running so high, he'd like nothing more than to crawl into bed, pull the covers up over his head and just sleep for a year, especially at the thought of returning to school to face those boys again tomorrow.
The disappointment of being denied homeschooling is, for the most part, for show; Gordy hadn't really expected anything else ( it's not the first time he's asked over the years ), but there's still some part of him that wishes that just this once, Dad would agree and he'd never have to go back to confront the reality of the afternoon. "But the foreign exchange is still on the table, right?" A joke that falls a little flat - Gordy takes a sip of lemonade and a couple of breaths, turning instinctively into the hand on his shoulder ( he hates to be the cause of Dad's serious expression ).
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"I just really don't want to go back tomorrow," he admits quietly, running a finger absently around the rim of his drinking glass, "even if Howie and Chloe are going to be there, and I'll see Josh and Sami after." The offer to have a word with Gordy's teachers is met, again, with a strong no! Christ, all he wants is one day to himself, one day to get his head straight and stop the sickening feeling of dread from taking over completely. Telling the teachers what had happened would only lead to more issues later on; the only way through this was to keep his head down and get good enough grades to go away to uni, really ( and it was shaping up to be a long couple of years ). "---Living room, please."
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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months ago
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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xamaxenta · 9 months ago
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Kind of whelmed
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szaryherbatnik · 1 month ago
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Tough day rambles
In a world with a different setting id be a prophet or a person with cool visions, id be a person worthy of protection and trust and friendship. Here im just paranoid and i worry about the wrong things. Somewhere else when i dance on my way to a shop everyone thinks im full of joy and whimsy and they dont think im drunk or childish. Somewhere else i can be around people for more than 5 hours before i shut down for the rest of the day. Somewhere else i dont remind everyone im stupid and dumb and i dont describe everything i do and feel as "slight" and "little" and "a bit", im able to love romantically and dream of tenderness and give it and recieve it. Idk i just hate myself a lot.
#period moment#im unable of feeling any positive emotion currently#but its true i am worthless#i always promise myself i wont enter new fandoms because in the end theyre just reminders of how ill never be cool and enough etc#i wish i had a confirmation that im not that bad#old man journalist who came to our uni said oooh i thought you were american with your accent and how much u use the word 'like'#i told him my vocabulary is just really really bad and he laughed but yeah omg what a way to tell me im dumb#and also guy from class texting me transphobic pro trump stuff just cause he wants me to give him arguments against what he says#why#just why#and im bad at german#and i havent started writing my article even tho i have over a month to do it#and i dont understand in between wars economics in germany#and i cant write my coalecroux and theres no point of continuing there are much better writers#everything i do is wrong and i dont understand what i should understand#disgusting uh i feel disgusting#my mom told me that her boyfriend got a “beautiful” christmas gift for me#dude why WHY would you buy me things that can be described as beautiful#i hate christmas#i just want to be somewhere else in a different world#i want to be in avantris i want to use magic i dont want to be human#i wish i was older because maybe when youre like 27 your opinions and feelings matter#but im over here rocking back and forth and sucking on a necklace like a fucking baby watching wizard of oz#how do you stop hating yourself i dont get it#i dont fuckinf understand anything#everything is clouded with my desire to be dead or somewhere else and its been like this for a decade i just want it to stop#goodnight i hope i dont fucking wake up i hope my cat scratches my stomach open and eats my body so im useful for something
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gifti3 · 2 months ago
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its been a long time since i found a game that had me excited for whats to come
this is a me thing that im talking about below... usually when i play games, its mainly about it preoccupying my brian with tasks and goals. this is why i gravitate towards sim and management games! to me thats whats enjoyable
i feel like its rare that i just play something just cause its fun to me if that makes sense. and i think infinity nikki is managing to do that like im not progressing through the story super quickly and kind of just letting myself explore, dress up and take pictures at my own pace and im really hoping it stays like this for me for a long time
#this doesnt apply to VNs btw i play those purely for story like 95% of the time lol#im mainly talking about games with actual moving gameplay if that makes sense#anyways im really excited for houses#im gonna fill mine with plushies if possible#but like seriously i feel the last time i felt like this was...#probably when i was a child and i first really started getting into mmos#stuff like toontown and pixie hollow and neopets online etc etc#maybe its just a me getting older thing but like...i really do just get into doing the tasks and consider that enough#and im not saying i dont like doing tasks and like setting goals for myself (i like these types of games)#or that i dont play for other reasons too like story#its just nice to switch it up sometimes and just be in the experience and not thinking about what i need to do next#and tbf there have been times when im dragged into game for task reasons when thats not the point of the game!#unfortunately ffx1v was one of those games for me#so i didnt see the point of paying monthly you know#honestly if it wasnt subscription based id probably play more but id like touch the game once or twice a week to make progress#or play with friends#since i wasnt really getting pulled into the world#then for time princess its become more about doing dailies and collecting stuff#my otome gachas i still have...i dont even read the stories anymore i just log in to complete dailies so i can collect cards#tw/st im there for the story but it still falls into me mainly logging in everyday to complete tasks and lvl up cards#since im not always in the mood for reading the story#i think with nikki im gonna have to definitely let myself not log in EVERYDAY to do dallies#once the initial exitement goes away#i should just play when the mood strikes so it doesnt become another game i log in to everyday for those dailies#im not too worried about it because like i said im not desperately trying to get through the story and collect stuff#and im fine getting whatever clothes i happen to get while playing#but still that daily stuff can become tedious and is part of the reason i dropped d33pspace even though i liked it#if ur not careful before u know it a game becomes a chore#and fomo has an easier time setting in#infinity nikki
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fanglesshound666 · 2 months ago
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sorry if this is terribly offensive but I dont get why the "men are bad" jokes (as long as they ARE jokes) are inherently bad
#I personally don't do them#But as a transman it never occurred to me that I should take offense abt them#Maybe its cuz i dont have much actual experience with others perceiving me as a transman and have others say things about it#But to me saying that is like telling people from latam to stop making jokes about gringos#Because then they'll have a “justification” to be racist and xenophobic to us#Like i saw a post the other day abt a guy saying “ooof being alt-right and thus being a bigot sounds SO tempting but i dont do it anyways”#And everynyan was like so true oomf#Like idk props to the guy for not being a bigot#But like. Wdym#Like to me “men are bad jokes” have always been against the Abstract Social Figure of A Man that the patriarchy benefits and not like#Actual men individually#Maybe that is just me not getting the intentions behind some of the jokes and ive been misunderstanding all this time#Like half of the people in my life (there are like. 7 which cannot be devided by 2) are men#Maybe when i transition and become older ill get it#If u want to discuss ill really appreciate it#Dear god the last thing i want to be is a terf#Please tell me if ive been brainwashed by terfs#I do understand that terms like “man” “woman” “nonbinary” and such essentially dont mean anything#And that everyone (including cis people) have a different gender because the gender binary isn't real#Which is why i identify as a bi gaybian#Maybe thas it y'know#Like last month there was an event in the country organized by the only queer group here#That was “women and nonbinary” only#Like. What does that mean. Like have u ever wondered what that means#They should invent a costarrican queer group that isn't so white queerish
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organised-disaster · 9 months ago
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Okay I'm working on snowbird chapter 2
I hope people actually read it considering seven of them voted for me to keep writing it when I asked them
#announcement#i guess#snowbird#snowbird chapter 2 is im uhhere i er well#im like. 49% done#i hope people read it i really do#i establish the protags relationship with her older sister in chapter 2 itll be great#therell be guilt the protags bestie has a fraternal relationship with the protags older sister would you read that please read that im beggi#also just read part of mockingjay that derails my whole plot BUT ITS OKAY the plot holes have saved me#it says that finnick odair was a mentor during the 74th games but that doesnt check out because he won during 65 but annie casta won in 70#meaning annie casta won the most recently but wasnt a mentor??? but annie is known for not being stable SO#that means that if a mentor is unfit to train new tributes they can be replaced by a more capable one WHICH MEANS#despite the timelines making one of my characters the most recent district 4 victor if she has a psychotic breakdown she wont mentor#so now i have to find a way to traumatise her enough that her progress going back to normal just flies out the window#fortunately the reaping happens in winter the arena was full of snow theres a point where she falls in a frozen lake she lives in district 4#hmmmmmm and maybe she gets cut. maybe blood on snow reminds her of things that she doesnt want to be reminded of. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmnnnm#it happens in winter cause its in the middle of the year. winter is in the middle of the year. catching fire has the reaping midyear (?)#look dont ask me about my timelines just enjoy it okay
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quietwingsinthesky · 10 months ago
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thinks about child-but-growing-fast amara and lucifer in the same room and gets ill.
#im gonna get called a homestuck again im SORRY its a good trope#she’s not his mom but she is. older than him and older than god and a being he helped imprison.#and the effects of that. here and now. are that she is so weak she has to relearn how to exist.#that she has to eat souls. tear them out one by one. you have to imagine that lucifer once saw her devour whole galaxies on a whim.#back when everything was moving in constant flux between destruction and creation. you have to imagine.#what is it to see her like this. is it pitiable. awful. comforting because she can’t hurt him right now and if he struck first maybe she#never could?#would he think about this moment this experience later when he’s made human. when he experiences a similar powerlessness.#anyway. lucifer gets out of the cage and trashes crowley’s place to kidnap his aunt-who-is-baby-right-now#u know me i love when characters go on the run together. what a weird little bond they’d form.#how do you overcome the anger at someone who helped cage you for eternity? does it help to know he didn’t escape your fate just because he#helped seal it when it was you? do you think they trade cage stories.#do you think lucifer tells her about how michael is still trapped in there and when he goes quiet. it’s not him who says he’s glad michael#knows what it’s like. it’s amara who says it. with an anger older than time. bitter enough to sting.#arms curled around herself because she’s hungry now. always hungry. tries not to think about what lucifer would taste like. (powerful)#sitting on a bench together watching people (souls. meals.) walk by. talking about prisons. talking about justice. maybe. or revenge. same#thing. and amara is leaning against him coiled tight through every muscle in her body and so so hungry. and when she says she’s glad michael#is suffering she isn’t really talking about him. but when she says it. lucifer lets out a breath. and says. me too.#and then he goes to find her something(one) to eat.#u see my vision. u do.
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skeletalheartattack · 1 year ago
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happy almost birthday :o)
:) thank you!!! there's gonna be a bounce castle at my birthday party and every body is invited
#ask#catboygirljoker#ough.... the passage of time marches on.#on that tuesday i will be 25. fucked up.#i dont really do much for my birthdays honestly. besides my mom taking me out to a restaraunt to eat.#on the day of i just get a good pizza and thats enough for me#a friend did recently offer to get me a desktop computer. and the tower has been here since thursday.#im currently waiting on the monitor. which should arrive in a few days.#im. really bad at accepting gifts. that said. even after having accepted this one im still experiencing grief#the computers an older model. but it runs on windows 10.#im. internally scared to think about what it can and cant run. i even dread thinking about even finding out.#like. ohhhh how id love to play animal crossing city folk again... or even minecraft...#but im doing. my best. to keep my expectations low.#i really hope it runs emulators (gamcube/wii/ps2 era ones) well. i need to play dbz budokai again i need to look at zarbons model again#the monitor is 1080p. which i dont think ive ever had a monitor that high res.#ik that TF2 probably wont run the best. but i hope sourcemods run fine.#ill have to do so much re-installing of things....... ogh.....#it doesnt have a wifi chip so i think temporarily ill have to use a usb to connect to the internet.#which i can live with. ik theyre not as powerful but its fine. maybe at some point ill get a wifi card.#though. i dread the thought <- had internal ptsd thinking about touching anything within a computer again#tldr. had a good laptop. screen went dark one day. was told it was probably the cmos battery.#tried to do repairs myself. ooggh..... the horrible memories....#ik adding a wifi chip is incredibly easy. but that doesnt mean im not scared#anyway :) thank you for the soon birthday wishes
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technikki · 2 years ago
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i adore thinking about the fucked up tpn stuff that was either not considered during the writing process or deliberately left unexplored.
tpn really said 'each house has about 6 shipments and receives about 6 new children to replace them each year. the minimum age a child can be shipped out is 6. tpn begins with conny's shipment in october, after which dominic is the only remaining 6 year-old at the house' without even considering the implications of that. how about 'we know literally nothing about anyone from the age group between anna+nat's and thoma+lanni's groups because theyre all gone by the time the story starts' also literally no one ever brings them up. or my personal favorite of 'isabella painstakingly hand-made little bunny for conny's 6th birthday. conny turned 6 in september, about a month before she was shipped out' like do you think isabella was at least a little pissed about that. i like to think she was
#skye's ramblings#its totally my love of unexplored side characters but. i do get a little unwell over dominic sometimes#like. hello??? its like a well-established thing that kids in the same age group usually have closer bonds w eachother than others#youare telling me. he watched all 5 of what were probably his closest friends leave in the span of a year. this is what you are telling me#i mean maybe yvette could be considered part of his age group since they were technically born the same year??#but her birthday is also literally new years eve n shes usually grouped in w the 5 year-olds as a result#also the shipment record in the anime says that hao and sadie were 6 but the 2 kids that left before them were 7#so maybe dominics age group was just particularly small but. he still watched them all leave in a very short amount of time#canot imagine how his conversation w don and gilda abt the escape went. god this series can fit so much childhood trauma in it#also w how close thoma and lanni are dominic and conny were also probably really close due to being the only ones left of their group#thinking abt don n dominic bonding amd sharing happy memories of conny. ijust live for older/younger gracefield kid interactions#also shamelessly stealing rachels hc of ray using his photograpic memory to share happy memories of everyone who died at gracefield#ithink dominic would really like hearing abt his friends from ray. especially happy/funny stuff he was too young to remember#and also literally any interaction w ray n the younger kids is everything to me. oh hes healing hes a good big brother... dont talk to me#'this is all most likely just a plothole' well where you see a plothole i see a GOLDMINE OF TRAUMA AND CHARACTER DYNAMIC EXPLORATION. anywa
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