#but ive got a lot of emotions today and its not bad

[eunhos]

.

[greyedian]

google search how to talk about a character without feeling like a dumb stupid fucking idiot

[miriamundertale]

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[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write some scar fluff/comfort? As in kissing slashers scars (And trying to not get stabbed /hj) or vise versa? Maybe with Jason, Micheal, Brahms, and Thomas? (Feel free to change them up)

Kissing their scars (Jason, Brahms, Thomas and Michael)

and the days writing begins! hoping to get a lot done, even if a lot of it wont be posted today to avoid spam- wooo!! notes: reader is gn, you kiss their scars, michaels part is admittedly short mostly due to the admin still not totally used to writing for him yet- havent quite felt ive got his personality down cws: healed injuries, nothing intense but i like to be safe than sorry

JASON

he has more than his fair share of scars, and honestly? hes not all that worried about them, hes not ashamed of them- he takes them as a sign that hes been doing well with protecting his space as well as you

still open to you kissing them, theres lots to choose from.... hes got them on his hands, his back, shoulders, youre sure if you look there would be a scar somewhere

the moment is so tender that he may shutter a little with some emotion, being slightly more emotive than he normally is

take his hand and press his scarred knuckles to your mouth for a gentle kiss and hes going to be melting in your grasp

its not much different than the kisses you press onto his mask but the intention feels different- if that makes sense.. hes bad at describing things...

BRAHMS

does not like his scars at all- he thinks they look unsightly and they feel uncomfortable against his skin thats not scarred over

covers most of them with his mask and clothing, but you can see some splotches here and there

he... doesnt quite know how to feel about it when you kiss them, but hes not going to deny himself the extra attention and affection that youve giving him

with time he may grow to accept them; whether or not he stops covering them up is a totally different thing, though...

one thing is still the same, the second you give him some extra loving hes going to expect that to be the new normal- surely you wont mind cuddling into him while trailing kisses up and down his body where his scars reside!

MICHAEL

similar to jason, he doesnt mind his scars all that much... in fact he doesnt care about them at all, and you probably wouldnt have known he had them if you didnt see him without his usual coveralls on

shows no visible reaction to you lightly pressing kisses to the scars he lets you get close enough- usually reserved to the ones on his hands hes gotten from minor burns or nicks

does not seek affection, but its a good sign that hes not pulling away or otherwise getting you to stop... because if he truly wasnt interested in it he wouldnt indulge you

doesnt quite understand the sentiment behind kissing his (now healed) wounds but you do you

THOMAS

you make him feel better about his looks, youre always uplifting him so you kissing along his face- especially concentrating it around where his nose once was- makes him feel.. nice

it does come as a little surprise at first, though, not that he thinks youre revolted or not fully willing to show your devotion and love for him... its more so the act never crossed his mind until you did it

youre cupping his head in your hands, fingers lightly tangled in his hair... perhaps even massaging his scalp as you lean in for another kiss

truly he is in heaven as you give him all of your love, youve never seen someone look at you with so much love in their eyes... much less look at you like that

it does make him more willing to take his masks off around you, now fully reassured that you dont mind his appearance at all and that you like the face he was given

[itsalwaysdark]

theres like fr something in the water abt cadaver w long hair. also im blaming this on the fact im listening to nine inch nails. but guys has anybody thought about cadaver and scientist...

lord this edibles crazy i thought i was getting over it and then i wanted to do more cas in the sims and i basically just made a copy of cadaver and then spun him in circles for like A while. it was way more fun than it shouldve been

[devondespresso]

Wiggy Wednesday🧠🪱 - A Robin (Buckley) Hood au

tagged by @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @shares-a-vest and @hotluncheddie Thanks guys!!! 💕🫂💝

continue-the-game tags at the bottom, you guys absolutely don't have to read this whole thing for it, it won't hurt my feelings cause this thing got long sgnxgnxnh

💚>> EDIT: @carolperkinsexgirlfriend expanded on the aro robin thing and its literal perfection!! <<💚

tbh the past few days ive felt like i was loosing my spark a bit (could be a medication thing now that i think about it) so the plans for today are to rewatch some really damn good motion pictures, feel some emotions probably, and go from there.

having said that, i was able to put together a fun little idea about Robin Stranger Things as Robin Hood, Steve and Little John, either Vickie or Chrissy as Maid Marian. Chrissy would fit the secretly badass princess type very well, thinking princess peach in the mario movie, while vickie would be slightyyy more tough girl princess, thinking fiona from the first shrek. I'm not like a huge fan of slapping character names into roles just because, so i think most antagonists would be of the robin-hood-world and some might get left out. Dustin and Erica would be there, possibly as merry men, or i also think itd be cool to mix another vaguely-medieval story that fits the kids group better, have it be something in the backstory or future or something like a story living in the edges of this one. Eddies also an easy fit as the minstrel and could be tied to chrissy's story too if you want

im not planning on writing anything for it, but the story ideas that are jumping out to me rn are mostly characters meeting/origin stories. Steve and Robin meet early on in her outcastery, Robin in jail for stealing and Steve also locked up close by either for something outrageously stupid or something definitely illegal but for the sake of his little brother and friends. They swap stories and then swap even more jokes and fun banter. Either Robin loops him in on her plan to break out, or Dustin and Erica come to break Steve out during her escape and they all team up. Maybe a little part where they visit Dustin and friends, let him know Steve's fine even tho him and Robin are fugitives, maybe Dustin tries to follow them but they have to send him back until he's old enough to move out, an emotional "we're not gone forever" talk, concluding with Robin and Steve heading off to camp in the woods and figure out what's next. maybe robin comes out here, maybe steve had confessed and whatnot similar to the show, maybe robin just needed to establish that she's not into him before they started adventuring just the two of them. Maybe she mentions her future plans, to stay firmly on the laws bad side, maybe to reunite with the lady she found at the edge of palace gardens, something that would make the road alongside her rougher than his already will be, and Steve chooses to join her anyway.

also a romantic subplot with Chrissy or Vickie.

if its chrissy, i think itd go similarly to the disney movie (relative to vickie's anyway), chrissy has her princessy life and through circumstance (maybe an archery contest, maybe they run into each other, probably a combination of run-ins) they meet and are into each other, maybe Robin crossdresses and after she's revealed to be a girl Chrissy's head over heels, maybe Chrissy runs away, maybe robin wins her favor, lots of fun princess tropes to play with.

with vickie, i keep leaning into the Fiona-style angle where she very much doesn't care to be in a royal setting, not rejecting femininity just spinning the princess archetype on its head. So maybe she's a runaway, maybe she rescued herself, or maybe she faked her death or something extreme, and she runs into robin (maybe robins disguised and she looks extra rougish, maybe vickie had only heard bad stories about her) and they fight. if vickie wins she notices in her victory robins actual personality, realizes shes not aggressive like expected and they talk, and if robin wins she does a mercy thing, maybe disarms her to get enough time to run off and vickies like 🤨mysterious🤨 or they spark up conversation. Maybe part of Robins group comes in either ready to defend her or diffuse the situation and their appearance soon splits the fight. lots and lots to play with. one way or another vickie tags along or joins the group, she and robin fall in love, yippee

aaaand third option: polyarmory, where chrissy joins the group first, they run into vickie second, and the three of them fall in love.

fourth option: aro robin (lol get it. cause. arrows.) who picks up princesses (plus steve too) like its her job and those princesses fall in love

r*nance (* for search because this isn't exactly abt them, NOT to be a dick about it) could work too ig but its not my jam so im not diving into that angle

i also love the idea of expanding robins relationship with any of the kids (Dustin and especially Erica, because scoops troop has solid character dynamic potential thats barely touched. Robin and Max too, and it'd make sense to bring in Lucas too with his ties to both Erica and Max)

if this gives anyone else brainworms and you want to write it, absolutely go for it, i know im definitely not going to sit down and write scenes or anything for it, and if you're comfortable tag me so i can read it!!

_

for Wiggy Wednesday im tagging (no pressure ofc): @starry-eyed-steve @marvel-ous-m @lightoftheseraph @pearynice @puppy-steve

@tinytalkingtina @dreamwatch @flowercrowngods @withacapitalp @writing-kiki

@queenie-ofthe-void @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @eriquin @hairstevington @sunflowerharrington

@imfinereallyy @sourw0lfs

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 6: THE MONSTER

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: We have another Lucas/Diana scene with complex emotions! I kinda feel bad for Diana. She's going through so much personally on her own but she's putting on a brave face while also trying to fix everything by trying to find Barb. It's a lot for a 15-year old to deal with.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 3082

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV

SINCLAIR RESIDENCE 

“Diana.” 

I snap open my eyes lurching forward in panic only to smack my head against something hard. 

“Ow!” 

“Son of a bitch!” 

Lucas curses stumbling backward. My head hurts so much it’s developing a pulse. 

“What the heck, Diana!” Lucas snaps, holding his head. 

“Why were you hovering over me like that?” I grumble, rubbing my forehead tenderly. I’m too tired to scold Lucas for swearing.

“Mom told me to wake you. Everyone is downstairs eating breakfast.” I groan flopping back onto my pillow. I don’t know what time I fell asleep or even when I did. But looking down I see I slept on my sheets with no blanket. All I remember is figuring out—I lurch forward again and Lucas flinches. “What’s the matter with you!?” 

I ignore him crawling to the foot of my bed and sure enough, files and papers are scattered across my room. I push my tangled curls out my face, climbing off my bed and crouch in front of my papers. Everything came rushing back. The monster is a true predator and attacks based on primal instinct. We need to lure it to us with blood.

“Diana?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes, of course.” I reply, organizing my notes. “Why do you ask?” I need to call Nancy and then we can get Jonathan to help us find the thing. 

“You’re mumbling to yourself like Sméagol.” 

I scrunch my nose, putting a small stack of papers in its respective file. “Sméagol?”  

“Gollum.” Lucas sighs. 

I stop what I’m doing and squint at him. “Gollum?”

Lucas rolls his eyes, waving his hand. “Never mind.” 

I shrug, returning back to my task. Where can we lure the monster? It can’t be in the forest, that’s where it lives, at least that’s where it lives where it came from. To have the upper hand, we need to trap it in an enclosed space where it can’t attack us. But where? Hawkins is a small town, there’s nowhere to put this thing without drawing attention to ourselves—

“What’s with the flowers?”

I snap my head to the side not expecting Lucas to still be in my room, especially after our collision. I blink. Flowers? Oh. I close the filing bin stumbling toward the dresser. The flowers Eddie got me are in a small jar of water. I was so spooked out last night I didn’t notice them. That also means Mom was in my room yesterday. I trace a finger along a petal and the butterflies flutter in my stomach. Suddenly the petals of the flowers turn to teeth and I recoil snapping my hand back. 

“Seriously, Diana. What the heck is wrong with you?” 

I open my eyes and the flowers are just flowers. No teeth. Just flowers. “Nothing. I’m fine.” I back away rubbing my head. The throbbing pain has turned to a dull ache. 

“Are you sure?” Lucas asks. “You seem…” I arch my brow waiting for him to finish the sentence. A momentary look of discomfort crossed his face and he decides against saying what he really wants to say. “Chipper.” 

“Ha. Ha.” I deadpan. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, if that’s what you’re referring to.” 

“I can tell.” Lucas mumbles under his breath. I ignore his comment going into my closet to find clothes to wear for the day. 

From the corner of my eye, I see the trash bag with my soiled clothes in the corner and my heart begins to beat slow and heavy in my chest. I need to figure out how to get rid of that without being questioned. I lick my lips and clear my throat sifting through my clothes. “Tell mom, I’ll be down soon. I’m just freshening up.” 

Today we are going kill the thing and find Will and Barb. Then everything will be okay and life can return to normal. I can go back to dance and be the best damned Lead Marzipan Hawkins has ever seen. However, I need to find an outfit to start this chain of events. I find a pair of old denim overalls Mom gave to me from when she was a teenager. They’re a little big but comfy. I pull a plaid button up shirt and rummage through my shelf where I keep my long sleeve tops and pick out a white long-sleeved shirt. Throwing my clothes over my shoulder, I crouch down to my knees looking for a pair of sneakers. After all that running I did last night in boots, I need to be prepared today. Classic black and white converse it is. 

I am surprised to still see Lucas in my room when I drop my clothes on my bed. He’s staring at the flowers on my dresser and I hope he doesn’t ask about them again. I’ve already been interrogated by Erica. I pass him to get to my dresser finding a pair of socks to put on. It is not uncommon for Lucas to be in my room while I’m doing something. Usually, he’s lying down on my bed reading a comic book explaining what’s happening to me even though we both know I have no idea what he’s talking about or I’m practising a variation asking him for his opinion on what looks better. But right now, my room feels the same way his room felt on Monday. Cold. Lucas is right beside me yet, I feel miles away from him. 

I tilt my head to the side, studying my brother. Though intensely calm, his dark brown eyes held the smallest hints of concern. When he rubs the back of his head wincing in discomfort, my big sister alarm immediately goes off. 

“What’s wrong?” Lucas stiffens at the question and my eyes go wide. I march to him reaching out to touch his head. Lucas leans back, frowning up at me. 

“What are you doing?” He grunts, nostrils flaring.  

“What happened to your head?” 

Lucas presses his lips together as though holding back what he really wanted to say. I tuck a curl behind my ear and sigh, leaning beside him. 

“If something happened to you at the Wheeler’s—” 

“Nothing happened.” Lucas grumbles, stubbornly. 

“Okay, well, something did happen or else you wouldn’t be here still. I’m awake now.” 

“Fine. I’ll go then.” He grumbles, marching to my door. My jaw drops and I rush after him blocking his path. 

“Lucas!” 

I’m so confused and after my near-death experience, lack of sleep, and head trauma, my patience is running thin. I clasp my hands together closing my eyes and count down from five in my head. “I’m just trying to help,” I say as calmly as possible, opening my eyes. “You know you can tell me anything.” Lucas doesn’t say anything, but the line between his forehead disappears. “Is it about Will? I know the past few days have been hard and I am so sorry if I haven’t been there for you as much. But I’m here for you, you know that right?” 

Lucas looks down, twisting his mouth. “I know,” he mumbles. “It’s just…” 

“What?” 

I can see the cogs turning in his head. It’s like he’s fighting within himself about something and it worries me. Usually, I am in tune and hyper aware of his emotions and what’s happening in his life, but with everything that’s going on with Barb and what happened in the woods, I feel like I’ve fallen off in being there for him. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” He whispered. 

I swallow down the lump forming in my throat and pull him in my arms. On instant, Lucas hugs me back and I inhale his boyish scent of coconut and the outdoors. We’re going to find Will and bring him back, I promise. 

“You’ve always been there for me.” Lucas mumbles. “I don’t want you to feel like you haven’t. You’re always worried about me and how I’m doing, but Barb is missing too, I heard mom and dad talking about it. I’m here for you too, you know.” I bite my lower lip and squeeze him tighter. 

As a big sister, my biggest fear is not being there for Erica and Lucas when they need me, especially if something is wrong. There is this pressure to be perfect and put together; to be a role model to them. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. To hear Lucas say that, makes me want to tell him what happened to me last night, but I decide against it. I need to keep him and everyone in this house safe.   

Lucas went downstairs after and I freshened up in the bathroom. When I made my way down to the kitchen with the trash bag and backpack in hand. I discreetly place it at the corner by the staircase behind the island, out of sight before making my presence known.  

“Good morning,” I greet, pulling my flannel shirt up on my shoulder. I must’ve taken longer than I realized because everyone was cleaning up. Erica stood beside Mom on a stool helping her pack the dishwasher while Lucas and Dad cleared the table.  

“Morning.” 

“Morning, sweetheart.” 

“What’s up with your hair?” Erica comments, scrunching her nose.

Leave it to Erica to point out every small detail. I was in a rush and didn’t have time to do my hair like I usually do, wetting my hands and combing my curls through with my fingers. I didn’t think I looked that bad. I frown patting my hair down. It did feel a little more voluminous than usual.  

“She looks fine.” Mom assures, giving Erica a look. My sister makes a face that says “if you say so”, dunking a plate in soapy water. 

“I made you a plate,” Dad says, pushing a bowl of yogurt and berries, on a plate with bacon and toast. I glance at the bacon on my plate, cringing and pick up the toast instead.

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

I sit down scooping my spoon in my yogurt. My stomach gurgles. I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten. It’s been a whirlwind of chaos that keeps getting more and more deep. Lucas scrapes leftover food into the trash handing Erica the plate to douse in soapy water to give to Mom who is packing the dishwasher. My eyes wander back and forth between everyone; at their normalcy. I miss when things were normal and I was going to rehearsals and hanging out with Nancy and Barb. Not figuring out where she went, what took her and how to kill it. 

I glance at Dad as he wipes down the table. I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon when he drove Lucas to the Wheeler’s house after the funeral. Since the funeral I am positive Mom has filled Dad in with what has been happening in the house the past couple of days. Hopefully not about Steve nor Eddie. Although, I don’t think so or else Dad would’ve said something or at least alluded to it. He is less confrontational than Mom. I can tell he’s being cautious and giving Lucas and I the space to process our losses, but I know he has questions. Dad looks at Mom and she nods her head. Dad sighs, wiping his hands in a dish towel. 

“Lucas and Erica can you excuse us? Your mom and I would like to talk to Diana alone.”

“You can talk to Diana, Dad. I promise you won’t even know I’m here.” Erica smiles, scooping up suds. Lucas rolls his eyes. 

Dad doesn’t say anything, waiting for Erica to leave the kitchen. Erica drops the act stepping down from the stool, not without grumbling to herself and Dad softly hits her head with the dishtowel before handing it to her to wipe her hands. Lucas looks at me wondering what’s going on following Erica into the living room. I shrug. Mom and Dad have never both wanted to talk to me about something and the yogurt in my mouth feels like lead. I chew slowly on a piece of strawberry eying my parents. Mom sits down beside Dad, both of them share a glance. 

“What’s wrong?” My stomach is in knots. Dad clears his throat. 

“We got a call last night from Officer Callahan,” he begins, looking me in my eyes so I know it’s serious and important. I stop eating. “He said they found Barb’s car at a bus station a few miles away.” I swallow staring at my Dad repeating what he said over and over again. Each time makes my blood boil. 

It doesn’t make sense. Barb’s car cannot be at a bus station miles away because Nancy and I saw it three blocks away from Steve’s house the day after we found out she was missing. A car does not magically disappear like that. Something’s wrong. I shake my head dropping my fork on my plate. 

“No.”

“Sweetheart, I know this is difficult to hear.” Mom starts. 

“No.” I slam my hands on the table. I don’t miss the way Mom flinches or the way Dad’s eye grow wide at my sudden outburst.  

“Diana.” Dad warns. 

“No, you don’t understand. Nancy and I saw her car the next day. It was in the exact same spot we parked the night before we went to Steve’s house!” 

Dad looks at me as if I’ve grown two heads. “Who is Steve and why were you in his house?” I clench my hands into fists grinding my teeth so hard they might crack. 

“It doesn’t matter who Steve is!” I shout. “What matters is that something is wrong. Barb didn’t run away. You know her. She’s not like that and she wouldn’t do that without telling Nancy and I!” 

Mom gives me a look that says I’m going to be calm and patient, but don’t push it. “Diana there’s no need to yell. We understand—” 

“No, you don’t! Nobody understands! Nobody cares!” My voice is shaky and I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I have never been so frustrated in my life. Barb is missing and everyone is acting like she left on her own. No. She was taken by that thing in the woods, but I can’t tell anyone because I’m still trying to wrap my head around what I saw and where I was. “Where are the search parties for Barb? The whole town was looking for Will, but what about Barb?” I cry. “What about Barb?”

The doorbell rings and I wipe my eyes suddenly feeling hyper aware of where I am and what I said. Mom and Dad stare at me, bewildered into silence. 

“I got it!” Lucas shouts. I hear grumbles between he and Erica probably fighting over who can get to the door first. 

“Diana!” Erica won the fight. “It’s Nancy!” 

I push my chair back, rushing to the corner by the staircase where I hid my backpack and the trash bag. Quickly wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I hoist my backpack over my shoulder, snatch the trash bag and march to the front door. I can hear chairs scraping against the floor and two sets of footsteps following after me. 

“Where are you going?” Mom asks. 

I excuse myself passing Lucas and Erica avoiding eye contact. Shame eats away at me for my outburst, but I ignore it pulling my shoulders back and standing tall. My whole family is gathered by the door watching me. 

“To hang out with Jonathan and Nancy again.” I sniff. “I’ll be home later.” I open the front door and Nancy is waiting patiently. Her lips spread to a smile, but it falters upon seeing my face and my family behind me.  

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair.” 

I stomp down the steps down my long driveway where Jonathan is parked on the street. I hear Nancy jogging to catch up with me. 

“Are you okay—what’s that?” 

“My clothes and shoes from last night.” 

“Oh.” I open the lid to the trash bin at the end of my driveway and drop the bag inside albeit a little rough. “Are you okay?” 

I let out a sigh, running my fingers through my hair. “My parents just told me that Officer Callahan called. They found Barb’s car at a bus station.” 

“What? How is that possible? We saw her car!” 

“I know,” I huff, marching to Jonathan’s car. “It doesn’t make any sense and no one is listening to us. Nobody cares! We’re truly on our own and I’m so…frustrated.” 

“We are alone and it sucks, but it’s better off with just us knowing what’s happening.” Nancy explains, opening the car door. “I have a theory on how we can kill that thing.” I open the back seat door climbing into the car. I return the half-smile Jonathan shows me before realizing he’s in the same clothes he wore last night. “I was looking through my biology textbook,” Nancy continues, before I can question him. “And this thing is a true predator and hunts alone like a bear. I also has a strong sense for blood like a shark. We can lure it to us with—” 

“Blood.” I finish, getting myself comfortable. “I was thinking about how it hunts too.” I push forward leaning on the centre console. “When we were in the forest, it didn’t notice us behind it when it was eating that deer which means it hunts based off pure instinct. It’s vicious in its hunting style. It waits for prey to draw near before it overwhelms it by ambushing. In order to catch it we need to think like it. Use its foraging behaviour against it.” Jonathan and Nancy stare at me processing my small rant. Jonathan looks thoroughly impressed and Nancy looks concerned. I rub my lips together, shrugging my shoulders. “I didn’t sleep either.” 

“It’s strongest in the woods, where it lives. We’ll have to draw it to us.” Nancy finishes. 

“Trap it. Kill it.” I confirm. 

“We know what to do, but how do we do it?” Jonathan asks, looking between us. The car is quiet for a minute while we all think. A baseball bat, a gun and a mallet isn’t enough to lure the thing to us. We need equipment and a contained space to trap it. I lean back grabbing my backpack.

“How much cash do we all have?” 

NEXT -> PART IV

Taglist 🤍: @tinydramatist

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for leaving a voice chat without telling my friends why

(were all adults)

recently me and a few friends started voice chatting every day in the evening, but ive noticed my mood dipping a lot at those times lately. today was another low point. we didnt have anything to do, so one of my friends (L) suggested watching a new show together, but i didnt really feel like watching it yet and the other friend in the vc at the time (K) didnt really reply. So we ended up playing a game together instead, and i got annoyed at something small so i told them id be gone for a moment to listen to loud music (since that usually helps me calm down/distract my brain from whatever got me feeling weird before). When i came back to the vc, I tried telling them why i got in a bad mood but they kinda brushed it off and i didnt feel like they were taking me seriously at all.

we kept playing for a bit but then i asked L to start a new topic so i could distract myself from bad thoughts and they suggested the show again, which i denied bc i really wasnt in the mood to watch it at that time. Then L started talking about how im often the one to suggest watching stuff together and they always say yes, but im never in the mood to watch anything they suggest. i started feeling even worse and asked if we can watch it together another time bc i really wasnt feeling it at the moment (i was also starting to cry but i dont think they noticed). L said that im always saying no or pushing stuff they suggest to another day and how a few years ago when we were both still in puberty i often suggested stuff and was 'always immediately in a bad mood' when they said no.

all of that wasnt helping my brain at that moment at all so i tried a few more times to kind of explain my pov and asked if we can watch it another time but they kept going on about how im 'always like that'. i was kind of spiraling the whole time and at some point i couldnt hold my thoughts back anymore and yelled back at L and told them that 'its really great to hear that weve been friends for years but this one thing i do was and is always annoying to you and you hate that i am like that and you hate everything i do and you hate me anyway' and stormed out of my room while knocking a lot of stuff over.

when i had calmed down a bit and could actually think properly again i was lying in the dark on my kitchen floor and after some minutes i got myself to get up, go back to my pc and turn if off (i had knocked down a monitor and some other stuff during my emotional reaction/escape before).

but when i did, i saw that my other screen showed me as still in the game, so i was probably still in the vc too while i was gone until i came back to turn off my pc, which probably means that after i left they tried to explain themselves and took me not replying as being bitchy or hurt about it until i turned the pc off (and left the vc), but i cant know for sure. Right now, K and L are still in the vc doing other stuff together but i dont feel well enough to message either of them or rejoin or do anything about it yet, my mind is kind of just blank.

but the tiny part of me that has the ability to think right now feels really bad about overreacting again and assuming that they hate me and just leaving without giving them the chance to explain themselves and then just turning off the pc without telling them anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[charlieslowartsies]

the reason why my August vacation is so important...

This is a long, kinda emotional for me journal <3

As I mentioned a while ago, I was splitting my usual two weeks in June of debauchery (sleeping & laying in the sun & hiking in the woods outback lol) into one week last month and then saved the last week for the end of August.

I also wanted to explain the significance of this trip! Less about having to justify my time off and more about 'eeee excite omg!' and wanted to share with y'all!

SO a long time ago when I was a wee Charlie, from age 0 up to 21, I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mom's side. My nana died when I was 15, and while that took a huge toll on me, I was fortunate enough to have my grandpa till 21. These two people were absolutely second parents. My parents did a good enough job raising me, but they had huge fights and my father had anger issues and it caused a lot of wounds. These were the people I could always rely on, when I couldn't rely on my folks.

They lived 2 hours away on a wonderful lake in a lil tiny trailer over looking it. I spent weeks at a time there, even the occasional month. I learned to swim in that lake, which in hindsight prolly wasn't the safest idea due to its depth, and grew up to be obsessed with swimming. Learned how to sail, ski, fish. Learned how to bake, tend a garden, how a fresh bowl of fruit in the morning should be before breakfast.

We'd swim 3x a day, sometimes just to float and cool down before bed, since there was no a/c and the summer nights were hot. Laid on our backs and counted stars like the Lion King. Fried trout on the grill after we'd caught them, had watermelon seed spittin' contests. My grandpa grew pumpkins and carved my name into one, so that the writing grew bigger and bigger over the months. I had one pumpkin live from September to April.

My handprint is on the last cement step leading down to the beach. It was eroded when we scattered my grandpa's ashes in 2014, but I remember where it was, how to place my palm to compare.

I guess I'd say I had a mixed childhood of various great, good, bad, and horrible things. Like most people, yanno? But those golden summer days on the lake were 100% a part of who I am today, and where my many of my happiest memories come from.

Due to me being in college, cost to heat the place in winter when they had no intention of living there, my family sold the property on the lake to an investor who planned to rent it out.

This was 2014. The same year he died, the same year my horse died (within 2 months of each other) and one of my father's many health issues landed him in the hospital from Oct to Dec, so that he spent xmas on an iv stand. With everything going on, we had no time or money for a big dinner, or presents that year.

I guess that was the first year I realized childhood was truly and officially over, and it was time to grow up. Many of us have that marked moment on our life.

Time passed. I finished college, went back home after turning down a few out of state jobs to spend time with my dad, who I had a feeling didn't have much time left. Turned out I was right, as I came home in 2015 and he died in 2022. There was an accident in '16 where he almost bled to death on our kitchen floor, but I was able to provide pressure/medical care and give him some more years.

Shortly after we moved in 17, I was notified that the house on the lake had been rented to someone who unfortunately had a lot of issues mental health wise, and they had eventually abandoned the property. It sat, rotting, and got so covered on the inside in black mold the county leveled the place and destroyed it.

We had left it fully furnished due to the buyer's urging. Ancient, stunning mid century and older furniture from my great-great grandparents time. My nana's organ player. The rocker my mom and I sat in. And, frankly, to quote one of those popular songs, the house that built me was just gone.

I figured that was the end of it, and cried and got angry/sad and then moved on and just tried surviving as covid hit later on in the years.

Turns out, the man who rented it decided that wasn't going to happen again. He put a new trailer on the property, and rented it out for vacationing due to it's location. We didn't know this until I stumbled across it while daydreaming about a vacation on the lake that I missed it was a relative, one I could at least go back to for a few days. My heart skipped so many beats when I saw the address and paused, thinking there had to be come mistake. It wasn't.

Not only can I spend time on that property again (in a new house which honestly might be for the best) But turns out, for whatever reason, they kept the furniture separate and placed a few pieces into the new house. There's a photo of the rocker in the layout photos. The two level lamp they had is still intact and functioning. I booked the place for a week immediately.

It's expensive for me, but my girlfriend and I will make it work. (Certainly not like we have far to travel.) We're going to be there smack dab in the middle of my Grandfather's birthday. I haven't had a true, just-for-me vacation since 2015 when we went to a camping ground. The excitement I have for this is immeasurable.

The dock my Dad and Grandpa put in themselves is fixed up. The crumbled little cement step is still there with a tiny indent, where my 4 yr old hand was pressed. I am going back to this place, and going back in time for just a short while, to heal and have fun and be a whole mess of emotions. I never got to say good bye to my Nana or Grandpa.

But I can say goodbye to them now, and say 'hello again, old friend' to the lake, and the new little house that sits before it.

That is why i am so excited about august. I know I don't share personal things on here a ton, but I wanted to share this. Thank you for reading this far if you have, I appreciate it.

I hope you have a wonderful day and remember how important you are <3 And as always stay hydrated! -Charlie

[crsssie]

hi there ! congrats on hitting the 1k milestone! 😊 if you don't mind, id love to get a match up w a male ghibli chatacter? im 20+ and i would describe my personality as pretty. average ig? im pretty dry even-tempered and kind of introverted irl but i try to present more friendly online- im a person who likes a routine n im kind of bad on relying on others emotionally + i have a bit of a complicated relationship w physical affection but im good at helping friends when theyre in distress even if its just lending a shoulder and ive been told im funny ! im 5'2" with shoulder-length dark brown hair brown eyes and glasses, im a virgo sun n my mbti is isfp iirc! i like stability so i think my ideal type would be someone kind reliable and not prone to like being off the walls or having crazy moodswings lol- and as for ideal date id honestly be perfectly happy watching a movie together at home!

once again congrats on hitting 1k!

lasting currents, lasting rivers

You sigh, head resting in the grass as Haku sets up the picnic blanket.

"The weather is nice today." He hums.

"It is." You close your eyes. "There's a light breeze too."

You hear Haku nod.

"Will you be reading?" You open your eyes to look at him.

"Yes." He nods. "Will you rest?"

"Yes." You hum. "Please wake me in an hour."

"Of course." He brushes the hair from your face, leaning down to press a delicate kiss to your hair. "See you in an hour."

"See you."

Headcanons:

Haku's a little unstable, but not in an emotional way, in a more quiet ocean being turbulent way

Remembers a lot of small facts about you!! You'll mention something form ages ago n he'll remember

You guys fly together btw!! it was terrifying at first but then you got used to it and now it's fun (but if you have a fear of heights dw he'll take care of it)

If I remember correctly he has some crazy ability to cook like insane foods? Lots of experimentation between the two of you on that. Lots of new dishes with lots of weird side effects LOL

You find that he likes being by the river, so the two of you have a lot of dates by bodies of water for comfort

[hungryhyena]

havin a bad bad mental health day so i got rly high n now i dont know what im feeling but its a lot👍

re: last post tags

this is silly but i love my battlevests so much.. all my patches were made by ppl... theyre patchworks of ppls art n i remember who made them all even when i dont know what fuckin day it is. its carrying art & therefore the artist with me wherever i go. bc i love them & their art

like. i get so fuckin excited when i see my art in the wild! it reminds me that ppl like my art enough to carry it with them.. n then sometimes i think abt the stuff ive made that i dont see... like patches n stuff w ppl far away yeah but like. is that plague on its buyers wall? is that box full of treasures? is that spoon resting in a bag of coffee beans? i hope they are. i love the art ive bouhgt, i hope the art ive made is loved the same

like i have a lil crochet capybara i use a stressball/fidget, n ran into the artist at a dif event. showed her n she got emotional over how worn he was, bc hes been in my pocket keeping me ok for months

& i met someone at the furry con wearing the same patch i had n we talked abt it. that artist wont know but bc of their art and our love for it we made a connection

also met 2 ppl there wearing my art! and god that feels so amazing. 1 had a pin i sold 2 yrs ago. n they still wear it. the other said his friend bought the patch for him n he cried when he got it bc he connected so much...

i love art i love punks i love queer ppl i lvoe how art connects us!!!!!

like man ive been crying today. shit sucks. shit sucks so much but what the fuck can i do.... all i can do is make art and hope.... but somewhere out there theres queer punks wearing each others art n that matters a lot to me

anyway thank u feelz cowboy crunch chocolate bar (100mg per square) i owe u my life

[prettyb0ycvnt]

Hey there silly lil' guy! I'm glad you're feeling a little better and I hope you have continued to recover! I'd happily have stayed in bed with you for sure, and I wouldn't mind catching what you got, cuddles and snuggly pup time is vital for a speedy recovery for an adorable pet like you! 💕

You're absolutely right!! Such a whimsical, silly guy, it'd be impossible to not have some silly and fun shenanigans while getting freaky in the sheets with you, music or no music, it'd be incredible!! 💚 Being able to laugh and have fun together just makes the whole experience soooo much more fun! Not that it wouldn't be fun anyway! 🥰

That's a lot of playlists!! Such a creative guy in so many things! It's pretty awesome that you have so many playlists and at lengths like 9 hours! Music is a great way to express yourself so I say listen to whatever you like to whatever lengths you like!! 💚😁 I'll have to see what times I can do so, but I'll see what I rock with for sure! 🙏

You say not being able to stop your yapping like it's a bad thing, it's far from that! I am excited to see what you yap and get excited about! 🥰 Feel free to yap all you want, I'll always be here to listen 🫡

That's a good boy!! I hope you've had lots of rest today and continue to do so! 🥰 It looks like you've done some chill creative stuff, feel free to show them off! It'd be very cool to see! 😊

Also, freaky ask inbound, this is a heads-up for the prettiest boy 😘🫡💖

-⚒️

hiii :3 good news !! i've made a full recovery !! everything is alll good now yahoo and Yippee ...! think it was probably due to your messages #tbh . got me so happy that all the sickness drained out of me! my hero for realsies <3 i'd still want the cuddles though. ... regardless of my condition! ^_^

literally wailing auahfhfhhgjhj stop it omg the thought of getting to have silly fun with you is making me soooo <3<3 !!! it would be so nice and refreshing and wonderful! i have a tendency to get pretty nervous about like.... basically everything ever sooo being able to diffuse any tension like that easily is always a great thing ^_^ i'm sure i would have the best time ever !!

hell yeah. they call me the Playlist Guy (ive never been called that in my life by anyone except me just now) . but anyways yes yes music is soooo so so wonderful especially when it comes to expressing myself like you said !!! im not so good at articulating the nuances of my emotions a lot of the time but there has been sooo many times where ive listened to a song and its like Woaugh... that's Literally me.... a lot of times its for when im not feeling so good which is Bleghh But it also goes the other way!! there is sooo much that can be expressed through music and i have so much admiration for songwriters and composers who can perfectly articulate so much emotion and meaning and story in packages that are often so small... back on my car seat headrest bullshit but part of the reason why i love them sm is their lyrics they're so Ougrh... so good at telling stories and conveying emotion that hits you Right in the Gut!!!!! & a lot a LOT of csh's discography revolves around the lead singer will toledo's queerness and identity so i think that is also why it gets to me so much.... i have a dysphoria playlist which is just songs that reminds me of my Transgenderism and there's sooo many csh songs on there even if they're not linked to being trans at all just because they're soooo encompassing of a lot of things i feel regarding my identity !! it's very wonderful ♡ not the dysphoria part. everything else >_< !!!

anyway ough aiden yap sesh AGAIN!!! it is veryyy nice to know that you like to listen to me though <3<3

my day has been very relaxing!!!! well. no actually i lie.... i watched the new episodes of the apprentice with my mom and. my god the incompetence level of all those contestants is insane i got so STRESSED!!! the only business knowledge i have is from my gcse business studies qualification and i think i could do better ANYWAY!!!! positive vibes! good vibes!!! i did have a lot of fun making bracelets!! here's some of the ones ive made!!

excuse the shitty lighting my bedroom is terrible for it 😭😭 !! i love making these... often they're just references to shows or other things im into !! the first one (top left!) is based on jinx from arcane because i looove that show and i looove her.... the next one after that is inspired by a song called europapa by joost klein and i made it during last year's eurovision season bc he represented the netherlands with that song !! i LOOOVE eurovision so so so much every time eurovision season rolls around i go crazy but that's a yap session for another time. .. once I did spend an hour sending my irls voice notes of every single eurovision fact i knew... normal guy behaviour! the pink and green one next to that is for a ship from a game i like! the character's signature colours are pink and green so i was like Yeah.. lets go..! middle left is the gay flag #pride or whateva! i love it . so silly. the Middle one is inspired by twilight from my little pony 😭😭 I LOVE MLP and she's LITERALLY ME ahem... anyway.. and the next one is based on hole, one of my fave bands! the colour scheme is loosely inspired by their cover for their album 'live through this' and also just the Vibes i get from their music tbh.. and then the trans flag with my pronouns #pride again ! then the lesbian one I made for my friend !!! aaand lastly... rainbow one that says 'rawr XD' i may be cringe but I am free...

god this reply was so long helloo.... ahem Anyways :3 i hope you've had a wonderful day today <33 and hell yeah .. freaky ask.. back on our shenanigans ☆ i will get to that right NOW!!! looking forward to reading it hehe <3

[phagodyke]

feeling like maybe screaming as loud and long as I can and falling to the ground and hitting it until I start bleeding or I finally get some attention whichever happens first. who's in

tf is up with me and randomly bursting into tears on weekend afternoons

[the-s1lly-corner]

tadc cast x sensitive child reader headcanons? (Platonic ofc. No pressure at all for this request)

TADC cast x sensitive!reader ! (platonic)

taking a short break from todays treat making to work on requests! so far ive made meringue cookies, lemon curd, and chocolate pretzels! woo! it doesnt sound like much but these are real huge batches </3 rolls around this might be a little short, though, since im dry on ideas and i still got stuff to do TToTT

CAINE:

spoils you, a lot, as well as kind of babying you. will it do you any good in the future? probably not, but for now it works since hes putting you before everything else. makes sure IHAs arent too hectic, though... it took him a while to find that sweet spot between too crazy and too boring, caine isnt really good at mellowing himself out.. has probably spooked you at least once on accident since he has this large booming voice and hes kind of out there.... he didnt mean to startle you, please dont cry! he makes funny faces to try to make you stop crying

POMNI:

very bad at comforting someone when theyre crying and i think this would still be an issue with you even if youre her kid/adoptive kid.. younger sibling... something.. tries the basic stuff you do to calm a crying kid down; funny faces, candy, toys, ect ect. over time she does get better at identifying what you need in scenarios where things are upsetting you. speaks for you a lot of the time when there can be a possible conflict, kind of shields you from things that could hurt you out of fear that something is going to hit too hard. long run its not ideal, but similar to caine, it works in the moment, you know?

RAGATHA:

very sweet and patient with you, hardly ever raises her voice at people and she will never raise her voice around you. gently urges you to try to speak for yourself and stand up for yourself when someone is being a little mean (though, to be fair, i cant see any of the current cast being intentionally mean.. we'll get to jax in a minute hush). very encouraging, too. kind of a mix between letting you be sensitive, but also urging you to try to get a little tougher, you know? never makes you do things youre not comfortable with doing, though. lets you hang out in her room if youre getting too overwhelmed with something, lets you play with and mess with some of her sewing stuff (supervised! needles are sharp!)

JAX:

teases you but is gentler with you, though with how sensitive you are sometimes even softening himself isnt enough. while the others try to shield and protect you from the world around you, hes likely going to try to push you to be more... bold, tough, you know. not sensitive. i feel that he might be too pushy with you and may thrust you into the deep end before youre ready for it, so either youre going to need to speak up, or someone else will... generally not ideal since hes more of a big brother figure that kind of messes with his younger siblings rather than a parent.... shrugs.. does stand up for you the second someone else makes you cry, regardless of if they do it intentionally or not

KINGER:

the dad. the father, the papa. the grandfather, even. maybe its because i hc that he already has kids out in the real world and he instinctively knows what to do with you... but i think he would be really good with you developing a thicker skin. does not shame you for who you are, though. actually i feel like he would also remind you that being sensitive isnt a big deal and it doesnt exactly make you weak compared to others. it just means you have big emotions, all the better to connect with people, you know? good dad. probably plays catch with you... those talks kids and dads have when theyre fishing that carries a life lesson... or maybe admin was introduced to really specific scenarios growing up... shrugs

ZOOBLE:

cross between jax and pomni i think. zooble is bad at comforting people, but i do think they would push for you to grow a spine and snap back at someone when theyre messing with you. though unlike jax they dont immediately throw you into it, rather i think they would have one on one time with you where you guys just talk about the stuff... still stands up for you, though they tend to give you a minute to speak for yourself during situations to say youre not okay with whats being done to you. probably teaches you little comebacks and insults to say to people when theyre being assholes

GANGLE:

honestly? she can relate. i can see this going two ways... perhaps being both at the same time...? shrugs.. she can relate to you because shes also sensitive, and it leads to you guys having this sweet sibling connection where you guys dont feel so bad for crying so easily. or it inspires gangle to try to be tougher, for your sake, so you have someone to lean on during tougher days. i think both are nice, in my opinion. similar to ragatha she lets you hang out in her room, drawing.. you both use art to express yourselves when wording things get too hard

[rosegoldenatlas]

its a weekend and usualy i might stay up later but i got so little sleep last night im just going to bed now.

things were both better and worse today

started out awful

but now im at my usual levels of meh so thats an improvement

ive recently been feeling bad over my ex which is. well its not that new but like its a lot of emotions ive been trying to ignore for a while that are now bubbling up to the surface (i made a few rant posts to try to get them off my chest though)

been lonely and lazy as ever but hey what can you do

although my parents are gone tomorow and i dont have to see them for the next 2 weeks! (though im going to be staying with my aunt and grandparents who. arent much better.)

anyways

im gonna get some sleep

you should get some sleep

hope you have a good day tomorow

stay awesome

Yas sleep my queen.

Well at least it evened out? The optimism in me is trying I swear. *logician takes the stage as per usual* if every day is just a tiny bit better than the last then eventually youll have a nice day or even a good day, that's just math. There will be bad days or bad moments but those don't have to control your entire day. Like when my parents called me fat and unattractive (the words were a little more flowery but still) or when they invalidated my gender presentation and sexuality (thank the gods I'm not out to them yet) There were some good parts of that day too! Like when they said 'the chemicals in the water turn the frogs gay' and 'vaccines cause autism' AND 'the estrogen in processed food is making men gay and feminine??' I had to try so hard not to burst out laughing. And I read a really good fanfic later that day.

Ughhh feelings over Exes suck. Try pinpointing the things you miss about them. For me it was a lot of the physical touch and the reassuring words and the times they would let me rant to them. Then you try to find outlets for those things, I asked my friends if they were okay for hugs and more physical touch, I asked if it was okay go rant to them if they got to rant back, I gave them reassuring words and then so did they. I'm glad that rant posts help you a lot too.

Yass engage in the sin of sloth with me my queen. Its great here.

YOOO THATS GREAT. As for the grandparents and aunts thing uh are they the type to just leave you be more often than not. That's how mine are but idk.

Day isn't gonna be too great. My family is forcing me to go swimming with them while I am sick (I have a really bad cough still but other than that I'm almost better yay) and also on my period (I get really bad cramps, like I can barely walk without pain meds kind) because 'fresh air will make you better!' (It usually makes it worse for me actually). But at least its usually only for three or so hours so not too too bad.

You stay royal your majesty.

[another-trans-puppygirl]

I have been out for 4 years and never gave myself the space to express myself properly so i am making it for myself today

(first vent post so apologies for messiness lol)

tw// r*pe, transphobia, parental trauma, not sure what else but idk its heavy for me so just heads up

since i came out my life has changed insurmountably and it has all been terribly overwhelming. ive never really been one to use social media aside from horrifically embarrassing teenage shitposting, so ive just sort of let it all mount up and carried it around. i have a couple of transmasc house mates who i am terribly grateful for and consider them to be family but it has ultimately been terribly lonely not being aroud or talking to other transfems.

i will almost definitely talk about it in more detail on here at some point, but to keep things simple for now, i had very little control over how i came out to my family. it just sort of got revealed to my mum who insisted that my dad and brother (who didn't live with me, messy divorce) would never accept me and otherwise she was very unreactive initially. she feigned support whilst keeping it a secret from everyone in our immediate family but told lots of her friends for about 3 months but had expressed very negative views of trans women before so it felt very false to me. in january 2021 she decided she didnt support my "decision", as well as shouting at me for not telling her i had been r*ped and blamed everything on my dad. i didnt feel safe in her house anymore, so even though it was the middle of a covid-19 lockdown in the uk i had to take all of my belongings with me across almost the whole of england to get myself back to my uni campus. it was easily the worst day of my life and the hardest thing i ever had to do and i havent spoken to her since. i broke my collar bone as a young teenager and carrying all my stuff like that has made it hurt all the time, and i find it so hard not to think about it all whenever the pain is really bad. i was at university for animation, something i had always wanted to do my entire life. i could not bring myself to go to classes for the entire year so i deferred to the next. then i still couldnt bring myself to come in for most of the year. for some reason they didnt kick me out despite my attendance so i tried again the second year, and it went better but i was still really disappointed in myself. in my third year, things got complicated. i started to try really hard and believe i might be getting somewhere. i was the only person in my whole course that was doing traditional animation, my course was advertised as supporting traditional animation but i was not given a tutor so i was totally alone to try and fit my assignments to my limited skillset and resources. i had some ideas for projects i was really passionate about and started to develop and then it happened again and i got overwhelmed and decided i really couldnt do it anymore so i stopped going entirely. during this time i have also wrestled with the fact that i knew deep down that i am a lesbian. recently i have given up fighting it and have accepted that i am a lesbian, i think being on estrogen for one month as of today has played a big part in that, as it has rekindled my emotions and i just cannot fight that feeling anymore. but it has also brought on a terrible loneliness that i think i was suppressing beforehand too, and it has just made me feel incredibly lost. i am really happy somewhere in there about it, but it is overshadowed by a terrible sadness that i have let myself hide away this whole time. it has filled my heart to the brim with love and i feel like i have nowhere to put it and i just want to scream. i have been so scared to say any of this anywhere to anyone for fear of burdening people but i cant keep it inside anymore so i want to shout about it here because i have nowhere else to do it. so if youre reading this i am sorry for taking your time, just know it means the world that anyone even knows any of this and that bending your hypothetical ear will hopefully ease the load even if just for a moment.