#sowwy for disappearing

[martyryo]

"How long are you gonna pretend I'm the one tugging on your tie?"

[smokbeast]

sans sans sans and fang

[bishiglomper]

I talked to my sister. More like sobbed at her. But I guess things are okay.. I guess I'm placated..

The ticker tape feels more resolved but I still feel emotionally grimy.

Right now I've decided to be mad at my antidepressant. I hadn't even missed a day but I still had a mental breakdown. Usually it takes at least a whole 24 hours of no antidepressant before I get weepy.

I was out all day. We had a canopy and I had a parasol when the shade shifted so I wasn't really in direct sunlight. But I got burnt pretty good.

I'm literally diagnosed with hyperhidrosis, I get very damp from head to toe when I exert the tiniest amount of effort. Just drawing or sitting there playing with jewelry will do it if I'm fixated long enough. I don't have to be hot. I'll sweat when the temp is perfectly comfortable.

Yet somehow there was no sweating whatsoever when I came back to a 90+ degree house. I had to spray myself constantly or literally step into a cold shower fully clothed to cool myself down.

I was spraying my face and had a small fan half a foot from it and the air still felt hot

I don't think that's normal. And I think it's valid I had sensory overload. 😤 Might explain why I'm the only one who seemed to be suffering. Everyone else seemed content with an oscillating fan

Niece is fuckin weird she refused to have a fan pointed at her. Which made me worry about the baby 😵‍💫 but she gets fussy when she's hot so I guess even she was acclimated

I cannot help that my body is a bitchy dumpster fire okay

I still shouldn't have had to sit in a 90+ degree house.

I thought we weren't calling the landlord because the house was too messy to let people in but mom was content as long as there "was a path to the breaker" which my sister said was a very mild job. So I still don't understand why we were just sitting in it.

It was actually cold enough this morning mom turned on the heat. I turned it off.

Too soon, man. Too soon. 😔

[catsatopmydesk]

Omw to deny you the catharsis of punishment

[schleckermaul]

as briefly announced, here's a couple of threads i'm gonna be dropping! they're beneath the cut, feel free to hit me up if you'd like to start another instead, i just simply cannot drag my little feetsies to continue these 😔

generally speaking, the spiramonster threads. for some reason my brain didn't cooperate with them at all

and, generally speaking, isola witch ball threads!

[callsigns-haze]

-ˋˏ The week it all went south ˎˊ-

Part 3

Part 1 here Part 2 here

Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's sister!reader

Azriel has the perfect life. You as his wife. Kaia as his daughter. But him and the boys are stupid enough to challenge you for a week and then his perfect life might simply...disappear

Warning: ANGST, mentions of past lovers, mentions of sex, cursing, kissing, mentions of injured child, drinking, mentions of character death (nobody is dead though they just mention it), throwing up, Az being an ass and MC being a badass mama, kidnapping, mentions of physical force against characters.

Word count: 18.3k

“Uncle Cassy? Rhysie?” she tried again, her voice louder this time but shaky.

A gust of wind rushed past her, and she stumbled, dropping her stuffed toy in the snow. Kaia gasped, quickly bending down to retrieve it. When she straightened, her eyes caught movement—a flicker of brown fur darting between the trees.

“Bun-bun!” she exclaimed, her fear momentarily forgotten. Her small legs carried her forward as fast as they could, her wings flaring with determination.

She followed the bunny deeper into the woods, unaware of the growing distance between herself and safety. The snow was deeper here, and she struggled to push through it, her breaths coming in soft puffs.

Finally, she came to a small clearing. The bunny had stopped in the middle, its nose twitching as it nibbled on something hidden in the snow. Kaia’s face lit up with delight, and she dropped to her knees, crawling closer.

“Hi, bun-bun,” she whispered, her voice soft with awe. “Kaia not scare you.”

The bunny twitched its ears, watching her cautiously but not running this time. Kaia reached out a mittened hand, her tiny fingers trembling with excitement.

But before she could touch it, another strong gust of wind blew through the clearing, sending a flurry of snow into the air. The bunny bolted, disappearing into the trees.

Kaia froze, her outstretched hand hovering in the air. She blinked at the spot where the bunny had been, her heart sinking as she realized it was gone.

“Bun-bun…” she whispered, her voice breaking.

The clearing felt empty now, and the cold pressed in on her small frame. Kaia stood up, hugging her toy close and looking around. Everything looked the same—the same tall trees, the same snow-covered ground. She spun in a slow circle, panic beginning to bubble in her chest.

“Dada?” she called, louder this time. “Rhysie?!”

Her voice echoed through the woods, but no one answered. The realization hit her all at once—she was lost.

Tears welled up in her big hazel eyes, spilling over and freezing on her flushed cheeks. Kaia sniffled, wiping at them with her mittens, but they kept coming.

“Kaia sowwy…” she whimpered to no one in particular, her small frame shaking as she clutched her toy tighter. She took a shaky step forward, then another, unsure of where she was going but desperate to find someone—anyone.

“Kaia cold…” she whispered, her voice breaking as she trudged further into the unknown, the trees swallowing her tiny figure in their shadowy embrace.

-----

Cassian and Rhys sprinted through the snow, their boots crunching harshly against the ground as they called out for Kaia. Their voices echoed off the trees, but all they received in return was the sound of the wind howling through the forest, the world around them unnervingly silent.

"Kaia!" Cassian shouted, his voice hoarse with a mix of fear and desperation. His wings flared behind him, instinctively seeking altitude, trying to get a better view, but the snow and trees blocked his sight.

Rhys was no better. He was using his magic, casting them out like dark tendrils, hoping they would find her scent, hoping they would be able to pinpoint her location. His face was taut, the normally calm and collected High Lord now fraught with panic, his chest tight as he pushed forward.

"Where the hell could she be?!" Rhys snapped, his teeth gritted as he forced himself to stay calm, despite the growing panic clawing at his chest. His magic stretched across the landscape, but they couldn’t seem to find her.

“Kaia!” Cassian yelled again, his voice cracking as he scanned every tree, every path they’d passed. “Baby, where are you?”

His heart pounded painfully in his chest, and it felt like every second that passed only made the distance between them and her grow wider. His mind raced—she’s too small to be out here alone. She’s too young. The snow— His breath hitched, and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Rhys, we’ve searched everywhere. We need to—” Cassian stopped mid-sentence, his gaze frantically darting between the trees. He could hear nothing except his own frantic breathing. No sign of her, not even the faintest trace. His wings rustled anxiously as he moved through the snow, but it was like she’d just vanished into thin air.

“No,” Rhys whispered under his breath, shaking his head as if to push the thought away. “She can’t be gone.”

Rhys's eyes were wild as he searched the surroundings, his gaze sweeping over the trees. His usually calm demeanour was slipping, his worry palpable in the way his posture was stiff and rigid. “Cassian, we need to find her. We—”

Suddenly, Rhys’s hand flew to his chest, his breath catching. A surge of panic surged through him, and he spun, locking eyes with Cassian. “We can’t lose her. We can’t…”

Cassian’s wings twitched as his frustration boiled over. “We won’t. We’ll find her, Rhys,” he barked, his voice louder than before, but even his own words didn’t seem to soothe the storm of worry that was overtaking him. "Kaia! Come on, baby, where are you?"

They both continued to push forward, searching for any sign, but it was like the forest itself had swallowed her whole. The snow crunched beneath their feet, but every direction they turned only seemed to get colder, darker, and more empty.

Rhys was beginning to lose his focus, the lack of any trace of her driving him to the edge of his control. "She has to be here," he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to Cassian. His shadows were no help, his power failing him in the vast expanse of the woods.

Cassian glanced over at Rhys, his face pale with worry. The wind picked up, biting into their skin, making it harder to breathe and focus. The trees seemed to loom taller, closing in on them with every step they took, the very environment mocking their efforts to find her.

"Kaia!" They both shouted again in unison, their voices overlapping, but the silence that followed was deafening.

"I— I can’t—" Cassian’s voice faltered as he stopped abruptly, taking in a shaky breath. The panic was suffocating, his heart hammering in his chest like it would burst. His thoughts raced through his mind in a chaotic mess, and his wings drooped slightly in exhaustion. The cold gnawed at him, but it was nothing compared to the terror swelling in his chest.

Rhys stepped forward, his eyes scanning every direction. He reached out with his shadows again, desperation thick in his voice. “Kaia...”

They both paused, hearts pounding, waiting for some sign of her—anything to guide them. But nothing came.

“Where the hell are you, Kaia?” Cassian’s voice broke through the quiet, his hands clenched into fists.

They were losing time. Each minute that passed felt like an eternity, and with every step, the dread sank deeper into their chests.

The temperature was dropping quickly, and both Cassian and Rhys could feel it—sharp and biting against their skin. The once soft, powdery snow now seemed to cling to them, heavier, as the wind picked up, howling through the trees with an eerie howl. The cold was seeping deeper into their bones, an oppressive chill that made their breaths come out in white puffs, cutting through the silence around them.

Cassian shivered despite the fire in his chest, the cold gnawing at him in a way that he couldn’t ignore. He looked up, squinting against the wind, his heart racing in his chest. "She’s too small for this..." His words were barely audible against the wind, but the deepening cold in the air only made his worry grow worse. She can’t be out here, not in this.

Rhys clenched his jaw, his usual calm demeanour cracking under the weight of fear. "It’s getting worse..." he muttered, his hand instinctively moving to his chest as if to steady the growing panic inside him. He called to his magic once more, desperate for any sign of Kaia. Where are you? His mind screamed, but the answer never came.

Cassian’s wings twitched uncomfortably as the freezing air wrapped around him, pushing against him as if the forest itself were trying to separate them from the rest of the world. The cold was only getting sharper, and it felt like it was closing in on them. The once beautiful landscape, full of snow-capped trees and quiet serenity, now seemed like an endless maze, trapping them in its grasp.

“The wind’s picking up... she’s not prepared for this,” Rhys said, his voice tight with concern. He turned to Cassian, his dark eyes filled with a mixture of dread and frustration. "We have to find her. Now."

Cassian nodded sharply, the cold digging into his bones as if trying to freeze the fear within him. The air felt heavy, pressing in on him, as if the world was holding its breath in anticipation. His wings were flared again, and he was desperately searching for any movement in the trees, any glimpse of Kaia’s small form.

"Kaia!" Rhys shouted once more, his voice cutting through the cold silence. “Where are you?”

The wind howled in response, but there was still no answer. Nothing but the crushing silence and the cold, creeping into their bodies, making each step feel heavier than the last.

Cassian’s breath hitched in his throat as the realization set in. The temperature was dropping, and it was doing so rapidly. If they didn’t find her soon, the cold could be more than she could handle. Her wings weren’t built for this—too young, too small, and unprepared for the harsh winds that swept through the mountainside.

Rhys’s expression hardened, his power flaring around him, but even his shadows couldn’t find her. "We need to move faster, Cassian," he urged, his voice tight with urgency. “If she’s out here in this, she won’t last much longer.”

Cassian didn’t need to hear any more. His wings beat hard against the icy air, carrying him deeper into the forest, his eyes scanning every corner, every shadow, but the cold kept pushing back against them. The chill pressed into his skin like a vice, and his heart pounded in his chest, matching the fear that rose within him.

The two of them continued to search, but the weight of the freezing air, the deafening silence that surrounded them, and the growing panic made it harder to focus. She has to be out there. They both thought. But each second felt like an eternity, and with every passing minute, the temperature dropped further.

"Kaia!" Rhys called once more, his voice almost a growl, but still no response came. The wind cut through him, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of dread that churned in his stomach.

The cold wasn’t just a physical threat—it was a symbol of the fear that had lodged deep inside them both.

-----

Kaia crouched under the large tree, hugging her toy tightly to her chest, her small wings wrapped around her body for warmth. Her toddler instincts had led her deeper into the forest, further away from the safety of the cabin and the sounds of her uncles’ calls. The cold had numbed her little hands and made her cheeks flush a bright pink, but she was determined to stay where she was, feeling safer in the shadows beneath the thick branches.

The wind howled above her, the snow swirling like a blizzard as the forest seemed to close in on her. The trees creaked, their branches swaying violently in the wind, but Kaia barely noticed the icy cold seeping deeper into her bones. Her wide, innocent eyes were focused on the soft movement around her—just a small speck of motion that caught her attention. Her instincts tingled, a small sense of curiosity overriding any lingering fear.

From the corner of her eye, a figure emerged from the shadows—tall, cloaked in dark, tattered fabric that fluttered eerily in the wind. Kaia’s eyes narrowed as the figure came closer, her small body still trembling from the cold. The figure’s face was hidden beneath a heavy hood, but Kaia could see the sharp outline of its face—a hollow, ghostly shape that sent a brief pang of unease through her chest.

But then the voice came—low, croaky, as if it had been unused for far too long. It rasped through the air like dry leaves.

"Come here, little one..." The figure’s voice was unnaturally soft, almost coaxing, as it reached down towards Kaia. "Come with me... I’ll keep you safe."

Kaia blinked, her confusion clear on her face as she looked up at the figure. She didn’t recognize the voice, but the words... they were so familiar. Safe. It sounded so comforting in her small, innocent mind, a reassurance she hadn’t realized she needed until now.

Her little hands grasped her toy tighter, but the figure’s voice soothed her, and the warmth in its tone seemed to push away the lingering fear from the cold and the isolation.

“Come... you’ll be warm with me. I’ll take you somewhere safe, where no one can hurt you...” The figure’s hand extended further, reaching for Kaia with long, skeletal fingers, the tips twitching like a spider’s legs. It was as if it knew the deep vulnerability of a child alone in the snow and how easily it could be manipulated.

Kaia’s eyes flickered from the figure’s hand to its face, but she didn’t see the danger, her dada always protected her from it. All she saw was something that promised warmth, protection—things that she needed in the moment. Her tiny mind, too young and trusting to see the threat, reached out and took a hesitant step toward the cloaked figure.

“Safe...” Kaia muttered, her toddler speech slurring as she spoke the word with complete faith. She moved forward a few steps, the wind biting at her cheeks, but still, the figure seemed to offer something she couldn’t resist.

The figure’s hand hovered just out of reach, beckoning her closer, and Kaia took another step, her wings twitching with uncertainty but not enough to stop her from moving forward.

"Yes, that’s it. Come with me, and you’ll be safe," the voice croaked again, and it felt like the only thing Kaia needed to hear in that moment.

She took another step, the promise of safety outweighing the concerns in her tiny heart. The figure’s cold presence was nothing more than a shadow against the warmth of the words it spoke.

And for the first time since running away from the cabin, Kaia felt a flicker of something warm inside her—something that made her trust this cloaked stranger without hesitation.

-----

The snow was heavier now, falling in thick, relentless sheets. The once-silent woods had transformed into a labyrinth of white, where each tree and path seemed indistinguishable from the next. The wind whipped through the branches, howling like a creature in pain, and the temperature had dropped further. Every minute they spent out here was a risk they couldn't afford.

Rhys and Cassian had been searching for over an hour, their hearts pounding in their chests as they called Kaia’s name again and again, but the only answer was the howling wind and the creaking of trees. The world had become a blur of white, the snow underfoot crunching with every step they took, but it was as if Kaia had vanished into thin air.

Rhys wiped the snow from his face, his violet eyes darting over the trees, his senses straining to catch any trace of her. He could feel the overwhelming panic creeping into his chest, a tightness that refused to loosen. Kaia’s small, fragile form—so vulnerable in this brutal environment—was all he could think about. The thought of her out here alone, with the temperature continuing to plummet, made every inch of his body ache with worry.

“Where is she, Cass?” Rhys snapped, his voice tight with barely contained frustration. He knew they’d searched every inch of this area, and yet there was nothing. No sign of her footprints, no faint trace of her presence, no little voice calling out to them.

Cassian was no better off. His wings were heavy with snow, his breath coming in sharp gasps as he scanned the woods. His heart had started to race long ago, the cold starting to settle deep in his bones. "We can’t keep doing this, Rhys," Cassian said, his voice strained, “We’ve covered every inch of this damn forest. We’re not going to find her out here like this.”

Rhys' face twisted in frustration, his mind whirling with guilt. “We can’t stop searching! She’s out there somewhere, Cass. We can’t—”

Cassian cut him off with a sharp shake of his head, his voice low and pained. “If we stay out here any longer, we’re going to freeze. The temperature’s dropping fast, and we’re losing our daylight. We can’t keep going like this, not without risking more lives.”

Rhys clenched his jaw, his hands balled into fists as the realization sank in. He knew Cassian was right. Their wings were covered in snow, their bodies cold and numb from the exposure. And worst of all, their search wasn’t yielding any results. They were only growing weaker and more disoriented by the second.

The harsh reality struck him—Kaia couldn’t survive out here for much longer. The cold, her wings still so new and fragile, and the isolation. She wouldn’t have the strength to make it on her own for long. Rhys’ heart dropped like a stone in his chest.

“We need to go back to the cabin and get help,” Rhys said, his voice low, filled with the weight of dread. “We can’t risk any more time out here.”

Cassian nodded grimly, and they both turned, reluctantly heading back in the direction they had come from. The snow had begun to swirl around them more violently now, their path obscured with each passing second.

It felt like the entire forest was conspiring against them.

They moved with urgency, but there was no escaping the sinking feeling in their stomachs. With every step, their hopes seemed to slip further away, the cold gnawing at their very souls. Cassian’s thoughts were consumed with guilt—how could he have let this happen? How had he failed to keep an eye on her? Kaia was just a baby, so small and so trusting.

“How long until she can’t survive out here?” Cassian muttered, his voice tight with emotion. Rhys didn’t answer, because they both knew the answer. The temperature was dropping so rapidly, and Kaia was just a little girl with tiny wings—she could be so easily lost to the cold. And truly Rhysand knows she'd be dead by now.

“Don’t talk like that, Cass,” Rhys snapped, his voice strained, his fists clenched tightly as they pushed forward.

“Just saying it like it is,” Cassian muttered back, his voice rough.

The moment Rhysand and Cassian reached the cabin, exhaustion hanging heavy in their bones, Rhys wasted no time. His heart pounded in his chest, the weight of their failure in not finding Kaia pressing down on him like an iron vice. His wings were stiff with the cold, and his breath came in ragged gasps as he staggered into the warmth of the cabin.

He didn’t even take a moment to pause. His mind was already reaching out to Morrigan, his thoughts sharp and urgent.

Mor, he projected mentally, his voice laced with panic, get over here, now. Bring Emerie with you.

He felt a brief, sharp moment of silence, then the flicker of Morrigan’s presence, her steady, confident tone coming through in response.

On our way, Rhys, Morrigan’s voice came through, smooth as silk but filled with a clear sense of urgency. What’s happening?

Rhys didn’t have time for pleasantries. He inhaled sharply, his eyes narrowing with barely controlled panic.

Kaia’s gone, he said, his voice heavy with the weight of his words. She’s somewhere out there, and we’ve lost her. We need help now—Emerie’s skills will be vital.

There was a pause. He could sense the shift in Morrigan’s thoughts, her usual unshakable calm now touched with concern.

We’re winnowing now, she replied quickly. Hold on, Rhys.

And just like that, the presence of Morrigan and Emerie vanished from his mind. He reached for Cassian, who was pacing by the door, his face pinched with guilt and frustration.

“They’ll be here,” Rhys said firmly, trying to give his friend something to hold onto in the face of the uncertainty. “Mor and Emerie are on their way.”

Cassian didn’t look reassured. His eyes were still filled with the same terror Rhys had been carrying since they first realized Kaia was missing. But at least they had done something. At least they had people on their side who could help.

The air in the cabin felt suffocating as they waited, every second dragging by in painful silence.

Rhys glanced back toward the door, the tension hanging thick in the air. Every time the wind howled outside, it felt like a reminder of how much time they were losing. How much they couldn’t afford to waste.

Then, with a crackle of energy, the faint sound of the winnow shimmered in the air, and the door slammed open. Morrigan and Emerie appeared in an instant, stepping into the cabin with force and purpose.

“Where is she?” Morrigan asked, her voice firm yet laced with concern as she took in the sight of both males standing there, clearly drained.

Rhys exhaled sharply, his voice tight. “She ran off into the woods. We’ve been searching, but we’ve hit a wall. The cold’s gotten worse, and we can’t afford to waste any more time.”

Emerie was already moving, her dark eyes scanning the room. “I’ll go with Mor,” she said quietly, her voice unwavering. “We’ll track her together.”

Morrigan nodded and winnowed again, Emerie following right behind her. Rhys and Cassian shared one last look before Rhys reached for his brother's arm.

“We’ll be here,” Cassian said quietly, his voice strained. He swallowed hard, doing everything in his power not to show the fear gnawing at him.

“Do what you have to,” Rhys replied, clapping Cassian’s shoulder briefly before turning back, where they would wait. It was all they could do. All they couldn’t do, it felt like.

Rhys stood in the center of the cabin, the silence suffocating around him. His heart pounded against his ribcage as he stared at the door through which Morrigan and Emerie had just left, their forms already vanished in the winnow. His body was still tense, but in his mind, the only thought running over and over was how he had failed.

He had failed you.

He had failed Azriel.

And worse of all, he had failed Kaia.

The knot in his chest grew tighter as his hands clenched at his sides, the cold bite of his fingers doing little to ground him. Kaia, his niece—the child he had vowed to protect—was out there in the forest, alone, in the freezing cold. The thought of her vulnerable, small wings not ready for the chill that was settling over the land, it felt like a blade twisting inside his gut.

He couldn’t—no, wouldn’t—let that happen.

His thoughts turned to you. He couldn’t even imagine the fear you would feel when you woke up and found that your daughter was gone. You had enough to deal with, with Kaia’s early birth, the struggle it took to get her healthy and safe. Rhys had promised himself that he would always be there for you, that no matter what happened, you and your family would never suffer in silence.

And now, he’d failed.

The weight of the responsibility, the lives of everyone he cared about—Azriel, his brother who had already been through so much, had been through hell just to get to where they were—pressed on Rhys’s chest like an anchor. How could he have let this happen? How had he not seen the signs earlier, that Kaia might slip away, that she might wander off like this? He had taken his eyes off her for seconds.

Seconds.

It was those seconds that had been enough for her to slip away, enough for the cold to set in, enough for everything to go wrong.

Rhys stepped toward the window, the weight of his own failure nearly crippling him. His wings hung heavily behind him, almost dragging the ground as he stood there. The wind outside howled with fury, the snow piling in thick layers. It was as if nature itself was mocking him for not being able to protect his family.

His mind flashed to Azriel—the look in his eyes when he realized Kaia was missing, the way Azriel had begged him to find her, his quiet desperation filling every word. How could he explain to Azriel, to you, how he had failed them both?

“You promised you’d keep her safe, Rhys,” he whispered to himself, his voice barely audible over the howl of the wind. “You promised.”

It was an empty promise now, hanging in the air like a ghost. The weight of the world, the weight of his promises, felt like it was about to crush him.

But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t break down completely, not now. Not when Kaia was still out there, not when there was still a chance to bring her back.

He pressed his hands to his face, taking a deep, shaky breath. His mind began to race again, to push through the overwhelming grief and guilt, forcing himself to think. They would find her. He wouldn’t give up.

But the guilt of failing—of letting you down, of letting Azriel down, of letting Kaia down—was going to follow him for a long time.

Cassian sank down onto the couch, his body heavy with exhaustion and dread. His legs felt like they might give out beneath him, the weight of the search, the worry, and the guilt pressing down on him in waves. His hand ran through his hair, gripping it as though he could pull out the frustration, the fear, and the helplessness that had settled deep inside him.

His breath was ragged, his chest tight with the panic of what had just happened. He could still feel the cold of the forest, the snow biting at his skin, the echo of Kaia’s laughter ringing in his ears, the way she had run off so carelessly. He had let his guard down, he never does that. He had promised to keep an eye on her, to make sure she was safe—and he had failed.

He looked over at Rhys, who was standing near the window, his posture rigid, his face drawn with the same pain that was gnawing at Cassian. They both knew what this felt like—what it meant. It wasn’t just about Kaia being out there in the cold. It wasn’t just about the dangers she might be facing. It was the weight of responsibility, the crushing sense of failure that came with not being able to protect the ones you loved.

Cassian’s heart clenched at the thought of you, of how you’d feel when you woke up and realized Kaia was missing. He couldn’t bear to imagine the horror in your eyes, the panic, the worry that would consume you. And Azriel… Azriel, who had already been through so much. He would be devastated. How could he look him in the eye knowing that Kaia, his little girl, was lost?

Cassian’s hands balled into fists, but he didn’t have the energy to release the tension in his body. His eyes flickered to the door, his mind racing, trying to come up with a plan. They couldn’t give up. Not now. They couldn’t let the cold or the darkness defeat them.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, the nagging doubt crept in. What if it was too late? What if the cold had already taken Kaia, already—

“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, his voice tight with emotion. He slammed his fist into the cushion, trying to release some of the frustration, the helplessness, the overwhelming guilt.

He had failed. He had promised he would protect her, and now…

Cassian clenched his jaw, trying to hold it together. But the weight of the failure, the guilt of what had happened, settled deeper into his bones.

“We’ll find her, Cass,” Rhys’s voice broke through his thoughts, a quiet but steady reassurance. But even Rhys’s calm tone couldn’t fully mask the fear and guilt they both shared.

Cassian nodded, though he didn’t believe the words as much as he wanted to. The thought of Kaia out there alone, vulnerable… it was too much.

He had to hold onto the hope, but in that moment, it felt like the darkness would swallow them all.

Nearly three hours had passed, and every minute felt like a lifetime. The cabin was heavy with the silence of defeat as Rhysand and Cassian anxiously paced back and forth, each man lost in his own tortured thoughts. The cold outside had only grown more intense, and the weight of the search hung over them like an unbearable cloud.

Finally, they heard the unmistakable sound of the winnow, the sudden rush of air that signalled the arrival of Morrigan and Emerie. But as the door opened and the two women stepped inside, there was no joy in their faces, no relief in their posture. The hope they had arrived with seemed to have dissipated, replaced by something heavier—something darker.

Morrigan’s jaw was set tight, her eyes dark with the same frustration and helplessness that had taken root in both Rhys and Cassian. Emerie’s face was even grimmer, her usually sharp, determined gaze clouded with the weight of failure.

“We’ve searched every inch of the area we could,” Morrigan said quietly, her voice tight, as though even speaking the words was too much. She let out a slow breath, trying to steady herself, but the sorrow was clear in her expression. “The wind and the snow have wiped away any tracks. We couldn’t find anything, Rhys. Nothing.”

Rhys and Cassian both stood frozen, the reality of her words sinking into them like a cold, hard stone.

Cassian’s heart twisted painfully in his chest, and for a brief moment, the room seemed to spin. He wanted to argue, to fight, to demand that they keep searching, but he knew deep down that Morrigan was right. If she couldn’t find her, no one could.

“What do you mean nothing?” Cassian asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but the desperation was clear. He wasn’t ready to give up, not yet. “You’re telling me she’s… gone?”

Emerie, who had been silently observing, finally spoke, her voice quiet but heavy with the weight of the truth. “The snowstorm is getting worse, and we’ve done everything we can. I’ve searched the forest using my power, but there’s no trace of her. No scent, no sign. It’s like she vanished.”

“Damn it…” Cassian’s voice cracked as he tried to control the rising panic in his chest. His fists clenched at his sides, and his eyes blurred with unshed tears. He couldn’t process what he was hearing. His little niece, the one he had promised to protect, was… gone.

Rhys looked over at him, his eyes filled with a kind of understanding, but it didn’t help. Cassian didn’t need understanding. He needed Kaia.

“I don’t…” Rhys started, his voice faltering for the first time since they’d arrived. “I don’t understand. How can she just vanish? Where the hell is she?”

“She’s lost in the woods,” Morrigan said softly, shaking her head as though she too couldn’t believe it. “But it’s not just the woods. The weather’s too much, and her wings… they aren’t fully developed. It’s too cold for her out there. We all know that.”

Cassian couldn’t breathe. Every word felt like a punch to the gut, and yet there was no escape from the weight of them. He had failed her. He had promised to protect her, and now he had no way to make it right. He didn’t know how to even begin to fix this.

“Are we… are we just giving up?” Cassian asked, his voice hoarse, raw with emotion. His mind was a whirl of thoughts, but they all came back to the same horrifying conclusion. They had lost her.

Morrigan and Emerie exchanged a glance, and the silence between them was deafening. They knew what he was asking. They had searched. They had exhausted every option they had. But even they couldn’t bring themselves to say the words that hovered on the edge of their lips: they couldn’t find her.

“I wish I could say something different,” Morrigan said finally, her voice strained. “But we have to face the truth. The longer we wait, the colder it gets out there. And Kaia… she’s so small, so vulnerable. If we don’t find her soon, we might not be able to.”

The words hung in the air like a death sentence. There was no denying the harsh reality.

Rhys turned away, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to hold himself together. His mind was reeling, his thoughts racing, but they were all rooted in one thing: Kaia was missing. And no matter how much he wished, hoped, or prayed, he couldn’t change it.

Cassian let out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging as he finally allowed himself to sink into the couch. His body was rigid with tension, but the weight of the situation, the overwhelming guilt and fear, left him too exhausted to even speak.

Kaia was out there in the freezing cold, alone. And no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t bring her back.

The snow outside the window had only grown more violent as the minutes passed. The winds howled like a wild animal, clawing at the cabin, sending gusts of snow swirling in every direction. It battered against the glass, a constant reminder of the storm raging outside. The once soft flakes had turned into sharp, biting gusts that seemed to cut through the air, obscuring any semblance of visibility. The wind's shrill scream echoed through the cabin walls, only adding to the tension that hung heavily in the room.

Inside, the four of them sat in grim silence, the warmth of the fire doing little to ease the chill that had settled in their bones. The storm outside was relentless, and yet, in that moment, it felt like the world was closing in around them.

Cassian rubbed his face, his hand rough against his stubble as he gazed out the window, his eyes dark with worry and frustration. The wind outside howled, a reminder of how helpless they were against the elements. He could hear it tearing through the trees, shaking the branches violently as if it was reaching out to take what they had lost. His heart pounded in his chest, his thoughts racing as the guilt continued to eat away at him.

"This storm isn't letting up," Rhysand muttered, his voice low and thick with a mix of frustration and helplessness. He stood at the window, his eyes scanning the dense snowfall, but there was nothing but a wall of white. "If the snow continues like this, we won't be able to see anything in that forest, and Kaia... she's out there somewhere."

Morrigan, standing beside him, clenched her jaw as she too watched the storm with concern. "We can't wait much longer. We need to get back out there, but the weather's getting worse by the minute. It’s dangerous."

Cassian shot a glance at her, the strain of his emotions written all over his face. "We already know that. But what choice do we have? We can’t just sit here and do nothing." His voice cracked with the weight of it. "She's out there in this hell."

The wind picked up again, howling louder than before, and the snow outside seemed to blur the world beyond. Each gust of wind felt like an attack, stripping away any remaining hope. The trees outside creaked and groaned under the pressure, bending at impossible angles as the storm raged on.

"We need to move now," Rhysand said, his voice resolute despite the growing storm. "We don’t have the luxury of waiting for it to pass. We’re already losing time." He turned to the others, his face hard with determination, even as the worry in his eyes betrayed him. "If we’re going to find her, we need to do it now. The longer we stay here, the less likely we are to make it through this."

The wind howled again, shaking the walls of the cabin, and the sound was almost deafening. The fire crackled in the hearth, but it seemed so small, so insignificant against the fury of the storm outside. The tension in the room was palpable, and the cold from the wind seeped deeper into their bones, no longer just a physical chill, but an emotional one.

Rhys turned to Cassian, his face tight with the weight of the decision. "We’ll need to go out together. We can’t afford to split up. If we’re going to have any chance of finding her, we need to move fast."

Cassian nodded grimly, though his gaze remained locked on the window. "If we don’t find her soon, the snow will cover her tracks. We’ll lose her completely."

Morrigan sighed, her voice barely above a whisper. "And if we can’t find her in this storm, we may never find her again."

As the storm outside continued to howl and rage, the cold was no longer just outside their cabin walls—it was within them too, gnawing at their hearts as they prepared to venture back into the storm.

-----

Azriel sat at the far end of a long, oak table in the camp lord’s private quarters, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim of the glass in front of him. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, the flickering light casting shadows that danced across the walls, creating an oddly calming atmosphere for the tense conversation. His sharp eyes, however, never stopped scanning the room, watching for any subtle movements or changes in posture from the camp lord sitting across from him.

The camp lord—a tall, broad-shouldered fae with a reputation for his cunning in negotiations—was leaning back in his chair, a glass of wine in his hand, his expression one of practiced indifference. The man’s dark, storm-grey eyes bore into Azriel as he spoke, though Azriel’s own gaze never wavered, his usual calm demeanour unbroken.

“I trust you understand the importance of this deal, Shadowsinger,” the camp lord said, his voice low but firm. “The terms are clear. We provide the resources, you offer us the protection we need for our interests. You’ll get what you want in return for ensuring my people are safe from those who might disrupt our trade routes.”

Azriel nodded, his expression impassive. “I’m aware of the stakes. But don’t mistake our cooperation for a favor. We expect you to hold up your end of the bargain.” His voice was as steady as ever, yet there was an edge to it—a subtle warning, unspoken but understood.

The camp lord smiled, a sharp, calculating grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course. You’ll find that I honour my word. After all, it is my reputation on the line.”

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their respective roles hanging between them. Azriel's shadows flitted restlessly around the room, a reflection of his own unease. He had been sent here to ensure the safety of the agreement, to verify that the camp lord’s offer was genuine, and to keep watch over any potential threats. Yet in this moment, with the fire crackling and the wine dulling his senses, his thoughts kept wandering back to the cabin, to Kaia’s absence, to the tension he had felt when he left.

"I trust you’ve taken care of the logistical matters as we discussed?" Azriel asked, his tone almost casual, though his mind was far from relaxed.

The camp lord set his glass down, eyes narrowing as he folded his arms across his chest. “Everything is in motion. We’ve reinforced the defences around the perimeter and are increasing patrols. You can tell your people that the camp will be secure. My people are loyal.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow, sceptical. “Loyalty can be bought. It’s trust that I need.”

The camp lord smirked, clearly enjoying the conversation. “Trust is earned, Shadowsinger. But you should know, my loyalty is not so easily swayed. We’ve been through worse. This is just another battle.”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately. His fingers brushed the edge of his glass again, the coolness of the crystal a stark contrast to the heat in his chest. He was getting impatient.

“Do you think I care about your battles?” Azriel’s voice dropped, the shadows around him flickering slightly in response to his growing frustration. “I came here to see if your promises are worth anything. Don’t waste my time.”

The camp lord straightened, his smile slipping for just a moment before he regained his composure. “I assure you, the resources we discussed are already being prepared. In exchange, we expect protection, as agreed.”

Azriel’s gaze hardened as he leaned forward slightly, fixing the camp lord with a piercing stare. “Then I’ll expect you to be here when the time comes. If not, I’ll deal with it.”

The camp lord didn’t flinch, maintaining his calm exterior, but Azriel knew the threat had been heard. He wasn’t here for idle talk, and he certainly wasn’t here for more empty promises. He needed results, and he needed them now.

There was a brief silence as the two of them sat in the stillness of the room, the tension thick in the air. Azriel’s thoughts wandered once more to the cabin, to Kaia, to the storm brewing outside. He felt the weight of responsibility pressing down on him, the gnawing worry creeping in.

But he wasn’t going to show it.

Instead, he stood up slowly, his movements deliberate and controlled. “I’ll check in again before I leave. Make sure everything is in order.”

The camp lord nodded, sensing that the conversation was winding down. “Of course. And I trust you’ll take care of any... potential threats while you’re here?”

Azriel’s lips curled into a thin, dangerous smile as his shadows swirled in the corner of the room. “That’s what I’m paid for.”

With one last glance at the camp lord, Azriel turned and walked toward the door, the weight of his responsibilities pulling him back to the cabin. There was no time to waste. His family was waiting.

-----

Kaia was sitting in the corner of a small, dimly lit house wagon, her tiny hands bound tightly to the wooden post. The cold, damp air pressed in through the cracks in the walls, and the musty smell of the wagon’s interior made her wrinkly nose twitch. Her little chest heaved with sobs as tears streaked down her pale cheeks, her little body trembling from the fear of her unknown surroundings.

The cloaked figure was standing near the doorway, their back turned to her as they muttered something under their breath. The harsh, scratchy fabric of the cloak swished as they moved, but Kaia wasn’t paying attention to that. Her small, frantic breaths were all she could focus on, each sob wracking her fragile frame as she strained against the ropes that bound her.

"Shut up!" the cloaked figure suddenly screamed, turning toward her with eyes that burned with anger, their voice hoarse and threatening. Kaia flinched at the sharp tone, and her body instinctively shrank back, her little hands pulling uselessly at the ropes. Her sobs grew louder, her small voice rising in desperation.

"Pwease..." she whimpered in her baby speech, her voice thin and full of fear. "Want Mama... want Dada..."

The figure took a step toward her, their presence looming over her small, curled form, but Kaia barely registered it. All she could think about was her mama and dada. The faces she missed so much, the warmth of their love and safety. She wanted nothing more than to be held by them again.

"Shh," the figure hissed, reaching out and grabbing her chin roughly, forcing her to meet their cold, impassive gaze. "You’ll be quiet, or else."

Kaia recoiled, tears filling her big, frightened eyes, and she began to cry harder, her wails echoing in the small wagon as she called out for the only two people she knew could make everything better.

"Dada!" she cried, her voice breaking. "Mama, pwease... Dada!"

She squirmed against the ropes, trying to pull herself free, but they held her too tightly. The world seemed to close in on her as the sound of her own voice echoed through the small wagon, a cacophony of fear and confusion.

Her cries filled the air, the desperation in her tone clear as day, but the cloaked figure just stood there, their face impassive, their expression unreadable. Kaia didn’t understand what was happening—didn’t understand why she was tied up, why she couldn’t feel the warmth of her mama’s arms or the comforting presence of her dada.

“Shut up,” the figure muttered again, their voice a low growl as they stepped back.

But Kaia couldn't stop. She couldn’t stop wanting to be with the people who loved her, the ones who made everything better. She cried louder, her sobs wracking her small body, her heart aching in her chest.

"Dada! Mama!" She said through hiccupped sobs, barely able to form the words as they slipped from her lips in her frantic baby speech.

All she wanted was her parents to come and take her away from this horrible place, away from this cold, unkind person who was hurting her. But there was nothing she could do. All she could do was cry, her tiny voice breaking with each word as she called for her mama and dada over and over again.

The cloaked figure moved toward Kaia with an unsettling quietness, the air around her growing colder as they approached. She instinctively recoiled, her small wings fluttering desperately in an attempt to escape their grasp. But the figure was too quick. They reached down, their hands cold and unyielding as they grabbed a firm hold of her wings—those precious, delicate appendages that had caused her so much pain already.

Kaia’s breath hitched, a sharp, painful cry escaping her lips as the figure yanked her upward, the sharp tug pulling at the sensitive skin of her wings. Tears immediately filled her wide eyes as she whimpered in pain, her wings folding tightly against her small body in a desperate attempt to protect herself.

“Shh, quiet now,” the cloaked figure murmured, but their voice had no kindness, no comfort. It only made Kaia’s heart race harder, her tiny body trembling in fear. She wanted to cry out, but the pain in her wings made it hard to form the words, and all she could do was whimper.

“Pwease, pwease,” she begged in her baby speech, her voice breaking with each word. “W-wings hurt... mama... dada... pwease!” Her hands balled into tiny fists, but they were too small to fight back. She was too small, too fragile.

But the figure wasn’t listening. They only dragged her through the cramped space, a cruel determination in their movements. With a swift motion, they shoved Kaia into a small, tight cage tucked beneath a desk—a cage so small that Kaia had to curl up tightly just to fit inside. The metal bars pressed against her tiny body, cold and unwelcoming, and the darkness of the cage enveloped her like a heavy blanket. She whimpered as she squirmed, trying to find comfort, but the tight space only made her feel more trapped.

Her breath quickened as she pressed her face against the cold bars, her little wings fluttering helplessly behind her. She wanted to get out, wanted to run to her mama, her dada—but the bars held her prisoner.

“Wanna go home…” she whimpered, her voice small and shaky, the toddler speech slipping from her lips as she curled up in the cramped cage. “Mama… Dada… pwease, pwease come… find me…” Her voice cracked with each sob, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

Kaia’s tiny hands reached through the bars, but there was nothing to hold onto. There was no comfort, no safety. The cold of the cage seeped into her bones, making her feel even smaller, even more alone. She tugged at the bars, her little body growing more frantic, but there was nothing she could do. The figure stood over her, watching as she cried, and Kaia’s heart broke with each tear that fell from her eyes.

“Dada, pwease…” she whispered, the words so quiet they barely left her lips. “Pwease…” She wanted nothing more than to be back in her mama's arms, to feel the warmth of her father's presence again. But all she could do was cry and hope, hope that somehow, someone would come and take her away from this horrible place.

-----

The wind howled through the trees as Rhys, Cassian, Morrigan, and Emery trudged back into the cabin, their faces pale with exhaustion and worry. Their clothes were soaked from the snow, their boots heavy with layers of ice, but it was the sinking feeling in their hearts that weighed them down the most.

They had spent the past five hours scouring the woods, calling Kaia’s name, listening to the howling wind for any sign of her, but it was as if she had vanished into thin air. Despite their best efforts, they had found nothing—no trace, no footprints, nothing. The hours had slipped by unnoticed as the blizzard intensified, the temperature plummeting further with each passing minute.

Rhys, his jaw clenched tight, had been the first to speak when they had been forced to call off the search, his voice hoarse from the cold. "We can’t keep going. The temperatures are dropping too fast, and the snow’s only getting worse. Kaia’s small… She wouldn’t survive out there in this storm."

Cassian had been the one to argue first, his eyes wild with panic. “We can’t just stop looking! She’s out there—she has to be! She can’t be gone, Rhys!”

Morrigan had put a hand on Cassian’s shoulder, her usual strength faltering. “We know, Cass. But it’s not safe out there. The snow’s too thick, and the wind’s turning into a full blizzard. We need to get back inside, or we’ll all be caught in it.”

Emery, normally calm and collected, had remained silent, her face hard as stone, the worry in her eyes betraying her outward composure. She had done everything she could, but even she had been forced to admit defeat when the weather had become too violent.

“Let's go back,” Morrigan had finally said, her voice soft, but firm. “We’ll regroup, and maybe we’ll have better luck when the weather clears.”

Now, back in the cabin, their clothes dripping with snowmelt, the weight of their failure hung heavy in the air. The fire was burning low in the hearth, its warm glow offering only a faint comfort against the cold that had crept into their bones.

Rhys walked over to the window, staring out at the swirling white chaos outside. The storm was relentless, the blizzard more violent now than it had been when they first set out. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking of Kaia, so small and vulnerable out there, and the guilt that gnawed at his insides threatened to tear him apart.

“They’re staying at the camp overnight,” Morrigan said quietly, as if reading his thoughts. “The boys. We couldn’t risk bringing them back in these conditions.”

Cassian, who had been pacing restlessly in the centre of the room, paused at her words. “I hate this. I hate not being able to protect them. All of them.”

“None of us could have predicted this,” Emery said softly, her tone gentle as she put a hand on his arm. “You did everything you could.”

But Cassian just shook his head, his eyes distant. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

The cabin felt colder somehow, the weight of their silence filling the room as they all struggled with the same harsh truth—they hadn’t found Kaia. And with the storm raging outside, the odds of finding her now were slim to none.

As Rhys continued to stare out at the snow, his thoughts turned to you. He knew how much you had trusted him with Kaia’s safety, and now, in this moment, he felt like he had failed you too. The thought of returning to you empty-handed, with nothing but bad news, weighed heavily on his heart.

Morrigan, noticing the shift in the atmosphere, spoke up again. “We’ll go out again once the storm passes. We won’t stop looking until we bring her back.”

Rhys nodded, though the hopelessness in his eyes was hard to hide. “We better.”

Rhys stood at the window, his back turned to the others as he watched the snow and wind whip violently outside, the blizzard’s fury matching the storm raging inside him. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from retreating to the window, away from the others, the weight of the moment bearing down on him with unbearable force. The silence of the room was deafening as the fire crackled softly in the corner, but all he could hear was the thudding of his own heart in his ears.

He had failed.

Kaia was out there, alone and scared, and he couldn’t protect her. His own flesh and blood, his niece, and he hadn’t been able to keep her safe. The guilt clawed at him, like an animal tearing at his insides, eating him alive from the inside out. His hand gripped the edge of the window frame so tightly that his knuckles turned white, but it didn’t stop the shaking.

A choked breath escaped him before he could stop it.

He failed Azriel, failed you. He had sworn to protect you both, to keep you and your family safe, and now his niece was out there in the blizzard, helpless. He had failed her too. He promised your dad he'd keep you safe and he promised his mom he'd take care of everything you cherish.

And then the dam inside him broke.

“Damn it,” Rhys muttered under his breath, his voice shaking with emotion. He turned away from the window, his expression raw, vulnerable in a way it hadn’t been in years. His shoulders were slumped, as if the weight of his failure was too much for him to carry. He dragged a hand over his face, his fingers trembling, trying to push down the overwhelming guilt.

“Rhys…” Cassian’s voice was cautious, but Rhys was too far gone now. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. His walls—his usual strength—had cracked, and the torrent of emotion came rushing out all at once.

“I’ve failed,” he whispered harshly, almost to himself, as his voice broke. He could feel the sting of tears threatening, but he refused to let them fall. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one who held everything together, but it felt like the very foundation of his soul was crumbling.

Cassian stepped forward, his hand reaching out, but Rhys pulled away before he could touch him. “I’m supposed to protect them,” Rhys continued, his voice thick with emotion. “Kaia, Azriel, you, Feyre... all of you. And now... now I’ve failed. I couldn’t keep her safe, Cassian. I couldn’t keep her out of danger. I promised Azriel I’d look after her and... and now...”

His voice faltered as he trailed off, swallowing hard, as if trying to hold back the full weight of the realization. The guilt gnawed at him, a gnawing, relentless force that wouldn’t let go. He felt as if his entire world was falling apart, and the pieces were slipping through his fingers no matter how tightly he tried to hold on.

“I promised Azriel... I promised YN I’d protect them. And now, what? She’s out there in the cold... alone. I can’t... I can’t be the one who failed her.” Rhys’ chest hitched with emotion as the words spilled out, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t try to keep it together. He didn’t care about being the High Lord in that moment. He was just a broken man who couldn’t save the ones he loved.

Cassian stood there, unsure of what to say, his heart aching for his brother. Morrigan and Emery both watched, their expressions filled with sympathy, but they knew better than to say anything. Sometimes, there were no words. Sometimes, a person just needed to break.

Rhys shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “How can I face YN? How can I tell her I failed her daughter... that I couldn’t protect her? YN named her after our sister and I've already lost her, I can't lose another.”

There was a pause. Then Cassian, with a quiet understanding, stepped forward, his hand landing on Rhys’ shoulder, a silent show of support. "You haven’t failed her yet. We’re still looking, Rhys. We won’t stop until she’s back in your arms."

But Rhys could only shake his head, his eyes hollow. “It’s not enough, Cassian. It’ll never be enough. I let this happen.”

The guilt suffocated him, the cold weight of it pressing on his chest until it became almost too much to bear. For once, Rhys didn’t know what to do. He had always been the one with the answers, the one who could pull everyone together in times of crisis. But now, there was nothing left inside him but the crushing realization that the one thing he had been so sure of—his ability to protect the ones he loved—had failed.

“I failed them,” Rhys whispered again, his voice barely audible. And for the first time in a long time, Rhys felt utterly, completely lost.

The sound of Azriel's wings echoed through the cabin as he entered, brushing snow off his shoulders and shaking out the cold. His hair was damp, his face red from the icy wind that had been biting at him during the flight. He stomped his boots on the mat near the door, grumbling.

“I couldn’t even fly properly in that weather,” he muttered, his voice tinged with irritation. “I nearly froze my damn ass off trying to get back here. Who in their right mind would want to live in a place like that—”

Azriel trailed off mid-sentence, his sharp eyes immediately picking up on the unusual tension in the room. Morrigan and Emerie were there, sitting stiffly on the couch, their faces solemn. Cassian was slumped in a chair, his elbows on his knees, looking wrecked in a way Azriel hadn’t seen in decades. Rhysand leaned against the wall, his arms crossed tightly, his face pale and drawn as though he’d aged years in the span of a single day.

Azriel frowned, his hazel eyes darting between them all. “What’s going on? Why are Morrigan and Emerie here?”

No one answered right away. Morrigan glanced at Rhysand, who didn’t lift his head, and then at Cassian, whose jaw tightened as he avoided Azriel’s gaze. The silence in the room was deafening, oppressive, and a knot of unease started forming in Azriel’s chest.

“What happened?” Azriel demanded, his tone sharper now, a hint of panic creeping into his voice.

Morrigan stood, her eyes glassy, and she whispered, “Azriel, I’m so sorry.”

Those words hit him like a physical blow. His breath caught in his throat, and he froze, the blood draining from his face.

“What do you mean?” His voice cracked, trembling as he stepped forward, his gaze darting between all of them. “What are you sorry for?”

When no one responded, Azriel’s shadows began swirling around him anxiously, mirroring the rising panic in his chest. His mind raced, and he tried to piece together what could possibly have gone so wrong. And then the realization struck him like a thunderclap.

“Kaia.”

The name barely left his lips before his legs gave out beneath him. Azriel collapsed to his knees, his wings sagging, his body trembling violently. Cassian and Rhysand were at his side in an instant, steadying him before he could crumple further.

“No... no, no, no,” Azriel choked out, his voice breaking as he tried to push himself up, only to falter. His hands clawed at the floor as his chest heaved, his breaths coming fast and shallow.

Cassian tightened his grip on Azriel’s shoulder, his voice thick with emotion as he said, “Az, we’re going to find her. We’ll get her back. She's out somewhere in the forest...”

But Azriel couldn’t seem to hear him. His hands were shaking, his usually composed demeanour completely shattered as the words tumbled out of him in a desperate, frantic stream.

“She was here—she was safe—I left her safe! How could this happen?” His voice cracked with anguish, his entire body trembling as if the weight of the moment was too much to bear.

“Azriel,” Morrigan whispered, crouching down in front of him, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch his arm. “We’re doing everything we can.”

Azriel shook his head, his throat working furiously as he tried to suppress the sob that threatened to escape. His shadows swirled more violently now, reflecting the storm raging inside him.

“She’s just a baby,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice so broken it barely resembled his own. “She’s so small... so helpless. She must be so scared.”

His head dropped, his forehead pressing against the floor as he gasped for breath, his shoulders shaking. Rhysand knelt beside him, his own expression filled with guilt and sorrow as he placed a hand on Azriel’s back.

“We’ll find her,” Rhysand said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Azriel, we’ll find her.”

But Azriel didn’t respond. All he could see was Kaia’s tiny face, her bright, curious eyes, and the way she always reached for him when she was scared. The thought of her out there, alone and terrified, was more than he could bear.

For the first time in centuries, Azriel felt completely and utterly powerless.

Azriel remained on the floor for a long moment, his breathing ragged and uneven as he tried to process what had happened. He clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white, his body trembling with the sheer force of his anguish.

Cassian, still crouched beside him, kept a hand on his shoulder, his own expression tight with guilt and pain. “Az, listen to me. We’ve been out there searching nonstop. Morrigan and Emerie combed every inch of the surrounding area. We’ll go back out as soon as the blizzard lets up.”

Azriel’s head shot up, his hazel eyes blazing with desperation. “She’s out there right now!” he snapped, his voice rising. “She’s out there, scared and cold, and we’re in here— waiting!”

“Azriel,” Rhysand said firmly, though his voice trembled ever so slightly. “If we go back out now, we risk losing more than just her. We won’t be any good to her if we can’t see, can’t move through the snow.”

Azriel surged to his feet, his wings flaring despite the confines of the room. “Then I’ll go alone.”

“No, you won’t,” Morrigan said sharply, stepping into his path. “You’re not thinking clearly, Az. You’ll freeze out there, and Kaia—she needs her father alive to save her.”

Those words stopped him, if only for a moment. Azriel stared at Morrigan, his chest heaving as he fought to regain control of himself. His shadows writhed around him, a chaotic swirl of despair and anger, as if they too were mourning Kaia’s absence.

Rhysand rose to his feet, standing tall as he addressed Azriel, his voice softer now. “We’ll leave at first light. The storm will break by then, and we’ll be able to cover more ground. I swear to you, Az, we won’t stop until we find her.”

Azriel’s shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of him as the weight of the situation pressed down on him. He staggered back a step, leaning heavily against the wall, his hands gripping the edge of a nearby table for support.

“She’s just a baby,” he whispered again, his voice breaking. “She shouldn’t have to go through this. Fuck.”

Cassian exchanged a look with Rhysand, both of them understanding the depth of Azriel’s pain. Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel’s arm, squeezing it reassuringly.

“We’ll get her back,” he said firmly. “We’ll get her back, Azriel.”

Azriel nodded weakly, though his expression was far from convinced. He dropped his head into his hands, his body trembling as he tried to keep himself together.

Azriel’s breathing came in sharp, erratic gasps, his chest rising and falling so quickly it seemed he might lose consciousness. His trembling hands gripped the edge of the table so tightly that it splintered beneath his grasp, cracks spidering through the wood. His wings, normally so steady, trembled and hung low, dragging slightly on the floor as though they too were weighed down by his anguish.

“Az, breathe,” Cassian urged, stepping closer, his voice steady but laced with concern. “You need to slow down, brother. You’re going to make yourself pass out.”

But Azriel didn’t seem to hear him. His eyes, wide and unfocused, darted around the room, as though searching for an answer no one could provide. His shadows writhed frantically around him, almost out of control, their dark tendrils stretching toward every corner of the room as if trying to escape the suffocating despair emanating from their master.

“Azriel,” Morrigan said softly, stepping closer but careful not to touch him. “Look at me. Focus on my voice.”

It was as though her words didn’t even register. Azriel’s knees buckled slightly, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the table harder, fighting to stay upright. His breathing turned to wheezing, the sound of it raw and strained.

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a worried glance, their minds flashing back to the last time they had seen him like this—when you were in labor with Kaia. It had been a terrifying and harrowing ordeal, your body too fragile to endure the complications that had arisen. The healers had worked tirelessly, and yet there had been a moment when Rhysand had feared they would lose you both.

Azriel had been nearly inconsolable then, pacing the hall outside the birthing room like a caged beast, his shadows snapping at anyone who dared approach. When they had carried you out, pale and unconscious, with Kaia far too small in the healer’s arms, Azriel had fallen to his knees, utterly wrecked.

Now, he was back in that place. Lost. Broken.

“Azriel,” Rhysand said firmly, moving closer despite the swirl of shadows surrounding him. “Breathe. Kaia needs you. We all need you. You can’t help her like this.”

Azriel’s head snapped up, his hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I failed her,” he choked out, his voice raw and trembling. “I failed her—just like I almost failed Y/N. I—”

“You didn’t fail anyone,” Cassian interrupted, his voice stern but filled with empathy. “This isn’t your fault, Az. None of this is.”

But Azriel’s shoulders shook as he tried and failed to draw in a deep breath, his body threatening to collapse under the weight of his emotions. It was Rhysand who stepped forward, grabbing his arms and holding him steady.

“Enough,” Rhysand said, his voice cutting through the storm of Azriel’s despair. “You are not alone in this, Azriel. You have us. We will find her. We will bring her back. But you need to pull yourself together right now because Kaia needs her father. She needs you strong.”

Azriel stared at him, his breathing still ragged, but Rhysand’s words seemed to pierce through the haze of panic. Slowly, shakily, Azriel nodded, though his hands still trembled, and his wings quivered with the effort of holding himself upright.

“She’s just a baby,” Azriel whispered, his voice cracking with anguish. “She’s all alone.”

“And we will get her back,” Rhysand repeated, his grip firm. “You will hold her in your arms again. I swear it.”

Azriel closed his eyes, forcing himself to take deep, uneven breaths. The room was heavy with tension, but no one spoke, giving him the space he needed to steady himself.

It took several long moments, but eventually, Azriel straightened, his trembling subsiding slightly, though the anguish in his eyes remained. He looked at Cassian and Morrigan, then at Rhysand, his jaw tight with determination.

“First light,” Azriel said, his voice quiet but resolute. “We leave at first light.”

Rhysand and Cassian each took one of Azriel’s arms, steadying him as he tried to rise from the floor. His legs felt like lead, and his body trembled as though it might give out again, but their grip kept him upright. Azriel’s shadows were still frantically swirling around him, darting into every corner of the room, as if desperate to find Kaia themselves.

As soon as Azriel was on his feet, he turned toward Rhysand, his face tight with a mixture of anguish and barely-contained anger. “How did this happen?” he asked, his voice low and trembling. “How did she even—how did you lose her?”

Rhysand flinched as if the words physically struck him, his violet eyes closing briefly. He let out a deep breath, his face crumpling with guilt. “It’s my fault,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret.

Azriel’s gaze sharpened, his hazel eyes narrowing as the weight of Rhysand’s words sank in. “What do you mean, your fault?” he demanded, his tone rising. “She’s a toddler, Rhys. My daughter. She can barely fucking run without landing flat on her ass. How could you—”

“We turned away for a moment,” Rhysand interrupted, his voice strained. “We were talking to a messenger from the camp. The weather was turning, and I thought—” He stopped, raking a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the words. “I told her not to go far, but she slipped away. I didn’t see her. I didn’t—”

Azriel stepped closer, his wings flaring slightly, though not in aggression—only pain. “You didn’t see her?” he repeated, his voice breaking. “You were supposed to be watching her, Rhys. You promised you’d keep her safe.”

Rhysand’s shoulders sagged under the weight of Azriel’s accusations. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I failed. I failed you. I failed her. I—” His voice cracked, and he turned away, his hand gripping the back of a chair as if to steady himself. “I’ve never felt more ashamed in my life.”

Azriel stared at him for a long moment, his chest heaving as he fought to keep his composure. Cassian stepped between them, his hands raised in a calming gesture. “Az,” he said carefully, his voice low and soothing. “Rhys is tearing himself apart over this. We all are. But fighting each other right now isn’t going to bring Kaia back.”

Azriel’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, his shadows lashing wildly around the room. But after a moment, he exhaled sharply, some of the fire in his eyes dimming as Cassian’s words registered. He turned back to Rhysand, his jaw tight.

“You should have been more careful,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion. “But I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. I know you love her, too.”

Rhysand looked up, his eyes glistening. “More than anything,” he whispered. “Azriel, I swear on everything I have, I will not rest until she’s back in your arms.”

Azriel nodded stiffly, though his shoulders remained tense. “We leave at dawn,” he said, his voice low and determined. “Every moment we waste, she gets further away. I don’t care about the weather. I don’t care about the risk. We find her.”

“And we will,” Cassian said firmly, clapping a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “We’re not stopping until we do.”

Azriel took a shuddering breath, his voice quieter now but no less resolute. “Someone has to go to the Day Court tomorrow. Y/N needs to know.”

The room fell silent, the weight of his words settling over them like a thick fog. Azriel’s shadows swirled tighter, curling around his shoulders as though trying to shield him from the unbearable thought of you finding out this way.

Cassian straightened from where he leaned against the table, his expression grim but determined. “I’ll go,” he said without hesitation. “You shouldn’t have to leave Kaia’s search, and... I’ll explain everything to her.”

Azriel nodded slowly, though his jaw clenched, his hands fisting at his sides. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll tell her everything,” Cassian promised. “But Az... you know what this is going to do to her. To both of you.”

Azriel’s eyes closed briefly, and when they reopened, they were blazing with a mixture of fear and determination. “I know,” he said. “But she deserves to know. If it were me in her place—” His voice broke, and he turned away, his wings drooping as though the weight of his emotions was too much to bear.

Cassian looked over at Rhysand, who gave a faint nod, though his expression was carved from stone. “Be careful with how you tell her,” Rhys said, his voice low and heavy. “This will break her, but she has to know we’re doing everything we can.”

Cassian’s jaw tightened, and he let out a slow breath. “I’ll leave at first light,” he said. “She’ll want to come back with me, though.”

Azriel’s head snapped up at that, his hazel eyes wide and pleading. “Cass, please. Don’t bring her back here yet. Not until we’ve found her. She’s been through too much already... if she comes back and Kaia’s still missing—”

“I know,” Cassian interrupted, his tone soft but firm. “I’ll do my best to keep her there. But you know Y/N. If she wants to come, nothing I say will stop her.”

Azriel dropped his head into his hands, his fingers gripping his hair as though trying to keep himself together. “Just try,” he murmured. “For her sake.”

“I will,” Cassian promised.

The three of them exchanged heavy looks, the silence between them filled with unspoken fears. They would face whatever came next together—no matter how painful.

-----

The golden hues of dawn painted the sky in strokes of orange and pink, spilling soft light over the Day Court balcony. You stretched as you stepped out, clutching a warm mug of tea in your hands. Nesta was already seated in a plush chair, her book open on her lap, her eyes scanning the pages with quiet focus. Feyre sat nearby, her sketchpad balanced against her knees, her pencil moving rhythmically across the paper.

The air was cool and fresh, carrying the faint scent of citrus and blooming flowers. You settled into a chair beside Nesta, exhaling a soft sigh as you cracked open your own book. “It’s so peaceful here,” you murmured, taking a sip of tea.

Nesta hummed in agreement, not looking up from her book. “I could get used to this,” she said, her tone softer than usual.

Feyre glanced up from her sketchpad, a faint smile on her face. “I think we all could,” she said. “The colours here are so vivid. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of sketching them.”

You glanced at her sketch, admiring the delicate lines she was using to capture the sunrise. “That’s beautiful,” you said. “You’ve really captured the light.”

Feyre blushed lightly but kept working, her pencil shading the edges of a cloud. “It’s easy when the view is this stunning.”

Nesta turned a page in her book, her brow furrowing slightly as she got engrossed in her reading. You noticed the title and arched a brow. “More smut, Nesta?” you teased lightly, earning a sharp glance from her.

“It’s not smut,” she shot back, though the corner of her mouth twitched. “It’s well-written romance. There’s a difference.”

Feyre snorted, her pencil stilling for a moment. “Is there, though?”

Nesta ignored her and went back to reading, though you caught the faintest hint of a smile.

The three of you fell into a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the rustle of pages, the scratch of Feyre’s pencil, and the occasional bird song in the distance. It was a rare moment of tranquility, a sliver of time where the world felt calm and safe.

You glanced at the horizon, watching as the sun climbed higher, bathing the balcony in warmth. “I wish mornings could always be like this,” you said softly.

Nesta nodded absently, her eyes still glued to her book. Feyre gave a small smile but didn’t look up, her focus entirely on her sketch.

You turned a page in your book, glancing at Nesta and Feyre as the sunlight bathed the balcony in a warm glow. A thought crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but smirk as you broke the peaceful silence.

“Do you two ever just...tug on your bond with your husbands when they’re away? You know, for fun?”

Nesta’s book lowered slightly, her eyes narrowing at you, though there was a flicker of amusement behind them. Feyre paused mid-shade, her pencil hovering over the sketchpad as a sly smile crept onto her face.

“I do,” Feyre admitted, her tone casual. “Sometimes it’s just to check on him. Other times…” She trailed off, her cheeks tinting pink.

Nesta raised an eyebrow but didn’t deny it. “Occasionally,” she said, flipping a page as if the conversation was nothing out of the ordinary. “It’s not like I need to, but if I want to make sure Cassian isn’t being a complete idiot, I might give it a tug.”

You chuckled at her response. “So you’re using it as a leash?”

“More like a tether,” Nesta said dryly, though a small smirk tugged at her lips.

Feyre laughed softly before turning her curious gaze to you. “What about you? Do you and Azriel tug on your bond?”

Your smile faded slightly, and you shook your head. “No, we don’t. We keep it closed most of the time.”

That seemed to catch both of their attention. Nesta set her book down, and Feyre rested her pencil on the edge of the sketchpad, their gazes now focused entirely on you.

“Why?” Feyre asked, her voice soft with curiosity.

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and staring out at the horizon. “Azriel’s work… it’s dangerous. It’s complicated. He doesn’t want his emotions to bleed through the bond when he’s out doing what he does. And I… I don’t want to distract him. The last thing he needs is to feel my panic if something goes wrong.”

Nesta tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. “But doesn’t that make it harder? Keeping it closed?”

“It does sometimes,” you admitted, tracing a finger along the edge of your book. “But we’ve always been like that. He’s so private, so controlled. Keeping the bond closed is his way of protecting me, even if I don’t always agree with it.”

Feyre frowned slightly. “Does he ever let it open? Even for a moment?”

“Rarely,” you said, a small smile creeping onto your lips. “But when he does… it’s like the world shifts. Everything feels lighter, stronger. I know how deeply he cares, even if he doesn’t say it outright.”

Nesta hummed, picking up her book again. “Sounds like Azriel.”

Feyre nodded, her expression softening. “He loves you, though. That much is obvious.”

You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest. “I know. And I love him, too. Even if he keeps his walls up, I’ve always found a way through them.”

"Good morning, my darlings," he greeted, his rich, melodic voice carrying a teasing lilt. His sun-kissed skin practically gleamed under the warm light, his golden robes flowing elegantly as he approached.

On the tray were platters of fresh fruit, honey-drenched pastries, thick slices of golden bread, and a teapot that steamed with a fragrant brew. "I thought I’d join my favourite troublemakers for breakfast. You looked like you needed something to recover from last night."

Nesta quirked an eyebrow, lowering her book slightly. “You mean, you’re here to eavesdrop on our morning conversation.”

Helion placed the tray on the small table in front of you, flashing her a dazzling smile. “Can’t I do both? I’m a master of multitasking.”

Feyre let out a soft laugh, setting her sketchpad aside. “You were just jealous we didn’t invite you to drink with us last night, weren’t you?”

Helion placed a hand over his chest as if wounded. “My dearest Feyre, I would have elevated the night to new heights. But alas, you kept me away.” He winked at you. “Likely to protect your darkest secrets from slipping out under the influence.”

You rolled your eyes but smirked. “As if you don’t already know half of them, Helion.”

He grinned, his golden eyes glinting with mischief. “And that is precisely why I make such excellent company. Who else would be able to handle the three of you at once?”

Nesta snorted. “I doubt you could keep up with us.”

Helion sat down gracefully on one of the chairs, leaning back as though he owned the place. He gestured toward the food. “Eat, eat! I insist. I’d hate for my efforts to go unappreciated.”

As you reached for a flaky pastry, you raised an eyebrow at him. “You didn’t make this, Helion.”

“Semantics, my dear,” he replied smoothly. “It arrived because of me. That’s what counts.”

Feyre poured herself a cup of tea, smiling softly. “Thank you, Helion. Truly.”

He waved a hand, his tone suddenly gentler. “You’re my guests. My family. It’s the least I can do.”

The four of you ate in comfortable silence for a few moments, the gentle breeze ruffling the pages of your book and Feyre’s sketchpad. Then, Helion broke the quiet with a dramatic sigh.

“So,” he said, leaning forward with a sly grin, “what scandalous gossip are we indulging in this morning? I do hope it involves someone’s husband.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d hope for that.”

Feyre smirked, shooting you a glance. “Actually, we were just discussing bonds and whether or not we tug on them when the guys are away.”

Helion’s eyes gleamed with interest as he turned to you. “And what did you say, my lovely enigma?”

You gave him a dry look. “I said Azriel and I keep our bond closed most of the time.”

Helion leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course. The shadowsinger. Always so mysterious. Though I must admit, I didn’t expect him to lock himself away even from you.”

“It’s complicated,” you replied, sipping your tea.

Helion tilted his head, studying you. “Is it? Or does he simply underestimate how much strength you already have?”

Nesta raised an eyebrow at that, and Feyre tilted her head in agreement, but you didn’t reply, instead focusing on the beautiful view of the Day Court stretching out before you.

Helion smiled knowingly. “Ah, silence. The loudest answer of all.” He reached for a piece of fruit, his golden eyes flicking between the three of you. “Well, I, for one, am honoured to bask in your company this morning. Even if I have to endure the heavy presence of shadows in the conversation.”

Feyre chuckled. “You’re insufferable, Helion.”

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” he replied with a wink.

The peaceful hum of your morning on the Day Court balcony was abruptly interrupted by the heavy thud of wings beating against the warm air. All of you looked up in surprise as Cassian landed on the edge of the balcony, his armour glinting faintly in the sunlight. His hair was windswept, his face drawn with tension, and his usual boisterous grin was absent.

“Cassian?” Nesta said, rising to her feet as he stepped forward.

Without a word, he cupped her face, pulling her in for a quick, fierce kiss. Nesta stiffened in shock before relaxing slightly, her hand brushing his chest in confusion.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, pulling back to search his face.

Cassian didn’t answer immediately, his hazel eyes darting to you. His expression softened with something you couldn’t quite place—remorse, fear, maybe both. He turned to you, taking a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low and unsteady.

You frowned, setting your book down. “Sorry for what?”

Feyre, seated beside you, blinked in confusion. “Cassian, what’s going on?”

Helion leaned back in his chair, his golden gaze narrowing as he studied the Illyrian general. “This feels suspiciously like the beginning of bad news,” he drawled, though his tone lacked its usual levity.

Cassian ignored him, his eyes locking with yours. “I—I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said, his voice breaking slightly.

Your stomach twisted uneasily. “Cassian, just say it. What’s wrong?”

Nesta’s hand tightened on his arm. “Cassian, you’re scaring us.”

He ran a hand through his windswept hair, his wings twitching behind him. “There’s been... an incident. Kaia—”

Your breath hitched, your heart slamming against your ribs. “What about Kaia? Where is she?”

Cassian’s face crumpled slightly as he struggled to find the words. “She’s... she’s missing.”

The world seemed to tilt beneath you, the weight of his words crashing into you like a tidal wave. Feyre gasped beside you, her hand flying to her mouth, while Nesta froze, her eyes wide with shock.

“What do you mean she’s missing?” you demanded, your voice sharp and trembling.

Cassian reached out, his hands shaking as he gestured toward you. “Rhys, Azriel, and I—we’ve been looking for hours. She wandered off during a trip outside, and we couldn’t—” His voice cracked. “I’m so sorry. We’re doing everything we can to find her.”

You stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor as your mind raced. “She’s out there in mountain weather?” Your voice rose, panic thickening every syllable.

Feyre grabbed your arm, trying to steady you as Nesta stepped closer to Cassian, her face pale with fury. “How could this happen?” she hissed.

Cassian didn’t flinch under her anger, his guilt evident in every line of his face. “We didn’t mean for it to. One second she was there, and the next—”

You didn’t wait to hear more. Your bond with Azriel, always kept tightly shut, pulsed faintly at the edges of your mind, and you reached for it instinctively, your panic bleeding into the connection.

Helion stood as well, his usual calm demeanour replaced by a grave expression. “We’ll find her,” he said firmly, though his words did little to calm the storm brewing inside you.

“She’s out there,” you whispered, your voice breaking as tears blurred your vision. “My baby is out there.”

The world spun around you, and a sharp, nauseating wave of panic swept over you like a tidal wave. Your breath caught in your chest, and your stomach churned violently. The last few minutes felt like they were moving in slow motion—Cassian’s words, the overwhelming realization of what had happened, the shock that froze you in place.

“I—I’m going to throw up,” you muttered, barely able to form the words, your hand clutching at your stomach. The feeling was suffocating, and before anyone could react, your body lurched forward.

You barely had time to brace yourself as your stomach emptied, the contents spilling out onto the floor in front of you. The gagging sound seemed to echo in the room, your vision blurred with tears of frustration, fear, and helplessness.

Nesta cursed under her breath, rushing to your side. “Y/N, breathe,” she urged, kneeling beside you. She gently rubbed your back as Feyre stood frozen, her own face pale, her hands clenched at her sides.

You gasped for air, still fighting the urge to be sick, but the panic was unbearable. “Kaia,” you whispered, your voice broken and weak. “She’s out there. She’s all alone.”

Cassian’s face was stricken with guilt, his hand reaching out but stopping short. He didn’t know how to fix this. None of them did.

“Y/N, you have to stay calm,” Nesta said, her tone firm but caring. She didn’t pull away as she continued to soothe you, though you could hear the tightness in her voice, the same fear you felt.

But it was too much. The weight of it all—the danger Kaia was in, the impossibility of the situation, the sheer overwhelming terror of losing her—was crushing you from every side. You could feel it suffocating you.

“I can’t… I can’t lose her,” you choked out between ragged breaths. “I can’t.”

Your body trembled, still caught in the aftermath of the sickness, but your mind was clearer now, focused entirely on one thing: getting to Kaia.

“Cassian…” Your voice was low, almost desperate as you looked up at him, your hands reaching out toward him. “Please. I need to go to her. Bring me to her.”

Cassian hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering to the others in the room, but he remained firm in his response. “Azriel said you need to stay here, Y/N. You’re in no condition to travel. You’re still… you’re still not yourself.” His voice was gentle, but the firmness in it was unyielding.

You clenched your fists, frustration and worry bubbling to the surface. “I don’t care what Azriel said. I need to go, Cassian. She’s my daughter, and I—” You cut yourself off, choking on your words, your breath ragged as the weight of helplessness settled on you once again.

Cassian’s jaw tightened, clearly torn between your pain and his loyalty to Azriel’s wishes. “I know you want to be there for her, but we need you to stay calm. We’ll find her, I promise.” His voice softened, though the unsaid words hung in the air between you both. He couldn’t bear to see you suffer like this, but he was equally unwilling to go against Azriel’s wishes, especially given the state you were in.

“You can’t promise that, Cassian,” you whispered, your eyes filling with tears. “I have to go. I need to see her.”

The words hung heavy in the room, and for a moment, the only sound was the thrum of your pulse, the pain in your chest. Cassian stood still, staring at you with sympathy, but his resolve remained.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “But for now, Azriel’s decision stands.”

You felt the frustration and helplessness bubbling inside you, finally boiling over in a burst of raw emotion. Without thinking, you screamed at Cassian, the force of your voice nearly knocking you back.

“How dare you?!” Your words were sharp and full of pain, your body trembling as you stood, your fists clenched at your sides. “How dare you keep me from my daughter? I’m her mother! You don’t get to tell me I can’t go to her, Cassian!”

The words sliced through the air, filled with all the worry and fear that had been tormenting you since the moment Kaia went missing.

You were breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling with the intensity of your emotions, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care that you were yelling, that your voice was breaking. All that mattered was that you needed to see Kaia.

“I need to go to her!” you shouted, your voice cracking with the weight of your own helplessness. "I don't care what Azriel said! I am her mother, and I will not stay here while she's out there alone!"

Cassian’s face paled, and for a moment, you could see the weight of your words hit him. He flinched at the force of your anger, but his expression was filled with the same sorrow he had when he tried to hold you back.

“Y/N, I know you're hurting—” he began, but you cut him off, the pain driving you to keep pushing, keep screaming.

“No! You don’t know!” you yelled, voice rising again. “You don’t know what this feels like! You have no idea what it’s like to be so close, but still feel like you're losing everything, again. FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE! You don’t get to make this decision for me!”

You didn’t know where the strength to scream came from, but you felt like you might collapse after releasing it all.

Cassian’s face softened, and he took a step toward you, his own frustration and sorrow evident. “I’m trying to protect you, Y/N. Azriel’s trying to protect you. We’re all trying to make sure you’re okay.”

But you were done listening to him. You shook your head, wiping at the tears that had fallen without your consent, and you stepped back.

“I’ll find her myself if I have to,” you spat, your voice low and dangerous now, the anger still buzzing in your veins. You knew you couldn’t—knew you’d never leave without their help—but the desperation in your words was undeniable.

Cassian sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Y/N. But I can’t let you go right now.” His voice was quiet, filled with the weight of his own guilt.

You glared at Cassian, your body still trembling from the intensity of the emotions you’d just unleashed. The anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but now there was an edge of frustration too. How could they forget? How could they forget who you were, who your family was?

You stepped closer to him, your voice low but seething with sharpness. “You and Azriel are so stupid,” you bit out, your words slicing through the air. “Did you really forget that I’m royalty? That I can winnow wherever I want?”

Cassian’s eyes widened in surprise, the realization dawning on him, but it didn’t stop the irritation that continued to rise in you.

“I don’t need permission from anyone,” you continued, your voice growing louder, filled with the weight of your frustration. “I’ve been through more than you’ll ever understand, and you both are sitting here acting like I’m helpless. I’m not.”

Your heart raced, the anger and panic swirling together as you took another step closer. “I’ve lived for centuries. I’ve faced things that you can’t even imagine, and you still forget who I am.”

Cassian stood frozen, and for a brief moment, you saw the guilt in his eyes. But you couldn’t hold back anymore. The emotions, the stress, the overwhelming need to find Kaia—they all surged to the surface.

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you hissed, each word filled with a raw power. “I’ll find my daughter myself.”

With that, you focused, your power thrumming beneath your skin. In a heartbeat, you winnowed out of the room, leaving Cassian standing there, his face stricken with shock.

You were done waiting. You were going to find Kaia. And nothing was going to stop you.

-----

You landed on the icy ground outside the cabin, your power swirling around you like a storm. Snow whipped through the air, the biting cold doing nothing to quell the fury blazing in your chest. You didn’t wait for an invitation. You pushed the door open, the warmth of the cabin contrasting violently with the icy wrath in your veins.

Rhysand was in the middle of the room, his hands braced on the edge of the dining table, his shoulders slumped in a way you rarely ever saw. At the sound of your arrival, his head snapped up, and his face paled as he saw the fire in your eyes.

“YN—” he started, his voice soft and broken.

“Don’t,” you snapped, your voice trembling with rage. “Don’t you dare try to explain this away, Rhysand.” You stalked toward him, each step heavy with the weight of your fury.

He held up his hands, his expression pained. “I know, I—”

“You let this happen!” you shouted, cutting him off. “How could you, Rhys? She’s my daughter!”

Rhys’s shoulders sagged further, his violet eyes shining with guilt. “It’s my fault,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I should’ve been watching her more closely. I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight.”

The admission only fuelled your anger further. “You’re damn right it’s your fault!” you yelled, your voice echoing off the wooden walls of the cabin. “You, of all people, Rhys! You were supposed to protect her! And instead, you let her out of your sight? You let her disappear?”

Rhys flinched as though you’d struck him, but you didn’t stop. The pain and anger pouring out of you were unstoppable.

“And then,” you continued, your voice shaking with emotion, “you let Azriel tell me to stay behind? You let him keep this from me, let me sit there while my daughter—” Your voice broke, tears blurring your vision as you struggled to find the words.

“I thought I was doing what was best,” Rhys said, his own voice raw. “I thought if you came back, it would only make things worse. I didn’t want you to—”

“To what?” you cut in sharply. “To do exactly what I’m doing now? To fight for my daughter?”

“I didn’t want you to break,” he whispered, his voice so soft you almost missed it.

Your chest heaved, the pain in his words digging into your heart, but you couldn’t let go of your anger. “You think I haven’t already broken?” you demanded, your voice cracking. “You think I could sit there and not know? Not fight for her? She’s my daughter, Rhys. My world. And you—”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you shook your head, taking a step back from him. “You failed her, and you failed me.”

Rhys looked devastated, his usually calm demeanour completely shattered. He took a shaky breath, running a hand through his dark hair. “I know,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I know I failed you. I failed Kaia. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right.”

But his words weren’t enough. They couldn’t undo the hours Kaia had been missing, the fear clawing at your chest, or the image of your baby girl out there in the cold.

You turned away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself as the tears came harder now, the anger giving way to despair. “I’m her mother,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. “I should’ve been here. I should’ve been the one to protect her.”

“You will,” he said softly. “We will. I swear to you, Y/N, we will bring her home.”

Rhys gently reached out, his hand brushing your shoulder as he tried to draw you closer, but you resisted. The sobs wracking your body were almost too much, your anger still boiling over despite the tears streaming down your face.

“Don’t—don’t touch me!” you choked out, but he ignored your words, pulling you into his chest.

“Let it out, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice soft and pained. “Just let it out.”

The dam broke as soon as you felt his arms wrap around you. Your fists came up, weak and sloppy, as you hit his chest over and over again. “How—could—you—let—this—happen?” you cried, punctuating each word with another hit.

Rhys didn’t flinch, didn’t move to stop you. He just stood there, holding you close, letting you take out every ounce of anger and heartbreak on him.

“I trusted you,” you sobbed, your punches losing strength as you buried your face against him. “She’s—she’s my baby, Rhys. She’s my baby…”

“I know,” he whispered, his voice breaking, his hand smoothing over your hair as he held you tightly. “I know, YN. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You clung to him now, your fists balled in his shirt as you sobbed uncontrollably. The room felt smaller, heavier, as the weight of your anguish filled the space.

Rhys just held you, his own tears slipping down his cheeks as he whispered apologies, his heart breaking alongside yours. “We’ll find her,” he said again, though his voice was hoarse and strained. “I swear to you, we’ll find her.”

But his promises felt hollow, the fear and pain overwhelming every other thought in your mind. You could only cry, clinging to your brother, desperate for the nightmare to end.

The door swung open with a gust of icy air as Azriel stepped inside, brushing snow from his shoulders. His hair was damp from the storm, his face etched with exhaustion and anguish. But the second his eyes landed on you standing there, dishevelled and tear-streaked in the middle of the room, his expression froze in shock.

"Y/N," he breathed, his voice rasping with disbelief. "What are you doing here? I told Cassian to—"

"Don’t even start fucking with me right now," you cut him off, your voice trembling with fury as you pulled away from Rhys. Your fists were clenched at your sides, your body taut with barely restrained emotion. “You told Cassian? You told Cassian? Azriel, my daughter is missing, and you thought you could order me to stay put like I’m some helpless bystander?”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his eyes darting between you and Rhysand in the room. “I didn’t want you in danger,” he said, his tone low but defensive. “The storm—”

“The storm?” you snapped, stepping closer, your voice rising with every word. “I am her mother, Azriel! Do you think for one second that I would let a little snow stop me from trying to find her? You had no right to keep this from me!”

“I was trying to protect you!” he countered, his own voice rising now. His shadows curled around him, restless and agitated. “You don’t understand how dangerous this is, YN! You didn’t see what we found out there—”

“And whose fault is that?” you shouted, your hands trembling. “You left me in the dark, Azriel! You left me behind when I should’ve been here, with her, with you!”

Azriel took a step closer, his face contorted with pain. “I didn’t want you to go through this. Not again.”

His words hit you like a physical blow, the weight of them sinking into your chest. “Do you think I’m not already going through it?” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Every second she’s out there, I’m dying inside. You should’ve trusted me, Azriel. You should’ve told me.”

The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by your ragged breathing and the distant howl of the wind outside. Azriel looked at you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I didn’t want to lose you too,” he said, his voice barely audible.

Your fury wavered for a moment, replaced by the raw ache in his words. But the pain of Kaia’s absence burned brighter, and you shook your head, stepping back. “This isn’t about me, Azriel. This is about her. And we are wasting time.”

Azriel’s shoulders sagged, his shadows wrapping tightly around him as if to shield him from the weight of your words. “You’re right,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “You’re right.”

Azriel flinched as if you had physically struck him, his shadows recoiling and tightening around him. His eyes, which usually held warmth and steadiness, now mirrored the brokenness in his soul. You stood in the middle of the room, trembling with fury and heartbreak, your voice sharp enough to cut through steel.

“After everything we’ve been through, Azriel,” you began, your tone low but seething, “after all these centuries, I never thought I could look at you and feel this... this rage. This disappointment.”

“Y/N, please,” he started, his voice cracking as he stepped toward you, his hand half-reaching. But you took a step back, holding your ground.

“No!” you shouted, your voice shaking the room as much as your hands were. “You don’t get to plead with me. Not after what you’ve done. You made a decision for me, for us, without even giving me the chance to fight for her. Do you know how that feels, Azriel? Do you know what it’s like to feel useless when your child—our child—is out there, scared and alone?”

“I was trying to protect you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the roaring fire in the hearth. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through this—”

“You didn’t protect me, Azriel,” you hissed, tears streaking down your face. “You betrayed me. You made me feel like I wasn’t enough, like I couldn’t handle the weight of this, when all I wanted was to be by your side. And now? Now I don’t even know if I can look at you without—”

You choked on the words, your throat tightening. But you forced them out, every syllable laced with venom and heartbreak. “I’ve never been so disappointed in my mate before. I didn’t even think it was possible, but you’ve proven me wrong. You’ve hurt me in a way I didn’t think you ever could, and I—”

You paused, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “I think I hate you for it.”

Azriel froze, his entire body stiffening as your words sank in. His shadows stilled, no longer flickering with life but curling around his boots as if in mourning. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

The silence was deafening, the air between you thick with pain and regret. Finally, he whispered, “I don’t know how to fix this.”

You let out a hollow laugh, wiping angrily at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “You can start by finding our daughter, Azriel. Because if you don’t…” You shook your head, unable to finish the sentence.

Without another word, you turned away from him, your heart shattering into a thousand pieces as you left him standing there, broken and alone.

You stormed toward the door, grabbing the first coat you saw on the rack. Your movements were quick and fuelled by pure adrenaline, your mind racing with thoughts of Kaia out there somewhere—scared, cold, and alone. As your fingers fumbled with the buttons, a shadow darted in front of you, blocking the doorway.

“YN, stop,” Rhysand said, his voice steady but laced with desperation. His hand was outstretched, palm up, as if he were trying to calm a feral beast. “You can’t go out there. Not in this storm. It’s too dangerous.”

You turned on him, your eyes blazing with fury. “Move, Rhys. I’m not asking.”

Before he could respond, Azriel appeared beside him, his shadows curling protectively around his frame. His face was pale, and his golden eyes were glassy with guilt and pain. “Please, don’t do this,” Azriel said, his voice hoarse. “It’s too dangerous out there. I can’t lose you too.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you snapped, your voice trembling with barely contained rage. “Neither of you do. My daughter is out there, Azriel. Our daughter. And I won’t sit here another second while she’s alone in the cold.”

“I understand how you feel—” Rhys began, but you cut him off with a sharp laugh, bitter and raw.

“You understand?” you spat, stepping closer to him. “Your son is safe, warm, and alive, Rhys. Don’t you dare tell me you understand what this feels like. Don’t you dare.”

Rhysand flinched, his mouth pressing into a thin line. Azriel stepped forward, his voice breaking as he said, “YN, please. I’ll go back out. I’ll search all night if I have to. But you can’t do this. I need you to be safe.”

“You need me to be safe?” you repeated, your voice rising. “Where was that concern when you decided to keep me in the dark? Where was that when you made me stay behind like I’m some fragile porcelain doll? You don’t get to need me now, Azriel. Not after everything.”

Tears welled in his eyes, but he didn’t move out of your way. Neither of them did.

“Move,” you demanded, your voice shaking.

“No,” Azriel said, his voice firm but trembling at the edges. “I won’t let you.”

The room seemed to shrink around you as you stared at him, your chest heaving with anger and despair. “Then you’ll have to stop me,” you said coldly, stepping forward.

Rhysand’s magic flickered in the air, subtle but ready, and Azriel’s shadows coiled tighter. But neither of them moved.

“You can try to stop me,” you said, your voice low and dangerous, “but you won’t win. Not this time.”

For a moment, all three of you were frozen in a tense standoff, the howling wind outside the only sound. Finally, Rhysand stepped aside, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Azriel hesitated, his hand twitching at his side, but he eventually followed suit, his shadows retreating as his eyes filled with anguish.

Without another glance, you threw the coat over your shoulders, opened the door, and stepped out into the icy storm.

Part 4

[voxisdaddy]

Love Me, Please

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairings: Alastor/Lucifer/Adam/Husk/Angel/Vox/Valentino/Tom Trench/Saint Peter

Type: Scenarios/Comfort

C/TW: Swearing, blood, reader written with fem parts in mind (bc this bout periods, duh)

In which you miss your boyfriend/cling to your boyfriend and are being emotional about it. Basically—period emotions.

This is more for me bc it’s that time of the month and I desperately want some comfort lol | also Angel’s I left up to either be platonic or romantic

Alastor

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He was at yet another unremarkable overlord meeting when he felt something pulling on him. Back at the hotel, you laid on your bed wrapped in a cocoon of sorts, eyes tiredly watching your shadow pulling on one of Alastor’s shadows-which he left to keep an eye on you. Alastor’s grin turned to one of amusement—oh how needy you are when it’s that time of the month for you. The meeting finally came to a close and instead of making his way back to the hotel with a lovely stroll, he disappears in his shadows. Not before bidding a friendly farewell with his dear friend, Rosie. He materializes in the center of your room with a shit eating grin as he twirls his microphone around.

“I was hardly apart from you for more than an hour, my dear.”

Lucifer

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lucifer had errands he couldn’t postpone today and so he made you promise to text him when you miss him and he’ll make his way right back in a jiffy! The bedroom door only closed behind him when he got a text from you. An ‘I miss you’ along with a sad face emoticon. He burst the door open, tears welling up in his eyes, as he crawled back into bed with you to hold you close. You honestly thought he was more emotional than you at the moment.

“My poor ducky! I’m sowwy!”

Adam

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Adam has been around for ages so I like to think he knows a bit about menstruation. On top of that, he has an army of baddies he likes spending time with-usually training but that's still time spent with them regardless. However he's definitely still rough around the edges since usually with his girls, he uses that to egg them on into being tougher fighters either physically or emotionally. If you're a person who's quick to be a grump or a crying mess then uhhh...just know he doesn't mean to be a dick all the time. He tries though, despite how annoying and tiresome it is. Especially since you make him feel oh so special with how you seem to demand his attention and his attention only. Right now you lay on his chest, looking on at the items set on the coffee table with a glint of amusement.

"Babe-you said pads with wings! I got that! I even made sure the chicken wings came with the good sauce."

Husk

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Husk is very vigilant so he's quickly able to come to the conclusion that you're on your period before even you realize it. It was just after he finished closing up the bar and returned to your room for a late nights rest when he smelt it. He might technically be an old man, but he's a respectful one and has been around for quite some time. He knows that small. Despite knowing you might be embarrassed to find out that he can smell it, he figured you'd be more grateful that he woke you up so you can deal with it before you wake up feeling all gross and annoyed in the morning. Plus it was worth it to almost immediately get a hug from you after being apart for a few extra hours than he liked.

"Come on. Don't wanna ruin your new pajama's now, do you baby doll?

Angel Dust

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man was out on a much needed night out with his long time bestie, Cherri Bomb. You of course coming as his plus one that his bestie always welcomed like the supportive girly she is. He couldn't quite enjoy himself as much this time around though as he sat at in a corner booth with you hunched over your drink. You're hand gripping one of his hands as if you're afraid he's gonna leave. Despite how awkward he felt trying to comfort you, he did his best and allowed himself to be as sympathetic as much as he could.

"Toot's-if you wanna leave it's okay! You know I'll stick with ya! No need to make ya headache worse than it already is!"

Vox

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vox still holds certain belief's and mindsets he had from his time in the 1950's. Part of that meaning him being 'grossed out' by your period and beliefs in woman faking or over exaggerating their monthly disturbances. He learned to keep his opinions to himself though, due to previous encounters with Velvette, and found it easier to just well, cater to your needs. They were easy enough for the most part. Food and beverage cravings? He's got ya covered. Cramps and aches? You're in luck because this man is basically one large heating pad. Which quickly became a downside for him because then you wanted him all the time. Didn't matter if he was working or not. He tried to put his foot down once but it only made you emotional so uhhh-

"Honey, I'll only be gone for one hour. As soon as the meeting ends, I'll lay my head on your stomach, okay?"

Valentino

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Valentino can only smirk to himself when he finds out it's now your time of the month. Which isn't hard to figure out since he woke up to you latched onto him like a koala this morning. A puff of red smoke invades your senses as a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders, a third hand coming to play with the top of your head. Valentino, spending years working with woman and people who endure this bloody cycle, knows a few...remedy's. He has his favourite solutions, obviously. Only if you're down. The last time he tried being more...persuasive with his advances to you during these times, it didn't go well-to put it lightly.

"Mi cariño~A good fucking helps with this time of the month, you kno-" ... "Or we could share some snacks. Kitty!"

Tom Trench

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ For this man I pray you are not a bitch on your period. Poor guy already has to deal with his co-star Katie Killjoy everyday. Whatever you deal with on your period though, just know your man is there and keeps your needy ass close. Such as right now, as you sit in an oversized fuzzy hoodie on Tom's couch, watching him and Katie host the latest news live. You glance down at your phone with Tom's messages open. You want to text him but you knew it wouldn't reach him anyways-they had to keep their devices on silent while they hosted. As soon as they were finished with their shift of the day however, Tom rushed to his dressing room to find you staring at the door with open arms.

"The interns told me you were waiting for me."

Saint Peter

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man would never admit it out loud, and if he did he would word it very carefully, but he loves it when its your time of the month. I mean he feels bad for you obviously; dealing with an inconvenience once a month even in your afterlife does not sound like any sort of blessing, but he's clingy and affectionate himself. And you clinging to him just as much? Oh it's like he's died and went to Heaven-again! Currently he lays on the couch with you in his arms, you both engulfing each other in a snuggly cuddle. He periodically checks the time-as much as he loves this he's still got a job to do. He voices this but quickly finds himself soothing you.

"I'm only going to work, sweetheart! P-please don't cry!"

This was supposed to be reader missing them but some of them became not exactly that and I’m sorry lol

I’ve had this in my drafts for a month, felt about right to finally post it. I’m also ashamed to admit, it took me way too long trynna figure out what to write for Tom’s dialogue. I love him but if I don’t know him as well as I thought 😭

[redtsundere-writes]

Date 1. Going To The Gym Together

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Soldier!Reader

Next ➜

Summary: You just want to help Ghost to stop harming himself… These aren't dates, okay?

TW: MNDI. Self-harm. Smut. Possessiveness and Jealousy.

A/N: I barely know anything about the COD lore and I barely know how to write the British accent. If something feels out of character, sowwy :c Hope you like it! <3

Everyone warned you that it wasn't a good idea to sleep on top of the lieutenant. You should have listened. In addition to snoring like a lion with asthma and mumbling curses in his sleep, he shook you every time he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Tonight would be no exception.

Sitting on his almost flat mattress, Ghost shook the bunk bed you shared in the barracks. He couldn't help it. It was his large muscles against the weak metal structure. You grunted a complaint as you woke up when you just fell asleep. Your half-open eyes could barely focus on your lieutenant's masked face in the darkness.

"Sorry, go back to sleep," Ghost whispered to you, his hoarse voice tickling your ear.

"Whatever…" You mumbled tired before rolling over on your poor excuse for a bed.

You listened to his footsteps until they disappeared into the darkness. You turned your pillow to the cool side, counted sheep, and remembered that time you tripped over a fence in front of Task Force 141 in the middle of a mission. Sergeant Soap laughed so hard that the enemies almost spotted them. You checked your watch in resignation. 2 a.m. It had been an hour since Ghost had left. Men usually took forever in the bathroom, but this was ridiculous.

You jumped out of your bed to go find him. Maybe he was feeling sick to his stomach and needed help. The stew they had been served that day looked suspiciously more disgusting than usual. Stepping out into the hallway, you noticed that the bathroom door was swung wide open. You looked around. There was no sign of him.

The base at night was much more welcoming than during the day. Everything was quiet, nothing moved except for a poorly placed light bulb flickering in one of the lanterns in the weapons storage room. A trail of steam escaped from your warm lips as you took a stroll around the grounds in a last attempt to fall asleep. Tough task, not only because you were a light sleeper, but because it was hard to relax when you had a job as hard as being a soldier.

Darkness embraced every building, except for the gym. A single spotlight was on. You thought it would be a guard or something, but the reality was different. The dry sound of intense jabs and the loud clanking of chains increased with each step you took towards the door. You peeked curiously to see who it was. You didn't even need to see his face to know who it was.

His muscular back shone under the warm light, making the tiny beads of sweat that slowly ran down his spine shine. Those strong arms that could snatch the air from the lungs of any man or any woman depending on the context. It was unmistakable. It was Lieutenant Ghost. He was hitting the bag as if it had fuck his mother. Each blow was chaotic, powerful, intense. It was very different from what you were used to seeing in training.

Rough growls emanated from his throat after each punch. Ghost was in the zone and no one could move him from there. Each blow conveyed frustration, anger, rage. For not being enough, for not being more skilled, for having to remember everything. This was better than any addiction he had at hand, or that’s what he told himself until he finally broke. A presence entered his personal space. All the years of training ran through his veins before he turned around and attacked the intruder.

The snap of his fist impacting your palm woke him from the murderous trance he was in. You had caught his fist mere centimeters from your face. You sighed in relief at being able to stop it. If it hadn't been that way, he would have easily knocked you out. Ghost opened his eyes in shock as he realized he almost hurt you.

“Bloody hell, why do you have to be so quiet?” Ghost grumbled as he removed his hand.

“It’s not my fault you can’t be,” you reproached.

You shook your hand off to relieve the pain. As you did, you noticed a reddish tint on it that wasn’t there before. That wasn’t your blood. Your gaze traveled to Ghost’s fists. His knuckles covered by the white bandages were painted red.

“Since when are you doing this?” You asked him seriously before wiping the blood off with the back of your pants.

“Do what?” Ghost tried to downplay what he already knew you were asking him.

“Harm yourself”

Calling it that made it real. His knuckles stung as the adrenaline went down. It was sharp, it was stabbing, it was there. A lump formed in his throat. He didn't have the courage to give you a concrete answer as to why he did it. You were his subordinate, he was the one who had to set the example.

Men suffer in silence, but their actions scream their pain. His bloody knuckles were the only sign you needed to know what you had to do about it. You grabbed his wrist to pull him to the nearest bench there was, he just followed in complete submission. You forced him to sit down while you looked for the first aid kit.

"It's not that serious..." Ghost tried to minimize what was happening.

"Shut up," you ordered as you cleaned your hands with antibacterial gel to begin treating the wound.

You removed the dirty bandages he was using when boxing to expose his thick, calloused hands. You poured some chlorhexidine on a cotton ball to disinfect the wound. Ghost whined as the liquid came into contact with the injury.

“Stop acting like a big baby,” you scolded as you held his wrist to stop him from moving.

“It burns,” Ghost growled through his teeth.

“Remember this pain the next time you try to do something stupid like this,” you scolded him as soon as you were done.

You bandaged his hand as the night passed unnoticed. You were focused on your work, but you could feel his eyes scanning your body, tattooing your image into his mind. You had been in the military for over 8 years. You had learned to be stronger than any of your colleagues to command respect. No man intimidated you, but Ghost? He was a whole different story.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, pretending that him staring at you so intensely didn’t bother you.

“No,” he replied coldly. He didn't want his problems to become yours.

"I figured," you answered quickly. "But it's better to get the poison out than to leave it in."

"Not if that poison just ends up spreading."

Your hands stopped and you looked into his eyes. Those brown eyes that have seen the worst in the world, witnessed what humans are capable of doing for money, honor or survival. He had that look that completely disarmed you, leaving you completely at his mercy. Ever since you met him, his word was the command and you couldn't do anything about it. If Ghost wanted you to jump, you jumped. If Ghost ordered you to drive, you were already in the car. If Ghost ordered you to kill someone, you had already done it by yesterday. You never knew what was going through his mind and you weren't sure if you wanted to know. An unfair game of Simon says.

"Don't be afraid to poison me, I can resist it," you whispered in a small voice before returning to the role of nurse.

“You're already poisoned, it would be cruel of me to give you more.” Ghost imitated your tone of voice, serious and cautious.

You were already understanding where he was going. He was talking about the mental burden that comes with being a soldier. A job that anyone would turn their back on if it weren't for the benefits that come with it. A job where only the luckiest last. It doesn't matter if you're the strongest, smartest or most popular, one bullet and it's over. You finished bandaging his hands, the hands that you've seen so many times bathed in the enemy's blood.

“If I'm already poisoned, what are you worried about?” You arranged the bottles in the kit to distract your mind from the heavy conversation.

“Because I care about you,” he confessed. You closed the tin kit with a click and stood up to take it to its respective place.

Ghost moved his fingers to inspect your work, caressing the bandages with his thumbs. It wasn’t bad. You were taking your time returning the first aid kit to the small metal locker, but you really needed a second for your knees to stop shaking.

“And because I care about you, I worry.” Ghost’s voice echoed through the gym, but you were the only one to hear it.

“I care and worry about you too,” you said before going back to him. “That's why I'm worried that you self-harm like that.”

You were face to face with him sitting on the bench. You were so small compared to his impressive 6’4 body. Everyone looked small next to him, but you were different. Even though he knew you could kick his ass, he wanted to pull you by the waist and hug you until you disappeared in his arms, but that wouldn't be the most professional thing to do.

“It's the only way I can escape,” Ghost whispered his secret to you.

“What a coward,” you imitated his tone of voice.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Why don't you find another kind of escape? Some hobby, learn something new, fuck, go to therapy, I don't know…”

“What?” Ghost raised an eyebrow under his balaclava upon hearing one of the options.

“I know a lot of soldiers think therapy is for babies, but it might help you…”

“No, no. The other option. Fucking? Really?” Ghost asked, still in disbelief.

“Why do you think Captain Price goes to the infirmary every time we get back from a mission?” You asked, a tad funny in your voice.

Ghost knew about Price’s escapades with the nurses, but he couldn’t imagine himself distracting himself that way. He was more traditional, old-fashioned perhaps. He preferred making love to just fucking. He didn’t have time to waste on one-night stands. Besides, he had someone in his mind for a long time.

“Here’s an idea. How about I help you find something healthier to do than grind your knuckles? Maybe if we do it together, you’ll want to venture out more.”

His lips curved under his mask at the thought. That sounded more like dates than an attempt to help his mental health, but he knew your intention was innocent. Whatever it was, your plan meant spending time with you, so he took it.

“That doesn’t sound bad.” He shrugged as if it were nothing.

“Shall we start tomorrow?”

The two of you silently returned to the dorms. The symphony of snoring masked your soft footsteps. You tried to climb the ladder to the bunk bed, but Ghost grabbed you by the waist to pull you up himself. You froze since this was the first time he had done it, but you didn’t complain so as not to wake anyone up.

“Good night,” Ghost whispered to you before getting into the bottom bunk.

“Good night. Rest well,” you whispered between stutters before lying down on the top mattress.

Ghost replayed in his mind what had happened that night. He lifted his hand to see the bandages you had placed on him and couldn’t help but smile to himself at the sight. He kissed his knuckles before resting his hand on his chest. He was on dangerous ground, but he didn’t care. He was willing to spend more time with you. This could either go very well or very badly.

Masterlist.

Next ➜

Thanks for reading! <3

[wizardnuke]

28 and 30 is fine. the way people Behaved when we were 18 and 20. HELLO. his parents would beat my ass. they would show up at my fucking house. if i did something fucked up

speaking of age gaps do you think people are going to continue to be strange to me now that im 22 and he's 20 and the first number matches now. do you think people are still gonna make faces about it

[kayhi808]

First Crush -12

It was an epic battle of wills, Abigail Rose vs Mama. Abby needed to go down for her nap, but she didn't want to. You understood. Today was so much fun. So many new things to see and do, but you also knew what a grump she could be when she's tired and fussy. You also knew she'd be staying up late with the fireworks and you didn't want your exhausted baby ruining it for anyone.

"Pleeease, Mama! I don't wants to. I don't wike it." Your baby's eyes fill will large tears.

"You take naps after lunch everyday. Today is no different," brushing her hair off her forehead.

"No, Mama."

You had walked off further into the picnic area, pulling a blanket out of her backpack, so she could nap outdoors and still be at the fair. "It's your choice, do you want to nap here, back at Bucky's place, or we can go straight home." Abby stomps her foot. "When you wake up from your nap, we'll go back to playing. We can do face painting. How would you like that?" Abby shakes her head & her tears start to fall. "You can be a bunny and I can be a piggy."

"NO!"

"Hey, don't yell at me Abby."

"I don't wike you!" Bucky sees you flinch at her words. She pulls away from you and runs to Bucky, "I don't wants to nap. I's not tired. Please Bucky." Her little hands swiping the tears from her chubby cheeks. Bucky looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

Sternly but quietly, "Abigail, come here. Now." Abby doesn't leave Bucky's side. "I said, now."

She cries louder, but waddles back to you. You hold her hands & tilt her chin up so she's looking at you. "I'm your Mama. Not Bucky. You listen to me. You want to get Bucky into trouble??" Bucky gives you a mischievous smile. You squint a glare back at him.

"N...no, Mama."

"If I tell you no, you don't go to someone else and ask them. I already said no. Doing that is bad."

"I's not bad girl."

You gather her onto your lap, "No, you're not a bad girl. You made a mistake, but now you know that's not a good thing to do." She sticks her thumb in her mouth & nods.

"I sowwy," she mumbles around her thumb.

Bucky walks over and lays at the edge of the blanket, "Maybe we should all take a nap." Abby gets up and lays next to Bucky on her tummy. You settle next to her, rubbing & patting her back. She's facing Bucky but after a few minutes you look at him and mouth "Is she sleeping?" He nods.

"I'm sorry she came to you like that."

"It's ok." He rolls over onto his back, looking up at the sky.

"You were going to be a sucker and cave."

Bucky chuckles, rubbing his chest, "I would have. I'd give anything for her not to look at me like that."

"My baby isn't stupid. She knew who the weakest link was," you quietly laugh. Bucky grabs a handful of grass and tossed it at you.

"You're a good mom. It doesn't look easy, but you make it look effortless." Bucky sees a tear slip from the corner of you eye, disappearing into your hairline. "Doll?"

You turn, giving him a sad smile. "Thank you. Half the time I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so scared of messing up with her and having her grow up to hate me."

Bucky jumps up & pulls you to your feet so he can hold you. "You know she didn't mean what she said. She was angry." Music from the stage is playing and he sways back & forth with you. You get in a good little cry, disguised as dancing. "She's so lucky to have you as her mom. And she adores you! You've raised a happy child."

"Except at nap time."

"Today is a one off."

Raising on tip-toe, you kiss his cheek, "Thanks, Buck."

*******

While Abby sleeps, you and Bucky enjoy a couple dances. He runs away to grab you ice cream sandwiches, saying you earned it. You both finish quickly in case Abby wakes up. It's your little secret. Natasha and Steve drop by saying they'll stay with Abby if you and Bucky wanted to enjoy the fairgrounds together. You're unsure about leaving Abby. "Doll, she's safer than anyone here. She's got Captain America and Black Widow watching over her. 30 minutes and we'll come back." Bucky grabs your hand and you let him lead you away.

You return to the midway games and challenge each other to, basketball, water guns, bean bag toss, shooting gallery, and anything you could find to compete against him. You collected your tickets so you could return with Abby to redeem them later.

Bucky picks out a pair of fairy wings for Abby. "Are you serious?"

"Does she already have a pair of wings?"

"No, but..."

"Think of how cute she'll look when she rides her unicorn later. Oh, were you going to get her wings?"

Laughing, "I didn't win that many tickets. I was going to let her choose new story books."

He wraps his arm around your neck bringing you in for a kiss. "See, perfect."

*****

Abby woke up from her nap so excited to see everyone there. Steve had gotten her some "banoons" which she loves so much. And then Bucky showed her her fairy wings and she went crazy. She had to put it on immediately! Poor Steve got one-upped again.

Throughout the afternoon, their picnic got bigger. Clint and his family joined in. Tony, Pepper and Morgan visited. Abby and Morgan became fast friends. They played in the jumper house, and rode the mini train together. They sat through getting their face painted, turning them into 2 little kittens.

After dinner, Abby wanted a dance party so you danced with your baby. Thankful this time she didn't give you instructions on how to "shake it" like before. Your little ringleader got everyone dancing. One of her favorite songs comes on and she tries to get Bucky to sing it with her but he doesn't know it . She only likes singing the chorus.

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e

You shake your head at your 3 year old Swifty shaking her bottom so her dress swishes. She smiles up at you with so much joy. No one is going to love her like you do. She's your world.

The fireworks are about to start. Abby has only seen them on videos and TV. Pepper gave you an extra pair of earplugs for Abby. She oohs and ahhhs along with everybody else. Bucky puts her on his shoulders so she could be closer to them. She wanted to catch the sparkles in her hands.

You make you way back the the Residence. Abby is chatting non-stop about everything that happened today. It was a struggle to get her to wash the face paint off. You blamed it on Bucky. You told her that if she got his pillows all dirty he might not invite them back. She quickly consented to scrubbing her face.

Bucky offered to read her a story while you showered. When you got out of the bathroom, Abby was sound asleep. "She didn't even make it 5 pages in." You trade spots while he cleans up.

He leaves the bathroom with his wet hair, flopped over his forehead still looking handsome as ever. He sits on the couch, pulling you to straddle his lap. Your lips immediately seek his. His hands on your hips bringing you flushed against him. A soft moan escapes you both. His tongue glides across your lower lip seeking entrance. Which you eagerly grant. Your fingers threading through his hair at the nape of his neck. Your tongue teases his and his fingers creep under your shirt palming your breasts.

"Mama?!"

Bucky tosses you off him and into the corner of the couch. You laugh at his panicked expression and surprised at his strength. "Yes, baby?" You get up and go to Bucky's room. Abby's sitting up in the middle of the bed.

"This not my bed."

"We're spending the night a Bucky's house, remember?"

"Can yous sleeps wit me?" Reaching out with grabby hands. Sighing, "Of course."

Bucky tucks you both in, and drops kisses on you. "We'll figure something out," he whispers in your ear. You smile and nod, pulling Abby against you as she tries to sleep.

Uncle Steve

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @ozwriterchick @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05

[annie-writesstuff]

Come here, kitty, kitty! - Sylus (Part 2)

Summary: The curse of the Evol cats wears off. Majority of it, at least. Sylus finds himself in his 'human' form. However, your reaction is not what he expected. He thinks you're one of the most interesting persons he has ever met.

Warnings: None. Fluff. I really think Sylus is a green flag. Man is guarded, but when he opens up he's a softie. Tall, dark and handsome lol. He is whipped. It turned kinda angsty (sowwy). Slight - perhaps - spoiler/theory about his past if you squint.

Also, thank you to everyone who read part one! I am truly happy that so many of you enjoyed it!

And thank you to the Anon that messaged me! I am truly happy you loved the story! Thank you!

You can read PART 1 here!

The sun filters through your broken blinds. You scrunch your nose, eyelids fluttering until they fully open. Your [e/c] eyes meet your old wooden ceiling. A yawn leaves your lips as you stretch.

"Good morning."

"Morning!" You chirp reflexively, yawning once again.

Wait.

Slowly, you turn your head.

Sylus smirks, wondering if your half asleep brain has finally caught up on what is going on.

"Um..." You stutter, tugging the blanket closer to you. "Hi..?"

The smirk disappears from his face at your tame reaction. Every time he thinks he's got you figured out, you surprise him.

You should've been screaming, trying to get away from him, hurling objects in his direction.

Instead you're looking at him with more curiosity than shock.

"Red?"

He meets your eyes, and nods. "You don't seem surprised."

"I am!" You assure. "It's just... I don't know how to react. I mean... You looked so familiar. And when I looked into your eyes... I realized you were my little kitty."

"Your little kitty?"

A little flustered, you hurry to correct yourself. "I mean... the... the kitty..."

Rising his hand, he stops you. "Now, I do not like owing people. But you took me in and fed me. So thank you, kitten. Name your price."

Eh? A bit flabbergasted, you stare at him. "P... price?"

"Yes."

Honestly, you just want one thing. "Can I pet your ears?"

Pet his ears... is that what you want? Well, who is he to deny such request?

Rather than giving his verbal approval, Sylus leans down, so that you can reach the twitching ears atop his head.

He is a bit uneasy when your hand first makes contact with one of his ears, but he realizes that, just like yesterday, you're being careful and mindful. His ears are sensitive, but the way you're caressing them feels tolerable nice.

"You're a cute big cat." You smile, switching your attention to his other ear.

A tiny gasp leaves your lips as he leans into your touch, a lot more instinctively than consciously.

"If you tell anyone about this, there will be consequences."

You can't help but giggle, solemnly nodding. "Nobody will know."

He nodded, satisfied, and once you have had your fill, he moves away.

"Can I have your name?"

Normally, he wouldn't reveal his identity. However, because he is almost one hundred percent sure you don't know who he is, he complies.

"Sylus."

"How can I get you back home, Sylus?"

"I'd need to borrow your phone, kitten."

You nod, and without an ounce of hesitation, hand him your device, which had charged during the night.

Sylus uses the special code from the unknown number to contact the twins, which soon reply that they will be on their way shortly.

They don't press for any answers when he asks them to bring him a change of clothes.

Good. He is not in the mood to be answering anything.

At around an hour later, he has changed into his suit, and he walks out of your small bathroom, buttoning his dress shirt at the wrist.

"Thank you again for your... hospitality." He reiterates.

You nod, offering some water bottles to the masked individuals that came to pick up the 'boss', as they've called him.

"I hope to see you again, Sylus." You say softly, walking him to the door.

The taller male hesitates for one second, before looking down at you. "I look forward to it, kitten." He says.

This isn't going to be the last time you see him.

He's going to make sure of it.

Once he is back in his penthouse on N109 zone, Sylus can't help but feel bored.

His eyes darken as Mephisto updates him on your whereabouts. He clicks his tongue, expertly maneuvering a golden bullet with his fingers.

Money and power can give him anything he wants.

Except that the one thing he wants is priceless.

His Evol turns to dust the bullet in his hand as he decides his course of action.

Sylus has always found humans interesting, but you... are a complete enigma.

He wants to know every little detail. What makes you smile, what makes you sad. What ticks you, what excites you.

He wants things to go organically. The two of you have a bond, already, and he would never force you into anything, but he's quite sure that you're also thinking about him.

Fate... is cruel.

But it is wise.

You have found each other, and he firmly belives there is a reason why.

Maybe in this life, there is a hope for happiness for him.

[planetpiastri]

pairing: logan sargeant x fem!reader [no faceclaim, reader is faceless] summary: when alex's childhood friend makes an appearance on his instagram, logan is instantly smitten, but the universe insists on keeping them only as a missed connection, and alex isn't helping matters. notes: the long awaited part three! i'm currently giving all my fics a facelift, but the guilt about this update has been eating away at me, so here you guys go<3 i've decided to stop living in denial and just admit this is a full series now so here comes the (brief) angst era! [series masterlist]

liked by lilymhe, georgerussell63, and 154,329 others

alex_albon winter break, you were fun 🫡 see you next year!

view all 2,876 comments

username1 try not to say parents challenge level impossible (failed)

lilymhe he stole that car

alex_albon you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!!

username2 looking good albono! excited to see you scoring points soon!

williamsracing Nice hat! :D

username3 guys can i confess something.... i miss yn :(

username4 you guys say this under all of his posts. obviously something happened and they don't post each other anymore for a reason, respect their space and stop bringing this up.

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, and 71,823 others

williamsracing the boys are back and so are we 👀

view all 3,012 comments

username5 RRRAAHHH I SMELL DOUBLE POINTS

username6 the new suits are AWESOME, the boys are gonna kill it this season!!!!!

alex_albon who approved that corny ass caption

logansargeant Me alex_albon i'm gonna steal your tires

username7 even if yn has vanished off the face of the earth at least we can thank her for bringing the williams boys closer together so that we get to see them goofing off in the comments 😔

username8 yeah but it's all for show like they don't hang out off track anymore... landonorris oh are we just saying things in the comments? i wanna join!! george sleeps with a teddy bear georgerussell63 Don't drag me into this wtf alex_albon it's true, he does

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 71,013 others

logansargeant Some bits and bobs from the break

view all 2,789 comments

username9 what kind of whack british caption is that

username10 maybe the rumors about him and alex not hanging out were wrong, maybe they're hanging out TOO MUCH actually...

alex_albon i have taught you well, young padawan

username11 omg logan and oscar content we're soooo back

williamsracing Looking energized, Sarge!

username12 the fact that we never got a hard launch for logan and yn so we'll never know if they actually got together is my roman empire

username13 no fr!! they were flirting and bantering all over the place and then suddenly BOOM! she just disappears like wtf happenedddd username14 you guys talking abt a possible situationship not happening vs twenty years of friendship between alex and yn that's gone... have some priorities username15 hi just popping in to say you guys are weird af for speculating like this under his winter break dump 💀 move tf on

logansargeant

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, and 68,578 others

logansargeant Quick trip back over the pond before locking in 👊 bring it on season ✌️

view all 2,549 comments

username16 wait did we miss a step

alex_albon that does not look like sim work

logansargeant Are you my dad or something? Get a life alex_albon DAMN

username17 um? um?? the last picture??? um??????

georgerussell63 What

logansargeant Who? georgerussell63 ?? logansargeant Asked

username18 please be a soft launch with that girl from the afterparty please please please please please

oscarpiastri Interesting.

username19 OSCAR WHAT DO YOU KNOW

williamsracing

liked by ynusername, logansargeant, and 78,321 others

williamsracing Good times in Bahrain! See you next year, Sakhir 😉

view all 3,253 comments

username20 WHAT was that strategy guys

alex_albon "good times" literally where that was nothing but pain

williamsracing ☹️👉👈 we're sowwy awex alex_albon ew wtf don't say that to me

username21 guys? yn liked? she's alive?

username22 JUSTICE FOR LOGAN'S STEERING WHEEL

tagging: @sticksdoesart @hiireadstuff @minkyungseokie @thatoneembarrasingmoment @croissantbakerylws @dear-fifi @imjustme-n @kn1n3 @captainfrisbee @ssrcsm @rhythmstars @urfavnoirette

if you want to be tagged in future parts, fill out this form

[bandgie]

The Move-In | Ep. 1

MASTERLIST | KINK: THROATFUCKING

🗝 Cheap rent seems great until you're discovering bugs, dirty water, and learning about the strange disappearances that seem to take place at the apartments. Whatever, at least you have the bed to break into it.

5.1k words

warnings! MDNI18+, fem!reader, PIV, no protection, creampie, facefucking/throatfucking, tit play, cum play, cum swapping, 3some, 'daddy' use, slight asphyxiation, reader called bitch a few times, kinda long sowwy

notes! so yayyy this is the first fic of the halloween event! there's gonna be world-building and info dumping in this ep, so it's gonna be a little long. thank you <3

Why the owners decided to paint it pink is a mystery. The color doesn’t match the surroundings in the slightest. Flowers and grass seem to brown and the air has a permanent chill that makes you snuggle into your sweater. But the sky, which you’re so used to seeing bright and blue, is a depressing gray.

As the car pulls into the driveway, you can see the paint chipping. Your nose scrunches as though you’ve smelled something foul. “This house is…old.”

“It’s not a house.” Chan puts the car in park. “They’re apartments. But yeah, the owner said it’s almost 200 years old.”

Changbin squirms in the passenger seat. You can see his eyes darting from the house to the dead plants from the review window. “Fuck. There’s gotta be ghosts in there.”

Despite the goosebumps you get from the thought, you laugh. “Maybe they were keeping the house warm for us.”

Chan snickers at Changbin’s cries. He kills the engine and unlocks the doors while Changbin’s worries die in the wind. You’re still giggling when you get out, hoping the uneasiness will wither away soon. But as you stand before the apartments, small and cold, you feel…powerless.

Almost like something much larger lurks between the floorboards.

You didn’t even hear Chan’s footsteps. The crunch of the dead leaves goes unheard before he finally says, “Creepy as shit, huh?”

He laughs when you jump. The dimples on his cheeks deepen, “Are you really that freaked out?”

Lying isn’t even possible. You can feel your heart thudding in your chest and your cheeks heat up from the burst of adrenaline Chan caused you. “Living in an apartment that looks like it’ll collapse any second on a haunted hill? I think that would scare anyone.”

“You really believe that haunted bullshit?”

“It’s not bullshit.” You narrow your eyes at him. “Those people really did go missing. No bodies, no signs of force, nothing. Just, poof, into thin air. Like they never existed.”

“Yah! Stop it!” Changbin covers his ears. He still hasn’t left the car’s side. “I don’t wanna hear it again!”

You turn and give him an apologetic look, “Sorry.” But Chan is already groaning. “You told him?”

“I didn’t think he’d get that scared.” You put your hands up in defense, but truthfully, you knew. Seeing Changbin’s wide eyes and fearful babbling would make Chan’s reprimands worth it.

“Changbin is scared of everything! He didn’t wanna move here after seeing the pictures. Just the pictures.” Despite his huffing, Chan can’t hide his grin. “You know he’s gonna want to sleep in your bed tonight, right?”

You raise an eyebrow. Living with two men who happen to be your best friends, that’s more than a common occurrence. “Someone sounds jealous.”

Chan pokes his tongue through his cheek, a gesture he does when he’s flustered and excited. He shrugs, “No comment.”

The sound of a running engine makes you two turn. Changbin jumps and hurries to your side, clutching onto your arm as if you have half the muscles he does. You three spot the trucking climbing the driveway within seconds.

“The movers are here.” Chan takes a few steps forward. “Bin, let's help them unload, yeah?”

He groans. Changbin lays his head on your shoulder and looks up at you prettily, batting his eyelashes. “You gonna be okay without me?”

You giggle. “I should be asking you that. Go get to work big boy. I’ll explore the house.”

“The apartment.”

“The apartment.” You repeat, glancing at Chan to roll your eyes. “Same shit. Have fun.”

They say a small ‘you too’ and walk to the now parked truck, backs turned. You spin on your heel, giving a long look to The Pink Palace in front. The house looms over as if daring you to enter alone. The best response you can come up with is to squint, turn your chin up, and think, I’m not scared.

But goosebumps arise when the floorboards creak and the door hinges squeak with laughter. You remind yourself more than once that living here will save your wallet. Looking for a job straight out of college is nearly impossible. You were lucky enough to live with Chan and Changbin, but they were struggling themselves as upcoming music producers.

It seemed like a no-brainer to move out of the city and get someplace cheap. When Chan found the perfect place, you heard alarms go off hearing the low price.

And of course, you had to do some of your own research.

Five men in the span of 50 years were reported missing while living here. Not just runaways or kidnapped, but gone. All their belongings were left, no footsteps or doors were found unlocked, and the owner coincidently decided to close off the top and bottom levels of the apartments.

Exactly where the missing people once lived.

Maybe they were still there. Still here. Their bodies becoming nothing more than skin-on-bones for the mice to feast upon.

Or what if they escaped, but lived in the walls? Old and wrinkled men who could never be a part of civilization again. What if you woke up in the middle of the night and looked through the crack of your closet to see-

Stop. Stopstopstop. You’re freaking yourself out. You can’t even focus on the obnoxiously large rooms and spiraling staircase with your thoughts turning horrid. It’d be better to do something productive while your roommates and the movers unload.

You pull your phone out and open the notes app, quickly creating an empty note and titling it ‘Windows and Doors.’

-

“Okay, so there’s a total of 21 windows in this apartment alone. Isn’t that insane?”

Chan hums, nodding mindlessly while helping Changbin move the fridge inside. Changbin doesn’t even respond. His focus is on making sure his clammy hands don't let the appliance slip.

“I mean they look cool. But damn, someone could be peeking in at any time. We need to buy curtains.”

The veins on your friend’s neck look like they might burst. Chan lets out a drawled moan when the refrigerator gently sets on the floor. He huffs and groans, turning up to the ceiling in an attempt to catch his breath. Changbin doesn’t look any better. He leans on the fridge and pants.

“My arms are dead.”

“Oh shit. Did you guys need help?” It dawns on you that yapping is the last thing they want to hear. The sun is nearly down now and despite the boxers being scattered, at least everything is inside the apartment.

Changbin shakes his head. “No, this is the last of it. We don’t want your pretty hands getting dirty.”

You roll your eyes, a small grin on your lips. “Whatever. I’ll help unpack tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” Chan dusts his hands on his pants. “But uh, 20 windows?”

“Twenty-one. And 14 doors. There’s a tiny one in the living room, but it doesn’t open. So technically it’s 13.” You recall the crawl space covered by wallpaper. It was barely big enough for you to fit in, but it piqued your interest anyway. “It needs a key.”

Chan nods, but the distant look in his eyes tells you he isn’t listening. Instead, he looks around aimlessly. “I could have sworn I put my water bottle somewhere.”

“Ah,” Changbin snaps his fingers. “I put it in the cupboards. Hang on.” He walks to the center of the kitchen, pulling the cabinets and frames open until he finds what he needs. But when his head cocks to the side and his lips purse, you think it’s something else.

“Yah, didn’t you say you needed a key or something?” 

He tosses a long, black object in the air for you to catch, which you surprisingly do. Changbin keeps rummages for the water bottle as you inspect the key.

It’s heavier than you expected, pure metal you think. The handle, though, is what catches your attention most. A black button acts as the bow, four dots in the shape of a diamond.

“Thanks, man.” Chan’s voice brings you to attention. He nods to you, “Is that the key you were talking about?”

You watch as he downs the drink. Chan’s throat bobs with each gulp, sweat dripping down his neck that disappears under the black material of his shirt. He hands the bottle to Changbin who does the same thing, the only difference being that droplets miss his mouth and a pink tongue swipes the water from his wet lips.

When was the last time you three boned?

“Y-yeah. I think so, I mean. Only one way to find out.”

The men follow you to the living room, lunging over boxers and planning how to set up the room while you ignore the painting of the sad boy and his fallen ice cream above the fireplace. The artwork doesn’t sit right with you.

When you bend down to get leveled with the blocked door, Changbin whistles. “Nice ass.”

Your face heats up and Chan laughs at your playful scowl. Changbin’s lips are turned upside down and as endearing as he looks, you’re the one to sour his mood.

“When I open this door, I hope the monster on the other side eats you first.”

Now it’s your turn to laugh when his gleeful expression turns worried. His anxious rambling only increases when you shove the key through the wallpaper. You turn it until you hear a certain click. Prying it open is easy enough, but you’re disappointed to see brownish-red filling your vision.

“Bricks? That’s it?”

Changbin visibly sighs in relief. He looks at Chan who seems somewhat disappointed. Still, it’s nothing compared to you who was exploring the house for what seemed like hours.

“They probably boarded it up once they sectioned off the house. It must have led to the lower level.” Chan reasons. “It’s better this way. There might be mice down there or something.”

Changbin swears. “Now you guys are fucking with me on purpose. How do you want me to sleep in a place that’s haunted and has mice?”

You fully expect Chan to laugh or shrug him off, but he groans with annoyance. “Shit. I totally forgot about the bed frames. We’re gonna have to sleep on mattresses before we can set them up.”

His irritation rolls off in waves. You can only imagine how he feels, taking the responsibility to find a place to live, and when he does, all his roommates do is complain. Then, driving to the outskirts of a dull town and unloading for hours only to sleep on the floor.

You stand, looping your arm around his waist and Changbin’s. “It’s okay! We can have a sleepover tonight. Let’s stress about it in the morning.”

Chan gives you an appreciative smile, wrapping his arm around your torso just like Changbin is doing now. They always feel like they complete you. Their warmth, their hands, their tender gaze - it’s all a part of you now.

You pull from their grip when their hands start roaming and run down the hall for the stairs. You take your shirt off in haste to leave it on the bottom step. “Race ‘ya to the room!”

-

Maybe it would have been better if you knew what room you were going to, but the one furthest down the hall called to you. You could hear the boys ruffling downstairs, thuds and bumps told you they were not far behind.

And when you found the room, a built-in closet on the left and a window seat in the center, you mentally called dibs. A bare mattress was in the middle and you unclasped the last article of clothing to toss it on the floor.

There was barely enough time to lay on the bed when they burst through the door. Changbin came into view first, his pupils blown and lips wet like he was drooling the entire time he ran.

“Ha! I won!”

“He cheated!” Chan points an accusatory finger at his rival. “He pushed me into the wall!”

Their banter should make you laugh, but you’re distracted to see them completely naked. They must have copied you and thrown their clothes around the house during the chase. Changbin’s pecs are full and flushed, his tummy soft and expanding with each heavy inhale and playful shout. Chan’s ears are tinted with pink to match his broad chest. Deep lines etch into his stomach with every laugh and exhale.

But their cocks, one thicker and the other longer, both dribble at the tip.

Just the sight of them makes your cunt clench. You unashamedly widen your legs and use a thumb to slide against your folds. “Well…I didn’t say anything about not cheating.” The men stop their bickering when they catch you. All attention zooms in on how your digit flicks your clit, dipping lower to gather the leaks of arousal to smear across.

“So I guess we have a winner.”

Changbin nearly trips over his own feet getting to you. The eagerness in his eyes and the swelling of his cock, they’re all proof that it has been a long time since you three played.

Rather than diving into your pussy like he normally would, Changbin nearly touches his nose with yours. His eyes bat innocently, gleam hopefully, and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. Ah. You know what he’s asking for.

“You can be rough, baby. I won’t break.”

The real wonder is what he’ll be rough with. Changbin is all too excited when climbs onto the mattress and beckons Chan over. You feel sturdy fingers dig into your side, and although you have no idea what Changbin wants to play with, Chan seems to know.

He holds you while Changbin rests his back against the wall, his toes wiggling with anticipation. You can already see his cock leaking and pooling pre-cum on his pubes. Salvia gathers in your mouth and you swallow thickly.

You hope it’s what you’re thinking.

Chan doesn’t have to move you too much to get your mouth hovering over Changbin’s cock. You’re already aching to feel it in your throat that he doesn’t have to push you down. The only thing he has to do is bunch your hair into his fist to make sure no strands get in your way. 

A pretty vein runs along the side of Changbin’s cock that you follow with your tongue. You follow it to his tip, gently wrapping around it with your soft lips and hollowing your cheeks to suck. You can taste the sweat from earlier in the day when you swirl your tongue. His natural musk makes your mouth salivate more as if you aren’t already slobbering.

You’re used to him giving you time to adjust. The thickness always makes the sides of your mouth stretch. Though it feels almost uncomfortable, you can’t help but like the drool that leaks from your mouth every time you widen your jaw.

Another inch makes its way past your lips before Chan’s hand in your hair tightens and shoves you down.

Changbin’s tip presses against your throat, the salty taste much more prominent. His hair touches your nose and before you even think about how it tickles, Chan pulls you up just before it slips out to bring you back down again.

“Ohhh. Like that! Just like that. Binnie likes it.” He sounds adorable. Like you aren’t getting your throat fucked with someone else controlling the pace.

Chan doesn’t ease up at all. Maybe it’s Changbin’s moans and babbling praises that egg him on, but the pressure on your scalp turns into pleasure. The yanks and tugs go straight to your core. Chan must be able to see how your cunt starts to drool, but he doesn’t say a peep.

You have to lay your tongue flat on your bottom teeth so they don't accidentally graze Changbin. You’re trying your best to keep your jaw loose while managing to suck, but the need for air burns your chest.

“Harder. Suck me harder, baby.”

But you can’t. You’re trying to ignore the way your head fuzzies from lack of oxygen and darkness surrounds your sight, but you can only manage for so long. Your nails dig into Changbin’s thighs painfully instead.

He nods quickly. “Up.”

Chan pulls you from his cock fully. A string of saliva keeps you connected, but your coughs and gasps break it easily. Tears blur your vision and a few slip out, but Changbin is already wiping them.

“Too much?” Chan sounds cold. “We just started.”

“I just,” you blink rapidly. “I just need a second.”

But Changbin doesn’t nod understandingly. He doesn’t even give you a sympathetic pout like he always does. He looks to Chan who gently guides you back down, using his free hand to arch your back and raise your hips in the air.

You’ve taken enough breaths. Changbin slips his thumb between your mouth and pulls your jaw open. You obey immediately, sucking on his digit so Chan can get on his knees and find his place behind you.

“You won’t break.” His fingers lead you to his cock again and Chan makes sure to keep a good grip on your hair. “Binnie will be careful, hm? Just open your mouth for me.”

How can you not when the sight of Changbin’s twitching cock is right in front of you? How could you possibly attempt to be quiet when Chan teases his cock between your folds. The head slides from your hole to your clit. The shape of his tip makes you twitch every time it rubs over your nerves. 

“God, you’re so wet.” Chan’s eyes lock on your cunt and the pucker of your ass. “Nasty bitch, huh? Getting all wet from choking on dick.”

And you’re about to gush again when Changbin slides his cock between your lips. Now it’s him who keeps your hair from your face while Chan bobs your head. With how quickly he makes you swallow Changbin, he doesn’t need to rock his hips for friction. Your ass bounces back every time your head comes up only to slide back down.

Changbin whines. He can’t help but buck his hips until you gag. “S-see? You can do it. Making Binnie feel so good.”

You remember to suck this time. Chan slows your head so he can line up his cock, grabbing the shaft and pushing through.

He’s usually good at multitasking, but slipping into your walls for the first time in a while has him stopping your head altogether. Chan moans, pulling out slightly before going in a few more inches. The stretch makes your eyes unfocus and your tongue goes slack from the pressure.

“Fuuuck.” His groans send shivers down your skin and Changbin’s thighs. “I missed this pussy.”

They move harmoniously opposite. One goes in while the other goes out, forcing you to be full in either hole. Rocking forward makes you gag on Changbin’s cock while rocking back makes you clench around Chan’s. You think they might start fighting over who you should squeeze more and how you should bounce between the two, but they quickly find a resolution. 

“Ah! Fuck her harder, Channie! I’mma cum if she keeps sucking me like this.”

He replies with a grunt. Chan’s fingers leave your bruised ass to rest on either side of Changbin’s legs. He leans over you, forcing your ass even higher with his tip pressing into your cervix.

You squeal with a mouth full of cock.

“Yes! Perfect! Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her…”

“If I fuck her any harder, I’ll cum.” But Chan pounds his hips roughly anyway. Now there truly is no escape from them. Your nose is digging into Changbin’s tummy and Chan is mounting you like an animal.

It feels like they’ll never let you leave.

Had Changbin’s cock been longer, you would be needing air every few seconds. You’re more than thankful for his short cock now so that the only thing you worry about is how much drool you feel leaking off your chin and how sore the corners of your lips will be after.

Still, being stretched is a small price to pay to be filled.

The sounds of sex echo in the empty room. Your pussy gushes every time Chan thrusts and your gargle each time Changbin manages to lift your head.

Not that he can anymore. He’s perfectly content with your convulsing throat and harsh sucks. His thick fingers keep your hair pulled back so he can see how pretty your tears look. But when you look up at him with your waterline red and wet, his eyes roll back.

“Oh my god. Keep looking at me. Fuck yes! ‘m so sorry baby. You look so pretty crying and Channie’s fucking you so good and-” His eyes cross. His cock pulses once, twice in your mouth before it spurts.

It’s like your entire body glitches. There’s no escaping how his cum shoots down your throat and you wetly cough. Your hands squeeze his thighs in silent pleas, but Changbin’s eyes are closed and his head throws back. His hips slightly thrust to ride out his high.

Chan is the one who gives you freedom. He quickly straightens himself and yanks you by the hair upwards. It's not strings of spit that keep you bound to Changbin like before, but cum. Even with your sobs and moans, the threads refuse to break. The ones that surprisingly do slap onto your breasts messily.

On your knees with Chan, you lean your head back on his shoulder. He still has a fistful of your hair, but he uses the grip on your waist to keep fucking into you.

“So pretty,” he mumbles. You laugh weakly because you know he must be lying. Your lips are fat and bruised, soaked in white arousal with tears streaming down your face. Yet, Chan leans to plant a kiss anyway.

It’s just as nasty as you’d expect. It’s teeth. It’s tongue. It’s spit. You have no choice but to share Changbin’s cum when he shoves his tongue down your throat. The kiss makes you lose your breath, but it doesn’t feel suffocating. Chan trails his hand from your hip to your clit and you whimper in his mouth.

“Aww,” Changbin pouts somewhere in the distance. “Binnie wants some too.”

You reach around Chan to grab onto his ass. The softness and firmness makes it the perfect leverage for you to hold onto while he drives in.

Changbin crawls on his knees. The mattress dips and though you can’t see, you assume he’s waiting for Chan to pass your lips to him. But you’re proven wrong when you feel a mouth latch onto your nipple. The heat of his tongue makes your clit jolt in Chan’s fingers, and Chan doesn’t stop you from looking down at your chest.

His curls are out of control. Changbin’s hair shines in the moonlight beautifully. His head dips lower so he can swipe his dripping cum into his mouth, moving it to your peaked breasts so he can play with it there. 

With your most sensitive parts being touched, it’s hard not to feel warmth pooling in your belly. Your chest burns with pleasure. The scratchy moans and mewls that leave your lips tell the men that you’re close.

“Oh, fuck yeah. Keep squeezing my dick like that.” Chan leans back just enough to thrust deeper. Your breasts jiggle in Changbin’s mouth, but he manages to keep his pretty lips wrapped around your nipple. “I’ll cum in your pussy, just how you want it.”

You know he won’t last much longer, but neither will you. Chan has been fucking you earnestly for what feels like forever. You imagine his cum would keep you full for days with how long he’s been holding out.

Changbin’s teeth tug on your bud harshly. The dull pain sparks into pleasure and you whine. “Ngh! I want it, I want it. Fuck. Don’t stop. Daddy, please don’t stop.”

You feel Changbin giggling with your nipple in his mouth, but you can hardly pay a mind to it. Chan’s chest vibrating with a snarl brings your orgasm much closer. It almost hurts with how his thighs smack your ass, but he rubs your clit just right until you’re seeing stars. 

And when he cums with you, your stomach feels on fire. Chan’s cock throbs as your walls milk him. The mixture of arousals makes your cunt flood before dripping out and down his length. 

Though your legs are tired, you don’t want to move from his warmth just yet. The fluttering of your cunt should tell Chan that, but he pulls out anyway to pass you to the impatient man in front.

Changbin is like a pillow when you grasp onto him. He’s warm and sticky on your skin. You try to nuzzle into his chest but Changbin seems to have other plans. He lays you on your back and props your knees up so they can watch Chan’s cum ooze with your thighs apart.

The release drips out seconds later. The pearly white compliments your skin almost elegantly and you watch how they gape as though you’re the finest painting in the world.

“Got all that cum in you just like you wanted.” “Fuck yeah you did.” “What do you say, baby?” “What do you saaayy?”

You gleam with bashfulness. Even with your puffy clit and gaping pussy on display, your friends manage to make you burn with embarrassment.

“Thank you, daddy.” You don’t have to specify which one. They are more than happy to share the role, one being stricter while the other is only somewhat gentler and then switching. It seems they especially like this encounter, noting the dimples on Chan’s cheeks and Changbin’s cooing.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? Bin made a mess on your tits.” Chan stands to go searching for a rag, but Changbin nuzzles between your thighs. You lay your legs on his broad shoulders.

“With a shirt?” Changbin looks at you with wide eyes. “Wouldn’t you want my mouth instead?”

You would. You would do anything for his kisses, but your cunt is so sore and sensitive that you’re not sure if you would be able to feel it. “It hurts, Binnie.”

“I can kiss it better.” But Chan is already pulling him by the ear. Changbin howls in mock pain and flops against your hip instead.

“Yah! That wasn’t very nice, Daddy!” 

Chan shakes his head, but you two can see him blush. “We have a lot to unpack tomorrow. We should get some rest so we can wake up bright and early. Come on.” He tosses a random shirt to Changbin who catches it with grumbles. He gently places the cloth between your legs and wipes, trying his best to ignore how your hips buck and throat whines from sensitivity.

It’s not the best clean-up, but it’s good enough. Chan and Changbin squeeze you between them and yawn. You blink at Changbin who’s already grinning looking at you as though he’s the happiest boy alive.

“You guys think we scared the ghost with all that noise?”

Chan barks with laughter, his chest bumping your back. Changbin loses his smile and gets up to wiggle between you and Chan. “Move! I’m sleeping in the middle!”

You let him push you out of the way so he can snuggle in the center. Chan groans but wraps his arms around Changbin anyway, looking at you with annoyance and fondness.

“I hope the ghosts come after you tonight.”

-

It feels like a hangover when you wake up. Your eyes take forever to adjust in the dark room, the only light being the moon. 

Chan and Changbin are still holding each other, chest to back with their arms reaching towards you like you were the tiniest spoon. They look so endearing like this, eyes shut with snores you’re sure are the reason you woke up in the first place. You gently brush their curls from their face, faintly smiling when your head pounds again.

Water. You need water. 

The three of you are usually good with replenishing each other after an intense scene, but everyone was beyond tired from the move. So it’s you who has to stand, put on a shirt you hope isn’t the stained one, and wobble to the kitchen for a glass.

You try not to think about how scary the empty house is. How the stairs creak underneath with each step or how your own shadow frightens you. But the worst are the chills crawling up your spine. That sense that no matter how fast you walk or how concealed you are in the dark…

Something’s there. 

Quietly, you flick on the kitchen lights. You have to rummage through the moving boxes and newspaper-wrapped dishes to find a cup. 

Get water. Run upstairs. Go to sleep. You think that repeating those three steps will help lessen the fear in your bones, but a squeak from behind makes you yelp anyway.

So you were being watched.

By mice.

Fuck.

It scurries away before you have a chance to get anything more than a glimpse. All you have to follow is a white tail slithering its way to the living room. If you can find where it lives, you and the guys will have a solid chance at exterminating them right from the source.

But when it heads for the little door you opened hours ago, you curse out loud.

“Shit!”

It's your fault. You let your foolish curiosity get the better of you and now all the little tricks you played on Changbin are biting you in the ass. You feel angry and hopeless when the mouse slips through the little crevice and disappears.

The only thing you can do is prepare yourself. You kneel on the hard floor and reach a hand through the crack.

But when you open it up, it’s not mice you’re greeted with. A gust of wind dances on your face, causing your hair to flow back. The air makes you blink furiously and recoil, but you can make out the purple and blue tunnel that lengthens the more you open the door. 

To say you’re shocked would be an understatement. The bricks that once blocked the pathway have transformed into a hypnotizing passage that you can’t help but be in awe of from the sight alone.

Logically, you should be horrified. It doesn’t make sense for any of this to happen. This has to be a dream from how numb your body has gone. Your tongue feels too big for your mouth and your legs feel as though they’re jelly. Even then, you have the stupid courage to make them crawl forward.

Something tells you that you won’t be waking up anytime soon.

[raitonsfw]

𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 (𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐) | 𝚔𝚊𝚖𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚘 ꨄ

𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: When you come home with tears running down your face, Choso immediately fills an entire wine glass for you. You had gotten your period that day, on Valentine’s Day of all days, and there was no way he was going to want to do anything with you. But it was quite the opposite actually; the man was practically begging for you to engulf him as soon as you mentioned your predicament.

warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, fem!reader, needy!choso, period sex, blood play/kink, begging, pleading, whimpering (oh my!), riding, sexual intercourse, creampie, hair pulling, grinding, breast play, reader rides choso with a wine glass in their hand, spilling of wine, pet names (baby), choso the blood manipulator alright (ideas for this man practically write themselves) 

a/n: happy valentine's day! wrote this on my period last month and am currently going through the motions again so lucky me! (tmi sowwy) enjoy and here's your 3rd valentine from me! 💌 wc: 2.7k. v-day m.list | m.list

now playing: the red means i love you by madds buckley

divider credit: @hitobaby & @firefly-graphics

“Y/N? Open up, please.” You heard Choso’s quiet rasp through the door and you felt even more tears slip from the corners of your eyes, threatening to ruin your makeup even more. The mascara had poured down your face and you tried your best to wipe it all off, but it had stained a bit and you didn’t care anymore; you just needed it off.

“No.” You managed out as normally as you possibly could but he could hear the broken huffs that came from you. He was confused to say the least, the glass of red liquid in his hand chilling his fingers as he waited for you to tell him what was wrong. You couldn’t offer him an answer though as you panicked throughout the confines of the bathroom, scrubbing off the cursed makeup your period ruined.

It wasn’t the best day be bleeding from your fucking cunt.

You had run past Choso the second you got home, much to his discontent as he welcomed you home with a small murmur before fading away as you disappeared into the bathroom. He had set up a wonderful Valentine’s night in for the both of you, the most expensive wine sitting in the middle of the dining table as you arrived and he took the opportunity to pour more wine into yours without a second thought; hell you might need the whole bottle. 

“I have a glass of wine for you.” He tried to convince you with that, but you didn’t budge from your spot in front of the mirror. You glanced towards the box of tampons that sat against the back of the shelf near the tub, frowning at it. You wished you could flush them down the toilet, but all that would offer you would be cotton waste and a clog with nearly a million girls threatening you from the shadows because those things were fucking expensive.

“Choso, I’m fine.” 

“Please open the door. I want to help you.” He started to knock on it, sending you into a frenzy as you hurried wiping your makeup off. You threw the makeup wipe in the trash; and what stared back at you was a mess and all you wanted to do was hide beneath the sheets and isolated from society for the five wretched days. You were able to get the mascara off, but some of it still smudged underneath your lashes as a reminder that the promised look for the date went awry because of your sobbing. Which brought you to another revelation, your boyfriend.

Choso wasn’t going to want to have sex with you tonight, not when you were bleeding rivers. You had gone over his reaction in your head a thousand times and every single one didn’t end up with a good outcome; especially since it was such a precious day to him, it felt like your worst nightmare had come true.

“Y/N.” 

You sighed heavily, unlocking the door with a quiet tilt and Choso immediately opened it when he heard the click of the lock. You didn’t get to look at him properly as you ran past him, but he had cleaned up considerably nice today; his blood mark cut neatly against the bridge of his nose and his hair, albeit still incredibly messy, sat up like pins in the ponytails he spored them into. The dark circles around his eyes were still prominent in the luminescent light of the bathroom and you felt for him, he must’ve waited for you for a while. 

Then again, he always looked tired to you. 

Choso held out your glass of wine to you, but then faltered a bit as he took a good look at you. Your eyes were rimmed red with blemished tears as you stared back at him, flicking back and forth from the red liquid in the glass and his puzzled face. Instead he sat the wine glass on the accented table next to the bathroom with a tiny exhale and came up behind you with strong arms. He folded them underneath yours, his fingers dancing over the crevices of your tummy and he pulled you close to him. Resting his chin against your shoulder, he rocked you softly with him to the sway of the music that played out in the living room. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Choso whispered into your ear, pressing feathered kisses behind it and you shuddered at the action. “Do I have to kill someone for you?” 

“No, it’s nothing like that.” You gave him a tired laugh, placing your hands on his where they intertwined. His hair tickled the back of your neck as he started to kiss down it towards your shoulder and you tried to pull away. “Choso…”

“Yeah?” He hummed out, a bit muffled by your shoulder and his violet eyes glanced towards the mirror, towards yours and you suddenly felt so exposed as they filled with adoration. You couldn’t see his mouth, your shoulder covered it but you knew he was ready to plant kisses down your back and your waist if you let him– anywhere he could reach within a few minutes he would be worshipping. 

“You were looking forward to a night in, right?” You asked him, one of your hands coming up to pick at his hair sticking up from their confines in the hair tie. 

“Is that not happening now?” Choso straightened up a bit, his mouth pouting into a confused frown. He narrowed his eyes a bit, trying to figure out exactly what happened to you. Out of everything he thought of, he speculated you had a rough day at work and needed some love; which was easily done as he’d be right in between your thighs with his tongue lapping up your cunt, two calloused fingers stuffed within in no time.

“It might need to be changed a bit…” 

“Why’s that?” Now he was worried, his arms squeezing you closer to him, a whine etching his words as he rested his chin against your shoulder again. Choso didn’t know much about human emotions, especially women’s and he’d have to ask Yuji later what it meant when one tries to postpone a date night. He’d probably say that means they don’t like you, but that couldn’t be possible; he knew you liked him, otherwise you would’ve left him already. You wouldn’t have tolerated six months with him if you didn’t in some form or another ‘like’ him.

“I got my period earlier today.”

There was a pause and you felt as though you could hear a pin drop but then there was a bit of shuffling behind you and you observed Choso’s eyes to try and gauge his reaction. You swore you saw them darken, the vibrance of them tinting and he squinted at you slightly before resuming his kisses down your shoulder and you felt his hands trail up towards your chest. Your breasts were sore, swollen and when he lifted them up slightly with his palms, you let out a relieved sigh. They wandered over your peaked nipple, his fingers slicing over it and you felt the heat rush through your cheeks as he tweaked it slightly through your clothing. 

“Choso?” You watched him through the mirror and you saw the blush that had crept up on his face, you knew that flushed look– and the hardened outline of his cock pressing into your backside very well. 

“Fuck baby, that made me hard…” Choso muttered admittedly into your shirt with another whine, purposefully hiding his face so you wouldn’t tease his blush. The slightest thing would turn him on so you weren’t that surprised, though you didn’t quite expect it to be because of the crimson between your legs.

What were you so worried about? It’s Choso, the boy who would become flustered if you so much as kissed his hand while in public, who would nearly fall to his knees when you showed off the lingerie you bought whilst out shopping, who would pant at the sight of your arousal leaking out of you like a faucet; your hormones did you so dirty, letting you believe he wouldn’t get off on a little blood. 

After all, he was a blood manipulator and this was his speciality. 

“That made you hard?” You backed your hips into him slightly, earning a choked gasp from him. “You don’t mind me being on my period? If it bothers you, we can use a cond-”

“No, no condom. Don’t want that, want to feel you.” Choso blurted out and you knew you had him pegged, completely cornering him by the thought of pleasure. You bent over slightly and watched him through the mirror as his entire face turned red, his crotch pressing directly against yours now. 

“What about the blood?” You asked, genuinely concerned that he lost his mind as he started to not so subtly grind against your cunt with a roll of his hips. Choso knocked you slightly over against the edge of the sink, his hands grasping for your hips now, one trailing up your back to bend you further and the other steadying you so he could bury deeper into the warmth. His hand found your hair and you were sure he was going to yank it, but instead he tangled it into the strands and rubbed circles into your scalp like the good boy that he was.

“That’s exactly why I don’t want to use one.” The heat of your cunt made him dizzy and he couldn’t stop thinking about how fucking good it would feel to plunge into you, the blood making it so overbearingly wet that he might bust as soon as he’s bottomed out. God, he was this pussy drunk already? He had his chin tilted up now, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head and you watched with tenacious eyes. He wasn’t even buried in you yet and his tongue was nearly lolling out of his mouth at the thought of you squeezing around him senselessly with an extra lubrication drooling around his cock.

“I want to drink my wine though...” You whined out, perhaps a bit more innocently than you intended.

A short groan came out of him and that’s when his hand gripped at the tendrils of your hair, yanking it upwards with a harsh pull. His arm flexed as he pulled you up towards him, quieting huffs and pants escaping him as he continued grinding against you. Sometimes when he got like this, all hot and bothered and nearly on the verge of devouring you whole, he didn’t know his own strength and you yelped in pain, moresos shock. His lips hovered over the shell of your ear, his hips ceasing their movements and his chest rose and fell against your back.

“Drink it while you ride me then.” He whined into your ear in rushed syllables, his fingers digging into the crevices of your thighs. They crawled towards the front of your mound, dipping lowly into the soft covered flesh there, if only he could fucking reach his hand down your panties… but you hesitantly stopped him before his hands got dirty. “I need you now, right now. Please, Y/N?”

How could you possibly say no to his pleas? 

And there you were five minutes later, with your wine glass balancing delicately on the tips of your fingers as you sunk down onto him as he babbled out begs and whimpers. Your pussy fluttered against the intrusion of his cock and you let out a delicious moan, your head tipping back as he thrusted up inside you greedily. Choso nearly knocked you off of him, your wine almost spilling from the confines of the glass and you glared at him as you ceased his movements. “Cho– you almost made me spill my wine!” 

He faux pouted before continuing to bounce you harshly on his cock, his fingers digging into your flesh and you could barely hold the glass still against your lips; it drenched your breasts and his chest, staining you both a beautiful red. As Choso noticed the deep color, he instantly glanced down at where you two were connected, the blood slicking up his cock so nicely and at the base it glistened with it. He couldn’t fucking see straight at this point, your pussy clenched around him like a vice as he refused to let ride him fully; he was just so desperate. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry– c-can’t stop.” One of his arms came to wrap around you as he sat up on his elbow, his tongue lapping over the stickiness of your chest and he moaned out as he tasted the tartness of it against your skin. His palm laid flat against the middle of your back as he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, teasing lightly. As you looked down at him, you almost came from the sight. Choso’s eyes were closed and you could feel the incessant groans and grunts coming from his mouth, the vibrations surrounding your breast and his eyebrows were furrowed in pleasure with every harsh roll of your hips. 

Deep pleasure shot through your body, every single one of your nerves nearly setting on fire and clutched the wine glass in your hand but you knew you were going to eventually drop it if he kept fucking you like this. You couldn’t bring it to your lips, your mouth had fallen open in small pants and moans and you felt Choso take the glass from you. He quickly set it down on the end table, temporarily popping off of your nipple to do so and you used that to your advantage to pin him down onto the bed again. 

“Baby, baby, please.” He whimpered as you dragged yourself up his cock and slammed back down on it, his hands flying towards the pillow and clutching it. He buried his face into the crook of his arm, trying desperately to muffle the moans that poured out of him as his hips barely kept up with yours. “Please, fuck me, I’m so close–”

With every thrust a drowning squelch filled the room, nothing but your arousal mixing with your blood and his precum, submerged in the intoxicating feeling of what it was like fuck up into the wettest mixture ever; Choso felt the blood dripping down his thighs and the dip of his balls and it spurred him on even more, his orgasm flooding through him and threatening to spill out into you. 

“Baby, can I cum in you–? Can I, please? Fuck, I need to...” Choso whined, frenzied purple eyes peeking out from underneath his arm and you nodded quickly, your own orgasm piling up your spine and you felt him shudder beneath you. You watched in awe as his eyes squeezed shut and his face contorted as his hands found your hips again trying to still you against him. His mouth had dropped open in a pitchy moan and you swore you’ve never been more in love, but here you were watching your man fall apart within minutes because of how good your pussy felt whilst on your period and it made you numb with devotion.

Your orgasm met his a few seconds after, squeezing him tightly in place and you breathed through the ecstasy. Your hands were glued to his chest, convulsing through the pleasure that spread throughout your body and you felt his hands come to grasp at yours in a heated motion. Coming down from your high, you regrettably rolled your hips off of him, a heady groan coming from Choso and you noticed how fucking soaked his dick was with your fluids, your face reddening at the sight. 

You gasped as you also noticed the wine and blood stains splattered against the white sheets you two laid on. “Oh God, Choso…”

“We can get new sheets. Come here.” He breathed out, sitting up fully and leaning towards you needily. His hands pulled you back onto his lap and you squeaked, his dick resting against your thigh and you let him kiss you eagerly. He tasted of fruit, the wine that he laved at earlier, and pure adoration that spilled out of every nook of his curse. 

Yeah, you were an idiot to not believe Choso wouldn’t go nuts over this. He wasn’t going to let something so dreadfully normal, not to mention erotic, ruin his Valentine’s and especially not yours. 

You pulled a whine from him as you bit his bottom lip, earning the promised words you were especially dying to hear. “Round two, baby?”

taglist: @izakyun | @classyempathmongercloud | @rubyparsonx

a/n: wanna get tagged in future writing posts? join my taglist!

[purpdrawsthings]

Are We Still Friends In Every Universe? 💜💙

Of course we are.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Hihi everybody have this low effort edit lmao

This just floated around in my mind during school a few days ago, decided just now to make the vid.

SMG43 AUs are wild man. You can find a whole variety of them in all shapes and sizes 💥

Truly astounding ✨

Srry for the first and second image being low quality after I was not holding my camera properly and I do not want to do a retake

Anyways I'm just boutta yap about the vid because yes and yes.

First image - If you don't know, those two are my versions of SMG4 and 3! They both belong in my Purp's Crew AU. I cannonically make them lovers ofc, they so cute together I love them. Funni 4 thoughts while 3 tries his best to answer the question lmao.

Second image - This is from my Brainwashed AU! An AU where they work under Mr Puzzles as overworked employees 💜 4 is the most tired out of the crew, so he can break down easily. Thankfully, there's 3 to always keep him warm even in the dark. They consider them both as just friends but maybe it's more than that teehee

Third image @michaelscorneroftheinternet @dorriostareyes - The first featured AU in the video! The au belongs to both Micheal and Dorriostareyes =3 you can depict this as either the Change In Script AU or The Fallen! Wasn't really intended to depict two AUs but hey depicting two AUs by the two same people who make it is cool ig. This just shows how complex their relationship is hehe, I love angst.

Fourth image @theartistisme43 - THEMMMMM oh wait COUGH- gotta act professional... I had to add ✨them✨ cuz it's ✨them✨ ofc. We had to take a break from the depressed/angsty ones so have adorable couple. This is just to show that they can love each other in another universe [which was real lmao 💜]

Fifth image @grinnames - Godbox bois 💥 it's them, yes them ✨ guh I love them. Anyways, they're just there to show how they can be not necessarily friends but more or so frenemies.. Very complex bois... Tbh I think they lying /silly /jk anyways uh... Shoot my brain juice is running out AIYSIAHSIHX

Sixth image @jovialoddity - HELP I WAS AT SCHOOL WHEN DOODLING THIS SO I DIDN'T REMEMBER THEIR EXACT DESIGNS GUH. Anywaysssss I see them as being neutral together. No gay bois sadly /silly though I'm not really sure about that one sidhidhsudgdihxi it's not me who made the AU Jovi did so uhhhhh yeah if I got it wrong sowwy =D

Seventh image - Now for the last image, it's the two bois from my Circus Showman AU! Their relationship does go the same like my Purp's Crew AU but since SMG4 changed his direction to focus more on his circus thing 3 thought it was just weird and just didn't feel like joining what 4 was doing. That's where the relationship stopped. But ever since 4 came in back to personally invite him and persuade him, their relationship and gone back and slowly rising as the story continues. Their relationship is progressing much slower than the other AU, but they doin fine together hehe =3

Anyways I apologize if any of you couldn't understand a thing I said cuz as one of my traits I have the wonderful trait of not being able to explain stuff clearly without making it more complex than it should be.

Anyways I'm going to disappear before I start being lazy again so byeeee yeetus =3 💥💥💥

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[mctvsh]

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i disappeared for 2 months 💔💔

anyways! knight!simon x princess!reader

cw - maybe a little possesive and suggestive, isn't proofread + probs doesn't make much sense. sowwy!

he KNOWS that the gazes you give him, the touches on his shoulders, or the reassuring smiles you give him mean nothing! but to him, the hard, rough edges that have never known such kindess like yours, take it as more. and he wants more. he wants you and he's sure that he'll get it.

when he greets you in the morning it's with a nod, the most you'll get out of him, the most loyal knight in the empire. the king's right hand. maybe you're a little lucky, you're protected and he has no problem with you checking out his big, hulking body underneath all that iron when he trains. (he says you can watch him only but he likes having you on his back while he does push ups in the garden) some may say it's innapropriate, unladylike for such an esteemed lady like yourself to ever converse with such an unruly "beast." as most say!

when the maids whisper in your ear, tales of their own lovers, you can't help but feel jealous. will you ever find your king? your love? the one you crave in the dark, lonely nights? where the only thing to keep you company is the soft lull of the moonlight shining through your window? but you're not truly alone, are you? no, you've got simon. simon the knight. the simon you touch on purpose. the simon you give loving gazes towards. reassuring smiles. kindness is rooted deep into your bones, rotting them, and maybe rotting away simon's hardened heart.

simon does think he's met his match, though. he thinks your a little rebellious, a lot to handle. it doesn't bother him, not really anyway. maybe a little when you try stupid pickup lines on him, giving him hope before you address him with, "knight," reminding him of his true role. but is it his fault when he stiffens when he sees you roam the halls with a short nightgown and a simple silk robe around you that didn't leave much to the imagination, carrying a single candle in your hand. you're most likely heading to the library, he has your schedule memorized. he says it's for protection, but you both know it isn't.

not when his deep brown honey eyes watch over you as you sleep. lips slighty parted, discarded book in your lap with your legs bent and up, pulled to your chest as your head lolls against the cushion of the seat you were leaned against, the rough carpet a little uncomfortable under your ass but you hold no grudge. especially when you wake up against a rock hard chest and a much more comfortable surface against you.

ok so thats it. uhm i ran out of ideas 💔 lowk sucks but its ok i wanted it out of my head