#hes DEFINITELY fucking
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#this makes me laugh because i made this exact same meme during fhsy for zelda / gorgug / ragh#skuttlespring#gornit#Gorgugs got that autistic rizz#headcanon that gorgug has the highest body count of the bad kids#my guy has sex positive parents AND a van#hes DEFINITELY fucking#mary ann skuttle#gorgug thistlespring#UNIT#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#d20 fhjy#fhjy#alix original post
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Concept: Peter actually got bitten by a totally normal spider. It's just a coincidence that his mutant powers were awakened around the same time
#peter: 'i got bitten by a radioactive spider'#the xmen: '.....what the FUCK are you talking about'#my posts#marvel#spiderman#xmen#he gets targeted by sentinels and is just ?? very confused ???#i also cant stop thinking about how everyone else not in the know definitely thinks spiderman is a mutant too#it really explains why he gets so much hate#its not just because ppl hate vigilantes- its anti mutant sentiment#ALSO they make a big deal of him not letting anyone know hes got powers bc theyll figure out his identity#when really theyd first just assume he was a mutant#which could ruin his life in a very different way
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
i lowkey forget that percy's full name is perseus. and like. that name goes so hard. because it just sounds like this mf could kick your ass. like imagine you're a junior in high school and your teacher introduces a new student by the name of 'perseus jackson'. and before you even raise your head to look at the guy. you just know this mf could clock you.
#yeah sally definitely knew this too#sally 'i named my son perseus so he could have a happy ending' jackson#AND so ppl would know not to fuck with him just by hearing his name#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#perseus jackson#goddddddd say his nameeeeee
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Morning routine of local TV star
#this man has never heard of a toothbrush i can basically guarantee it#the big t shirt and boxers combo has me 😳💍🫀🗡️#he definitely just smells like windex#thats so real of him#i fell for the fucking tv#hazbin hotel#hazbin art#hazbin hotel fanart#vox#hazbin vox#the vees#hazbin hotel memes#my art
21K notes
·
View notes
Text
your superior finding out about the secret praise kink you didn't know had a name because you'd always been called an over achiever, a goody two shoes. never gave anyone any trouble, nose burrowed in a book since you had knobby knees and a library card.
you'd thought it normal that the apples of your cheeks burned when praised after giving your teacher the drawing you'd made for them the night before. that heat spread from the center of your chest up when your first boyfriend/girlfriend whistled at the sight of you outside of uniform. that warmth settles in your belly when you get a pat on the back from your platoon leader firm enough to force the air out of your lungs because you'd disassembled and cleaned a glock with the ease of a professional.
apparently it wasn't.
after weeks of training with the fabled task force, weeks of sharing elbow room with the team, weeks of soaking up the dizzying praise from the captain ("did real good out there, eh? can always count on you." you didn't question the throb betwixt your thighs, taking care of it with a cute little bullet like you've always done since joining the military)
you're confronted by the worst of the lot. ghost catches you in a break room, your back to him, hands clutching a cup of coffee that's more sludge than liquid, its warmth barely seeping through the styrofoam.
his figure fills the doorway, shoulders nearly brushing the frame. your first thought is that his brows aren't twisted together and he lacks that cold, blank look in his eyes so your death isn't in the nearest of futures. the second is that when he's not fully covering his face, the outline of his jaw is quite visible, looking sharp enough to cut.
then he crosses his sculpted arms over his chest, seams straining against the expanse of his muscles, head tipped to the side.
he moves with the keen curiosity of a predator sniffing around a newborn fawn, gaze intense yet inquisitive, assessing your every detail with a menacing interest.
"you ever gonna tell me you've a praise kink, bird?" the question sends a chill through your veins before turning into a fiery rush as it races at twice the normal speed.
praise kink? no. surely not. doesn't everyone like to receive compliments?
"sure. i don't mind gettin' told i've an impressive cock but that's bed talk. you look ready to bend over 'nd show us how slick tha' pretty cunt can get over a rufflin' of hair and a couple of empty words."
that has you positively reeling, fingertips cracking the cup in your hands, pulse on your neck fluttering. you feel a cornered, skittish animal, ready to flee lest your life come to an end in his maws.
but as usual, the cruel man more creature than person, twists the knife he's dug into you with a certain ruthlessness only he can muster.
"so be good for me, eh? love your praise? earn it."
you've always been an over achiever, proven once again by the way you take him to the root in one long, broad stroke with any complaints at the sheer size of him resting firmly behind your clenched teeth.
"tight little thing, spread open over me like you were meant for it. for me." he runs a gloved thumb over your swollen bottom lip. "there's tha' look. drivin' me bloody insane when you gave kyle tha' molten gaze. none o' tha' now, yeah?"
he creeps his ungloved hand down to circle your pearl with the spit-slick pads of his fingers, drawing in a sharp breath when your walls flutter and constrict around his cock at the feel of something other than your toy giving you the relief you need after a hard day's work.
"bloody fuckin' 'ell."
ghost claims a fistful of hair, pulling you closer to him, his breath warming the stinging, throbbing mark he bit onto the delicate skin of your neck. the shuffling of feet right outside the door snap you out of your daze, fingernails sinking into the bulging muscle of his chest but he has none of it.
he uses your hair to direct your focus back onto him and even though he'd only given you a leading tug you felt some strands of your hair come off with a pop.
"easy. can't see your pretty face when i'm fuckin' ya if your lookin' away."
your expression twists into what you hope is bliss when he bucks his hips, your whimper drowning out his groan when he hits on something new.
something you want him to keep hitting.
"exactly like i'd thought."
everything else blurs together after that, and only when you're back in your room using a warm cloth to clean yourself up do you remember the other things he'd rumbled.
(inside o' ya, make you mine-)
(-get 'bout bein' with anyone else-)
(-ll to myself-)
you touch your tender pussy with gentle fingers at what he'd said in the end.
(leave tha' f'me, he swipes your hand away, i'll get ya there, pet.)
if price's compliments take a nose dive off a cliff you don't notice because you're getting your daily fill of them and ghost after dinner every night. kyle keeps them to one word and soap likes to tempt fate as always.
#desperate gross old man definitely gets his ass chewed out later#what the fuck was he thinking fucking the newbie in the BREAK ROOM#not your fault though you're an angel and price will always have your six 👍🏽#unless laswell hears of your shit then you're on your own buddy#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x you#simon riley smut#cod smut
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
goku is the best character ever made actually
#dragon ball#feenie posts#feenie reads dragon ball#goku my fucking beloved. jesus christ#there is so much love in my heart#he may just be my favourite character of all time. he's definitely in the top 5
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
we need to abolish the idea that ancient greek myths and legend have a coherent timeline. they do not. for any given myth there are like 10 heroes mentioned that feasibly could not have been adults or even alive. herakles keeps showing up in places where he should probably be dead. anyone could be a suitor of helen. even herakles. even theseus if you count that kidnapping stint he did. nestor is alive for 10 billion years. time is fake and anything beyond vague generational outlines is conjecture
#the thing about classical studies is sometimes you gotta just accept that sometimes We Dont Fucking Know#a majority of our sources are GONE. we don’t have the full picture and its impossible to make definite statements off fragmentary evidence#is achilles older than patroclus? is he younger? NO IDEA. myth is a fluid tradition. who give a shit#all that matters is: is this guy the same general age range? is he young enough that hes got less respect? is he old enough to earn respect?#and if anyone cites wikipedia at me for this post im killing them with lasers#tagamemnon
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Part 3
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
#gravity falls#the book of bill#tbob#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#bill cipher#theraprism#(BLUGEONING HIM WITH A HAMMER) anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this.#do yall get it. do you see the vision.#he'd rather kill someone than admit hes having a panic attack.#his first instinct is to reject help and act violently#deeply unwell behavior from a guy who definitely doesnt have panic attacks#talk therapy exercise with bill cipher thats like skipping thru a minefield#would he admit to using the 54321 method fuck no
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Just thought abt olderbf!simon fucking you in his rugby/football jersey and growling right in your ear something about giving you a pretty ring on your finger and his last name
there is nothing older bf!simon wants more than to see “RILEY” across your back as he’s hitting it from behind.
it’s only sunday morning local-rec-over-21’s rugby. it’s nothing special.
but there is you on the side lines, so cold he can see your breath and wrapped up in one of his thicker jackets.
he likes the way you smile and do a little jump when it’s a penalty for his team.
and he likes that little frown you get when someone tries to take him off at the knees.
and he really likes the way you get a little dazed when he’s tackling sorry bastards across the grass.
that same dazed look you get when he comes off the pitch covered in mud and smelling like sweat. when you pass him a towel and tell him to shower at home.
which is actually code for “get me home now and i’ll do that thing you like”
and it leads him to this, bending you over on the bed so he can see his last name stretched across your shoulders and imagine what it’ll be like when it’s finally yours.
he can feel the caveman-primal-madness coursing through him when he sees you with his name on his back. inexplicably hard at the thought-
the thought of you as his.
and whilst he hasn’t got it all planned out yet, he can pretend like he does. when he presses his chest to your back so you can hear his voice loud and clear.
“y’all mine? hmm? get t’keep y’forever? till death n’all that?”
#you’ve probably discussed marriage atp but i kind of like it better if you haven’t#he’s definitely the type to tell you he loves you the second time he fucks uou#and brings up marriage for the first time when he’s balls deep#he’s just got bad timing#older bf!simon#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
gotta spell it out for him
#he would not fucking say that Is running through my veins making this. but this is sillay. for fun#so whateva#doodles#my art#benrey#benry#frenrey#gordon freeman#hlvrai#half life but the ai is self aware#fanart#realized halfway thru that gordon has definitely ate the balls before and wouldnt h ave to explain#but WHATEVER its sillay. whatever. we act a little silly#you tryna get my high on the job <- is actively high on the job#gordon#gordon feetman
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking the past few days about how, after the scene in s2 where these huge chains fall from Stiles' locker, everyone in school thinks he's either in a gang or into some very deep BSDM, and there's like this tally that goes around where people annotate things they've heard him say and debate over why it points to one or the other.
I mean, someone will hear him say human sacrifices and they'll immediately go 'alright so this guy is roleplaying some very hardcore stuff', but then someone else will hear him say something like we gotta find the bodies and then it's like... maybe not roleplaying?
Werewolf? Depending on the context, it's a code word or the name of a rival gang (his gang??), or like some weird kink no one's sure they want to know much about.
Also, Derek Hale is definitely involved somehow, but this doesn't help clarify whether Stiles is in a gang or if he and Derek are just into some very kinky shit. There's a tally on that, too.
#it's all very 'gay or european' from the legally blonde musical#of course stiles has no idea#and he keeps saying the most unhinged things thinking no one can hear him#by the time he graduates there's an unofficial club that dedicates exclusively to try and figure it out#he becomes an urban legend of the school#derek definitely knows and doesn't say anything because he thinks it's fucking hilarious#and better a gang or a sex thing than werewolves#stiles stilinski#derek hale#sterek#eternal sterek#teen wolf#teen wolf headcanon
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness
#so the part of the book where kid hua cheng suddenly sits bolt upright#because he senses something in the room#and this 7 year old is just 👁️👁️ and radiating immense killing intent#hes so fucking funny 😭#i love him being weird and strange and offputting#‘dianxia why does the high schooler that hangs around your house sometimes have glowing red eyes and know things he definitely shouldnt#and crush things into dust with his bare hands and seem to hate the sun an-‘ mind your own fucking business#drawing baby hc was so much fun i hope i do it again soon#the secret is that xie lian is JUST as deeply weird as his husband but in a less obvious and threatening manner.#guy who has to keep his internal monologue internal because he is thinking things like “wouldnt wanna get choked by those hands!”#out of every god character he is the one who seems to have changed the most from immortality#dying presumably hundreds of times and being alone for hundreds of years does something to your brain#“xiao hua why does your cultivator talk weird and wear the same clothes and eat the same food and-” HE IS AUTISTIC!!!! AND JADED BY THE#PASSAGE OF CENTURIES!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!!#my art#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#art#tgcf meme#mxtx#天官赐福#lmao#hob#heaven official's blessing#the people have spoken...
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
#he just like me fr#dungeon meshi#laios touden#actuallyautistic#aphelion.txt#dunmeshi#laios#autism things#im definitely chewing on that marcille lore/angst too but the laios nightmare sequence hit close to home!!#dont think falin had a great relationship with their parents either#i mean aside from being willing to abandon her in the dream. idk if that's 100% accurate to how they acted.#it didnt seem like her affinity for ghosts was gonna go down real good in that flashback#also i need to write that post abt how falin has girl autism (dont ask me what that means unless you want to enter an unskippable cutscene)#actually its pretty easy to hit most dunmeshi chars w the hammer of autism laios is just the most obvious#senshi hyperfixating and having meltdowns (Waterwalk Incident.) and low empathy for people until he's gotten Attached#i need to go find that post someone made about chilchuck being the token allistic it was so fucking funny#i have like 3 more dunmeshi autism metas in my mental queue apparently. please make me shut up
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.
Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.
To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.
He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.
Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.
So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.
When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.
What did he do to cause that?!
And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!
#svsss#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#shen qingqiu trying to figure out if binghe somehow badly misconstrued the core concept of 'fuck marry kill'#also shang qinghua in this setting just like 'I don't know how we unlocked this mode where is the off button oh god'#at the same time like look he respects that his king has mixed feelings about his own evil uncle#but he's definitely throwing that dude onto the sacrificial marriage altar of bingbing's black widow spree#good luck linguang jun#rest in pieces i guess#sqh probably helps steer binghe in the direction of suitable targets in exchange for never ever becoming one himself lol#sha hualing pivots from 'you should marry me' to 'actually I think you should marry my dad'
838 notes
·
View notes
Text
being a little petty (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#petty vash moment - i think he deserves the chance to be petty... and he's kind of a petty person to me in some circumstances mfgksmgk#DEFINITELY to wolfwood i'd imagine... because they're petty to each other in exchange for not speaking about their Feelings or sorting#things out verbally. it's just how they communicate. not outlandish fights - or ignoring each other completely - but just little petty ways#that ends up getting solved anyway. i imagine it always tends to be wolfwood who “solves” it while vash doesn't necessarily “solve” it#he just ignores it? or accepts it as is? like broods for a day maybe in unnoticeable to anyone but ww kind of way but#returns to a normal attitude the next day while ww is like ??? fuck this guy - before ultimately just accepting it as is because he doesn't#/want/ to be mad at vash. i also dont think ww is someone who can be mad for super long... unlike vash who's had anger for like 150 years#ruporas art
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
lol arthur realizes with the other knights after watching merlin flirt and being hit with a wave of deja vu: holy shit you asked me out
merlin and the rest of the knights around a campfire after leaving a village bc lancelot and leon somehow started a brawl in the tavern: ???
arthur points at merlin: after valiant! you asked me to buy you a drink! you were asking me out!
merlin is busy cooking dinner and confused out of his fucking mind: what???…..valiant….oh the knight with the snakes.
gwaine who was slightly tipsy now stone cold sober and sitting up straight against a tree: wait. explain. what do you mean merlin asked you out??
arthur snaps his fingers as he recalls the memory: i apologized for sacking you and you said that if i bought you a drink we’d be even.
merlin now remembering how he had stumbled into camelot, picked a fight with a pigheaded bully which quickly turned homoerotic and flirtatious, and continued their teasing-flirting for days before merlin shot his shot and asked the prince out only to be rejected: oh yeah, i forgot i did that…..wait, you mean you didnt realize what i was asking?
arthur: no?? we argued everyday, how was i supposed to realize you were asking me out??
merlin now abandoning the dinner and staring across the camp at arthur while the rest of the knights watch their back and forth like a game of tennis: to you we were arguing, to me that was very much flirting. i thought you were flirting back so i decided to ask you. then you rejected me
arthur, mentally beating his past self up for fucking up their chance: i didn’t reject you!!! i just didn’t realize what you were asking me. how was i meant to? we fought every chance we got
leon, nudging elyan, glee and excitement riling through him: its happening!!! its finally happening!!! seven long, grueling years is finally paying off!!!
merlin, realizing the misunderstanding and acknowledging the fact that he wasn’t rejected, his flirtations just weren’t noticed - realizing he still has a chance: oh…oh i see. arthur, my dear, our fights were extremely flirtatious. need i remind you of what you said? “do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to teach you?” or “i could take you apart with one blow”
arthur, mental capabilities at an all time low: m…my dear….?????????
merlin grinning devilishly as he realizes that his flirtatious persona he had hidden away after falling head over heels for arthur can make a come back: that is what i called you. should i call you something else? say…mine?
percival gags in elyan’s ear: cheesy
elyan hides a laugh: at least they’re finally getting somewhere. better than the hopeless pining
arthur, flushed from head to toe: ah uh no um im uh
merlin thoroughly enjoying himself: oh come now, your majesty. use your words.
#meanwhile leon is praying his thanks to every god and goddess above for their mercy#his pain and suffering is so over#merlin is going IN on arthur who is red as fuck#gwaine is enjoying himself immensely#lancelot pulls out popcorn to watch the two idiots finally get their acts together#flirty merlin x flustered arthur#i think yes#listen. merlin lived in ealdor. a small village of maybe thirty people - four or five being his own age#he was thrilled to be in camelot and have new faces and people to meet#he was definitely the village tease or flirt or whatever#he was gonna be a rake in camelot but unfortunately managed to fall hopelessly in love with the prince of camelot#he burned his dreams of being a rake in exchange for arthur#the issue? arthur rejected his advances. next issue? merlin’s feelings remained and grew#so merlin is a lovesick puppy for a prince who doesnt feel the same and he cant find it in himself to look at anyone else bar a few cases#he and lancelot def slept together at least once. him and gwaine tumbled into bed a few times together#but his heart always belonged to arthur he just never imagined hed get a chance to let his affection be known#now that he knows arthur never knew of his intentions in the first place and was quick to deny he rejected him#merlin is more than happy to let that part of his personality come back and terrorize arthur is a way he hadnt been able to before#hes living his best life rn#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#knights of the round table#fanfiction ideas#prompts#headcanon
1K notes
·
View notes