#but im just so Aware of him doing it and his coworkers watching and MY coworkers too

[stellewriites]

:/

[darling-i-read-it]

Burns

Charlie Swan x fem!reader, Carlisle Cullen x fem!reader 

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: age gap (for both men, both are legal but carlisle is like 223297493 years old so do with that what you’d like lol), burns (second and first degree), doctors office, me knowing too much about twilight 

Author’s Note: IM WRITING A PART 2 RN BUT WANTED TO SEE IF YOU GUYS LIKED THIS <3 I literally randomly had a burst of inspo to write this and i lowkey love it…

Summary: You’re a waitress at the local diner to pay off tuition in the summer. You have a small crush on the chief of police who comes in to get his coffee from you. You thought that was all it was until you met the resident doctor when you have a mishap and now you’re stuck between two incredibly charming men that both have a little crush on you. 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Forks, Washington was under a near constant cover of rain. You were aware of it when you woke up in the morning, prepared to see the dreary weather that greeted you through the window. You could smell the rain on the pavement before it came, see it in the clouds as they hovered above. You were always prepared for it, always ready for it. 

Today, the sun was out. Summer usually calls for something more temperate. You found that those days weren’t necessarily unwelcome, but never your favorite. Everyone went outside when it was sunny. You could see people you hadn’t seen in ages. You never made an effort to see them in the first place for a reason. There was an uncharacteristic amount of skin showing. It may only be mid 70s but everyone suddenly acted like the ocean water was a relief to their burning skin. 

You sweat easily, especially in the diner. The Lodge had little to no air conditioning and the sun brought people in droves. Everyone wanted a bite to eat. They all remembered the diner had milkshakes. It was never a great mix for a waitress. 

You turned the corner on your heel, giving a quaint smile to Cora, your coworker. She looked like she was going to melt away. 

“Do you think anyones gonna leave early today?” she asked quietly behind the counter. You shook your head. She had the coffee pot in her hand and was holding it tightly so it didn’t spill. You looked around the packed diner, laughter bubbling from sections where it normally was silent. You shook your head, giving her a sad look. 

“We’re in for one.” 

“I should’ve called out,” she muttered. “You should’ve called out. This place needs us.” You shook your head. 

“You’ve gotta put food on the table,” you reminded her. She had a kid who was going into middle school. You had met her when Cora brought her in, her headphones stuck in her ears and reading some trashy teen novel. 

“Always the voice of reason,” she muttered. “Plus, you gotta pay tuition.” 

“Don’t remind me.” 

You were going to college in Seattle but always worked the summers back in Forks. You loved the little town despite its insanity. You found that most of it was quiet, even on louder days. Plus, it was always easy to find a job back home. You were practically shoved the waitress apron when you returned this summer. You had been doing it since you graduated high school, always trying to find something to keep yourself occupied. You were coming upon your senior year in college and the extra money helped immensely. 

“Hey, your boyfriends here,” Cora teased. She pushed herself off the counter to refill someone’s coffee cup. You furrowed your brows in confusion even though you knew exactly who she meant. 

You watched as chief of police Charlie Swan walked through the doors with a clink of the bell above his head. He met your eyes and gave you an awkward half wave, which you returned slightly more enthusiastically. He walked up to the counter, squeezing between the people sitting there. Someone said hello to him and he gave them a nod in acknowledgment. 

“You guys are busy today huh?” he questioned, scoffing. 

“Just a bit,” you admitted. His presence never ceased to bring butterflies to your stomach. Maybe you were harboring a small/not so small crush on the sheriff but you tried your best not to show it. You assured Cora it was just something silly for you to feel as you passed through your work day. Still, her eyes lingered on yours as she went around the counter to greet someone else because she knew you were busy. “It’s the sun.” 

“Brings out all the loonies,” he said. 

“I imagine you’re busy out there too.” He was always scanning around to make sure no one was doing anything wrong. His eyes flicked from you to the people beside him, then back to you. 

“Taking my 15.” 

“Just to see lil ol me?” you teased. Even as the words left your mouth you felt self conscious of them. This time though, he gave a half smile. 

“You make the best coffee I’ve ever had,” he promised. You tried not to get flustered. 

“Well, it looks like you need a double today, Sheriff.” 

“Charlie, how many times do I have to tell you?” You rolled your eyes. He leaned against the diner counter even though there were no seats. You turned around, every other table lost in your mind. Cora would help you out until he left.

“Well Charlie, it might be too hot for a hot coffee. You could’ve gone to one of those fancy coffee shops,” you offered, grabbing a coffee pot. 

“Yeah, can you imagine me ordering there? I have a hard enough time with you.” 

“I think I get what you mean by now,” you joked. You poured him a cup and grabbed three sugars and two creams. “Anything else?” 

“You always this quick with your service?” he questioned, looking at the people down the line who hadn’t gotten their food. 

“I’m just the coffee girl with a pretty smile. I don’t control the food orders.” You handed him a stirring stick as he opened his sugar packets. “Plus, you’re the chief of police Charlie. I don’t wanna get arrested.” He chuckled, a real genuine laugh. 

“I think I’ll let you off for this one.” You smiled at your success. The laugh was guaranteed to be the highlight of your shift. 

“Thanks Charlie.” You turned back to the kitchen which was starting to call things out. “Anything else?”

“No ma’am.” He grabbed some cash out of his wallet. “Keep the change.” 

“You’re my favorite customer Charlie,” you joked at his more than generous tip of 100%. He did a little salute with his finger and raised the cup to you. 

“Go do your job otherwise you’re bound to get more angry customers than I am.” 

You nodded once and bowed out of the conversation gracefully. You grabbed the food from behind you and started to bring it out. Cora gave you a look as you passed her, the smile plastered on your face a clear tell of your conversation. 

“Peach cobbler,” you said to one of your regulars. She was a small old lady who always came in on Saturdays, at exactly the same time. You enjoyed talking with her and catching up on her life. She got the same thing each time and the consistency was something you appreciated. “Sorry it’s been slower today Miss. Heidi. The heat has the whole of Forks out!” She shook her head, brushing you off. 

“No worries at all,” she assured you. “It’s not like I’m not gonna come back.” You shared in her shaky laughter. She picked up her fork just as you were about to leave and pointed it at Charlie. “You making heart eyes at the chief over there sweetheart?” You flushed immediately. Maybe you weren’t so great at hiding it. 

“Maybe. But keep your mouth shut Heidi,” you whispered with a smile. She chuckled. Her eyes lingered on Charlie who was finishing his coffee already. He had started a conversation with the man beside him. Charlie seemed to know everyone in town. 

“Aren’t you a little young for him?” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s perfectly constenting and legal,” you assured her. “I’m plenty older than his daughter if that’s what you’re gonna say.” 

“I was gonna mention.” Her eyes wrinkled at the edges, shaking her head. Her movements didn’t feel like she was disagreeing with you. More so that she was gossiping with a friend, just girls being girls. “He had his heart broken by her mother, you know. He’s a good man.” 

“Is that your consent Heidi? Because I don’t even know if he feels the same way.” Your voice was lighthearted. She grabbed your hand, her saggy skin feeling comforting. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much sweetheart.” You scrunched your face a little and shook off her words. You were still on the clock. 

“Enjoy your peach cobbler Heidi.” 

-

You brushed your hair out of your face. The sun had finally subsided for the evening, giving way for the clouds. You embraced their presence, appreciating the way that the cool air felt on your overworked skin. Cora was still hanging around after her shift, waiting for her husband to come pick her up. You sat on the back steps of The Lodge, watching the trees sway. 

“The air feels so crisp,” you muttered. 

“You say the weirdest things,” she grumbled, laughing. She was leaning against the building. “It’s the trees.” 

“I know.” You were going to leave right after work and finally drive back home but you needed a moment to sit and enjoy the day. It had been a long shift. Cora and you were officially trauma bonded. 

“How was the chief?” 

“Good,” you promised. “Sweet.”

“A guy can be sweet and catch criminals?” 

“He’s assertive,” you argued. When Cora laughed she did it with her whole chest. 

“Honey, you’re down bad.” You rolled your eyes and stood up. Cora’s eyes followed you as you did so, turning back to the door inside the diner. “You’re goin back into that hellhole?” 

“Forgot my phone,” you said. “Also, I am not. It’s a work crush. I’m entitled to one! Just like you like the produce guy!” 

“I do not like the produce guy. I think he’s hot. Big difference!” You rolled your eyes as you opened the door back inside. The heat hit you again, unpleasantly. You had to weave through the cooks to get back to the front. You couldn’t remember when you had put your phone down. You were making a phone call during your break. Maybe you had left it on hte steps outside after all? 

“Hey Jerry?!” you called to the cook in the back.

“What?!” 

“You seen my phone?” 

“No! All I’ve seen are burgers!” You rolled your eyes harder this time and dipped underneath the counter to see if you had put it with the sugars and stuff. You let out an annoyed groan when it wasn’t there. 

You turned too quick and ran right into the closing waitress. She was holding a hot pot of coffee and effectively spilled it all over you. You gasped involuntarily, the feeling of scorching coffee seeping through your clothes. The gasp turned into a seethe as you packed up. You could hear her speaking, the high pitched, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” reverberating off your eardrums. You had dropped coffee on yourself before. All you could think of was that you needed a towel and some cold water. 

You turned on a dime and walked back to the kitchen. You turned on the sink back there and fumbled your hand around for a towel to use. 

“Jerry, towel,” you mumbled, the burning skin now setting into a tingle. He turned his head around and saw you. He started to fumble around. You walked in front of him to grab the towel and just barely lost your balance, causing your hand to fly up onto the table. 

Right onto the stove. 

This time you yelped. The coffee was already forgotten as there was now more of an issue at hand. 

“Woah dollface!” Jerry exclaimed. He grabbed your wrist because you were just staring at your red hand. You had put your entire palm down. You looked up at him, tears staining your eyes from pain, and he brought you over to the sink. 

“Oh fuck,” you groaned as he put it under the cold water. It didn’t subside any pain, just added another sensation. “Jerry that hurts!” 

“Hey Y/N, I have your phone in my apron.” Cora came through the door to witness you breathing heavily next to the sink, Jerry the cook practically holding you down. 

“She burned her hand on the stove,” he explained. 

“She spilled coffee on me,” you blubbered childishly. You could feel all your body parts at once, like you were on fire. You had no brain power to say anything else. 

“Oh Jesus,” Cora muttered. She rushed forward, grabbing your wrist to look at it. “You gotta get this checked out honey.” You gave her a somber looking face. “I know, I know. I’ll take you. Where’s your car keys?” You reached in your apron with your non burnt hand. It was soaking wet from the coffee. 

“Is she okay?” the waitress asked, sticking her head through the window. 

“She burned her hand on the stove,” Jerry said. 

“She what?!” 

Cora put her hand on your back, leading you out the door. You took deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You were fine. You were gonna be fine. 

“I’ll be okay,” you whispered. “You have to g-”

“I’ll have Steven do it,” she said. Her husband. You gave her a look of pure thankfulness as she helped you into the passenger seat of her car. 

“I really don’t have to go to the hospital over this,” you tried to say. 

“I know you don’t. But I think it’s safer than waiting.” You put your head against your headrest. 

-

Cora dragged you by your free arm to the front desk. She was the one who gave your name and your information as you stood beside her, holding your hand. You looked like a mess, given the coffee all over you. You were sure this could all just be fixed by some water and ointment from the store but Cora insisted. 

She rambled on about how a family member hadn’t gone in for a burn and it ended up being more severe then they thought, damaging below the skin. Her words were not comforting. 

Eventually they called you back to be looked at. You sat on an exam table with a thin paper on top. A nurse had come in to check on you and give you something for your hand while you waited for the doctor. 

You were in a row of beds. Cora pulled the curtains aside to give you privacy. 

“I really don’t think that’s necessary,” you said. 

“They don't get to know all your business. HIPAA or whatever.” You squinted. 

“I don’t think-” 

“Ladies.” Carlisle Cullen stepped through the curtain at the open side. He was holding a clipboard, a charming smile plastered on his face. Your breath hitched at the sight of him. He was gorgeous. “Y/N, I hear you burned your hand.” You nodded. 

“And her chest,” Cora muttered. She must have noticed Carlisle’s looks as well. Or maybe she just noticed your reaction to him. You cleared your throat. 

“I had coffee spilled on me.” 

“No, you should check it out. It’s bad.” You gave a look. Carlisle’s smile remained, shaking his head. You had heard of him but never had a reason to come out and see him. You wouldn’t even call this a valid reason. 

“Sounds like an awful case of bad luck.” You nodded. “Can I take a look?” He sat on a spinny chair and pulled it towards you. You extended your hand to him. 

“I’m gonna go call Steven,” she said to you. You nodded. She patted your back, her eyes lingering on your doctor even as she left. Carlisle held your hand in his, gently looking it over. You looked down at him. 

“A stove did this?” 

“Yeah. It was dumb,” you promised. “I lost my balance looking for a rag for the coffee burn.” 

“And that’s okay?” You nodded. 

“I think. I mean, my hand feels way worse,” you assured him. 

“Your friend seems to think otherwise.” 

“Cora’s dramatic by nature.” He laughed gently. 

“Well the stove fought back.” He wheeled backwards towards the table beside your bed. “It looks like second degree burns on your hand. I’ll send you home with some ointment for it and you’ll wanna wrap it up so that you don’t get it caught on your clothes or anything.” You nodded. “I’ll wrap it for you first, show you how to do it.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course.” He stood up and fumbled in the desks drawer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to check on the coffee burns?” He glanced back at you. You looked down at your shirt. It had mostly gotten your stomach. You could still feel pain there, probably driven by the fact you never got to clean it off. 

“If you think it’ll help?”

“Stomach burns are interesting just because of their placement. It’s harder to wrap them. I think it would be beneficial for me to make sure they’re only first degree, if anything.” You nodded. You would listen to him read the phone book. 

“Okay.” He walked back over. Before even touching your shirt he made eye contact with you. 

“Only if you’re comfortable. I can wait till your friend comes back if you want me to.” You shook your head. 

“I’m okay!” you promised. You cleared your throat and grabbed the hem of your shirt. You carefully lifted it up over your torso, holding it just above the wet spot. Carlisle’s eyes went down to your body. 

“You said the hand hurt more?”

“By far.” 

“Can I touch you?” Please. You cleared your throat again. 

“Sure.” He put an icy hand on your hip, lightly brushing your burn with his thumb. 

“How much does that hurt? Scale one to ten?” 

“Five.” He applied more pressure. 

“Now?” 

“Seven. Your hands are really cold, which could be worsening the effects,” you joked. He chuckled, his lips turning up a bit. 

“Sorry about that.” He backed up a bit. You put your shirt back down. “Those are first degree burns. It only hit in some spots. Should feel numb or touchy for a couple days. You can put the ointment there too but you shouldn’t have to wrap it up.”

“The hand needs it.”

“The hand needs it,” he agreed. He had put some stuff on the counter, which he now took in his hands. He squeezed something out a bottle and put a bit of it on his finger, taking your hand back in his. “Let me know if the pressure is too much.” 

You watched him, your free hands fingers curled under the bed you were sitting on. He gently covered your hand, using such a light touch that it was like he was barely there. 

“You’re good at this.” 

“It’s my job,” he said, smiling. “Are you from out of town? I don’t think I’ve had you in here before.” 

“Just lucky,” you quipped. “I go to college in Seattle too so I’m usually out there.” He nodded slowly. 

“Fancy.”

“The drive back is beautiful.” He nodded slowly. His hand lingered on yours as he examined his work. “So is this town.” 

“Do you work at the diner?”

“Yeah! That’s where I got this beauty.” He scooted back, grabbing the bandages.

“I think my son’s seen you there. He’s graduating high school in a year and likes his seclusion,” he explained. 

“Son?” you asked. 

“Edward.” 

“No, I’m just stunned you have a child. You look far too young,” you said, laughing incredibly. He grinned sheepishly. You tried not to think of him being married or the lack of ring on his finger. 

“He’s technically my foster son,” he described. 

“I see. Do you do it all on your own?” You winced. That was aggressive. “I don’t mean to pry.” “It’s alright,” he said, shaking his head, completely cool. “Yes, they’re all under my care. I haven’t found the right one quite yet. Plus, she’d have to take on more than a couple stragglers with me.” His eyes flicked up to yours. They met for a moment longer than they should have. You had to look away. 

“Sounds like a task.” 

“It’s definitely not for everyone.” He tightened your bandage. “There. I’ll send you home with some of this, it’ll be sent to wherever you get your prescriptions.” He stepped back from you. “Try to be careful around stoves next time.”

“Yes sir.” He gave you one more look, a kind hearted smile and then was on his way. You followed him until he was gone out of view. You were glad he hadn’t checked your pulse because you were sure it was beating out of your chest. Cora came around the corner. 

“He’s too old for you too,” she said. You laughed dryly, shaking your head. You could practically still feel his touch on your hand. So gentle. 

“You’ll learn to get used to it,” you teased her. She rolled her eyes. “Were you waiting out there the whole time?” 

“Wanted to give you and Doctor Dreamy some alone time.” 

“You’re such a wingwoman!” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell the Sheriff.” 

Part 2

[marleemutt]

TLDR: im a black trans artist who can use some help right now following the sudden passing of my only sister - her doberman is now the responsibility of my parents and we can use help for his food, supplements, toys etc.

Kofi (help me send Chewy orders to my parent's house)

Wishlist (literally send him things like toys, treats, etc.)

⬇️ more info ⬇️

hey guys

some of you might be aware of this already, but early October, my eldest sibling & only sister suddenly passed away due to a seizure, she had been dealing with epilepsy her whole life.

this has been incredibly difficult for me, and my family. her passing was incredibly sudden, she was only 30.

for the past month or so ive been struggling to find any motivation to draw, and barely able to work.

she was the incredibly devoted owner of a doberman named Remi(Ramsey). Me and my sister traveled 4 hours to pick him up three years ago. He's a goofball who tears up socks and needs constant supervision. My parents love him, but I can tell he is a lot of work for two people who have fulltime jobs and have lived long lives.

I'm going to try to help them take care of him as much as possible, I feel that it's the least we can do to honor my sister's memory, since she loved him so deeply.

My sister always wanted a doberman, for years she would watch videos about dobermans and talk about them to anyone who would listen.

Remi wasn't easy to raise - I shared a room with my sister when she got him in 2020, she still worked a 9-5, five days a week, so I was his nanny for most of his difficult childhood. I was his chew toy for the first year of his life about - but that only made him bond closer to me. If he wasn't following my sister, I was choice #2. Dobermans are "velcro dogs", they were bred to guard their owners, and because of this, they are fiercely loyal. I've been moved out of my parent's place for going on 3 years, and my sister had just moved with Remi out a few months prior to her passing.

A week before my sister's sudden passing, we had to board Remi at my dog daycare job while my family and I took a trip out of state. When dropping him off, although he was happy to see me again for the first time in months, the moment my sister turned her back to him he began to panic. He got through the boarding all right but my coworkers told me he would cry and wait by the door for me or her. When my sister picked him up, they said he jumped all 80+lbs into her arms.

Since my sister's passing, Remi has been directionless. He's with my family, people he trusts, but he's bored, confused, and heartbroken. My sister would often take him to the dog park, social events, on runs, etc. but my parent's can't do that in their age. If my apartment allowed large dogs, I would take him, but I can't, and I see him maybe twice a month if possible.

Ramsey's Christmas List

I made a christmas list for him of things that might help my parents better take care of him. We're trying different food brands out because he struggles with frequent stomach issues, and we can't seem to figure out what food my sister was feeding him. This list is by no means a necessity for him, but I tried to add things to help with his boredom and keep him stimulated when my parents can't give him all their attention.

i do want to state that my family is capable of providing him with the essentials to live, we arent irresponsible. i would just like to help my parents out since a 3 year old 80-90lb doberman is a lot of work to be suddenly placed on them soley. And I worry for his health and well-being sometimes - Remi has a tendency to eat/tear random objects when he's bored.

please consider donating whatever you can. Everything goes directly to him.

thank you for taking the time to read this, and possibly reblog if possible. ❤️

[madeby-meru]

Thoughts on Episode 10 (Jason Route)

Now that I am chill after losing both the illustration and the route and having to watch it somewhere else, I can give my thoughts on this episode! ^^

I wanted to upload this sooner but had no time to finish it lol

beware of spoilers under the cut!

Overall, my main feeling while playing and after finishing was that i was tremendously bored for 90% of the episode. And honestly this makes me sad! I really like filler episodes, i love silly little moments that don't add much to the story itself but that let you see the characters in different situations and learn other tidbits of information about them. For example, I liked going with Brune and Elanda to look for Thomas, seeing them in a situation where they're worried about a friend that could be in serious trouble and how they reacted differently to everything. It adds depth and personality (which these characters desperately need). I have seen Roy's route in this episode too and i liked how it added a bit to his characterization of this very sweet and caring man. I have to say that i also loved seeing Thomas' mom again and im soooo happy that she got a redesign! (even though I wish she looked like an actual 60 year old woman, girlie looks addicted to botox). I would have loved to see Iris too but we got a couple more characters from the MCL games so I'm happy with that. I like seeing that we are, indeed, in the same universe lol.

However, in my opinion anything good or interesting in the episode was completely overshadowed by the sheer *absurdity* of it all.

It's the same issue as always, the "plot" doesn't make sense and unintentionally the characters end up being depicted terribly and (usually) Devon and Thomas suffer the most.

Devon looks like an irresponsible boss that doesn't keep his empoyees in check and lets them do whatever they want even if it harms the job or other emoplyees's work. He postpones the meeting with the town hall (would he even be allowed to do that? i'm sure this would have negative impact on Devenementiel) to look for Thomas, which honestly that's a good friend move so respect for that... but that is a full grown adult, not a child, and you dont even know if something actually happened to him. I'm sorry but here the job should take priority, it makes no sense for everyone to halt their work day and waste time (with a relevant project !! with the town hall !! in their hands !!) cause someone didnt come in.

Sending everyone to just look around the city is... so stupid? how big is Amoris? 1km square? for them to think that they can wander around and magically find him? ????

Now the ending was just... what the actual fuck.

I don't think the writing team is truly aware of how badly Thomas is portrayed. First of all, if you have a motorbike accident that is serious enough to leave the morotbike destroyed like they describe it: you do not walk away like nothing happened! Talking from experience, even a relatively small accident can leave you badly injured. And from what is being described in the episode Thomas should have been hospitalized! It makes no sense. Second of all, who in their right damn mind leaves a demaged vehicle in the middle of the street and walks away to buy a replacement? That is a fine, that is a public safely issue, a general safety hazard and a traffic obstruction, who does that ?! "He is socially unaware!" no, that is being straight up stupid and a jerk.

Y'all are portraying Thomas as an egocentric, careless, and self centered guy that does not care for anything or anyone around him other than himself, an irresponsible person that does not care if his actions are detrimental to his job or colleagues. And if we put this together with episode 8 showing him as someone with zero respect for boundaries or privacy and that will stalk coworkers with no remorse, yeah you're making a wonderful love interest.

And this pisses me off, this feels out of character. Thomas is such a fun and interesting and cute love interest, he could have one of the best romance stories in the game, why would you paint him like this? I'm sure that the intention was a "haha silly guy doesn't understand!" moment but y'all definitely don't know how to write that.

And I don't think this is "reading too much into it", cause you can see it all in plain sight. And also, analyzing shit and "reading too much into something" is fun for me.

This episode could have been so fun. It could have been a silly misunderstanding with some days off that Thomas takes to go to a competition (maybe we initially could think that he had an accident because a similar bike had one that morning! or because he had been complaining about motor issues and being wary of a potential accident!). In his route we could go see him and he could tell us about his hobby, and in other routes we could do something related to the other character's interests. We could get to know more about them, its an appropiate episode topic for the place that we are in in the relationships and its just cute and fun.

But anyway, I unfortunately could not play Jason's route myself and I had to watch it somewhere else instead, which honestly pissed me the fuck off cause i can't afford a replay at all. The special scene was cute, I liked the tone and how Jason sounded like he was trying to play it cool with all the "heh i just did it to show im better" (i can see right through you silly man). Ngl im sad i dont have the scene to replay it u-u

Thomas' illustration was my favorite by far, both him and Ysaline look gorgeous fr fr

[saltlickmp3]

watching x files again yesterday & theres the episode where phoebe green who is mulder's old friend / ex girlfriend is there and it was so so funny to me b/c aside from her literally being like 'mulder youre so pathetic i want you scared & afraid & remember that time we had graveyard sex', mulder seemes like he's worried what scully will think, & phoebe is vaugley aware that scully might not like her fllirting with her coworker. like she does it anyways but she's not doing it To Make Scully Jealous she just wants mulder that badly lol

and scully is just unbothered!! like she mighty be a little bit jealous/annoyed about it on a personal level but doesnt realllyyyyy show it like when she has to tell him something & walks in on him making out with phoebe she's just like 🙄 okay whatever we're literally on a case rn and fully runs over to interrupt them when she realises the building is on fire. i reckon she's probably like 'oh thank god he has kissed a girl before i was starting to wonder' while also probably, if you will excuse my use of gen z slang, be astounded that he has/had rizz

like scully & phoebe are both captivated by his pathetic demeanor & vaugley sad & guilty swag but while phoebe falls into the trope of like, super-hot-&-flirty-but-still-competent-ex-girlfriend scully is doing the whole Career Woman thing (very 90s of her which. is b/c its the 90s) but also we saw her on her one awkward date in the what is bigfoot was a woman episode & she didnt seem to be enjoying it!! like she would rather be vaugley attracted to mulder's sad tboy energy than even contemplate getting married

however. in the episode with the genetically modified girl at the end im sure mulder & scully were both painfully aware that they looked like a family. scully was probably trying to ignore it in a rational logical way but i'm sure mulder was imagining they were married withtwo kids & they were a normal family getting sodas yknow.

[nereidprinc3ss]

Jokes and being 'horny on main' aside I find it so fascinating how many women are drawn to both Spencer Reid and MGG. Like he's not classically handsome, in the way most macho Hollywood men are. He's softer, more poetic looking and his personality is also very unique. I think he feels safe (from what we know anyways), and there's something to be said for why women (especially younger women) go nuts for this kind of smart, goofy, caring guy who is truly weird (more so MGG than Spencer). Yet you'll still have incels on Reddit/Twitter parading the toxic alpha male shit to impressionable men and creating this vicious cycle. There was actually an interesting class I took on Romance novels and how because they're sort of an unexplored medium that hasn't been taken seriously in the cultural zeitgeist until recently it's been able to develop into a safe space for women, written by women. A lot of men call them unrealistic and yes they can lean trope-y and drama-esque but also at their core its about women reading about men that are good communicators, with decent personalities and hygiene

idk WHY he is the most visually appealing man I’ve ever seen, and idk why he has this crazy staying power for me—like normally my celebrity crushes are crazy intense for a few months and then they just disappear one day, but me and matthew are approaching our year anniversary and i see no signs of stopping lol!!

i think personality does have a lot to do with it. mgg is genuinely a weirdo like he’s a weird dude with a lot of heart and he seems really passionate about the things he does. men who care about something outside of themselves, and don’t take themselves too seriously, do tend to make me feel safer. i can’t speak for other women and obviously we don’t know him in real life but if he’s secretly an asshole he does a fantastic job of hiding it!! his sense of humor requires a kind of self awareness and awareness of other people that we don’t usually expect from famous men, and the way he speaks about and interacts w his female friends/coworkers is really amazing too.

idk, obviously we don’t actually know him and i try very much not to idolize people (especially men) who i don’t know. but he’s so funny and seems like an actually kind person who lacks some of the hangups that other male celebrities have and that make them repellant to me

also men saying romance novels are “unrealistic” need to give me a fucking break. women know that the men they read about in romance novels aren’t realistic representations of men in real life but men don’t seem to understand that porn is a fucking joke and not a realistic representation of real women. yet they hold us to those ludicrous standards all the time. until they start thinking about the porn they watch as a complete MADE UP FANTASY the way women think about romance novels i really do not want to hear it from them lmfaooo

especially when our fantasy is being treated respectfully by a good man and their fantasies include anti gravity boobs and removed ribs and viewing women as objects made for their pleasure

can you tell im mad about this…

anyway thank you for sharing your thoughts!! i completely agree<3

[stormyoceans]

MY DEAR FRIEND!! EP 1 BTS FOR LT IS OUT!!! ARE YOU AWARE!?!?!?

also i need to go on a raging rant about ep 1 BUT IVE BEEN SOOO BUSY OMFGG FRIEND!! WE SHALL CATCH UP SOON 😤😤😤😤

THE WAY I COMPLETELY FORGOT WE WERE GOING TO GET BTS VIDEOS SO WHEN I SAW YOUR MESSAGE I JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT AND HIT MY KNEE SO HARD ON MY DESK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY COWORKERS TURNED TOWARDS ME

just got home from work+evening course and i was finally able to watch it without having to hide in the office bathroom so here are some personal highlight which you did not ask for but im gonna give you anyway because im insufferable just like that ;;;;;;;

starting with......

p'aof and the crew's endless attempts to make jimmy look more rough and unkept but continuosly failing at it because he's so handsome and charming that he looks good even after rolling in dirt WILL NEVER STOP CEASE TO BE FUNNY TO ME

and speaking of jimmy......

once upon a time there was sea and his emotional support hia. now there's mr. i don't enjoy skinship and his emotional support sea. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? GROWTH (IF YOU SEE ME WANDERING THE WOODS WAILING ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP NO YOU DON'T)

and now for something a bit more serious......

unfortunately sea is covered by the subs, but i find it pretty interesting that in one version of the scene where day is in the middle of the street and overwhelmed by the traffic, he was actually supposed to scream for help and that's when mork saves him. it probably would have made everything even more heart-rending, but i do think i prefer the version they went with in the show, where day's panic is so palpable and all-consuming that it prevents him from doing anything, including asking for help

ANYWAY IMMA NEED 400 MORE HOURS OF BTS CONTENT AFTER THIS PLEASE AND THANK YOU

[cannibal-nightmares]

did you know may is mental health awareness month?

text under the read more: an unreality ramble about my dog. he is a good boy.

have a peaceful song -

where do I even begin

I guess I'll start with that I don't like talking about my delusions. there's some I want to talk about but can't because they're either scary and/or too confusing in that theyre too real. or im "not allowed" to. but this one exists in a neutral space, so a neutral story this will be

I only got him when he was 1½ years old and he was kenneled at the shelter w another dog identical to him, but if he wasn't someone's service/emotional support animal, then he must have been in a past life. or he has a human consciousness. or something. my friends joke about the latter often but I'll get there in a second. the way he responds to my emotions and actions is uncanny. he is a rather quiet dog, but if he notices me freeze up and go quiet to an uncharacteristic degree, he will very blatantly try to get my attention. if I lie on the floor from anxiety, he will lie on my legs; if I lie on the floor in being depressed, he will get in my face. he's intervened self harm (namely hitting, but, if he's alert, he's interrupted trichotillomania episodes). The thing is, idk where he gets it from. I didn't train him to do any of these things

my friends joke that's he's "just a dude." "a man in a dog's body" etc. it *is* a funny joke. he likes people more than other dogs; his eye contact is oddly human-like (ask my friends). it *is* a funny joke, and the following isn't directly related, but I do have great fears about him. some of which the noise isn't going to let me say outloud here but. what I can: sometimes I fear it's true--an organic thought outside of what my friends have said, the two ideas don't feel the same--or perhaps that he was someone in a past life. or is a positive-neutral force sent to look after me. idk. it's hard to explain why while it would be/is theoretically positive, how it is still unnerving. and how it feels like something will change in one direction or another when I post this. I digress. He's just a guy. I have bigger fears on it, but that's the simple of it.

A coworker asked and suggested why I don't get a service dog. at first, I considered the question as courteous, but then realized... I struggle to walk my current dog, if I am honest. I do it, I take him out every day, etc, but as much as I got a dog to help me w paranoia, it has not curbed it. in ways, in ways, it has made it worse. countless of times I have tried to walk him around the block, made it halfway, and turned around due to feeling like a force was watching me, like something was waiting around the corner, like there were traps ahead, and many other more specific and pertinent things I am not allowed to say here (plus it'd be safer if I didnt). taking him outside is like flipping on a geiger counter to gauge the state of the day. I feel really bad for him in this. I can't imagine trying to get a proper service animal in these regards.

My friends like to joke that he's some sort of bending entity in that he's just shaped funny. I mean, he is. His legs are goofy-long, his nose is angled funny off of his snout, his ears are huge. Etc. But--again, separate from what they've said--sometimes I look at him and he doesn't feel real. It's difficult to explain. I look at him and it's like I'm missing something. Like how you can't reach into a tv and grab what's on the screen. idk.

The reason I'm saying all of this is because... As much as I am sometimes scared he isn't real to some degree, I consider that, even if he isn't, I think he's worth "wasting time" on. I love him, he's a good little guy, and so far, at least, everyone is pretending along. Sometimes I pick him up and feel like a question mark is above my head hahaha. Like I'm missing something. But he's worth my time. He's worth my time in the same way daydreaming can be fun. I don't know how to fckng word this. He is good. Real or not, he is good. I can't imagine trying to "prove" his "realness," and I also don't know how. I don't mind devoting time to him, real or not, because he is good. agh. I hope this makes sense. I've been sitting on these thoughts for at least three years now.

[ssozo]

I am giving you a gush pass 🫴🎟️

congrats you may now summon me in battle when needed and i will die for you

johnathans biggest thing is he wants to feel vindicated. i use that word instead of validated or justified or even acknowledged because quite frankly, it doesnt feel like he cares if you actually know the details of what happened to him. i mean yes he'll drop his origin story at the drop of a hat but thats more to elicit sympathy than anything else.

ANYWYA atsv spoilers under the cut bc i am gonna talk about some plot stuff that happens

paragraphh thingy to make sure spoilers stay under

what really got me interested in him in the first place was that first scene in the collider with miles and jeff, when he begins running at miles and screaming for him to "look at me! look at me! you did this to me!" when first of all thats not true. he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. that could have been anyone in the collider room- if it had been any other scientist, would he have cared? would he have laughed at their lack of a face, same as his coworkers did him?

hes placing a fault and a blame on spiderman because he needs someone to blame, because he cant just accept that bad things happen to people for no reason. he wants his trauma to mean something, and he wants that something to be big. so he'll make it big.

in a way, hes painfully aware of his own place in the narrative, and doesnt like it. he wants bigger, better things. he wants control again, because ever since he became the spot nothing (in his eyes) has been under control. and yet! when he gets fully upgraded in mumbattan, he has complete and total control over travelling the multiverse, and what does he do with it? lash out at miles. he doesnt care about what he can do now, he only cares about making his spiderman suffer.

and thats where it is. miles is his spiderman. he doesnt view the other spiderpeople as anything other than nuisances, doesnt view the universes he can visit as anything other than tools.

that and hes also funny. he fixes his imaginary hair when he actually meets spiderman for the first time. "hypothesis. im going to put my head in that hole." he stops fighting to watch a chess match. "i used to be quite handsome by scientist standards." saying boop when he presses buttons.

hes just a normal guy who got given weird powers and when everyone started laughing at him for it he decided to become motherfucking hilarious (not comedic)

[ghost-proofbaby]

hi it's 🎸 anon i just got back from hanging out with the guy!! He loved the hat and the guitar i got a hug ☺️ and we were hanging out in his dining room building my Lego set (I got this flower bouquet set and let me tell you driving it home was NOT FUN) and his mom was chatting with us for a while. But we got into the legos and we were sitting with our legs touching the whole time and I am aware this is very innocent but it made me very soft inside. Any time one of us moved away or got up we would go right back to it and it wasn't just me initiating it. He kept making jokes about stuff id say about the Legos like I said I can't get it in and he just giggled at me and I was like 🙄 or I said now it's too small and he was like you said it I didn't 🙄 and I discovered I do not mind inappropriate jokes if it is coming from a cute boy and not my weirdo coworker. And he kept looking over at me and watching me while we were building the Legos it kept making me blush. Once we finished building it (and his mom gave me a cup to put them in. His parents are really nice they've both given me things like his dad gave me yarn they randomly had?) we went to his room and he played his guitar for a while and I was very brave about it and didn't melt into the floor. And his dad came in and this is when he gave me yarn and the guy seemed very ticked off that his dad came in while I was there it was kinda cute. Oh and he made me tell his mom about the coworker and she was rightly appalled. but then we went back out after that and his parents were arguing about dinner like hardcore arguing and it was very awkward for 🎸 anon bc the guy was having trouble with his ear I guess he had surgery when he was younger and it like acts up sometimes so he wasn't hearing very well so I don't even think he heard much of the arguing but i didn't know what to do with myself so when he went out to try to befriend cinnamon (this stray cat they're trying to tame) I ran out after him like SAVE ME IM AWKWARD and we sat out there for a while making friends with the cat. And we came back in and his parents were still arguing and his mom just went to bed and I was like 🫠🫠🫠 But anyway we hung out with cinnamon more and I threw cat treats at him 😂 and then he went into their garage and he laser engraved me a keychain with a cat on it and he kept bumping into me on purpose. But I stayed a little longer and then when I left he walked me to my car and I was telling him I think he needed to go up and down the mountain to pop his ear maybe cause that finally fixed my ear from the plane and then I blurted out and you can visit me! and he was like oh I see what you're doing and I was like what ☺️ I'm not doing anything and he was like maybe and I said okay and he said possibly and I said I'll take it and he said maybe possibly probably and I said I'll take that 😂 and then he hugged me and he was like thanks for hanging out and I said thanks for helping me with the Legos and I went to let go and he DIDNT and he grabbed me closer and I literally think he was trying to pick me up or something cause I stumbled and like fell into him and we like stared at each other for a second and I got into my car and he was like okay tell me when you get home and I said okay and I really wanted him to kiss me and im debating on texting him that 🤔

JUST READ ALL THIS AND IM YEARNING BUT I MUST SOLDIER ON TO THE NEXT UPDATE FUCK NONNIE.

also yeah it’s innocent but sometimes those are the things that just get you, you know? like. the innocence punches you in the gut. it’s the same feeling as realizing you’ve found someone you want by your side no matter how mundane that life may be. see the quote, “in another life, i would have really enjoyed doing taxes with you” (i believe that’s how the quote goes aaaa)

[wonusite]

Im watching masterchef allstar and there is one contestant that cought my eye so bad cuz in his season i didnt even like him that much but now im looking disrespectfully 👀👀

Now im also thinking about how high school acquaintance (i got help from translate htf do you remember to spell this) jun would be just-an-acquaintance to you but when you step into adult life and start working you became coworkers with this just-an-acquaintance wouldnt be just-an-acquaintance anymore. You would see him in a different light, he is now more mature, more handsome, more chatty, more attractive...

Also definitly by accident you saw his boner before he was able to hide it and you now know he is definitly bigger, not than his high school self but than avarage

And you may not be able to take your eyes off his hands while you should be focusing to the meeting but luckily nobody notices right?

he certainly didn't smirk in your direction because he was aware of your gaze, he was just grinning at something the man next to him said, probably an inside joke between the two

And no of course he doesnt check you out at every chance he gets because he is not ready to dive between your thighs and never leave again (he feels guilty, leave him alone)

Thats just all in your head, he is just-an-acquaintance

AND IF I COMBUST BC OF THE MUTUAL PINING UNTIL YOU TWO SNAP AND CONFESS BEFORE JUST LETTING HIM FUCK YOU UNTIL HE’S ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT 😩😩😩

[jujurose222]

Tumblr is for the know it all’s. I don’t want to be a know it all, but I am, and I try my hardest not to be so annoying. But like it just happens and i dont know how. I’m tired of like shaming myself though, I’m just sharing knowledge I know, without considering feelings and that’s where the problems come in. I have been trying really hard not to be so insensitive. So apologies to anyone who I’ve been a know it all too, I’m sorry for spilling my nerd juice all over you, it was inconsiderate. Most of the time I just overwhelm people with a butt fuck of information in one sitting, I try to speak as fast as my mind is moving and watch their faces fall so quickly. I’ve only met one person who could keep up more than anyone I know. Even so, I’m still in another world talking about some buffoonery nobody is even aware of. Also when I’m with him I can control this more, it’s so strange, it’s like something is being communicated silently. Versus anybody else, everything sort of clashes, does not blend. Information just bounces off their brains back to me. With him, information I give is going somewhere, i dont know where, and being sent back to me, but not always through voice. Something silent. He sends me information that i dont even know what im doing with, but im doing something without thinking about it. It’s like looking at a symbol or artwork, it produces something inside you, an energy meant to propel you somewhere. Our energy exchange propels me like looking at paintings of gods and goddesses. Stories of our Psyches that come from the stars. Looking in his eyes is like looking in these paintings that are like looking in the stars. I say “in” not “at” very specifically, because I do not mean superficially. I mean consciously realizing the act of admiring and indulging in these pieces of art is doing something to me energetically. It’s so much more than body, but the body is the entrance to this. His body is my entrance to the heavens. Like the snake is the entrance to the world. I see the cosmos inside of him, inside, inside, inside. Subterranean realms below my earth, the subterranean realms inside him are fascinating. They are dark and gloomy, and I want to see them, so I can climb up to his paradise. But now that I think of it, I’ve been inside his subterranean realms for a while. Help me get out of the hive mind? I pray and pray but my faith is blind here. But I asked for this, I did. I swear I did. I knew what I signed the day I opened my eyes. I knew what I was beginning the day I heard my coworker talk about him. I knew what I wanted, there was no stopping what came over me. Because I signed a more important contract before I came to earth. Like an old cartoon where the characters eyes bulge out of their head, I felt that way when I saw him. I had never been a girl to admire in such a way, not in such a deep way. I was able to see so far into his eyes, endless surprise like the stars in my night sky. Nobody’s eyes have been so enticing, “oh I met him before.” Maybe, but that’s not even what I mean, it’s so much more than that. His eyes fuel a fire inside me, one of love and passion for creation. Creation of art, words, timelines, dreams, doorways. Holds out his hand, insinuating, after you, but he still manages to take lead even from behind me.

I love him so much. So much to the point it endlessly terrifies and excites me, just like every amazing opportunity in my life. Except this one is more severe than anything I’ve ever known. I love him so bad, I cannot contain myself. I love him so bad, it physically pains my soul to think of him being cold. I would like to show him warmth. But my therapist said, “you shouldnt help someone unless they ask for help.” She said this before I did what I did. Before I left him to enjoy the cold, because he never asked for my warmth. I did what she said, and we still hurt. But it is not the end. I know it, you’re a fool. The fool is ruled by Aries. Don’t think I don’t know the part well, I’ve played it endlessly, even as a know it all. They just consider my information, tomfoolery. Despite the truth resounding in their bones. I love him. I love you. I love the feeling I get beside you. I love life because I met you, it’s true good things happen on earth, thank you proving that to me.

[ghostfishk]

litterally the worst shift ever

i get there at 430. full of energy because i litterally spent all day sleeping. i am in orders for an hour, and at 530 my manager walkies for me. she tells me that at 6 im being taken OUT of orders and put on self checkout. technically i had the option of self checkout or check lane but self checkout is generally more chill. in my opinion/previous experience atleast. so i get up there at 6. and its going pretty good, until its time to start sending people to breaks. so i send someone on thier break, and get trained on guest service/basically the help counter. it’s pretty easy, not that different from my other job. and then the person training me leaves for the day, and we close the help desk. all good. i redirect people to the check lane where someone can help them with returns or exchanges, and i help with pickup orders as much as i can. all is well. i start closing registers. and then it hits 9pm. and another person up front leaves, because she’s a minor and can’t work past 9? or so, due to labor laws and shit. all good all well. there’s someone gathering carts, someone in a check lane and me on self checkout. and i ask my manager “hey, what’s the plan for pulling cash for these?”

and she walks me through it, i close two of the self checkouts and it’s was a busy last hour so im not able to get to the other two in time. and then at 9:58, someone walkies. “have we done any closing announcements? there’s still a pretty good amount of people in here” my fucking heart drops and suddenly, all the adrenaline i have had pushing me along for the past four hours fucking vanishes. i feel like i failed, i still feel like i failed closing self checkout even tho i did everything else right. and it’s not even like we were held up that much after, not at all really. no one was mad at ME, that i knew of, but i feel like i failed everyone.

worked with him today. i genuinly thought i was over it, but talking to him at any point today made my brain complete mush. and it’s so fuckrd up. :((

me him and B, a girl i graduated with and genuinely really enjoy working with were standing and talking while i was bagging an order, now i have an intense “fear” of being watched while i do things so i stop and talk to them. he, in like a really fake serious tone goes “K—(name) what are you doing?? keep stowing your order” i laugh, and start doing something and i look over and there talking but he’s also just staring me down. and then he says “im just gonna stare at you while you stow this” i, being me, get flustered, and babble some random ass sounds and a

“please don’t >:(“ as he laughs and walks away

and that just, solidified my stupid feelings for this probably straight man who ONLY sees me as a coworker/possible “friend”

and then he took over orders, because by the time he left for the day orders would’ve flipped over for the night, and dispite my protest to the manager of “why not put him up front, where he enjoys being more than orders or gm, and where he’s fully trained everywhere, vs me who’s only trained checkout?” but she just kinda blew it off not wanting to make it more complicated than it was (it wasn’t complicated, she just can’t make up her mind)

but every time he’d walk by i couldn’t help but glance over at him. a mix of needed to be aware of everything around me, and also it just being him.

and we’d shoot the shit but he was mostly focused on his orders, which as he should be.

he does make it more worth it to get though shifts, even if litterally nothing will happen. his existence makes me happy and the chance of being actual friends with him, does the same.

speaking of friends, learned today that i won’t be able to be with my friends on a day we all got off specifically to hangout and watch the new season of heartstopper togeather. and today E told me that actually!! only one of us can spend the night at her house not the both of us. and the left out one is going to be me, willingly, because i don’t want G to get upset about us choosing to not include him, and i’m just to fucking exhausted to give a shit at this point.

i’m so tired. it’s bed time. altho i might cry myself to sleep tonight because everything hurts and im so overwhelmed and exhausted.

9/20/24

[gaymerasmus]

Ayo, i've arrived for a tf2 matchup bc im assuming ur requests r open? If not we'll pretend this never happened💀 My pronouns are she/he, i'm 5'4, my MBTI is INTJ and my sun sign is gemini. I'm VERY into metal/goth culture and 80s pop/industrial and i wear alot of makeup and dress for shock value p much. I have 10 piercings and a single finger tattoo but i def want more of both soon. I can play bass but not professionally.

I do not seem approachable at all partly due to my fashion choices but also bc of my resting bitch face and mean spirited sarcasm. I harbor severe anger issues that i luckily control most of the time. I keep people at arm's length, even purposefuly "unsettling" them to test them if they are willing to hang out around me since i am p intense as you can tell. Once comfortable around someone i DO NOT stop talking. I love debates/mental stimulation so anyone who's willing to "handle me" and engage into the convo would be ideal.

On another hand, i have a bad habit of bottling up any emotion that isn't anger so i'm def not the best at showing any feelings. I am hyper aware so i can def tell if someone likes me it's just that i myself suck at expressing lmao. The least i do is drop hints and "annoy" others by making up excuses to hang around them.

As for interests, i'm big on sociology, psychology (very fond of analyzing ppl), philosophy as well as being intrigued by anatomy. I love horror and true crime media and am fond of binging movies and videos of said nature.

That would be all, tysm if u so decide to do it💜

Sorry for the wait I hope you like it :))) you've been paired with

Mr. Mundee Motherf*cking Snoipah!

It took one look at you to activate this man's Simp neuron and it has not turned off since.

Maybe a little "opposites attract" but something about the difference in your style really gets him going.

Adding on to that point, it seems like that difference also plays into your dynamic personality-wise. Unless he's been drinking (or hanging around you) he really doesn't speak much, but loves to listen to you ramble.

The only exception to this would be when he feels like going back and forth on things you both find interesting. Anyone outside of this might say it looks like bickering more than a debate, but he really does love talking with you. He can't help but smile when your face lights up as you think up another point to make.

Another difference would be how you act when you realize the other has caught feelings. You may not show it much, but that doesn't stop Sniper from straight up asking if you've developed feelings at the first hint. He would also be extremely blunt about how he feels in return, but he definitely won't say anything if you don't question it.

However it really isn't that difficult to tell with him. He finds you distracting, to say the least. It's very easy to catch him staring at your newest outfit or makeup, or just you altogether. Blushes like crazy when you call him out on it though.

Sometimes on a slow day he might try to find you on his scope, nestled away in his tower where he can (spy) admire you in peace.

He'll definitely say like "hate to see you leave, love to watch you go" or something corny like that to flirt.

He'll never admit it but he enjoys the company you offer. He spends a lot of time alone and, despite it being "just work", sometimes he can't help but feel isolated.

So, even though you do sometimes really annoy him, he loves having you around. He wouldn't mind the occasional visit to his nest while he's working, he might even give you a shot at sniping people.

Oh and good luck trying to ruffle his feathers. Dude's literally died (by his coworker's own hand) seen heaven and came back (also by his coworker's hand). Not to mention before that he tied up his boss and other coworker and threatened to mutilate them for answers about his parents. Man is the master of being unsettled, but he doesn't mind you trying.

Part of why you get along so well may also be because Sniper is an Aries! (I did a little sleuthing and found NOTHING so I drug myself though as many birthday headcanons as I could find and came out with January 23rd.) Gemini and Aries are often paired together because of their shared habit of connecting on an intellectual level.

All of this points toward a match that would be stimulating as well as understanding. Wether it be work or personal reservations, Sniper isn't one to let people get too close too often. So when he feels a connection with you he can't stop himself from wanting to be spoiled by your company. He just thinks you're really cool <3

[ruumirmir]

HEHHEHGHEHGHHHEHEHGH HOW COULD I NOT GET THE HOUSE OF WOLVES REFERENCE that was THE roman empire that got me So invested into the harbingers. ESPECIALLY PANTALONE cause the umbrella + gun combo was Doing it for me. Ladies first ig cause Navia is slaying that gunbrella now ＞︿＜

J Michael Tatum agenda coming in with the STEEL CHAIR in the holy year of 2024 cause the new black butler season just dropped OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wdym sebastian is wearing GLASSES with the HANGING METAL CHAINS as well. I will die perhaps. Also im breaking my silence today: I think Pantalone's japanese VA was the biggest L of the century. Naur..... why is it that deep.... Threw me off so hard.... IM going to rank the VA's in order of how i like them:

English (beautiful. Evil boy. Cunning. Your typical (^_^) faced anime snake. perhaps a little mischievious. Teehee. Fucking kills you <3)

Chinese (your shady coworker. But hes fairly chill. You guys do your accounting maths homework over a cup of coffee sometimes)

Russian (its giving Zhenya from Codename Anastasia. I need to run far away as possible. Sexy 10/10 tho)

Korean (feels like hes mentally spitting on my face. okay damn egocentric ceo boss I wont ever breathe the same air as you please forgive me)

Latin Spanish (yeah i can see it. Kinda. Might have to squint tho.)

French (this is what the commedia del arte pantalone would sound like. VA caster was nawt aware of the gacha game design changes however)

Indonesian (im calling a trusted adult. Speaking like he wants to steal christmas)

JAPANESE (Brother eugh (σ｀д′)σ )

movnig on- MILDLY DEGRADING PANTALONE down on my knees im going 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ nothing rivals a "good boy" imo but MMMM. maybe. JUST A LITTLE. very small amount to keep reader on his toes. We wouldn't want to make the Loverboy cry- Also my small HC that earlier on in Pantalone's years of fatui work,, he had a much shorter temper that blew up in places. inexperienced with ambitions and was much more OPEN with his emotions. But now as we're seeing it- mellowed out over the years. Devleoped a GOOD poker face,, a businessman is nothing without one after all. Does this make sense-

Ough Pantalone with that aura of cocksure appreciation and disapproval to prod and poke loverboy off his rails of fear and reservations to grow into his own beautiful and deadly UNIT . Which the future harbinger would love to keep under his thumb. "Im doing whats best for you" kinda thing.

Thats the very basic spoiler-free skeleton principle of what drives Hannibal- if you've seen/read it by now ...(*￣０￣)ノ Hannibal recognizes the deep buried down potential of Will Graham becoming someone like him and pushes him towards it. Hannibal doesn't DO the corruption arc,, just winds up the key on the toy's back and watches it go. Tips one domino to send it tumbling all on its own. Thats how pantalone would operate i think. Its never NOT a game of chess for him.

Ririto brain fart moment?? 😭😂 its ok bb i forgive your big silly happens to the best of us </3 Who did you think to write as the Anon source? Some chara we already know? 👁👁

OKAY that was outta NOWHERE- dont worry,, like father like son- hes gonna be riding THE fatui dick during his career at somepoint too- WOOAAHHHH who said that . Hilarious how this is suposed to be a Male reader but i wouldnt mind self inserting as pantalone cause a Loverboy whimpering audio isnt something I'd pass up.

NOW onto the main event: I've done some thinking for the small revisions/ fitting that oneshot into the timeline,, Reader is a born and raised Snezhnayan,, Pantalone is born in Liyue (pry this hc from my dead HANDS hoyoverse) but he's renounced that nation and its god for never lending a helping hand,, and now resides in Snezhnaya under the Tsaritza. Based on Arlecchino's jab at him in the Lazzo trailer,, Im assuming Pantalone RARELY ever travels out of snezhnaya.

For this,, let's just say: This is Loverboy's 3rd year of service, where all fatuus are mandated to carry out orders abroad. Work experience and what not. Maybe 4-ish months into working bank in liyue, reader is vibing- but orders come from Pantalone,, a handful of fatui are expected to dig up dirt on a Liyuean man's business and report back to Pantalone. It's CEO boss would be meeting Pantaloone soon. Small group project. No biggie. Loverboy isn't stupid. The fatui didnt make it to where they are WITHOUT underhanded ethics.

So he goes. Back to snezhnaya in his group with trade secrets in tow. The meeting goes terribly. bullets and blades fly. So does loverboy and pantalone out a window. A hydro vision is granted. Pantalone does the kill FOR reader. You know how it goes-

Im thinking that this mission with loverboy's first blood can be the follow up Part 2 of that. Pantalone gets to: 1. tie up loose ends with any witnesses that got away. Can't have the scandal of a failed endeavor run thorugh the streets. 2. take his relatively naive subordinate for a spin. He simply Had to see what made Celestia grant their authority unto loverboy. And not him

Afterwards when all is said and done, man killed and Loverboy dismissed back to liyue to finish his final year of duty,, pantalone can rest a little easy knowing reader is on the right track for now,, afterall, there's only so much he can do as a High ranked fatui Officiant. He has his own goals to conquer for now,, maybe he'll get back to his loverboy pet project After becoming a Harbinger.

Good things come to those who wait. It's a matter of how long. I think pantalone can already guess that reader would quit the fatui business after his mandated 3 years. Thats fine with him tho. He know's Loverboy would come right back.

BONUS ANNOTATED THOUGHT:

His smile doesn't falter. "Speak up. When we want things, we ask for them directly. Do I make myself clear?" You hastily nod as best you can. 

plus this part from my other req:

Regrator is 28, and then 29, and then 30. And his offer is finally accepted afterall, because he needs to resist smirking at the one who came crawling back.

OOoOOoOOoooOOOoO what if this was the character development of what pantalone said to him. After the time skip of many years, Loverboy returns with a sharp glint in his eyes, stalks right up to Pantalone with his gaze held firmly and asks- if not, downright demands to avail that extended offer now. Loverboy does want (him) it now.

ok thats enough yapping for now i fear. Goodnight everypony-

Ok lets go SImply reblogging your oneshot for my req isn't enough i need to analyze and annotate the entire thing like a literature professor and tell you Everything. (✿◡‿◡)

pantalone might be ooc

He's not!!!!!! by which i think this is fairly a Really Good portrayal of the guy considering the 5 sentences we know about him. He's strict!!! frankly a little scary!! And also chill and positive about loverboy!! But it felt Just Right!!!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

descriptions of blood

description so good i might as well have killed that man myself

...pretend that his lore has a spot where this fits perfectly

I think i can make it fit!! would you be cool with making minor changes if so?

"You're very good at what you do."

Imagining the same voice as sebastian michaelis saying this with the sexiest buttersmooth voice is eviscerating me. Very self-indulgent but praise kinks will always slay so hard.

...on the verge of stabbing him a moment ago. 

This,, and the small thing i wrote about loverboy launching them both out the window to escape an onslaught of assassins in my other req. get you a ship where one of them has completely normal knee-jerk reactions to kill the other <3

...as he crushes their hand beneath his shoe without mercy

Fatui Harbingers - House of Wolves - KIERU 0:15

...Instead, Pantalone looks unfazed by it all, stopping as he reaches the other side of you, free of most of the blood. He greets you with a knowing smile as he usually does.

hey ririto this is so ominous and eerie for some reason not known to me. Just the backdrop of grey and snow and probably a gruesome corpse right next to loverboy and Pantalone has a silent smile through everything. Delicious sentence 10/10.

"I knew making you a banker was a good idea,"

THIS IS SO. The confidence and quite calm assurance that pantalone says this with is SO. You'd never be sure whether to lean into it and let out a sigh of relief,, o r back up further becuase it sounds so good but all in the wrong ways.

...thumb brushing across your bottom lip slicked with blood.

fellas is it professional to feed double edged words of honey to your young inexperienced subordinate while kneeling in front of his battered and bruised self who killed someone for you,, and run a gloved thumb across his blood soaked lip. ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )

"Who knew you had so many other talents,"

you are infusing these dialouges with crack cocaine giggling kicking my feet while being slightly concerned because Sir. What do you mean by that.

"Ah ah," he says, a harshness seeping into even just that sound. "Stay."  You stay put,

thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy.

"Lord Harbinger," you try to say

yes,, this could be a minor thing to adjust: i think we could actually fit this oneshot somewhere AFTER he gets his vision,, and BEFORE Pantalone becomes the Harbinger Regrator. Can be a valid reason for Pantalone to see that reader failed to kill the assassin from their shitty negotiation meeting,, and wanting to newly test him again after he had his vision + ambitions awakened to see if he can get past the fear of killing NOW. (Even then,, maybe due to inexperience/unfamiliarity of using visions, reader didn't think to raise his advantage of supernatural powers against another visionless man in this scenario.)

I'd think his first kill was one of the factors that caused him to leave after his 3year duty, not sticking around for Pantalone's promotion to Regrator.

"You are much like your father."

Top 10 things Not to say to someone with daddy issues-

...they're as wet behind the ears as you are.

Dear diary, Today i learned a new speech of expression

...Pantalone's hand that rests on your chin moves... "Now, try again. Dear banker, whatever do you mean?" 

this whole paragraph. What on earth do you mean 'ooc pantalone'. This is the MOST pantalone thing you could've written. Strict and intimidating about improving reader's meek attitude. a Push in the right direction.

"Is this a test?" you manage, words muffled by the way he squishes your face like putty beneath his fingers.

(thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy) x2

...and you know who, regardless of how 'anonymous' that source may have been in his words.

I MAY BE STUPID. （；´д｀）ゞ I CANT TELL. who you are hinting towards 😭😭

"Hold this," he adds, an unnervingly tender instruction for the way he was just behaving. 

There he is. its reminding me of: the same pantalone that washed reader with a clock in my very first req to you.

...looking probably about as pathetic as you think you do.

POV: You're Pantalone looking down at Loverboy.

I forgot how much of a bug-eyed wet dog loverboy is before his time-skip "character development" so to say. Thanks i love him.

"next time someone approaches you from behind, don't wait to stab them. Don't reach for your wet knife with your wet hands, either. Both of those things will get you killed."

I think pantalone is entirely having too much fun with observing Loverboy try climbing the ropes to how REAL fatuus run business.

"Come now. You want to go home and back to Liyue, don't you? I'm tired of this cold." 

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ back to liyue??? Loverboy is Liyuean??? pantalone stays in liyue??? I ALWAYS THOUGHT arlecchino called pantalone a bitch in Signora's funeral for "never leaving the comfort of his homeland?" Whuh-?

ALL IN ALL,, CLOSING THOGUHTS,, GOOD FOOD RIRITO DINNER HAS BEEN SERVED, ATE, AND LICKED CLEAN 10/10 ILY

I GOTT THIS JUST BEFORE I WENT TO SLEEP AND ONLY JUST GOT THE TIME TO ANSWER IT BUT I KNEWWW YOU WOULD GET THE HOUSE OF WOLVES REFERENCE

That is true actually and I realised after I posted it that like, wtf is in character for him?? 😭 he's said like two things and while I have memorised those things they're not a lot to go off but I'm glad you enjoy him (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪

Also if you can make it fit, feel free ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ I sorta only had a vague idea of where it might go, but at that point in time, loverboy works abroad in the Northland Bank. I'll also throw in that he travelled there for that job and unfortunately does not come from Liyue 😔 (unless he's supposed to?? I got the impression he was from Snezhnaya) it was more a "I bet you'd love to be back at a desk job rn" or something to that effect, loverboy is going back to the bank once things are settled where he belongs but Pantalone isn't going with him (hence why they're in Snezhnaya when this happenscause I also interpret at as him not liking to leave Liyue)

I'm so glad the J Michael Tatum love never stops but also you're so right praise kinks absolutely do. I also noticed that them trying to kill each other is like, a repeated theme so far 😭⁉️ LIKE WHEN PANTALONE WENT TO FIND HIM LAST ONESHOT HE WAS GONNA KILL THAT FUCKER

Confident possibly mildly degrading Pantalone is literally my favourite thing, like I chew on him. I chew on him being unnervingly calm because what would he have in the eyes of a wet mop boy besides an unwavering poker face. Get yourself a man who uses the blood of your enemies like your lipstick and knows he made good choices stationing you at his shady probably money laundering black hole of debt he calls a bank

Yk I agree actually I was trying to figure the timeline out in my head and realised it would've made more sense to happen before he was a Harbinger so I agree with this revision that actually makes it fit the lore and if I ever decide to make it a longer multichapter fic I'll definitely fix that 💀 t'was a victim of laziness

YES YES THIS Pantalone basically shaping him up so he doesn't literally die and being strict with it get so him. He'll prompt him to say it again but won't let it slide because that behaviour isn't going to be beneficial, especially not with someone who may be working under him long-term

I went back to read the part about the anonymous source line came from, and I think I figured out what happened here, so allow me to explain  (;ﾟдﾟ)   Ok so, it has a bit to do with the weird way I wrote this because when I said I wrote this on the train that was half a lie. I wrote some of it on the train and the rest at the library where I also edited what I already had because the spelling mistakes were atrocious. I did write down who it was but cut it when I decided it cluttered the story a bit which retrospectively was also a mistake because I didn't think about the fact it would seem like I was hinting at something at the time (ﾟ▽ﾟ*) the shorter, boring answer is that there's no one Ririto did a big silly and cut context in the chaotic editing this suffered

LMAO NOT THE CLOCK AGAIN

I love him the wet mop boy. I was like I want him to be at least a lil pathetic rn because his concerns are completely different. He's thinking about how to not die, and how much he misses his mom and his much fatui dick his dad must've been riding before death to think this career path was worth it (slash JOKING but he is still wondering why his father would have done this job willingly) that and I think men who whimper are cute thanks for coming to my Ted talk

HE IS ENJOYING IT and I love it sm

Hehe I am glad to know you haven't gone hungry today (^o^) and such high ratings for the banker and loverboy

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hellooo can I request Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo with a platonic, female reader that's younger and they giver her a headpat? Like she comes back from a mission and they're proud of her and they headpat her. And she goes 0-0? Ty, and bonne journee!

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.8 K in total

A/n: Im more into romantic stuff but hears for you :D

Part 2 with Chuuya and Akutagawa

↬Dazai

◆Ok I love this guy (not in a platonic way lmao)

◆I think that he would be a sweet person toward you.

◆I mean, you look so innocent that he just cant bring himself to tease you T^T

◆And since he has Atsushi, he wont ask you to do his work lol

◆Anyway… you got paired up with Atsushi to do a really hard mission. Since you were a rookie at the agency and didn't really expect this much danger, you were a bit careless and although you accomplished the mission, Atsushi got shot while protecting you.

◆You immediately took him back to the infirmary room and waited outside.

"Hes gonna be ok, you know?" Dazai smiled while witnessing how upset and worried you were. "Hes been through worse, and when I say worse, I definitely mean it" "I know, but…" you mumbled, trying to fight the guilty feeling that was taking over you, but failed to do so. "I was just holding him back. He was better off without me. Im sure he could manage to do the mission all by himself and not get a single scratch. I was just a burden to him" He simply chuckled and let out a small sigh. "Stop overthinking it. Youre not a burden" "Yes I- " your words were immediately cut off when you felt his hand on your head, gently caressing your hair. The guilt you were feeling was immediately replaced with a warm, sweet sense, which made your head turn to your coworker and look at him with your mouth widened. The shock and surprise in your eyes made him chuckle one more time. "What?" "Are you flirting with me?" "Wha- Oh my god!" You turned your head at the opposite direction, just to hid your heated cheeks, as you heard him laughing even harder.

↬Fyodor

◆This guy gets his way out of manipulation all the time.

◆But the case is a bit different with you.

◆Youre actually nice to him without having other intentions, so hes interested in you (in his own way, cuz I cant see him in love tbh)

◆The only thing you want from him is to treat you the same as you treat him.

◆He somehow feels like youre a trustworthy person, and he doesn't how to even predict your actions since youre loyalty has no boundries. You were like a underling or a partner; you were more like… a friend.

◆I don't think youre ever gonna hear him say that though.

"So? How was the mission?" He asked, while standing near the chair you were sitting on, looking at the soda you were drinking. "Meh. I did everything you told me to" "And? " "And It all went exactly the way you planned, and don't act like youre not already aware of that" You took a big sip of your soda to wash awat the exhaust you were going through. This mission was a tricky one, and it needed a lot of effort and energy. Fyodor put a small smile on his face, As he slightly patted your head. "Good job, y/n" And that was when the drops of soda got shot out of your mouth.

↬Ranpo

◆This is literally my first time writing about him so sorry if its not good enough.

◆Ok so hes not one to be proud of others or at least to show it, so were not expecting him to do much here.

◆Hes always minding his own business, and by that I mean mostly his sweets, and sometimes the cases he to solves.

◆But he watches you trying t get close to him to be friends, even bring him homemade cookies in addition to that, hes a tiny, tiny bit touched.

◆You really liked and admired the detective, and he knew that. (I mean bruh! this is Adogawa Ranpo were talking about)

◆So he lets his guard down a bit. Maybe youre not that dull after all :)

"Phew! Finally I can have a rest" You sighed out of relief, sitting in front of Ranpo who was decorating his desk with his sweets. He gave you a small look before grabbing the pocky Packet. "Don't get your hopes up. Kunikida will make you fill another report in a few minutes" "What? But I just came back from a mission! I worked really hard! Don't I deserve a rest?" Your whiney tune made him look back at you, and examine the bruises on your arm that were the result of your hard work on the mission. He knew that working could be really exhausting, and he knew that you were serious about your occupation. Yeah, you did deserve a rest. You placed your head on the desk in front of you and closed your eyes to have a quick rest before starting to work again, when you sensed a hand, slowly patting your head. Your eyes immediately got wide open , and were pointed at the detective, who was looking at his candies while patting you. Ranpo. Adogawa. Was. Patting. You. "You did work hard. Well done" All of the exhaustness inside you faded away as you got excited and smiled at him. "Really?" "yeah" "So… Can I have a cookie?" "Know your place, y/n" "Tch, youre so mean"

Reblogs are appreciated :)