#hey my gay

[hunteromeachair]

A new job, and new co-workers, is an internal minefield of deciding what to say and what to remind and what to insist on.

Can, or should, it be enough to be happy that a new co-worker asked if I preferred he \ him or if I used other pronouns, and then used them on our last shift together? Does it also have to be sad and complicated that he misgendered me with blissful unawareness the next shift we just finished working?

I feel just as positive about his ally-ship today as I did on our last shift. I am disappointed but also not surprised. We got to talk a lot today, just like last shift, and he is an incredibly open, curious, intentional person who values authentic connection and knows that he doesn't have anything figured out. He is respectful and I know that if I asked him directly to try to always use my pronouns, he probably would.

At work I am intentionally not pointing out my pronouns tattooed on my wrist, nor requesting that people use them, nor even wanting to tell people "officially". I guess the complications come from my own desire to not have to expend emotional energy in deciding what misgendering I'm ok with, and what I'm not.

If I have chosen to stealth, kinda, it means I can just kinda ignore every "he" and "his" and "man" and "bro" because I have a big beard and I am 5'10' and I am bald and I look like a man and I know that "man" is what people mostly see. My jewelry and my rainbow tattoo and my purse usually just land as "gay man", and the man part of that is the most important signifier for most everyone.

Sometimes I am seen as "faggot", a much broader and more dangerous category to be placed into. Disturbingly, I feel more seen by people who place me there. Their awareness that I fuck with gender gives me gender euphoria.

I am almost never ever seen as "woman", even though I am as much a woman as I am a man. I am seldom seen as "femminiello", which is what I actually am. And when I am it is only through choice - the default category for me is always man.

My new co-worker is an amazing ally in a real and practical sense. He started today by saying, "I didn't want to say 'Hey my guy' so I wonder if I can say 'Hey my gay' instead? And I told him fuck yeah he can!

Because I'm not too fussed that he called me "he" and "him" all day. He started today by telling me really directly he knows I'm not a man. And that feels the best: when people are clumsy or unsure or forgetful about pronouns but they make it clear that they know I'm not a man, I feel seen in a way that gives me little gender-gasms of delight.

New jobs suck. Being a complicated type of transgender person at a new job sucks, too. But like, not as much as I thought it would. At least not with the one co-worker I've actually spent time with. Maybe the rest are gonna surprise me too.

I wish it wasn't such a big deal that he made an intentional effort immediately upon seeing me that was validating and confirming that he saw me as who I am in such a simple way. I wish that it was just normal to be seen as who I am.

Even more than that, I feel incredibly lucky. Some guy at my work made a point of letting me know that I'm not a guy, and that's pretty fucking awesome.

[anniilaugh]

”When we’re together, we have no weakness. No vulnerability. We perfect each other.”

aka @wellship 's ”20 Year Waltz” and their ”The God with no back” concept lives in my head rent free and forever loved💚

[dizzybizz]

this is how the movie went, right?

[possiblyawesometmblr]

i'm allowing myself exactly one (1) moment of pure delusion:

jon martin jonah. thanks for your time.

[horrorhare]

you wear me out

[concretesweetner]

She Pride on my Month till i Happy

[kraftykelpie]

Tender moments shared

[wwillywonka]

Hell of a time to ask.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

[all-too-unwell-13]

i'm going to war (looking through the rosekiller tag for an actual rosekiller fic)

[deltapelagicpetrel]

alright time for my once-in-a-quarter post, this time the topic is griddlehark!!!!!!!! I love them so much i sure hope nothing bad happens to them ever hahahaha

[tubbytarchia]

shut up I'm on my drawing kisses arc

[itsstilltru]

AM: “Let me tell you how much I hate you, Ted.”

Ted, in tears: “again?”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[shockpinkrosary]

Sometimes I get the feeling she’s watching over me 🔥

[frankiebirds]

every day i think about elle and morgan going on vacation together and at least morgan wanting reid to come with. what were their intentions. were they bisexual in nature. also im also almost certain that this is the first time morgan calls reid "pretty boy" and it's while he's inviting him on vacation with him. it's 2005/2006 you cannot be this bisexual at your government job.

bonus:

yeah i think elle also wanted him to join them.

[laniidae-passerine]

positively obsessed with how Rockstar Lestat is the exact kind of guy one of my friends would show me a picture of and swear he’s really sexy and cool and brilliant. Whole time I’m thinking “oh dear GOD” staring at a trainwreck weirdo and wondering what’s happened to everybody else that is absolutely missing me. jesus christ he’s blond