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dannydoesnotexist · 1 year ago

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Once again, THANK YOU OP, LIKE- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

I for the first FOURTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE (my mom) I emotionally abused and manipulated and gaslit, as well as threatened to be sent to a mental hospital (after being told that they were horrible and then later being gaslit into thinking that never happened and that they're fine) for expressing my want to go and seek help, I also had a horrible one-sided codependent relationship with my mother where I couldn't spend a whole *night* [sleep over] without her and without thinking I betrayed her somehow, she was controlling and I was *terrified* to ask anything of her because I didn't want her to yell at me and make me feel like I did something wrong by just asking a question.

I constantly felt the need to lie to her and I just *couldn't* be honest with her because I didn't want to risk pissing her off (later in life I would learn to track whatever mood she was in), I was constantly fucking stressed, high-strung, I had horrible anxiety and my grades were just dropping lower as time went on, I had so much missing homework and shit like that just because I was either too tired or just too burnt out by being the 'gifted kid' in my early life.

I was yelled at and laughed at for crying, told to be quiet when I laughed, and I got punished when i was angry, I was so stressed when I had to watch my sister at nine years old that I would *break down in tears* when she left us at the babysitter's because they didn't watch my sister and I had too and my sister was constantly crying because she was a toddler and wanted her mom. I cried on the way to the babysitter's because I didn't want her to leave since it took the whole day for her to get back. And so I grew up being taught that crying was weak and that showing pretty much any emotion was wrong and so my go-to emotion was anger.

Yelling was the only way I wouldn't be talked over and also the fact that I was constantly at my fucking limit (since I wasn't even in the double digits and I was worrying about paying bills and helping to make money) I was constantly in a bad mood and my mom would just be fucking condescending as shit which made me even more pissy, and as I got older and the abuse just went on the anger just burnt out and I was just fucking *tired* and *scared* of her I had anxiety attacks because of her and when that happened I would wake up and go to school early before she woke up because the next two days I *still* felt the panic in my chest. And then it got to the point where I was just tired of her shit, I ignored her when she tried to start fights with me and just began to isolate myself from her.

But I *understand* she has shit wrong with her (mentally, I fucking know she has trauma and mental issues because I fucking grew up having to deal with them first-hand) and I still care about her (I don't think I could ever stop) but that doesn't make the shit she did to me okay, and the fact that for years I must've deserved it I must've done something wrong because why would my mom, the person who's supposed to love me unconditionally, hurt me for no reason? It's fucking bullshit that people actually blame the victim JUST BECAUSE of their personality, like- you fucking idiots, people's personalities can be changed BECAUSE OF TRAUMA, I wasn't always the fucking blunt, sarcastic 'asshole' that I am today, but after years of being fucking chastised and made fun of for doing things I enjoy and expressing my emotions of course I'm going to be fucking weirded out when people can express emotions I'm a healthy way, or when I'm in a healthy environment or have to comfort some, BECAUSE I NEVER *GOT* THAT, SO HOW THE FUCK WOULD I BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND IT? it doesn't fucking matter how old I was. If you never grew up using the internet, how the fuck would you know what to do once you do use it, especially with nobody around to help you or if you're just to embarrassed to ask for help, that's how it fucking feels.

It's not my fault I was never taught how to show emotions in a healthy way, nor have I ever been apologized to for people hurting me, but it IS my fault if I hurt someone else, which I thankfully have a lot of self control and normally end up only hurting myself but not everyone is like that, for some people anger can be used as a weapon or a shield so that they can't be hurt at all or again by someone.

But pretty much what I'm trying to get at is that I relate to this man so fucking much that it's probably concerning, I *understand* what fucking *years* of stress and worry can do to someone and their mental health, especially with the fact that he also probably grew up being told showing emotion was weak, *and* he also has to provide for another person (mentioned in canon how he makes sure that the consequences of Ed's actions don't bite him in the ass) of course not as stressful as taking care of a child while you yourself are also one, but it's still fucking stressful. And that same person you're taking care of doesn't listen to you and you do everything in your power to make them listen without wanting to physically hurt them and they just DON'T LISTEN, of course you're gonna be fucking pissed especially if the person is YOUR BOSS, not your sibling, cousin, child, friend (even if they may have been friends in the past it seems to be more of a workplace friendship now that they're older), or lover, but YOUR *BOSS* who you *love* who is ignoring you; who has known him for at least a *decade*, over someone who he's known for less than a week, yeah you're gonna be fucking pissed off and jealous.

And also with the fact that the crew doesn't seem to have any experience working on a ship, something you have been doing for most of your life, along with the fact that *your* crew died to save these people your captain said that you would kill (at least their own captain), yeah you won't give a shit about them so it'll be easier to do the job and also just the fact that they suck at their jobs and so you don't like them by principle, but you also don't wanna fucking die and *nothing* is going the way you want and it feels like the world is ending because you seem to be the only person who actually wants to do your job, yeah all that pent up anger is gonna explode in everyone's face.

And so yeah, he stabs the guy his boss told him they were gonna kill, WHICH WAS THE ONLY REASON HE STAYED ON THE SHIP, and then he's kicked off the ship, and yes, the show isn't historically accurate and these guys try to be kinda like the present where abuse isn't good but *Izzy* is still in the unhealthy, toxic-masculinity pirate mindset and so, what happens when your boss whom you have worked for for years, lets people you cared about (crew) die to save some random 'pirates' who are shit at their job and whose captain *chose* piracy instead of not having a choice, the same people who don't respect your authority that you have worked hard to achieve, then your boss doesn't listen to you when you try to talk to him about the shit conditions of the ship, then your coworkers seem to 'turn' on you because they choose to stop doing their jobs, then your boss doesn't let you kill the man he said you two would kill and then lets you get kicked off the ship? You get desperate, especially because of the codependent relationship you have with your boss where you are *nothing* without him, and so you try to get him back to his job by showing him that this 'whim' has gotten out of hand, but *then* he decides to once again choose a man he has only known for at at least a few months over *you* someone who has been by his side for his worst and best days, someone who knows him better than himself, someone who is so used to being depended (just like you depending on him) on by him that you don't know what to do when he suddenly pulls away.

So yeah he's an asshole and I love him because of it, but he's also a victim and you people need to pull your heads out of your asses and stop villainizing him. And no, I'm not saying Ed is a mOnStEr, I'm saying that they both have had fucked up lives and because of that fucked up mental states, but what I am saying is that Izzy has NEVER laid a (harmful) hand on Edward (not that canon has implied anyways), while Edward has mutilated him, forced him to fucking cannibalize himself, shot him in the knee, causing it to be cut off, tried to do a double suicide (implied by the gun having two bullets) with him by making him kill both of them, led him to trying to kill himself, then gave him a half-assed apology ("sorry about the leg"), I don't know man but that sounds pretty fuck up to me.

Yes, Izzy yelled at him (people say shit when they're mad that they probably wouldn't if they weren't, in s1 Ed was *literally* the only one Izzy apologized to, which shows that he at least cares about what he says to Edward and at least cares somewhat about the affect it has on him) and sold Stede out to the English and got easily pissed off at the crew but how the FUCK does that lead to him deserving to be LITERALLY *TORTURED*

Sorry if this rant is just me repeating myself, or is just all over the place, or just sounds biased I just have a lot of pent up anger about this 😭😭😭🖐🏻

cannot believe that 'yelling at your boss when he repeatedly almost gets you and your crew killed and lies to manipulate you into staying when you try to leave, is not emotional abuse, actually' and 'there is such a thing as a mutually toxic and unhealthy relationship where both parties are incredibly shitty to each other - and this is obviously where Ed and Izzy stand until S2, when it becomes blatantly abusive' is a controversial take. But as this is Abuse Apologism And Ableism, The FandomTM, I really should not be surprised

Just.

I was deep in physically and mentally abusive relationships in my teens/twenties - including relationships that started out with mutual toxicity and bad decisions on all sides, but which became outright physical & mental & other sorts of abuse with myself as the victim. I know my shit.

I suppose I can see where 'Izzy emotionally abused Ed' comes from IF people give literally the most uncharitable interpretation to Every Single Scene, and assume Izzy shouts angrily at Ed and negs him all the time rather than this being how he acts when he's incredibly stressed by circumstance caused directly by Ed and at the end of his fucking rope? Which, as we see in S2... Is not the case.

It's not freaking emotional abuse when you're shouting at your boss who keeps almost getting you and your crew killed. Even if this is NOT a kind or productive way to help Ed deal with his mental health, considering that Ed's actions have consequences that he repeatedly and blithely ignores, it's pretty fucking justified!

It's not freaking emotional abuse if your boss OPENLY LOVES MAIMING PEOPLE AND IS MORE THAN HAPPY TO BURN THEM ALIVE and you encourage that, while upholding his right to not kill with his own hands. Even if he has private breakdowns after the fact because he suffers from black-and-white thinking, dissociates himself from any wrongdoing, and is afraid of his potential to become 'a monster'.

Are these choices helpful? No. Are they kind? No. Is Izzy demonstrating Model Citizen Behaviour? Definitely not.

But it's sure as hell not emotional abuse. And it doesn't justify the physical and emotional abuse Ed puts Izzy through in S2.

Nothing you say can 'make' him hit you. If he chooses to hit you (or... choke you out then repeatedly mutilate you and pressure you to commit suicide and makes you constantly live in fear for your life and the lives of people you care about) he makes that decision himself. Yes, even if you shouted at him first. Yes, even if you were arguing. Yes, even if you were in the wrong in that argument. Yes, even if he has a Tragic BackstoryTM and mental health issues. This shit shouldn't be controversial.

Signed: one of those actual abuse survivors.

#prev tags:#izzy hands #israel hands #the izcourse #ofmd izzy #our flag means death #ofmd #to be clear: I think Izzy was an absolute shitbag in S1!#but. as someone who WAS emotionally AND physically abused just. Idk. The amount of straws people are grasping at #that's... not what emotional abuse looks like. holy shit.#if they were trying to depict that then they frankly did a really bad job lol #I think he was jealous and also worried for himself and HIS crew (who weren't the Revenge crew at that point in time)#I think he egged Ed on. But as we see REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW #ED DOES ENJOY VIOLENCE #HE LOVES A GOOD MAIM #HE BURNS PEOPLE ALIVE #THEN DISSOCIATES - that's what makes his character so fascinating and relatable to me! but he absolutely kills people #he just can't handle the reality of that or what it says about him #Izzy didn't 'make' him do jack shit. S1 is heavily dedicated to showing just how much Izzy never can get Ed to do what he wants #'Ed was afraid of him'?? wtf where do you even GET that from #if anything Ed is afraid of HIMSELF in that final scene. And he has good reason to be!#That self-loathing and fear of the self is INTEGRAL to him! See: when he's ACTUALLY scared of the fucking kraken #Anyway stop making both Ed and Izzy fundamentally boring by making one wholly good and one wholly bad lol #Izzy did bad shit. He got a good redemption arc and died. a lot of his fans are tired of that arc.#Ed did bad shit. He didn't get a good redemption arc and a lot of his fans are pissed about it.

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