#his origin also seemed to feature batman killing some guy

[wanderingmind867]

I actually read Roman Sionis's origin comic yesterday. Before, I'd only read wikipedia pages and summaries. But wow, Doug Moench pulled no punches. Roman Sionis is a broken man, neglected and taught to always put on masks in public. He killed his parents to win a woman's hand in marriage, but she walked out on him. Then he tried to revolutionise cosmetics, and he only disfigured some people. Then the fucking waynes steal his company from him! His company! His legacy! Everything he'd been told he deserved! Bruce Wayne stole from him, and didn't even think of his feelings! So Sionis goes to his family mausoleum, gets struck by lightning, breaks into his father's coffin, and then cries and gibbers for 5 straight hours. When he finally came to, he carved the coffin chunk into a face mask, and then sealed it onto his own face.

Roman Sionis is dead. There is only Black Mask. He was reborn! He is now Death. And using his False Face Society, he will get revenge on all those who made his life hellish. Target number 1: Bruce Wayne. God, I love Roman Sionis. He's a villain made for the 80s, as the cover art said. He disdains the superficial masks society forces us to wear. The excessive materialism and shallowness of the 80s, a shallowness that still exists today. He will expose it for the madness it is! Somehow, Roman Sionis is more sympathetic than Bruce Wayne. He just...he's a tragedy, and I love him.

[81scorp]

Constructive critiscism: Batman 1 to 4

Ah yes, Burtons and Schumachers Batman movies. Created in early 1939 by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, Batman, a man who fights crime dressed as a bat, has enjoyed great popularity and become a recognizeable character. He is so wellknown that you don`t even have to have read his comics to know who he is. Through out the years there have been several attempts at taking the adventures of the caped crusader out of their drawn, nonmoving, soundless original medium and bring them into the live action, moving, audible world of the cinematic medium.

In 1966 we had the Batman TV-series. The creators knew it was gonna be hard to have folks running around in colourful PJs and convince anyone over the age of 10 to take it seriously, so they just went for a fun, campy style.

Then in 1978 came the Superman movie. A movie still silly in some places but also sincere. It had some heartfelt and earnest moments that allowed you to take it seriously, and in a way, the same can be said about the Batman movie from 1989. These two movies are good examples for how to make good superheromovies. So, for future superheromovies, other filmmakers could look to these two for guidence, the blueprint was right there in front of them.

But in the 90s people seemed to have forgotten how to make movies like these. After Batman returns had gone a little too deep into Tim Burtonland the bigsuits at WB decided that the tone needed to be a little lighter for the next movie. On this point I agreed with them. They felt that they had to take it back to the campy style of the 1960s Batman series. On this point I disagreed with them. Dont get me wrong, I like the old campy Batman series, something about it felt more sincere than Schumachers Batman. It was made in a time when that was the best they could do. It took something that looked silly and played it very straight in an exaggerated, dramatic way. It reminds me of the comedy rule that the Zucker brothers had for "Airplane!": Deliver a funny line with a straight face. It had a kind of sincerity that the Schumacher Batman lacked. Schumacher`s Batman was made in a time when they knew that there were other ways to make superhero movies but decided not to. It was even made in a time when the animated Batman series existed, so, like I said earlier: the blueprint was right there in front of them.

The problem with the Schumacher Batman movies was not that they were trying to be live-action saturday morning cartoons. The problem was that they were trying to be live-action saturday morning cartoons and Tim Burton`s Batman at the same time.

Now, Ive been pretty harsh on Schumacher, who had to take a lot of crap for Batman and Robin when it came out, so now, with that out of the way, I want to come to his defense. I should point out that he did want to preserve the tone from the first two movies, but the executives at Warner Bros insisted that hed make it lighter and turn it into a feature-length toy commercial. And say what you want about Batman and Robin, but atleast it`s plot is not as messy as Batman V Superman.

Now, with that said, if I could run so fast that I could screw the laws of physics, travel backwards in time and change these movies, What would I have done differently?

Burton`s Batman

Tell me, have you ever danced with the SPOILERS in the pale moonlight?

Batman

Batman killing Ive talked about this in Batman V Superman and I should be consistent, so, no killing for Batman in this movie either. That scene where he blows up Jokers smilex factory? How about: that grenade that his car releases is a tear gas grenade that forces the Jokers henchmen to leave the factory where they are greeted by the GCPD. Im however, willing to make one exception to this rule: that bald guy in the clocktower. This was clearly a situation where Batman wasnt in full control and was forced to drastic measures. So Im willing to let this one slide.

Joker killing Bruces parents Didnt mind this when I was little but not everything has to be connected. His parentskiller should be an ordinary, nameless robber. I know, if Joker didn´t kill Bruces parents we wouldnt get the "I created you" speech at the end or the "Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?" line. But thats not really a great loss

On the fence: Killing Joker I understand why they killed off Joker and am kinda OK with it. But still, I can`t help with coming up with some ideas for what they could have done differently. How about: Joker falls but he has a parachute hidden on him that he opens up. But the wind grabs him and he lands in the Gotham river. They never find his body. Did he die? Did he survive? Who knows?

Batman Returns

Penguin being raised by penguins since he was a baby How the Penguins get him out of that basket? How did they raise him? I know, Im being nitpicky here, but still. How about: Oswald ran away from home when he was just 10 or 11 years old because his parents were cruel people who hid him away from the world because the were ashamed of his looks. He came to the Zoo, which was closed but he found a way in though the sewers. Thats where he met the penguins.

The way Selina Kyle falls through the awnings She falls through them like a hot knife through soft butter, a little too fast. She doesnt have nine lives, and I read that the filmmakers wanted her "deaths" to be ambiguous, something a normal human could survive. Her surviving this is a little hard to swallow. Maybe theres a way to have her fall through them a little slower but still keep it interesting and suspenseful. And then her fall could end with her landing in a big pile of garbage that softens her fall.

Penguin biting that guys nose I can see why this scared people and it wasnt really necessary. Lose it.

Batman killing Like I said before: Batman shouldnt kill. (Atleast not if hes in control of the situation.) That scene where he kills the big Muscleman with dynamite? How about this: First he throws the dynamite so that it lands somewhere where it does no harm to people. Then, when Batman meets the Muscleman he dodges his punches, pulls out a tazer and stuns him.

High-tech batarang I know what youre thinking: "But using High-tech gadgets is Batmans thing!" Yes, but a targetseeking, High-tech batarang? How about this instead: he uses an ordinary batarang, throws it at a crook, then, just as it returns to him a knife-thrower throws a knife that disrupts it`s trajectory, it falls on the ground and is picked up by the poodle.

Penguins "Youre just jealous because Im a real freak" line Yes, I know, its a small line and in this scene hes mad with rage and not thinking straight, but still. How about this instead: Penguin: "Youre the protector of Gotham! They don`t deserve protection! They deserve to BURN!"

Catwomans final death Yes, that scene where she gives Shreck the kiss of death. Sure, it looks cool but theres no way that she can survive that (and yet the movie decided that thats what she did). How about this: She kicks Shreck into the power generator, he is electrocuted, debris falls between Selina and Bruce, so it is impossible for him to see if she managed to escape or not. When the dust has settled Bruce finds only Shrecks burned corpse.

Schumacher`s Batman

Where does he get all those wonderful SPOILERS?

The tone Should`ve had the same tone as the animated series. I know they took some ideas from it, so why not the tone as well?

The look of Gotham These are supposed to take place in the same universe as the Burton Movies right? Lose the neon lights and keep the old look.

Batman Forever

The name of the movie I saw a video on youtube that explained the title*. Bruce was gonna hit his head and forget that he was Batman but then remember it again, realize that he was Batman… now and forever. But since that scene wasnt in the movie the title doesnt really have the same meaning or importance. Since this movie introduced Robin I`d call it: Batman and Robin.

Two-Face Lets say that you know nothing about Two-Face, dont worry, its explained early in the movie that he cant make up his mind without flipping his coin. Theres just one problem: in several scenes Two-face has made up his mind about something and is only waiting for the coin to land in a way that he prefers, like when he and Riddler breaks into Bruces mansion. He sits on a couch and flips the coin several times, gets disappointed when it ends on the good side up and keeps flipping it until lands on the evil side up. A comicbook accurate Two-Face would have accepted whatever side the coin landed on. I would also not make Two-Face so campy, but more like he was in the animated series.

Riddler I have nothing against Riddler being a campy villain, he would be a nice contrast to Two-Face who would be more serious. Buut… I think I`d remove him and replace him with Sal Maroni, the man who scarred Harvey Dent and turned him into Two-Face. Which brings me to my next point.

Two-Face killing Robins parents How about this: Before the big show Dick Grayson hears the owner of the circus talking to Sal Maroni. Sal Maroni gives him the old: "What a lovely circus you have, it would be a shame if something were to happen to it" speech. The circus owner gets angry and tells him to leave. Then later at the big show: a trapeze breaks and Dicks parents fall to their deaths. Bruce, seeing himself in Dick, takes him into his custody. it is revealed that the trapeze broke because someone had sabotaged it. Speaking of Robin, that brings me to my next point.

Robins age I`d cast a younger actor to play Robin. Old enough so that youd believe that hes 15 to 17 but young enough so that youd believe that he would need a legal guardian to take care of him. I dont know how old Chris O'Donnell was when this movie was made, but he looked like he was 20 to 25.

Chase Meridian Nothing against Chase Meridian and there is nothing wrong with creating a new, original character for the movie. Buut… I would like to bring back a familiar one, like Catwoman. After Dick has figured out that Bruce Wayne is Batman and that Sal Maroni murdered his parents it becomes a race between him and Two-Face over who gets to kill Maroni. Catwoman shows up in Gotham and helps Batman track down Robin to prevent him from killing Maroni. Two-Face has already found Maroni and flips his coin. Batman, knowing Two-Faces weakness, throws a roll of coins made to look like the one that Two-Face uses (but without the scarred side). Two-Face is devastated, he cant decide without his coin. Robin is there and wants to kill Maroni but Batman talks him out of it. Maroni is grateful and thinks hes off the hook but Batman tells him that hes going to jail. Bruce wants Selina to stay but she declines, this was just temporary, she doesn`t see herself as the hero type. She suggests that he teams up with "Boy Wonder over there" and leaves. Batman teams up with Robin and they become a crimefighting Dynamic Duo. The end… atleast for now.

Batman and Robin

The name of the movie Since I changed the name of Batman Forever to Batman and Robin I have to change the name of this one too. How about: Batman: Midwinter Knight.

Mr. Freeze Make him (and his outfit) more like the animated series, and he`s only allowed three ice-puns Max.

Poison Ivy Make her more like how she was in the animated series. She could start with human looking skin at first then gradually be more green as the movie progresses and her hair becomes more unkempt. Like a garden without a gardener. At first she wears green clothes but as the story progresses she gradually gets rid of more of her clothes and covers herself with leaves to show that she is distancing herself from humanity.

Bane When I first saw this movie I didnt know who Bane was because I had not read the Knightfall storyline. But now that I do know who Bane is I can say that the Character named Bane in this movie is not Bane, its the Hulk in an S&M outfit. Loose Bane and replace him with some henchmen.

The Bat-nipples and the Bat-creditcard Lose them. Instead of Batman and Robin being invited as honored guests to the auction they are waiting on the outside, on top of the roof, ready to (literally) drop in in case some criminals decide to show up and rob the place.

Making Barbara Alfreds niece This is my inner comicbook purist talking. How about: Bruce starts to notice that some nights there are reports of Batman showing up in a part of the city where he knows for a fact that he wasnt. Must be a copycat. One night Robin runs into thi mysterious copycat and discovers that it is a woman! Barbara Gordon to be precise, Commissioner Gordons daughter! She explains that she cant just sit at home at nights when crime is on the rise, and the reason she uses Batmans identity is because he is a symbol that the criminals fear. In a way she is "piggy backing" on his reputation. If this bothers Batman she is willing to invent a new costumed crime-fighting identity, but in the end Batman doesnt mind so she keeps using her Bat-themed identity. She modifies her cowl though so that people easier can tell the difference between her and Batman.

And that `s how I would do it.

I used Jokers "wonderful toys" line from the first Batman for my spoiler warning for the Schumacher movies because I couldnt remember any interesting, memorable lines from them.

It is of course very easy for me to write these because I have the luxury of hindsight. And unlike the filmmakers I dont have a movie studio breathing down my neck, forcing in unnecessary changes and pressuring me to get it made before a deadline. Im sure Schumacher could have made a great Batman movie if the studio had let him.

"Getting a movie made in Hollywood is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it." ―Douglas Adams

It`s a wonder any movies in Hollywood get made at all.

Started writing this 2024-02-03

I was gonna call this "Constructive criticism: Burton and Schumachers Batman" but from previous experience Ive learned that that title would be too long for DA. (Titles can be max 50 characters.)

*: "What Could Have Been: Tim Burton's Batman Forever" by Bullets and Blockbusters

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

Supergirl (1984) Jonah Hex (2010) Dragonball evolution The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense. 

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that. 

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later. 

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone). 

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways. 

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie! 

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway. 

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that. 

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality. 

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason. 

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough. 

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes. 

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away. 

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula??? 

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00. 

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

[preciousthingsareprecious]

That Time Tim Totally Terminated Ra's Al Ghuls Entire Empire Part 1

So. I wrote something very silly. The title says it all, except it doesn't because this bad boy spiraled out to being over 10k and deserving of 2 chapters. Anyway, here is the first chapter featuring all the times Ra's kidnapped Tim because he wanted to recruit him.

Summary:

"Let us not beat around the bush,” Ra’s started, after taking a sip from his tea, “I have brought you here to make you an offer.” Tim nodded, that was obvious enough. Ra's had no reason to kidnap him this time beyond something like this.

“As you know, I’m always on the lookout for enterprising young individuals with both leadership and fighting experience to join the League of Assassins. Right now I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect person to fill a brand new executive role in a new chapter of my organization.”

AO3 Link

~

Tim wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up in this situation. No really. One moment he’d been in Gotham, crouched behind an old BMW that had been in the same spot for a month, waiting on Batman’s signal, the next he’d woken up in some lavishly decorated room. Was that silk? Or maybe velvet? He had no idea what was hanging around the bed he was laying in, but Tim really didn’t care.

What he was concerned about was his own personal state. He raised his arms --that alone was a good sign-- and confirmed that his mask was in place. He pushed himself up on the ridiculously plush bed, -which was unreasonably plush by the standards of a kid who'd grown up rich, and then gone to live with a guy who had both more money and even better beds.

The point was, the bed was so soft Tim actually had a bit of trouble sitting up.

When he did manage to right himself, he finished taking stock of his own situation and his surroundings. His Robin uniform was intact aside from his belt, but he saw that set on a trunk that looked at least as old as Bruce, a few feet away. The room was, as he already determined, lavishly decorated.

Tim pushed himself out of the bed and onto a carpet so thick he kind of wanted to pull off his shoes and curl his toes in it, but seeing as he still had no idea where he was, who took him, or why, he figured that was probably out of the question. He did make a mental note to ask Bruce for some better carpet when he got home. As a kind of gift for surviving a very weird kidnapping.

Instead, he moved to walk carefully around the room. He found no obvious traps, no cameras or speakers or microphones that were either hidden or out in the open, and both doors were unlocked.

The first he opened revealed a bathroom. The second he cracked open to peer out of. His eyes locked on that of an honest to goodness ninja standing guard outside the door. The man locked eyes with him and Tim snapped the door shut with a click.

Welp, that answered the who and maybe even the where of Tim’s abduction. Ra’s Al Ghul. He was pretty sure if he gave the ninja ten minutes to go find Mr. al Ghul himself, he’d have the why too.

While he waited, Tim snapped his belt back around his waist, comfortable to have its weight back, even if being in a League stronghold meant all the tricks in his pockets were basically useless on his own. Still, it was nice to feel fully like Robin again.

After that it was a matter of waiting.

Tim paced an actual trench into the thick carpet as he waited. Batman was of course looking for him. That was a given, he just had to wait for the man to find him. Or for Ra’s to send him home? He really wasn’t sure why the Eco-terrorist would have taken him in the first place beyond a really weird obsession with Batman's various sidekicks.

How come all of Bruce’s baddies seemed to have a strange fixation on Robins? It was weird how many went out of their way to kidnap and attempt to recruit him, Dick, and if the stories were to be believed, Jason too.

Just as Tim was starting to turn that particular thought over in his head, the door to his room opened and Ra’s himself strolled in.

“Timothy.” the man drawled.

“Ra’s.” Tim replied, suddenly totally and completely unsure what to do with his hands, voice, feet, and general self. This wasn’t a fight after all.

He settled for crossing his arms and being terribly glad his domino hid his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here.” Ra’s said.

Tim shrugged, “It doesn’t take the world’s greatest detective to guess that.”

The man frowned at him, and Tim started to wonder if maybe he should be watching his words a bit. He wasn’t in Gotham with Batman at his back after all. But then again, Ra’s must need something from him right? So a little sass was okay, what was Robin without a smart mouth after all?

“I mean--” Tim started, unable to stop himself now that he was thinking about it, “I can probably start to guess. You didn’t kill me and I’m not in a dungeon so you’ve got to want something from me right? I bet this is some blend of trying to win me over and also hold me above Batman because you--” he paused for a moment trying to remember if Bruce had been on Ra’s’ trail at all lately.

He dropped his arms and clapped, remembering, “You’ve been trying to break into energy and you want Wayne Enterprise to back you and legitimize your business. So you’re holding Tim over Bruce, but you probably want Robin because you and like half of Batman’s rogues have this weird obsession with teen heroes for some reason."

At some point he’d stopped looking at Ra’s and actually started pacing again. When he stopped talking his feet stilled and he looked back up at Ra's and grinned, ""So, am I hot or freezing cold?”

He expected Ra's to looked angry or irritated, instead he looked amused.

“You are quite warm. Though I would contend the assertion that I have a weird obsession with teen heroes. I am only interested in the exceptional, and you Timothy, are exceptional indeed.”

Tim gulped, “I mean--not really? But thanks.”

Ra’s waved him off, “We will speak more later. You are correct, I do intend to use you as a bargaining chip against your guardian--”

“Dad.” Tim interjected.

The man raised an eyebrow but continued, “However you are not a prisoner in the traditional sense. You may wander the compound with one of my men by your side to ensure you do not get into trouble. If all goes well you will be returned to Batman within a reasonable amount of time. Unless, of course, you do decide you would like to stay and learn from me.”

“I don’t really see that happening.” Tim said, “But I'll be sure and let you know if I make a sudden turn towards world domination.”

Again, Tim expected some kind of retaliation, but he was thankfully ignored. Ra’s left him with a warning not to cause undue trouble and soon Tim was alone in the room again.

He spent the next couple days wandering the compound somewhat aimlessly. He had a phone call with Bruce where he promised his dad that he was totally fine if a little bored, and spent the rest of his time trying to avoid Ra’s. The man was kind of relentless in his attempts at winning Tim over to his side and sought him out at meals, when Tim was trying to train a bit at one of the many gyms, and even once while Tim was wandering a rather fantastic garden. Each time, Tim did his best to wiggle out of the man's suggestions and just get back to wiling away the time between then and getting home.

Thankfully, it was all over in four days when Batman came crashing in with Nightwing and Batwoman to rescue him, and soon Tim was home and settling back into normal life.

He’d actually almost forgotten about the whole Ra’s kidnapping him until it happened again. Once had been a surprise, two times was starting to look deliberate.

This one lasted a week with Ra’s claiming it was because he still really wanted that energy deal and he just couldn’t understand why Bruce wasn’t willing to trade that for his ward (son Tim had ground out in irritation).

Tim almost believed him, until he woke one morning to find a pamphlet had been slipped under his door, it was literally a flyer promoting hiring in the League. Tim looked over it and had to laugh out loud. The text was done in a mix of papyrus and other fonts and whoever made it had used clip art. It looked like someone had typed it up in Microsoft word in like half an hour.

He spent the rest of his time there re-designing the flyer, with a ninja hanging over his shoulder as he used one of the League computers. The new one wasn’t the best flyer in the world, but Tim was pretty proud of it, and it was much better than the first draft.

When he was done, he pocketed the original, then pinned a note to the new one that said: Ha! Not until you get better designers.

Batman rescued him again, and Tim pushed the double kidnapping and Ra’s’ weird obsession to the back of his mind until the next time he was with Steph.

They were in the manor watching a Chopped marathon and Tim was telling her about both kidnappings.

“So he’s super into energy? How come he didn’t nab Dick? We all know he’s Bruce’s favorite.” Steph teased, popping a chip into her mouth.

“Setting aside that obvious lie, that’s the thing,” Tim continued, digging out the flyer he’d kept, “It has nothing to do with energy or Dick. I’m pretty sure Ra’s is trying to recruit me.”

He showed her the paper and Steph snorted, spraying chips out as she laughed, “No. Freaking. Way. I have to tell Cass. Let me show her this, please I’m begging you.”

Tim groaned, “Yeah, sure, but don’t you think it’s weird?”

She shrugged, taking the flyer to look it over, “Of course, but the B-man attracts weird like ice cream dropped on the ground attracts ants. Give him six months, and Ra’s will move onto a different way of trying to piss off Batman.”

“I hope so.” Tim said.

The third time Tim woke up in the elaborate room he was getting really sick of the decor and the headache that came with being knocked out and dragged halfway across the world.

“You know.” Tim started, the moment Ra's walked into his room (and it was actually Tim’s room he’d learned from one of the ninja guards), “You could have waited a month this time, to at least pretend this wasn’t all about your super weird plan to try and convince me into letting you adopt me.”

Ra’s opened his mouth to respond, but Tim wasn’t done.

“Which, by the way, I’m taken already. B did the whole adopting thing, so you missed that window. Though, I guess that probably doesn't really matter to you in the grand scheme of things since you keep kidnapping me. You are aware that kidnapping isn’t the best way to convince someone that your way is the right one, right?”

“Also, would it kill you to pick up some --I don’t know-- books on recruitment or something? I don’t understand how you’ve managed to get so many guys on your side it’s--” Tim started, but Ra’s had caught on to Tim’s mood at this point, conceded temporary defeat, and made a hasty retreat.

Tim didn't see him the whole rest of the day, and by the next morning Batman showed up, swinging in for another rescue and all was fine and good and normal for a while.

Until, of course, it wasn’t.

It was the fourth kidnapping that really set Tim off.

He woke up back in that stupid room with it’s stupid decor and those stupid posters ready to burn the place to the ground. But something stopped him, a premonition. Like if he was patient for just a little longer he’d find a good and proper form of revenge to take on Ra’s for his total inability to take a hint.

At some point two ninja came by to take Tim to meet with Ra’s. As they walked Tim couldn’t help but notice the posters literally lining the hallways they walked through.

They were of two wildly different styles, but both struck a thought of familiarity in his mind. One was obviously a play on the classic “I want you in the army” poster. The other ripped off old “pin up” recruitment posters. Both made him laugh, and Tim pulled a couple of each down to save to show the Titans. He had a feeling Bart and Kon would lose their minds over these.

He had just folded them up and shoved them in his back pocket when they reached an office. Inside, Ra’s sat in a chair and motioned Tim to sit in one across from him.

“Thank you for joining me, Timothy.”

Tim sat and shrugged, “Not like I had much of a choice.”

Ra’s waved him off. As he did, a different ninja from either of the ones who’d escorted Tim to the office came in with a tray of tea. He handed Ra’s a cup, then gave one to Tim, and left the set on a table between them.

The whole vibe was kind of awkward and strange. Tim felt very much like he had one time a year ago when he’d realized halfway through a date that things were not going to work out. He hadn’t been able to end the date then and there, and had spent another two hours awkwardly making small talk and trying to avoid promising a second date.

“Let us not beat around the bush,” Ra’s started, after taking a sip from his tea, “I have brought you here to make you an offer.”

Tim nodded, that was obvious enough. Ra's had no reason to kidnap him this time beyond something like this.

“As you know, I’m always on the lookout for enterprising young individuals with both leadership and fighting experience to join the League of Assassins. Right now I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect person to fill a brand new executive role in a new chapter of my organization.”

Tim took a sip of his tea in an attempt at avoiding having his mouth drop open in shock. Ra’s sounded like something out of a “Executive success seminar” that was just a veiled multilevel marketing scheme.

“To put it plainly, Timothy, I want you to become my apprentice. I know you and assume you might be hesitant to accept this lifestyle so I’ve prepared for you something of a presentation on what that might entail.”

Tim couldn’t stop a laugh from bursting out of him, but he did manage to turn it into a kind of cough.

“Wait--wait.” he said, almost choking on his tea, “Are you about to show me a powerpoint?”

Ra’s looked a bit put out at that suggestion, almost like he wanted to sigh, “Of course not, it’s more interactive than that.”

Tim held up his free hand, incredulous, “Is this--a job interview Ra’s? I thought you were pitching this to me.”

“No, no. It’s an interactive presentation designed to show you just what you have to gain from joining me.” Ra’s explained, as he did so Tim took another sip of his tea.

He lifted his cup and waved it lightly, “Oh yeah, so I’m just in one of those fairy tales then where you make me do three impossible tasks and at the end I get the happily ever after dip in the lazarus pit?”

“It’s only one trial--”

“So it is a task!” Tim declared, almost standing.

“Timothy.” Ra’s snapped, sounding a bit like Bruce whenever Tim and Steph’s antics pushed him a bit too far.

Tim crossed his legs and leaned back into the chair, “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Irritating the man was a bad idea, Tim knew that, but this was just ridiculous. He wasn’t going to be sent on a wild quest that might end up with him dunked in a Lazarus Pit or whatever else Ra’s had in mind that would supposedly prove how great it would be to work for him.

“If you are not going to take this seriously, then there are other ways of showing you why joining me is a good idea that are not nearly as pleasant.” Ra’s growled.

Tim held up his free hand, “I’d rather not find out, give me your pitch or send me off with your best ninja or whatever you were planning.”

He figured playing along would work for now. He could put off giving Ra’s an answer until Bruce came in for a third rescue. When he was home, they were going to have a serious conversation about ninja proofing the manor. Ra’s could not keep kidnapping him like this, they had to have some kind of security measures in place.

“Wonderful. I’m sure after your tour you’ll have a better understanding of what I have to offer you.”

Tim ended up following someone Ra’s called his “best general” around the compound for an hour. The guy showed Tim the training rooms, the medical suite, sparring rings, a variety of ninja’s actually practicing, and at one point they even ended up in the library. The general had been given instructions to pause anywhere Tim wanted him to, and so they lingered in the library for a bit.

He had to admit, Ra’s had a fantastic library.

The general didn’t seem worried about Tim getting lost, or escaping, and waited by the door while he wandered the massive room.

And boy was it huge. It was bigger than the main floor of the cave, with stacks and stacks of books on two floors. Some of the volumes looked ancient, and there were even scrolls shelved on the second floor.

He gingerly pulled one out to examine.

“That is worth more than you could ever imagine.” a sharp, young voice, declared, behind him.

Startled, Tim dropped it back onto the shelf and spun. Before him stood a kid, probably 8 years old, with tousled dark hair, dark skin, and a face that almost echoed some of Bruce’s school photos. It was startling.

“Hi.” Tim said, dumbly, “I know, it’s Ancient Sumarian right?”

“Tt.” the boy crossed his arms, “You are not an idiot then.”

Tim shook his head, “Nah, apparently I’m smart enough to be selected for recruitment.”

The kid nodded, “So you are Grandfather’s young detective. He speaks highly of you.”

Grandfather? Tim’s brain spun. This kid was Ra’s al Ghul’s grandkid? He ran the numbers, the kid’s mom was either Talia or Nyssa. If he had to put money on it, Tim figured the boy before him looked more like Talia than her sister. And his other features--like Bruce’s?

No.

No.

No. Freaking. Way.

“That is hardly language to use here.” The boy said, arching an eyebrow at him.

Tim hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud, but apparently his surprise had been so great he had. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, I just never expected Ra’s to have a grandkid.”

“It is not surprising to me, I am his heir. Born to inherit the League and rule the world one day.”

Okay, that was a lot to unpack. Just a totally wild amount, but Tim wasn’t super focused on the world domination thing just yet (maybe later when he had a chance to process all of--well, all of it), “Sorry to keep pressing but, doesn’t having an heir kind of--I don’t know, put his whole Eternal Ruler of the League thing in jeopardy?”

“Tt. It is not my place to question my Grandfather’s plans. I simply know what I have been told, that I will inherit the League one day in his stead.”

“Well,” Tim rocked back on his heels casually and grinned, “That might be a long loooong time.”

The kid’s brows furrowed as if he had not really considered that idea before. He opened his mouth to say something else, but seemed to decide against it, dropping his arms to his sides to shrug, “If that is his wish then so be it.”

“True.” Tim said, not really knowing what to say. Instead he settled on changing the subject, “You know, if your grandfather gets his way I’ll be spending more time here, so I guess introductions are in order. I’m Timothy Drake-Wayne, but most people just call me Tim.”

He held his hand out to the kid, smiling at him. If he really was Bruce’s then they’d be getting to know each other for sure. Just not here. Tim had zero intentions on letting Bruce’s child stay with the League. Did B he even know he had a kid? Tim thought he’d better figure that out first before kidnapping his little brother.

Little brother. Just that idea made something flutter in Tim’s chest. He’d always wanted a little brother.

The boy scowled at his hand, and did not take it, “You may be correct, even if I do not see what Grandfather seems to. I am Damian al Ghul, heir to the Demon’s Head.”

Tim bit back a grin at just how serious this kid was. He sounded like a little prince, all imperious and haughty. Damian, even his name fit him. He wondered how Damian would do around Dick? Or Stephanie. They’d figure out how to bring a smile out of him.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Damian.” Tim said, “I know we’ve really only just met, but I’m sure you’ll see what Ra’s does in time.”

Damian looked him over again, then gave a sharp nod, “I am interested in seeing what you have to offer.”

“Damian, I found it, where’d you go?” A voice sounded from deeper within the stacks.

Tim started at the sound of the voice. He knew it. Knew it from nights spent chasing shadows, from recording’s Bruce had watched a hundred times when he didn’t think Tim was watching. From Tim’s own desire to know and learn more about his predecessor. It was Jason Todd’s voice.

But that couldn’t be. Jason was dead.

“I am coming.” Damian returned, his tone more childlike than Tim had heard in their whole conversation. He turned back to Tim, “Do not ruin that scroll, I will see you later.”

Then he spun on his heel and walked away.

Tim stepped forward, reaching out for the kid, “Wai--”

“Master Tim, we really must be going.” Tim’s guide was back, stepping into his view as if from nowhere, and stopping Tim’s chase as short as it had been.

“Can we wait just one more second?” he asked, “I wanted to ask Damian something else.”

The man’s mouth turned down in a frown, “I do not have clearance to let you speak with Master Damian. Come, we have more to see.”

Frustration bubbled up in Tim, but unless he wanted to start a fight he wasn’t going to get a chance to talk to Damian right then. The kid had promised to see him later, so maybe he’d seek Tim out. If not, Tim would find a way.

As he followed the man out of the library, he kept searching the stacks of books for a sign of the others. It wasn’t until they’d left the room that Tim caught sight of Damian again, his small form waving animated at a taller, broader one. One that, while older, was unmistakably Jason.

Before Tim could say screw everything, the two turned around a corner, and someone else was clearing their throat. His guide seemed eager to move on, and so they did.

Tim tuned out most of the rest of the tour, and eventually found himself back in the office from before, once again seated across from Ra’s.

“Timothy, I hear you have met my grandson on your tour.” Ra’s started.

“I did.” Tim said, a bit hesitant to go into detail, his guide had seemed like talking to Damian was a pretty serious thing, and suddenly Tim was afraid he’d gotten the kid in trouble.

Ra’s smiled, “He is magnificent is he not? Already he is a skilled warrior, and well trained in his studies.”

“He said he was your heir?” Tim ventured.

The man waved a hand dismissively, “Of course he is, he is my grandson, but that does not mean he will inherit. The boy is valuable to me, for many reasons. He is an excellent tool to wield against my enemies already, and will only become more so as he grows.”

Anger bubbled up in Tim. There was something in Ra’s’ tone that made Tim sick, to call a kid a tool. To plan to just use him his whole life?

“And what, do you want to do that with me too? You said you wanted me to be your apprentice, but if your Heir is just a tool then--”

“No, as I said I want you to take over a branch of the League. You have talents and skills Damian will not. The boy is--” Ra’s shrugged, “Let us call him a vessel. A shell for me to wield in one way or another.”

Well, that just made Tim even more angry. Damian was his grandkid. What Tim wouldn't have given to still have his grandparents, and for Ra’s to just--If Tim wasn’t already dead set on getting Damian home, he would be after this conversation.

“You know what, Ra’s. Let me think on it a while. I’ll get back to you on my answer. I kind of want to see Damian in action a bit, learn what this training looks like in someone closer to my age.”

The man considered this for a moment before nodding, “I will let you watch his sparring session tomorrow. For now, I think we’re done. Have a good evening, Timothy.”

Tim nodded, and left. His mind was racing, he wanted another look at Jason. Wanted to tell Damian about his dad. Wanted to make sure both his brothers were okay.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he missed the black and blue clad arm that reached out from behind a curtain and yanked him back. Nightwing put a hand over Tim’s mouth to quiet him, and then pulled him out the window the curtain had been hiding. They dropped, into nothing--except it was solid?

Tim found himself inside the invisible jet. Inside, and flying away from his newly discovered siblings before he could even argue they needed to be rescued too.

One flight with Wonder Woman and Nightwing later, and Tim was home again, being told in stern tones by both Batman and Nightwing that he really needed to stop allowing himself to be kidnapped by ninjas (like he didn’t know that).

Then he was in his room, in bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind whirring. He had learned two things on this trip. Two impossible things. Two things he was going to leverage as soon as he could.

It was late, and he should be sleeping, but instead he texted Steph and Cass in their little group chat.

Tim: Want to cause some chaos?

Immediately he received a response:

Steph: Always

Cass: Who are we going after?

Tim smiled, his fingers dancing over his phone:

Tim: Ra’s.

Cass: Time to teach him a lesson?

Steph: I've been waiting for this, I’ll get the kerosene

Tim: There’s more.

Cass: Tell.

The light flashed on out in the hallway, Tim could see it flicker to life under his door.

Tim: Tomorrow, lunch at that place with the sweet potato fries. Come ready to plan a kidnapping or two.

The next day Tim found both Steph and Cass waiting eagerly for him at the restaurant, a heaping plate of sweet potato fries between them.

“Spill, Bird Brain.” Stephanie said, as he sat down, pushing some fries towards him, “I want to hear everything about this crusade against Ra’s.”

Tim rolled his eyes, and snagged a fry, dipping it in one of the sauces they’d gotten to accompany it.

“As you’ve probably already guessed, I had another visit to the League compound yesterday.” Tim started, “It was more of a day trip this time, but Ra’s did his very best to sell me on signing up.”

“More posters?” Cass guessed, then shook her head seeing Tim’s expression, “What did he do?”

Tim snagged another fry, “Yes more posters, but more than that he gave me a speech right out of a How to Recruit for Dummies book, then sent me on a tour of the building.”

Steph snorted, “Please tell me you recorded it.”

“I did not, but you will never believe what I found on my tour, or to be precise who.”

Both girls paused their snacking, waiting on him to continue.

Tim dropped the first bomb, “Jason Todd, alive and breathing.”

“What, no way.” Steph said, “How’d he even get there? I thought He was buried here?”

He shrugged, “I don’t have any of the details, but they’ve got a Lazarus pit, and Ra’s is weirdly obsessed with recruiting Robin’s, so I’d say his resurrection tracks.”

“Who else was there?” Cass asked, brow furrowed.

Now this he knew neither of them would be expecting. Tim hadn’t expected it. He still couldn’t believe it.

“Ra’s al Ghul’s grandson, Damian.” Tim said, watched both girls look even more confused, then added, “The son of Bruce and Talia. At least, I’m pretty sure he’s their kid.”

The fry Stephanie was holding dropped out of her hand.

Tim watched Cass processing the information, saw her realization that there was another child being raised in the League, then saw the determination cross her face at her own personal decision.

“We are taking them both, correct?” Cass asked.

“We’re taking them both, and burning the place down.” Tim confirmed, “That should properly pay him back for all the time’s he’s kidnapped me this year.”

Steph’s lips turned up into a sharp grin, “The law of equivalent exchange.”

Tim laughed, “You’ve been watching too much tv.”

“It’s prepped me for this very moment.” she shot back, voice falsely grave.

“Batman prepared you for this very moment.” Cass elbowed her.

“No.” Tim said, “I’m going to prep you. And then we’re going to put everything in action.”

They talked, and planned, and debated the pros and cons of letting Tim get nabbed again over just going himself, and eventually after many many sweet potato fries and sodas they were ready.

It was to be infiltration first, fire and kerosene second. Obviously the place was going to go up, but only after they set the stage for rebellion and convinced Damian and Jason to go home with them. Tim didn’t think it’d be a hard sell for Jason, but the kid was another matter altogether. If Tim couldn’t convince him to come along, they may actually end up having to kidnap Damian.

A key to the plan was that only Tim, Steph, and Cass were in on it. There was no way Bruce was giving the green light for such a thing. Besides, Tim wanted to see his face when they presented him with not one, but two, rescued sons from the League.

Over the next week Tim made himself the most kidnappable he’d ever been. He wandered outside, kept to himself, and tried to look as wide eyed as possible. He lingered in parking lots, and took shortcuts down empty alleyways. Basically, he did everything he could to signal he was alone and vulnerable besides hanging a sign around his neck that said “Take me to your (ninja) leader”.

At one point he even stopped, dead center in the middle of an alley and declared, “Wow this sure is a dangerous place to be! I hope I don’t get attacked and kidnapped by ninjas!”

The only response he got that time was from an older woman who stopped at the edge of the alley and very seriously called out, “Careful, young man. Don’t you know there are killer clowns out? You best be on your way before you get hurt.”

Then, at long last, Tim caught sight of one of the League members ducking behind a shadow. He paused his walk, and leaned over as if fascinated by something on the sidewalk in front of him. By the time he’d stood, the ninja was in front of him.

Tim held up his hands in surrender, doing his best not to actually look excited. Then, he was successfully kidnapped for the fifth --and if Tim’s plan worked successfully-- final time.

[scorpionyx9621]

While the art is left to be desired (i'm hope i use this ohrase right, my english is awful). I suprised that i found future state!Jason to be more enjoyable than Urban Legend one. Like he's way more capable there and [spoiler alert] also Bruce depend on him and still call him son? So you can have a bad ass Jason and good son jason at the same time.

So I need to apologize because this turned into a rant about Jason's characterization as whole and MAN is it long-winded and I'm sorry.

I have to agree. I really like the characterization Future State/Dark Detective is going for with Jason.

Jason is still the typical Jason we've grown to expect. Cold, cynical, snarky, willing to cross the dark red line and kill if need be, but he's still shown to have emotions. When he's betraying the family it's vocalized by Jason that he's upset about the situation. He doesn't want to, but he must for the mission Bruce put him under.

Truth be told, I'm not fully caught up on Future State/Dark Detective. I've kind of been reading spoilers and just getting the general gist in the periphery from people like you on Tumblr. I've been more focused on Urban Legends, which, while I will say I still don't hate the story, hell we still have two issues left of Cheer, and I by no means think Chip Zdarsky is a bad writer by any means. His characterization of Jason irks me.

*God I was so on the fence about Eddy Barrow's take on Jason until Issue #3. That right there? THAT. That's a handsome ass man Maurry*

ANYWAYS: I'm irked by Zdarsky's take on Jason just because of how hot headed and brash Jason is. Now don't get me wrong, every main writer for Jason has taken a bit of a different spin and while the big characters who have written Jason (Judd Winnick, Scott Lobdell, Tony Daniel) and while Zdarsky seems to be what I'm hoping to be a bit of a medication of Jason & Bruce's relationship. He's doing it at the expendature of Jason's characterization of being a damn near criminal mastermind.

If we focus on Winnick and Daniel's interpretation of Jason (Winnick wrote the original Under the Hood & Lost Days. Daniels wrote Battle for the Cowl) as well as all Pre-New 52 versions of Jason. Jason is a monster. Like genuinely a horrible human being. He still fights for right moral side (he kills mostly child abusers/drug traffickers and the likes) but this Jason is genuinely unhinged and while smart, he's absolutely monster. Hell, in Battle for the Cowl after hearing Bruce's final words, he has a villainous breakdown. Dresses as batman, and starts killing people. Judd Winnick himself said he sees Jason as a 'Psychopath' and there are a lot of very vocal people who say Winnick's original interpretation of Jason as a violent, misanthropic villain is the superior version and that Jason should return to this.

*I love to point out that I made a post on my alt account questioning Jason's age in this issue. Turns out he's Like SEVENTEEN. I get why they draw him older and more mature because of his darker/more villainous tendencies. But there's something kind of True Crime Podcast host fascination I have with this greasy, crusty, 17 year old who just casually kills 30 mobsters in horrific gun violence and calls it a day.*

Then we have the New 52. And in comes Red Hood & The Outlaws + the eventual Red Hood: Outlaw series. Piloted by the one Scott Lobdell. Now I know a lot of people dislike Lobdell for his takes on certain characters, his all-over-the-place writing style. (Let's not forget his allegations of SA and the fact that he openly admits that he wrote Jason as a self-insert for a 'bad guy seeking redemption') this was my first comic experience with Jason and to be honest, I can't bring myself to hate it. Sure there's some parts that literally show how much of a dumpster fire Lobdell's writing can become, but for the most part I genuinely liked the characterization of Jason that Lobdell gives. Jason may be a bit more reactionary and just kind of making shit up as he goes along, but he's far from dumb. The intro to the series has Jason sneaking into a terrorist run nuclear sub and killing everyone inside.

Again: Lobdell's writing is all of the place. But I do like that his take on Jason is a bit more subdued. I know in the New 52 they wanted to make Jason an Anti-Hero. Someone who very much still driven by emotion and revenge. But he's definetly more relaxed and even has a lot of fun. Intelligence wise he has is moments, but it does emphasize that while he may be the best read Robin, he does have a tendency to leap before he looks. Also all the art for RHATO with the exception of a few series were TOP TIER. I understand why they hired artists like Kenneth Rocafort and Dexter Soy to rehabilitate his image. I mean, come on.

Now if we're talking about Jason's intelligence, I'd be absolutely remiss if I didn't discuss Red Hood: Outlaw and the Price of Gotham Arc. Specifically this exchange between Bruce & Jason. To me, this is the single best part of Lobdell's run and shows Jason's true intelligence.

To give a rundown: After Bruce banished Jason from Gotham after seemingly killing the Penguin. Bruce proceeded to find Jason and literally beat him to within an inch of his life. It took MONTHS for Jason to recover. A lot happens but mostly Jason finds out (from Bruce no less) that Penguin is still alive. Jason hatches a devious plan. He takes over the iceberg lounge, kidnaps and holds Penguin hostage. Publically outs himself as Jason Todd, the dead ward of Bruce Wayne, as alive and well, and the new owner of the Iceberg Lounge.

When Bruce finds out he's clearly pissed and goes to confront Jason because he's banished him from Gotham. But because Jason outed himself as alive and one of Bruce's sons. Batman can do NOTHING. Jason has Bruce by the balls. If Bruce does anything to Jason while he's out and alive as Jason, all Jason has to do is tell the truth. And the whole Batman jig is up in an instant. And Bruce? After these panels? He runs off with his tail between his leg because he can't touch Jason. And all Jason did was capture penguin, and come out as alive. THIS is the Jason that I love. This is the Jason that strikes fear into people's hearts.

I think a lot of the general complaints we see about Jason as a whole is just how inconsistent he is with his writing. Which I agree. It's hard to characterize Jason well when there's been a character like Lobdell who was at the Helm of Jason's character for 10 years and then forced to leave. And I don't really know if DC has any really solid plans for his character and development. There's a lot of hype surrounding the end of Cheer and them saying it'll 'change Red Hood & Batman's relationship forever' as well as with Jason being featured in the new Suicide Squad coming this August, and Jason getting a feature in an issue of Robin. It'll be interesting to see where they take the character. Personally I do want a resumption of Jason. But like Harley Quinn where they're taking their sweet time redeeming her. Jason has done A LOT of awful things and of they wanna make him a hero, I want a few years to pass in terms of monthly issues before we see Jason become a hero again.

*edit: spelling*

[magnificent-nerd]

Why Naqib in The Boys sucked

Image description: fictional character Naqib in Amazon Prime’s show The Boys.

(Is the fire in the background an excuse to use racist Yellow Filter to show how exotic he is? Hmm.)

I first posted this on my blog in Dec 2020, and since nothing in superhero media has changed for the better at this time (September 5th, 2021), I’m going to keep talking about it.

Because nobody else does. So, without further ado:

WHY NAQIB SUCKS.

I was a big fan of The Boys season 1; I love superheroes, I love deconstructing a genre. Sure, it has its problems, but overall I enjoyed season 1 and thought the show had potential.

(That’ll learn me for being hopeful!)

When season 1 ended with this big build up of mostly nameless brown and background characters as Muslim terrorists (deep sigh) we the audience are left thinking this one Muslim character (Naqib) whose superpower is to blow himself up repeatedly (insert another long deep sigh here) is going to be The Big Bad of season 2.

I had my misgivings about that direction. Firstly, as you can see from the image of Naqib, he is highly exoticised and is walking around bare chested with Arabic writing on his chest. He looks more like a generic western media depiction of a genie than he does a supervillain. 

And yet he's the first prominent Muslim character in superhero media I've seen in YEARS.

-

(See my post about MENA and Muslim character good guys, including Joe played by Marwan Kenzari in The Old Guard, which is technically a comic book movie but it’s not what I’d call ‘caped and costumed’ superheroes so it’s more... superhero adjacent.)

I follow superhero content closely and as far as I'm aware the last time we saw any named Muslim characters in superhero movies WITH SPEAKING LINES was:

Instance 1) Iron Man 1 back in 2008 with The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, showing multiple Muslim characters as baddies/terrorists, but only two of them as a named character and with any meaningful lines to say. And despite one of them, Yinsen (actor Shaun Toub), being a good guy he still dies! Which is common in western media for Muslim and MENA characters.

Note: Fellow Iron Man 1 castmate, actor Sayed Badreya, makes an important point in this GQ article: "I die in Iron Man, I die in Executive Decision. I get shot by everyone. George Clooney kills me in Three Kings. Arnold blows me up in True Lies…" (x)

Instance 2) A more recent instalment in Batman V. Superman in 2016, with some unnamed 'General' character and mercenaries/terrorists in Nairomi, Africa, referred to only as "the desert" throughout the movie. All reference to the General's actual name are available in an extended/deleted scene only, so a very poor and vague depiction in the final cut.

Instance 3) The generic and badly written ‘bad guys’ in Wonder Woman 1984 (2020 movie), which was honestly such a racist depiction of Arabs and Muslims that many critics pointed out we hadn’t seen a depiction this terrible since 1994′s True Lies. (At least most critics were in agreement that WW84 movie was generally terrible, so there’s that.)

And that's it, those are the only major instances showing any Muslim actors or characters in a caped and costumed superhero movie. 

Some other fleeting glimpses of Muslims onscreen:

Glimpse 1) I spotted a girl wearing a hijab among the nameless and unspeaking background characters of Peter Parker's class in Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019). A first for Marvel movies, apparently.

Glimpse 2) Disney Plus show Falcon and Winter Soldier (2021) had two nameless Muslim characters walk by in a scene that’s supposed to be Tunisia (using Yellow Filter), and ‘thank’ the present American Air Force (eye-roll).

Glimpse 3) Netflix show Jupiter’s Legacy (2021) had a nameless Muslim sailor conversing with one of the main characters in a scene, with meaningful dialogue about racism. (WOW. Really good.) Bonus: no yellow filter. It’s a pity he’s a nameless background character because this brief instance is the least problematic MENA rep I’ve seen in ages, but it is very brief.

I just wrote about Glimpses 2 and 3, and how the Netflix show outdid Disney when it comes to these nameless walk-on Muslim characters.

This is pretty pathetic overall, these small crumbs, especially compared to better rep and probably the only instance of legit MENA superheroes in a ‘costumes and capes’ style superhero show, the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

-

Anyway, now I’ve listed what crumbs are available across the live action superhero genre, back to The Boys.

I was intrigued about how season 2 would handle Naqib and any characters relating to him, and what storyline they'd use. 

Was I excited at the possibility of seeing Muslim supers onscreen? Damn straight I was. Did I mind that they were baddies? Well, yes and no. When you only ever get crumbs or no crumbs at all, you tend to get excited over one stale old crumb.

After the build up for season 2, I eagerly sat down to watch the first episode, only to have the first five minutes of episode 1 Trigon him.

Note: who's Trigon, you ask? Well if you didn't watch the DCEU's Titans show, Trigon was The Big Bad who was hyped up throughout season 1, introduced in the season 1 cliff-hanger episode as this big 'oh shit!' moment for the cast of heroes, only for him to fizzle out like a wet fart in the first episode of season 2 while the show pivots wildly in another direction. 

Exactly what happened to Naqib in the first five minutes of The Boys season 2.

Erm, so, Naqib. Farewell, I guess? As a character you briefly appeared in 2 episodes, portrayed by a different actor in each (Krishan Dutt, and Samer Salem). It seems the writers used you as a plot device when they needed a cheap cliff-hanger for a direction that ultimately went nowhere.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, I am. Overall I thought season 2 of The Boys was weaker than season 1, but I'm not here to talk about the whole season: I want to talk about Naqib and this missed opportunity.

The Boys and its showrunners sell the show as being a satire of recent and well known superhero content, of all the big movies and TV shows. There's been a lot of patting themselves on the back for calling out overused tropes in superhero media (and sometimes they've done this satire well: see the LGBT marketing scene with Queen Maeve in season 2), but my issue with the show on their Muslim rep, or should I say lack thereof, is if your show has even less Muslim character rep than the content you're trying to parody, how is this a win for satire?

Naqib and that whole angle came across as a lazy, half-assed swing from the writer's room. Sure, perhaps a lot of the non-Muslim and non-MENA audience won't even notice, as we've been ignored by western media or made into nameless, generic, vacuous baddies for decades now. Non-Muslims and non-MENA just accept that we're always the baddies for no particular reason at all (which feeds into Islamophobia, by the way) and The Boys' writers could say they are simply satirising the tropes already present in media...

But, and this is a big but, the media that The Boys is satirising has already made a step toward better inclusion and representation: Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Marvel comics' first Muslim superhero, is entering the MCU as a lead character in her own Disney Plus show, debuting in 2022. 

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan is also cited to appear in upcoming Captain Marvel sequel, The Marvels (2022), which will be a major movie.

The MCU has also cast a Muslim actor (Mahershala Ali) as the lead in a reboot of Blade. That's going to be big news when it starts filming.

So to the showrunners on The Boys, I say this: now you've done this small angle of 'all Muslim characters are terrorists, yuckity-yuck!' like we've seen in major superhero movies thus far, and you've brushed that aside in favor of focusing on other whiter villains, my question is will you come back to Muslim and MENA characters again? Or is that all you got?

Because if that was ALL, then the current score is Disney/MCU:02, Netflix:02, DCEU:02, and The Boys: a big ZERO as far as Muslim and MENA rep goes.

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Originally posted on my blog, magnificently nerdy.

If you, like me, are always on the lookout for onscreen Muslim and MENA characters in superhero media, and have spotted any characters in superhero TV shows I haven’t watched yet, let me know about them!

Here is my post on good guys, featuring Old Guard’s Joe, and Blindspot’s Rich Dotcom.

Here’s my post about the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow TV show.

And, if Marvels’ Eternals gets released on schedule for 2021, we will have a MENA actor portraying a supporting character. I just hope Marvel gives him a name.

[oscopelabs]

Christopher Nolan: The Man Who Wasn’t There by Daniel Carlson

1.

So, we’ll start with the fact that all movies are make-believe. It’s a bunch of actors on a set, wearing costumes and standing with props picked out by hordes of people you’ll never see, under the guidance of a director, saying things that have been written down for them while doing their best to say these things so that it sounds like they’re just now thinking of them. We all know this—saying it feels incredibly stupid, like pointing out that water is wet—but it’s still worth noting. There is, for example, no such person as Luke Skywalker. Never has been, never will be. He was invented by a baby boomer from Modesto. He is not real.

And we know this, and that’s part of the fun. We know that Luke Skywalker isn’t real but is being portrayed by an actor (another boomer from the Bay Area, come to think of it), and that none of the things we’re seeing are real. But we give ourselves over to the collective fiction for the greater experience of becoming involved in a story. This is one of the most amazing things that we do as humans. We know—deep down, in our bones, without-a-doubt know—that the thing we’re watching is fiction, but we enter a state of suspended reality where we imagine the story to be real, and we allow ourselves to be moved by it. We’ve been doing this since we developed language. The people telling these stories know this and bring the same level of commitment and imagination and assurance that we do as viewers, too. The storyteller knows that the story isn’t real, but for lack of a better way to get a handle on it, it feels real. So, to continue with the example, we’re excited when Luke Skywalker blows up the Death Star because he helped the good guys win. For us viewers, in this state of mutually reinforced agreement, that “happened.” It’s not real, but it’s “real”—that is, it’s real within the established boundaries of the invented world that we’ve all agreed to sit and look at for a couple of hours. Every viewer knows this, and every filmmaker acts on it, too. Except:

Christopher Nolan does not do this.

2.

There’s no one single owner or maker of any movie, and anyone who tells you different has their hand in your pocket. But there’s an argument to be made that when somebody both writes and directs the movie, it’s a bit easier to locate a sense of personhood in the final product. (This is all really rough math, too, and should not be used in court.) Christopher Nolan has directed 11 films to date, and while his style can be found in all of them, his self is more present in the ones where he had a hand in the shaping of the story—and crucially, not just that, but in the construction of the fictional world. Take away the superhero trilogy, the remake of a Norwegian thriller, the adaptation of a novel, and the historical drama, and Nolan’s directed five films that can reasonably be attributed to his own creative universe: Following (1998), Memento (2000), Inception (2010), Interstellar (2014), and Tenet (2020). These movies all involve themes that Nolan seems to enjoy working with no matter the source material, including identity, memory, and how easily reality can be called into question when two people refuse to concede that they had very different experiences of the same event. Basically, he makes movies about how perception shapes existence. How he does this, though, is unlike pretty much everybody else.

Take Inception. After a decade spent going from hotshot new talent to household name (thanks to directing the two highest-grossing Batman movies ever made, as well as the first superhero movie to earn an Oscar for acting), he had the credit line to make something big and flashy that was also weird and personal. So we got an action movie that, when first announced in the Hollywood trades, was described as being set within “the architecture of the mind.” Although this at first seemed to be a phrase that only a publicist could love, it turned out to be the best way to describe the film. This is a film, after all, about a group of elite agents who use special technology to enter someone’s subconscious dream-state and then manipulate that person’s memories and emotions. The second half of the film sees team leader Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and the rest of the squad actually descend through multiple nested subconsciouses to achieve their goal, even as they’re chased every step of the way by representations of Mal (Marion Cotillard), Dom’s late wife, who committed suicide after spending too much time in another’s subconscious and lost the ability to discern whether she was really alive or still in the dream-world.

I say “representations�� because that’s what they are: Mal is long dead, but Dom still feels enormous guilt over his complicity in her actions, and that guilt shows up looking like Mal, whose villainous actions (the representation’s actions, that is) are just more signs of Dom not being able to come to grips with his own past. It’s his own brain making these things up and attacking itself, and it chases his entire crew down three successive layers of dream worlds. You get caught up in the movie’s world as a viewer, and you go along because Nolan is pretty good at making exciting movies that feel like theme-park rides. You accept that Dom and everybody else refer to Mal as Mal and not, say, Dom. Dom even addresses her (“her”) when her projection shows up, speaking to her as if she’s a separate being with her own will and desires and not a puppet that he’s pretending not to know he’s controlling. It’s only later that you realize that the movie is in some ways just a big-budget rendition of what it would look like to really, really want to avoid therapy.

Which is what makes Nolan different from other filmmakers:

None of this is actually happening.

Again, yes, it’s happening in the sense that we see things on screen—explosions, chases, a fight scene in a rotating hallway that’s still some of the best practical-effects work in modern action movies—but within the universe of the film, none of what’s going on is taking place in the real world. It’s all unfolding in the subconsciouses of Dom’s teammates. In the movie’s real world, they’re all asleep on a luxury jet. They’re “doing” things that have an outcome on the plot, but Nolan sets more than half the movie inside dreams. It’s a movie about reality where we spend less time in reality than in fantasy. Half the movie is pretend.

For Nolan, filmmaking is about using a dazzling array of techniques to create a visual spectacle that distracts the viewer from the fact that the real and true story is happening somewhere else: in the fringes we can’t quite see, in the things we forget to remember, or even in the realm of pure speculation.

3.

Memento arrived like (and with) a gunshot. It seemed to come out of nowhere and leave people struggling to describe it, and they usually wound up saying something like “it goes backward, but also forward at the same time, except some parts are actually really backward, like in reverse, so it’s maybe a circle?” Written by Christopher Nolan from an idea originally shared with him by his brother, Jonathan (who eventually turned it into a very different short story titled “Memento Mori”), the film follows a man named Leonard (Guy Pearce) who has anterograde amnesia and can’t form new memories, so every few minutes he sort of just resets and has to figure out where he is, what he’s doing there, and so on. He’s on the hunt for the man who attacked him and his wife, leaving his wife dead and Leonard in his present condition, which you can imagine does not make the gathering and synthesis of clues easy.

What’s more, Nolan puts the viewer in Leonard’s shoes by breaking the film’s linear timeline into two halves—call them A and B—and then alternating between them, with the added disorientation coming from the fact that one of those timeline halves plays out backward, with each successive scene showing what happened before the one you previously saw. So, if you numbered all the scenes in each timeline in chronological order, they’d look something like this when arranged in the final film: Scene A1, Scene B22, Scene A2, Scene B21, Scene A3, Scene B20, etc. You get why it messed with people’s heads.

As a result, we spend most of the movie pretty confused, just like Leonard, whose suppositions about what might or might not take place next begin to substitute for our own understanding of the film. It’s not until the end that we find out the shoe already dropped, and that Leonard killed the original attacker some time ago and has since been led on a series of goose chases by his cop friend, Teddy (Joe Pantoliano), who’s planting fake clues to get Leonard to take out other criminals. In other words, we realize that the story we thought was happening was pretend, and the real story was happening all around us, in the margins, memories, and imaginations of the characters. The most honest moment in the movie is the scene where Leonard hires a sex worker to wait several minutes in the bathroom while he gets in bed, then make a noise with the door to wake him, at which point his amnesia has kicked in again and he briefly thinks that the noise is being made by his wife. He’s wrong, of course, but this is the only time in the movie that we actually know he’s wrong. It’s the only time we truly know what’s real and what isn’t.

Yet you can’t talk about Memento without talking about Following, Nolan’s first feature. Although the film’s production was so extremely low-budget you’d think they were lying—the cast and crew all had day jobs and could only film on the weekends, so the thing took a year to make—Nolan’s willingness to dwell completely in a make-believe world that the viewer never knows about is already evident. It’s about a bored young writer who starts following strangers through the city for kicks, only for one of those strangers to catch him in the act and confront him. The stranger introduces himself as Cobb—I kindly submit here that it is not a coincidence that this is also Leonardo DiCaprio’s character’s name in Inception, but you already knew that—and reveals himself to be a burglar, spooked by the tail but willing to take on an apprentice. Cobb trains the writer to be a burglar, only for the situation to ultimately wind up implicating the writer himself in a complex blackmail plot. You see, the writer didn’t latch onto Cobb in a crowd; Cobb lured him in. The whole movie has been Cobb’s story all along, with the writer as a patsy who doesn’t understand the truth until the final frame. None of what we saw mattered, and everything that actually happened happened off-screen just before or just after we came in on a given scene. It’s like realizing the movie you’re watching turned out to be just deleted scenes from something else. You can’t say Nolan didn’t show his hand from the start.

4.

That same general concept—that the movie we’re watching is actually the knock-on effect of a movie we’ll only glimpse, or maybe never even see—underpins Nolan’s latest movies, Interstellar and Tenet, too. Interstellar has some concepts that are iffy even for Nolan (it makes total sense for someone to do something for another out of love, but somewhat less sense that that love somehow reshapes the physical universe), but it’s still a big, bold approach to exploring how time and perception shape our actions. As the film follows its core group of astronauts while they search for potentially habitable new worlds, they encounter strange visions and experiences that turn out to be their handiwork from the future reflected back at them. Sure, it raises the paradoxical question of whether they had a first mission before this that failed, so now their future selves are intervening to make the second one (which feels like the first one to the astronauts the whole time) successful, and all sorts of other stuff that your sophomore-year roommate would like to talk with you about in great detail. But so much of what we see isn’t the stuff that happens, or that winds up being important. There’s the great scene where the astronauts land on a planet near a black hole, which is wreaking havoc on how time passes on the planet. A minor disaster delays their departure for the main ship still in orbit, but when the landing team returns, they find that more than 20 years have “passed” since they left, with the one remaining team member on the ship having spent more than two decades waiting for them to return. It’s a moment of genuine horror, and it underscores the fact that what we thought was the one true reality was just the perspective of a handful of characters we happened to follow for a few minutes. There were whole things happening that changed the plot and story and direction of everything that would follow, and we never saw them; we didn’t even know we’d missed them.

Tenet is, of course, the latest and most recursive exploration yet of Nolan’s obsession with showing us a story that turns out to be mostly fake. It is almost perversely hard to even begin to explain the film (Google “Tenet timeline infographic” and have fun). One way to think about it is to imagine if the two timeline halves from Memento somehow existed at the same time, with people moving both forward and backward through time while inhabiting the same location. Basically, some scientists figured out how to “invert” the basic entropy of objects, so that they exist backward: you hold out your hand and the ball on the ground leaps up into it, because you’ve dropped it in the future, so now you can pick it up, etc. … Look, it doesn’t get easier to understand.

The upshot is, though, that we spend the film following the Protagonist (that’s his name), a CIA agent played by John David Washington, as he’s tasked with tracking down the source of the inverted stuff to figure out what’s unfolding in the future and why it’s suddenly started to make itself known in the present. He gets marginally closer to understanding the truth by the end of the film, but because this is a Nolan film that is maybe more expressly about the nature of reality than anything he’s ever done, his journey doesn’t so much take him forward as it does in a large circle. Because, and stop me if you’ve heard this, the true story of Tenet is taking place outside the Protagonist’s actions and knowledge, alongside him but invisible, often steered by people who themselves are moving “backward” through time and thus have already met the Protagonist in the future and are old friends with him by the time he meets them in his youth. Even more brain-liquefying, some of these people have been working under the orders of the Protagonist himself—the future version, that is—because his past self has already achieved the victories that allowed him to send the future people backward through time to meet his younger self so they’d achieve the victories that allow him to etc., etc., etc.

With Tenet, Nolan didn’t just make a movie that challenged perception, like Memento, or that dwelt in fiction, like Inception. He made a movie that can only be understood (to whatever degree true understanding is possible) by rewatching the movie itself, over and over, as the multiple timelines and harrowingly complex bits of cause and effect come into some kind of focus. The whole movie itself isn’t happening, in a sense, but is just the ramifications of something else, the echoes of a shout whose origin we’re straining to pinpoint. It both is and isn’t.

5.

Christopher Nolan is a talented director of action-driven suspense thrillers. He’s canny at controlling the audience’s emotions, and he knows how to put on a dazzling show. Plus he’s fantastic at picking when to deploy non-computer-generated effects for maximum impact. But you could say that about a lot of other directors, too. What sets Nolan apart from the rest, and what makes him a director to keep watching and returning to, is the teasing way his movies wind up being just deceptive enough to fool you into thinking that you know what’s going on, then just harsh enough to disabuse you of that notion. Looking at what seems to drive him, I don’t think Tenet is his best movie-movie, but it’s his most-Nolan movie. It’s almost a culmination of his continuing efforts to tell stories where what you see and what actually happens are two different things. It’s not that he makes puzzles to solve. There is no solving these movies. Rather, it’s that he sculpts these delicate artifacts that only let you see two dimensions at a time, never all three, no matter how you twist your head. Craning back and forth, you can almost see the whole thing, but not quite. Some part of it will always have to exist in your memory. And that’s where Christopher Nolan likes to be.

[redantsunderneath]

DC COMICS: Incoherence as Not-a-Bug-but-a-Feature (Spoilers for Batman 89-100)

Due to the emergence of the new Batman villain character Punchline, I wound up buying the last 12 issues of Batman and reading them in a single sitting. I’ve had trouble following DC comics for a while, constantly feeling that they were in trouble since back in the mid 2000s (with a glimmer of hope here and there). The act of reading DC comics has been a frustrating experience, where individual good stories and runs were laying around in the context of a lot of things that didn’t make sense while the company’s thrust felt chaotic and ideas not well blended. Every status quo change seemed hard to figure out the rules of enough to parse the context.  We’ll get into the background of this, but my reading today of this extended stretch of comics that keeps losing the plot in favor of a fever dream of what’s happening at the moment with specific characters that refuse to cohere, it became obvious that what I had been looking at as subtext or critique was actually the text. I could see the messed up trees but was missing the the forest the universe was trying to describe.

What happens in these issues (Batman current series 89-100, I missed the beginning of the first of 2 arcs) is rolling war between the major Batman villains and the heroes (plus Harley Quinn and Catwoman), which shifts into a Joker and Joker adjacent vs. all as the Joker double crosses everyone then manages to steal Bruce Wayne’s fortune.  We meet 3 new baddies – Underbroker, whose schtick is putting ill-gotten gains beyond the reach of the legal system (with an explicit line to rich globalists drawn), the Designer, who back in the day offered the four A list Batman villains plans to achieve what they most wanted, and Punchline, who is your toxic ex’s new millennial GF who really has it in for you (there is also a new good guy Clownhunter, which is a whole different thing, and a new costumed detective that predates Batman).  This doesn’t convey the chaotic nature of what is happening issue to issue, but there’s more than one Batman hallucinogenic spirit quest, dead characters ostensibly walking around, a plan revolving around the Bat’s origin story that tells some version of it several times, and a no-nonsense declaration that the Joker, as the Devil of the Batman spiritual system, cannot die.   The whole thing has the effect of convincing you there is no definitive sequence of events, only versions.

Alan Moore’s Killing Joke is not a favorite of mine, for a number of reasons.  But the ending holds up.  The Joker has done terrible things there is no antecedent for, and Batman wonders aloud if this never-ending dance they do ends in anything but both of their deaths; can they uncouple from the unhealthy duality the cycle of which simply repeats.  The Joker responds, well, with a joke about two lunatics trying to escape an asylum.  One jumps the roof to the next building, while the other is too scared to try.  The escapee offers to hold a light while the other crosses on a beam but he says no, no you’ll just cut the light while I’m half way across.  This not very funny joke nonetheless has a bunch of resonances – BM and Joker as conspiring co inmates, BM wanting to break out, a commentary about their natures (almost a reversal of the frog and scorpion story where the scorpion won’t go because he knows how this ends), but mostly it implicates BM as the one who is enabling the cycle, the reason why it won’t end.  They both laugh uproariously, and the ambiguous final panels can be read as the fundamental realization of his complicity causing BM to kill J.  A lethal joke indeed… except, next month, we see the both of them again.  In broader context, the ceaseless cycle of the diad is reaffirmed.  This has been hellaciously sticky as an idea in the Batmen universe.

My realization of what DC has been doing is pretty banal in its pieces. Marvel has “ground level” heroes while DC has a mythos, a pantheon.  Their archetypal makeup is strong, the seven JLA members lining up with the pantheon of Greek gods and the Chakras weirdly closely.  DC has big characters that are somewhat flat which they can use tell big bold individual stories that are cool the way legends and fables are cool. But these stories require bold strokes that a bit incompatible with each other. People get attached to these iterations. Meanwhile, Marvel trucks in soap operas where the characters give you an empathetic stand in and are narratively flexible. Marvel events are usually about the writer vs. the company, asking you to sympathize or deconstruct the creative impulse amid efforts to impose control or order.  DC’s events are about editorial vs. the audience, the shapers vs. the forces of the world.  It may seem obvious, given this description, that DC’s focus is on an archetypal tableau though it may be less obvious that this tableau is under extreme pressure from expectations when trying to tell ongoing tales month in, month out (or semi-monthly in some cases). The stories are constantly compared against the big stories that have gone before, and the audience’s ideas of the characters exert pressure to push them in directions that capture “the” version they believe in.  This circle is not possible to square.

DC and Marvel both have a multiverse of sorts.  DC used to tell “Elseworlds” stories which were later tucked into pocket universes.  DC invented crossing over between “realities.”  DC’s continuity is heavy baggage and they began to have “Crises” to resolve the narrative incompatibilities.  These only made things worse as you can’t get rid of the past people have a relationship with – it will come back.  Now you have to explain that away too.  Marvel just lets it lay – forget about the iffy stories, they count, sure, just no one is ever going to talk about them unless they have an angle.  Marvel continuity is all angles and amnesia. This is just easier to do with dating and rent and your ancient aunt’s medical bills than with Gods. Marvel’s multiverse is about sandboxes that you can always dump into the mainframe if they work (and never really mention the sandbox again).

There is a shift that occurred in the industry in the 2004 to 2005 era that is less remarked upon than many upheavals in comic’s history. Marvel had gone through a period of incredible new idea generation in the early 2000s after a late 90s creative cratering but had just fired the pro wrestling inflected soul of that moment (Bill Jemas).  DC was coming off of a period of trying to do moderately updated versions of what they basically been doing all along. The attitude was “yeah we’re under stress from the combined history of these characters, but we got to keep telling the stories.” Geoff Johns was one voice of DC over the 99-04 period that showed potential - he seemed to get how to find the core of characters and push them into a new in sync directions if they over the years have lost a clear identity.  But mostly he had internalized a basic schism between something mean that the audience wanted, and something good and wholesome about the characters themselves, and figured out how to mess around with this in a equilibrating fashion.

Interestingly, the ignition point of the main forces that were going to blow DC over the next decade and a half was a comic that had virtually nothing to do with any of those main forces. Brad Meltzer, a novelist, was hired to do a comic called Infinity Crisis, which sold extremely well and was, justifiably or not, recognized as an event.  At the same time, everyone also kind of hated it because the dark desires of some DC fans were pushed forward just a bit too much for comfort and for a comic with Crisis in the name it didn’t do a whole lot other than “darken” things.  Nonetheless, this lit an “event” fire at both companies.  Marvel chose a shake up the status quo for a year, then do it again, pattern and was off to the races (I have written about this, and more, here) while continuing its Randian framing of beleaguered do-gooders opposed by rule making freedom haters.

As this was playing out, Dan Didio quietly took power in DC Editorial.  His outlook was more Bloomian – he seemed to spark off of writers who exhibited anxiety of influence. He recognized Johns was the one person they had could be promoted into something of a universe architect, starting work on two key projects from which the rest would evolve. The first, was bringing back Hal Jordan as Green Lantern and diffracting the GL universe into its own symbolic system, with parts frisson-ing other parts, and almost a Magic the Gathering color scheme of ideas. The other was to build up to Infinite Crisis, which would become the model for most of their universe changing events until the present day.

The basic frame is this: DC heroes want to be good (in a sense of their inherent nature) but forces outside form a context that makes them fall.  It’s a very gnostic universe, DC.  They  examine reflections of the concepts, invent scapegoats for certain tendencies (see Superboy Prime as entitled fanboy, Dr. Manhattan as editors that try and fail to mend things, etc), make characters violate principles, rehabilitate them, then show that the world if anything is more broken than before.  This is kind of Johns’ thing and it fits Didio’s narrative as historicval tension fetish.  But then came Scott Snyder (not to be confused with Zack) who began to work on Batman in 2011.  Since then, as much as Justice League is pushed as the central title and Lex Luthor has been pimped, Batman has been the core of the universe and the Joker the core villain.

Snyder had the same continuity conflict wavelength but was significantly more meta and able to contain multitudes than Johns.  He was the first to make an explicit mystery of how there could be several Jokers around at one time (who are the same but not, he posited 3 – man, Christians!) that seems prescient given the near future coexistence of filmic Jokers that are not able to be resolved.  I believe he was the first to begin to tease out an idea – that different versions of things in comics are not a diffraction or filter effect, a using the set of things that work best for that story and leaving the rest, but are a matter of the archetypal system of the audience coming apart. From an in story perspective what appears to happen is that multiple versions of incompatible things exist in the collective unconscious of the continuing narrative, and this is something that the characters may become conscious of.  

The run I just read is written by James Tynion IV building on the above trends.  The trick seems to be going all in on the Jungian aspect (at Jung’s most religiously epiphanic).  The Designer was a progenitor and adversary to Batman’s predecessor and his intellectual approach eventually defeated the detective… broke him.  At some point in early Batman history, the Designer brought the top four Bat-baddies together and offered each, in turn, a plan to achieve what they most desired: the Riddler, a way to achieve an empire of the mind; the Penguin, power; and Catwoman, money.  They are all elated as they await the Joker to come out.  The Joker emerges with a furious Designer on his heals and promptly shoots him dead.  He explains that he didn’t like his joke in the form of a fable – the devil offered four people the path to their greatest desire: the three chose earthly things, but the Joker’s wish was to be him, to become the devil.  The story proceeds to suggest that the Joker just exists, he is present as a necessary component in the system.   You can kill him, yet he is alive.

DC has been using physics metaphors for the nature of their reality since Flash of Two Worlds in 1963.  The multiverse as a continuity concept was their idea and the holographic universe of the hypertime was a thing.  It seems like since Dan Didio took over, they’ve been heading towards a concept of broad superimposition, of measurement effect being weak, of the universe being like a quantum computer with all possibilities coexisting and the story instantiating not one reality but a path through all the possible ones.  By making Batman trip balls through quite a few issues and relive his origin from different angles, the story is one of its own instability and the heroic task that confronts our hero is attempting to actualize the world.  The Joker is the Devil in the sense of lack of fixed meaning, of relativistic chaos, of the world not making sense because it’s unmoored nature with ultimately no knowability.  Batman, in this story, functions as a postmodern knight crusading against the impossibility of epistemological grounding.

There’s more going on, sure.  One plot is, literally, defund Batman.  There is rioting, people brainwashed by being exposed to toxic ether, people paid to go to theaters even though they will die as a result, and questions about neoliberalism similar to that one Joker movie. Punchline has no personality yet (Tynion’s not the best at that) but she serves well as a generational foil for Harley – a rudderless ideological vacuum susceptible to Joker-as-idea-virus rather than an unfulfilled MD who felt alienated due to the structures of her life and was seeking escape into structureless possibility.  The Designer stuff is both continuity play (See why they changed from goofy villains to more “realistic” ones! Look how pulp heroes informed superheroes!), a comment on the nature of a longstanding narrative (strong intentions die out as Brownian motion overwhelms momentum), and a lawful evil/chaotic evil setup of the dualism of apocalypses (overdetermined authoritarian vs. center does not hold barbarism).  But the thing that ties this to the past decade and a half of DC is the sense that the reality is fluid and susceptible to change or outright s’cool incompatibility.

This is different than other flavors of meta in superhero comics.  Grant Morrison believes the archetypes are stronger than the forces that seek to bend them.  Alan Moore wants you to deconstruct your sacred cows and probably hates you personally.  Marvel might play with self-awareness, but effortlessly resolves inconsistencies after it’s finished playing.  DC, at this point, allows you to watch the waves solidfy into symbols and dissolve, and the constant confusion and lack of grounding is more of a choice then I thought this time yesterday.  The conflict theory of DC reality has been in full swing but this looks to be turning towards a kind of Zen historicism, holding contradictory things in your mind at once. Warren Ellis’ JLA/Authority book is the nearest comparable text I can think of. I need to call this, but I didn’t even talk about Death Metal, DC character multiplicity as meta-psychosis event extraordinaire.  Comics just keep getting weirder.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Batman: The Animated Series Season 1 (4 of 10)

Carrying on our look at the first season of Batman: The Animated Series, we present a fourth round of episode reviews, this time starting with a two-parter that introduced one of Batman’s stranger foes to the series.

Episode 20: Feat of Clay (Part 1)

Plot (as given by me):

Lucius Fox of Wayne Enterprises is lured to a secret meeting with a man who claims to be Bruce Wayne, who wants evidence the company has gathered about businessman Roland Daggett trying to take over Wayne Enterprises through insider trading.  The meeting turns out to be a set-up, but Batman’s interference ensures Fox manages to live.  However, the men escape and the injured Fox identifies Wayne as being complicit in the set-up.

 In reality, the man who set Fox up is Matt Hagan, an actor who is forced to carry out errands for Daggett in order to ensure a supply of an experimental chemical compound called “Renuyu”.  The compound makes skin highly malleable, enabling Hagan or any other user to rearrange their features as they choose.  However, the compound is also highly addictive, and Hagan needs it to cover facial disfigurements following an accident he had years ago.  Daggett insists that his men, Raymond Bell and ‘Germs’, eliminate Hagan for his incompetence, relying on Hagan’s addition to draw him to them rather than try to find Hagan, who was a noted master of disguise even before using the compound.

 As predicted, Hagan breaks into Daggett Pharmaceuticals and is caught by Bell and Germs.  They expose him to an overdose of the compound and then leave him in his car, where the compound begins to alter Hagan.  Meanwhile, Batman has learned his alter ego of Bruce Wayne was impersonated for the attack on Fox, and has remembered Bell, who is distinguished by the radio headset he wears to monitor police radio frequencies.  Batman uses this to flush Bell out by pretending to be a police radio operator.  Cornering Bell with the Batwing, Batman interrogates him about the impersonation of Wayne.  Bell confirms Wayne was impersonated, but passes out before confirming the identity of the imposter.  The arrival of the police forces Batman to abandon his efforts with Bell.

 Later, Bruce sneaks into Fox’s room at the hospital, but Fox panics and alerts the police officers outside his room, resulting in Bruce’s arrest.  Meanwhile, Hagan’s friend and stand-in Teddy Lupus tracks Hagan to Daggett’s factory, where he finds the overdose has transformed Hagan into a clay-like monster. Seeing himself in the rear-view mirror of his car, Hagan roars in horror.

Review:

Apparently, there have been several villains who have taken the name of Clayface over the course of Batman’s history in the comics, of which four had already made appearances in comics by the time this series came round.  What the series does is combine the occupation of the original Clayface Basil Karlo, namely being an actor, with the name of the second Clayface Matt Hagan, and then throws in an original origin story for the character.  Well, for the character it’s original, but for the show as a whole it’s not very original.  As the DC Animated Universe wiki rightly points out, this two-part episode shares a lot of common plot points with the ‘Two-Face’ two-part episode. Even the structure is roughly similar in that part 1 is set-up for a transformation that the principal villain then seeks retribution for in part 2.

 However, Hagan isn’t as easy to empathise with and root for compared to Harvey Dent.  While Dent was a crusading crime-fighter who was normally a good guy, and who was also friends with Bruce Wayne, Hagan comes off as someone who was probably a bit of a jerk to begin with, and who would probably be working for a creep like Daggett even if the chemicals that ultimately transform him weren’t addictive.  In essence, Hagan’s arc is like one big warning about the dangers of getting too caught up in one’s looks too much.  That said, he is well-voiced by actor Ron Perlman (yes, I mean the first cinematic Hellboy and Blade II villain Ron Perlman).  Other notable actors who have guest roles across this two-parter are Ed Begley Jr. (too many credits to name, but guest appearances in the West Wing, CSI Miami and Star Trek: Voyager number among them), and the now-late Ed Asner voicing Roland Daggett (Asner being most notable in voice acting outside of this series for Carl in Disney & Pixar’s Up!).

 Overall, it’s a decent part 1 with some very good guest talent alongside the show’s regulars.  It just lacks a bit in originality, and for that it’s only able to score 8 out of 10.

Episode 21: Feat of Clay (Part 2)

Plot (as given by me):

In his trailer at the film studio, Hagan wallows in self-pity and despair as he recalls how after his accident, Daggett conned him into being a test subject for his experimental compound.  Walking past posters on his wall, Hagan’s face changes to mimic the posters without him being aware of it.  Teddy points this out, and Hagan realises he can now make himself look like anyone, even simulating clothing out of his body. However, doing this requires intense concentration, and when Teddy disturbs Hagan, the disfigured actor lashes out, realising his career cannot be salvaged.

 Meanwhile, Wayne is released on bail, enabling him to continue his investigation as Batman, and Daggett insists that Germs kill Fox, despite the fact that Fox is in hospital and Germs earned his nickname by being a germophobe.  Hagan also deduces Daggett will try to have Fox killed, and plans to kill the assassin so he can take their place, the better to then kill Daggett.  As a result, all three men end up at the hospital. Batman intercepts Germs and manages to corner him in a room where viral and bacterial cultures are being stored for analysis, and uses this to coax Germs into revealing it was Matt Hagan who impersonated Bruce Wayne during the original ambush on Fox.

 Before Germs can reveal how Hagan pulled off the deception, a police officer appears to apparently arrest Germs.  However, it swiftly turns out the office is Hagan in disguise; he abducts Germs and takes him to the roof, intent on throwing him to his death.  Batman pursues and saves Germs, and the dark knight is startled when he sees Hagan’s face change on reflex to try and mirror his own.  Hagan uses his shape-shifting powers to try and kill Batman, but the effort soon exhausts him and he is forced to flee.  Elsewhere, Hagan finalises his plans to kill Daggett, and knocks out Teddy when he tries to talk him out of it.

 Later, Roland Daggett appears on a talk show hosted by TV journalist Summer Gleeson to promote “Renuyu” to the public.  When Summer takes questions from the audience, an overweight woman in the audience storms the stage, grilling Daggett about the chemical’s side-effects and addictive properties.  The woman then transforms, revealing it is actually Hagan in disguise, and the audience flees in terror.  Hagan, now calling himself “Clayface”, attacks Daggett, but Batman intervenes.  A fight ensues between the two that moves from the stage to the control room, Batman subduing Daggett along the way.

 In the control room, Batman activates videos of Hagan’s films, causing him to shape-shift out of control as his body tries to emulate all the varying and conflicting characters at once.  The police arrive as Hagan’s out-of-control changing continues, and they see his face briefly become that of Bruce Wayne. Hagan then smashes the control consoles, electrocuting himself.  He laments that he never got a death scene this good when he was still an actor, and won’t be around to read the notices.  While Wayne is cleared of all wrong-doing, Batman experiments on a piece of Clayface left behind and realises electricity has no effect on it. Combined with the actor’s choice of words, Batman realises Hagan gave them all a fake death; his body at the police morgue turns out to be an empty shell, and elsewhere a disguised Clayface laughs at his seeming triumph.

Review:

As I noted with part 1, the whole Clayface intro two-part story is quite derivative in its plot structure, having so many parallels to the Two-Face intro episodes that to a casual glance, they could appear identical.  However, part 2 does compensate for this with more than just a great cast of guest voices like part 1 did.  In part 2, we see Clayface show off his powers, and that’s where this episode comes to really stand out.  Unlike some DC heroes, Batman faces a rogues’ gallery composed almost entirely of otherwise normal people who are either just insane human beings or some form of professional criminal.  As a result, he’s often challenged more by their insanity or something technical they’ve done.

 Clayface, on the other hand, opens our animated Batman up to facing a foe who presents a challenge because he has a physical super-power that the caper crusader has to contend with.  Metahumans aren’t the norm for Batman solo adventures, but it’s fun to see them because they serve as evidence for why someone like Batman ultimately ends up as a member of the Justice League.  It’s his ability to get through the initial clash, learn from it and be prepared the next time around that ensures Batman can win even against a super-powered adversary.  However, even with this we’re not quite up to top marks, but we’re close.  I’d give this episode 9 out of 10.

Episode 22: Joker’s Favour

Plot (as given by me):

Average Gothamite Charlie Collins is coming home from a bad day at work when he is cut off on the freeway by multiple drivers, including Batman and officers of the GCPD.  However, the one that compels Charlie to return the favour complete with a string of abuse turns out to be the Joker.  Horrified at his mistake, Charlie then tries to flee, but the clown prince of crime pursues him.  Charlie, in the heat of the moment, states he’ll do anything to make amends, and the Joker agrees, stating that at some future time, he’ll ask a favour of Charlie.

 Two years later, Commissioner Gordon is to be honoured with a testimonial, something that sits ill with the Joker, and he plans to crash the festivities.  Despite having two henchmen and a right-hand woman in the form of one Harley Quinn, Joker decides to call in the favour owed to him by Charlie Collins. Charlie has moved cities and changed names, but the Joker has managed to keep track of the man, and insists Charlie return to Gotham if he doesn’t want his wife and son hurt.  At Gordon’s testimonial, which is being held at the Gotham Peregrinators Club, Charlie’s favour for the Joker is open the door for Harley while she pushes a giant cake in.  However, Charlie decides to try and warn Batman, and uses a club exhibit to make an improvised bat-signal.

 Charlie performs his task as Harley brings the cake in, disguised as a uniform cop.  However, Charlie finds his hand is now glued to the handle, and the cake emits a gas that paralyses everyone not involved in the Joker’s scheme (the Joker’s men, Harley and Charlie all wear gas-masks while Joker springs up from inside the cake).  The Joker pins a bomb to Commissioner Gordon’s suit and leaves with Harley and his men, planning to kill Charlie along with the assembled officers. However, Batman arrives, having spotted the improvised bat-signal as he’d been leaving the club as Bruce Wayne. At Charlie’s warning, he uses his grapnel gun to shoot the bomb outside, which results in the destruction of the Joker’s getaway van, after which he frees Charlie from the door, telling him to stay with the recovering police officers while he tackles the Joker.

 Batman is quick to take down Joker’s henchmen and Harley while Joker gets outside.  There, he is confronted by Charlie, who in mad desperation threatens the Joker with one of his own bombs that was thrown clear of the van.  Joker pleads for Batman to save him, and the dark knight appears in time to apparently talk Charlie down.  However, Charlie soon tosses the device to the ground, where it turns out to be a gag bomb instead of a real one.  While an amused Batman takes the Joker into custody, Charlie looks forward to returning to his normal life.

Review:

This episode has quite a lot going for it. For starters, it’s another Joker episode, which are generally sure bets to be interesting once any Batman show knows what they’re doing with the character.  Second, it’s a Joker episode with a very interesting premise of putting an everyman kind of character in the middle of everything.  That alone helps the episode to stand out as something different, and that’s before we consider that the everyman character is being voiced by Ed Begley Jr.  In and of itself, that last point might not seem like much, but if you compare Charlie Collins to the character Begley was voicing in the ‘Feat of Clay’ two-part episode, it shows this chap has an impressive range for voice-acting.

 However, all of this is relative pre-amble to the fact that this is the episode that first featured the show’s major break-out original character of Harley Quinn.  From the simple act of episode writer Paul Dini creating Harley as a guest character for this episode, her character has taken Batman’s original medium of comics and all other Batman mediums by storm.  It’s hard to believe given the episode isn’t giving her a proper intro with origin story and all the rest, but luckily the show would later address that. However, I think that just goes to show how strong the character was, or possibly just how much Batman lore must have needed that character without maybe realising it.  Factoring all this in, I’d say this episode is another top scorer; 10 out of 10.

Episode 23: Vendetta

Plot (as given by me):

Convict “Spider” Conway is being transported from Stonegate to give evidence against crime lord Rupert Thorne, but the transport boat is blown up by a bomb mid-transport.  The officers on board spotted the bomb and got off in time, but Conway is missing and everyone begins to assume the worst.  When Batman finds a toothpick like those used by Detective Harvey Bullock at the Stonegate Penitentiary docks, and later learns Bullock was once suspected of taking bribes from Thorne, he assumes something even worse; that Bullock planted the bomb himself.

 Bullock is taken off the Thorne/Conway case because of this unsavoury history, while Batman goes to interrogate Thorne.  The crime lord claims he wasn’t involved and that Conway’s testimony won’t damage him at all.  This seems to confirm Batman’s theory that Bullock blew up the boat to prevent anything come to light about his own past with Thorne, but Commissioner Gordon is adamant Bullock is clean.  However, when someone dressed like Bullock abducts another criminal, Joey “The Snail” Martin, from his police cell, Bullock is arrested.

 Batman examines another piece of evidence found at the docks, a scale which looks reptilian but has human cellular structure. A chance phrase of Alfred’s combined with the scale gives Batman an idea.  He eventually discovers Joey and Spider have been hidden in a cave with an underwater access and confronts their abductor, who identifies himself as a former professional wrestler named Killer Croc.  Croc was apparently born part-crocodile, which gives him a massive strength advantage.  Despite this, Batman is able to tie Croc up long enough to capture Joey and Spider and leave.

 Back at the Batcave, Batman is able to trace Croc’s past; he became a pro-wrestler after a stint as a side-show attraction, then turned to crime when he came to Gotham.  Initially penny-ante, Croc was later arrested by Bullock and convicted based on the testimony of Spidey and Joey.  Realising this, Batman intercepts Croc when he tries to corner Bullock in the detective’s car, after Bullock has been released on bail.  Batman and Croc take their battle into the sewers, where Batman ultimately wins, bringing Croc back to the surface for Bullock to take in. Bullock soon returns to duty with all charges against him formally dropped.

Review:

Here we get a fairly simple, but nonetheless decent, intro episode for another of the metahuman monsters that occasionally get a spot in the Batman rogues’ gallery.  This time it’s Killer Croc, who has a fairly simple backstory and doesn’t require the kind of introductions we’ve seen for many of Batman’s other foes. The backstory for Croc is so simple, in fact, that it doesn’t lose anything from being worked into a Bullock frame-up plot that allows us to also see a major supporting character in Batman lore developed further.  My only criticism would be that Croc’s proper name of Waylon Jones from the comics isn’t used, and that right at the end he gets identified as ‘Killer Croc Morgan’ by the news reporter.  It might seem like a minor niggle to some, but between that and the frame-up seeming a bit advanced for the simplistic Croc, I give this episode just 8 out of 10.

Episode 24: Fear of Victory

Plot (as given by me):

Amidst reports of star athletes having panic attacks that cause them to lose, Dick Grayson’s college room-mate and American football player Brian Rogers is on the verge of being signed into the professional American football leagues.  As they discuss this, Brian receives a strange telegram wishing him luck, but also reminding him that only a fool knows no fear.  Later at a crucial game, Brian suffers a panic attack of his own, and later when Dick is out as Robin assisting Batman, he has a panic attack while scaling the side of a skyscraper to tackle two thieves.

 Investigating Dick’s college dorm, Batman discovers the telegram is coated in a substance that is blocked by their gloves. Performing an experiment back at the Batcave, Batman deduces that the chemical is activated by adrenalin, causing major panic during moments of major excitement such as high-pressure sporting contests.  The nature of the chemical clearly indicates the Scarecrow, but Robin contends that Scarecrow is supposed to be locked up at Arkham Asylum.  A visit there swiftly reveals, however, that Scarecrow has escaped and somehow terrorised an orderly into keeping the escape a secret.

 Elsewhere, a man identifying himself only as ‘Lucky’ collects another big win from Leon the Bookie, who sends his enforcer after the man to find out how he is managing to win so many bets.  Lucky turns out to be the Scarecrow, and uses another drugged telegram to cow the enforcer into submission.  Batman explains to Commissioner Gordon that in order to finance his fear experiments, Scarecrow is drugging top athletes and then betting against them or their teams, depending on the sport in question.  That knight, Gotham’s professional American football team the Gotham Knights have a game that Scarecrow is likely to target, so Batman goes to intervene, Robin going along despite not yet having recovered from the fear chemical himself.

 At the game, Robin spots the disguised Scarecrow entering and follows, quickly deducing that this time, Scarecrow has tampered with a player’s helmet rather than going for the telegram trick again. Watching the game from the lighting scaffold in the stadium roof, Scarecrow is puzzled as the targeted player doesn’t have a panic attack, and is then surprised when Batman confronts him. Scarecrow threatens to drop a vial of fear toxin on the crowd if Batman doesn’t back off, but then opts to drop it to keep Batman too busy to follow him.  However, the vial lands on a lower platform instead.

 A scuffle ensues that causes the vial to fall towards the crowd, but Robin arrives in time to swing out and catch the vial, overcoming his panic attacks and saving the day.  He also reveals he was the one who swapped out the dosed helmet for a safe one.  Scarecrow is swiftly returned to Arkham and Brian Rodgers is signed up to play professional American football.

Review:

Quick bit of house-keeping; as a Brit, I cannot stand how Americans call actual football ‘soccer’ and their version of football, well, football.  After all, football is supposed to be played, as the name implies, with one’s feet.  Why the Americans apply this name to their version when they almost never use their feet to move the ball is just silly to me. Also, given the shape of the ball, I’d say what they’re really playing is rugby, albeit with a better set-up in terms of ensuring player protection and, hopefully, no stupid rules prohibiting passes in the direction players are meant to run.  So, for anyone wondering why I’ve insisted on using the term ‘American football’ all through the plot outline above, that’s why.

 So, that having now been explained, let’s consider the episode proper.  While this was the first episode to be aired featuring Robin, it’s the second from a production stand-point, and in all honesty it’s one episode that might have been better going ahead of the earlier Robin episode ‘Christmas with the Joker’.  The fact that Dick is at college, and thus less available to act as Robin, is more directly shown here, so really this should have been made as well as aired first, then the Christmas episode done later on both counts.  Robin’s arc in the story about overcoming fears is a decent, albeit highly cliché one that at times slightly undercuts the episode’s quality.

 To some degree, the return of Scarecrow with a more terrifying appearance helps compensate for this, but then also undercutting the episode is the obviousness that the Scarecrow is the culprit.  Between the episode title (and title card), not to mention the series of fear-related incidents with top athletes, it’s somewhat painful having to wait for Batman to make the connection the audience made five minutes earlier at least.  It’s like watching any episode of Columbo, where the audience gets to see what actually happened first and then has to wait ages for the detective to work it out.

 That way of presenting mysteries is almost as daft as calling a sport football if it’s not going to involve primarily foot-on-ball contact.  The audience should always be in sync with or behind the detective, and if you get there ahead of them, it should be from your own deduction, not because the book, TV episode or film spoils the solution for you while making the detective work for it.  Overall, this isn’t the best episode of the series by any means, and I give it just 5 out of 10.

Episode 25: The Clock King

Plot (as given by me):

Hamilton Hill, the future Mayor of Gotham, catches a subway to work at his law firm, and finds himself sitting opposite businessman and efficiency expert Temple Fugate, who is preparing for a hearing regarding a judgement of $20 million dollars against his company.  Hill warns Fugate that he needs to unwind a bit before the court hearing or the judge may rule against him by misreading his tension as guilt. Taking Hill’s advice, Fugate takes his coffee break 15 minutes later than normal and goes to the park instead of staying in the office.  This leads to mishaps that result in him appearing late and dishevelled, prompting the judge to rule summarily against Fugate, causing the demise of his business.

 Seven years later, Hill is now mayor of Gotham and in the process of starting a re-election campaign.  On his way to a fund-raiser for the campaign, Hill is detained when traffic lights at an intersection are tampered with, and at the same time a poster mocking Hill is unveiled on the side of a building.  Bruce Wayne is also caught in the traffic mishap, and spies the culprit on a nearby rooftop. He attempts to interfere as Batman, but the culprit (Fugate now lightly disguised as the timing-obsessed Clock King) manages to escape through his expert use of timing.

 Batman’s investigations of the traffic incident soon give him Fugate’s name, and when a bank is the subject of a targeted black-out to disable its time locks, the dark knight deduces this to also be Fugate’s work. At the bank’s vault, Batman is trapped inside by Fugate, who reveals via audio recording that he has left a high-speed vacuum pump to drain the vault’s air.  The pump will take less time than Batman’s cutting torch, and it’s rigged with a vibration-sensitive explosive to prevent Batman tampering with it.  However, Batman is able to break open the audio cassette and use the magnetic ribbon to rig up a pulley system; using this, he moves the pump to the vault door and then sets it off by hitting it with a batarang.

 The bank vault, however, was ultimately successful in that while Batman is getting free, Fugate sabotages the opening of a Gotham subway station by making two subway trains crash at the station.  Only minor injuries are reported, but in the confusion the mayor has gone missing.  Batman, hearing of this and recalling Fugate having a lot of plans of a clock tower, swiftly realises Fugate has kidnapped Hill and taken him to the tower.

 At the clock tower, Fugate has tied Hill to the clock hands, which will crush Hill at 3:15; the time Hill suggested Fugate take his coffee break at seven years earlier.  As Hill’s law firm represented the plaintiffs in the case against Fugate, the timing-obsessed criminal has become convinced Hill’s advice was deliberate sabotage, and thus he various crimes throughout the day have been about exacting revenge on Hill. Batman arrives and engages Fugate in combat inside the workings of the giant clock, until Fugate’s clock-hand sword jams the gears, causing a catastrophic collapse.  Batman and Hill escape, and while there is no sign of Fugate in the aftermath, Batman believes that a man with Fugate’s use of timing could easily have escaped as well.

Review:

While the main antagonist of this episode shares his codename and use of timing with a DC Comics villain that was mainly a foe of Green Arrow, this show puts a different person behind the name and modus operandi, complete with a different origin story.  It’s a decent story, and one that certainly breaks a major convention of the series by having Batman operate in the daytime instead of being a strictly night-time crime fighter.  However, that sort of change is good because it adds somewhat to the variety of the show while also taking the main character out of his comfort zone a bit. On a personal note, I also enjoy this episode because what happens to Fugate illustrates why if you’re someone who is worried about being somewhere on time, you should never listen to any advice that might put you behind schedule.

 Hill might think what he’s suggesting will help Fugate, but it’s clear he’s not really engaged with Fugate and doesn’t understand the man.  Anyone who is this good with timing clearly needs everything to run like, well, clockwork in order to be relaxed.  I know because I’m often the same way and can’t stand the idea of being late to anything even where it might be the social norm.  If being late is going to cause someone anxiety, don’t try to suggest that they do anything that’s going to risk making them late.  Don’t tell them to have their break at another time or to get out of their routine; let them stay in their routine because odds are they need that routine just to keep calm.

 As much as Fugate goes overboard on the revenge, Hill deserves the opening salvo of the traffic incident and poster graffiti, and so does anyone who tries to advise others on how to calm down without knowing them.  Also, changes in routine and getting outside won’t help if the source of anxiety still exists.  Anxiety, like every problem in existence, has only solution; deal with the problem at its source.  Got an illness?  Go for whatever treatment wipes it out or lets your immune system do so.  Don’t like the current government?  Vote to change who runs it and get everyone you can to vote the same way?  Want to stop discrimination of any kind?  Fight every kind actively, aggressively and never, ever just say ‘I’m not that kind of bigot’ and then do nothing else.  Problems are only ever solved by action, not evasion.

 So overall, this is a good episode with an interesting premise and a story that highlights the folly of giving well-meant advice if you don’t really know the person you’re advising.  It’s not one of the highlights of the series, but I’d be hard-pressed to consider it a flop of any kind.  I’d say about 8 out of 10 for this one.

Episode 26: Appointment in Crime Alley

Plot (as given by me):

Roland Daggett wants to buy up and redevelop Gotham’s Park Row, a formerly nice area of the city that has now become a slum so infested with crime that it is better known as Crime Alley.  However, most of the residents of the area cannot afford to live anywhere else, so they are resisting Daggett’s plans.  To that end, Daggett hires an arsonist known as Nitro to destroy the slum and make it look like a faulty gas main ruptured.  Daggett asks that the explosion occur that evening at 9pm, which is when Daggett will be otherwise occupied giving his speech to the Gotham Better Business Council.

 Bruce Wayne deduces Daggett is up to something as he watches news commentary on the Park Row situation, but he has his own appointment to keep in the area an hour prior to Daggett’s deadline, one he has apparently never failed to make.  Bruce heads to the area as Batman, but is delayed when a girl comes running out of an apartment building screaming for help.  Batman enters the apartment to find three crooks trying to terrorise the girl’s mother out of the place.  The dark knight swiftly defeats the crooks and learns they’ve been strong-arming everyone in Crime Alley to leave, suggesting they may be working for Daggett.

 Meanwhile, Crime Alley resident and physician Dr Leslie Thompkins realises Batman is running late and sets out to look for him, insisting to her friend Maggie that she’ll be alright, having lived in the area for 30 years.  However, Leslie is abducted and tied up by Nitro and Daggett’s henchman Crocker when she discovers them rigging explosives in a condemned building.  When Batman learns Leslie has gone out in search of him after he was delayed, he begins to search for her.  He is then delayed when a desperate Crime Alley resident holds a clerk from Daggett Industries hostage for serving him eviction papers.  Batman manages to diffuse the situation and resumes his search for Leslie.

 A check of Leslie’s apartment reveals nothing, apart from a scrapbook that explains the nature of her relationship to Batman; Crime Alley was where Bruce’s parents were shot and killed, and Leslie was there to comfort the grieving Bruce, being a colleague of Bruce’s father as well as a local resident.  Seeing a homeless man staring through the window, Batman confronts him and learns of Leslie’s abduction.  He is delayed getting to her by having to stop an out-of-control tram trolley, which forces him to abandon the Batmobile and finish his journey on foot.

 Finding Crocker and Nitro in the midst of completing their work, Batman locks them inside their own van and diffuses the bombs Leslie is tied up next to.  Leslie urges Batman to forget her and get everyone out of a nearby hotel that has become a sanctuary for many people with nowhere else to live.  As Daggett gives his speech, sections of Crime Alley explode, but when Daggett later appears on the scene, it turns out all the residents and most of the buildings are still ok.  Only a few condemned buildings are taken out by the blasts, and Daggett’s men are under arrest.  However, Daggett denies any involvement and pins the blame on the neighbourhood’s high crime rate.

 As Daggett leaves, Leslie urges Batman to let it go, and the pair walk away to keep their appointment, each laying a rose at the place where Bruce’s parents were murdered years before.

Review:

When it comes to adapting Batman’s supporting cast from the comics, there are a few characters who get over-looked in most versions, and Dr Leslie Thompkins is a major oversight in most incarnations. While Alfred’s place as Batman’s butler and Bruce Wayne’s surrogate father figure is generally ensured in every iteration of the character, the surrogate mother role played by Leslie is less featured.  The fact that this series actually bothered to include her at all, and does so with such accuracy to the source material, is another example of why this show remains so iconic and definitive in terms of Batman adaptations.

 Of course, the key to making this work is two-fold.  First, the episode is apparently based on a specific comic-book story, which wasn’t something this series or later DC animated universe productions did very often. Second, they had Diana Muldaur, better known to Trek audiences as Dr Kate Polaski from season two of Star Trek: TNG, voicing Leslie, and while I didn’t generally care for her TNG character, she brings the right warmth and kindliness to her role in this episode. We also get Ed Asner back as Roland Daggett, which helps to ensure Rupert Thorne isn’t the only animated series original criminal that’s getting repeat appearances.  It also gives the episode a suitably notable antagonist to keep it interesting.  Overall, I’m inclined to put this one in the top-scorers club for this series; 10 out of 10.

[au10]

Eastwood

So I watched all the westerns by Eastwood. Below you’ll find my list of what I’d say are his best to not necessarily worst just not great. Keep in mind that this list is just my opinion and yours very well may differ and hey that’s great. Also keep in mind there will be spoilers but to be fair the majority of these movies are older than me. I would also like to point out that I didn’t view Rawhide as I really didn’t seem like something I’d like. The list is as best as I can tell are all of his westerns. Some are kind of iffy as I don’t consider them a western. 

http://most-wanted-western-movies.com/clint-eastwood-westerns/

1.”Unforgiven” 1992

 My original pick was going to be “For a Few dollars more”. I re-watched Unforgiven again and have decided that Unforgiven is his best western. Made in 1992. It features Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman and Richard Harris. There might even be more stars but those are the ones that stood out to me. The plot basically goes like this. William Munny a ruthless killer back in the day settles down with a woman who changes his life. He gave up his killer ways. The wife is already dead when the movie starts and Munny stays on the good path for lack of better phrasing. I don’t want to spoil to much more but needless to say a large bounty put on some ruffians leads to some nice action. 

I love the soundtrack to this movie. Well at least one song in particular and that’s Claudia’s theme. You can YouTube if you wish. I think it’s really great. 

A couple of quotes that I enjoyed. 

“ I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned”

.”It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.“

2. “For a few dollars more” 1965

 This is the sequel to a “Fistful of dollars”. It’s part of the famous dollar trilogy movies. Made in 1965 Eastwood portrays the man with no name. I really like  Lee Van Cleef as Col. Douglas Mortimer. It’s a revenge type of western. Both Cleef and Eastwood characters are pretty much bounty hunters. Cleef has an entirely different motive for his actions though. They seem to have great chemistry together too. I also like the dialogue between them as well. Clint Eastwood's character calls Lee Van Cleef's character "old man", while Van Cleef's character calls Eastwood "boy". Once more I love the music plays when the pocket watch is opened up. 

3.” A fist full of dollars.” 1964  

The beginning if you will of the the man with no name trilogy or dollars trilogy which ever you prefer. The dollars trilogy is what you call a spaghetti western. “ Spaghetti westerns were not rated highly due to their low budgets, over the top violence and inferior art work. But, these Spaghetti Westerns changed that perception forever. Director Sergio Leone gave one after another hit and this trilogy made Clint Eastwood a mega star. “ Some people don’t like them or they find them to corny. Each to their own. I loved the movies. My father pointed out to me one of the things that bugged him was the constant camera cuts to the other characters in the film. It especially focuses on their eyes. I never noticed it until he pointed it out. I do love the scene where he confronts the bullies/bad guys. On his way to them. He passes by the undertaker and tells him to get three coffins ready. After the shootout he passes back by the undertaker and tells him my mistake 4 coffins.

4. “The Good, The bad and the Ugly.” 1966 

The last of the dollars trilogy. A lot of people will say that this is the best of the three movies. Like the previous  film it also stars Lee Van Cleef. This time though he is one of the villain’s. It’s a good movie. I enjoyed  Eli Wallach as Tuco. Once more you have the music on point with  The Ecstasy of Gold. I heard that song years earlier when Metallica would use it. My last thought on this trilogy is I do love how Eastwood is always smoking those little cigars. I have read though he actually hated them.

“ You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. “

5. “Two Mules for Sister Sara” 1970

This one is a film I really liked. It doesn’t seem to be as serious as the previous I’ve listed above. It actually has quite a few comedic moments in it. I think one of the best parts of the movie is after Hogan (Eastwood) saves Sara from impending doom. She gets dressed and comes back out in her nun gear. Once Hogan realizes she is a known his expression is great then he exclaims “Jesus Christ”. I noticed this movie had blood in it. A lot of the earlier ones don’t. One guy gets his arm cut off and one takes a machete to the face. It’s a good movie and I enjoyed it. I should note the soundtrack or at least one song they play over at times in the film is a play on the title. It sounds like a mule actually braying. Pretty nifty. 

6. “Pale Rider” 1985

Another good movie. Eastwood is just known as the preacher in this movie. He helps out a prospect town from becoming a mining town. When the prospectors will not give up their land. A marshal and his deputies are sent in to get prospectors out. It’s hinted at that the marshal may know the preacher form the way he reacts after told his description. This is definitely one of my favorites though. It does get a little weird with the preacher having intercourse with a guy’s girlfriend. The action is great though. It should be noted that it’s been told that Eastwood’s charter is a ghost in this film. Richard Kiel is in this movie as well. He is a well established actor. Most likely known for playing Jaws in Moonraker. 

7. Outlaw Josey wales 1976

A lot of people like this movie. It’s Eastwoods only PG rated western. It’s once more a revenge type western. Josey’s family is murdered by the Union army and he joins a confederate group to get his revenge. I think one of the best parts in the movie is when Josey shoots the rope holding a ferry going across the river. Some of the Union soldiers horses fall into the river preventing them from reaching Wales. This movie is said to be George Strait’s favorite. I did find it funny that the old man in charge of the ferry was playing to both sides. If you were a Confederate he would sing “Dixie” if you were a Union solider he would sing “Battle hymn of the republic” Ever the opportunist I suppose. 

"Well Mr. Carpetbagger, we got something in this territory called a Missoura boat ride!"

"Well are ya' gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"

8.”High plains drifter” 1973

This movie could be almost a part of the man with no name trilogy. It’s just not as good. I liked the midget character named Mordecai . He is one of the best in the movie and funny. This is one of the movies where it’s possible that the stranger (Eastwood’s character) could be a ghost. Some people say he is the sheriff’s brother. Eastwood has said that himself. Then again some people say he is the ghost of the sheriff himself. It’s up to the viewer and how you choose to interpret it. This movie also marks the first movie Eastwood directed that was a western.

“You're going to look pretty silly with that knife sticking out of your ass.“

9. “Hang’em High” 1968

This was Eastwoods first major role in America. The Dollars trilogy had yet to come out over here in America. Jed  (Eastwoods character) is wrongfully hanged by a posse. He naturally seeks revenge after being rescued. He becomes a Marshal and winds up bringing some of the posse to justice. It also stars Pat Hingle. I really only know him from Tim Burton’s Batman. He played Commissioner Gordon. 

10. “Joe Kidd” 1972

To be honest with you this movie really doesn’t do anything for me at all. It’s not a bad movie but it’s not one that really captivates me either. It stars Robert Duvall as a rich/wealthy landowner trying to push Mexicans off of their land. He hires Eastwood’s character named Joe Kidd. It does have some decent moments. A pretty cool scene shows Kidd taking out a gunman upon a rock. The final fight is also pretty neat where Kidd drives a train through the bar.

Honorable Mentions: 

1.”Bronco Billy” 1980

This movie was on the list and I viewed it. I liked it. Eastwood plays a carnival showman. It’s your typical story of guy and girl don’t get along. Then as the movie progresses they start to get along and wind up with one another. It’s not a western but it has the theme. It does have  Scatman Crothers in it as Doc. Throw in a crooked lawyer and a crooked husband and this is the movie you have. 

2. “Paint your wagon” 1969 

This set during the gold rush. It is a musical though and you can get the soundtrack on itunes. I heard about this movie from The Simpsons years ago. It doesn’t have a western feel to me. Eastwood plays Pardner. It’s a cool little musical. It’s an interesting movie though. A Mormon has two wives and he sells one. Well Pardner and his partner Ben rum son played by Lee Marvin buys her. Elizabeth the wife that was purchased basically has two husbands. It’s really a good movie. My favorite song being “Wand’rin Star”

3. “The Beguiled” 1971

They had this movie on the list and there again I witched it. It’s certainly not a western. It’s okay. Eastwood kind of plays a bad guy in it but only to survive. Set in the Civil War era. He is an injured Union solider rescued by a little girl. She takes him to an all girls school. It should be noted that this is the only movie in which a character portrayed by Eastwood dies. 

[b-rainlet]

Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.

(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)

Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).

For now, have this:

(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).

Favourite Male Character

You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D

Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.

(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).

Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.

(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).

But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!

(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).

(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)

Favourite Female Character

Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.

I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!

I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.

Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).

Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.

(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).

Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.

I just.....women. Women good.

(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).

Least Favourite Character

I don't have many characters that I hate??

I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).

But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.

For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.

Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.

Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).

And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.

Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.

Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.

Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.

Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.

But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.

(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).

My made up version of Miah though? I love him.

With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.

It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?

It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.

(Another victim of bad writing).

Favourite Ship

I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D

There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!

I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).

Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.

I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D

I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.

(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).

Favourite Friendship

So many good relationships on this show!

I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs

Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again. 

Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald. 

(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships). 

And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad. 

(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)

Favourite Quote

I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”

Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”

(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively). 

Worst Character Death

I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D

But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!

Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy. 

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D

But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!

And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao. 

(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon). 

From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk. 

Saddest Moment

Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her. 

She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne. 

(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though). 

Favourite Location

There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D

But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.

Also!! Jeremiah's church!

Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).

There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Count Dracula

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So, in all my time doing Psycho Analysis, there have been a few villainous characters that, while extremely obvious, have such large and daunting scopes that it seems a bit scary to think I could accurately analyze them. Characters like Disney’s Pete or Bowser come to mind. Both are obvious 11s, but where to even begin with them? And that is a similar problem I faced with the villain who is arguably the single most important foe to ever grace fiction: Count Dracula.

How on Earth is one supposed to talk about a character who has spanned so much media and has remained an enduring fixture of pop culture for over a century? The guy has been in movies, comics, books, video games, plays, cartoons, musicals, songs… and he hasn’t even been a villain in all of them! How does one talk about such a villain with such a broad, all-encompassing scope?

The obvious answer is, of course, to talk about him in a broad sense and how he has affected culture, of course! This one’s going to be a little different than usual since I’m focusing more on the concept of Dracula than one single version, so there’s a lot of Dracula’s to go over here:

Performance: Throughout the years, Dracula has had many actors take a shot at him, though I think the finest takes are courtesy of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee. The former is basically what cemented Dracula as a sexy, Gothic horror icon, changing the far less attractive man from the book into a seductive monster that would color numerous adaptations after. Lee’s take brings the sexy, but is also far more violent and monstrous, mostly because Hammer horror films were all about that bright red blood, so gotta have someone spill it all!

If you’re looking for more flamboyant, hammy Draculas, Richard Roxbourg of Van Helsing and Duncan Regehr of The Monster Squad have you covered, playing Dracula at his most deliciously, monstrously evil. However, the hammiest (and thus most amazing) Dracula was Michael Guinn’s take in Symphony of the Night, with the entire opening exchange between him and Richter Belmont being a testament to the joys of chewing the scenery.

More comedic takes on Dracula have popped up over the years, with the most notable ones being Adam Sandler’s lovable, fatherly take on the character in the Hotel Transylvania films and Phil LaMarr’s performance on Billy and Mandy, where he plays a ridiculous, possibly senile version of Dracula who is abrasive and hilarious in equal measure.

Basically, when it comes to Dracula, you can easily find any sort of performance to suit your needs and give you what you’re looking for.

Best Scene: Over the years, Dracula has had a great many fantastic moments under his belt, so many fantastic scenes and boss battles… but for my money, the single greatest moment Dracula has ever been in is the opening battle of Symphony of the Night. Just watch this cheesy melodrama unfold and try and disagree with me:

Though, of course, his death in the animated series sure is a contender:

Best Quote: From the above scene, we have “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!” among moany other meme-worthy bits of dialogue from Dracula. 

On the subject of Castlevania, from the TV show we have Dracula at his most tragic and pitiable, especially when he delivers these fantastically tragic lines like “ It's your room... My boy... I'm- I'm killing my boy... Lisa... I'm killing our boy. We painted this room. We... made these toys. It's our boy, Lisa... your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him. I must already be dead.” and “Your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him." as he does battle with his son, Alucard.

Then of course, we have the legendary moment from The Monster Squad where Dracula drops any pretense and starts strangling a little girl, screaming in her face "Give me the amulet, you bitch!" It’s so deliciously, horrendously evil!

Final Thoughts & Score: It’s very strange to think of how much all of fiction owes Dracula. The original book invented a lot of traits (the lack of reflection being one) and popularized others (such as shapeshifting and weakness to garlic), but at the same time also predates a lot of things modern vampire fiction takes for granted. The Dracula of the book has no weakness to sunlight and gets younger as he drinks blood, starting as an old man; in fact, Dracula in the book is entirely lacking in the Gothic sex appeal that almost every adaptation of the character after would give him. He was also not very seductive, instead outright attacking women if he wasn’t hypnotizing them. Hell, he wasn’t even explicitly Vlad the Impaler in the books!

More than any other villain I’ve covered so far, Dracula is truly deserving of an 11/10. Even Count Orlok owes him a debt, seeing as Nosferatu was just a blatant ripoff. Hell, aside from villains from old mythology, I don’t think any villain can lay claim to the sort of scope Dracula has, having forever altered vampire fiction even as certain elements of him become lost in translation.

But what of some of his other incarnations over the years? How do they fare in terms of score? Well, I’m certainly not going to be incredibly thorough and list every Dracula ever, but here are a few I’ve encountered:

Obviously it’s unfair to give the Bela Lugosi incarnation anything less than an 11/10, mainly because this is the Dracula who pretty much inspired most other interpretations of Dracula after him. He’s suave, Gothic, attractive in that dark and mysterious way… it’s no wonder Lugosi’s Dracula became such an iconic fixture of cinema. Then we have the other classic Dracula, Christopher Lee’s take. I think he’s only a 10/10 because I feel like Lee’s tenure is a bit more overlooked and Lugosi tends to supplant him in terms of iconic status.

Castlevania as a franchise is specifically built qround defeating Dracula as the heroic Belmont clan or some adjacent vampire hunter. So you’d better hope that the big bad and master of the magical castle the game takes place in is impressive, right? Well he most certainly is; while he’s not completely fleshed out in every appearance he has some, like his iconic portrayal in Symphony of the Night, really help sell the idea this incarnation of Dracula is a rather tragic villain, though at other times in the series he seems to revel in being a monster far more than that interpretation would allow. Notably, the Castlevania show went with the more tragic approach to great effect, with Graham McTavish delivering a fantastic performance that swings from being genuinely terrifying to hauntingly emotional (just watch the scene where he breaks down upon fighting Alucard and realizing he’s killing his own son). Both game (in a broad sense) and show Dracula get a 10/10, for different reasons.

Duncan Regehr portrayed the Dracula in The Monster Squad, and it is quite obvious he’s having a hell of a time. He’s just wonderfully hammy, and he might be one of the most evil Draculas ever seeing how he called a little girl a bitch and tried to slaughter children with dynamite. This one’s a 9/10 for sure. I honestly think he’s the best take on the character, but his movie is sadly too obscure to really give him that push to being a truly iconic portrayal. He just captures the menace and charisma of Dracula so well, it’s a shame more people don’t know about him.

Van Helsing had a Dracula, played to hammy perfection by Richard Roxburgh. Say what you will about the rest of the film, but any Dracula movie that features evil bat monster Dracula fighting fallen angel werewolf Hugh Jackman in a battle to the death over Frankenstein’s atomic heart is worth at least an 8/10. For a more minor role, we have the Dracula who appeared in the blaxploitation classic Blacula. While he only appears for a bit at the start, long enough to curse an African prince with vampirism and dub him “Blacula,” this Dracula firmly cements himself as one of the most evil Draculas ever, gleefully participating in the slave trade. I believe that’s another 8/10 right there. On a related note, Blacula serves as a chief inspiration to the Billy and Mandy incarnation of Dracula, who is a cranky old black man with a big mustache and lots of sass (in fact, he’s accidentally closer to the original book’s depiction than most other Draculas). Sadly, as a more neutral chaotic comedic figure, I can’t give him a rating, but boy is he a riot.

Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf features a more comedic and zany Dracula, one who participates in some good-old-fashioned Wacky Races cheating in an attempt to keep Shaggy as a werewolf forever. He’s mostly amusing for a oneshot villain, so I’d say 7/10 is fair. Speaking of oneshot villains, Dracula also showed up in an animated straight to video movie for The Batman, where he did things such as turn Joker into a vampire and get killed by Batman. He’s probably a 7/10 as well.

And then there are all the heroic takes on Dracula, such as the version from Dracula Untold or the “overbearing but endearing father” take on the character from the Hotel Transylvania movies (though that rap Adam Sandler does at the end of the first movie is pretty heinous).

And this is not an extensive list by any means. There are so many Draculas I haven’t watched yet, so many different takes I haven’t read the adventures of. And that, I think, is what makes Dracula such a great villain. He is a character who any writer can bend and shape to fit a plot, a villain who can serve almost any purpose and who can fit in almost any fantasy story imaginable. Dracula is incredibly versatile, and whenever he shows up in a work, things almost always get better for a bit. And keep in mind, this is a character who has been around since the year 1897, and yet he is still a household name that even people who have never read the books or seen the movies can accurately describe and recognize.

Is Count Dracula the greatest villain in all of human history? It’s debatable for sure, but I don’t think there’s any denying he’s up there considering his scope and influence and how he helped mold modern vampire fiction into what it is today. If nothing else, Dracula is still wildly influential.

[roguish-gallery]

Here's another AU scenario. If Bane had beaten Batman again and STILL was Ra's al Ghul's heir, how much influence and power the guy will have while in the League of Assassins? Also, if he and Talia al Ghul married each other, how well could their marriage potentially be if both LoA members try to make their union work out for them?

ahhh I’m so sorry for the late response! I’ve been rereading the Bane comics, and I finally got to the Legacy arc. this is a great question, and I enjoyed thinking over it, even though my response is ultimately one that isn’t particularly positive. This gets long, so I’m putting everything under the readmore.

Content warning for abuse and sexual assault

I’ll start this by stating that I’m not a particularly big fan of the League of Assassins, so my experience with them is somewhat limited. I’m sorry, but I just… don’t like… Talia. I know I ought to read more comics featuring her before I come to conclusions, but my first impressions of her aren’t… uhh… good.

I think Bane would have considerable power within the LOA, considering how loyal Ra’s followers are; if Ra’s has approved Bane as his successor, then his followers will honor that decision. Normally, I would be concerned with how thoughtlessly Bane treats the LoA henchmen… but it doesn’t seem much different to how expendable Talia and her father treat them, so I assume they’ve accepted it as part of their lifestyle. I would assume there would be an struggle for power between Bane and Talia; Bane being the hand-picked heir, and Talia being Ra’s actual child, and someone who holds the ideologies that formed the LoA.

The thing is, Bane is at a stage of his life where he’s still very rough around the edges. (I mean... he’s still rough around the edges even after this) at this point, Bane has this mindset where he cannot consistently trust others; he only views other people as tools to use, and throw away after. It takes a full decade of multiple people writing for him before Bane matures enough to accept his flaws and to learn some humility. In this AU, Bane would not have had the chance to soften over time because his egotistical mindset would have been enabled by the LoA.

Regarding the marriage between Talia and Bane… I genuinely don’t think it would have worked out, not really. At best, Talia would have tolerated Bane out of obligation towards her father, but that can only last for so long. Talia would always be mourning the loss of Bruce, and Bane would be left frustrated, knowing that he’s done literally everything he could have done to win her affections, and she’s still pining over the man that he broke.

It’s just a very, very toxic relationship for them both; in the comics, Talia is constantly berating Bane, literally calling him a stupid animal at multiple points, and tries to kill him several times within the span of three comics. Bane isn’t any better, as he tried to assault, and harass Talia into reciprocating his feelings despite her obvious lack of consent. I love Bane, and I know that he becomes a better person, but these actions are reprehensible and cannot be defended.

I mentioned this earlier, but they have diametrically different goals; Bane doesn’t care about the health of the planet, because he’s only concerned with being at the top of the hierarchy; the LoA is just another means to an end for him, nothing more. He doesn’t hate humanity as Ra’s does, He is apathetic at most. He might help to rebuild society if it came to it, but he’s more concerned with other affairs, like gaining immortality. Bruce was originally Ra’s choice as his heir partially because Bruce cared about the state of the world and wanted to make things better. Bane lacks that. Talia, meanwhile, has been raised to uphold Ra’s goals, and will carry them out by any means necessary. Bane’s disinterest would frustrate her.

Also, not to be that person but… should they have had children, I am 100% certain that they would use them as leverage against each other. If Talia was willing to use Damian against Bruce, I can only imagine what she would do with the children she has with Bane. Concerning Bane, although has a soft spot for infants and children, I imagine wouldn’t be above using his own in order to undermine Talia- especially since he never would have been taught humility through defeat in this AU

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers. 

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”.  Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me. 

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least.  Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least).  Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs. 

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it.  This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there. 

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy. 

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all. 

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run. 

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit.  However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough.  So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all. 

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her.  Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright. 

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know.  Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head.  Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit.  And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap.  Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs.  Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing.  It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall.  So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is  a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that. 

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective.  A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great. 

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow. 

[twistedtummies2]

Gotham’s 31 Most Wanted - NUMBER ONE

The first month of the new year ends today. Ladies and gentlemen…undecided…fellow geeks and nerds alike…the hour has come. Today marks the end of Gotham’s 31 Most Wanted. All throughout January, I’ve counted down My Top 31 Favorite Batman Villains of All Time. Now, the time has arrived for me to unveil the wicked fiend at the top of the criminal heap. If you haven’t guessed who it is by now – especially if you know me fairly well – that’s quite a shock. But if you need a hint: he can’t be killed, that’s why they cast a Phoenix to play him. (And again, if you got that reference, you are awesome.) MY NUMBER ONE FAVORITE BATMAN VILLAIN IS…The Joker.

Now, for MOST of you reading this, this is probably neither a surprise nor a disappointment. The Joker – The Clown Prince of Crime – has been Batman’s nemesis practically since he was first created. The character first appeared in the first issue of Batman’s title series in 1940; the character had only been around for three years, and most of his villains prior to the Ace of Knaves never really “stuck,” so to speak. However, despite apparently dying in that first issue, the Joker was, at the last minute, given a second lease of life: someone on the team making Batman recognized the potential of the character, and a final panel of the comic was hastily slapped together, revealing that the Joker wasn’t actually dead. This began a long tradition for the character: over and over and over again, the Joker has seemingly died in horrible ways. He’s been stabbed, shot, electrocuted, drowned, torched, blown to bits, hit by automobiles, and has fallen from great heights, just to name a FEW of the ways the character has seemingly kicked the bucket…but, inevitably, the character pops up again, usually with no real explanation of HOW he survived, just to cause trouble once more. However, one could argue this also marked the beginning of a trend that, in recent years, has been seen more and more frequently: the OVERUSE of the Joker. You see, after that initial appearance in Batman #1, the Joker appeared over and Over and OVER again in multiple stories that followed, almost one after the other. And to this date, the character has appeared – both in and out of comics – more times than any other Batman Villain out there. Counting only live-action standalone theatrical films (and you will note how VERY specific that category is), the character has appeared in movies no less than FOUR times. In direct contrast, looking at the same category, most Batman Villains who have even gotten a CHANCE to appear in such movies don’t get more than one or two appearances. I think the only ones who have come close so far are Catwoman and Scarecrow, and in the latter’s case, that was because he appeared in all three “episodes” of the Dark Knight Trilogy. So, technically, there’s only one version of Jonathan Crane in this sector. And let’s not even THINK of other media beyond that, like animated features, TV shows and their spinoffs, direct-to-video movies, video games, et cetera and so on and Scooby-Dooby-Doo. (Literally, since he’s APPEARED in Scooby-Doo…multiple times…see what I mean?) As a result of this constant popping up over and over again, the character has, in recent years, received a bit of a backlash. It’s probably been around for a while, but the time when I heard it becoming most vocal was when the “Arkham” games came out. In “Arkham City,” you see, the character died, and many fans felt it was one of the best “True” deaths the character had. It was even meant to cap off a career, as it marked – at the time – what everybody thought would be the inimitable Mark Hamill’s last time playing the role. But just as he has in comics before, the Joker – and Hamill as the Joker – returned in later installments of the series, and many felt the Clown Prince was starting to poke his pale nose into places he really didn’t belong. More and more people were saying that the Joker was, while perhaps not necessarily OVERRATED as a villain, certainly OVERUSED: people wanted other Batman Villains to get the same focus and attention he was getting, and for DC to stop falling back on him as a way to get sales going and get fans interested. I must confess, despite my placing him here at the top…very recently, I’ve started having similar feelings. I needn’t discuss the…well…EVERYTHING that was Jared Leto’s Joker, and while I personally liked the TV series “Gotham,” the way they handled Joker/The Valeska Brothers is actually one of my personal biggest upsets with the series. Those are just two examples. However, it doesn’t annoy me as much as the overuse I’ve mentioned from his (ex?) girlfriend, Harley Quinn, who really, REALLY gets on my nerves with how she keeps popping up in places and in ways she really shouldn’t. It's for this reason some may feel that me placing the Joker as my favorite villain is too predictable, and perhaps not even fully deserved. But here’s the thing: being overused does NOT mean the character, by default, is bad. Do I wish other Batman Rogues would get more attention? WELL, DUH. I’d love to see a more comic-accurate take on Two-Face, or a film with Scarecrow as the main bad guy, or, heck, ANYTHING with Jervis Tetch on the silver screen. GOD. PLEASE. JUST….SOMETHING WITH JERVIS TETCH. But that doesn’t make me like the Joker, himself, any less. The ways he works and the reasons he works have been analyzed, argued, and even essayed upon so many times, I think not even HE would find it funny at this point; he’s a character who opens up discussion very easily, and you can see why his fate as the Dark Knight’s arch-nemesis was so quickly set. With all the horrible things he’s done to Batman over the years, no one is truly a more personal threat than him; sure, Bane broke his back, and sure, Catwoman and Talia have had many a romance with him, but it’s hard to say any of them have CONSISTENTLY proven to be as big a pain the neck as the Joker. He’s crippled friends, murdered allies – occasionally allowing them to return as villains themselves – and done numerous other atrocities that are pretty hard for ANY Batman Villain to top, not only in terms of how high the body count ranks, but in just how HORRIBLE the actions are and how meaningless the reasons frequently tend to be. He is, very simply, one of the most evil characters in literary history…and yet also one of the most entertaining. The genius of the Joker, generally speaking, is he makes you laugh and grin…but then you realize what you’re laughing at, and you almost feel nauseated. He is the Master of Dark Humor. Ever since I was a little boy, the Joker was pretty much always my favorite Batman Villain. And as time has gone on, that feeling has never truly wavered, and I doubt it ever will. In fact, as time has gone on, instead of liking the Joker less, I’ve only seemed to like him more and more; as a kid, I liked the character for his dark sense of humor, his eye-catching design, his zany gadgets and tricks, and his flair for the dramatic. As an adult, I find the philosophy of the character fascinating, I like seeing how different people interpret his origins, and I love to see how people continually toy with the twisted relationship he has with the Dark Knight. Much like Batman himself, he’s another one of those characters it’s just really hard to ruin…though Lord knows certain reimaginings have done their best to attempt THAT. Is he perhaps too popular and too focused on for his own good? Oh, almost undeniably…but at least he’s popular and focused on for a good reason, at the end of the day. It's better him than Killer Moth. The Joker: forever and always My Favorite Batman Villain…and, very possibly, my favorite villain of all time, period. “Laugh, Clown, Laugh.” Thank you all for joining me during the course of this countdown! I don’t know if I’ll do another one in the future; not sure what topic it may cover or what event it could be for. XD We’ll see what happens, but in any case, hope you all stay safe, and let’s hope 2021 shapes up better than 2020 as the New Year Rolls On…

[sparrowsabre7]

Thoughts on the Snyder Cut Chapter 3 of 6

So the famous Barry Allen saving Iris West scene is added back in, but also features the kind of slightly awkward comedy you’d expect of a Whedon script. Also, the dude driving the truck due to crash into Iris seriously got a burger from “burger shop” like fucking try a little bit, guys. 

God he looks so weird doing his little half-run out of the shop to save her and unnecessarily spends 5 hours brushing her hair aside. I did appreciate the very unique take on super-speed though compared to say, Quicksilver from X-men. There’s an incredible delicateness about how he manoeuvres himself and Iris which is interesting to see, however, the sequence adds little besides that “Barry is a doer of good” which we already knew from the CCTV footage in BVS*. 

We then have ‘wolf gathering some Atlanteans for interrogation, after the stock “we will never betray Atlantis!” statement, he uses a weird spider robot to scan the guy’s brain or something and show him the location. The film would have been better without this scene, it - again - adds little and even beginning to think about how the fuck the mind projector spider would even work will distract the audience for at least the next five minutes.

Another scene of Lois Lane grieving. We had one added earlier in the film but I forgot to mention it because of just how inconsequential it was. God bless Amy Adams because she is clearly giving it her all but I’m not sure “Lois Lane grieving widow” is a much better look than “Lois Lane world’s thirstiest woman”, both undermine and neglect her as a character in her own right and I just hope the Snyder cut doesn’t have her just be a prop to satiate Superman’s rage like Josstice League. 

Back to Bruce and Diana, the latter now seems more proactive in helping Bruce search for the other supers, which is good. It also gives nod to Diana knowing the history of Amazons and Atlanteans. There is some sarcastic banter exchanged and some awkward accidental hand touching (are we sure this isn’t Josstice League?) *The aforementioned footage now plays out in full again here in case anyone watching this hadn’t seen BvS... this feels like an odd move. I could sort of understand it for cinemagoers who hadn’t seen BvS, but the Snyder Cut is so slavishly made for fans of Snyder’s work in the DCEU that it seems odd to repeat it here with colour commentary from Bruce and Diana. 

Cut to Victor Stone sadly watching kids play football and then flashback to his own football career which, credit where it’s due, is beautifully shot, looking straight out of 300 if it weren’t for the football gear. It also tips the hat to Victor having some hacking know-how prior to his Cyborg transformation, using it to help his friend’s grades - a move that is not merely standard high school hijinks, but done out of a sense of social justice and points to inequality within the school system. Much as this is another diversion that adds little, it is worthwhile and introduces some much needed nuance into the character of Victor and the world of Justice League as a whole. Snyder has a tendency to be heavy handed, but he does occasionally touch on issues which have weight and whether purposefully or not, his small-scale interaction with them makes them feel that much more real and ingrained in the world. Things like the Gotham PD largely ignoring their jobs to watch the game, the disabled Wayne Enterprises employee struggling to make ends meet, angry at the world, how different social classes view Batman’s actions. 

I digress, the sequence also puts Victor’s mother back into the picture and helps embed the kind of relationship Vic has with his father. Said mother is then unceremoniously killed in a car crash, diverging slightly from the otherwise somewhat faithful recreation of “Justice League: Origins” from the new 52 relaunch. This recontextualises Silas’ decision to apply the motherbox to his son as a rather more selfish act than in the comic, where it was ostensibly to undo a mistake he had made (or rather, undo the fallout of something he was working on). Clearly Victor agrees with this reading, as in the following montage we see Silas explain the extent of his powers as he uses them to fly, test his cyber control and finally grant a single mother a boon of $100,000 to keep her from becoming homeless. After this, Silas states “all this has been as a scientist, I would now like to talk to you as your father” upon which Victor simply crushes the recorder the message was playing on. Curiously the tape recorder was a literal tape recorder rather than digital and while it’s entirely possible that’s just an accident, it could also be that Silas knew any digital recorder would immediately be within Victor’s purview and thereby he would have no choice but to hear the message. In giving him an analogue tape recorder that choice was put back in his hands. This has been perhaps the most worthwhile addition so far, fleshing out Victor and his dynamic with his father, as well as a better explanation of his powers, perhaps making him one of the strongest members of the League. 

Bruce visits Barry, an exchange largely unchanged save for the thankful excision of the “brunch” dialogue which, while I never had a huge problem with it, was awkward to watch.

There’s a rather fun exchange between Alfred and Diana (generally a lot more Alfred in the Snyder cut in general actually) where he lectures her on how best to make tea and she sassily implies that Bruce is basically building her gauntlets only bat-themed. A throwaway scene but there’s fun chemistry here with Alfred ultimately bringing her tea when distracted, despite her assertion she’d make it herself. It segues into Victor and Diana’s first meeting, Diana’s dialogue seems unchanged but Cyborg’s dialogue is a little angrier; he also flies in in full Cyborg mode rather than stepping out in a hoodie. I’m not sure I like the alteration, it’s less subtle and doesn’t really change the tone of the scene. We then see Vic bury the motherbox in his own grave followed by a useless scene with Silas and Ryan Choi looking at a hunk of metal being super hot, with Choi then making another Whedonesque joke about that being what he said to his prom date. To be fair though, I keep saying Whedonesque at any bad jokes, but I have to remember Man of Steel had “I just think he’s kinda hot” scene which gave me immense secondhand embarrassment. 

We are now back to your regularly scheduled programming with the film mostly returning to playing out how Josstice League did: Jim Gordon is introduced, the bat signal shines, the Atlantean motherbox is stolen (albeit with added violence and additional Amber Heard). The extension does make the scene flow better for sure, though I question if the blood and bissecting is necessary.

It is now the halfway point and basically the full length of Josstice League has passed. I have to say, while there are certainly some improvements, I would by no means call this a definitive version, it absolutely needs significant editing to be a watchable movie, I feel like we’ve barely gotten anywhere and the small scraps of nuance gleaned from this version are not worth doubling the runtime. So far it does seem to have excised the weird Russian family cutaway scenes which is only a good thing, but little added has provided enough value to warrant this undertaking so far. Hopefully there’s enough in the latter half to assuage this feeling but so far it just feels like an exercise in directorial onanism.