#holding someone accountable is necessary and valid

[musclesandhammering]

Young leftists get so many things right but the one thing they consistently get infuriatingly wrong is not understanding that the core principle of progressivism is empathising & coexisting with people who fucking suck.

The "radical leftists" on this site who talk constantly about the importance of solidarity and kindness and compassion and then immediately tell anyone who disagrees with them to kill themselves are going to be devastated when they learn how much of actual union organizing involves talking to people whose politics you find incredibly repugnant and meeting them where they're at in order to find common ground

[thedroloisms]

I think what's worse about people doing it to Dream is he's very reluctant to call attention to it himself so people do it for him and it's not just with abuse. They'll do it about him being queer or about having rsd and people need to realise if he wanted to use those things as excuses but he doesn't. Like it's okay to recognise the influence those things have on a person but you can't reduce an issue down to a single factor and remove all the nuance.

i mean yeah he "doesn't use it as an excuse" because 1) he'd be crucified even harder than he already is 2) people already make things up in their head abt him using it as an excuse when he doesn't (like claiming he uses his RSD to get out of things, which was particularly hilarious back in 2021 or whatever when it seemed debatable if he even knew what RSD is) (like this is the same guy who like, during every drodcast around that time, would like list off textbook adhd symptoms and then be like 'yeah idk why i do that tho') but ... that's. like.

like the point i was making isn't just "we shouldn't make excuses using his abuse/queerness/neurodivergence because he doesn't do it" -- in situations where a conversation revolving around smth like queerness or victim advocacy or neurodivergence is relevant, then i don't think these topics should be barred from conversation? as an example, people used to get on people's cases all the time about mcc 14 and how you shouldn't talk about neurodivergence in relation to it while dream was like. clearly and obviously overwhelmed and out of it literally almost until the end of the conversation because of the buildmart rework. just because dream wasn't going "wow, this was an overstimulating environment that clashed terribly with my adhd" out loud on stream doesn't mean people couldn't independently hold conversations about how the game was kind of designed to be stimulation hell, with or without relating that conversation to dream.

obviously people should have more tact when they talk abt abuse specifically, re: dream. i just...don't think that throwing his situation into his face (especially as a weapon to use against other people) is in any way appropriate. people can, have, and will use his experiences against him.

but back to my main point, it's less about "not using these things as excuses because he doesn't" and more about "not using these things as excuses when they're not excuses." like. while i understand that being a survivor, being queer, being nd affects literally everything you do...as you said, there's a difference between understanding the impact something like past abuse can have on your feelings and actions and concluding that your actions and feelings are valid because of your abuse.

like. just as an example. if a DV victim acts erratically while details of their specific situation are being dredged up and said person does things out of character for themselves like shutting down their accounts on social media and refusing to acknowledge an important situation Immediately, even if they themselves don't bring up the specifics of their situation, i think it's fair to say "hey yall are lacking any empathy whatsoever to a survivor of DV who is a victim in this current situation, grow up and piss off."

on the flip side, if someone who's been through abuse is harassing people online and doing things like campaigning for them to lose their platforms and refusing to give any information as to why they believe this is necessary or provide any proof outside of "just trust me, they're bad bro" and cries that they're trying to do the right thing because they're an abuse victim...being an abuse victim does not excuse your current behaviors, many of which are enabling and/or encouraging abusive actions and telling people (such as abusers!) that your corner of the internet is a safe place for them to make baseless accusations (including towards their victims) as long as it's towards someone you don't like. which is, you know, fucked up and kinda abusive. i sympathize with the trauma that these people have been through, but bringing up your victimhood is not immediately relevant to the current situation and also doesn't excuse abusive actions.

i hope that made sense?

[theblackfemininesociety]

Girl Talk: How To Properly Hold Someone Accountable.

“You know that I love you, that’s with a passion but I’ll hold you accountable for your actions”

— ‘Accountable’ by BLXST

☕️ Let’s Have a Girl Talk:

In a society that often perpetuates toxic behaviors and fosters a culture of disrespect, it is crucial to explore alternative approaches to accountability. The Black Feminine Society embraces the idea that we can hold individuals accountable with love, genuine respect, and compassion, without resorting to demeaning and disrespectful tactics.

By confronting issues with a solution-oriented mindset and fostering progressive conversations, we can pave the way for positive change and growth.

This blog post delves into the power of accountability, the role of love and respect, and the importance of proactive engagement.

Accountability, by definition, involves acknowledging our mistakes, taking responsibility for our actions, and making amends where necessary.

The Power of Accountability:

Accountability is a fundamental aspect of personal and societal growth. It involves taking responsibility for one's actions, acknowledging the consequences, and actively working towards healing and restoration. Within the Black Feminine Society, accountability is approached as an empowering tool that encourages individuals to reflect, learn, and evolve. By holding ourselves and others accountable, we create opportunities for personal development and collective progress.

The truth is, genuine accountability is rooted in love, respect, and compassion. It is about holding our sisters accountable without demeaning them, without disrespecting them, but instead, acknowledging their potential for growth.

Tough love is not about harshness or severity. It's about transparency and honesty, delivered with good intentions and from the heart. It's about acknowledging the issue at hand and addressing it directly but kindly. It's about making the other person understand that they are loved and respected, even when they are being held accountable.

However, the reality is that holding someone accountable can often be challenging and uncomfortable. It becomes even more complicated when we want to ensure that the process is filled with respect and compassion, instead of negativity.

•

•

So, what actions can we take to encourage compassionate accountability in our society?

🩷 Understanding & Empathy:

Recognize the individual's experiences and feelings and validate them. By doing this, you're telling them that their perspective matters, and you're willing to walk alongside them on their journey to improvement.

👄 Speak from Love, Not Anger:

It's crucial to communicate from a place of love and genuine concern, rather than anger or frustration. This doesn't mean you shouldn't express your feelings; it just means you should do so in a way that doesn't belittle or disrespect the other person.

🩷 Focus on the Issue, Not the Person:

When holding someone accountable, concentrate on the behavior or action that needs addressing, not the individual. This approach ensures the person doesn't feel personally attacked, facilitating a more open and productive conversation.

✨Propose a Solution:

Confronting someone about an issue is the first step, but it's equally vital to present a solution, plan, or support. This positive action sets the tone for a progressive conversation and shows that you're invested in resolving the issue together, not merely pointing out faults.

🩷 Give Them Space:

After the confrontation, give the person some time and space to process the information. It's important to respect their need for reflection.

Join the sisterhood, Follow us on INSTAGRAM & FACEBOOK

[tex-now]

I think my interpretation of what mephone4's recovery would look like shifts a little depending on how old he is. Like, not by much, but by a little bit.

This is basically just me rambling about mephone4 during/post-canon. I love mephone4 he makes me ill so I want to ramble. Let me have this.

If mephone4 is an adult I think that putting more responsibility on his actions than if he was a child is necessary.

He is an abuse victim, he was scared, unsure, desperately trying to escape his abusive father and became extremely jaded (?) and traumatized because of it, BUT he still put a lot of mental turmoil on his contestants, and traumatized many of them in turn. He still hurt so many of them so badly and that is inexcusable (he is aware of this).

Hes emotionally constipated and repressed to a fault and is by no means a bad person but like. Tissues. Suitcase. Taco. Bow. Any of the contestants that wouldn't forgive him are completely valid to do so, and it's HIS responsibility to improve himself and his behavior so that, if he ends up meeting them again, he doesn't repeat the previous patterns he has in the past.

His general veneer of cockiness, apathy, and being kind of an asshole to his contestants, his showing bias and unfair inconsistent challenges, being generally dismissive of his contestants feelings, are all things he did. I do think it's a result of having cobs as a father and all the trauma he's experienced as a result of that, buuuuuut he needs to work on himself and only he can fix his bad behavior (with the support of family and hopefully a therapist).

Which is why I think mephone4's apology was extremely needed and I am SO FUCKING GLAD that they were like "yeah mephone4 fucked up. He should give everyone space to grow into new people and so that he can also grow and finally do something for himself so that he can be truly happy instead of just living on the high of escapism and and projecting his issues and problems onto his contestants." (<- all of this is said lovingly. I promise I love him so much. nomming on him).

He absolutely needs a loving support system and also 10 years of therapy and he's already on the right track :) he needs to learn to hold himself accountable for his actions (which he is starting to I'm so proud), and how to effectively communicate his feelings along with not taking them out on others and that takes time, but I believe in him I love him so muchhhh hic hic sob.

If mephone4 is a child then his situation is 10x more tragic oh my god. You can definitely acknowledge that his actions were fucked up on several levels, but him being an abuse victim (which definitely hindered his emotional development) PLUS literally most likely not physically mature enough to process his own feelings and the actual implications of what he's done to his contestants then, yeah, I would give him more grace.

(I'm pretty sure this also applies to if he was an adult but yeah), I can't speak for everyone, but a common defense mechanism ive noticed in young people around me (and myself personally) is apathy and indifference towards everything, even topics that would typically be upsetting or uncomfortable to talk about.

Instead of dealing with your emotions or the pain you cause other people, you laugh it off and avoid it for as long as you can, and usually when you can't avoid it anymore, you become defensive and anxious. (Once again. In my experience. And from what I've seen from other people. Avoidance instead of acceptance).

Of course, this doesn't mean that the contestants would be evil for not understanding or not forgiving him. What he did was fucked up, and children also need to take responsibility for their actions as it is a crucial part of their emotional development.

But he's still a child. The things he would need to work on would not be things he could do on his own. He needs someone to take care of him and help him.

Not any of the contestants, definitely, but someone to take him in and show him the unconditional parental love he never got to have. It's less on him to deal with his shit (even though it's still on him to an extent) and moreso about having someone to help him fix his behavior less so by like personal self reflection on his own (too young for that) and moreso by being shown the right behaviors and having a safe person to tell him when he's wrong who will still provide unconditional love to him and help him reflect on his behavior. (Like like ballpoint pen 🥺🥺)

Anyway I love mephone4. Idk I just wanted to ramble this has no real point. Lol

[believerswithkamala]

Why you can be against abortion and still vote for someone who wants to legalize it.

I do not like abortion. I think it is a difficult, sad, and complicated thing. I believe in an ideal society there would be no abortion because in an ideal society there would also be no poverty, no rape, the adoption system would be seamless and all relationships would be healthy. But we don’t live in an ideal society. And poverty, r*pe, unstable relationships, and abusive relationships all exist. The foster care system and the adoption system is messy and often traumatic. There are circumstances where women could die without an abortion. We can and should strive to get as close to an ideal society as possible, but we will never get there. Abortion needs to be legal and accessible and it’s not a woman’s fault. It is a product of systemic issues within society.

Legalizing abortion just allows women to access care that is unfortunately often necessary. It is a hard choice and it’s important that women have the autonomy to make the difficult choice. What I might see as an unnecessary abortion might seem very necessary to someone else. And both arguments would likely be valid.

This doesn’t mean we have to accept abortion and do nothing about it. We can strive to fix the issues that cause it. We can strive to create a society where relationships are more stable. We can make sure everyone receives proper s*x education and birth control is easier to access. We can strive to improve the foster care and adoption system. We can strive to reduce poverty, which is a step Kamala Harris can and will help with if she is elected. And we can change our perspective of rapists. If r*pists were held accountable, less women would have abortions because of it and less women would endure that unimaginable trauma. Again, Kamala Harris became a prosecutor in part because she wanted to hold these people accountable. She understands this issue on a very deep level.

I don’t believe children of r*pists are less valuable than any other child, but I do believe that a woman who had her body violated should not have to carry a pregnancy that resulted from that. Most likely the abortion would occur before the unborn can feel pain and while it is very sad, if a woman feels that’s the best option then it is the best option.

Abortion is sad, but it is sometimes necessary and women need to have the right to make their own decisions. There are systemic societal changes we can make to reduce abortions and that’s what we should pursue instead of banning procedures that are often necessary and blaming women for getting them. It’s not a woman’s fault. It is a symptom of societal issues.

[amoripomoea]

i keep getting hit with these like. weird waves of sadness over liam's passing yesterday?? a big chunk of what shaped me as a person during my teenage years is gone and it's such a weird and sad feeling.

i don't really have the words to describe how i feel about this (well, i do, but they're not like. brief. or clear). the liam payne i'm sad about losing was gone awhile ago, i know that, but part of me always hoped he would get to receive the professional help he so clearly needed.

anyone who was obsessed with one direction knew that liam really lost his way and fell into addiction almost immediately after the band broke up. he's needed help for years. he did go to rehab awhile back and started to heal a bit but clearly things got bad again.

i'm aware that death does not make someone innocent. you are allowed to be surprised and sad by the tragic loss of a life while also holding them accountable for the shitty things they've done. those two things can and should coexist. i know the internet is allergic to nuance but PLEASE exercise some critical thinking and perspective. this is not as black and white as it seems to be on the surface. keep in mind that there's also a lot that we just don't know.

this grief is so nuanced. like i said, i don't support what he has done in the past -- i haven't supported him in YEARS because of the things he's said and done. i stand w all of his victims that spoke up, and i hope they're all doing okay rn and that they know that none of this is their fault.

there's something so weird and sad about combing the emotions of coming to terms with the fact that the person you idolized as a teen turned out to be a bad person, along with the rough and weird feelings of grief that come with that same person dying suddenly, gruesomely, and tragically.

this is all so tragic, so weird, so surreal, and SO hard. there's a lot of weird conflicting and nuanced emotions running through not just me, but so many of us who grew up loving one direction. i'm aching for 12-15 year old me who wouldn't recover from this. i'm destroyed for his son who survives him, his family, friends, and the other one direction boys. my heart also aches for his victims, who i'm sure are experiencing a lot of conflicting and weird emotions about this. i can't imagine what they're all going through right now and can only hope they're doing okay.

this is the first major celebrity death ive experienced, at least with a celebrity i genuinely loved and obsessed over growing up. ik a lot of people feel the same way too.

whatever you're feeling about this right now is valid. you have the right to feel however you feel. you can mourn the loss of someone who meant a lot to you as a child while also remembering that they turned out to be a bad person.

sorry i keep talking abt this but it hits so hard. like i said like 30 times this is so weird and hard and confusing to a lot of us one direction fans who stopped supporting liam a while back bc of his actions. grieving with perspective and nuance is necessary here but it's not easy.

i hope my fellow one direction fans are doing okay today <3

[inuhalfdemon]

No One Can Know... (2/?)

Word Count: 733 Words

Chapter 2

"Who's been here since day one!? Who's been faithful as a nun...?" - Hell's Greatest Dad (Alastor)

"CHARLIE!" 

Lucifer's voice grated into Alastor's ears as he leered over the reunion between Charlie and her father. 

Alastor knew that this visit was...inevitable. As much as he wanted to keep Lucifer's involvement out of his area of things; he knew Charlie would eventually extend the invitation to her father to come and see what all was happening with her big plans regarding the hotel. Really though, it was very poor timing…

Still; he could at least see to the "introductions"; be a gracious host as the hotel manager before slipping away at the soonest moment he possibly could so that Charlie could go about her showing all that she wished to the King. 

Then, Lucifer just ignored him.

Alastor stood by the entire time; just waiting to be acknowledged and the absolute fucker actually made a point of greeting the pets before casually stepping away; completely dismissing Alastor. 

Alastor passively watched as Lucifer proceeded through the lobby; offering vague and unhelpful comments to the hotel and the welcome the current residents were making for him. Alastor realized: Lucifer couldn't say shit regarding the hotel. Parts of the deal they had made prevented him from it. Interesting... However - upon seeing Alastor's obvious addition to things - Lucifer was then able to cut in with: 

"Oh! What in the unholy Hell is that!?" 

That was his cue. Despite his irritations; Alastor thought it best to play...civil.

He'd have his fun, of course. He'd greet the man; all smiles and poking a few clever jabs at the King...

But, then Lucifer dug in: implying Alastor was someone he had never even heard of - suggesting he was merely a bellhop to the hotel and then...fucking calling him a hazbin...to his face...in front of everyone within the lobby.

Alastor wildly laughed; at the comment thrown at him – choosing to hold on to that last shred of self control before Lucifer threw it back in his face.

Lucifer wanted Alastor to crack; to give any little indication that the two – in fact – knew each other. If Alastor slipped here; then his deal binding him to Lilith and keeping him at the hotel would be made void. Alastor had been – on all accounts – playing nice. He, too, had reasons of seeing Lucifer break their little façade. If Lucifer wanted to him to play into this little song and dance…well, who was he to refuse to partake in such entertainment.

It wasn’t hard for Alastor to find his digs into Lucifer by way of his daughter. Alastor knew the reasons for Lucifer’s required absence but Charlie did not; nor could Lucifer offer any sort of explanation that would remain within the confines of their deal. It was too easy for Alastor to emphasize his having been there for Charlie since day one; being the authoritative figure she emotionally needed to turn to for guidance and validation in all of her efforts in making her dream a reality.

Lucifer quickly steered the conversation toward the other residents; encouraging Charlie to talk about anything else. Alastor’s irritability quickly bubbled to the surface.

It was time to take things up a notch.

His shadow made quick work in detrimenting the chain that supported the large chandelier hanging above their heads; sending it crashing down into the lobby – sending a clear message to Lucifer that Alastor was growing tired of this little game…

Laughing; Lucifer saw the message for what it was:

“Haha! Alright, then…”

Lucifer meant to show Charlie that she needed him more than some hazbin Radio Demon. If she saw this; Lucifer’s involvement in things could change drastically – effectively reducing Alastor’s. Lucifer trusted Lilith…but, wondered at her decision to involve the sinner and entrusting him with the protection of their daughter and in ensuring all necessary steps were taken in seeing their plans fulfilled.  

Alastor anticipated Lucifer’s response to his antics; though he found the reference to his tentacles being served up on a platter rather risky…If Lucifer supposedly did not know who Alastor was; how did he know he possessed them? Still; the analogy went over everyone’s heads and Alastor proceeded to dig deeper into the tumultuous relationship that was his with Charlie.

Things nearly got out of hand when Lucifer dared to touch him; clenching Alastor’s suit jacket and actually pressing his face to his as he was yelling:

“Oh, you tacky piece of-“

If not for Mimzy…who knew what may have transpired next. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3

[makehydrafictionagain]

Public Relations: Foundations- Ch. 1 Pt. 1 (MCU x Reader)

Note: While I work on Public Relations: Civil War, I decided I'm gonna throw a new part at y'all. Just to give us a better... foundation. <3

Summary: As the team navigates a day filled with public appearances, quiet reflection, and deeply personal moments, they are reminded of the weight of their past and the resilience of those around them.

Here is the prequel to this, Public Relations: Age of Ultron.

May 30, 2015

A low whisper rattled the thin window panes, the early morning wind pushing against the aged glass. It wasn’t harsh, just persistent enough to stir you from sleep a little earlier than you'd hoped. 

The air in the room was cool, the kind of crisp that settled in just before the warmth of the day arrived. You stayed still beneath the heavy comforter, the warmth cocooning you against the chill that had crept in overnight.

You blinked up at the window, watching as the soft, early sunlight stretched across the plaster, filtered through sheer curtains that shifted gently with the wind. Bratislava had already begun to wake outside, though at this hour, the city still carried the hush of dawn. You could hear the occasional sound of a car passing on the street below, but the steady rustling of the wind was the dominant sound. 

It was peaceful. 

You wanted to hold onto that peace as long as you could, given what the day would inevitably bring.

London was easy. Fun, even. A warm welcome, especially compared to the New York and D.C. stops beforehand. It was a press event that felt more like a celebration than an obligation. The English public had embraced the team, the royal family expressed their gratitude, and Parliament offered their formal recognition. There was no tension, no pointed questions- just appreciation. 

Vienna, though, felt more tense. The smiles were there, but beneath them was something else- something… watchful. The press event went smoothly, but the meetings behind closed doors had a different tone. You weren’t present for them, but from what you were told afterward they were sprinkled with questions about accountability, concerns about unchecked power. Nothing direct, nothing outright accusatory, but enough to make the entire team feel the shift.

Seoul proved to be a relieving break. A chance to focus on progress rather than politics. Dr. Cho was highly honored for her contributions to medical advancements, and you watched as she accepted her recognition with the quiet confidence of someone who didn’t need applause to validate her work. 

She helped you with an advanced regenerative treatment for your shoulder- nothing miraculous, just something to speed the healing along. It was incredibly reminiscent of the day you met the team; Clint was all beat up, but had just been worked on by Dr. Cho and was almost instantly healed. You hoped it would be the same for you. 

Steve sure remembers that day. Dr. Cho pointed out, both amused and confused, how often he watched you. She wasn’t quite ‘in the loop.’ Apparently, because you weren’t present for that conversation, either, he was quite flustered when Sam latched onto that comment like a dog with a bone. 

It was honestly the closest thing to a moment of peace that this tour had offered.

Johannesburg, though... Johannesburg was sobering. A necessary stop. An apology, carefully worded and heavy with the weight of responsibility. The city accepted their presence, but not without caution, not without reminders of the destruction left behind when Bruce had lost control by Wanda’s hand. 

The city didn’t need to know that part, though. 

The team visited relief sites, and spoke with the people who helped rebuild. When before there had been celebration, in South Africa there was acknowledgement. Of loss. Of damage. Of the reality that heroism didn’t erase consequences. It was also the first stop of the PR tour that Wanda joined; Steve made sure she knew she didn’t have to attend any of it if she wasn’t prepared for it. She took advantage of that permittance and stayed back for over half of the trip, leaving just her and Vision at the Compound for most of the week. 

You knew she would come, though. As little as you knew her, you knew she would come.

Now, you found yourselves in another new place. ‘New’ may not be the right word.

The team got in late and went to bed pretty much immediately, Wanda was the first to retreat. You wondered about her all night, through tosses and turns on the firm bed that creaked everytime you shifted. With everything going on in your head… The press tour, your speeches, the pain your arm was giving you… Steve… Wanda was paramount.

Because, today was different. 

Today is for Sokovia.

Your gaze drifted back toward the window, where the morning light was beginning to grow stronger. 

Bratislava was peaceful in the early hours, far removed from the destruction of Sokovia. 

But today, everything reminded you of a place that no longer existed. 

It's just so… real.

You sighed and forced yourself to sit up, throwing your legs over the side of the bed. The room was still cool, the floor cold beneath your feet as you pushed yourself to stand. You rolled your shoulder, testing the mobility. It was certainly better now, thanks to Dr. Cho, but the stiffness lingered. 

A quiet reminder that some things took time. 

Padding toward the small desk, you picked up the handwritten welcome note from a Slovakian official, skimming over the carefully worded gratitude. You had received plenty of these throughout the tour, but this one felt heavier, more personal. You set it back down and made your way toward the closet.

Your outfit had already been chosen days before- a sleek and conservative black ensemble, fitting for the tone of the day. 

No bright colors. No unnecessary embellishments. Just something professional, simple. 

Respectful.

You dressed slowly, buttoning the last detail in place before stepping in front of the mirror.

Your reflection looked composed, but there was still a tiredness behind your eyes, one that no amount of sleep could shake. You smoothed down the fabric of your shirt, then ran a hand through your hair, fixing a stray strand before turning away. It wasn’t about appearances today.

A final glance at the window showed the sunlight had strengthened, casting longer streaks of gold across the floor. 

Time to go.

-

The hallway outside your room was quiet; the dulled wood floors creaked underfoot as you made your way to the dining area. The scent of fresh coffee drifted through the air, mingling with the warmth of freshly baked bread. As you stepped into the room, you found it just as subdued as you expected. 

The dining space was elegant, an elegance that truly represented the town's history, with high ceilings and dark wooden furniture that felt more suited to a formal gathering than a casual breakfast. A long table had been set with a modest buffet: fresh fruit, eggs, flaky rolls, coffee, and tea.

Steve sat at the far end of the table, a cup of coffee in front of him, eyes scanning the newspaper that was delivered with breakfast, as if he could read it. He looked focused, but there was a distance to him, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Sam leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, staring up at the ceiling like he was trying to force himself to wake up.

Rhodey made it further than Sam, already halfway through his meal, flipping through some sort of notebook as he ate. He acknowledged you first with a polite nod which you returned with a warm smile.

Natasha entered just behind you, sharp as ever, already put together and observant as her eyes scanned the room for who she knew wouldn’t be up yet.

The mood this morning was different from the previous ones. In London and Seoul there was easy conversation, teasing, laughter. Today, it was quiet. Reflective.

You grabbed a cup of coffee and took a seat across from Steve. He barely looked up, only offering the most modest of nods before a quick double-take and softening of his expression. You weren’t offended. 

I get it.

Sam was the one who finally broke the silence. “Well, this is the quietest we’ve ever been. Kinda eerie.”

Rhodey smirked, shaking his head. “Give it a few minutes. We’re still waking up.”

Natasha, now settled with her own coffee, made a quiet observation. “Wanda’s not in yet.”

You debated whether to check on her, but before you could make a decision, Steve spoke. “She might still be sleeping.” His voice was quiet, thoughtful.

You nodded, wrapping your hands around the warmth of your coffee cup. “Can you blame her?”

Sam exhaled deeply, rubbing a hand down his face. “If I were her, I don’t know if I’d even show up.”

Natasha took a slow sip before responding. “She will.”

She will.

-

The door to the dining area opened softly, and Wanda stepped inside, dressed in black. The energy in the room shifted- not with awkwardness, but with acknowledgment. 

No one expected her to say much. No one pushed her to.

You watched as she poured herself coffee, fingers tightening briefly around the handle before she picked up a piece of toast, though she didn’t take a bite. 

Steve broke the silence first, his voice even and directed at the room. “We’ll head out in about an hour.”

Wanda nodded once but didn’t look up.

The others made a conscious effort to steer the conversation elsewhere, letting her settle in without pressure. Sam and Rhodey carried most of the conversation- their tone lighter, more casual. Something about super-suits and robot sidekicks, a topic far above your pay grade and not nearly interesting enough to pretend to care about.

No offense to the boys.

When she caught your periphery by finally looking up from her mug, you met her with a warm smile that didn't quite meet your eyes- rather, your eyes were too tired to show it. 

She gave you the same tired smile.

-

When the team arrived at the United Nations Event Hall they were stunned. Government officials, diplomats, and members of the press had gathered in front of a grand and imposing building adorned with Slovakian and UN flags, its large glass doors opening into a formal reception area. Cameras flashed as soon as they stepped out of the vehicles, the media eager to capture the moment. 

You were last, following closely behind Wanda. Where previously you spearheaded the introduction, you knew that you were not the celebrity here. If Wanda would have wanted, she would be the key speaker, but you knew she didn’t.

Security was heightened but not oppressive, just an ever-present awareness of the significance of the event- of your team. The atmosphere inside was respectful, the room filled with dignitaries and Sokovian survivors, all waiting to hear what would be said.

As the Avengers were led to their seats, lining the right side of the stage leading to the podium, the audience hushed, waiting. 

The speeches began with UN officials, some of whom you recognized as having followed the team on their tour thus far, followed by Slovakian representatives expressing their gratitude for the Avengers' role in preventing further devastation. Yet, even as the words of thanks were given, there was an undercurrent of loss- the acknowledgment that, despite everything, Sokovia was gone.

-

Steve stepped forward to the podium, his expression solemn and composed. His voice carried the weight of the moment as he spoke, steady and deliberate, ensuring that each word resonated with those listening.

“We can’t undo the past. We can’t bring back what was lost. But we can remember, honor, and ensure that Sokovia is never forgotten.”

He took a measured breath, letting the weight of his words settle before continuing. “The destruction of Sokovia was a tragedy- one that no speech or dollar amount can ever make right. But what I’ve seen in the weeks since is something… truly remarkable. The people of Sokovia- those who lost their homes, their families, their sense of safety- did not give up. You did not allow your pain to define them. You stood together. You rebuilt. And in doing so, you showed the world the strength that has always existed here.”

His gaze moved over the audience, making eye contact with several of the survivors who sat near the front. “Strength isn’t just in battle. It’s in the way people come together, in how they refuse to let loss consume them. The people of Sokovia have shown a resilience that deserves recognition. Not just today, but always.”

He didn’t dwell on the destruction, nor did he try to shift blame. Instead, he made it clear that this was not about the Avengers- it was about the people who had survived. “We stand here today not as superheroes or soldiers, but as people who witnessed your strength firsthand. And we promise: Sokovia will not be forgotten. Your stories, your losses, your triumphs- they matter. And they always will. You always will.”

His gaze, perhaps unintentional, rested squarely on Wanda behind him. Yours did, too.

-

Wanda hadn’t expected to speak.  

She had spent most of the event in silence, listening, enduring. Feeling. But as Steve’s voice faded into quiet, as the weight of his final words settled over the room, all eyes turned toward her. She could feel them- watching, waiting, hoping.  

Her hands curled into fists at her sides as she stood, but she stepped forward anyway.  

She had faced worse things than this.  

Taking a steady breath, she let her fingers brush the edge of the podium, grounding herself. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, but unwavering.  

“Můj bratr a já jsme se narodili ve světě, který nás nikdy neměl chránit.”  

The hall was silent, every ear trained on her.  

"Nikdy jsme neměli být zachráněni. To jsme se naučili jako děti—že pokud chceme přežít, musíme být silní. Ne pro sebe. Pro sebe jsme nikdy nic nedělali. Ale pro sebe navzájem. Protože jsme neměli nikoho jiného.” She swallowed, exhaling slowly.   

"Pietro dal svůj život, aby zachránil dítě, které ani neznal. Protože to je to, kým byl. Nikdy nechtěl být hrdinou. Chtěl být bratrem. Chtěl být synem. A místo toho se stal symbolem, tváří na zdi, jménem na seznamu padlých.”  

Her fingers curled against the podium. Despite not knowing what was being said, it was as if you and the others could read her mind. You knew what she was saying.

"Ale pokud musí být symbolem, ať je to toto: symbolem toho, co znamená být Sokovcem."  

She lifted her head, her gaze finding the survivors in the front row- their grief mirroring her own, their pain woven into hers.  

"Naučili jsme se bránit se, protože jsme museli. Naučili jsme se truchlit, protože jsme neměli na výběr. Ale dnes se nebudeme trápit jen kvůli tomu, co jsme ztratili."

Her voice strengthened.  

"Dnes oslavujeme to, co nám zůstalo."

She turned slightly, looking toward Steve, toward the others behind her.  

"The Avengers will not bring back my brother. They will not bring back my home. But they gave me something else- something I never expected. They gave me another family. People who did not give up on me, even when I gave them so many reasons to."

She glanced down the team, toward you.  

"Without them, I would not be standing here today. Without them, I would have never seen who I truly am."

She looked back to the crowd, her chin lifting slightly.  

"Sokovia may be gone. But my people are here. You are here."

She let the silence stretch for a moment before speaking one final time.  

"A to vám přísahám. Ať jsme kdekoliv, kamkoliv jdeme- Sokovie žije v nás."

She stepped back. The room was still.  

And then, the applause rose- not loud, not frantic, but steady, heartfelt. A recognition of something true.

Wanda didn’t turn to look at the others, but she felt them there.  

She had said what needed to be said.  

And, for the first time in a long time, she felt like Pietro had heard it too.

-

The team was escorted to a large banquet hall, where hundreds of Sokovian survivors had gathered for a community meal. The space was warm and lively, filled with the aroma of roasted meats, fresh bread, and traditional Sokovian dishes. The long wooden tables were lined with plates of steaming food, and for the first time today, there was laughter.

Tony Stark had personally funded the event, ensuring that no one in attendance went without a full Stark-branded plate. His contribution to balance out his absence.

It was a moment of warmth amid the grief, a time to simply sit, eat, and remember together.

Instead of sitting at a separate table, the Avengers chose to spread out among the people.

Steve sat with an elderly couple and their adult child, listening to their stories about what Sokovia had been like before the fall. He enjoyed the cadence of conversation between the four of them, only one of them being bilingual.

Natasha and Rhodey spoke with local community and leaders, discussing ongoing relief efforts and how the Avengers could continue supporting them.

Sam entertained a group of children, somehow getting roped into an impromptu arm-wrestling match with an ambitious ten-year-old, much to everyone’s amusement. 

Wanda sat with a group of Sokovians who spoke to her in their native tongue, making her feel- if only for a little while- at home.

-

After observing quietly from afar for a while, you found yourself closely beside Steve; the two of you shared a table with a young family, their son asking him questions between bites of food.

"How strong are you really?" he asked, voice slightly muffled by a mouthful of bread.

Steve smiled, resting his forearms on the table. "Stronger than most," he admitted. "But not as strong as I’d like to be."

The boy frowned. "But you are Captain America. How can you not be strong enough?"

Steve’s smile faded just a little, his gaze flickering toward the other tables, where survivors were gathered. "Because sometimes strength isn’t about how much you can lift," he said. "It’s about what you can carry. And there are some things even I can't hold on my own."

The boy thought about that for a second, chewing his food slowly before asking, "Like what?"

His father chuckled, ruffling his son's hair. "Like all the trouble you get into," he teased, earning a small pout from the child.

Steve let out a low laugh, glancing at you for a brief moment before answering. "Like making sure the right things stay standing," he said simply.

The father nodded, his expression turning a little more serious. "We are lucky," he said, his accent thick but his words clear. "Lucky to be here. To have this moment."

Steve met his gaze, and something passed between them- an unspoken understanding, an acknowledgment of what had been lost, and what still remained.

As the conversation carried on, you felt a shift beside you. The mother, who had been listening quietly, leaned toward you, her dark eyes warm with curiosity.

"When will you marry?" she asked, her voice soft and hesitant, her English broken but clear enough.

Your entire body tensed. "What?"

She gestured subtly toward Steve, a small, knowing smile forming on her lips. "You. Him." She tapped the side of her head as if searching for the words. "Together. When?"

Your face grew hot instantly. You stammered over yourself, barely managing a string of half-formed words. "Oh, um- I, well, we- that’s-”

The mother chuckled lightly at your embarrassment, patting your hand as if to soothe you. "Beautiful couple," she said, her smile widening. Then, with a small nod, she added, "Beautiful babies."

Your brain short-circuited.

The woman grinned knowingly but said nothing else, simply turning back to her husband and child as if she hadn’t just casually rocked the foundation of your entire existence.

Your face was still burning, and you chanced a glance at Steve, who had straightened in his chair, his jaw tightening slightly as he fought to suppress whatever reaction was threatening to break through.

You swallowed, trying to compose yourself.

"So, um-" you said, grasping for literally anything else to talk about, "-you were saying something about strength?"

Steve blinked, then slowly exhaled through his nose, a barely-there smirk pulling at the edge of his lips. He shook his head slightly, reaching for his glass again.

"Yeah," he muttered. "This is definitely one of those things I can’t carry alone."

You pressed your lips together, fighting back a nervous laugh.

The mother just smiled, clearly pleased with herself.

-

You and Steve sat alone now, watching the room slowly diminish as families took their children home and press began to leave, satisfied with their bounty. Steve leaned in slightly, speaking low.

“This feels different.”

You nodded, taking a sip from your glass of water. “Less speech-y. More real.”

His eyes swept the room, watching Sam ruffle the hair of the last boy he had arm-wrestled in the line that had formed, watching Wanda nod quietly as a woman touched her hand and spoke softly in Sokovian.

“This is what matters,” he said.

You didn’t need to say anything in response. He was right.

The banquet continued for another half hour, laughter and conversation filling the hall in a last hoorah. When it was time to leave, you found yourself lingering a little longer, committing the warmth of the space to memory.

As the team gathered near the exit, ready to move on to the resting site of Sokovia, Wanda stood just beside you. She wasn’t smiling, exactly, but the tension in her shoulders had eased just slightly.

You nudged her lightly with your elbow. 

“You okay?”

She exhaled, glancing around at the people still laughing, still living.

“Not yet.” A pause. “But this helped.”

You nodded, and with that, you all headed toward the transport.

Sokovia.

-

The transport ride was quiet. No one had much to say, and even if they had, the weight of the destination left little room for conversation. The sun had climbed higher in the sky, only hours before setting, casting sharp beams of light through the windows. The warmth did nothing to settle the unease sitting low in your stomach.

It wasn’t long before the vehicle slowed to a stop.

As you stepped outside, the wind hit you first- warmer than before, carrying with it the distinct emptiness of open land. Rubble. 

You figured you knew what to expect, but seeing it was something else entirely.

There’s nothing left.

Where a city once stood, there was now only vast emptiness, an open landscape dotted with remnants of foundations too stubborn to be completely erased. There were no buildings, no streets- just a stretch of land that had begun the slow process of being reclaimed by nature. Nothing more than a scar on the earth.

The team spread out naturally, each taking in the space in their own way.

Steve stood at the perimeter of what had once been a city block, his hands in his pockets, looking out over the nothingness with an expression that was hard to read.

Natasha wandered toward a makeshift memorial that had been set up on the outskirts; flowers, candles, and handwritten notes left by those who had come before them. She crouched down, fingers brushing over a small framed photograph left among the tributes.

Sam and Rhodey spoke quietly with a small group of Red Cross and local volunteers who had dedicated their time to preserving what little remained, making sure the site was never completely forgotten.

Wanda hadn’t moved from where she stood.

Your eyes followed hers, tracking the way she stared unblinking at something in the distance: a structure, still standing despite everything else having been wiped away. You continued to follow her line of sight, and as you got closer, you saw it.

A mural.

Pietro.

The painting covered the entire side of the lone remaining wall, his likeness captured in motion, a streak of silver-blue trailing behind him. His expression was determined, focused, the same way he had looked in the final moments before he fell.

Beneath his image, in bold Sokovian script, were the words:

"Junak nikada istinski ne umire, sve dok ga pamtimo."

A hero never truly dies, so long as we remember them.

Wanda exhaled sharply, as if she had been holding her breath this entire time.

You hesitated before stepping forward. The others had noticed the mural too, but they stayed back, giving Wanda space.

She took a slow step closer.

Then another.

She stopped just short of the wall, standing still, her arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to hold something in.

Steve approached next, following your lead, quieter than usual. He looked at Pietro’s face for a long moment before placing a hand against the stone.

"He would have hated this," Wanda murmured, her voice barely audible, but there was a faint, sad smile on her lips. "But I think… he would have been proud, too."

You swallowed. "He mattered. To all of us."

Steve nodded, his voice steady. "We won’t forget him."

Wanda’s fingers hovered over the edge of the painting, tracing the outline of Pietro’s face as if she could still feel his presence in the atmosphere through the brick on which he was enshrined.

For a long while, no one spoke.

The only sound was the wind moving through the empty space where a city had once stood.

As the team slowly began to make their way back to the transport, Wanda was the last to turn away.

Her fingers lingered on the painted surface for just a second longer before she stepped back.

-

The team lingered near the transport, but no one rushed to step in. Leaving felt wrong- like stepping away would mean acknowledging that there was nothing more they could do here. 

And maybe there wasn’t. Maybe there never had been.

Wanda stood a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest, gaze fixed on the crater she once lived atop. You stayed beside her, not speaking, just letting her exist in the moment.

Steve walked up to stand near the two of you, his expression unreadable. He wasn’t watching Wanda. He was watching the land- the open, barren stretch that had once been full of life. 

Wanda looked to the two of you and with a sigh, stepped into the car, leaving you and Steve alone, the last ones standing.

“You okay?” you asked him, your voice soft.

Steve exhaled through his nose, his hands resting on his hips as he looked over the horizon.

“No,” he admitted after a moment. “But I don’t think that’s the point.”

You looked at him then, studying the tension in his jaw, the way he held himself like he was carrying the weight of something much heavier than just today.

Steve had always been good at moving forward, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the weight of what was left behind.

Heh.

You tilted your head back, your eyes searching the empty blue expanse above, and then you pointed toward it. He followed your gaze.

“I think we had our first kiss right… there.”

His eyes snapped to you, his lips parting slightly before they curled into something small, something almost reluctant.

“That was a hell of a first kiss,” he said quietly.

You smirked. “Not many people can say they had their first kiss while the city was falling out of the sky.”

Steve let out a breath of laughter. Soft, brief, but real. After a beat, he looked back up toward the sky, then back at you, his expression softer now.

“We survived that,” he murmured. “We’ll survive everything else too.”

Something tightened in your chest at the certainty in his voice.

You met his eyes. “You always so sure of everything?”

Steve held your gaze, the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly.

“Not everything,” he admitted with a small nod. “But this? Yeah.”

For a moment, you just stood there, the quiet settling between you like an unspoken promise.

Then, Steve tilted his head toward the transport.

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

[pure-garbage]

Not-So-Quick Thought Dump

I'm currently working on a handful of chapters that are actually incredibly important to me. I've been a victim of domestic abuse in the past, so it's an unbelievably difficult topic for me to write about. As much as writing can provide therapy and catharsis, I'm still only human and I get triggered sometimes trying to work through trauma I've personally experienced. I'm sure I'll end up hiding all the pain under a few layers of comedy, which is also fine. That's valid as an art form(I think).

That being said, I'm very pleased with the way I present the situation playing out roughly through chapters 123, likely to around 127. Character aspects like the ones explored here are a huge part of the reason I love the straw hat women so much, especially Robin(Lots of love for Nami too, but she is significantly younger and I head canon her as less experienced/wise).

Robin is the friend I always wanted but never had when I was dealing with my own struggles. She's centered, she's grounding, she's practical, and she can be amazingly fierce when it come to protecting/advocating for the people she cares about.

Going through my own experiences, I never had anyone who told me what I was going through was not okay. It can be incredibly confusing to be victimized by someone you have strong feelings for, whether that's romantic or familial. One of the hardest things in the world to realize is that two things can be true simultaneously: you can love someone and still not be okay with the way they treat you. You can create boundaries, have tough discussions and try to change behaviors. If change isn't possible, it becomes necessary to walk away, which is a separate challenge in and of itself.

Also the concept that someone can hurt you without meaning to and that's still not acceptable. It's easy to make excuses for the people who hurt us instead of holding them to account. Justifying the actions of someone you love is a hell of a lot easier than communicating with them. It's a lot easier than telling them you aren't okay with what they did. It's a lot easier than asking them not to do it again. Especially if they don't realize or don't want to admit that they hurt you. Maybe they were just playing. Maybe they thought you could handle it. If you're tempted to make excuses for them, you'd better believe that if you try to have a conversation about what happened, they'll likely make excuses for themselves.

This point cuts extra deep, at least for me, because it goes both ways. We can hurt the people around us without that being our intention. Hurting someone doesn't automatically make you the bad guy. Every fight in a relationship doesn't necessarily have a 'right' or 'wrong' side. It's fine to have a little self-forgiveness, but it has to be paired with caution. Don't make excuses for yourself instead of taking responsibility. The only thing you can really do to wrong another person is violate the boundaries they set knowing that you're doing so.

Whatever happened, even if it was a little thing, a petty thing, a 'stupid' thing: if you didn't like it, that's enough reason for it to never happen again. That's called setting a boundary and anyone who cares about you will respect the lines you draw in the sand and go out of their way not to cross those lines again. Which probably sounds super basic, like it should 'go without saying', but some of us were raised in dysfunctional households. For us, this really basic knowledge is a completely alien concept that we learn about later on. It's a life-changing epiphany if you're lucky enough to realize it consciously.

So if there's one lesson I can impart with this little arc, I hope that it is this: love and respect go hand in hand and they have to be mutual. Put the work in, be considerate, but don't forget to demand the same effort and consideration in return.

And walking away from a bad situation never makes you a bad person.

[icanseethefuture333]

hello, could you do Zendaya red flags/green flags?tysm

Zendaya's flags 🏳️‍:

Green flags 🟩:

Acknowledge(s/d) when her behavior was self destructive or self sabotaging and took accountability for her actions instead of being angry and blaming others

Stays clear of things that could set her down the wrong path (substance abuse, hanging with a bad crowd, etc)

Feels it is important to heal from generational trauma and wants to set herself and her future family free from those toxic cycles

Her character Rue has been a outlet for her and she hopes that she will be able to shed light on those suffering from mental illness or drug addiction

Very intelligent

Uses whatever tools she has (mentally or an actual object) to achieve success

Shows gratitude to what she has even if it's little or a lot

She is able to turn anything into something magical (scripts, art, a performance, etc)

Fast learner

Stays out of gossip

Trustworthy

Considerate of the feelings of others

If she doesn't have something nice to say she doesn't say it at all

Wants to do things that haven't been done before as an actor

Passionate about creating more spaces or roles for black people or poc in general

Refuses to let Hollywood change her as a person

Defends herself and others from people in hollywood, she will never let anyone turn her or someone into a victim while she's present

Good communication skills

Would gladly share tips on things she's knowledgeable about when asked

Could have wanted to be a teacher if she wasn't famous

Red flags 🚩:

Can be detached, cold, blunt, or aloof when talking to people

She needs to learn to balance logic with empathy, she's too logical or overanalyzes things at times

Projects an image or uses her characters she plays as a way for personal gain

She's constantly acting or playing a role even when she doesn't need to

Inner child wounds (something happened to her when she was a child where she was unable to defend herself, so the possibility of not having control again terrifies her. Zendaya needs to learn to let go and understand she can't always be in control all the time)

Holds grudges or anger towards her past

The show "Shake It Up" could be a bad memory for her. She gets triggered when it gets brought up or feels bitter about it

Takes it very personal when her partner does something that hurts her or makes a mistake, she's valid when it comes to her feelings but she also needs to learn how to forgive when it is necessary, otherwise she could be losing the people that she cares about and also care for her

She possibly suffers from sort of mental health problem (Post traumatic stress, Anxiety, or Disassociation. Its like she's numb or nervous at times. This isn't necessarily a red flag, but it's something people have to be mindful of when getting to know her)

Lets her talent get to her head. When things don't go as she planned or what she wanted, she can be very stubborn and arrogant

Nags or complains a lot when she's not in a good mood. Can be a downer or ruin the vibe when she's around others. Its very obvious when she's not happy and it can make some people uneasy

"Nevermind I'll do it myself"

This is a interesting take but she could be reverse codependent??? Like she's so hyper independent that she wants to always take care or help her partner to the point they don't know how to be responsible for themselves anymore?

In her relationships her partners loses their identity, they just become known as "Zendaya's partner"

Similar to the dynamic of Barbie and Ken in the movie ("Barbie" "and Ken" vs just Ken)

[archivalofsins]

I feel like when people don't have a solid reason to not forgive a character. Suddenly, the victims' feelings are taken into account, and things that were forgivable elsewhere are suddenly not okay. Ultimately I'd really like to be like all biases are valid because that's how Milgram is. However, going how dare you be honest with your wife while simultaneously stating you shouldn't have lied in the first place is about the funniest contradiction I've ever heard.

Because it's like damned if you do damned if you don't logic. This is made funnier that apparently some people's lines in the sand are quite literally, "I can excuse/defend blatant murder but I draw the line at not being honest".

Like admittedly I feel a certain way and the ammount of effort people are going to in an attempt to go hold on don't say gender has a part in this or point out the blatant hypocrisy when it comes to this and Mahiru's case is just blatantly disingenuous. To me, it feels like basically saying don't defend that man by saying what he and Mahiru did are similar or try to explain anything or even state your feelings on the matter.

All while lacking any self-awareness of one's own personal biases or how biases exist at all. Like at one point this trial, the fandom is going abortion is a choice all women should have. Yet, now people are going getting a divorce is something people need to really consider the wellbeing of their partner before doing. A good partner would really consider how this would make the other party look or feel if they go forward with something like that.

Somehow, not realizing or choosing not to realize this is the exact reason he expressly states he should have just kept lying. I fundamentally do not and frankly don't want to understand how someone could imply something so damaging for people of all genders.

Especially when no fault divorce is currently under scrutiny again in the United States. The last thing anyone should be doing is re-stigmatizing peoples right to end a relationship whenever one of the parties sees fit. It is just such a regressive mindset, in my opinion.

The statements I've been made aware of through other parties are incredibly damaging and disrespectful to years of progress made in this area. So, I'd like to say just to make where I'm at crystal clear if anyone is feeling a certain way about how Kazui's trial is going, I get it.

If anyone is annoyed about others wanting to put a blanket over all the hypocrisy, denouncing divorce as a concept and option that many people should have the right to pursue if necessary for any reason, or even just the focus being put on simply the lying and not the actual murder. I want to make this clear that the real world is not Milgram's verdict, and there are people in this world who understand that saying these sort of things, behaving in this sort of way, is not helpful to anyone.

These are people reaching to prove a point because they hate a fictional man so much that they refuse to evaluate who that point may hurt. Stooping to that level over something like this is an easy way to get into an endless mud slinging contest. End of story.

At the end of the day, all ten prisoners are objectively and irrefutably murderers. However, to be candid, I've seen people defend worse in this fandom, which says a lot about how ridiculously disparaging this is to see considering the logic being used to support a guilty verdict that I've heard. I hope this isn't a downer of a post.

I'm leaving it untagged because it might be, and reblogs are off because these are just my personal feelings overall. But- yeah. . . Shit sucks to see can't even lie.

[mbti-notes]

Hi mbti notes, I’m an ENTJ having issues with a superior at work and would appreciate your perspective. I find myself reacting with anger to a lot of her decisions, more than just frustration at what I consider to be bad policy changes. I try to stay polite in the moment but I recently had to rant about her to trusted friends. I am not the sort of person to hold grudges, so this is a weird and bad feeling for me. I think it is because her decisions are just plain mean and I have no way to argue against them since they arent necessarily irrational or illogical. They will save the business money, but I feel uncomfortable with them (being vague for privacy). No one else working there seems to be bothered so I wonder if I am more angry than I should be, though my friends agreed it sounded unnecessarily mean. I guess my question is how to deal with authority you disagree with without going straight to confrontation. And also why my anger feels so out of proportion. Thank you

You are entitled to your opinions and your feelings are valid. Feelings and emotions reveal important truths, which is why accounting for them is necessary for good decision-making and denying them can be harmful. Feelings and emotions become disruptive or unhealthy when you aren't able to acknowledge them, understand them, process them, and use them to enhance your existence - these are all important elements of emotional intelligence.

Anger is an indication of significant injury or brokenness. Whenever you encounter an unfair, unjust, or unethical situation, anger is the appropriate response to the relationship fracture, the betrayal of trust, and/or the damage done to the victims. Without anger, humans wouldn't have the motivation to rectify/prevent problematic social situations. When you don't address these problems properly, the social environment easily becomes toxic and harmful to everyone.

Anger is a very strong and draining emotion because it's meant to quickly spur action that stops/prevents harm. Where people often get confused is they experience all this anger burning inside themselves and they have no idea how to handle it or where to channel it. Some people can't handle the intensity and repress it, only to have it pop back out in destructive ways. Some people get consumed and express it, which only fans the flames of an already tense situation. Are there alternatives to repressing or expressing?

To handle feelings and emotions wisely:

Take them. Accept them. Allow yourself to feel them fully.

Listen to them and hear what they're telling you to do.

Try to look at the situation from different perspectives in order to prevent yourself from getting too biased in judgment.

Pause and tap into your better self to determine what the best course of action is.

Moral problems aren't black-and-white most of the time. Complex moral problems do not have perfect solutions, which is why they are difficult to reason through and resolve. No matter what, someone's going to lose something, so all you can do is try to minimize the losses by carefully considering several possible outcomes, i.e., use Ni to visualize the best possible course of events.

In your case, there seems to be three separate issues to address:

1) The Merits of the Decision: By putting yourself in the company's position, you are able to acknowledge that the decision was advantageous, so you have no logical grounds to counter it. Okay.

But keep in mind that such decisions are never perfectly justified. They are usually based on some data as well as some underlying value judgments. Perhaps a different manager/executive would've looked at that data and made a different decision based on a different set of values. The devil is in the details. Expose the details of the decision-making process and you may find grounds for objection.

For example, although it was an "advantageous" decision for the company, was it absolutely "necessary" to decide in that particular way? Asking this kind of question changes the angle and opens up a different avenue of inquiry. Of course, you might not be in a position to answer the question. But you asked for perspective, so that's one alternative way to approach the argument.

2) The Ethics of the Decision: You take issue with the manner in which the policy change was communicated or implemented ("sounded unnecessarily mean"). You pin the blame on a particular superior. How you handle this depends on what your ultimate goal is.

E.g. If your end goal is to get the policy amended, then you'll have to speak with the people who have the power to change it and convince them with compelling arguments. If your end goal is to get this superior to communicate better, then you'll have to determine whether she'd be open to feedback and come up with a constructive way to deliver the criticism to her (i.e. without blaming and shaming). If your end goal is to alleviate the suffering of the people who will be most impacted by this policy change, then ignore the superior and deal directly with the victims.

3) The Power Differential: You are constrained by the rules and norms of a superior/subordinate relationship. To continue point #2, you have to determine what your end goal should be, but what you set as your end goal is largely determined by how much influence you have over the situation. Since I don't know your status in the company, I can't make any judgments on this matter.

Even when you don't have the power to influence the higher-ups or make big sweeping structural change, doing so-called "smaller" things to alleviate suffering is also very important for mending injury or brokenness. This would be a positive, constructive, and ethical way to channel and release anger. Even venting about the problem with colleagues can be productive, if it leads to greater unity among staff for pushing back against future injury. From anger's perspective, it's better to do something, even in part, to right a wrong than just do nothing and submit to it.

[ripples-in-the-river]

ADVOCATING FOR GAZA AS SOMEONE WITH HYPEREMPATHY

Are you tired of seeing posts about the genocide in Gaza everyday?

I am, too. We all are. Trust me, everyone's tired, too.

I know that it's not because you don't care. You care so much that you don't want to see it, because it hurts too much, and you'd rather go on with your life and pretend you never heard of it.

I get it. Trust me, I do.

But I'm guessing that you wouldn't feel happy with just ignoring everything, either. Right? Because you care. Of course you do. Everyone does.

Let me present you with ways to advocate for the people of Gaza, and help spread awareness, without burning yourself out and wanting to just explode the entire planet and move on from the human race:

-Make your own posts. Spread awareness within the limits your hyperempathy sets for you. No need to use graphic images, graphic descriptions, anything that sets you off. Just vague but powerful terms, that explain the situation without making you want to die.

-Get your info elsewhere. Tumblr doesn't hold a monopole on militantism. Other news sites or papers cover the issue. Maybe they explain the issue in more positive terms, or in easier to swallow phrasings. Maybe they put the focus on what you can do to help, or which countries have taken an official stand against the massacre.

-Mute the tag. I know you feel guilty for doing it, but mute the goddamn tag. You can get your info elsewhere, sign petitions elsewhere, talk about the issue elsewhere. Tumblr doesn't need to be the place you talk or think about Gaza. So mute the goddamn tag if it's burning you out. Please. Do yourself a favor. Besides, burning yourself out won't help anyone. So mute it. There are other ways you can help.

-Sign petitions. There must be at least fifty petitions out there, all in favor of stopping the bombings. Some might be for your country to take an official stance. Some might be for the Israeli government to stop the war. Some might be for the United Nations to bargain for more than a four-day ceasefire. Maybe you'd like to sign some of them.

-Talk about it. There's a world outside Tumblr. Not everyone has an account (no shit, right?). Talk about it with people who might not know. Make a post on Facebook or something. Tell your aunt, or ask your teacher about it.

-Focus on the positive. Lord knows there's an overwhelming amount of negativity in this whole shitty predicament, but there IS positive. What's the positive? The volunteers. The heroes. The people working to get the war to stop. The famous people and politicians taking an official stance against the horrors. Us, on Tumblr, working hard to spread the word that what's happening in Gaza is straight out of a goddamn horror movie, like what the fuck, seriously, what the fuck even?

My point is that we all have our ways of helping. Some of us straight-up go to Gaza and take people out of the rubble. Some of us work at the UN to get a peace treaty going. Some of us work on the news coverage. And I bet they don't all have Tumblr accounts -- but their help is still very, very valid and very, very appreciated. Crucial, even. Absolutely necessary.

So when you hear about things that make you want to just drop dead, or that make you wish God would send another one of those floods and just be done with the entire planet already; when you're tired of hearing about dead children, bombed hospitals, panicked citizens and even more things you'd find on the Devil's daily crossword puzzle, please remember that there are other ways to stand up for the people of Gaza. You don't need to burn out. There are other ways to help. Fuck, you can send money, I bet; make your official Facebook status something like #saveGaza2023; you can pray, you can send money, you can use your political connections if you're involved in your local politics group, you can... I don't even know what else you can do, but I'm absolutely fucking sure of one thing: you can help without reading about all that bullshit about dead kids. So stop reading it if it hurts too much. Do other things instead.

[assorted-yeets]

The art of emotional transference

In the intricate tapestry of friendship, I am an ardent believer in the transformative power of the profound philosophy of gentle parenting. Reveling the vibrant colors of the emotional transference, sitting by my friend('s)/(s') side. Immersed in their world, seeking to understand the delicate brushstrokes of their feelings, offering validation and encouragement with ease, like a painter adding the finishing touches to the masterpiece.

It's 2023, dawg; this art’s got its roots far deeper than the realms of conventional child-rearing. Compassion and empathy create a foundational bedrock of trust, allowing my kin to confide their thoughts and struggles in the space of profound acceptance. The joy I derive from being their pillar of support becomes an unspoken, symbiotic enrichment for their lives and mine.

But, soft! and yet, I must tread carefully. Why? For this emotional dance can be like wielding a double–edged sword. As an empathetic soul, I willingly absorb their joys; and unfortunately, so, I also fall a–sponge to their sorrows. To preserve the beauty of this connections, I am still in the process to learn how to establish boundaries and prioritize self–care, guarding against the risk of burnouts and meltdowns.

As the recipients of this gentle parenting, my friends find solace and catharsis in being seen and heard. Knowing that someone genuinely cares about their emotional journey, cultivates a profound sense of belonging and acceptance in their heads and hearts. But I am mindful that this approach isn’t one–size–fits–all, and both ways. An individual responds to the same situation in distinct ways at different given points of time; let alone different individuals in different situations. A lot of permutations and combinations kinda work, isn’t it? On the other hand, us as listeners, may struggle with emotional weight (our and theirs), and it is crucial to be honest about your emotional capacity. When the load becomes too heavy, seeking professional help or directing them to appropriate resources is an act of kindness.

Alas, even amidst this nurturing environment, I am wary of the fostering dependency. Traces of this risk lie veiled in every single interpersonal relationship an individual can have. Just as an art instructor empowers their students to find their own creative voice, I too, encourage my friends to seek personal growth, take responsibility for their actions, hold themselves accountable, when necessary, acknowledge their own efforts put into something, not under or overestimating their self–worth, practicing mindful self–awareness and to develop resilience. A delicate balance is the key to perfection, even brilliance in the relationship with yourself and the other interpersonal relationships no matter how close.

Concludingly, the captivating dance of the emotional transference through gentle parenting in relationships, (be it a standard child–parent or not,) becomes a potent elixir for building unshakable foundations of connections and offering meaningful support. Guided by active listening, positive reinforcement, reassurance etcetera, paints a beautiful canvas of validation and understanding for our folk. However, in this waltz of emotions, we must harmonize our mental well-being, lest the splendor of our connection shall lose its luster. Like skilled artists, being there for our friends with intelligence and grace serves to create a symphony of mutual support and care, a timeless masterpiece if you will.

[stargazeraldroth]

Ooohhh, good luck with your schoolwork, then! And don’t push yourself too hard~

I get what you mean! To be honest, I tend to make him lean more towards good, myself- It’s just how I view him, in no small part (like you said) thanks to all of the overly malicious interpretations of him. And honestly, especially with the other Stars, I usually interpret him as “good-leaning chaotic neutral,” so really, I’m probably biased, too! Also, he definitely, absolutely does need therapy- To help recognize and process his own feelings (and validate them), to help him recognize social cues he tends to disregard, etc. If nothing else, he’s lived for so goddamn long and seen so much shit that he could do with talking to A Professional about it and just getting it off of his chest. And that’s just with his canon role as a Protector… If you view anything with, say, Gin as canon, he probably needs it even more. And I’m a sucker for Gin/Ink, so I like taking it into account, heh.

I think I may have read that one, too! I… Also cannot remember the title, though, whoops. But! I could see his abandonment issues (and probable RSD, at least in my opinion (no I’m not projecting hush-) because Look At Him) playing into how he takes all of this- And the entire thing combines with his other issues and the fact that protecting the Multiverse is kind of a Big Deal to him, and it all just. Really, really starts to weigh him down, I think. He’d be trying to go over everything he did- Wondering if he did something to make them think he hated being soulless, like you said, or how he led them to think that he needed saving from the Creators (which, maybe he does, just. Not like this), or how me screwed up so much that two of the people he bases his understanding of morals off of went off the deep end. Did he interfere too much? Is this going to happen to others? Was there a way he could have seen this coming and stopped it? Blue and Dream would probably hate that he’s thinking that way (and maybe it even feeds more into their delusions, because how could he think like that? It couldn’t be their fault, right? They’re in too deep now, they can’t just stop-), but Ink is gonna spiral into self hatred and spiral hard, no matter how you look at it.

Core deserved to go a bit feral and wreck havoc on people who hurt the ones they love. Just a little bit. You know. As a treat. For real though, they’re definitely the sort of threat you regret overlooking, because even if they, physically, cannot do anything to you, kiddo’s got Influence and Knowledge and probably a damn good Scary Face. They’re definitely gonna assemble the squad to get their artistic pal back.

Depending on how badly off Ink is in the moment (both emotionally and physically), Cross might actually start out as a necessary caretaker AND protector for him- No one wants to decide things For Him, given everything that happened, but also, if he’s refusing to take his vials and not letting himself feel or function, someone needs to try and make sure he’s at least semi-healthy, you know? Either way, given time and A Lot of healing, I definitely see it developing into a much healthier, much happier friendship and partnership- With Cross probably acting like a Big Brother sometimes, because you know, Oreo Bros. And by that I mean, once they regained their bond, he gleefully holds having almost an Entire Foot on Ink over his head, and stuff like that (let them tease each other and be goofballs, they need it-).

Core and Cross are just gently giving Ink hugs and head pats while Error is just that one video of the guy awkwardly petting the other guy with a broom. And Fresh, in my mind, has plenty of motive to keep Ink Alive and Kicking because, if the Protector is gone, the chances of his Primary Food Source dying out goes up. Also I just really like the dynamic he’d bring to this particularly chaotic table, it’d be fun.

AHAHAHAHA HES SUCH A FUCKIN MANBABY AND I LOVE IT. Tantrum throwing Error over what would, to other people, be Weird Shit is always just. So funny to me. If Blue and Dream do kidnap Ink, I imagine he’d be a likely source of rescue, because the indignity of Someone Else having the nerve to capture His Rival would drive him insane.

O O F. That’s a tough (and painful) one. My first thought is that, if they wish for Ink to have a soul, and to not be “burdened” with the role of Protector anymore, the Overwrite reconstructs his old soul and locks him back in his old, unfinished AU… With just the sketches and his own thoughts for company. Unless it erases his memories, I don’t imagine he’d cope well with the sudden onslaught of Feeling so much and being in his Worst Nightmare.

My OTHER thought is that they wish to be Ink’s “perfect protectors” or something along those lines, but without any real guidelines, so now everyone has to deal with Shattered Dream and a Much More Deadly Blue running around and refusing to let Ink go anywhere.

Alternately, it goes right… For them. By locking all three Stars in the Doodlesphere and rendering it impossible to breach. Talk about an opportunity to gaslight poor Ink.

YOU KNOW GIN LORE!?

I'm sorry for shouting at you like that- but I have not been able to find a single thing about Gin's lore! Like I have a name, that's all I know. All I know is his name and that he had a close bond with Ink, or something like that. I don't even know where to look for this man's lore, which sucks because he?? Looks cool to me??? And he's Ink's friend???? I genuinely don't even know what Gin's lore is or what AU he's from-

Okay so that either refers to Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy or rejection sensitivity, and honestly? I'm here for both of them (I have looked as their basic definitions and nothing more). I, too, suspect that I may have some problems when it comes to abandonment and rejection... but this isn't a therapy session and I'm trying to be mysterious about myself, so we won't dwell on that. I can get behind Ink spiraling into self-hatred, that's a whole mood. Also, I just feel like if Dream and Blue tried to reassure him that it wasn't his fault (and of course they would, why wouldn't they step in?), Ink wouldn't believe them. There's just no other explanation for it, to him. Especially if they were to try and explain their reasoning to him.

I want you to know that I read "artistic" as "autistic" and didn't bat an eye. That's some self-projection right there.

Ooo yes yes, I understand exactly what you mean! I can see Cross being a necessary caretaker for the time being, if only to keep Ink functioning. Also just to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything drastic, just as a precaution.

HJBVHHJBHJGG- Error with the broom?? Trying to comfort Ink by probing him with it?? Splendid imagery. He never learned how to comfort people, he's doing his best. He's improvising for the situation and I think that deserves some credit.

If Dream and Blue were to kidnap Ink, Error would be that one clip of the tank pulling right up to the house's door. I hope you know what I'm talking about, I think it's the perfect example of this. Error being a huge manbaby and having tantrums is something I live for, but it's so rare to find it in fanfics?? At least from my own experience. And I attribute that to the fact that Error's also greatly mischaracterized by a majority of the fandom as some sort of saint, but that's a topic for a different day.

(I will never want to rant about this.)

You know... I'm the one who suggested the hypothetical scenario, but you didn't have to assault me with that first interpretation /lh. My poor baby- especially because I'm pretty sure Ink doesn't actually remember anything from before waking up in the Anti-Void?? So he'd be confused and petrified, with no way of stopping his emotions or processing them. This also means that Broomie's gone for good, how could you do this Anon?

I do love me some Shattered content. Some nice Shattered and Ink interactions, we love to see it, love to see it. Some "nice" interactions. In this case, it's definitely a hostage situation, even before they hypothetically emerge victorious. Since Shattered now has tentacles, he can basically keep Ink restrained at all times, if he were to catch him. I can picture the scene: they use the OVERWRITE on themselves and, as soon as they do, Ink feels it. Something is wrong. So very wrong. The story- stories- they're different now. Something's gone wrong, he needs to fix it, but he's probably too bewildered by what he just witnessed to react properly. And for a little treat, just a little seasoning, imagine that he feels actual pain whenever something major like this- something so extremely off-script- happens. If the pain's great enough, it would render him stunned just long enough for the two to strike.

In the situation where they get locked in the Doodlesphere, I imagine there would be a scene where Ink's just processing everything. He's like "Creators... what the actual fuck?" The Creators really went to get the milk, huh?

Alternatively, Nightmare's probably just somewhere, eating popcorn while watching this whole thing go down from start to finish.

[bi-bard-reviews]

Album Review - Alligator Bites Never Heal by Doechii [2024]

Alligator Bites Never Heal by Doechii was released on August 30th, 2024. Since then, Doechii has won Best Rap Album at the Grammy's and each track has amassed millions of streams.

Now, I want to be honest. I do not commonly listen to rap (which is probably not surprising to anyone who has interacted with my content before). It's a genre that I have wanted to explore but have really struggled to find out where to start. It feels necessary to be open about that fact going into this review.

My attention was immediately caught by this album when I saw that it had 19 tracks, but it only ended up being about 47 minutes long. I was worried that this album could have felt rushed or that I would be left wanting more on certain tracks. I was happy that this album didn't feel either way.

I was happy to find that this album was a glowing example of completely understanding exactly how long a song needs to be in order to get the desired effect. It allows the album to flow together really well and feel incredibly cohesive while exploring many different vibes.

I loved how many different directions this album went in. Doechii is clearly not afraid to experiment and clearly knows what works for her. I don't think any of these tracks can really be confused with one another. Each one is distinct, yet the album still flows really well. I know that I've already mentioned that, but it feels important to point out as much as possible.

My personal favorites on the album were "BOILED PEANUTS", "CATFISH", and "WAIT". I can't really explain why this is without it all boiling down to them just tickling my brain right. "BOILED PEANUTS" could be my favorite song of the last year or so just for that reason. I know this is annoying to read when someone is reviewing an album, but come on, you aren't reading my account for some hard-hitting analysis of these projects. If I say that I liked a song just because it made my brain happy, then I feel like that's a valid perspective.

Overall, I found this album to be an incredibly fun listen. It is full of unique songs that hold the audience's attention throughout. Doechii might be one of the most interesting artists currently making music. I highly recommend that everyone give this album a listen. I have trouble thinking of a group that won't enjoy it.