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Neon Genesis Evangelion, Episode 4: “Rain, After Running Away”/”Hedgehog’s Dilemma” Review
Neon Genesis Evangelion, Episode 4: “Rain, After Running Away”/”Hedgehog’s Dilemma” ( Original air-date: 10/25/95)
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma is referenced by Misato when discussing Shinji. The Hedgehog’s Dilemma was created by Arthur Schopenhauer, a German philosopher who ended up making an enormous impact in the world of philosophy from the late 1880′s and onward. It concerns our relationship with other human beings, and that through relationships, we open ourselves to harm, both for ourselves and for others. Being honest with someone, an honesty where we make ourselves open, our deepest fears and faults, our desires and shame, that’s horrifying. Because that type of honesty would mean we make ourselves vulnerable. We’re saying “This is who I am. Not the facade I put up when in the company of others. This is the real me.”. And there’s a reason why we don’t show this truth, why we hide it from others. It’s because we’re scared of the reaction, the rejection we feel we’ll get if we’re so brutally honest. We’re opening ourselves to a world of hurt. 
This is only the 4th episode, and I feel that this applies to Shinji. We’re consistently reminded of his relationship with others, and his ultimate loneliness. Take for instance the scene in the movie theater. There are barely any people there, but there is one couple cuddling and kissing together in their seats. Shinji watches, first with a blank-stare on his face, and then eventually, a look that resembles anger. They are a reminder of where he is, and how he has no one. 
After he’s left Misato’s apartment, we watch a 2-minute long static shot of him sitting with his head down on the subway. Time passes and we see people fade from a crowd, to a group, to a couple of people, to one, and then, alone. There’s no dialogue, no narration in this sequence. People will pass by in his life, but in the end, he’s alone. He’s always been alone. 
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Prior to the events of the series, he’s had this existence for so long. But this place, this offers something resembling hope. Misato gives him the choice of either staying or going, he’s shown at the edge of the frame, alone, shrouded and surrounded by darkness. By the entryway, where Misato is, she lets in a sliver of light. She’s giving him the chance of being a part of something, and the way it’s framed, it’s something that can save him from himself. 
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Before, when asked whether he wants to continue piloting Unit 001, he makes this decision by basing it on what others want. He wants to please them. He needs to please them, because he deeply cares what others think of him. He wants others to not see him as he sees himself: a “coward”, “weakling”. In the 1st episode, when the 1st Angel is attacking Tokyo-3, and the base is shaking, he huddles down, saying to himself “Don’t run away”. Maybe if he keeps piloting Unit 001, others will see him as brave, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll see himself as such. This is an important episode, because Shinji makes the choice of staying in Tokyo-3, and continuing to pilot EVA. Prior to this, he was essentially forced to do this, so the story can’t continue without him having some sort of agency. Him now making a conscious decision to stay establishes him as an active protagonist. 
I should probably get to the “recapping” aspect of, well, a recap. In the beginning of the episode, it’s been 5 days since Shinji last went to school. Misato wakes up, only to find him gone, leaving a note stating that he is running away. Most of the episode has Shinji not interacting with others, nor him having much dialogue. He’s left alone to contemplate where he wants to go, where his “home” is. Misato, tired that Shinji doesn’t want to stay, nor will he speak up about it, tells him to go. As he’s leaving Tokyo-3, he comes across Aida and Suzuhara, where Suzuhara apologizes (in his own way) of how he treated Shinji. Misato races to the train station, hoping to catch Shinji before he leaves. Seeing the train leave, she thinks that Shinji finally left Tokyo-3, before realizing he has made the decision to stay. 
Shinji has found a place where he can grow. There’s something for him here, in the place. As Shinij says:
“I’m home.” 
“Welcome home”, says Misato. 
Grade: A
Other Thoughts:
I thought it was a nice touch having the film that’s playing out in the theater be a blockbuster retelling of the Second Impact. The film industry has never found a real natural disaster, or tragedy, that it couldn’t turn into a film, sometimes even a blockbuster.
I’m not sure what to make of that surreal sequence of Shinji in the city. The dutch angles, the reddish-pink color palette, the city itself moving, and the building, unbearable sound that pierces Shinji’s ears. I can assume it’s a representation of him being out in the world, and how unbearable it can be to be in an area where you’re alone with your thoughts, and your isolation. But for some reason, I had the suspicion that it indicates something bigger, bigger in terms of the mythology of the show. I don’t know. We’ll see. 
It's awesome that Misato has a NERV clock. 
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Neon Genesis Evangelion: “Angel Atack”, The Beast”/Unfamiliar Ceilings”, “A Transfer”/”The Silent Phone”
Episode 1: “Angel Attack”, Episode 2: “The Beast”/”Unfamiliar Ceilings”, Episode 3: “A Transfer”/”The Silent Phone”. (Original air-dates: 10/4/95, 10/11/95, 10/18/95)
I’ve watched the pilot about 4 times, I think. The first time was on YouTube before it was shortly taken down. The second time, I think, was also YouTube. The third, it was some site that isn’t widely used, or rather endorsed? And the fourth was Myspace, believe it or not. I don’t know if it’s still on there, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was. No one would bother checking that site, it’s a dead zone. 
Anyway, I assume that you can see a pattern through these different routes. For years, it was hard for those in the US to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion. You could buy the discs, sure, but for anyone else who couldn’t go out and buy the discs, there was no syndication for the series on TV. Well, until late last year, when Netflix announced it had acquired the rights to the landmark anime. I, among many, many others, was incredibly excited by this news. I’ve been meaning to see the series for several years, and now I have the chance to see it. Everything I’ve heard about the series, about its greatness, its importance, I could finally see it myself. But there was a small, small fear that I had with this, “I could see it myself”. The harder it was for me to watch it, and the more I read about how great the series was, my expectations grew alongside it. And I was worried that it had reached impossibly high standards. Could they be met? Would they be met?
I’ve seen the first 3 episodes now, and I have to say, they’re really good. Of course, I have what 23 episodes more to watch, and I know it’s pretty early to know of how I’ll feel about the series by the end of it. But so far, I’m interested. It’s weird how while I’ve read how revolutionary and groundbreaking the series was, I didn’t know that much about the world or the characters that live in it. The series is set in Tokyo-3, about 15 years after a meteor (which I can assume was an Angel) crashed in Antarctica, melting the ice "in an instant”. This led to an extinction-level event, “The Second Impact”, that wiped out half of humanity, as well as countless other species, across the globe. Shinji, the protagonist, is called by his father to come to Tokyo-3, where he’s made the pilot of Unit 001, or “EVA”. This... mecha (?) was created to fight Angels, who have returned after so many years, for mysterious reasons. Okay, I’m not going to recap the 3 episodes I’ve seen, because 1) it’s a lot to cover, and 2) I’m lazy. 
Shinji is an interesting protagonist because he’s the opposite of what you’d normally see. You’d expect a brave, cocky, etc. kind of hero, but Shinji isn’t that, he’s... real. He’s an isolated kid, who doesn’t have anyone in his life. I sense that Shinji is also someone who has a fair amount of self-hatred. I was surprised by how much I saw myself in him. He’s not the cool hero we’d see in a story of giant robots fighting giant monsters. And that’s already something I really liked, the other thing being the series isn’t that interested in huge fights between robots and monsters. I mean, there are such fights, and they’re gorgeous to look at. But this series seems to be more interested in the physical and psychological toll it’ll take on young Shinji. And that’s what grabs me. 
I like cool animated fights as much as the next person (I’m a human being after all), but this is something I’ve been looking for for a long time.
Episode 1: “Angel Attack”: B+
Episode 2: “The Beast”/”Unfamiliar Ceilings”: A-
Episode 3: “A Transfer”/”The Silent Phone”: A-
Other thoughts:
So, this isn’t gonna be a one-off post on Neon Genesis Evangelion, or EVA. In fact, this is going to be the first of 20 or so posts. What I’m going to try to do here is watch an episode or 2, and after I’ve watched them, I’ll write up a recap of the events as well as my thoughts and a grade. This is something I’ve never done before, so hopefully, I don’t chicken out. 
One of the more interesting revelations, or rather implications, is that Unit 001, or EVA, is an organic being. I originally thought before I started the series, that they were just run of the mill mechas. But the fact that they’re grown, and that they’re somewhat sentient, given the fact that it took control and fought the Angel on its own, is an interesting wrinkle on the typical mecha vs. kaiju fight. 
I said this briefly earlier, but the animation in these episodes are stunning. The designs for EVA and the Angels are fantastic, as well as the design of Tokyo-3. I might try to do a ranking of Angels in the future, but for now, the 1st Angel’s design is probably the best I’ve seen (out of 2 total). The 2nd is good, and I like the fact that what I thought was its eyes are instead eyespots and its somewhat centipede-like body shape. But I still love the 1st Angel’s look. 
Shinji’s dad is a real assh*le, huh?
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Overall Feelings on the Very Existence of The Last of Us Part 2
Note: Spoilers for the ending of The Last of Us. 
“Okay”. Cut to black. That’s how Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us ended. Within that one word, and its immediate cut to credits, The Last of Us solidified itself as one of the best games of the 21st century. The game didn’t end with an absolute happy ending, nor a dark ending. It ended instead with ambiguity. Does Ellie believe Joel’s lie? How will she move on with the knowledge that everything she's sacrificed and everything she went through was now for nothing? The Last of Us didn’t give an answer and instead leaves us with these questions, never to be definitively answered.
This was to, say the least, unexpected. That after 20+ hours, we’re just left with ambiguity. There were debates as to what the ending signified, and whether Ellie believes Joel, and most importantly, whether Ellie will find a way to go on. I consistently thought about these questions, and I sometimes go back and forth on my answer. And I accepted that I, as well as everyone else that played this game, will discover their own answers, each of them valid. So when on December 3rd, 2016 at PlayStation Experience The Last of Us Part 2 was announced, my first reaction to seeing the camera pan out to show a firefly-tagged sign was “Oh sh*t!”. And when the trailer was over, and my adrenaline went down, I said to myself “Oh f*ck”. I realized that since Ellie and Joel will appear in the game, the original game’s defiance to given players a straight answer was for nothing. That game’s ambiguous ending will no longer be ambiguous. The Last of Us Part 2 will have to answer every question the first game’s ending raised. And that’s terrible.
I should have seen this coming, I guess. This was a triple-A game that was a massive success for Naughty Dog and for PlayStation. It’s very success damned it to have a sequel. It was inevitable. I’m ambivalent about The Last of Us Part 2. The reason I’m conflicted or cautious instead of cynical is the fact that Neil Druckmann is an immensely talented writer. When I first saw gameplay of The Last of Us in 2012, I wasn’t that interested in what was shown. Eventually, when it was released, I read reviews that praised the game’s setting, characters, plot, and gameplay, then I got interested. I didn’t expect that the game would end up becoming one of my favorite games ever.
So, in remembering that, I’m cautious because I really, really, really hope that when The Last of Us Part 2 is released, I’ll end up being wrong in worrying that the game would diminish the previous game’s quality. I hope that I’ll be wrong in worrying that the game itself doesn’t warrant it’s existence. I really do. I want to be so wrong that I’ll look back at how worried I was and think, “Wow, I was such an idiot.” Wrong in a way that I’ll be embarrassed that I was worried in the first place. I’m gonna keep my incredibly cautious optimism until its still-unknown release date. Even with how its released gameplay makes it look like The Walking Dead, which is the last thing I would ever want. Maybe it’ll be good, maybe even great. I’m just fooling myself, aren’t I?
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(Updated) What Makes Bob’s Burgers So Special, and Different, From Those Before It
Note: This is an updated version of a previous post, with added paragraphs, examples, statements, and grammatically revised sentences. 
This is a family structure we’ve seen before, both in live-action and adult animation. A heterosexual couple, married, with often three children. Their life centers around not only their antics but of their friends, neighbors, who all have widely distinctive personalities. It’s episodic, without any long-running storylines, and every episode ends with the status quo unchanged. The most distinct, original, and groundbreaking form of this set-up is The Simpsons, which inspired and heavily influenced countless television series in the years after its debut. Since then, television hasn’t really experienced something as innovative and distinct as the Simpsons family and the inhabitants of Springfield. Often, shows that try to mimic the ingenuity and originality of that landmark series fall flat on its face. They want to be that, that series that blew and transformed the minds of both viewers and writers alike. But such a series hadn’t come.
Not until Bob’s Burgers hit the airwaves in 2011.
Now, that series didn’t immediately make an impression on audiences upon its debut. A lot of people saw it as just another animated comedy that probably wouldn’t make it to a second season. But something extraordinary happened. It did make an impression, in time. I, personally, didn’t take to the pilot immediately. So, I decided to start from the second season onward. And I’m glad that I did. This series has grown a large fanbase that creates endlessly imaginative fanart to show their appreciation of the series. So what inspired such a fanbase to form? What differentiates it from the crop of Simpsons knock-offs that aired before it? It had its own identity, a world full of characters that are so, so different from other comedies, either done through single-camera or storyboard.
The patriarch, Bob Belcher, is not the bumbling, idiot, goof-off of a father that every viewer as seen in the last 30 years or so. He’s passionate about his restaurant, accepting and supportive of his children, no matter what love or interest they have, and is one of the many accepting and open-hearted people on the show, albeit with weariness in his eyes. Linda, the matriarch, who would normally be the put-upon, stressed, housewife, is instead prone to flights of fancy and jumps headfirst into whatever interest catches her eye. Tina, the eldest child, is a tween that writes erotic fan fiction (with zombies!), loves boys (and butts!), and is in that stage of growing up that she wants to be considered mature and trying to win over the oblivious boy of her dreams, Jimmy Pesto, Jr. Gene, the middle child, is so unabashedly “Gene” that trying to put him in a little categorical box is near-impossible. And Louise, the youngest, is conniving, rebellious, and cynical, but tries to hide the obviously huge heart that she has.
An animated series, tho, always needs a strong gallery of characters that inhabit the show’s world. Bob’s Burgers has this in spades. Take Teddy, a frequent customer of the titular restaurant, and a close friend of the Belcher family. He is Bob’s one, true friend, and someone who would go above and beyond for the Belcher family over the most mundane problem in a second. Mr. Fischoeder, the rich and incredibly bizarre landlord who owns the restaurant’s building, and who could have easily been a knock-off Mr. Burns but instead became something distinct in its own right. Or Regular-Sized Rudy, Zeke, Andy and Olly, and so on. And probably the most important and beautiful thing about Bob’s Burgers is an idea, a belief that is consistently reiterated through its plotlines and characters: that individuality, and whatever others would consider “weird”, “different”, and doesn’t fit with the status quo should be celebrated, and never shamed. Every character on this series is either an outsider or an underdog, chasing dreams that many would laugh in the face of, and personal identities that don’t align with more conservative values. Be proud of who you are, of what you like, and wear it as a badge of honor, because you should never be ashamed of how you aren’t “what you’re supposed to be”. This series has carved out a dedicated fanbase that recognizes and celebrates this ideal. Bob’s Burgers isn’t like anything currently on tv. And they’re proud of it.
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(Revised) Disney's Ownership of Fox, and Its Signaling of a Radically Different Film Landscape
Note: This is a grammatically revised version of a previous post.
On December 14th of last year, it was officially announced that the Walt Disney Company had acquisitioned 21st Century Fox’s film and television studios for $52.4 billion. This news broke after months of speculation and rumor about the possible acquiring. When the deal was announced, it received a positive response from Marvel comic-book fans for it allowed the possibility for popular properties, such as the X-Men, to crossover with the larger MCU. While fans are ecstatic that Disney is now able to do as they please with these characters, people in and outside the industry have expressed dissatisfaction and worry for the future of not just tentpole Fox franchises like Alien, Predator, and others, but for the end of chances taken on unknown creators and projects that are now seen by most studios as a gamble. The acquisition of 21st Century Fox shows a future where films will be made for their likelihood of success. For films to have weighty names in front and behind the camera, as well as a premise that would not be alienating for targeted audiences. This is already a trend seen in the last few years. If the film revolves around a character that is popular and liked by a large audience and will be seen by audiences of all ages (PG-PG-13), it'll have a much better chance at being greenlit than ones that don’t. And one possibility that is cause for alarm is the fact that Disney is interested in making blockbusters that appeal to a wide demographic and is likely to succeed at the box office, not the output that Fox Searchlight and 21st Century Fox has released in the last year.
The Shape of Water, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, The Post, and such films released by Fox Searchlight, while acclaimed, nominated for, and won, several awards, isn’t likely in Disney’s wheelhouse. While these films either did well or fine at the box office, projects as these will likely not be in Disney’s interest. The MCU, the Star Wars franchise, as well as recent live-action remakes of their animated classics, these are names and properties that will assuredly make a great return to the expectations of Disney execs. Fox has made big-budget films that have either been seen as risky to do or were disasters upon release. Once Disney acquires their tv and film studios, such films, which are now seen as “chances” in this Hollywood landscape, will not see the light of day. Yes, films like Logan and Deadpool 1 & 2 were immense successes, but they were both seen as gambles. The first Deadpool film was given a much lower budget in comparison with its comic-book film counterparts. Only upon it becoming a smash-success did it get a larger budget for its sequel. If these films had been proposed under Disney’s ownership, they would have either been dismissed or revised by higher-ups to such a large extent they would no longer resemble its original vision.
Major film studios are increasingly being pressured into not taking chances anymore. Films released by Paramount Pictures has done rather terribly with the average moviegoer regardless of its good-to-great quality. Martin Scorsese’s historical drama Silence was a box-office failure, despite its favorable response by critics. And Alex Garland’s film adaptation Annihilation too was acclaimed but was box-office disappointment when released in theaters. Both of these films were high-budgeted, had a well-known and bankable cast, and came from respected filmmakers. Paramount Pictures’ selling the rights of Annihilation to Netflix for international distribution speaks volumes of the company’s doubt in the film’s success. This is disappointing for the film, yes, worse it shows that the theatrical landscape has changed significantly from what it said 10 years ago. Disney’s current film distribution has been largely successful and is causing major studios like Paramount Pictures to reconsider the films they’re willing to spend time and money on. And once Disney’s acquisition fully takes effect, there will be a landscape of specially manufactured films that will resemble each other to such a startling effect. Films will be made on the audience’s familiarity with the property, its compatibility for various age groups, and whether the property itself is popular enough to be made. This isn’t occurring in the next 10-20 years. This future is already here.
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Will Superhero Films Go the Way of the Western? Well, They Don’t Have To.
On whether audiences will reach a point of fatigue and disinterest with superhero films, Steven Spielberg said this to the Associated Press in 2015:
“I still feel that way,” he said. “We were around when the Western died and there will be a time when the superhero movie goes the way of the Western. It doesn’t mean there won’t be another occasion where the Western comes back and the superhero movie someday returns.“
When I first read what he said about superhero films eventually going “the way of the Western”, I agreed with him. Multiple MCU films were released in the same year, and DC was then ramping up their own cinematic universe. I completely agreed with this statement, unequivocally. 
There are obvious parallels between the two genres, in terms of success and popularity. Western films were incredibly popular from the early to the mid 20th century. Major film studios churned out countless Western films to feed off its popularity with audiences. But eventually, interest started to die down, and evidently Hollywood stopped focusing on that genre. Sure, there were Westerns that were released after its craze had disappeared, instead, here they questioned the black and white worldview of those past films. And I assumed that the superhero genre itself would go down a similar route. The genre would ride an incredible high, only to then come crashing down, just like the Western. 
Then Black Panther was released. 
In 2018, Black Panther didn’t just become a smashing success at the box-office, it became a cultural sensation. And it deserved it. The film stood out from every MCU film that came before it, and I don’t doubt that it will be remembered as one of the greatest superhero films of all-time. So, what made it so different from the past 17 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? 
Black Panther, unlike not just past MCU films, but past superhero films at large represented a demographic that was almost wholly ignored: black audiences. The film industry as a whole has this problem, of constantly centering around white, straight male protagonists, almost as if they are the majority when they are definitely not. So finally, there is a superhero film that doesn’t just have a black protagonist but has a majorly black cast. Black children could finally see themselves represented in a major property. But it didn’t just have a black cast, it also had themes that had never been talked about in mainstream films before. Its themes centered around colonialism, the African diaspora, Afrofuturism and the film’s setting was in Wakanda, a country completely untouched from the ravages of colonialism. These various components, I believe, that make up the film contributed to its success. Black Panther proved to me that superhero films don’t have to go the way of the Western. Westerns all focused on white males being the hero, and these films never focused on the racial aspect of the West. They never revolved around or even mentioned the genocide of North America’s indigenous population or the slave trade in the U.S. Westerns never used these parts of history in their films. They had a singular point of view. Superhero films, for so long, did this as well. They always had a singular point of view, specifically a straight, white male point of view. So Black Panther proved that there isn’t just some more gas in the tank. It proved that there is a whole vein that has gone untapped by Hollywood. Wonder Woman supports this as well. It pushed the DCEU to success. It provided countless young girls across the world a role model in blockbuster films. It provided a new, and much-needed, perspective and representation in superhero films. And the recently released Captain Marvel has been a massive success for Marvel at the box-office. 
People of color and the LGBTQIA+ community have gone criminally underrepresented and frankly ignored in this film genre. So if film execs realize that various groups have gone unrepresented in the superhero film genre, and they’ve been wishing for so long to have such representation, and if they realize that this is a whole market that has not been used because of their misogynistic, racist, homophobic and transphobic dumbasses, superhero films can keep going for several more years. Such groups being represented can not only give audiences the chance to see themselves on screen, but it also brings in countless new stories that haven’t been seen before. Black Panther did this. So just imagine the new storytelling possibilities for a woman of color to be on-screen dealing with racism and sexism that so many go through in this country. Or a trans character having to constantly deal with someone misgendering them time after time. The list goes on. New representation brings new stories, and this will keep superhero franchises consistently fresh when they could have gone quickly stale. To reiterate, superhero films don’t have to go “the way of the Western”. They can last, they can THRIVE, in the decades to come. 
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Will Superhero Films Go the Way of the Western? Well, They Don’t Have To.
On whether audiences will reach a point of fatigue and disinterest with superhero films, Steven Spielberg said this to the Associated Press in 2015:
“I still feel that way,” he said. “We were around when the Western died and there will be a time when the superhero movie goes the way of the Western. It doesn't mean there won't be another occasion where the Western comes back and the superhero movie someday returns.“
When I first read what he said about superhero films eventually going “the way of the Western”, I agreed with him. Multiple MCU films were released in the same year, and DC was then ramping up their own cinematic universe. I completely agreed with this statement, unequivocally. 
There are obvious parallels between the two genres, in terms of success and popularity. Western films were incredibly popular from the early to the mid 20th century. Major film studios churned out countless Western films to feed off its popularity with audiences. But eventually, interest started to die down, and evidently Hollywood stopped focusing on that genre. Sure, there were Westerns that were released after its craze had disappeared, instead, here they questioned the black and white worldview of those past films. And I assumed that the superhero genre itself would go down a similar route. The genre would ride an incredible high, only to then come crashing down, just like the Western. 
Then Black Panther was released. 
In 2018, Black Panther didn’t just become a smashing success at the box-office, it became a cultural sensation. And it deserved it. The film stood out from every MCU film that came before it, and I don’t doubt that it will be remembered as one of the greatest superhero films of all-time. So, what made it so different from the past 17 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? 
Black Panther, unlike not just past MCU films, but past superhero films at large represented a demographic that was almost wholly ignored: black audiences. The film industry as a whole has this problem, of constantly centering around white, straight male protagonists, almost as if they are the majority when they are definitely not. So finally, there is a superhero film that doesn’t just have a black protagonist but has a majorly black cast. Black children could finally see themselves represented in a major property. But it didn’t just have a black cast, it also had themes that had never been talked about in mainstream films before. Its themes centered around colonialism, the African diaspora, Afrofuturism and the film’s setting was in Wakanda, a country completely untouched from the ravages of colonialism. These various components, I believe, that make up the film contributed to its success. Black Panther proved to me that superhero films don’t have to go the way of the Western. Westerns all focused on white males being the hero, and these films never focused on the racial aspect of the West. They never revolved around or even mentioned the genocide of North America’s indigenous population or the slave trade in the U.S. Westerns never used these parts of history in their films. They had a singular point of view. Superhero films, for so long, did this as well. They always had a singular point of view, specifically a straight, white male point of view. So Black Panther proved that there isn’t just some more gas in the tank. It proved that there is a whole vein that has gone untapped by Hollywood. Wonder Woman supports this as well. It pushed the DCEU to success. It provided countless young girls across the world a role model in blockbuster films. It provided a new, and much-needed, perspective and representation in superhero films. And the recently released Captain Marvel has been a massive success for Marvel at the box-office. 
People of color and the LGBTQIA+ community have gone criminally underrepresented and frankly ignored in this film genre. So if film execs realize that various groups have gone unrepresented in the superhero film genre, and they’ve been wishing for so long to have such representation, and if they realize that this is a whole market that has not been used because of their misogynistic, racist, homophobic and transphobic dumbasses, superhero films can keep going for several more years. Such groups being represented can not only give audiences the chance to see themselves on screen, but it also brings in countless new stories that haven’t been seen before. Black Panther did this. So just imagine the new storytelling possibilities for a woman of color to be on-screen dealing with racism and sexism that so many go through in this country. Or a trans character having to constantly deal with someone misgendering them time after time. The list goes on. New representation brings new stories, and this will keep superhero franchises consistently fresh when they could have gone quickly stale. To reiterate, superhero films don’t have to go “the way of the Western”. They can last, they can THRIVE, in the decades to come. 
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It's Fine...
Call this another follow-up to my retrospective post on December 4th. Today, on February 8th, it's been exactly 66 days (thanks Google) since that post. A post where I was unusually open in how I've been feeling with how 2018 has been, and how my life's been going for however long. I confronted a lot of issues I still have with myself, issues that would constantly bounce around in my head but would never be verbalized or written down. It felt, in a way, cathartic in putting these feelings into words, to see them staring back at me. And I thought, strangely, that it was a sign of things getting better. I say strangely because I'm not an optimistic person. I don't know if I'd say I'm cynical, but there are days, weeks, where I definitely was. But still, it was strange feeling that, albeit cautious, optimism. I know what I want to do with my life. I want to get on that career track. And I've tried. I've really tried. But it's not working.
I've applied for internships that will help me learn and grow for that career. But I've been rejected for those internships. I know what I want to be, but I don't know if I'm good at it, if I have any skill, talent, or any original perspective for that career. So I now have a new problem. Every internship I've applied for, I've been rejected. My biggest fear is worrying if I'm making the same mistake over and over when turning in a new application. I don't know why I get rejected. So I'm scared that I'm repeating what I did wrong before in my past applications, and that I'll never know what I did wrong and I'll be stuck.
I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why I'm posting on a tumblr profile that nobody reads. The whole point behind this stupid blog was to hopefully get advice or constructive criticism on where to improve with my writing. But I've had this for, what, over a year, and I've gained nothing from it. What do I hope to gain from writing this down? From whining incessantly about problems that aren't really problems? There's no point in typing this. I need a break. I’ll come back... whenever.
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A Path
“…while throughout the season the concept of any romantic interest between the both of them was frequently teased yet only to be almost forgotten. I suck at introductions. Not all the time, but here I had such a hard time that I decided, “hey, wouldn’t it be smart and/or unique to start this post at the middle?” No, it isn’t. It’s fucking lazy. That’s what I am: the epitome of, lazy? Laziness? I’m already getting off track. Above was one of the thoughts I had after finishing series x on network x that finished x/x/xx. Signing up for Tumblr was something I thought would help me, or push me, to actually start writing these sorts of shit instead of either rambling on television to my friends or keeping these thoughts to myself only to inevitably forget those thoughts that I should have written down in the first place. So in the foreseeable future, if I actually don’t end up quitting and be forever thinking, “I have great opinions! I wished that I wrote them down somehow, like on a blog! If only.” and then continue watching X-Files. Now having all that stuff out of the way, I genuinely hope these posts help better form my incessant, veering-off-track thoughts on television into something more coherent, and maybe, just maybe, unique. This post will mark my future of rambling stuff I like and don’t like into the void!”
However long ago, that above was my first post since creating my profile. And what have I done since putting up that rambling mess I called an introduction? Well…nothing, really. I’m not talking about what I’ve done on this site (where I’ve done 9 posts, half of them being reposts of the other half). No, I’m talking about in my life. 
Earlier this year (January specifically), I finally knew, or acknowledged that I knew, what to do with my life. What I wanted to do, to have as a career, was to be a critic of tv. And while that was both calming and a little bit scary, what I needed to do next was to starting getting on that path. How do I start, where do I start? I…was drawing blanks. Since graduating high school, I’ve spent almost 4 years now at a university that I think I attended because 1) it was a university that was going to help me financially, I guess. This university, which I’ll try to refrain from explicitly naming, was a Christian one, where after a bit I learned I was completely wrong for. Ignoring the fact that my own political beliefs and interests differs from 99% of the students there, there were no classes that studied film in any stretch of the imagination. Well, the only one that technically did was it examined film portrayals of Jesus Christ. I’ve wasted time thinking about my own isolation and lack of social skills (like striking up conversation with strangers, which I’d promptly start to internally panic) when I could have, should have, confronted what I wanted to do with my life, something that I avoided due to my own feelings of self-doubt. 
So now I’ve been taking online courses from that same university (I stopped going to on-campus classes due to my germaphobia, loneliness, which is something I won’t go into too much). But yeah, back to what I was talking about in the beginning. “How do I break into this career field?” “Where do I start, and did I maybe put myself in this position, of not knowing where to go first?” Knowing what to do is great, but what’s next is getting on that path, something I’ve found hard to do. I’m probably stupid, that I can’t see what to do next, that I think that there is a uniform stepping stone to getting where I need to go when, in the real world, everyone reaches that point in their own way. And I’m probably thinking from a place of entitlement, that “I’ve dealt with germaphobia, panic attacks, self-hatred, depression, brief thoughts of slitting my fucking wrists, so I deserve the easy way to reaching my goal!”. Christ, I’m losing the thread here. But, no, I don’t deserve anything. I’m not owed anything. The thing that’s impeding me from doing what I want to do, is me. I’m stopping myself from fully recognizing, not just thinking about it for a second, maybe an hour, but really recognizing, that I need to read, learn, research, work for what I want. It’s December, the end of 2018, so maybe writing this down, and confronting all my thoughts and actions, I’ll be able to move towards a destination. I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this, I don’t know if I’ll even succeed, but it’s something. It’s a step in the right direction, hopefully.
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so far
It’s been 11 days since the start of 2019. And undoubtedly many people made resolutions for the new year, “Be a better person”, “Try to lose x-amount of weight”, “Recycle more”, resolutions that will be worked on for maybe 2, 3 weeks max, then something comes up, they tell themselves they’ll work on it later, only to never follow up on these resolutions. Then new year comes again, they make the same resolutions, rinse and repeat. So, what are, say, my resolutions for the new year? I wrote in a previous post about how 2018 was for me, and what I ultimately hope to accomplish in the future. Now it’s 2019. Do I have any relatively solid plan to reach these goals? Sort of. I started taking a class in a community college that relates to what I want to do, I’ve written a list of potential essays on various films and film-related issues, and I’ve compiled a list of internships with various publications to look out for when they start accepting applications. And I’m in a better headspace, less self-loathing, more actually doing something than wallowing around in self-hatred. It’s altogether better than where I was before, which would be a month ago. So this post is basically a follow-up/update on my previous one. 
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Disney’s ownership of Fox, and its signaling of a radically different film landscape
On December 14th of last year, it was officially announced that the Walt Disney Company had acquisitioned 21st Century Fox’s film and television studios for $52.4 billion. This news broke after months of speculation and rumor about the possible acquiring. When it was nearly official, the response was positive from many fans of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) for the possibility that Fox, which owned the rights to popular characters such as Wolverine, Deadpool, and more, would now be able to see these characters crossover with other staples of the MCU (Iron Man, Captain America, etc.). While fans of these characters and franchises are ecstatic about Disney now being able to do as they please with these characters, others both in and outside the industry expressed dissatisfaction and worry for the future of not just tentpole franchises like Alien, Predator, and others, but the likely end of chances taken on unknown creators and projects that would be seen by other studios as risky or bankable. This acquisition of 21st Century Fox shows a future in the film industry where blockbusters will be made for their reliability, based on weighty names in front of and behind the camera, as well as a premise that would not be alienating to their target demographic. This is already a trend seen in the last few years. If the film stars or revolves around a character that is incredibly popular and liked by a large audience, plus the film can be seen by audiences of all ages (PG-PG-13), it has a much better chance that being greenlit than ones that don’t. And one possibility that is cause for alarm is the fact that Disney is interested in making blockbusters that appeal to a wide demographic and is likely to succeed at the box office, not the output that Fox Searchlight and 21st Century Fox has released in the last year.
The Shape of Water, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, The Post, and such films released by Fox Searchlight, while acclaimed, nominated for, and won, several awards, isn’t likely in Disney’s wheelhouse. While these films either did well or fine at the box office, projects like these will likely not be in Disney’s interest. The MCU, the Star Wars franchise, as well as their recent live-action remakes of their animated classics, these are names and properties that will assuredly make a great return to the expectations of Disney execs. Fox has made big-budget films that have either been seen as risky to do or were disasters upon release. Once Disney acquires their tv and film studios, such films, which are now seen as “chances” in this Hollywood landscape, will not see the light of day. Yes, films like Logan and Deadpool 1 & 2 were immense successes, but they were both seen as gambles. The first Deadpool film was given a much lower budget in comparison with its comic-book film counterparts. Only upon it becoming a smash-success did it get a larger budget for its sequel. And if these films were instead proposed under Disney’s ownership of Fox, they would have been dismissed without a second thought, or at the very least, revisioned to such an extent they would no longer resemble the original vision.
Major film studios are increasingly being pressured into not taking chances anymore. Films released by Paramount Pictures has done rather terribly with the average moviegoer regardless of its good-to-great quality. Martin Scorsese’s historical drama Silence was a box-office failure, despite its favorable response by critics. And Alex Garland’s film adaptation Annihilation too was acclaimed but was box-office disappointment when released in theaters. Both of these films were high-budgeted, had a well-known and bankable cast, and came from respected filmmakers. Paramount Pictures’ selling the rights of Annihilation to Netflix for international distribution speaks volumes of the company’s doubt in the film’s success. This is disappointing for the film, yes, worse it shows that the theatrical landscape has changed significantly from what it was say 10 years ago.
Disney’s distribution of films that is largely suitable for audiences of all-ages and interests is causing other major studios, like Paramount Pictures, to reconsider the films they’re willing to spend their time and money on. And once Disney’s acquisition fully takes effect, there will be a landscape of specially manufactured films that will resemble each other to such a startling effect. Films will be made on audience’s familiarity with the property, its compatibility for various age groups, and whether the property itself is popular enough to be made. This isn’t occurring in the next 10-20 years. This future is already here.
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My Thoughts on Lady Dynamite and its cancellation
A few days ago, let’s say Monday, I decided to check any updates or tweets on Twitter just to update myself on anything new in regards to TV. It was there, I learned, that #Lady Dynamite, a series created by Pam Brady and Mitch Hurwitz centered around the talented Maria Bamford, was cancelled by Netflix after two seasons. My immediate reaction was sadness that this wonderful show would no longer be continued, and disappointment that Netflix opted to make this decision. Last year when Netflix released the second season of the series, it’s advertisement, plus the positive things I’ve heard in regards to the show, pushed me to finally check out the series. After watching the pilot, I was more interested how the pilot analyzed and showed the development of a pilot and how to make it distinctive within the pilot itself. So, I decided to keep watching, a decision I’m glad a made. While I’m still saddened that this show would no longer produce more episodes, the more I write and think about this now, the more I start to realize if they could have gone anywhere else and if this was for the best. The first season showed three distinct timelines: 1. when Maria was manic and not on any medication while being financially successful, at the cost of “selling out”, 2. when Maria, after a breakdown whilst being in Hollywood, is being treated at a psychiatric hospital back in her hometown, and 3. the present, where Maria moves back to Hollywood to move on with her life while handling her mental illness. And for the second season, the series continued to use three separate timelines to tell its story, but here the timelines are: 1. when she was growing up in Duluth, 2. the present, and 3. the future. The point I’m haphazardly trying to make here is in terms of time periods and how the reflect the development of Maria, both seasons, to me, gave a rather rounded view of how and why she is who she is. But who knows? Maybe they would have found an interesting avenue to tell and chart her growth, or would show her in a new and interesting stage in her life. All I can do now is speculate, putting together what ifs when thinking if Netflix didn’t cancel the series. All I know is I’ll miss seeing the creativity ingenuity of the series, Maria Bamford’s fantastic performance, and her two adorable pugs. I remember when an episode would end with the lyrics “I don’t know what I’m doing more than half of the time”. The series may have felt that way, but from where I was sitting, they constantly knocked it out of the park, so, in a way, they did, thank god. 
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This doesn’t need a title. Okay, maybe it does. Dammit, why can’t I come up with a fucking ti
...while throughout the season the concept of any romantic interest between the both of them was frequently teased yet only to be almost forgotten. I suck at introductions. Not all the time, but here I had such a hard time that I decided, “hey, wouldn’t it be smart and/or unique to start this post at the middle?” No, it isn’t. It’s fucking lazy. That’s what I am: the epitome of, lazy? Laziness? I’m already getting off track. Above was one of the thoughts I had after finishing series x on network x that finished x/x/xx. Signing up for Tumblr was something I thought would help me, or push me, to actually start writing these sorts of shit instead of either rambling on television to my friends or keeping these thoughts to myself only to inevitably forget those thoughts that I should have written down in the first place. So in the foreseeable future, if I actually don’t end up quitting and be forever thinking, “I have great opinions! I wished that I wrote them down somehow, like on a blog! If only.” and then continue watching X-Files. Now having all that stuff out of the way, I genuinely hope these posts help better form my incessant, veering-off-track thoughts on television into something more coherent, and maybe, just maybe, unique. This post will mark my future of rambling stuff I like and don’t like into the void!
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