#holy shit i hate this bee

[asteriasfallingstarsandtears]

*whispers* I'm free

[kuromi-hoemie]

last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..

[dannyricsmirrorball]

opposite • aa23 ੈ✩‧₊˚

she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy? now I think I get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairings || alex albon x singer!reader, alex albon x lily muni he

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || based on sabrina carpenter's opposite. after an abrupt break up, alex begins to show of his new relationship while reader reflects on their relationship.

alt. he was holding out to find the opposite

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || sad, kind of alex hate but also not idk

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || ok ok first ever alex fic i hope u guys like! also absolutely no lily hate, she’s my fave fr but anything that seems like lily hate is just plot purpose i love her! i also never use blonde face claims but for the purpose of the song narrative i thought it made sense x

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 198,028 others

yourusername 😋

tagged alex_albon

username34 the cutest couple evaaaaa

williamsracing our favourites💙

⤷ yourusername love you admin

username72 mum&dqd frfr

carmenmmundt linda 🩵

alex_albon candid 😍

⤷ yourusername fuck off

georgerussell63 resorting to shirtless pics. shameless albono 😦

⤷ alex_albon taking a page out of your book georgie

⤷ yourusername im not complaining 🙃

liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, and 109,992 others

yourusername recent flicks

tagged alex_albon

username71 y/n in the studio!!!

⤷ username18 are we finally getting new music?!

francisca.cgomes 😍😍😍

username2 alex on the vespa w his helmet 😫

landonorris ugly shoe twins

⤷ yourusername ugly papaya twins @oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri wtf-

rachelzegler u finally got ur ass back in the studio 🌟

carmenmmundt eres hermosa 🩷

⤷ yourusername 😘😘😘

alex_albon my beautiful girl

⤷ yourusername gag

⤷ alex_albon ig ill just fuck off then

⤷ yourusername also so you are on ur phone…

⤷ alex_albon my phone is on dnd baby 😩

liked by charles_leclerc, albon_pets, and 309,028 others

alex_albon lately with my lady 😋

tagged yourusername

username17 albon winning everyday

francisca.cgomes run away with me @yourusername

⤷ yourusername im coming baby

⤷ username10 fork found in kitchen

danielricciardo albon.jpg when?

username4 she’s so cutieful

username12 height difference 😫

username6 backwards cap alex u do things to me

liked by yourusername

yourusername this is really sweet ☹️

⤷ alex_albon gag

f1 the dynamic duo of our dreams 🏎️🎤

liked by username8, username91, and 24,098 others

f1updates happy 6 year anniversary to our fave couple!

tagged alex_albon, yourusername

username1 holy shit SIX YEARS?!

username23 all the people who said she’s only with him for money and fame finding out she’s been with him since b4 f1 and they’ve known eachother since high school

⤷ username4 he dropped out so…?

⤷ username23 sorry i should’ve clarified i meant like teenagers bc it was when y/n was in high school, they met bc her brother did karting with alex

username46 alex and his peace sign are unstoppable

username3 their height difference has moved me

⤷ username8 tall bf and his 3x🍎 tall gf

username61 betting on a 💍 this year

⤷ username43 same they’re sooo endgame

username12 if they break up love is dead

liked by georgerussell63, patrickh_coach, and 450,982 others

alex_albon happy anniversary bunny 🐰❤️

tagged yourusername

comments have been limited by creator

yourusername love u loser

yourusername my honey bear 🥰

⤷ alex_albon your duality

liked by francisca.cgomes, susiewolff, and 309,092 others

yourusername happy anniversary to my favourite person, six years around the sun with the love of my life. to the person who makes me laugh and smile,, i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse. to forever with you ❤️

tagged alex_albon

username81 oh god i’ve never felt more single

carmenmmundt my faves ❤️

username9 parentssss

francisca.cgomes happy anniversary to the most talented brilliant amazing wonderful person i know and her chauffeur 💝

georgerussell63 how’ve you dealt with him for that long? 😳

⤷ yourusername he’s been your boyfriend much longer x

username8 i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse GOD WHEN IS IT MY TURN

⤷ username71 oh to be y/n y/l/n’s muse

username44 SIX YEARS?! i remember her first tour when she adjusted all the dates to follow the f2 calendar 🥹

username02 wish my camera roll looked like that

⤷ williamsracing ours lowkey does 😅

albon_pets happy anniversary y/n🐰 and alex 🐼! let’s get nandos to celebrate ❣️

natalie_pinkham question finally popped?! 😍

⤷ yourusername not yet! hahaha

⤷ username19 six years and no ring…

username92 come on albono put a ring on it

username7 don’t know how albon pulled it off but he better lock it down soon

username5 bro propose already

username42 i feel bad for y/n

⤷ username16 she should cut her losses

username16 how has he not gotten down on one kneee yet jesus

username63 STILL NOT RING?

2 weeks later

liked by carmenmmundt, luisinhaoliveira99, and 320,828 others

yourusername know it’s for the better 🫤

username71 waiting room lyrics? i fear parents have divorced

username23 do we think they broke up?

⤷ username63 don’t even joke lad

username11 have they broken up?

username17 they haven’t posted or been seen together and they unfollowed… i think it’s over

phoebebridgers 🩶

luisinhaoliveira99 pretty girl ❤️‍🔥

username45 she’s in the studio so on the up side new music?

⤷ username12 remember when she said no more break up songs bc shes over the past and has nothing to be sad about in her relationship welp

francisca.cgomes banger song…

⤷ yourusername tiktok fix you mashup is even better 🙃

username27 NOOO THIS IS NOT FOR THE BETTER

username3 all i can think of is y/n commenting about the coldplay remix bc like “tears stream down your face when you lose something you can not replace”

⤷ username81 gonna end it all

liked by williamsracing, landonorris, and 309,727 others

alex_albon abu dhump ✌️out team ✌️we UP

tagged williamsracing

landonorris she broke

⤷ alex_albon 🤣

⤷ username1 wtf.

⤷ username17 this is not the same man that said y/n was the light of his life and sometimes the only good thing about it

username17 all men are the same.

username13 i reckon he’s salty y/n wouldn’t wait for him to be ready

username6 u were meant to be different ALEX

username52 could commit to a six year relationship but not marrying her… yeah ok

username17 yeah YOUR up

georgerussell63 congrats on the season mate must’ve had a great support system 🙂

⤷ username10 man is livid

⤷ username67 he’s basically lost one of his closest friends bc his best friend strung her along for over half a decade

⤷ username2 hmm i agree obviously it seems alex was the reason they broke up but acting like he didn’t love y/n is kinda crazy

liked by landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, and 450,029 others

alex_albon tis the sea-sun 🎅

landonorris all those bags for one?

⤷ alex_albon don’t pack light 😉

⤷ username82 there’s no fucking way

username81 guys it’s probably just a friend lol

username15 weird but ok

username17 they broke up let him move on 🙄

⤷ username27 two weeks ago…

username09 rip

username8 no way he’s already moved on

username27 guys this could just be a friendly trip like there are other people there as well

username61 y/n’s gone MIA and alex is out posting his thai land holiday

⤷ username7 people process things in different ways

liked by emmaraducanu, alex_albon, and 120,982 others

lilymhe 📍🇹🇭

username81 this is the girl in alex’s post?

username11 pretty!

username23 liked by alex albon…

username09 slaying the off season 😍

username7 who is this girl?

⤷ username4 she’s an american pro golfer in the lpga

carmenmmundt 😍

⤷ username71 rip parents are divorced and i think alex got gr and carmen

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 309,091 others

alex_albon new year new goals

username45 new year new gf lol

username6 albon tryna soft launch?

landonorris simp

username11 i wonder how y/n feels…

⤷ username3 this has to be a blow to the heart

⤷ username17 hope she has him blocked

williamsracing ready for the new szn albono 💙

username11 lily wearing his helmet ☹️

⤷ username4 same one y/n used to use…

⤷ username88 how do u know it’s her

⤷ username13 just guessing

username18 fucking hell

username61 and they told me people grieve in different ways…

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, and 408,928 others

yourusername happy new year 🌟 been locked in the studio 🤍

username72 girl tryna play it cool but the tolerate it lyrics giving her away fr

username25 SIX YEARS

username42 she’s been locked in the studio while alex is out soft launching his new relationship lol

⤷ username7 new album about to hit

francisca.cgomes dress 😍

username61 “some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world”…

username7 some people making it sound like alex never lived y/n

⤷ username63 no i think it’s that he seemed to love we so much but his actions compared to y/n are very odd

carmenmmundt feliz año nuevo 🩷

⤷ username71 phew they’re still friends

username71 y/n out of hiding!!! 🥹

username6 rep era 🖤

⤷ username23 more like ttpd 😳

albon_pets happy new year y/n 🐰🥳

⤷ username18 she’s still their bunny 😖

liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, and 183,093 others

lilymhe ❣️

emmaraducanu wag duties ✌️

⤷ lilymhe 😂🥰

username17 yeah this really hit,, lowkey missing y/n

username7 she’s in bahrain?! welp

username55 awww she’s wearing his merch 🥹

⤷ username6 so cute she’s wearing the merch his ex gf helped design xx

username12 ok i love y/n but lily is soooo pretty

username63 new wag!

carmenmmundt love

williamsracing 💙

liked by username23, username16, and 23,099 others

f1updates new f1 couple confirmed! pro golfer and rumoured girlfriend of alex albon spotted in the paddock for the first time seemingly confirming the couples status. there is a lot of discourse among fans regarding how quick the williams driver has moved on from his last relationship with singer y/n y/l/n, the pair were together for six years after abruptly splitting following their six year anniversary.

tagged alex_albon, lilymhe

username63 i mean they’re cute but i miss y/n

username17 so cute 😍 much better suited to eachother

⤷ username82 i love that they’re both athletes so they understand each other more

username99 she matches alex’s energy 😍

username44 he looks so happy 🥹

username13 cute couple

username1 they will last i think

liked by lilymhe, williamsracing, and 299,928 others

alex_albon bahrain tested: car ✅ food ✅ greens ✅

tagged lilymhe

username71 HARD LAUNCH

lilymhe need to work on that swing

⤷ alex_albon yeah you should

⤷ lilymhe oh!

lilymhe pretty sweet caddy 🥰

williamsracing things we like to see 💪

username2 awww they’re so cute

username14 couple goals

username23 parents ❤️

username2 they’re perfect together

landonorris 🔥

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, and 309,727 others

yourusername if i don’t laugh ill cry xx

francisca.cgomes sabes q és linda?

⤷ yourusername i love u

username1 prettiest

username09 stop she defs saw alex’s post

username23 all men do is lie

carmenmmundt ❤️❤️❤️

logansargeant sunscreen?? 🧴

⤷ yourusername so funny logs

⤷ username2 their friendship 🥰

username7 i feel so bad for her

username16 everyone breaks up she should get over it

username12 six years…

liked by alex_albon, williamsracing, and 239,029 others

lilymhe triple M dump 🇲🇨🇨🇦🇺🇸 with some ⛳️ in between

tagged alex_albon

username71 oh my god she’s the most beautiful girl in the world

alex_albon my beautiful girl

alex_albon wow 🤩

alex_albon prettiest in the universe bunny

⤷ lilymhe 🐰❤️

⤷ username62 THEY HAVE HIT THE PENTAGON

⤷ username3 he’s so?! not the bunny nickname… have some shame albono

username45 rip

username82 she is out of this world 😍

username43 idk if anyone knows what im talking about but i remember this interview a couple of years ago where alex said his celeb crush was this one tv actress, ive forgotten her name but i remember she looked exactly like lily does

⤷ username6 his perfect type 🥰

⤷ username47 remember who he was with then…

⤷ username82 my girl y/n catching strays all the time

liked by oliviarodrigo, iamrebeccad, and 451,928 others

yourusername i scream inside to deal with it like AHHHAEGEGBDBDHEHJEJDNXNJE

tagged oliviarodrigo

username45 girl is going through it

username22 “you’re the only girl i’d ever want” yeah ok liar

liked by yourusername

oliviarodrigo girl-

⤷ yourusername happier, pretty isn’t pretty, & stranger is a lethal lineup. don’t ask why i know… 💜

⤷ username42 wooh deadly combo

⤷ username25 just two ‘teenage’ girls who make the most gut wrenching twisted experiences sound like fairy dust

liked by oliviarodrigo, yourusername

username5 bunny nickname was sacred i can’t believe this 😖

username16 last slide is so real girl 😩

francisca.cgomes validddd

username11 i really don’t think she’s taking all of this very well

⤷ username18 u think?!

liked by lilymhe, patrickh_coach, and 230,838 others

alex_albon happiest with my girl

tagged lilymhe

username23 day b4 y/n’s birthday…

⤷ username45 he knows what he’s doing

username28 he’s never looked happier than with lily 🥰

lilymhe my silly boy

landonorris whippeddd

username67 pinterest couple 💌

username18 i love that they seem like best friends as well

username61 i want what they have ☹️

username77 his girl awwww

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, georgerussell63, and 509,983 others

yourusername opposite out now 🌟🐰

username23 the golf fit and bunny emoji SHES MESSY!

alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🩷

username8 nah not the golf outfit when his current gf is a pro golfer…

username17 “she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy?” after his ig post rlly hits

username13 i wanna hug her 🫂

username62 really her eternal muse….

username37 does she step out the spotlight so u bathe in it? GAGGED HIM

⤷ username2 righttt like especially since when they were together she was always the more famous one and he was the bf

georgerussell63 🤩

⤷ username11 alex may be his best mate but he hast to stan

username16 “i’ll never stop writing songs about you” well she didn’t lie-

username34 them always joking about how alex was a bad texter but now he’s with lily he’s suddenly the fastest replier ☹️

⤷ username9 “oh so u can reply just to not me” 🫤🫤

carmenmmundt so good ❤️

⤷ yourusername ily

francisca.cgomes TRYNA TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT ITS KINDA FEELING LIKE THE OPPOSITE

⤷ yourusername my best friendddd

username8 u were holding out to find the opposite is CRAZY

username92 “you knew i would see that” 👹👹

username6 “face like that other girl your in love with” OH OH OH

username63 “i know now even if i tried to change that somehow you’d end up with her anyway” alex albon when i catch you

username77 “when you said i’m beautiful was i bein lied to?” SHUT UP

⤷ username6 when he’d call her the prettiest in the universe…

username23 just rip my heart out and stomp all over it

2 years later

liked by carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, and 1,340,982 others

yourusername recents flicks x

username17 oh my god that dress is everything

username4 her and drew 🥰

drewstarkey 😍

username8 i really think she’s finally healed and that makes me so happy

alexandrasaintmleux can still hear charles singing sky fall 😭

⤷ yourusername remind me to never give him the mic at karaoke again

⤷ username45 so happy they still keep in touch

⤷ username92 yeah same but i also miss her and carmen&george

⤷ username67 what happened? 🙃

⤷ username92 well nothing specific but they stayed friends after her and alex broke up but i guess it just got kind of complicated and now the only interactions were really see of them is them liking each others posts

francisca.cgomes that dresssss lindaaa 🩷🌟

username62 pretty

username17 awww her and drew look adorable

⤷ username4 idk i still think she’s trying to find someone to recreate what she had with alex and it still hasn’t work but drew is the closest she’s come

⤷ username23 all while he’s still with the girl he got with like two weeks after they broke up

liked by williamsracing, georgerussell63, and 1,098,993 others

alex_albon she said yes! i can’t believe i get to marry my dream girl, as soon as i saw your face i knew i was gonna marry you. forever us, i love you 🐰

tagged lilymhe

username81 WHAT?!

username62 oh my god i would hate to be y/n rn

username12 after 2 years… but strung y/n along for 6 with not even a hint of a ring

⤷ username1 when yk yk i guess

georgerussell63 congrats mate x

carmenmmundt ❤️

username72 y/n y/l/n found screaming crying

⤷ username3 y/n is unbothered,, she has a man and is sooo over alex

lilymhe can’t wait to marry you,, to forever with you ❤️

⤷ username17 “to forever with you” i want to kms that’s exactly what y/n said on her last post w alex

alexandrasaintmleux congrats you guys ☺️

⤷ username4 oh to be in kika alex and y/n’s gc right now

landonorris ggggg

username71 this has to be slap in the face to y/n

albon_pets congrats alex 🐼 and lily 🐰 we love you guys ❤️

⤷ username44 albon pets using the bunny emoji for lily now when it was always for y/n is heartbreaking

username5 yellow cab light theory 🙃

⤷ username77 ??

⤷ username5 i just remember in satc miranda saying men are like cabs: “When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That's the woman they marry.”

⤷ username14 yeah it also about how love isn’t about commitment but rather timing lolllll

⤷ username77 ohhhh so alex’s ‘light’ turned on after breaking up with y/n and it’s not that he’s more committed to lily but rather the timing is better for him than it was w y/n?

⤷ username5 basically 😳

liked by carmenmmundt, oliviarodrigo, and 1,997,928 others

yourusername you were holding out to find the opposite 🙃🐰

username61 they have hit the pentagon (again)

username1 oh my girl i thought we’d moved on

username73 she’s still at the restaurant 💔

username9 posting this while she has a whole ass bf 😭

⤷ username88 she gafff about that man in comparison to alex,, alex hung the stars for her

username23 “how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure?”

username14 “i saw you met somebody and im jealous as hell that i can’t even stomach loving somebody else” farkkkk they still kill me

⤷ username9 it’s been 2 years and she still can’t stomach it 🫤🫤😫

francisca.cgomes ❤️

username18 people using lyrics from emails i can’t send rn is making me want to cry ☹️

alexandrasaintmleux belle 🩷

username42 THE BUNNY NOOO

username16 everyone saying she’s moved on and doesn’t care obviously doesn’t remember how hard the break up hit for her like she was in love with that man

⤷ username45 they were meant to grow old together ☹️

⤷ username33 “i care but i don’t”

username62 he did end up w her anyway….

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

first alex fic!!! definitely not the last but pls let me know what you think xx

[parkerluvsu]

ME ESPRESSO! (art donaldson x fem! reader)

say you can't sleep, baby, i know/that's that me espresso

the vibration of your phone on your bedside table causes you to halt your nightly routine, sitting cross-legged on your cozy hotel bed. art was currently paying for you to live there while you found an apartment closer to him in the city. speaking of art, his contact picture flashed on your phone screen, causing you to smile as you pick up. "i can't sleep" art cuts right to the chase, not beating around the bush. "aw why?" you feign ignorance when you respond, you know exactly why, only about an hour before you'd sent art a selfie in nothing but the hotel-provided robe, a payment of sorts for letting you stay in the lavish hotel. "you know why baby.."

holy shit/is it that sweet? i guess so

you can't stop the giggle that escapes your mouth. "you're sweet art.. i only wanted to show you how comfy the robe was!" you lie through your teeth, when art is needy and missing you is when you like him best. "cmon baby you were practically naked.. you know what you do to me.." he almost whines into the phone, you can hear him shifting through the speaker. "what do i do to you?" you can imagine the look on arts face now, as he shifts uncomfortably in the plush chair in the corner of his room, running his fingers through his cropped blond hair.

im working late, 'cause im a singer/oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger

most of the time when art calls or contacts you it's at night, you both have busy schedules (his being a little more flexible now that he's retired) and since art is in the midst of a messy divorce, it's better for both of you if you don't live together currently. and maybe it's easier for art to save face a little bit and not drool all over you if he can't see you all the time. as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and art is extremely fond of you. obsessed is a strong word, but it does remind you of arts attitude towards you, it's not an exaggeration to say that he would absolutely jump off a bridge for you.

my twisted humor make him laugh to often/my honey bee, come and get this pollen

art chuckles, an attractive sound that echoes through the speaker. "what do you do to me? baby you make me crazy.. you know i would give a whole lot to be with you right now, yeah?" you sigh, imagining what you would do if he was there with you. "yeah i know.. just wish you could teleport over here with me" art wishes the same, but he can't come and see you now, tomorrow he has to take care of his daughter and whenever he comes over you two always end up sleeping in till noon.

too bad your ex don't do it for ya/walked in and dream-came-trued it for ya

you only knew part of the situation with his ex, tashi, you think her name was. art, by nature is a private person, preferring to keep his personal life personal. he only came clean to you about their tumultuous relationship and the subsequent fallout when he felt that he trusted you enough. simply put, when art decided to retire from tennis, he decided to get a divorce from tashi because he knew she would only come to hate him, and maybe he had come to hate her too. when he met you, you're everything tashi wasn't. caring, nurturing, supportive, loving. it only motivated art to move forward with the divorce, even if it meant that the life he used to live was over. but it wasn't all bad for art.. he finally had a girlfriend that would be there for him no matter what (and put up with his clingyness).

soft skin and i perfumed it for ya/i know i mountain dew it for ya

arts sweet voice brings you back to reality. "did you get that gift i got you?" you remember the sweet gesture with a smile on your face, a couple days ago art had gotten you a basket full of self care products. face masks, body wash, moisturizers and lotions, all in your favorite scents. the note card attached said "take care of yourself for me. -thinking of you always, art <3" you swooned at the personalized details. "yes i did art.. thank you.. ive been using the lotion you gave me and i feel so soft.." you truly don't realize how much art is affected by your words. but you can tell he's smiling through the phone "is that right? im glad you like them.. i have to admit that i had to hold back from stealing a couple things, all that stuff reminds me of you and it really does it for me"

that morning coffee, brewed it for ya/one touch and i brand-newed it for ya

"you know you should really go to sleep art, it's late" you say, trying to test him and see if he'll stop talking to you for just that simple reason. "i know, but like i said, i can't sleep, and i didn't even have any coffee today" he reminds you, making you recall his old addiction to caffeine, one that he still has to fight to this day, but it's easier now that he isn't working so much. "you should just stay on the phone then" you suggest slyly, "i mean if i can't go to sleep touching you i at least want to go to sleep talking to you" you add. arts heart melts, no one had ever expressed interest in him like you do.

now hes thinkin' 'bout me, every night, oh/is it that sweet? i guess so

art agrees to your proposal quickly, both of you settling into your beds for the night as you set your phones next to you. "when can i come see you again?" art asks breathlessly, and he really does feel breathless when he isn't around you, searching for the fresh air that only you can provide him. "in two days, okay? it won't feel too long i promise" you reply, knowing he'll be disappointed, but also knowing the two of you still lead seperate lives. "alright, and we'll do something special together okay? ill try to pull some strings and get us a reservation at that restaurant you love" art, always the eager one, is already planning out the day to the minute detail. you sigh dreamily "that sounds perfect art.. you're too good to me" and it's true, he really does spoil you to his hearts content. "no way, you're so sweet im only giving you what you deserve" he replies quickly, blanketing you in flattery like usual. a few more minutes go by of back and forth compliments before you yawn, art taking notice. "you tired? go to sleep princess. ill be here, i mean- not really there but- you know what i mean" art always stutters over his words when he tries to be suave, a cute habit you hope he never quits. you giggle softly "alright alright.." you let your head sink into the fluffy feather pillow beneath you. "i love you art" the words leave your lips more naturally than anything you've ever said. "i love you more" art replies. well, you can't argue with that <3

[oceansprompts]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[tiny-planet-13]

ouhg I'm actually like,,, can't even describe what the new aftg content has done for me like the amount of fucking fandom discourse that has been cleared up from just a few pages is insane actually

esp about Aaron like that whole chapter was SO FUN to read in like a painful way but like argh yes defend your woman please and call out Andrews hypocrisy don't mind me I'm sat in the corner with my popcorn (also just like the 'im not homophobic I just hate nicky' real asf of him) (it's interesting to see all the anti-aaron people switch up so quickly 🤡)

and the fucking bee chapter DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED I am so so so so pleased we get to see Andrew in probably the most human light possible by someone that truly understands him oh my god. like ofc Neil gets him but our beloved little exy freak is also massively unhinged and so any perception he has of anyone is probably always slightly off-kilter and to see Betsy like genuinely caring for Andrew and telling him shes proud (😭😭😭😭) and her checking him every time his sh tendencies are getting too strong AND HE LISTENS TO HER AND FOLLOWS HER ADVICE like actually don't talk to me I'm going to be curled up in a corner crying today holy shit

also Nora cooked so fucking hard with that monster and whip line like shakespeare was probably giggling in his grave as she wrote that down

[deadlysoupy]

if tf one did anything for me, it 1) made me really passionate about optimus and megatron's relationship and made me re-think the entirety of just how tragic the transformers civil war is

and 2) that i adore optimus and bumblebee's relationship even more now

the first one is pretty self-explanatory and i feel like everyone came out of that movie (who is a tf fan i mean) feeling absolutely baddy and insane

but the second one. my favourite iteration is earthspark, so my constant thought is now, compared to "oh my gosh orion and bee are adorable together i can totally see their dynamic" of tf one, is "holy shit tfe optimus and bumblebee are so dysfunctional why are they like this" and i'm just having so many thoughts about them right now

i would make a separate post but i kinda don't want to so here are my general thoughts (not very coherent i just need them out of me)

it feels very disjointed to be honest. it really seems like they wanted to give them a mentor/mentee dynamic but didn't go through with it

optimus keeps sort of kind of worrying about bumblebee without explicitly stating it, they have a lot of awkward moments (especially in early season 1 i noticed), but i can't tell if it's writers not wanting to commit or it's intentional

there are two episodes bothering me. one: episode 23, right in the beginning, when optimus sends bee to find the hidden ghost facility. they have this interesting almost silent communication, optimus only has to say "bumblebee, what's in that room?" and bee immediately knows what to do. the most important bit here, though, is where bee, after optimus warns him about potentially getting caught or killed, says very methodically "i must disavow any knowledge of your actions". and then he drives away, with optimus looking almost solemnly at him

a similar conversation already probably happened, since bee knew what to say to sort of calm optimus down, but at the same time... was optimus worried there? would he have said this had he NOT been worried?

and then there's season 3 (season 2b?). the hate plague. i'm not going to focus much on bee's perspective (that earns another post), but on optimus' instead. he tries to calm bee down, tries to reach him, tries to reason with him, and what gets me here is that he actually cares. remember, this is probably only a few days or so after the whole breakdown fiasco, and bumblebee is obviously still thinking about it. so optimus doesn't get him to track down the cybertronian ship - he's afraid bee might hurt even more. he says "i knew you would be emotionally compromised going into decepticon territory". which only leads me to the same thought: if you untangle all his diplomatic wording, he says he cares. he cares that bumblebee got hurt and that he didn't want him to relive that betrayal again

they are so awful at communicating with each other they can't even tell if they care about one another. which is odd, right? we can tell optimus can tell megatron his feelings, but he can't do that with bee

and i'm just. what happened between them? is optimus emotionally distant from bee or is bumblebee reluctant to include him? why are they like this??? they drive me crazy istg

[sadlilghostt]

BURN A MOTH

Characters : angel dust, alastor, vox, valentino x human reader.

๑ | synopsis : angel came back to the hotel with a beaten bruises on his face, once you saw this your heart dropped at the sight that you started bombarding him question which he refused to answer, but you kept pestering him. Once he finally admitted, oh dear Satan hell have never been more hotter than your rage.

๑ | tw : cursing, bit blood will be mentioned.

๑ | a/n : this is actually an adaption of the small comic I made, click here to see the art!

Master list | master list

Sipping your coffee as you him yourself a tune while reading the book in your hand as the hotels door slammed opened revealing your favorite spider demon.

Upon seeing his figure, your mood brightened seeing him as you dropped your book and skipped to the tall spider.

" Angeeeel! " you beamed, but after seeing his whole form stopped from you from pouncing on him as your felt your heart dropped.

Angel was covered in bruises and a busted lip and a black eye on his right eye.

" holy shit- angel, what happened to you?! " you scurried closer to him trying to reach for his cheeks but failed due to his height and leaning away.

" I'm fine toots, just got into a fight. " he murmured as he held your shoulders refraining you from jumping on him.

" nah nah, don't give me the "just" angge, you're literally a mess! " you huffed as your grabbed his hand and pulled him to the sofa. " sit. "

" toots- 's ok- I'm fi- " you cut him " sit. The. Fuck. Down. " that was enough for him to shut his mouth and flipped himself to the sofa.

He flinched when he felt your fingers into his busted lip, his other arms went to grab your waist while his other set of arm were on your shoulders and his other arm was on your wrists, stopping you from touching his face further.

" what the f- angel! Let me look! " you groaned as you climbed into the sofa in between his legs as you reached out to his face.

" 'm tellin' you! I'm fine! " he groaned as he pushes you away but you kept pushing yourself into him.

" fine?! Bitch- you're literally bleeding! "

" angel... Please? "

Angel groaned more as his grip from your waist and hand lessen finally giving you an access to him. Your hand softly touched his cheek with him flinching in the process, angels head turned away from you, away from your eyes. You could see tears swelling up into his eyes as your eyes scanned his injuries more.

Angel felt terrible, he felt worse, he felt... Dirty, he hated it.

He sighed deeply before turning to you.

"Satisfied? " he asked but stopped once he saw your dark expression.

".... Y/n?.. "

" angel.. I want the names. "

" huh? Why? - "

" names. Please. "

Angel sighed in defeat " fine.. It's my boss, valentino.. Don't know the fuck happened to that dick but that jerk suddenly barged in 'ta my room and started roughin' my shit up. " he groaned, at the story he just told you, everything around you gone blank as your vision started to go red.

"... Uh y/n?.."

Alastor was just in his room, playing soft songs to his radio while he enjoyed his venison when he heard footsteps outside of his door before his door was barged open.

His smile became strained as his brows knitted as he saw the certain spider demon out of breath in his door step.

" ever heard of knocking before or have you just loose your manners entirely. " alastor scowl but his smile still remains.

His antlers becomes larger as symbol starts to appear around him as the statics became loud.

" this better be very important or I'll have your head on my wall for disturbing my dinner like that and barging into my door without my permission. " he growled as his neck snapped side way.

Once angel finally catches his breath he raises his head to face the radio demon.

" i-its.. Pant it's the human! Fuck- hurry and get your ass out of here! "

The sound of the television bugging and short circuiting and crashes filled the bee's tower.

" OW- WHAT THE FUCK- HOW ARE YOU THIS POWEFUL?! " valentino screeched as he tried to fly away but only to be stabbed by a thrown butcher knife on his wings by you. " FUCK! " he cursed as he glanced at his pierced Wing trying to tug the butcher knife off of his wings, he glanced back at his fellow tv demon but his eyes we're blown wide only to see a hanger piercing into his screen. Val stopped from his movements when he saw your shoes.

He slowly tilted his head up to see you glaring at him with another butcher knife on your hand.

Before all of this chaos, the vee's were just peacefully doing their thing when screams and crashes echoes below their floor. When vox came to check it out, he saw his staff beaten up and then a human in the center of the room, walking towards his direction, vox tried to stop you but only to be shoved away by you. Vox didn't like that so the two of you fought for a moment before the moth overload finally came down and aw the two of you in each other's neck, once you saw the sight of him, your attention quickly changed to val. And then this happened, but with vox now laying on the floor with a hanger on his screen.

" I'm gonna fucking tear that shitty ass wings and give that shitty lookin cottond to nifty and make it my door mat and hang your head into my wall. " you grinned as you raised your butcher.

" might as well chop your dick off and feed it to the cannibal~well if you have one. " you giggled as you saw val paled.

Valentio screamed as you swung the butcher towards him only to be you pulled back.

" alright that's enough. " a familiar static voice called behind you.

Alastor held you by the back of your T-shirt as you still tried to advance to Val as he screams.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA "

" as entertaining this is but I cant have my little human wiping out the vee's just like that! Imagine! Getting killed by a mere human! " alastor humored as his eyes landed on a defeated vox.

" oh how pathetic! "

Angel was just behind alastor, his mouth was dropped open as he saw the massacre you made.

"... Holy shit.. "

[michael-the-candybar]

Shit Rosekiller would say

Barty: Evan, I have to tell you something…

Evan: What bats?

Barty: I just need you to promise that you’ll still love me, no matter what I say.

Evan: Barty? What did you do?

Barty: I’ve been a keep something from you, and I hate having secrets between us…

Evan: Bee if you killed your dad just say so.

Barty: I love you.

Evan: K, Bartemius what the fuck did you do.

Barty: I’m spiderman… please don’t hate me…

Evan: …

Evan: Shit… Barty I- fuck I have something to tell you to then…

Evan: I’m the green goblin…

Barty: Holy shit I love you

(https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMrtCkGWx/, inspired by this tiktok)

[vxiphoid]

PIXELATED ZEN

❨ summary ❩ genshin › genshin men playing minecraft with you ((ft. alhaitham, itto, cyno, diluc, kazuha, kaeya, heizou, & xiao))

tags ✧ modern au, drabble, fluff, chaotic energy, not proofread, cursing, ooc(?), established relationship, gn!reader, kaeya sets a forest on fire, alhaitham does not appreciate bees, mentions of pixelated deaths

amanuensis’ message ⊹ IM NOT TRYING TO KILL MY OTHER FANDOMS I SWEAR… im gonna back up from twst for a bit (im literally posting scarabia soon.) you can clearly tell who my favorites are… this unlocked a whole different part of my brain holy shit im deceased

⌜200+ e/chara ⌟

♫ blossom - t. shan

genshin masterlist

ALHAITHAM

╰┈➤ tbh he thinks minecraft is stupid, i mean, why not read a book instead of burning the images of pixels into your eye sockets😒 yeah, he’d just rather books. its a game about blocks, what could possibly be so interesting? he will admit the music is… nice. its nostalgic even though he’s never heard the track before. his favorite animals are the axolotl idk they’re his little pookies. its their little stick arms, they look so silly… as soon as haitham found out that you could color things its over, he make some sweet things like putting a sign on top of your shared house with both initials with colored dye. he’s so happy, just not very vocal about it, but he has the smallest of smiles. he definitely has headphones with the crochet sprout on it omg😭 alhaitham does not like bees whatsoever, they stung him for trying to get food. he just wanted honey :[

“look, the dog’s collar is blue. and the sign’s letters are green and then if you add a glow squid’s ink, it lights up.”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

ARATAKI ITTO

╰┈➤ he has waited YEARS for someone to play minecraft with him omfg. certified snack hoarder for times like these. you both literally hit each other to show love, you’ve accidentally killed him once bc he didn’t tell you that he had like half a heart… itto likes the water, hates the guardians because who do you think you are attacking him out of nowhere??? gets one shotted by the elder guardian while trying to fight it with a stick and then blames it on magma blocks pulling him down. GAMING WITH HIM IS NEVER CALM GODS💀 you cannot lay on him or anything bc as soon as those cave sounds or disc 13 start playing, he’s already done sprung out of his seat. his screams are actually really funny though, you got him a cat from how much he’s been assaulted by creepers. when you introduced him to shaders, he was so in awe. “babe i have a shadow!” type of excitement JAKEJEJDMnda.

“the cat’s name is sir arataki the third, you are now my loyal guard cat. who’s an adorable little guy?”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

CYNO

╰┈➤ look at this nerd (affectionate), ofc he plays cubecraft. loved it so much that when he didn’t have the actual game, he would play the really bad knockoffs💀 plays on console so you can sit between his legs, lean back, and game with him. cyno hate the split screen because he always gets confused on what side he’s on so he lets you use his switch, that way you’re both still comfortable. he’s more of an explorer if you do get mod packs for him, likes the horror ones the most. there’s nothing like hitting the enemy or shit talking the thing that could potentially one shot you with your s/o‼️ yall crouch a lot, its like a little dance. he really likes the disc “far” it itches his brain in the right way. definitely downloads the little raccoon mobs but then regrets it because he gives up all his berries to them, look at their little begging arms, literally how can you say no to that?? AND THEY WASH THE BERRIES. you both fall asleep to the ambience and to each others breathing all cuddled up ‘n warm. cyno absentmindedly sings the music while chopping wood or mining that shit has you SLUMPED. he kisses your head when you fall asleep, smiling like a silly goober.

“do-do-do-do do-do-do-do do, neow neow neow nneow neeeowwww… huh? oh, i’m almost done then we can go to bed, yeah? i’ll charge the switch too, don’t worry. just rest.”

(he’s singing that one part in danny lmfao)

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

DILUC

╰┈➤ diluc does not understand the concept of minecraft but its okay, he’s just happy to be here. he also doesn’t call it minecraft but “cave game”, the original name, he did his research though it is rare that he actually calls it minecraft. found out that you could breed animals and accidentally made a pack of wolves. diluc is really good with redstone its actually insane😭 he’s the type to protect you the whole time while you’re getting flowers for the house, boyfriend bodyguard. diluc doesn’t play much because of his job but when he does, he’s prepared to sit for hours and spend time with you :(. these are the times where he’s most affectionate, randomly kissing your cheek, getting water for the both of you before you play, etc. luc loves the mod pack “industrial”, he can build machines, how neat is that??? also it has way more OMFP with the added features it has yk? he likes the trains :D

“is the water running…? the water’s running, they have moving windmills!”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

╰┈➤ kazuha has the most expensive equipment yet doesn’t use this shit half of the time unless he’s streaming with heizou??? like im talking msi infinite rs pc, multiple monitors, a graphic drawing tablet, headphones with immaculate sound quality AND!!! the ear cups have fucking cyberpunk 3d wing guards on them. but anyways, minecraft, yes, he plays. in fact, kaedehara has about 10 beaten hardcore worlds every time a new update comes out, he must beat the game again. he rarely plays minecraft without his shaders so when you want to play the original og minecraft, he doesn’t mind, he actually enjoys the nostalgia. so much so the music is actually his background music when he’s just lazing around. words cannot express how much he dislikes (hates) wardens omg. he’ll protect you from them but if there were diamonds behind a warden, ig he’s going somewhere else😭 kazuha gives you random shit, weather that be something really sweet or questionable…

“love, do you want my rotten flesh? here<3 oh! and, i also got you some steak, you’re low on hearts…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

KAEYA

╰┈➤ he’s heard of it, watched people play, just never played it. but when he does… he’s a menace. kaeya got his hands on flint and steel and set an entire jungle on fire… but he can be sweet sometimes! you’re the one protecting his ass while he walks around at night UNARMED to gather blue flowers for you. like you’re cute, but take a shield or something😭 he’s jumped off of a tall building before and landed on half a heart for a stack of bread you didn’t want. he’s rather oblivious to the mobs around him, he once thought shulkers were friends because they were just “silly little guys in little boxes” yk until they almost killed him. you bought him his own skin and introduced him to parrots and now its his favorite animal, he looks like a pirate!!! kaeya is chaotically sweet.

“yes, you almost died protecting me but how could you resist my everlasting love plus pixelated blue flowers?”

(has a cat unironically named ice spice LMFAO)

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

╰┈➤ your boyfriend is good at literally anything else BUT minecraft. its the way this game constantly has it out for him too like what did bro do??🙁 heizou stream’s with kazuha every now and again and on those, he still doesn’t know what to do… he’d rather play on the servers, bedwars in particular. extremely good at bw, you’d rather NOT be his enemy😭😭 wins almost every single game even when he carries, rank 98 in the server. yet when it comes to a casual server between you and him, the chats are filled with his deaths and his hashtagged rages💀 heizou despises silverfish which is also why he hates going into strongholds, they could get stomped on for all he cares! >:( he has texture packs with really beautiful skies and then a picnic mod so he can stargaze with you and eats minecraft cake :(<3

“oh. babe, green is heading for our bed, no pressure or anything. i loovveee youuu😚”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

XIAO

╰┈➤ xiao has the MOST downloaded mod packs, shaders, and worlds. not very expensive mod packs most of the time but when they are, they’re always good. spends his time fighting off mobs at night, #1 totem holder. he even has his own custom skin!!! he’s kinda been waiting for you to ask so when you do play mc together, you already have your own room, but when you voluntarily move your bed into his room to sleep… he melts. xiao loves cuddling while the two of you play, he’d rather your arms around him than the other way around, feels more intimate. you have matching hoodies for occasions like this. he has the dragon mod pack and has his own golden and orange dragon named ‘li’. he doesn’t talk while gaming, curses silently when he gets hit, but other than that doesn’t talk. if you want to talk, he’ll listen, he likes hearing about your day :].

“no, keep talking. i’m listening. see, li’s listening too.”

[x0llaz]

Ten Things I Hate About you

Jung Sungchan

Chapter 1) first impressions

WC~300

Masterlist. Next.

It was Sohee’s first day at his new school, he had spent his morning talking to counselors, teachers, and the principal. He was finally assigned a buddy to show him around for the rest of the day. He walked into the hallway and saw a taller boy waiting across the hall.

“Sohee?” The other guy called.

“That’s me,” Sohee said meekly.

“Great,” the taller approached. “I’m seunghan, I’ll be showing you around.

Sohee was used to the routine, get paired with a buddy who felt pressured to sticking with him until he switched schools again. Make in-genuine friendships that could last just until he was on the road.

But as he walked with seunghan, who took time to not only show him around, but made an effort to fill him in on anything he should know, he felt more at ease. It felt like seunghan was having more of a genuine conversation- though it was mostly one sided.

“Ready for the fun part?” Seunghan asked with a smirk.

“What’s that?”

“The cliques,” Seunghan gestured to the courtyard full of diverse groups of friends. “We have your usual preppies, jocks, nerds,” he lazily directed Sohee’s attention across the area. “But we also got theater kids, IB candidates, and plenty of other genres of douchebags,”

“Riveting,” sohee sighed. It was going to be a long year.

“Tell me about it,” seunghan laughed to himself. “There’s a rumor that the band kids suck each other’s dicks at contest,” seunghan cracked a bright smile that made sohee laugh in shock.

“How would you know that?” He asked.

“Word gets around,” The older shrugged. “Anyways, we can go-“

“Holy shit!” Sohee interrupted as his eyes caught on someone’s figure.

She was slim, with long hair, a pretty outfit, and big eyes that made his heart pound. “Who’s she?” Sohee asked breathlessly.

“Her? That’s Yuna,” Seunghan sighed. “Take a good look, that’s as far as you’ll ever get,”

“What group is she in?” Sohee finally turned his gaze away.

“She’s not just in the group, she is the group. They all revolve around her. She’s the queen bee in her class, even upperclassmen know about her,” seunghan explained in admiration. “But shes kinda off limits so,”

“What? Why?” Sohee furrowed his brows.

“Her dad’s a real nut job about dating and stuff. He hates the existence of teen pregnancy,” seunghan told the younger.

Sohee just frowned. “Okay… what about… that guy,” he gestured to the group of guys by the wall. The guys were all huddled around each other, checking out girls as they passed by.

“That’s jeno and his little dream team,” seunghan mocked. “Ridiculously handsome, but there’s nothing going on in their heads,”

“Huh,” sohee shifted his gaze to a girl who was sitting at a table by herself, earbuds plugged in, drawing on a sketch pad. “What about her?”

Seunghan looked over at her. “Oh man, don’t,” he shook his head. “That’s YN, Yuna’s older sister,” they watched as she continued drawing. “She’s a nice girl deep down, but man can she be a bitch,” they watched as some of her friends joined her. “Her friends are the only people she talks to, other than Yuna, or Jeno when she wants to rip him a new one,”

“Sounds intense,” Sohee felt tense as he heard about her.

“Yeah, but she’s nice when you get her talking,” seunghan said, when a group of guys passed by them. Sohee noticed how other students looked up to stare.

“Them?”

“They don’t have a name. They’re just kind of insane.“ seunghan faked a shiver and sohee huffed out a breath. It was going to be a long year.

First chapter is kinda just a silly little intro! Next chapter will be a full smau and we’ll get into more stuff >:)

Taglist: @allyoops , @snowyseungs , @seobstarr , @hollxe1 , @Mmmewxgthn, @haeeeeefer , @dinosluver , @sseastar-main , @st4rryhae , @m1ng1swife , @hisrkive , @user7520, @nattys-girl , @papichulomacy , @so-lychee , @nicholasluvbot, @onebnis,

[t0ast-ghost]

SEASON 2 TIME! Episode 1 and it’s… AMOK TIME!?! Oh boy:

- “Oh, Captain.” Yeah McCoy?

- McCoy is worried about Spock just like Chapel is worried about Spock

- The fucking nameplates, whatever they’re called that are stuck to the walls are hilarious

- He was having his period

- THEY ADDED DEFOREST KELLY TO THE OPENING CREDITS

- Does Spock have a knife behind his back??! Oh wait does Spock have an arcade machine in his room?

- OH MY GOD CHEKOV

- How can I even explain? It’s like he’s t posing or smt (mom I threw up kinda stance)

- The little fight between McCoy and Spock in the med bay, McCoy wants to know what’s wrong and Spock is not doing well

- CONVERSATION BETWEEN SULU AND CHEKOV HOLY COW

- “He’ll die. He’ll die, Jim.” Knowing that Spock needs to fuck during this episode makes it so much better, this really is how they decided to start the new season

- “The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, captain.”

- Spock pours his heart out to Kirk “I haven’t heard a word you’ve said.” WHAT KIRK? What?

- Chapel listening to Kirk and McCoy like “shut the fuck up and just kiss already.” She’s happy that Kirk decided to go to Vulcan tho

- SHE ENTERED SPOCKS ROOM WITHOUT HIM KNOWING???

- Their conversation is… strange

- “You’ve been most patient with my kinds of madness.”

- He can be accompanied by his closest friends. And he chooses Kirk and McCoy. My heart.

- “She is T’Pring, my wife.” Goddamn he’s been cheating on his wife with two men in space

- Imagine all the Vulcan’s could just hear Kirk and McCoy’s commentary

- What the fuck is happening.. they explained that she chose to make him fight… but what the fuck is happening

- “You think Spock can take him?” “I doubt it. Not in his present condition.” Brutal McCoy. Brutal.

- Those bells are annoying as shit

- When Spock talks to T’Pau he looks so small, could be the high angle and way he’s curled in on himself

- This montage is crazy.. and annoying. I really hate those bells

- “Jim don’t go and fight Spock.” “I’m gonna go and fight Spock.. out of friendship.”

- Babygirl your murderous rage filled look has captivated me

- BOOB WINDOW MOMENT! It’s just as beautiful as I thought it would be

- McCoy’s “SPOCK NO!” Is like. He doesn’t want his idiot boyfriends dead

- I cannot express emotion

- “He’s dead.” HES DEAD BUT ITS JIM MOMENT

- T’Pring is such a girlboss but holy crap that’s fucking ruthless

- OMG HES HAPPY OH MY GOD HEA SMILUNF OH MY I could watch this clip all day

- McCoy is so smart and we thank him everyday

- “When I found I killed my boyfriend, I lost any interest in my wife”

- To end it off we must have a bit of flirting. “In a pig’s eye.” Which according to google means ‘Expressing scornful disbelief at a statement’

Episode written by Theodore Sturgeon

Of fucking course it was him. See ya on the flip flop.

Masterpost

[stans-kissing]

Saw a two and a half stans fic that made me physically ill and have to put my phone down and walk into a lake anyways I think absolutely nothing would stop Ford from molesting a kid version of his brother. I hate him <3

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhohoohhhohohhoooooooo. tw for rape !!!!!!!1! . Wow bee actuallywriting something ?!?!? ok anyways

i had adraft about this on my old account im so fucking mad i lsot it;

i think this works best for paranoid ford. the freak holds so much hatred and resentlment dtowards his brother and on top of the insane mental strain he's already going through he has No control over his emotions and hes angry and scared and mad at the world and yoeah you get the idea

i think he has a lot of repressed emotions and he projects a lot of that onto the stan he remembers from when he was a teenager, young and pudgey all over and even just thinking about his sweet younger brother makes him so fucking Angry because. because how could stan throw that away. ruin the perfect little bubble they had with just eachother its his fault its all his fucking fault and he hates him so much and he hates thinking about him and thinking about his kid brother because it fills him with such overwhelming painful emotion about the sunny days on theh beach he cant have anymore because fuckhead stan had to ruin it all and he can’t stand it and

yeah you get the idea. Anyways

insert whatever scenario leads to him being with a kid version of his brother. little 12 yr old stanley would be wowed at the guy infront of him bc holy shit !!!!!!!1 sixers huge and grown up and (althought he hasnt showered in like probably a month) he loks so effing cool and stanley is just Nyaaa fangirling so hard and ford is just Gih . hhuh. . because what the fuck thats his little tween brother and how is he heere and why does stan;ey still look at him all doe eyed and innocent and he has no idea what is gonna happen to them later on down the line and ford just gets so filled with rage and frustration and hurt and selfhate (bc dumbass knows deep down it wasnt just stans faukt that hes not with ford anymroe) and he would just be overcome with the urge to snuff out that little spark of light in his little brother's eyes and he just. takes out all those years of pent up emotion out on the small boy

he'd ignore his confused cries and the way his little hands trying (and failing) to push ford away because he's seeing red and his ears are ringing and the voices in his head are screaming at him to just ruins stan's innocent because this is what he deserves, to have this ripped away from him just like heripped away fords only chance at a normal life and maybe a part of this is because he hates himself just as much, and who is stan if not also ford?

do you guys see the visions. ok im tired goodnight

[idk-man-just-here-for-the-food]

VIVZIEPOP, MY BELOVED

I JUST FINISHED MASTERMIND AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THIS EPISODE AMAZING

Spoilers ahead for the new episode 🩷🩷

so first off STOLITZ IS OKAY NOW, MY GOD I WAS WAITING FOR THIS

and then.. STELLA AND ADREALPHUS (idk if that’s how you spell his name). I HATE THEM, SO MUCH. THEY HURT MY POOKIE STOLAS AND TOOK LITERALLY EVERYTHING FROM HIM, HIS STATUS, HIS DAUGHTER, HIS POWERS??!?!!

AND THE ANGST AND FLUFF IN THIS EPISODE IS JUST SO 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

AND THE LIL CHEEK KISS AT THE END???

They’re gay, your honor

also, love how they showed bee and ozzie’s opinions on blitz

anyways, love the episode and can’t wait for sinsmas, vivziepop is the BEST

[error-dark]

I AM NOT OKAY!

(Spoilers for Helluva Boss: Mastermind!)

So much to talk about. So much happened. I'll do my best to summarize my thoughts.

First up, THE ANIMATION! The details! I love it all!! Next, the music! Stolas and Blitz had a duet! Love the song!

Finally, the plot itself. Holy shit. Holy hell. Satan, Ozzie, Queen Bee, all of them (expect Lucifer with his cute "BRB" note and ducky) were all there! Ozzie and Bee tried their best to stand by Blitz! EVEN FIZZ TEXTED OZZIE, WORRYING THE HELL ABOUT BLITZ!! STOLAS CAME TO SAVE HIS ASS ONLY TO BECOME PART OF THE LOWER CLASS!

Now the roles are technically reversed with Blitz having every imp loving him while Stolas is getting hated. And Blitz let Stolas stay with him and Loona! Loona even told Blitz "I love you, Dad"!! (maybe not exact words, but SHE SAID IT!!!) AND THE KISS ON THE CHEEK!!! AWWW BLITZ AND STOLAS ARE SO CUTE!!

Also, fuck Stella. Fuck her. Fuck Striker, too. Fuck Stella's brother. Fuck 'em all. Octavia was so scared of loosing her dad. Stella blocked the door, gave Octavia a fake worry/sadden look, letting her daughter to hug her, giving her what I'm assuming is fake comfort. Whether or not if Stella actually cares about Octavia (in which I still doubt, but I'm open minded), to me personally, this scene reminds me the exact same fake comfort Mother Gothel gave Rapunzel in Tangled after Rapunzel saw Eugene (from her pov) sailing away with the crown without her, leaving her. (of course, we, the viewer, knows that he was actually tied up to the boat against his own will). It pains me, as a viewer and huge fan of this show, watching Stella getting away with shit while Blitz gets the blame. It's worse to even know that Blitz and Stolas HAD AN ARRANGMENT. Even the I.M.P. knew about this! Yes, Blitz did tried to steal the Book at first, but that led to him and Stolas having an arrangement. The Full Moon.

I'm very excited to see the end of Season 2, and how the story continues in future season(s). This episode was the one I've been waiting for, and it was worth the wait!

Side note: I wanna add that I almost cried when Blitz almost died and when I thought Stolas was gonna die. This was definitely an emotional rollercoaster.

[peak-dumbass]

I’m bored and procrastinating so let me spout my rid2015!smokebee propaganda at y’all please just hear me out

Now y’all maybe wondering “why are you specifying rid2015?? Smokescreen was only in TFP, bro doesn’t exist in rid2015–” EXACTLY! Smokescreen wasn’t in rid2015 so most of the stuff made for the ship is for them in TFP but that’s not what I’m trying to sell y’all on

I’m trying to sell y’all on the idea that — if Smokescreen was in rid2015, he would be in a relationship with Bee — hence the specification

Now what y’all are probably asking is “why????”

Well that’s what this post is for!! First off:

The Shenanigans

Idk if y’all remember but Smokey was the silliest bot on Team Prime, easily the most immature mf in the main cast (other than Miko) — now try to tell me without lying to my face that he wouldn’t fit in perfectly with the goofy goobers the make up Team Bee??

He would definitely see himself in Sideswipe and try to bond with him thru pranks and goofing off while also trying to guide him into avoiding the same mistakes he made (ex. Hard Knocks)

He probably makes Strongarm feel conflicted cuz his reckless personality clashes with her image of what an “Elite Guardsman” would act like, but I think Smokescreen would just try to get her to loosen up a bit while not bickering with her unlike what Sideswipe and her usually do

Upon seeing Grimlock he’d immediately go “HOLY SCRAP ARE YOU A DINOBOT!?!?!”, he thinks Grim is so cool and really wants to spar with him

He probably sees Arcee in the way Drift acts and respects him a lot just based on that alone, though he knows it’s gonna take time for him to earn that respect back from Drift (I LOVE HIS CHARACTER GROWTH IN PRIME AND I WILL KEEP THAT IN THIS SILLY LITTLE IDEA OF MINE, HE DID GET BETTER AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE IGNORE THAT JUST CUZ THEY FIND HIM ANNOYING)

He’s probably not met much minicons so he’s not used to them, but I can see him having a good friendship with Fixit and being very nice to Jetstorm and Slipstream

He takes one look at Russell, turns to Bee and says “do you have a thing for human kids with brown hair and names starting with R??” Other than that I think he vibes with Russell and Denny well

As for his dynamics with the Decepticons — he’d be making constant quips, he’d make fun of all of them immediately like a robot alien version of Spider-Man — after previously fighting against Megatron himself he cannot take any of the furries of rid2015 seriously

The Fluff

Look at me. Like seriously look at me. Look into my eyes and imagine with me for a sec.

Bee and Smokey learning how to work with each other in the field again, reminiscing about the rare good memories during the war

Bee infodumping about Earth culture to him while Smokey just listens while looking at him with borderline heart eyes

I think Bee really likes physical affection and words of affirmation so randomly Smokey will just hug Bee when they’re in the scrapyard and will compliment him when he does well at leading and mentoring the others cuz he knows that shit ain’t easy (again, he sees himself and Sideswipe and realizes “damn I really was annoying holy scrap I’m so sorry”)

I HC that Smokey can still move his doorwings like he and Bee did in TFP, so whenever he sees Bee and gets excited his flap up and down (I know this is purely self indulgent BUT IN MY DEFENSE THIS ENTIRE POST IS ME BEING SELF INDULGENT, THIS FANDOM IS ALREADY DEAD AS HELL I’D BE SURPRISED IF ANYONE EVEN READS THIS FAR INTO THIS POST, LET ME BE SELF INDULGENT IN PEACE)

When either of them get bad days where they just keep thinking about the war, they do their best to comfort each other thru it cuz, unlike the rest of the team, they were both there for most of the late-war-shit together on Earth — and for the stuff that Smokey wasn’t there for, he just listens and makes sure Bee knows that he’ll always be there for him

The shock of the team finding out that Bee has a partner is amazing and it could happen in so many ways (if y’all wanna see one of my interpretations on how this could go you could check out my fanfic: Old Recruit on AO3)

The team seeing their usually serious team leader be partners with this unserious constant-joker of a bot stores a lot of cute potential stories in it that no one is writing about — like come on guys I want Bee trying to be serious in the scrapyard but then Smokey just hugs him from behind out of nowhere and Bee just has to process it for a sec cuz touch starvation go brrrr while the rest of them is like :O

The Angst

While this section is mainly Smokey focused more than smokebee focused, I’m still adding it cuz this still falls under the “what if smokescreen was in rid2015” idea

Smokey definitely has claustrophobia and a hatred for being restrained in anyway from the TFP (waking up captive on a Decepticon ship after being knocked out, Knockout restraining him on his operating table while he tears the Omega Key from inside his body, being stuck with a dying Optimus in a cramped cave for a while panicking cuz holy shit Optimus, his #1 hero, is fucking dying) so any mission that requires going into a cave or dark & cramped area is gonna cause him to freak out — but of course he wouldn’t actually admit that until it’s too late and he’s having a breakdown in a cave cuz he didn’t want to let his “stupid irrational fear to ruin a mission”

Same goes with Bee and his fears — I touched on this a bit earlier, but Bee & Smokey definitely have some days where they’re gonna feel off and they can’t get the war out of their heads — and those days are gonna be the worst cuz most of the team outside of maybe Drift won’t really understand it

Smokey is gonna have some feelings about Optimus coming back and Bee not telling him immediately — while this isn’t the first time Optimus died and came back to him, last time it was for a few seconds, this was for THREE WHOLE YEARS — he’s still gonna be happy that he’s back, it’s just gonna take awhile longer for him to be ok with it than the others (the way that Ratchet is immediately ok with Optimus coming back out of nowhere in rid!2015 was weird to me so I’m fixing that with Smokey)

While he loves giving Bee physical affection, he hates unwarranted touching from anyone else, specifically stuff like pats or punches on the back (Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha—)

For a potential angsty introduction to Smokey in rid2015: He doesn’t meet up with Team Bee until the finale episode on Cybertron, where he’s being mind controlled by The High Council to capture them (I’m a sucker for brainwashing/mind control/hypnotism plots so I need to understand how BADLY I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN IN THE SHOW IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO COOL)

That’s all I can think of for now, I just love these funky big robos a lot and I’m currently smashing their faces together like a kid with 2 Barbie dolls in my mind, hope y’all enjoyed reading <3