#hollywood is fake

[pardonmybunion]

So this @laurenillustrated artwork and all the vintage-dream-casting at @hotvintagepoll got me thinking: if Scooby Doo were a thing in the 1890s, then a few years later it would be a NATURAL for silent Hollywood. So who do we cast in Hal Roach’s hit 1915-1919 series of Scooby Doo live-action comedy shorts?

Shaggy and Scoob are both easy, because look, here’s Charley Bowers! He always plays chaotic pottering-around-with-machinery types, which is exactly the vibe that 1890s Shaggy gives, and he does so with a surrealist slapstick edge that’s perfect for the material. On top of that, Bowers is a pioneering stop-motion special effects artist—so he can also be our lead animator, and the rapport between live-action Shaggy and his animated Scooby will be delightful.

Like Shaggy, Velma has to have a certain slapstick quality (“Where are my glasses? I can’t see without my glasses”), so it’s lucky we have Alice Howell—nicknamed “the female Charlie Chaplin” by the tiresome people who use that type of comparison. The point is, she can give Velma the bookish self-possession suggested in the 1890s look, AND also run through a gajillion doors in a wacky hallway chase culminating in a spectacular pratfall.

(Mabel Normand is another contender, but her acting style seems a couple notches too naturalistic for Scooby Doo. I definitely see her directing a bunch of the shorts though.)

Fred needs to be both a conventionally hot manly-hero type and a bit of an idiot, so hello Reginald Denny! This British actor emigrated to Hollywood in the early 1910s, became a comedy star, and played himbos so well that he was still playing them into the 1960s. He’s even in the Adam West Batman movie as the naval hero Commodore Schmidlapp, who’s so ditzy he doesn’t realize he’s been kidnapped by the Penguin.

Daphne is a fun one—let’s assume that by this point, Pearl White is tired of all those straight-up action serials like The Perils of Pauline, and wants to do a spoof for a change. With silent comedy shorts there’s always a chance the plot will wander away and leave the individual gags running the store, and White brings enough tension and gravitas to prevent that situation and keep things moving. At the same time, since she favors action roles, she can easily match the dynamism of Bowers, Howell, and Denny.

And that’s to say nothing of all the silent actors who could appear in bit parts on their way to fame. Maybe the gang tears the mask off the ghost, and discovers it’s an early-career Buster Keaton?

[kdinjenzen]

Some Fans: “OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE HOW THICC/MUSCULAR/BIG THEY MADE (CHARACTER NAME)!?!?!? IM GOING TO GO FERAL! THE CHARACTER IS SO MEATY AND HUGE AND THICK AND JUICY!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE BEEN SO FED TODAY FANDOM!!!!!”

The Character:

[cozylittleartblog]

top hat, white tie, and tails ~

commission for @superfan44 , who wanted to see James redrawn in another famous Fred Astaire photo :)c it was fun doing this style again

[fake-destiel-news]

Thats the easiest AITA ever

(btw it might not be bob specifically, that’s just what the Reddit comments said but idk how they know)

Here’s a little response straight from the picket line

[kaorym]

[topgunsocial]

[theomenmedia]

A Timeline Of The Fake Feud Between Ryan Reynolds And Hugh Jackman!

Celebrating Ryan Reynolds turning 48 with a look back at his epic fake feud with Hugh Jackman! From witty jabs to promotional genius, here's to more years of laughter and faux rivalry!

Take a trip down the memory lane through this article right here: https://www.theomenmedia.com/post/ryan-reynolds-turns-48-a-hilarious-retrospective-of-his-epic-fake-feud-with-hugh-jackman

[transneilyoung]

it isn't funny anymore

[festivetopgun2024]

With the Stars in the Darkness, and Love in the Light by flyingfightingfishy (@flyingfightingfishy)

for LadyLanera (@ladylanera)

Ship: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell & Rick "Hollywood" Neven/Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe

Rating: T

Word Count: 8,359

Summary: 

Ice cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I was calling about Wood and Wolf's wedding." "Oh yeah! I was sort of wondering about that. When I talked to Wolf a couple weeks ago he said the invitations would be out soon but I haven't gotten one.” Ice cleared his throat again, not quite sure how to address the situation. "Yes. Well. That's because it's with mine. Which is why I called.” Mav made a noise of mild confusion from the other end of the phone. ”They sent them together?" "Ah, no,” Ice said, taking a deep breath. “They invited us. Together. As a couple. Same invitation." OR Ice and Mav get invited to Hollywood and Wolfman's wedding together. They're not a couple. They decide not to correct the assumption.

[See previous Fake Dating Fic.]

[Top Gun 🌞Secret 🎅Fake Dating Fic Exchange Collection]

[ceruleanharley]

yes tom cruise is fun but. la28 is gonna be capitalist consumerist hell huh

[daisiesonafield-blog]

For everyone who thinks Harry (or any celeb) doesn’t need PR 🥴

link

[hsslilly-blog]

i had never drawn a portrait for claire so i took it as an opportunity for Lore Development. so heres her id pic for her drivers license renewal in 2014. looking at you weirdly. do NOT put her behind the wheel. do NOT get in a car with claire swanson if she’s driving. actually maybe don’t get in a car with her at all

[luhafraser]

In this crazy little world, everyone is always hiding something...

[ninyard]

🧁

booked

-

"It's branding, more than anything else," A blonde woman answered. Allison would be reminded of her name by her agent at some point, but in the midst of a surprise argument over recent controversies, it hadn't mattered much at all in the moment. "More people are doing it than you'd think."

"It's ridiculous, that's what it is," Allison shook the paperwork her way before throwing it on the table between them. The woman stopped it from falling off the opposite side with a single polished nail that pushed it back into the centre of the long surface, a table in the middle of a boardroom that hadn't been updated since the 90's.

"I finished my contract. I did the press tour, I took the photos. I apologised on fucking daytime TV. I am not doing this."

"Allison," Jenna stepped in to her left, the branding manager who wore a soft smile on her face like she wasn't prepared to ruin Allison's life for the sake of her image. She spoke gently when she clarified, "This suggestion isn't coming from our side."

Allison looked across to Kevin, who sat with his own reps, sheepishly staring at the ground like he was embarrassed to be there.

"I don't care," She crossed her arms and stared until he looked up and she caught his gaze. His jaw tensed first, followed by the pursing of his lips. Allison didn't look away as she continued, "I'd rather go to rehab kicking and screaming than spend any more time with him than I already have."

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

So to go on about GirlbossTM or Hollywood Strong Women and how much I hate them, Yoon Sae-bom from Happiness, not a Girlboss! *cheers*

A Hollywood Warrior WomanTM always looks perfect, sexy, and stylish even when bashing in the enemies (my most hated example)

But not Sae-bom! She spends most of the show wearing what looks like very normal clothing that would be easy to run in. She doesn't ever look "sexy", not even once. Her clothes are baggy. I think the most form fitting thing she wears is the military uniform at the end. And she wears running shoes! No heels!

They do not let the leads hair get greasy (they should have, I doubt they'd waste water washing it like that stupid other lady), but it's not the stupid overly styled nonsense. She either has her hair down or in a ponytail. She just looks like a normal woman who is trying to get through a lockdown.

Also, they never make her The Best Ever! Even Better Than The Men, she's pretty equally matched to her husband. He has a physical edge and she's trained more, but they act together.

And her character being excited about food and eating a lot? Doesn't make me furious because she isn't rail thin and she expends a lot of calories in her job/training.

Like honestly, is a woman like this that hard to write and costume? Or does Hollywood media just cater to men so much that even the less overtly sexy Warrior Women must wear tight tank tops because otherwise the boys might get bored or something? Like honestly why can't I have this all the time?

[rotzaprachim]

what no one has done nearly enough with is vel and cassian (or more likely, joreth sward or someone) having a lavender marriage for the Rebellion. vel needs a more convenient Cover for not being a nice heterosexually married Chandrilan Lady and the rebellion needs to sink another long term sleeper agent into the Chandrilan elite to pass money and information around. Vel and Cassian think they're going to kill each other in the first week or be immediately found out but the thing is that because they have a shared purpose and don't actively hate each other's guts they can grit their teeth and Bear It for the rebellion and in comparison to the *rest* of *real* Chandrilan couples this is an absolute dream relationship, so everyone's after Vel for marriage advice

enter jyn and cinta. for maximum drama