#holiday episode guide

[eastsideofthemoon]

Star Trek Holiday-ish Episode Guide (based on your suggestions)

*(will update. Please make suggestions)

Halloween

The Devil in the Dark (TOS)

Catspaw (TOS)

Wolf in the Fold (TOS)

The Squire of Gothos (TOS)

Operation - Annihilate (TOS)

Spector of the Gun (TOS)

Phantasms (TNG)

Night Terrors (TNG)

The Next Phase (TNG)

Frame of Mind (TNG)

Remember Me (TNG)

Sub Rosa (TNG)

Genesis (TNG)

The Haunting of Deck Twelve (VOY)

Bride of Chaotica (VOY)

Empok Nor (DS9)

Context is for Kings (DSC)

Let Sleeping Borg Lie (Prodigy)

Thanksgiving

Forget Me Not (DSC)

Christmas

All Good Things (TNG)

11:59 (VOY)

Mortal Coli (VOY)

The Way of the Warrior (DSG)

Badda-bing, Badda-Bang (DS9)

There is a Tide (DSC)

[aro-aizawa]

huh another thing to add into the list for understanding how my brain ticks: the only ways that i can seem to get into new things or things i've been meaning to for a while is on a complete whim or if i know i'm gonna be home alone for a while

[nimata-beroya]

Note: Since my old masterlist is getting notes again (and I'm hosting @tbb-appreciation-week this year), I thought it's a good time to release a new version with a lot more resources. If any of you know another site or thing that it's missing from the list, let me know and I'll include it!! [Altho, I'm getting this close 🤏 to the hyperlinks limit on this thing 😆]

Note 2: To avoid tagging the 3 people from whom I got multiple resources repeatedly, I've placed 1-3 asterisks between square brackets after the links, depending on the OP. I give the respective credit to them in a legend at the end of the post.

PLACES / TIME

Interactive Galaxy Map by Henry Bernberg

Map of the Galaxy

List of planets and moons [Wikipedia /needs expanding]

Planet Name Generator 1 [SciFi Ideas]

Planetary System Generator [Donjon]

Tatooine Location References [*]

Various locations Cross-Sections (Jedi Temple, Palp's office, Tipoca City & more) [**]

Republic - Separatist - Hutt space during the Clone Wars

Hyperspace Travel Times (to calculate how much time would take to go from point A to point B within the GFFA)

Standard Calendar and Holidays [including month names!]

Galactic Standard Calendar [wookiepedia // including week day names]

Date converter according to SWTOR [Google sheet]

Dated Star Wars Chronological Order (Movies + live-action shows + animation)

TCW Chronological Timeline by @mauvrix

Estimated date for: shared by @spectres-fulcrum

Partisans' attack on Onderon

Siege of Lasan

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

General

Star Wars Name Generator 1 [Donjon]

Star Wars OC flow chart by @thefoodwiththedood

Star Wars Name Generator 2 [FantasyNames]

Star Wars Name Generator 3 [FantasyNames]

MetaHuman [Unreal Engine]

The character creator

Droid Name Generator

Star Wars Randomizer by @aureutr

Character Picrew [Twi-leks, Zabraks, Torgutas and Nautolans] @/megaramikaeli

Jedi

Taking a Closer Look at the Jedi Order in Star Wars Canon [Meta/Reference Guide] [**]

Jedi Order Structure Flowchart by @rileys-nest

Mandalorians

Mandalorian Armor design by MandoCreator

Keepers of the Way (Mandalorian Lore) [*]

Clones

Complete List Of Named Clone Troopers shared by @propheticfire (Organized by Unit)

Clone Creator [MandoCreator]

Clone Picrew

Star Wars Character Templates by SmacksArt [the ULTIMATE battery of template for any human/humanoid original character in any era. From troopers to droids, from Jedi to Sith, from KOTOR to the sequel Trilogy. 100% RECOMMENDED]

Basic Guide to Clone Trooper Armour by @odekiisu

GAR structure summary by @intermundia

The Clone Wars Republic Military Hierarchy Flowcharts [***]

Clone Trooper Lore [*] [Ranks, Culture, Training, Organization, etc.]

Clones and Kamino [*]

The Bad Batch Characters Concept Art shared by @shadowthestoryteller

MISCELLANEOUS

Star Wars Character Age Comparison Chart by @the-yearning-astronaut

Tusken Raiders lore by @snarwor

Materials (fabrics, leathers, silks, plastics, construction, metal composites, etc.)

Materials in Star Wars by marvel_dc_heart_throbs

Star Wars Fashion [*]

Leisure, Art, Musical Instruments, Ethnography [*]

Political and Criminal Organizations in the GFFA [**]

Financial reference about credits by @thecoffeelorian

List of TCW Opening Quotes

Transcripts of all the TCW episodes shared by @book-of-baba-fett

Star Wars Crawl Creator [not exactly writing-related, but just for fun]

HEALTH AND MEDICINE

Canon Medical Lore [*]

Real World reference for Field organizational structure for corpsman (medics) [*]

Kaliida Shoals Medical Center (Republic Haven-class medical station) shared by @clonewarsarchives

GAR Battalion Aid Station [*]

GAR Clone Medic Q/A [*]

More combat medicine, shipboard medicine, veteran issues, and military culture [*]

SHIPS AND VEHICLES

Ship Generator 3D

Ship Name Generator

All Terrain Tactical Enforcer (AT-TE) shared by @stairset

Republic Vessels Reference [*]

Low Altitude Assault Transport/Infantry (LAAT/i) [*]

List of GAR Flagships in the Clone Wars by @meandmyechoes

Layout of the Havoc Marauder

Dimensions of various ships from the Clone Wars [**]

FOOD AND DRINKS

Star Wars Menu Generator

In-Universe Alcoholic beverages

Canon Cocktails (recipes) [*]

Another In-Universe Drinks list shared by @systemic-dreams

Teas in Star Wars by marvel_dc_heart_throbs

Foodstuff [*]

Canon Star Wars Holiday Recipes [*]

Trask Chowder Recipe (from The Mandalorian) [*]

LANGUAGES; PHRASES AND SLANG; VOCABULARY

Languages of the Galaxy [*]

Script of different languages in the GFFA by @lucif-hare-blog

In-Universe phrases and slang [Google sheet]

List of phrases and slang [wookiepedia]

List of equivalents to real-world objects [wookiepidia]

Talk Like a Clone Trooper shared by @archeo-starwars

Aurebesh Translator [Aurebesh.org]

Learning Aurebesh Tools [Aurebesh.org] Reading - Writing.

Mando'a Database [Mando.org]

Mando'a Transcripticon [MandoCreator] (Create your own text in the Mando'a script.)

@project-shereshoy (Blog that collects and posts sources for Mando'a from all over the internet.)

Mando’a Categorized Spreadsheet

Learning Mando'a Tools [MandoCreator] Reading - Writing.

Setting Thesaurus Entry: Spaceport [Writers helping writers]

Fan-created Conlangs

@dai-bendu-conlang (Jedi Culture Explored) (This blog is the home of the Dai Bendu Conlang, invented by the Archive of Our Own Users aroacejoot, @ghostwriterofthemachine, and loosingletters for the Jedi Order in Star Wars.)

Lasana Lexicon by Anath_Tsurugi (fandom lexicon of the Lasat Language)

HELPFUL BLOGS & SITES

The amazing @fox-trot, who not only makes astonishing art and write an amazing fic, she also responds to medical questions and gives all kinds of references for writing medic characters. Check her #medicposting tag and you'll find tons of information. Also check #star wars reference and her art tag while you're at it.

@writebetterstarwars, which seems to be inactive, but there are a bunch of references there.

@howtofightwrite The place to find out how to write a good fight scene.

@scriptmedic no longer active, but it has a great deal of useful information.

@scripttorture for your whump needs. Major trigger warning for all its content.

@sw-anthrobiology A blog dedicated to collecting headcanons about the biology and cultures of Star Wars species.

@archeo-starwars In-universe sources on culture and history.

@clonewarsarchives Resources & Concept Art Blog for The Clone Wars animated series.

Wookiepedia If you don't find something in here, it's probably because it doesn't exist, neither as a canon nor legends reference.

Star Wars Databank: The official Star Wars website's reference guide. All canon.

WRITING IN GENERAL (For those who don't want to die like Stormtroopers)

SlickWrite: Completely free; online. Checks grammar, punctuation, flow, and writing style according to different settings (including fiction writing).

ProWritingAid: [RECOMMENDED] One of the most thorough online proofreader I've ever used. Although when using a free account gives extremely thorough feedback, with +20 different in-depth reports, for only the first 500 words. However, you can earn a premium account license (for a year or for life) if you get 10 or 20 new users signing up for free; (if you wouldn't mind doing so using the link above and help me earn mine, please). The settings allow you to check your writing according to your needs, from general to formal to creative. It has a bonus that you can check depending on the genre you're writing. For example, in creative, you can choose romance or sci-fiction (there are 14 sub-genre in total). And just like google docs, you can share a document, and people can view, comment or edit it too.

LanguageTool: [RECOMMENDED] Another excellent proofreader. It also has a word limit in free accounts, but if you use the add-on for Google Docs, it counts each page as a new document, so hitting the word limit is nearly impossible. It helps you to rewrite a sentence (3 a day), even if it doesn't raise any flags; it's very useful for when your sentence is grammatically correct, but it doesn't feel quite right.

Grammarly, Hemingway Editor: No so great, but they do the basic job.

Legend

[*] Shared by @fox-trot [**] Shared by @gffa [***] Shared by @cacodaemonia.

[kakushino]

Knot Enough

Werewolf! Tomioka Giyuu x AFAB! Reader

Giyuu is hit by an unanticipated rut.

Tags: smut, in heat/rut, pheromones acting as aphrodisiac, knotting [& creampie (obviously)], possessiveness Word count: 2,4k

Masterlist

It was the start of an extended weekend - holiday on Thursday and you took Friday off - and you were happy to finally catch up on your anime binging. All was peaceful, you were in just your panties and an oversized shirt for comfort; you got through two episodes so far, you were stocked up on snacks and drinks, content to spend three days alone before your date with your new boyfriend, Giyuu.

You had met Giyuu through a friend of a friend and you hit it off very quickly. You just sort of… clicked together, like missing puzzle pieces, or soulmates or whatever. It was three months in, and you couldn’t be happier. You hadn’t yet passed the kissing stage, but Giyuu seemed a little shy, which was perfectly fine. It wasn’t as if either of you were uncontrollable horny teens.

You were in the middle of watching a mage and his apprentice acquire a grim familiar during a tension filled-scene when your doorbell rang. 

“Fuck-!” you were so into it, the noise nearly made you jump out of your skin. Pausing the episode and putting your snacks on the coffee table, you padded over to the front door. The peeking hole showed you your boyfriend with a troubled expression. Worried, you quickly opened it. “Giyuu?”

The sound of your voice snapped him from a trance and his fever-bright eyes met yours. A smile spread on his face and slight blush decorated his cheeks when he walked forward without asking to come in. Unusual.

“Is everything okay?” The door closed.

Your boyfriend didn’t respond, kicking off his shoes - another odd thing, he was a very neat person - and tugging you into a tight hug, burying his face in your neck and inhaling deeply. A shudder seemed to go through him the moment he took you in.

He spoke at last. “I know we’ve only just started dating,” he started in a low rasp. The sound of his voice so close to your ear sent goosebumps crawling across your whole body. “But my rut just arrived and I-” he cut himself off with a sharp exhale, his nose touching the side of your neck when he took a deep breath again.

You were beyond confused. “...rut? What do you mean?”

Giyuu’s arms wound even tighter around your form. It was a bad time to start explaining but he needed to, he needed you to understand and to act - to help him. “I’m not human.” 

You could only gasp. “What are you-?”

“I’m a wolf at times… and this wolf affects me even in human form. I need to-” he shuddered again, his lips gliding down your neck to where your shoulder met it. He licked the spot, trying to stem his hunger for you. “Please let me- let me fuck you,” he said in a breathy voice.

His desperation sent a flare of desire throughout your entire body. Your mind reeled with his admission. This whole scenario reminded you of the monster porn you read once or twice, but what did it mean for you? 

“Please,” he begged hoarsely, one of his hands pushing on the small of your back to press your belly against the bulge in his pants. 

Giyuu had never begged you before, he'd never expressed himself so boldly before. Just because of that, you were leaning towards giving in. 

It didn't help that he smelled so good.

"Okay." 

No sooner had that word left your lips, his own slotted against yours in a deep and desperate kiss that stole your breath away.

He backed you up against the wall, his hands holding your hips to grind against you and yours in his hair, the leather cord he used to tie it coming loose quickly as you lightly tugged on it. He released a sinful moan into the kiss, sending a delightful shiver down your spine.

Giyuu guided you both to the bedroom - you later wondered how he knew which room it was - tugging at your oversized shirt, clearly wanting it off, an impossible feat without pulling back from the kiss.

Just when you thought he would give in and tear it in off, he actually did let you discard it peacefully.

Your panties did not receive the same tender care.

With a growl of "I'll buy you some later," he laid you onto the bed tucking himself between your legs. One of his arms supported his weight by your head, the fingers of the other impatiently delving into your pussy to prepare you as soon as possible. One, two, three digits stretched you out in a quick manner while all you could do was sigh and moan softly, your eyes locked onto each other as you quivered under his form, mind hazy.

Giyuu had wanted to take his time on your first night�� before his rut hit him. Now, he just wanted to eat you alive.

“I want you,” Giyuu whispered breathlessly. “I need you.”

You nodded shakily, still trying to find your bearings from the stretch of your pussy on his fingers. He pulled them away, making you gasp at the emptiness, your muscles clenching around nothing as you heard his belt buckle open. 

The sound of it had never been so enticing before.

You blinked slowly and looked at him.

You weren’t a virgin, but you had never seen a cock like his - thick and long and so, so pretty, with a strange swelling around the middle. But a brief glance was all you could get before he was onto you, kissing you deeply, sloppily. He was in a daze, his eyes half-lidded.

“Lovie, gods, I need you-” 

Giyuu lined himself up against your entrance and slid in slowly, the stretch of his tip entering you feeling so much more than his three fingers, even if it didn’t seem like it. “F-fuck, slow- slow downngh-” 

He immediately stopped and pulled away from your face, eyes glistening with unshed tears, guilt and anguish clear in his expression. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking so wounded as if he were the one being speared open with a cock. 

You breathed through the burn, your hands cupping his cheeks gently. “Just go slower okay? I’m not- it’s just been a while,” you reassured him. 

“I don’t want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you,” he leaned closer, resting his forehead against yours. “Please forgive me, lovie.”

Your thumbs caressed his face softly as you murmured, “You’re fine, Giyuu. You just need to go slow, okay? Can you do that for me?”

He closed his eyes, and hummed in agreement, sliding more of himself in slowly, as you’d told him to. He kissed you in an unhurried passion, enjoying you - your taste, your heat, your body against his. 

The burn wasn’t as bad this time, though as you threaded your fingers in his hair, you had to grip it tight when the swelled middle started to slide in. You broke away from him to breathe, clenching your eyes shut as Giyuu murmured apology after apology, peppering many soothing kisses all over your face and then-

Giyuu slipped in in his entirety, eliciting a deep groan from his throat. He’d swear later it was an accident, that he’d mean to just force his knot in faster so you wouldn't hurt so much, but he miscalculated how slippery you were. And Gods, your cunt was so snug around his cock, he could hardly breathe.

You could hardly breathe. So full. So hot. A fever spreading from your belly out to your fingertips - but not unpleasant. It felt good. The pain and burn faded instantly when you buried your face in Giyuu’s neck, breathing in the musky smell of his sweat. It made your mouth water and you couldn’t resist placing an open mouthed kiss on his pulse point, your tongue slipping out to taste him. 

His breath hitched, his hips bucked, and you threw your head back with a low moan when he hit the sweet spot inside of you with his cock.

“Fuck- sorry, lovie,” he apologized in a strained voice, trying to stay still. “Are you o-okay?” 

You only nodded shakily. “Please, mo-move.” You forced your hands to stop gripping his hair so much, keeping only one hand there while another cupped his cheek. 

Your eyes locked with his as he started to rock into you gently.

Giyuu’s face was flushed, sweat beading at his temples, lips parted to pant, eyes glazed over with an unnatural brightness. You probably looked no better, a mess underneath your lover. 

He kept panting and moaning softly, and this was the most expressive you'd ever seen or heard your boyfriend be. The vulnerability he showed you made you feel as if you would crack open - your heart so full it could not be contained-

“I love you.”

The words slipped past your lips before you could stop yourself. His eyes seemed to glow with happiness, and he sped up his thrusts. Your hands fell from him to grip onto his forearms.

“I love you, I love you-Iloveyou-” Each time he bottomed out, you repeated your feelings, and each time, he went faster until nothing other than moans and whines could escape you. 

Why did this feel more intense than anything you’d ever felt before? Why did it feel like you’d spiral any second? Why did it feel like you couldn’t get enough, that you wanted more of him, have him deeper, make him carve you out from the inside until no one else could fit but him?

It was a heady mix of greed and lust and gluttony for Giyuu, the not-human, the wolf.

“Pl-ease-! Ah!”

You could hardly believe the sounds leaving your throat, high pitched whines and animalistic keening, which only seemed to spur Giyuu on to be rougher with you. He kept eye contact with you still, his hands gripping the fabric of your pillow above your shoulders tightly, his wrists leaning against you to keep you from sliding away from his thrusts.

“Ghi-yuu-ngh-” 

His lips slipped open even more, in awe of how beautifully he disintegrated your composure; dew beaded at your lash line, your eyebrows furrowed, eyes half-lidded as you babbled his name, begged and told him how you loved him. 

And oh how he loved you too. 

He was going to keep you as his forever. Your cunt was too good for him, you were too good for him. Your scent called to him. He needed you.

More, more, more.

Not enough.

Giyuu fucked you like the beast he was, chasing his pleasure and getting drunk off of yours. This was the first heat he’d been even tempted to sink into the core of his partner and Gods, it felt so good. He’d never be able to not fuck you during his heat.

Thankfully, his heats happened only once or twice a year…

He pulled back slightly, slowing the fucking temporarily so he could put both of your legs over his shoulders before he picked up his earlier pace again. His hands gripped your hips tightly, his sharp nails - claws - digging into your skin. You could no longer keep your eyes locked into his, turning your head away and clenching your eyes shut, tears of pleasure falling, when he slightly changed the angle and rubbed along your sweet spot repeatedly. You let out a hoarse whimper.

“Lo-lovie, if you get- fuck- if you get any tighter - hah - I won’t be able to pull out-” he choked out, yet he did not let up. Deep down, he knew he would not be able to hold himself back. He needed to give you all he had, he needed to fill you with his love.

You clawed at the mattress, trying to find purchase, not knowing if you wanted to escape from the ecstasy or if you wanted more. Something threatened to snap in your gut, Giyuu didn’t seem to care as he pounded into you. “Plea-se-!” 

Your voice was music to his ears; if he could, he would hone his wolf ears onto you for eternity. “What is it, l-lovie?” 

“I- I c-can’t- plea-se- please!” you begged, not knowing what for - but you wanted it, you wanted something.

Your wolf knew though. “I’ve got y-you… you can l-let go, lovie-” One of his hands left your hips to push on your belly, making you infinitely tighter. A mistake, or perfection?

The bubble burst in the next slam of his hips against your ass. You keened, arching your back, more tears escaping your eyes. You were afloat, mind unable to handle any other stimuli than what erupted from your core; your ears rang, stars burst behind your eyelids, your mouth hung open. 

A strange vibration reverberated through your body, then sharp heat inside of you, and a slight burn from being stretched. Your brain registered that that couldn’t be right, but you could not focus on anything at all.

Giyuu was in heaven, his knot locked inside of you, his seed filling you up, and you lost in pleasure. There was no better place to be than right where he was - inside you, around you, with you. You, you, you, only you. Your scent enveloped him in a heady atmosphere and his teeth ached with need to sink into your neck, your shoulder. He wanted to truly make you his own.

But he wouldn’t. He couldn't, not without your explicit consent.

He already felt like he'd preyed on you as is, not pulling out, using you like this… he needed to make it up to you somehow. 

He needed to show you he could be your forever partner, he needed to show you he could be your future.

He lowered your legs from his shoulders to cradle his waist instead, half-laying on you, soaking up your presence in the post-orgasmic bliss. It distantly occurred to him that his rut had not yet passed, the feverish heat still burning in his gut. He didn't even know how long he'd need to wait for his knot to deflate… before he needed to fuck you again, and again, and again.

"Are you okay?" Giyuu asked at last when the both of you caught your breaths.

You hummed in affirmation, sore all over, throat hoarse as if you'd been at a concert all night. Your arms loosely embraced him as you cooled down a little. "So… not human, huh?"

He flinched. "I have some explaining to do."

dividers made by the amazing @benkeibear

[pharawee]

I'm trying to catch up with all the BL news I missed (which apparently was quite a lot) so I thought I'd make a quick post about it to put my thoughts in order:

First up is the trailer for The Renovation, a two-episode series about a writer, Pee, who turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner Arthit into the plot for his new novel (which goes over about exactly as well as you might expect). This drops on 14 & 21 December on One31 (so no official inter release yet).

Then there's a teaser for Rearrange, a high school band BL with a time travel twist and a what looks to be a GL side couple. And apparently the bad boy bassist and the nerdy drummer get together too which is exactly how things should be.

Next up, Boxer the Series (which is not the same as Boxer in Heart - another BL that was quietly cancelled in pre-production) have announced their cast with some familiar faces: Time Obnithi (The Whisperer, Bad Guy My Boss), Team Tatchanon (Twins), David Matthew Roberts (The Hidden Moon), Beboy Nanthakorn (who hopefully finally escaped from 9NAA) & Guide Piyawat (will be in The Hell Guard).

2025 might finally be the year of Muay Thai BL. 🤞

I have no idea if Hidden is a BL but it stars Tong Thanayut (as Kris) and it will release on youtube on 3 December. The plot certainly sounds intriguing (and messy):

On the night of Ten's birthday party, Ten, Kris, Pheem, and Prao find out about someone hiring Korn to secretly take pictures of Pheem. To figure out the truth, Kris and Pheem decide to hire Korn to take pictures at Ten's birthday party.

Director Golf Tanwarin's next series Love Like a Bike will apparently be exactly that: lots of couples and lots of bikes - and I most definitely appreciate it.

The series will star Masu Junyangdikul (who's kind of a big deal but it's his first BL role afaik) and Tee Thanapon (2 Moons, Triage), Win Thanat and Danny Luciano (The Loyal Pin), and Ta Nannakun (Kinnporsche, DFF) and Nanon Ruangdet (I love how everyone just copied the hashtags and I had to go on a whole google journey to find out their names).

The series is set around Nueng, a psychiatrist (a psychiatrist? in my BL??), and Sailom, a student suffering from a fear of being touched (played by Masu & Tee).

And then finally there's Eyes on You, a co-production between Hong Kong and Thailand (but filmed in Bangkok with a Thai cast) whose pilot will be unveiled on 27 November.

The plot summary on MDL sounds amazing tbh:

Two years ago, Just abandoned his law studies and severed ties with Rule to uncover the truth behind his parents' murder. Two years later, Rule, now a lawyer and still haunted by Just's disappearance, finally tracks him down to a seedy Gogo Bar, only to find him embroiled in a deadly feud with the Kung gang. But Just isn't alone. The bar is a haven for those consumed by vengeance: Salt, the security guard who always has a bloody smell, the runaway teen Tiger, and Ice, the ruthless madam running sexual business for the gang. Each carries the scent of violence, a simmering powder keg waiting to explode. Are you ready to descend into their dark, bloody, and tear-soaked path to retribution?

And that's it - except for the ThamePo trailer which everyone but me has already watched (I'll get to it right after posting this).

[cinewhore]

The Only Exception

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x fem!reader

read extended cut here [x]

Word Count: 2.6k 

Warnings: mentions of drinking, toxic family dynamics, smut 18+ (groping, male receiving oral, penetration, unprotected sex, facial cumshot). fluff and some angst! 

A/N: girlies, the whore jumped out! Takes place during episode 6 season 2. Credit to the gif creator! I hope y’all enjoy it. 

Nothing ever goes smoothly with the Berzatto’s.

Why you thought this holiday dinner was going to be any different was beyond any rational comprehension.

Trying not to be a complete klutz and ruin the side dish you’ve been working on the entire day, you delicately balance it in your left hand while adjusting your scarf tighter around your neck with your right. Putting a pep in your step, you round the corner from where you parked, spotting the stoop instantly.

It was a rare sighting to see all three of the Berzatto siblings together. With Carmy being away at culinary school, Mikey doing his own thing with the restaurant and Natalie living her life, one person always missed the other. It warmed your heart to see just how much they cared about each other, even if they didn’t show it in a normal or healthy way.

“Is that who I think it is?” Mikey’s voice booms over the light traffic passing by, handing Carmy the cigarette he was puffing on.

You crack a smile, despite it feeling like your lips were stuck together due to the cold weather. “Sorry, I’m a bit late. Fuckin’ cat had my keys.”

“How many times did I tell you to get rid of the cat?” Mikey leans down to kiss you but you turn your head, forcing him to peck you on the cheek instead.

“C’mon, baby.” he drawls, throwing you a bashful smile.

You huff out a sigh, lowering your voice. “You know I hate the smoking.”

Mikey nods, face fading into something serious before vanishing. “I know you do. You didn’t bring fish, did you?”

Side-stepping the tall Berzatto, you get pulled into a hug by Natalie, followed by Carmen.

“Hello, gorgeous! It’s so good to see you!” Natalie kisses you on both cheeks before making the move to grab the dish out of your hands. You pull back, shooting her a look.

“Nat, please. I got it.”

“Are you sure?” you watch as her bottom lip quivers a bit. You steal a glance at Carmy, who just shakes his head.

“Fuck. How bad is it?” you gaze at the disheveled trio, awaiting an answer.

Finally, Mikey breaks the silence.

“It’s at a five. Six, at best.”

You lick your lips, rocking back and forth on your heels. “That’s not too bad, right?”

“Right.” Carmy agrees, with Natalie humming in agreement.

“Just don’t fucking ask if she’s doing ok.” Mikey glimpses at his sister, placing hand on your lower back to guide you into the house.

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose, plastering a smile on your face before entering the shit show.

You’d only been there an hour and you were called the wrong name three times, objectified, cursed at and now Fak was trying to get you to put up five hundred dollars for baseball cards.

Listening with great intent, nodding at all the right times and twirling the wine glass in your hands desperately wanting to get another refill had your social energy spent.

“We could make you a lot of money, cousin.” Fak goes on, nudging his brother for support.

“Yeah-yeah! Think about what you could do with fifteen hundred bucks! Cold hard cash!” the lookalike chimes in.

“Wow, no, yeah this-this sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime.” you murmur. Don’t take it the wrong way, you loved Fak. His personality was infectious, you’ve never seen him get overly angry despite the other guys giving him shit constantly and he genuinely goes out of his way to help everyone. Back when you first started dating Mikey and moved apartments in the city, Fak volunteered to make sure your place was in tiptoe shape and refused payment.

Just then Steve, Michelle’s husband, passes by and you seize your opportunity.

“Steve! How are you?” you beckon him over, scooting over on the tiny couch so he could sit beside you.

“Ah, yes. Mikey’s girl who we aren’t sure how he managed to snag. Good to see you again.”

You brush off his comment with a tired smile, gesturing to Fak and his brother. “So, these guys have a proposition for you, right?”

You nod enthusiastically with them, giving Fak a secret wink.

“Oh, yes! Yes! Do you like baseball cards, Steve?”

“On that note,” you stand up and maneuver yourself out the nook. “I’m gonna go get a refill. Leave you gentlemen to handle business.”

Mocking a military salute, you dash towards the kitchen bypassing other members of the family.

Donna flurries around the kitchen, shouting instructions to no one in particular. You didn’t greet her as soon as you came in, knowing how she gets around this time of the year. To be honest, you were sure that she didn’t exactly like you.

“Donna, my goodness! You look wonderful.” you lay the complement on sweetly, smiling brightly. If you don’t wilt in her presence, she wouldn’t be able to smell the fear on you.

Donna swivels her head to look at you, cigarette dangling from her lipstick smeared lips. Eyes lined in thick mascara, her disapproving expression ripples through you. You smile wider.

“I brought over a little casserole. I figured it would compliment the fish nicely.”

Shifting to face you fully, Donna crosses her arms. “Casserole? What casserole?”

You point to the tin foiled dish. “That one. Mikey brought in, did he not tell you?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, just like he told me about him breaking things off with what’s her name.”

“Anna.” you mutter, swallowing the lump that quietly made its way up your throat.

“Yeah, Anna.” Donna turns back to the task at hand, haphazardly swinging a knife about. “I liked her better.”

Forgoing your much desired glass of wine, you stalk out of the kitchen. On the outside looking in, the Berzatto’s appeared to be your average family. The warm glow of the lights shining out into the frost covered sidewalks invited you in all those years ago and once inside, you then realized why people were so hesitant to accept invites or why Mikey refused to bring up his past.

You didn’t have this growing up. Your family life was much quieter, mom and dad both kept to themselves. Distant cousins never visited for the holidays and you were an only child so there weren’t any siblings to fall back on.

It was boring.

Drove you crazy.

So when the Berzatto’s welcomed you in with open arms (well, some of them) you threw yourselves to the wolves willingly. It helped you grow a thick skin, talk over people and man handle the biggest guys in the room. For that, you were thankful.

A hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, dragging you away from everyone and up the stairs. Mikey is headstrong in his quest to get you alone, not caring to see if you were keeping up the pace. You both stagger inside his room, the door shut soundly behind you, followed by the lock turning.

Mikey doesn’t give you a second to react, mouth leaving open tongued kisses along your jaw and collarbone, hands working at tugging up your skirt.

“Mikey, baby, baby, wait-” you plead, backing up to create space between the two of you.

He flops onto the bed, hands on his knees, fingers raking through his hair again and again.

You’re careful as you sit next to him, scratching your own fingers along the center of his back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” is all he utters.

“Bullshit. Talk to me.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else, you get it. The party continues below you both, profanities and insults flying like it's nobody's business. It was too much. For Mikey, Camry, anyone. The more time you spent with his family, the more you realized why Carmen never came back to visit. Why Michelle skipped out of town and up to New York. Anything to keep the family an arms distance away. 

Why Mikey feels trapped.

“I know.” you whisper against his shoulder, mouth pressing in tiny kisses. You lift his head up with both of your hands, cradling his face gingerly. The tiredness exudes for nearly every crevice, eye bags worn and solidified. You use your thumb to smooth out his forehead, laughing softly when he wrinkles it more.

“You’ll always have me, Berzatto.”

“I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

You tut. “That’s not true. You’ve always had me. From the moment you sold me that greasy, sloppy sandwich down at The Beef. I was a goner.”

Mikey chuckles, leaning into your hands more. “I got you something.”

Your eyes go wide, brows forming a skeptical look. “Is that so?”

Mikey flickers his eyes down to his pants and you scoff.

“Wow, Michael. Are you gifting me your penis? Again? I must’ve been too nice this year.” you gently slap his face in mock anger.

“Haha,” he deadpans. “Try my pockets, detective wiseass.”

You let go of his face and rummage through his pants pocket, producing a ball of torn tissue paper, kept together by a single piece of tape. Confused but curious, you unwrap the gift, facing dropping as your eyes find his.

The tissue tumbles to the ground, revealing a necklace. At the bottom of it dangled a charm of…cheese?

“I remember the first day you came into the shop. Like a goddamn bat outta hell. Never seen anything like it. You ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and asked for, um, what was it?”

“Havarti-”

That’s right! Fuckin’ havarti cheese! What the hell even is that?”

“How do you own a sandwich shop and not provide a variety of cheeses, I don’t understand it.”

Mikey gawks at you. “Babe, we’re called The Beef. Not the cheese. But you wanna know what I did?”

You encourage him to finish, as if you didn’t know the rest of the story.

“I told you to wait and-and I was gonna go check in the back. I booked it out of the back door, all the way down to Malik’s corner store and bought the most expensive cheese he had. I rush back to the shop and guess what?”

“You made the sandwich.”

Mikey’s face cracks into the biggest grin you’d ever seen, eyes crinkled at the corners. “I made the goddamn sandwich. Brought it out to you myself. Told you that we didn’t serve grilled cheese but for you, I’d make an exception.”

Your eyes well over in tears and you blink rapidly to keep them from falling. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, ya know.”

“You’re telling me all I had to do was buy you some cheese to get in your pants? Hot damn.”

You playfully shove Mikey back against the bed, crawling over to straddle him. “Well, it worked after a while, didn’t it?”

Mikey thrusts upwards, growing erection sliding against your damp underwear.

“It sure did.”

He grabs the back of your neck, surging up to slot his mouth against yours. You aren’t delicate in the way you claw at him, nails digging into his tanned flesh. Pushing up your skirt, Mikey palms your ass, stroking it before landing a hard smack against it. You moan into his neck, biting down.

“Perkiest ass I’ve ever seen, baby, shit.” Mikey groans, voice an octave deeper.

“And it’s yours. All yours.”

Mikey secures the back of your head as he flips the two of you over, pushing you down on your stomach. You do the rest of the work for him, sticking your ass up, and curving your back into an arch.

Mikey readily pulls down the zipper of his pants, hands readjusting his briefs until he is able to free himself. Spitting obscenely in his palm, Mikey shoves your panties to the side and rubs his saliva across your slickness. You buck back into him, whimpering when he graces you with a lone finger to loosen you up. You whine and wiggle your ass some more, ready to receive all that he was going to give you.

“Gonna give my baby what she wants, don’t you worry.” Mikey purrs, aligning himself to enter you. He slides in easily, the strained sigh as he fully situates him inside you never ceasing to make you wetter.

You pull yourself up so that you were resting on your hands, peeking over your shoulder to catch a gaze at Mikey as you begin to fuck him. He was enthralled at the sight of his cock pumping in and out of you, the way you were able to handle him without saying a single word.

He would love to take his time and thoroughly explore your cunt but time is of the essence. Wrapping his right hand around your neck once again, he yanks you up into a deeper arch, left hand on your hip in a deathgrip. He meets your thrusts with his own, dropping his left leg down on the floor to gain some balance.

Between the familial bickering creeping up the stairs, all that could be heard was the squelching of your pussy and the labored breathing of Mikey, muffled praises spurring you on further.

He slaps your ass again and you tighten around him, eyes rolling to the top of your head as you attempt to hold onto his arms for dear life.

“Mikey, oh fucking god, baby you’re gonna make me come so hard. Please, please, please!”

He answers you by sticking his fingers in your mouth and you automatically clamp down on them, sucking and gagging until spit dribbles down the side of your mouth.

Mikey picks up speed and the coil inside you breaks as you reach your peak, legs stiffening as you rear back against Mikey. He continues to fuck you, albeit at a slower tempo, humming as you spasm against him.

“That’s my girl, my favorite fucking girl. Where do you want mine, huh? Tell me where you want it.”

He removes his fingers and lets them trail down to tease and pick at your hardened nipples that now poke through your shirt.

“I wanna taste. Want it in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” Mikey lets you go and you catch yourself before you fall completely face first into the bed.

“Get on your knees, now.”

You do as you're told, scurrying to position yourself on your knees in front of Mikey. Mouth open and head tilted back, you let a hand caress your breast as the other slithers up his thigh.

Mikey is affectionate as he goes to grab the back of your head, other hand tirelessly stroking his cock. A vein pops out of forehead as he grunts, a few milky droplets coating your face, before steady ropes accompany it. A few of them land in your mouth and you swallow it all eagerly.

Mikey tries to calm his breathing, watching you with hooded eyes as you lick at the tip of his cock, cleaning up the remnants of yourself off of him. You take him down all the way to the shaft for shits and giggles, pulling off of him with a low pop.

“Goddamn devil.”

You wink, swiping at the mess you could feel dripping on your face. Mikey helps to clean you up, both fixing each other’s clothes to appear less wrinkled. Seemingly ok with your appearance, you start to head downstairs but Mikey stops you.

He steps behind you, lifting up the necklace he got you. He fastens it, walking to your front to admire it.

You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth for a kiss.

“It’s you and me, Berzatto.”

“You and me.”

Exhaling heavily, you open the door to reenter the Berzatto family chaos, a new found confidence lighting your path.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Steve and Chrissy as two internet-famous chefs/bakers, Steve with a channel focusing on (not always) easy homemade and nutritious meals, Chrissy with a baking channel full of body positivity to spite her mom.

They both get invited to something like Phoning It In from the Try Guys - a baking/cooking competition where they have to guide the actual chefs only through a pay phone. As the TG's show says: "the mind of a chef paired with the hands of an idiot". And the idiots in question are their best friends - Robin and Eddie. Which shouldn't be that bad, but then...they actually have to swap them. And they can't tell them what they're making.

It's a holiday episode so the theme is gingerbread.

Steve is slumped in the phone booth, sometimes covering the receiver and asking Chrisy why, why would her best friend refuse to measure ingredients in anything more precise than "a bit", "a bit more", "kinda enough", "oooh might be a bit too much" and "a fuckton".

Chrissy tries very hard to explain to Robin that artistic expression is an amazing thing, but hot sauce and gingerbread might be too artistic for the judges. Robin disagrees. Chrissy pleads with her and eventually talks Robin into just including some chilli flakes in her batter and not the hot sauce as a topping.

Eddie spends half of the prep time complaining to Steve that a gingerbread house is lame, it should have been a gingerbread castle. Robin agrees.

Robin deciding to give her tiny gingerbread men flannel shirts and spending way too much on decorating them. She runs out of time very soon and just writes "THIS IS FLANEL" into a shirt-shaped blob.

Steve and Eddie shamelessly flirting despite having never met each other and then threatening violence in equal measure to get the other one do what they want. "I bet your eyes are more beautiful than the entire sky full of stars Stevie, also I might have dropped one extra spoon of spices into the gloopy thingy and I don't want to get my hands more dirty than they are so I'll just leave it in-" "Eds, you vile seductress, your voice could charm many a seaman but if you don't get that spicy glob out of the batter I swear I will shave your head."

Robin somehow going from following the instructions into a full rambling mode and before they know it, she's just cutting hipster-shaped gingerbread flanelmen and telling Chrissy nearly her full life story, basically turning the prep into a therapy session. Chrissy listens and nods and just sometimes interjects with "people can be such jerks just because you're different, can you just quickly check that the temperature is still the same? Thank you Robs, now back to that asshole in your uni class-"

In the end, they finally meet at the judging table and present their work, bullshitting their way through explanations of many choices that were made (because the two actual chefs are not permitted to speak, only the great minds).

Steve almost sobs when he sees piped (and very melted) bats on toothpicks around the gingerbread castle, because of course Eddie made a castle. "I meant for that to happen, for the shock value" he announces when one of the bats starts a domino effect and knocks down the rest.

Chrissy's smile gets a little bit stiff when she sees attempted man buns on the gingerbread men's heads - ones which have unfortunately melted and they now have flowing ponytails. Slightly burned.

Steve confidently claims that the reason why his gingerbread house is black and has spires is because his little brother adores Dungeons and Dragons and he wanted to give him a cool prop for the final encounter with the big evil. When the castle crumbles because Eddie didn't bake it long enough, Steve just dramatically stands up and announces that the evil warlock has been defeated. Eddie almost faints behind the screen and unceremoniously asks Robin if that gem of a man is taken.

Chrissy explains how the gingerbread men are wearing flanel in honor of her best friend's uncle who is the flanel overlord. When the judges bite into the figures and taste the chilli flakes, Chrissy earnestly tells them that Eddie's uncle is a man with hidden depths and spicy personality (Eddie chokes on his own tongue at that) and Robin was kind enough to reflect that.

In the end, it doesn't matter who won. Eddie asks Steve (after he tastes the gingerbread bat, gingerbat) if he's still about to shave his head and Steve says it would be a shame, but he can make it up to him by inviting him for coffee. Robin awkwardly thanks Chrissy for listening to her and Chrissy admits she loved her rambling, that she hates it when it's quiet.

It all ends well (except for the gingerbread).

[inamindfarfaraway]

Evidence that Hazel Wells is autistic:

She loves routine, needs it to feel secure and adjusts poorly to changes from what she knows and her plan, e.g. her stress from moving to a new city and school, struggling to form bonds with her classmates and not having her promised talk with Anthony driving her to run away and be miserable enough to qualify for fairy godparents; wanting to replicate her relationship with her brother with Jasmine; learning how to deal with them both having evolved when he visits; her gut instinct itself says that a tour meticulously structured in advance is her dream holiday and urges her to follow her godparents’ offered one of Fairy World

She has special interests in geology, horror movies, dinosaurs and Prime Meridian Love (and hats?), not just loving them intensely and expressing that through learning and sharing intimate knowledge of them, but using them to understand and navigate relationships, e.g. wanting to watch horror films with Jasmine because that’s her definition of a bonding activity from her routine with Antony; inviting her friends to a book club reading her manga as another bonding activity; wishing Kenueth to life to do a romantic-coded activity; naming her rocks, drawing faces on them and talking to them, possibly originating in a history of having few friends

Her fairies’ default object disguise form is a pair of fidget tools and their entire purpose is to give her what she wants

She frequently feels anxious and overthinks things, especially regarding social interaction, e.g. her fear of Anthony forgetting about her while he’s away; getting overwhelmed by her peers in the cafeteria in “Teacher’s Pal”, fleeing and needing to steel herself simply to enter it at the end of the episode, not even planning to talk to anyone; being desperate to impress Winn and worrying that her home is inadequate for her standards, on a basis of nothing Winn has done; worrying that her geology presentation will be inadequate and wishing for a special stone; choosing to undergo countless time loops to try to avoid any embarrassment; worrying that an online quiz invalidates her close friendships

She nonetheless is said to be “mature” for her age in both “Fly” and “Teacher’s Pal” by Angela and herself

She has extremely high empathy despite not always easily understanding people, e.g. wishing to understand Dev; making selfless wishes on Founder’s Day whenever she sees unhappy kids; enabling Winn to experience their own interest in Patty Possum’s Party Playground the way they want and then empathizing with Patty about fearing abandonment and still loving people when they’re not around; continuing to be kind to Dev at the Dimmsonian and in “Best of Luck” after he twice reverts back to selfishness and malice and believes their friendship to be over; wishing for Marcus to get to be on a paranormal investigation TV show

She has a strong sense of justice, e.g. being so affected by learning about pollution that she starts a local environmentalist movement; vehemently opposing Dale’s corruption; rallying her friends to stand up to Vicky; angrily lashing out at Dev when she thinks or learns that he’s betrayed her

She can take things too literally or lack theory of mind, e.g. getting offended by Jasmine saying that she could dance alone “near” her partnered friends and holding that grudge for most of the episode; jumping to the conclusions that Dev is insulting her when he calls her “anomaly” and he was willingly, knowingly helping his father be evil; leaving him alone when he orders her to on his birthday rather than questioning if what he says he wants is what he actually wants or needs, since he’s clearly distraught and she knows that his issues revolve around abandonment, neglect and loneliness

She can disregard social norms when consumed by passion, e.g. interrupting the museum guide to share her own knowledge of dinosaurs and grabbing his microphone; infodumping about the plot of her manga in detail after Jasmine tells her not to; stealing Guzman’s hat just because she likes it so much

She has emotional breakdowns that lead to drastic, bad decisions and could be read as meltdowns, e.g. packing a suitcase and running away; remorsefully attempting to sacrifice her life to restore potatoes to Earth

She loves official documents and finds the Department of Motor Vehicles relaxing for its rigid structure and monotony

She samefoods with chips/fries and other potato products, so passionate about them as to mention them when introducing herself to her classmates and have a whole episode dedicated to her wanting to eat only them; this is a notable choice because chips have a mild, neutral base flavour, are often standardized by producers like restaurant chains and served with the same condiments, making their eating experience predictable (and she isn’t shamed for being a ‘picky eater’! Her parents and Mother Nature say that it’s wonderful that she finds so much joy in potatoes and gently convince her to give her body what else it needs too)

She also hates trail mix for being “chaotic” with all its different flavours mixed together, and firmly prefers oatmeal cookies to normal cookies

Autism is genetic and her father likewise exhibits several autistic traits

She considers Jasmine casually striking up a conversation with a stranger and singing in public without self-consciousness to make her courageous, no matter what other fears she has

She continues to think of herself as “the new kid” for a good few months post-move and feels the internal need to prove her belonging in Dimmadelphia on Founder’s Day

She can’t comprehend how and why arbitrary, pointless social rivalries like the one between the band and orchestra groups exist

She repeatedly wishes for fantastical roleplaying adventures with her godparents, which give her excitement without stress or loss of control, as the stakes aren’t real and she always wins in the end (the “plot twist” we see Wanda add is the return of a villain from a previous adventure, still drawing on comfortable familiarity)

She has no interest in seeing more of Fairy World until Dev brings it up, strange for such a curious girl who adores her fairies - maybe out of aversion to an unknown, unpredictable setting?

When surrounded by clones of herself and asked to raise her hand if she’s real, she hesitates because she isn’t sure and doesn’t want to “deprive the real Hazel of being herself”, demonstrating high empathy, self-doubt and existential overthinking all at once; Wanda says, “Only the real Hazel would overthink whether she was real or not!”

I’m autistic and I relate to her enough to know

[hunne-writes]

It's almost Turkey Day!

🧡 Thanksgiving Episode Guide 💛

Bob's Burgers (Hulu): S3 E5 - "An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal" S4 E5 - "Turkey in a Can" S5 E4 - "Dawn of the Peck" S6 E4 - "Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled" S7 E6 - "The Quirk-ducers" S8 E5 - "Thanks-hoarding" S9 E7 - "I Bob Your Pardon" S10 E8 - "Now We’re Not Cooking with Gas" S11 E7 - "Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid"

How I Met Your Mother (Hulu): S1 E9 - "Belly Full of Turkey" S3 E9 - "Slapsgiving" S5 E9 - "Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap" S6 E10 - "Blitzgiving" S7 E11 - "The Rebound Girl"

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Hulu): S9 E10 - "The Gang Squashes Their Beefs"

Modern Family (Hulu): S3 E9 - "Punkin Chunkin" S6 E8 - "Three Turkeys" S7 E7 - "Phil’s Sexy, Sexy House" S8 E7 - "Thanksgiving Jamboree" S9 E7 - "Winner Winner Turkey Dinner" S10 E7 - "Did the Chicken Cross the Road?" S11 E7 - "The Last Thanksgiving"

Rick and Morty (Hulu): S5 E6 - "Rick and Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular" S6 E3 - "Bethic Twinstinct"

Schitt's Creek (Hulu): S1 E7 - "Turkey Shoot"

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Hulu): S1 E12 - "Talking Turkey" S6 E9 - "here's the Rub (Part 1)" S6 E10 - "There's the Rub (Part 2)"

This is Us (Hulu): S1 E8 - "Pilgrim Rick" S2 E10 - "Number Three" S3 E8 - "Six Thanksgivings" S4 E9 - "So Long, Marianne" S6 E7 - "Taboo"

Friends (HBO Max): S1 E9 - "The One Where Underdog Gets Away" S2 E8 - "The One With the List" S3 E9 - "The One with the Football" S4 E8 - "The One With Chandler in a Box" S5 E8 - "The One With All the Thanksgivings" S6 E9 - "The One Where Ross Got High" S7 E8 - "The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs" S8 E9 - "The One With the Rumor" S9 E8 - "The One With Rachel’s Other Sister" S10 E8 - "The One With the Late Thanksgiving"

Gossip Girl (HBO Max): S1 E9 - "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" S2 E11 - "The Magnificent Archibalds" S3 E11 - "The Treasure of Serena Madre" S4 E10 - "Gaslit" S6 E8 - "It’s Really Complicated"

Succession (HBO Max): S1 E5 - "I Went to Market"

Friday Night Lights (Netflix): S4 E13 - "Thanksgiving"

Gilmore Girls (Netflix): S3 E9 - "A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving" S6 E10 - "He's Slippin 'em Bread...Dig"

New Girl (Netflix): S1 E6 - "Thanksgiving" S2 E8 - "Parents" S3 E10 - "Thanksgiving III" S4 E9 - "Thanksgiving IV" S6 E7 - "Last Thanksgiving"

That 70's Show (Peacock): S1 E9 - "Thanksgiving" S5 E8 - "Thank You"

[letmereadinpeace4]

Love Sea episode 1 Commentary

So yesterday the first episode of Love Sea was released. After watching it, I decided to put down my thoughts and impressions. Hopefully I can keep it up until the end of the drama.

First, a few things:

I have bought and read the Love Sea novel. I will try my best not to spoil anything, but this knowledge informs my perception and my commentary. I have also read Love Sand, which chronologically happens before Love Sea, and I will spoil minor plot points if I think they can help understand elements in the drama.

There will be no Mame hate in this post, or in any other posts.

With that out of the way, let’s start:

The drama opens by separately introducing the main characters. Masahamut is diving, checking and noting damages, while Tongrak is on his way to the island, wearing the most impractical travel outfit he could have possibly worn. We learn that his stay on the island was booked by Connor Warrington, a close friend of his.

The character introduction is pretty well done. Masahamut is set up as a character who deeply cares about the well-being of the island he lives on. He is shown interacting with his friend Palm (they are not biologically related, they are senior/junior) and we get an impression of someone who communicates well with others and has a joking, playful side to him. Meanwhile, Tongrak is shown alone, even as he talks with Connor, we do not hear his replies, so we get the sense of someone cut off from other people. His outfit is also very fancy, showing his financial comfort, but also wildly impractical, showing that he is not very down to earth.

To explain who the characters are in the Mame universe, Masahamut is the best friend of Khom, who is Type’s childhood friend (from Tharntype). Khom is dating Connor, who is close friend with Tongrak. Tongrak is also a novelist, and his novels have been adapted by the movie director Aphros, who is Prapai’s uncle and the director who inspired Sky after his breakdown (not going to lie, with all those connections, I am low-key surprised that the closest we ever got to incest was Tum and Tar’s relationship).

At the docks, Tongrak is not exactly impressed with the place he will be staying at. We have it confirmed that Connor booked his stay because Tongrak’s next novel will be about the ocean (Connor my beloved I love you so much you asshole). Masahamut meets Tongrak at the docks and decide to piss him off by speaking in a Southern accent and not driving an appropriate vehicle to transport his suitcases. After Tongrak blows a fuse, Masahamut cuts him off and borrows a cargo tricycle.

This develops the characters a bit further. Tongrak shows a rather childish side and a lack of control over his emotions, while Masahamut’s confidence and capacity to adapt is set up. We also see more of his playful, “troll” side. I also like how his popularity on the island is subtly shown by having him borrow a bike from someone with no issue whatsoever. People trust him!

Tongrak immediately calls Connor to complain and demands to go home, further showing his childish, needy side. We get to hear Connor, who is mostly amused. Meanwhile, Masahamut unloads Tongrak’s suitcases with an amused expression and grabs the phone to chat up with Connor.

For more explanation about Connor and Masahamut’s relationship, they met when Connor stayed at the island for the holiday. He met Khom, who was working as Masahamut’s assistant and as Connor’s guide, and Masahamut helped Connor in his pursuit of Khom (in exchange for monetary compensation. Truly a win/win situation for everyone involved).

I love how entertained Masahamut is with Tongrak’s prissiness. He doesn’t care or take it personally, just rolls with it and takes advantage of it to troll him.

Masahamut escorts Tongrak to his room, who immediately pushes him out and ignore his offer to be at his disposal if he needs anything.

Sidenote, but I love Tongrak raging against the suitcase and later at the blankets. It is so cute, childish and relatable at the same time. I have definitely “scolded” a zipper because it wouldn’t open or the printer because it had issues.

We cut to Mook, Tongrak’s assistant/secretary, who is looking very busy and overworked. She is so far the most relatable character in the drama for me, down with the messy hair. She is called by Vi, Tongrak’s best friend, who promises to keep her busy. I love her, she is such a troll! Also a cameo appearance by Ja, which is definitely great to see! Hope he’s been well!

We cut back to Tongrak as he goes to a bar, wearing a really awesome sheer shirt and enjoying the attention he gets. Palm is his waiter, and immediately start hyping up Masahamut. We get confirmation that Masahamut is really popular both with the residents and with the tourists. We also learn that he is bi, which is great! We always love to see bi representation.

Tongrak seems pissed both at the fact that Masahamut is popular and by the fact that people would assume he is attracted to him, which he is definitely not! One hundred percent not! Not a trace of attraction here! Who cares if Masahamut is handsome anyway? Not him that’s who! And his sulking has nothing to do with it.

Next morning, we get to see how much Masahamut is involved in his community. While it may seem a bit heavy-handed, I do like that this aspect of Masahamut is so strongly enforced. It gives him a lot more depth and shows his maturity.

This mature impression is immediately countered when we see that he has a double of Tongrak’s keys and didn’t tell him. He immediately takes on the caretaker role and as he cleans up the room, we learn that Connor paid Masahamut to serve as Tongrak’s caretaker/nanny/guide/sitter during his time on the island. Is it like some kind of gift reciprocity? Masahamut helped Connor date his best friend so Connor helps Masahamut get with his own friend? I also really like the comparison of Tongrak to a cat. It suits him so well. We also have it mentioned again that Tongrak is very lonely (initially, Connor filled that loneliness void, but once he started dating Khom, he could no longer give as much attention to Rak as he used to, hence why he is trying to find a solution.)

Connor wakes Tongrak up. Not going to lie I would punch him! Do not bother me before I had my tea and breakfast! As he tries to punch him Tongrak falls on the ground, giving Masahamut a perfect view of his body.

The “seduction” scene is really well-done. You can see the switch as Tongrak finds himself in a more familiar territory and tries to seduce Masahamut by removing his robe/shirt. He really seems to enjoy having power over Masahamut, especially since the latter has annoyed him so much. However while Masahamut is admirative, he does not lose his head and starts commenting on Tongrak’s lack of body hair. You can really see the switch back as Tongrak loses his confidence. Peat acted really well in that scene!

I love how offended Tongrak is by Masahamut’s lack of sexual interest. Poor kitty got his pride hurt! Speaking of which I also love how Masahamut speaks of Tongrak like a kitty he is taking care of.

Tongrak tries to provoke Masahamut by constantly asking for a different breakfast and being picky, to no success. I always enjoy seeing Tongrak’s bratty side, especially when his brattiness doesn’t work.

Masahamut is such a troll! I love him already!

Meanwhile, Tongrak has found out a way to get Masahamut to do what he wants (to some extent). He pays him to get him to speak in a Central dialect. It really sets well the economic difference between them. Tongrak has money to burn and Masahamut will do anything for money. I love how much he doesn’t care about being bought and getting money from his clients. Masahamut is there singing “Material Girl” and doesn’t care about what anyone thinks!

I love it any time Tongrak’s more vain side is shown. The way he jumps when Masahamut mentions wrinkles. Also he is supposed to be in his late twenties/early thirties.

Masahamut offers his sexual services and can obviously see that Tongrak is more interested than he lets on. “Even if you were the last man on Earth, I still wouldn’t want you”. Oh hey! I heard a cool girl named Elizabeth Bennet say the exact same thing. I wonder what happened to her….

We cut back to Mook rehearsing her speech to Vi to not have to work as her assistant. By the way I love her shirt! As she dares Vi to call her, she answers her prayers and does so! We get to see that Mook has an itemized list of how to deal with Vi! That is some thoroughness! Anyway Vi claims a light bulb in her room is busted and that Mook needs to come and change it. I see Vi subscribes to the “pulling her hair” strategy in courtship. Meanwhile Mook is getting more and more erratic and her faces are amazing! She looks offended, outraged and confused at the same time. Also I love how messy her hair is.

“I’m a frail lead actress who can’t do anything on her own” as she sits on the ladder she used to bust her own light bub to get her crush to come to her place! I love Vi she’s such a troll! Also does she have Mook’s picture? I can’t really see well.

In his room, Tongrak is having trouble writing the sex scene and we learn he needs to have sex or to hug someone to properly write sex scenes. It really is interesting that Tongrak needs an intense physical situation to describe a romantic sex scene, because it suggests that he cannot conceptualize the intensity of the emotions involved unless he experiences a “similar”, physical sensation. It really goes with him being lonely but also suggests he never truly offered his heart to anyone.

The next day, Tongrak is working on his novel, looking extremely cute with his round glasses, while Masahamut is waiting. He soon gets bored and starts reading what Tongrak is writing. I wonder if the sex scene he reads out is a random scene that was written especially for this or if it was taken from another of Mame’s novels. I cannot place it.

Anyway Masahamut is bored of it and takes Tongrak on a boat to show him around. I love how Masahamut gently scolds Tongrak and tells him to sit properly so that he doesn’t fall, causing Tongrak to sulk. It sets up their future dynamic. Also Masahamut don’t scold the kitty! He’s a city kitty and has never been on the sea before.

Tongrak is called by Mook and doesn’t hear her well. Yeah in the middle of the sea it is a lost cause. Masahamut decides to take a dive while Tongrak is on the phone, causing him to panic. I actually agree with Tongrak here! For safety reasons Masahamut should have warned him.

Tongrak freaks out and starts crying. Masahamut tries to reassure him by poiting out that he’s fine but is unsuccessful. I love how he takes the freak out seriously and only reaches to touch him after Tongrak has been unresponsive. Tongrak scolds him and Masahamut reaches out to hug him and apologize. I love the light little kiss on the forehead and how Tongrak slowly accepts Masahamut’s hug.

Afterwards, Tongrak is embarrassed about his crying episode (don’t worry baby it happens to the best of us) and plays the shy Victorian maiden when Masahamut moves to remove his shirt as if he didn’t wear a sheer shirt in public two days before. Masahamut offers to show him the good stuff, and just like Tongrak I was not thinking of clams when he said that! Again, I love how confident Masahamut is! He is aware of his charm and sees well the effect he has on Tongrak. The episode ends with them still on the roof of the boat.

Overall I really enjoyed this episode. It was a good set up for the characters and I love the atmosphere they created. I look forward to seeing more of it.

[shaylogic]

DBDA Season 2 Wishlist Part 3

another anthropomorphized animal love interest or two for Edwin

deep Cat King lore and maybe even a whole Case on him. are there other cat kings in other towns? when he loses his last life, does another random cat become king and know how to shapeshift suddenly?

both Tragic Mick and Cat King are directly involved in helping Niko get back

Cat King's next crush is Niko but he takes a softer, sweeter approach to it. He learned from Edwin's conversation with him at the end of season 1, and Niko's recovering from being dead(?). Maybe he guides her through whatever shared supernatural experience he and she may have

Halloween episode

I know they wanna do a winter holiday special, which I'm sure could be very fluffy. But in the comics, at least, the winter holidays is also exactly when Charles died, so we could have some angsty hurt/comfort about how different this year with friends is

Child actors hired to portray younger flashbacks for our core four (Niko, Crystal, Charles, Edwin) in their living childhoods with their families of the past

More on Tragic Mick's involvement with supernatural goings-on... where do all the items in his shop come from? Is he a trans-dimensional being, and how? (He is in the comics). What's his deal with neutrally providing items to the heroes and villains alike?

Full blown Kashi episode/case

Another love interest for Crystal as other relationships are shifting around?

Adaptation of Crystal's comic story of losing a friend (Rosa) to a spirit in the Neitherlands (probably proxies onto Niko in the show)

Live Girl Detectives on their own case without the boys (like we got a bit of in s1e8)

Animal companion/pet for the office. The actors said in an interview they'd love that (could just be Monty tbh)

Dream sequences for our protags that have nods to The Dreaming and may even have a glimpse of Morpheus in it backround

Jenny is swayed by a cute and badass Londener to give dating another shot

While traveling through a mirror, it shatters/cracks, and one of our ghosts gets stuck!! (Also a comic event)

The gang is able to interrogate more information about how the afterlife works from the Night Nurse

Feel free to add your own wishlist in the reblogs/comments! <3

[puppys-tiny-space]

🎄A littles Christmas guide🎄

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays but I also struggle a lot around that time of year so I like to make it extra special This is some stuff I like to do to get into the festive spirit! Dont be shy to change things up to accomidate your disability needs!

🎀craft ornaments, I like to craft ornaments for the tree and decorating my apartment, you can do it with paper, ribbons, glitter, clay and so much more🎀

⛄bake cookies, me and my mother bake cookies every year, wether it be sugar cookies, almond cookies or anything else, we also like to make traditional german christmas cakes⛄

🎅🏿go to christmas markets, in Germany we have lots of amazing Christmas markets with yummy food, pretty products and fun rides, I like to visit them when I can afford to🎅🏿

🎄warm drinks and movies, each year me and my mom have yummy drinks like hot cocoa and watch dr.who, especially the christmas episodes, we get lots of blankets and cuddle up🎄

🎀go for a walk, me and my carer like to go for walks in the snow in a close by park or forest when my joints let me, everything looks so pretty and you can build snow creatures🎀

⛄play secret Santa, I like to play secret Santa with my friends, it's so much fun to make and get silly presents, in Germany it's called Wichteln which means elves hehe⛄

🎅🏿wrap presents and have tea, I like to have tea and watch Christmas movies or call with my friends while wrapping gifts, this year I was live on Instagram and had suele fun talks with sun of you all🎅🏿

🎄go ice skating, I don't do this every year but I love ice skating, dressing up all cute and having hit cocoa after it, I can't wait to go again this year with my daddy🎄

Fun fact of the day: you do not sneeze in your sleep

[theology101]

Literally in the first episode of Fantasy High, I watched an arguement that I had several times with my conservative uncles. It boils down to “According to the main message of your faith, our Divinity accepts everyone who is good of heart and kind - hating people for any reason is antithetical.” Kristen was arguing positive points using her faith as a guide

Which like - im not a christian or religious anymore (raised southern baptists and decided that if God exists he’s cruel) but the immediate writing off of everyone who’s part of a Main Stream Religion as Problematic really pisses me off, ya know?

Like sure, Wolfsong has waterslides and snowball fight and a lot of entertainement during a major holiday and then everyone is trying to figure out how they’re evil ehen they’re just having fun. Hey, my former church (Prestonwood Baptist Church and Benttree Community church in Dallas Texas) i have met so may deeply devout and scripture oriented people who are so incredibly loving and giving that they are leagues above anyone else I know, and for Good Friday they still had a wayer slide cause that shit is fun. Some of the most hateful people I know ALSO use religion as an excuse.

I get that organized Religion can house a lot of hate and evil (im writing my thesis on American Fascism and evangelical faith is a big part) but so many people who are Religious are just good people? Like the basic morals of the Torah+Talmund, the Bible and the Qur’an are really positive? Half the catholic church is socialist?

It just speaks to the religious illiteracy in America. Helio isn’t bad - the racist worshippers who through ‘as above so below’ influence their god ARE bad. Brennan says the Harvestmen are a fringe Minority - newsflash, the KKK is a christian group and the majority of christians reject them and find their message to be a spit in the face to Jesus. Why would it be different in Fantasy High if its supposed to be a commentary? I think Helio chose Kristen because he wanted her to free him from the racist status quo (he was giving her spells for all of freshman year supporting her against Sol up until Spring break if not beyond)

[hawkeyejrhuntress]

Bishova Holiday Challenge 2024 - Rules and Prompt Ideas!

Background History:

On November 24 it will be three years since Marvel brought the Hawkeye series to the little screen. 6 episodes and 5 weeks of getting to know Kate Bishop with a hint of Yelena Belova. Despite having less than 45 minutes of screen time their chemistry was explosive. Since then, amazing fanfiction writers around the world have created amazing stories about these two. So, with the anniversary of the show coming up, I decided to bring back the Bishova Holiday Challenge.

Thank You:

After a month of voting the Bishova Community has spoken. Below you will find the 5 top themes/prompt ideas. We had 728 votes, which is crazy. I want to thank all the writers, and fans who voted. I want to thank Oh Alpha My alpha discord friends. Who voted and came up with some of the ideas. The remaining prompts that did not win will be reposted just as prompt ideas for the public.

Rules:

This year the challenge will be 6 weeks with the last week being the writers’ choice.

These prompts will have mini-ideas attached to them but you do not have to follow them to tea, just stick to the general theme.

The stories must be posted on A03. Use #BISHOVAHOLIDAYCHALLENGE2024 & Week # for which week was written for

Only can be 1-3 chapters long while the challenge is up. After the challenge if you want to continue them, please do.

You can prewrite your stories and co-write them with others. But they cannot be published before the challenge.

It is encouraged that you participate in all 6 weeks to be eligible for the prize but if you can’t it’s all good.

Also to be considered for the top Grand winners you can’t miss a week. So if you miss week 1, you can still participated and try to be a weekly winner but you will not be eligible for the Grand Prize over the whole challenge.

Challenge Weeks:

Week 1: Nov 10th – Nov 16th

Week 2: Nov 17th – Nov 23rd

Week 3: Nov 24th – Nov 30th  

Week 4: Dec 1st – Dec 7th

Week 5: Dec 8th – Dec 14th

Week 6: 16th – Dec 21st

Prizes:

There will be 6 weekly winners. After each week I will create a poll with the stories that qualified, and readers can pick the winner. The winners get bragging rights. 

After all, 6 weeks are done the writers who participated in all 6 weeks and followed the rules will be entered on a poll to qualify as the top 3 winners of the WHOLE CHALLENGE, voted on by the fans.

It is not completely finalized, and it can still fall through but right now I am working on getting art pieces for the top three winners. 

Prompts/Ideas:

Week 1: Nov 10th – Nov 16th - Grinchmas (Idea Credit – Chi_Raven) (Suggested Rating – G) Yelena gets a part time gig as a mall Grinch. She does it too well and ends up on Kate Bishop’s Naughty list daughter of Santa Clause or Yelena dresses up as the Grinch and runs around scaring kids.

Week 2: Nov 17th – Nov 23rd – Fake Dating Winter Love – (Idea Credit MidnightJuilet) (Suggested Rating G-E) Yelena created a fake girlfriend to attend her ex’s winter wedding. Enter Kate Bishop!

Week 3: Nov 24th – Nov 30th -Eggnog Love – (Idea Credit MidnightJuilet) (Suggested Rating E) The villain of the week spikes the eggnog at the Holiday Party with liquid sex pollen. Freakiness ensues!

Week 4: Dec 1st – Dec 7th- Lumberjack Christmas - (Idea Credit MidnightJuilet) (Suggested Rating G - E) Kate goes to the mountains to get away and meets her mountain woman!

Week 5: Dec 8th – Dec 14th -Winter Blaze Saved by the Sexy firefighter (Idea Credit CelticKitten25 & DYL) (Suggested Rating G - E) Yelena wakes up to her apartment on fire out of nowhere a short buff fire fighter comes in with her one-eyed dog to rescue her and her akita. And she is only wearing a nightie.

Week 6: 16th – Dec 21st – Writer’s Choice

Above are the 5 prompt ideas and remember the 6th week is writers’ choice. The ratings are suggestions, and the little excerpts attached are just meant to be guides to help facilitate story writing if you get stuck. Please when posting your story please give credit for me (MidnightJuilet) for hosting this challenge and to the specific fan which is also listed above who came up with the prompt idea.

[scarecrowofthefields]

Kakashi Appearances in Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

I couldn’t find a list of all the episodes where Kakashi made an appearance in Boruto: NNG so I decided to make my own. Not sure how many people still care about Boruto: NNG, hopefully it’ll save people the headache that I had scouring through 293 episodes just for this retired man

updated: October 24th 2024

Key:

episode number - episode title

no asterisks = one scene

** = two scenes or more

*** = kakashi-centric

13 - A Demon Beast Appears***

Kakashi's debut in Boruto! Not only that, he showcases a new Lightning Style: Purple Lightning in place of Chidori after he lost the Mangekyo Sharingan at the end of the Fourth Great Ninja War

18 - A Day in the Life of the Uzumaki Family**

It's Inauguration Day of the Seventh Hokage, Kakashi leads the ceremony and presents Naruto as the new Hokage Kakashi does a silly distressed laugh in "The Day Naruto Became Hokage" OVA

20 - The Boy with the Sharingan

He receives a phone call from Naruto while he's on holiday at a hot spring

35 - The Parent Teacher Conference! ***

Kakashi disguises himself as "Sukea" and interviews the students before they take their academy graduation exams

36 - The Graduation Exam Begins! ***

The students are faced with the practical exam and discover Kakashi as the test proctor

37 - A Shinobi's Resolve ***

Kakashi tests the student's motivation as future shinobi

55 - The Scientific Ninja Tool

He attends a private meeting with Naruto and Shikamaru about the purpose of the White Zetsu and Sasuke's reports about the Otsutsuki

62 - The Otsutsuki Invasion**

Kakshi's spotted watching the Chunnin Exam finals with Guy, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, and Iruka. The stadium is attacked by the Otsutsuki clan, he helps to evacuate the arena

63 - Sasuke's Secret Weapon

He assures Sasuke he'll take care of everything (watching over Sarada) and wishes him the best in returning Naruto back alive

71 - The Hardest Rock in the World**

He has a delicate nature when it comes to things, like peeling an orange

72 - Mitsuki's Will**

Kakashi and other advisors discuss Mitsuki's disappearance

73 - The Other Side of the Moon

As the Council criticizes Naruto's reckless decision, Kakashi believes in him and reminds the Council they are there to guide the Hokage

87 - The Sensation of Living

Kakashi and Tsunade are sent to meet with the other Great Villages to gather support to engage in Iwagakure affairs

95 - Tactics for Getting Along with Your Daughter **

He tries to help Sasuke understand his daughter's feelings using Icha-Icha Tactics as a reference

106 - The Steam Ninja Scrolls: The S-Rank Mission ***

It's time for a well-earned vacation, Kakashi and Guy set off for the Land of Steam with Mirai as a bodyguard

107 - The Steam Ninja Scrolls: The Dog and Cat War! ***

In the Land of Steam, the group discovers there's an annual festival in town

108 - The Steam Ninja Scrolls: The Haunted Inn! ***

The group takes a stop at a haunted inn and runs into Tenten

109 - The Steam Ninja Scrolls: Potato Chips and the Giant Boulder! **

A giant boulder has crushed a popular local hot springs, putting a holt on their trip

111 - The Steam Ninja Scrolls: Mirai's King ***

Kakashi and Guy finds Mirai and the missing girls, they provide backup as Mirai goes after the follower of Jashin Episode 110 doesn't feature Kakashi but it's important to the story arc, ngl thought he was in it lol

115 - Team 25 ***

He disguises himself as "Sukea" once more to investigate the complaints Team 25 has been getting. We get to learn more about Houki who idolizes Kakashi

167 - Their Decision

He does a sneeze at the end of the episode. Please watch it

168 - Training Begins! ***

Reluctant at first, but he later oversees Boruto's training

169 - A Joint Mission with the Sand

Kakashi tells Boruto that he has reached the limit with his Wind Style: Rasengan

170 - A New Rasengan **

Seeing Boruto's training is coming along well, he calls in a favor

171 - The Results of Training **

He's impressed with the outcome of Boruto's training and tests it out using the most effective method

172 - A Signature of Fear

Kakashi greets Boruto in the hospital and orders him to not use Compressed Rasengan recklessly

176 - Blockade the A-Un Gate! **

He caught a fish!!

211 - The Chase ***

He teams up with new gen Team 10 in tracking down an intruder who broke into the archives

260 - Fireworks of Love ***

Kakashi goes on a "mission" with Boruto to solve a Tragedy of Love in order to obtain a first edition copy of Icha Icha

282 - Sasuke's Story: Infiltration **

He becomes a tutor to Nanara, a prince of the Land of Redaku who was sent to Nagare Village since he was too young to rule. Kakashi takes this opportunity to teach him how to read and write. In a later scene, he sneaks into the King's study in search of a book of the Sage of Six Paths

286 - Sasuke's Story: The Ring

Kakashi makes fun of Naruto for being "thankless" about the work he did in the Land of Redaku

In the background / No lines

78 - Everyone's Motives

178 - Our Fathers' Example

215 - Prepared

not even gonna bother writing a description for these. there's probably a few episodes that show Kakashi in the bg but I happened to stumble upon these ones by accident

[cinewhore]

The Only Exception - extended cut

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x fem!reader - Carmen Berzatto & fem!reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: mentions of drinking, toxic family dynamics, smut 18+ (groping, male receiving oral, penetration, unprotected sex, facial cumshot), canon death, angst and fluff. 

A/N: I wrote something a tad bit sadder and decided not to post it because the episode (s2 ep 6) was bad enough but why not? Dedicated to my lovely friend @spiderispunk​. No beta cause I don’t wanna. Ignore all spelling errors. Hope y'all enjoy. Credits to the gif creator. 

Nothing ever goes smoothly with the Berzatto’s.

Why you thought this holiday dinner was going to be any different was beyond any rational comprehension.

Trying not to be a complete klutz and ruin the side dish you’ve been working on the entire day, you delicately balance it in your left hand while adjusting your scarf tighter around your neck with your right. Putting a pep in your step, you round the corner from where you parked, spotting the stoop instantly.

It was a rare sighting to see all three of the Berzatto siblings together. With Carmy being away at culinary school, Mikey doing his own thing with the restaurant and Natalie living her life, one person always missed the other. It warmed your heart to see just how much they cared about each other, even if they didn’t show it in a normal or healthy way.

“Is that who I think it is?” Mikey’s voice booms over the light traffic passing by, handing Carmy the cigarette he was puffing on.

You crack a smile, despite it feeling like your lips were stuck together due to the cold weather. “Sorry, I’m a bit late. Fuckin’ cat had my keys.”

“How many times did I tell you to get rid of the cat?” Mikey leans down to kiss you but you turn your head, forcing him to peck you on the cheek instead.

“C’mon, baby.” he drawls, throwing you a bashful smile.

You huff out a sigh, lowering your voice. “You know I hate the smoking.”

Mikey nods, face fading into something serious before vanishing. “I know you do. You didn’t bring fish, did you?”

Side-stepping the tall Berzatto, you get pulled into a hug by Natalie, followed by Carmen.

“Hello, gorgeous! It’s so good to see you!” Natalie kisses you on both cheeks before making the move to grab the dish out of your hands. You pull back, shooting her a look.

“Nat, please. I got it.”

“Are you sure?” you watch as her bottom lip quivers a bit. You steal a glance at Carmy, who just shakes his head..

“Fuck. How bad is it?” you gaze at the disheveled trio, awaiting an answer.

Finally, Mikey breaks the silence.

“It’s at a five. Six, at best.”

You lick your lips, rocking back and forth on your heels. “That’s not too bad, right?”

“Right.” Carmy agrees, with Natalie humming in agreement.

“Just don’t fucking ask if she’s doing ok.” Mikey glimpses at his sister, placing hand on your lower back to guide you into the house.

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose, plastering a smile on your face before entering the shit show.

You’d only been there an hour and you were called the wrong name three times, objectified, cursed at and now Fak was trying to get you to put up five hundred dollars for baseball cards.

Listening with great intent, nodding at all the right times, twirling the wine in glass in your hands desperately wanting to get another refill had your social energy spent.

“We could make you a lot of money, cousin.” Fak goes on, nudging his brother for support.

“Yeah-yeah! Think about what you could do with fifteen hundred bucks! Cold hard cash!” Theodore chimes in.

“Wow, no, yeah this-this sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime.” you murmur. Don’t take it the wrong way, you loved Fak. His personality was infectious, you’ve never seen him get overly angry despite the other guys giving him shit and he genuinely goes out of his way to help everyone. Back when you first started dating Mikey and moved apartments in the city, Fak volunteered to make sure your place was in tiptoe shape and refused payment.

Just then Steve, Michelle’s husband, passes by and you seize your opportunity.

“Steve! How are you?” you beckon him over, scooting over on the tiny couch so he could sit beside you.

“Ah, yes. Mikey’s girl who we aren’t sure how he managed to snag. Good to see you again.”

You brush off his comment with a tired smile, gesturing to Fak and his brother. “So, these guys have a proposition for you, right?”

You nod enthusiastically with them, giving Fak a secret wink.

“Oh, yes! Yes! Do you like baseball cards, Steve?”

“On that note,” you stand up and maneuver yourself out the nook. “I’m gonna go get a refill. Leave you gentlemen to handle business.”

Mocking a military salute, you dash towards the kitchen bypassing other members of the family.

Donna flurries around the kitchen, shouting instructions to no one in particular. You didn’t greet her as soon as you came in, knowing how she gets around this time of the year. To be honest, you were sure that she didn’t exactly like you.

“Donna, my goodness! You look wonderful.” you lay the complement on sweetly, smiling brightly. If you don’t wilt in her presence, she wouldn’t be able to smell the fear on you.

Donna swivels her head to look at you, cigarette dangling from her lipstick smeared lips. Eyes lined in thick mascara, her disapproving expression ripples through you. You smile wider.

“I brought over a little casserole. I figured it would compliment the fish nicely.”

Shifting to face you fully, Donna crosses her arms. “Casserole? What casserole?”

You point to the tin foiled dish. “That one. Mikey brought in, did he not tell you?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, just like he told me about him breaking things off with what’s her name.”

“Anna.” you mutter, swallowing the lump that quietly made its way up your throat.

“Yeah, Anna.” Donna turns back to the task at hand, haphazardly swinging a knife about. “I liked her better.”

Forgoing your much desired glass of wine, you stalk out of the kitchen. On the outside looking in, the Berzatto’s appeared to be your average family. The warm glow of the lights shining out into the frost covered sidewalks invited you in all those years ago and once inside, you then realized why people were so hesitant to accept invites or why Mikey refused to bring up his past.

You didn’t have this growing up. Your family life was much quieter, mom and dad both kept to themselves. Distant cousins never visited for the holidays and you were an only child so there weren’t any siblings to fall back on.

It was boring.

Drove you crazy.

So when the Berzatto’s welcomed you in with open arms (well, some of them) you threw yourselves to the wolves willingly. It helped you grow a thick skin, talk over people and man handle the biggest guys in the room. For that, you were thankful.

A hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, dragging you away from everyone and up the stairs. Mikey is headstrong in his quest to get you alone, not caring to see if you were keeping up the pace. You both stagger inside his room, the door shut soundly behind you, followed by the lock turning.

Mikey doesn’t give you a second to react, mouth leaving open tongued kisses along your jaw and collarbone, hands working at tugging up your skirt.

“Mikey, baby, baby, wait-” you plead, backing up to create space between the two of you.

He flops onto the bed, hands on his knees, fingers raking through his hair again and again.

You’re careful as you sit next to him, scratching your own fingers along the center of his back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” is all he utters.

“Bullshit. Talk to me.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else, you get it. The party continues below you both, profanities and insults flying like it's nobody's business. It was too much. For Mikey, Camry, anyone. The more time you spent with his family, the more you realized why Carmen never came back to visit.

Why Mikey feels trapped.

“I know.” you whisper against his shoulder, mouthing pressing in tiny kisses. You lift his head up with both of your hands, cradling his face gingerly. The tiredness exudes for nearly every crevice, eye bags worn and solidified. You use your thumb to smooth out his forehead, laughing softly when he wrinkles it more.

“You’ll always have me, Berzatto.”

“I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

You tut. “That’s not true. You’ve always had me. From the moment you sold me that greasy, sloppy sandwich down at The Beef. I was a goner.”

Mikey chuckles, leaning into your hands more. “I got you something.”

Your eyes go wide, brows forming a skeptical look. “Is that so?”

Mikey flickers his eyes down to his pants and you scoff.

“Wow, Michael. Are you gifting me your penis? Again? I must’ve been too nice this year.” you gently slap his face is mock anger.

“Haha,” he deadpans. “Try my pockets, detective wiseass.”

You let go of his face and rummage through his pants pocket, producing a ball of torn tissue paper, kept together by a single piece of tape. Confused but curious, you unwrap the gift, facing dropping as your eyes find his.

The tissue tumbles to the ground, revealing a necklace. At the bottom of it dangled a charm of…cheese?

“I remember the first day you came into the shop. Like a goddamn bat outta hell. Never seen anything like it. You ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and asked for, um, what was it?”

“Havarti-”

That’s right! Fuckin’ havarti cheese! What the hell even is that?”

“How do you own a sandwich shop and not provide a variety of cheeses, I don’t understand it.”

Mikey gawks at you. “Babe, we’re called The Beef. Not the cheese. But you wanna know what I did?”

You encourage him to finish, as if you didn’t know the rest of the story.

“I told you to wait and-and I was gonna go check in the back. I booked it out of the back door, all the way down to Malik’s corner store and bought the most expensive cheese he had. I rush back to the shop and guess what?”

“You made the sandwich.”

Mikey’s face cracks into the biggest grin you’d ever seen, eyes crinkled at the corners. “I made the goddamn sandwich. Brought it out to you myself. Told you that we didn’t serve grilled cheese but for you, I’d make an exception.”

Your eyes well over in tears and you blink rapidly to keep them from falling. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, ya know.”

“You’re telling me all I had to do was buy you some cheese to get in your pants? Hot damn.”

You playfully shove Mikey back against the bed, crawling over to straddle him. “Well, it worked after a while, didn’t it?”

Mikey thrusts upwards, growing erection sliding against your damp underwear.

“It sure did.”

He grabs the back of your neck, surging up to slot his mouth against yours. You aren’t delicate in the way you claw at him, nails digging into his tanned flesh. Pushing up your skirt, Mikey palms your ass, stroking it before landing a hard smack against it. You moan into his neck, biting down.

“Perkiest ass I’ve ever seen, baby, shit.” Mikey groans, voice an octave deeper.

“And it’s yours. All yours.”

Mikey secures the back of your head as he flips the two of you over, pushing you down on your stomach. You do the rest of the work for him, sticking your ass up, and curving your back into an arch.

Mikey readily pulls down the zipper of his pants, hands readjusting his briefs until he is able to free himself. Spitting obscenely in his palm, Mikeuy shoves your panties to the side and rubs his silvia across your slickness. You buck back into him, whimpering when he graces you with a lone finger to loosen you up. You whine, and wiggle your ass some more, ready to receive all that he was going to give you.

“Gonna give my baby what she wants, don’t you worry.” Mikey purrs, aligning himself to enter you. He slides in easily, the strained sigh as he fully situates him inside you never ceases to make you wetter.

You pull yourself up so that you were resting on your hands, peeking over your shoulder to catch a gaze at Mikey as you being to fuck him. He was enthralled at the sight of his cock pumping in and out of you, the way you were able to handle him without saying a single word.

He would love to take his time and thoroughly explore your cunt but time is of the essence. Wrapping his right hand around your neck once again, he yanks you up into a deeper arch, left hand on your hip in a deathgrip. He meets your thrusts with his own, dropping his left leg down on the floor to gain some balance.

Between the familial bickering creeping up the stairs, all that could be heard was the squelching of your pussy and the labored breathing of Mikey, muffled praises spurring you on further.

He slaps your ass again and you tighten around him, eyes rolling to the top of your head as you attempt to hold onto his arms for dear life.

“Mikey, oh fucking god, baby you’re gonna make me come so hard. Please, please, please!”

He answers you by sticking his fingers in your mouth and you automatically clamp down on them, sucking and gagging until spit dribbles down the side of your mouth.

Mikey picks up speed and the line breaks as you reach your peak, legs stiffening as you rear back against Mikey. He continues to fuck, albeit at a slower tempo, humming as you spasm against him.

“That’s my girl, my favorite fucking girl. Where do you want mine, huh? Tell me where you want it.”

He removes his fingers and lets them trail down to tease and pick at your hardened nipples that now poke through your shirt.

“I wanna taste. Want it in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” Mikey lets you go and you catch yourself before you fall completely face first into the bed.

“Get on your knees, now.”

You do as you're told, scurrying to position yourself on your knees in front of Mikey. Mouth open and head tilted back, you let a hand caress your breast as the other slithers up his thigh.

Mikey is affectionate as he goes to grab the back of your head, other hand tirelessly stroking his cock. A vein pops out of forehead as he grunts, a few milky droplets coating your face, before steady ropes accompany it. A few of them land in your mouth and you swallow them all eagerly.

Mikey tries to calm his breathing, watching you with hooded eyes as you lick at the tip of his cock, cleaning up the remnants of yourself off of him. You take him down all the way to the shaft for shits and giggles, pulling off of him with a low pop.

“Goddamn devil.”

You wink, swiping at the mess you could feel dripping on your face. Mikey helps to clean you up, both fixing each other’s clothes to appear less wrinkled. Seemingly ok with your appearance, you start to head downstairs but Mikey stops you.

He steps behind you, lifting up the necklace he got you. He fastens it, walking to your front to admire it.

You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth for a kiss.

“It’s you and me, Berzatto.”

“You and me.”

Inhaling heavily, you open the door to reenter the Berzatto family chaos, a new found confidence lighting your path.

That was roughly four years ago.

Or maybe five.

You stopped counting.

You had been going about your day as usual, still getting settled into your new apartment. Boston was a whole new monster to wrangle with but you managed to get by so far. It didn’t feel like home but you figured over time, it would. A lie that spun around and around in your head until it sounded like a foreign language.

The invitation throws you off guard as you thumb through your mail, ignoring the pile of bills for the yellow envelope sealed with a stamp of a bear.

Your hands twitch a little as you instantly drop everything else you were holding onto the overly crowded dining table. You don’t think twice as you rip the stamp off, clawing to get the card out.

Missing you. The Bear opens soon, I’d love to have you come out for a pre-opening. Hoping that you’re doing well in Boston, we have so much to catch up on. My number is still the same.

See you soon - Sugar

P.s. - Fak says hi.

The bottom of the card details the information for the restaurant and the date of the opening. You bite at your lip, glancing around your apartment. It was a dream: your new job, the neighborhood, the coffee shop down the block with the best matcha latte. It was quiet, not complicated and yours. All yours.

Going home, back to the place you ran from seemed stupid. Everything would unravel and you’d fall to pieces again but this time no one would be there to put you back together.

Reaching across the mess, you fish out your laptop. This was a reunion worth unraveling for.

You’re late. So fucking late. It wasn’t your fault though! The plane got delayed and then there was the traffic and you smelled like an airport and desperation so you rushed to the hotel to change. One thing always leads to another but it didn’t matter anymore because you were stepping out of the taxi, smoothing down your coat and anxiously fixing your hair.

You take powerful strides as you approach the restaurant, mouth agape. You couldn’t believe it. What used to be The Beef, the place you spent the majority of your time after work fucking with Richie until Mikey got off, was gone. It was now replaced with a groomed, streamlined, chic replica that stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the rest of the block.  

A car horn sounds and you’re brought back to reality, invitation gripped tightly in your hand. You mumble one last prep talk to yourself before pushing the door open.

A wave of amber and vanilla hit your nostrils first, eyes picking out the candles that were placed around the dining area. The place wasn’t packed but you knew this was because you were late and not because it wasn’t good. If you knew anything about Carmen and his career, it was that the fucker knew how to make good food. He just didn’t know that he did.

A woman clad in all black smiles as she walks up to you, a slight quizzical look on her face.

“Forgive me ma’am but I’m afraid that this is a private event. The restaurant will open to the public soon.”

You shake your head, waving the letter in front of her face. “Oh, I was, uh, invited. I’m so sorry I’m late, my plane-”

Richie strides out of the kitchen, stopping in his tracks once he sees you.

“Holy fucking shit.”

You couldn’t help the amused grin that crosses your face, taking in the new and improved Richie. You hate to admit it but he looks good. Tapered cut, fitted black suit, not too heavy on the cologne and simple accessories to match? What the hell did you miss?

“Holy fucking shit.” you whisper, voice morphing into a high pitched squeal as Richie hugs you, lifting you off the ground.

Upon putting you down, you stand back, motioning wildly at Richie’s figure.

“Oh my god! Are you in a cult? Did they brainwash you? Will the real Richie please stand up.” you clap in front of Richie’s face a few times, to which he swats away.

“A real fucking comedian, huh?” He pulls you into a hug again, inhaling your scent.

“How have you been, cousin?”

Richie pulls away, leading you to a fully set table. You thank him as he pulls out your seat, taking the one across from you. He shrugs at the question, gaze traveling around the restaurant.

“Been busy. Bustin’ my balls to keep this place in tiptop shape.”

You nod, momentarily distracted by a server filling up your wine glass. You pick it up and take a whiff, eyebrow raised. A classic white. Your favorite.

“This is really nice, like, I expected something but this,” you take a moment. “This is something else entirely.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Richie admires you as you sip your wine and continue to look around, getting washed over in nostalgia. He remembers the good days. The days were Mikey was happy, the two of you bantering while making dinner for him, Eva and Tiffany. You were making sure he stayed the course, keeping him sober. Then, for whatever reason he just couldn’t fucking understand, it collapsed. He lost everything he never really had in the first place.

Natalie barges from the back of the house a few seconds after, screaming at the top of her lungs the second she sees you. You both speak over each other, holding each other tightly and taking turns petting Natalie’s stomach.

“Oh my god, Nat! You’re going to be a mom!” you exclaim, hands pressed on the sides of your face.

Natalie sighs, tears falling. “I’m gonna be a mom!”

“I can’t fucking believe it.”

“Neither can I. It just sort of happened.”

You nod, plopping back down in your seat while Richie gets out of his, helping Natalie sit in it instead.

“Cousin, I’m gonna get your order sorted. I’ll be right back.” Richie announces, planting a kiss on Sugar’s head before disappearing to the kitchen.

“It’s been like four years?” you say, gauging Sugar’s expression. You didn’t mean for her to get caught up in your mess once you moved away but she was the only constant reminder of Chicago that you had and you were thankful. The eldest and only daughter syndrome really popped off with her.

It’s amazing how easy you’re able to flow back in conversation with her. You catch up with each other’s lives, tiny bits of gossip filling the cracks. You avoid bringing up Donna, not wanting to tamper Natalie’s mood as she happily chatters about the nursery. Dinner feels like old times and before you realize it, you were scraping your finger across the dessert plate to savor the sweet tanginess of the course.

“Where’s Carmy? I’d like to congratulate the man of the hour.” you wipe your hands with your napkin, polishing off your wine.

Sugar rocks her jaw, eyes cast downwards. You knew the two of them had a somewhat strained relationship but you figured since she decided to work with Carmy, things had settled between the two of them.

“He should be in the kitchen cleaning or probably out back smoking a cigarette. Filthy.”

You hum, sliding out from behind the table. You peck Sugar on the cheek and stroll through the kitchen, murmuring hello’s to those you haven’t seen in a while.

Sugar’s assumptions are true, Carmy perched on the concrete near the dumpster. He does a double take when he sees you but doesn’t get up from his spot.

You’re careful as you sit next to him and upon seeing that you’re wearing a dress underneath your coat he panics, trying to stop you before it’s too late.

“Hey, no, you don’t need to sit down here, we can go back inside-”

“Carmen, sit down. Please.”

Carmen nods and joins you. You dig around your coat pocket for your vape, taking a long drag before exhaling.

You two smoke in a comfortable silence for a while. Carmen was your favorite in this regard, knowing that around him you didn’t have to say anything. You could just shut the fuck up and enjoy each others presence.

Carmy nudges his knee alongside yours. “You think he would’ve liked this?”

You ponder on it a little, taking another hit from your pen. “You definitely would’ve fought over the menu. And where is the poster?”

“What poster?”

“The poster, Carmen.”

“What fucking poster? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“The goddamn baseball poster! You know the one. It was in the office before, I think.”

“Oh, that one. Yeah, Sydney fell through the wall, tore a hole in it.”

You scoff, taken aback by Carmy’s nonchalant response. “Fell through a wall?”

“Yes but don’t worry. Richie taped it back together.”

“Fuck the poster, Carmy, how is Sydney?”

Carmen shrugs. “She’s good. Makes a good partner.”

You nod, staring back at the restaurant. “She managed to pull this shit out of your ass, color me impressed.”

Another beat.

“Hey,” you move your legs so that you are leaning against Carmy, huddling against his shoulder. “I want to apologize.”

Carmy takes the bait. “For what?”

“For leaving. I just ran. Didn’t say goodbye, didn’t look back. You didn’t deserve that. None of you did. Mikey fucking ruined me. I felt selfish though, you know? Cause I was just someone he dated but you, Sugar, Richie..y’all were his blood.”

You feel Carmy take a deep breath, head drifting over to the side so that it rests on top of yours. “You don’t need to apologize for that. You were his fucking heart, he talked about you all the time it was annoying as shit. Plus, everybody runs.”

“You didn’t.”

Carmy glares at the restaurant. “Not sure I can agree with you on that.”

“After Mikey, I just felt like I failed, you know? I tried so hard. I did. I thought we made it over the rough parts but just like that, he slipped. I couldn’t pick him up anymore.” you pluck at your legs, getting stuck in your thoughts.

“You didn’t fail him.” Carmy mumbles.

“Neither did you.”

For once, Carmy lets the words settle in his chest, soothing the frightened side of him that constantly tells him he’s not good enough. It was temporary, he knew this, but it didn’t stop him from indulging in the sentiment.

“You could stay, you know. I could take care of you.”

Camry’s offer catches you off guard and you untangle yourself from him to look in his eyes. Behind them you could see the Carmy you once knew. It hurt, knowing that he was still torturing himself over the loss of Mikey, grappling with the opening of his restaurant. So much pressure on one person who swore that he couldn’t feel it and wouldn’t dare let anyone help him carry the load.

You smooth his hair back, giving him a sad smile.

“I think it’s time I took care of myself, Carmen. Boston is good. I’m gonna be ok. You need to take care of you, man. Someone’s gotta make sure Richie doesn’t strangle himself with his new ties.”

Carmen laughs and even flashes teeth.

“By the way, what is up with that? Fucker looks like he belongs with the secret service.”

“He was mad about the forks.”

You give a half shrug. “Forks. Yup, got it.”

You weren’t sure what was going to become of The Bear but you knew that if Carmy kept his head on straight, he’d get through all the shit life put him through.

He was a fucking Berzatto.

They never went down without a fight. And god help those who fucked with bears.