#hes on vacation

[reinersprozacbottle]

I’m sorry but this is actually so fucked up

Like… this is such a fucked up way to die like?????

Just exploding like a fucking balloon MAPPA WHEN I FUCLING CATCH YOU YOU SICK FUCKS

You can see in his eyes how much that hurt FUCK-

What’s the point w/ being "at peace with death" if you suffer this much during the last seconds???

[1071png]

the more zeloses you draw the more i willl love them >:3 he’s my favorite <3

I like Zelos too He got you a cola potion

[ohpainstar]

ughh i havent seen my boyfriend in so long, i miss him so bad,, i want to cuddle up to him and have his arms wrap around me, to melt and sink deeper into his embrace. i want to smell his evening skincare on his skin as i hide my face in the crook of his neck.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[aumberine]

with closeup

I'm sorry for depriving Tumblr of Redd

[tiger-grace]

I think Alfred is constantly dreaming about retirement but is shackled by the knowledge that he is the glue holding this barely functional family together

Alfred: sir I really don’t think

Bruce: why not. why should I not invest millions into funding a therapy corporation that Jason will ACTUALLY be able to trust

Alfred: quite honestly sir I think if it says “wayne” on it he’s 10 times less likely to go

Tim and Damian kicking the hell out of eachother rolling around on the floor: (unintelligible screaming, glass breaking, various cartoon crashing sound effects)

Alfred: (stares into batcamera like he’s in an office episode with several decades worth of exhaustion)

[philsmeatylegss]

If I were Dan and Phil I would never hard launch because it’s so embarrassing that we were right. Like what do you mean you were so in love a bunch of thirteen year old’s clocked it? I would never give that satisfaction.

[blueboybot]

Can You Hold This For Me?

Jason is enamored as he watches a beautiful red head lady beat the shit out of the mugger that got too close for her liking.

He was on his way to the local book store to find a good read when he saw a woman with her month old baby being stalked by a man who was obviously hiding a knife in his pocket. Jason immediately crossed the street to put himself between them and the mugger when all of a sudden the man got a little closer and the woman executed a perfectly good roundhouse kick to the man's head while keeping her baby secure.

After the man's body bounced in the alley and hit a trash can she turned to Jason with a brilliant smile that did something to his resurrected heart.

"Can you hold this for me?" She asked before simply putting the baby in Jason's arms before he could reply.

She then proceeded to pick the man up, who was twice her size, and flung him further into the alley before running up to finish her beat down.

A noise brought his attention from the woman to the baby in his arms who was now up and cooing at him curiously.

"Your mom's hot."

[charlietheepicwriter7]

When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".

[emacrow]

Um.. Superman.. what that thing stuck on your cape?

Clark's brain short circuit for a moment as he just got back of flying at great speed in the middle of deep space to thrown one of Lex's giants bombs destroy the city and come back in record time.

He turn a bit to look at his cape to see a tiny humanoid starlight dust covered child with white hair, glowing full green that look like white specks stars were implanted themselves into his big ol eyes, nawing on a handful of stardust with inhumanly sharp itsy bitsy fangs.

A small yet floating crown that look similar to one of Nasa pictures of far out space.

Did he just accidentally abducted an royal alien child/teen?

[bet-on-me-13]

Lex is Vlad reincarnated

So! Lex Luther, the greatest person to ever exist, had recently made a discovery.

A few weeks ago, a Cult of moronic simpletons had managed to kidnap him. Him! All for some stupid Demonic ritual where they sacrifice the wealthiest man they could find in return for something meaningless like "No More Poverty" or "No More Starvation".

He had survived, of course, and was unfortunately save by Supermoron.

But before the Man of Steel had busted in, he overheard something from the Cultists. Apparently they had chosen him for more than just his wealth, there was something more about his Soul that they were after. It felt "Divine", as if he had the soul of a God stuffed in a Mortal's body.

And obviously it must be correct. He was already the most intelligent man in the world, One of the wealthiest, and held more political power than any single man on the planet, so of course "God in disguise" was the next logical addition to that List.

Over the next few weeks he studied and prepared.

He needed to make sure that his efforts would be rewarded, that those Cultists had been correct about him despite their idiocy.

After buying up as many Magical Artifacts as he could related to Identity and Soul, he tested himself on Each and Every One. And Lo and Behold, he is truly a God.

Well, the Reincarnation of One. Apparently this was common in immortal beings such as himself, reincarnating themselves into mortal bodies as a sort of Vacation from their Duties. All he needed to do now was find a way to regain his Memories and Power without dying, and he would truly become a God On Earth.

A few more weeks of Preparation, and he was ready.

Apparently the Manchild of Steel had caught onto his plan in that time. His Ego probably couldn't bear another God living in the same City as himself, so he tried to stop Lex's plans of Ascension. Thankfully, in his research he had discovered his Rival's vulnerability to Magical Attacks, and set up countermeasures for him and his Breakfast Club should they attempt to interfere.

He stepped into the Ritual Circle, and began his Ascension to Godhood.

Try as they might, the League could not foil his plans this time. The Ritual Circle lit up with a sickly green light, and expanded to cover his entire body. The Ritual began to finally complete itself.

He had Won.

...

Oh.

...

Vlad stood at the center of the circle for a few moments. He took in all his Memories of his most recent Life, and Facepalmed so hard he was sure The Badger heard it back in the Realms.

Ten Tousand Years of Therapy specifically to curb his egotistical tendencies, and That is how he decides to spend his most recent Life? Acting as a Billionare Supervillain attacking a well meaning Hero for nothing less than Ego?! He even Cloned them!? Had he learned NOTHING!?!?

"Careful Team, we don't know how powerful he is now." He heard his current Nemesis say.

Oh right...they were still there.

He didn't really feel like explaining everything to them, and he technically still had about 40 years left on his Vacation...

He simply turned his back to them, flew back to his Mansion, turned back into his Human Form, and set about his Day. Maybe he could right a few of the wrongs he had done on this life?

It would certainly throw his current Nemesis for a loop. And while he may not Hate him anymore, he definitely still liked to Mess with him.

Maybe this would be more entertaining than he thought?

[nikkento-writes]

Toji is the absolute worst person to sit next to on the plane. He's so big that he takes up the entire seat and arm rest, encroaching on your personal space. He takes off his slippers to go barefoot the entire trip, flexing his toes and letting them all hang free with no regard for you, his seat mate. He snores when he sleeps, loud and open-mouthed that even your headphones can't block the obnoxious noise. He accidentally spills his drink on you, inappropriately using his tiny napkin to blot your wet lap.

Despite how awful he is, it only takes him fucking you in the tiny bathroom thousands and thousands of feet up in the air for you to dismiss his bad behavior. Somehow, the two of you manage to sneak into the lavatory unnoticed, and while it's a tight squeeze, there's just enough space for him to bend you over the sink and fuck you. "Sorry for being a terrible neighbor," he whispers in your ear, the smirk on his lips evident. "I hope this makes up for it."

"Shut up," you mumble, standing on your tippy toes to get a better angle. He's fucking you so deep now, your entire body feels electric, your orgasm quickly approaching.

He reaches for your clit, massaging it with his fingers, his mouth hot and wet as he kisses your neck. "Bet you're gonna come soon. You're squeezing me so fucking tight."

"Shut up," you whine, not proud of the current situation you're in, getting pounded silly by an annoyingly sexy stranger in front of a dirty bathroom mirror.

He chuckles, his thrust getting faster, harder. "Don't be shy, princess. Come for me so I can fill you up."

At that, you clench him, climaxing on his massive cock. He moans, shooting his hot load inside you. The both of you stay like this for a moment, catching your breaths.

When he pulls out of you, his cum starts leaking out of your pussy, dripping down your thighs. He turns your head to kiss you sloppily on the mouth. "Clean yourself up. Don't want everyone knowing you're a dirty little slut, right?" With one more smirk and a slap on your ass, he exits the bathroom, leaving you to deal with his mess.

He is the absolute worst.

[bunnieswithknives]

AU based off Nature except I kept thinking about it too hard. Dales not a good dad, but its such an easy problem for him to throw money at, and what do you do when a part is damaged? Well, you replace it.

Basically an AU where Dev gets to experience medical trauma and realizes much sooner how much his dad doesn't love him

[autiwara]

Get in losers, we’re hunting BOW’s

[yuujispinkhair]

Going insane at the thought of being on vacation with modern!boyfie Sukuna, and he takes you to a nice restaurant for dinner, making sure that you have a table for two in a cozy corner, all romantic with candlelight and wine. He’s holding hands with you on the table, playing with your fingers while chatting with you. And he’s so flirty and sweet, giving you butterflies with the charming things he says and the way he grins and looks at you with so much love in his eyes. The intimidating bad boy all tame and sweet just for you. From time to time he even brings your hand to his lips and kisses it while looking deeply in your eyes, in a way that tells you without words that Sukuna is truly yours. Just like you are his.

You walk back to your hotel hand in hand. And you lean against Sukuna, swooning at how tall and strong he is. Swooning at how nice it is to be here with him. How sweet it is to talk to him and laugh with him. And it hits you suddenly how close Sukuna and you are. How intimate it feels to be on vacation just the two of you, spending time together away from your everyday lives. Sukuna’s large hand tightens around yours, and you know without looking, that he is smiling right now, probably thinking the same.

[temeyes]

im asking the important questions here, shut up!!