#hes 50% bastard

[blippin]

last art of the night, almost forgot to post this bab! This drawing is like two years old now but I still love this little bastard. His name is Lemmy and he is a cat made of sour gummy worm-flavored jello. He aint got no eyes and he causes problems on purpose. Lemmy is part of the closed species Jellocats :) I don’t draw him that much anymore but I might share more art of him at another time!

[edorazzi]

Page 22 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Felix tries to put his villain face on, but it's pretty ineffective when he's so possessive of that wonky mug Adrien made him after Kuro Neko... 🙄☕

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[yennao]

Yk this actually started as a second pass at @ratblazer 's DTIYS but I got a little bit excited about light pens and ended up here. At least, I think that's what happened. I got the memory of a gnat, you know how it be

[backpackingspace]

Of course post-canon odysseus and penelope love each other (they are a little bit insane about the other. Neither is allowed to leave the others side for months after odysseus gets back. They cycle between sobbing on one and another and aggressively making out. ) but it's true that they have both changed. It's been twenty hard years after all. So

Odypen courting each other again just for the fun of it. Odypen deciding to act like teenagers again and make elaborate plans pretending to sneak into the others room.

Odysseus sending penelopes 90 year old dad a letter challenging him to a race for penelopes hand in marriage. (This does not go over well but penelope though it was hilarious)

Odysseus begging Athena to help him win penelopes heart/hand again. (Athena: What no why you're already married I don't understand you ) (she helps anyways)

Penelope weaving all of odysseus's clothes. Penelope hauling out every tapestry she made of telemachus's childhood (she made one for every year. To gift odysseus on his birthday when he returned.)

Odypen leaving telemachus incharge while they go off on dates (to harssass, cause problems, and badger other people into giving them things). It should be fine Athena has been sticking close to the house lately. And it's only for an afternoon anyways (at first. Headcanon that penelope came with odysseus when he had to go plant the oar and call it a windmill quest.)

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

(end of bad’s Acceptance vod, about 1:48:30)

no but im never going to be normal again. LOOK at this. look. IMMEDIATELY before this he gave a whole miserable speech at the graveyard about how much he misses the kids and how he wants them to come home. He was grieving so hard it started to rain. He cried while he sang to them. It was the perfect end to 5 days of grieving- and then he does this.

and the rain isnt about grief anymore- the thunder isnt a peaceful background to a heartbreaking scene. It is rage. the whole context changes. The storm raged on while he grieved like he raged during the Everything Else that happened (“there are a lot of federation workers on today. I need to interrogate them about some things” he said while he was following forever ALONE to distract him. he knew forever was fucked up and about to put more marriage pressure on him and for anyone else that would have been Terrifying. how could you focus on anything but that? but. bad was thinking about tormenting more federation workers)

i just!!!! its so good. its SO good its so scary its so good. bad hasnt accepted the loss of his children but he has accepted how far he will go to get them back. (he will do anything)

[royalarchivist]

Badboyhalo: WHAT THE FUDGE! Why does he do that every time I talk to him?! What the fudge- WHAT THE FUDGE! Every single time- every single time! Do you remember when after you had that nightmare and died, and I said, "Hey Vegetta, Dapper just died" and he flipping left? Can you believe this little muffinhead?! That's flipping it- THAT'S FLIPPING IT! PEACE?! Agh- you can rest in pieces! We're breaking in Dapper-

A tragedy in two parts:

[cthulhusstepmom]

Fae!Soap Superstitious Bastard! Ghost: Gifts

(Just a heads up this got way more intense than I meant it to but that’s kind of the Fae for you.)

TW: mentions of torture, human remains

Soap is a collector, though not of any one thing that Ghost can discern. He’s seen the man pick up anything from an abandoned rolex to a nondescript piece of broken glass. It doesn’t seem to be about size, it’s not shape and definitely not value; Ghost had thought he’d pinned it down as things that caught the light a certain way but was swiftly proven wrong when Soap went on a spree of collecting pebbles and sticks. He’d glared sullenly at the first jagged gray rock when Soap had picked it up before swiftly changing the subject when he was noticed. There was no apparent rhyme or reason to any of it… well not quite. There was one singular pattern that stood out in his mind, a single thread that held firm no matter how much he rearranged or plucked at it.

 Anything that Ghost gave him, Johnny kept. 

The first had been a bit of pretty blue ribbon that was a close enough approximation to Soap’s eyes. It’d snagged on a bramble bordering the clearing where Ghost had set up for overwatch. Without even thinking he’d snagged it on his way to RV down the hill, offering it to Johnny in the armored car taking them back to base. Soap hadn’t said a thing. It was then that Ghost realized maybe giving your subordinate a piece of trash you’d found in a bush perhaps wasn’t the most well adjusted way to express affection. He’d been about to play it off with a quip, beginning to retract his fingers ever so slightly, when Johnny snatched it lightning quick from the palm of his hand, holding it close to his chest for a moment before stuffing it into his chest pocket next to his journal. Soap had given him a small strangled “Thank you” as they sat the rest of the ride in an awkward but warm silence. Johnny disappeared almost immediately after they got back to base but Ghost could see light in the space under his door so he wasn’t too worried that he’d done permanent damage to their relationship.

After that his eyes just seemed to catch on things that he assumed Johnny would like. He couldn’t help it. Little glass marbles, a river stone with an interesting marking, a large brown feather; Somehow it all made its way into the hands of his Sergeant. Usually with a gruff “Here”, barely waiting for Johnny to hold out his hands before he dropped his small offering into his gloved palms. Soap has also gotten over whatever his episode of silence had been, responding with a blinding smile and enthusiastic gratitude and a happy quip. (“Thanks Lt!” a piece of antler, Montana “Y’ shouldn’t have!” an old toy car, Finland “Find this on sale?” a scrap of pink fabric, Brazil “Ghost you’re spoiling me.” green river stone, India etc.(no he didn’t catalog all of them that would be creepy. He only wrote down his favorites.))

The next time Ghost thinks he’s permanently damaged their relationship and scared Soap off for good comes after an operation sweeping out an AQ base in Afghanistan. 

It’s stuffy and dark, the blistering heat of the day beginning to fade into the bitter chill of the night. The compound has long since been abandoned by all but the stubbornest of rats, slowly being reclaimed by the wild desert it carved its blackness into. They roll into the courtyard through the open front gate, the outer walls have seen multiple breacher charges and calling them walls at this point is more out of respect than any dedication to accuracy. The whole place has already been swept by drone and Laswell has had satellite eyes on it for months confirming just how fucking dead it is. They’re here for information, the drone identified documents left behind as well as at least two hard drives. 

The 141 has split off, each clearing their own section and radioing in at even intervals, they’ve learned the hard way that it’s better to be safe than sorry. Beyond extra caution, the whole place has an eerie, black aura that drags forth memories of scorpion stings and dull knives biting at his flesh. Assisting in his nightmarish stroll down memory lane, Ghost is assigned the lower levels of the compound. Each room is another scene from a past he tries to forget, filled with rusted over implements of pain and brown stains no one cared to clean. 

Something in the last room makes him pause. 

A small barred window allows light from a waning moon to pool into the room, catching on something on the table. Small, most no bigger than his fingernail, a collection of about five objects sits in a tray on the corner of the table. Brilliant white patches shine in stark opposition to the bed of rust brown they lay on. 

Teeth. Human teeth.

His mind is acting on autopilot when grabs them and stuffs them in a pocket, so similar but so different to his first experience with the ribbon months ago. He finishes his sweep of the room, conveying his findings back on comms (“Seems like we’re late for the party.” “If only you didn’t take so long to get ready.”-Soap “Shut the fuck up the both of you I just saw a rat the size of a terrier.”-Gaz “I’ve got the hard drives if any of you fuckers remember why we’re here.”-Price), and turns back to rendezvous, his mind now firmly on finding his comrades and getting the hell out.

As they start readying themselves to duck into the humvees they arrived in, Ghost’s muscle memory kicks in to complete his self assigned mission objective. He turns to where Soap stands almost expectantly at his side. It’s not every mission that he has something he’s decided is a worthy offering but it has become more often than not. Mind already halfway back to base, a gloved hand chases down each tooth where they’ve burrowed themselves in the pocket of his tac vest, collecting them and dropping them in Soap’s proffered hand with a grunt. His brain turns back on when the bloody bones hit his Sergeant’s glove, panicking because what the fuck did he just do? What kind of fucking sociopath gives his friend(more?) human fucking teeth as a souvenir. Much less human fucking teeth that were pulled forcibly out of some poor bastard’s skull during a bygone torture session. 

His hand is trembling. 

Ghost forces himself to look down and meet Soap’s assuredly outraged and disgusted gaze. 

Only he doesn’t.

Johnny is staring down at the teeth in his palm with a look of fucking reverence. His pupils are dilated beyond just the darkness surrounding them and Ghost’s detail oriented eyes catch the slight flare of his nostrils on every inhale. Soap slowly tilts his head up to meet Ghost’s eyes and a gasp lives and dies in his throat.

“Oh Simon, you treat me so well.” His voice is gravelly and thrumming with an emotion that Ghost doesn’t know the name of. But, god if this is the look he gets after bringing Johnny desiccated human remains?

He’ll rip the teeth out of some unworthy son of a bitch himself.

[randomwriteronline]

The brain has been plagued with thoughts of ackar and mata nui romance hours, specifically mata nui only ever referring to ackar as a friend bc he values that friendship more than whatever else they might have and also he doesnt like any other term. Like, boyfriend is redundant, husband is incorrect and partner is too professional. He does also add adjectives like dear, beloved or sweet sometimes. first time mata nui calls him "my sweet friend" ackar almost dies bc thats most intimately fond thing anybody ever said to him

Im also thinking of my mata nui 3.0 thing where he has a fucked up long ass tongue and him shoving it directly down ackars throat bc he has a very loose idea of how making out works. when he finally pulls it back out and sees his friend sputter for air he goes oh no are you alright? and ackar is like (hoarsely, so aroused his toes are falling off) NEVER BEEN BETTER

[singsweetmelodies]

mehehehe.....piarles + 25 or 45 🫶

25 = Green Card Marriage

45 = Vampire and Hunter

hehehehehehehe... let's see about 25 and 45 🤭👀

"It's brilliant, Charlito!" Pierre insists, spreading his arms like he's saying, come on. "I'm a hunter, so I'm allowed to settle in any country I want. If you're married to me, you'll be allowed to settle there too, and you can get that position at Rutgers like you have always wanted."

Charles folds his arms. "I'm a vampire, Pierre," he reminds him, pointedly. "Or have you forgotten?"

Pierre folds his arms, too, mirroring Charles' own pose. "Of course I haven't forgotten, calamar."

Calamar. As always, the nickname takes Charles right back - to that day in the back of his parents' garden, when Pierre had decided to come over for a surprise visit and he'd found Charles. Drinking. It had only been from a blood bag, of course (Charles would never kill a person, and he'd been too young then to know about charming someone to let him drink just a few sips) but it had still been more than enough for Pierre to understand what was going on. Pierre had frozen where he stood, eyes blown wide.

And Charles had thought, no no no, and he'd thrown himself at Pierre before he could think better of it. "Please don't leave, Pierrot, please, I promise I'm not evil and we're not evil, I don't care what they say on the news because it's not true, we don't hurt people, we don't hurt anyone, just... please don't go. You're my best friend, please -"

Pierre had stopped him there, putting a gentle hand over Charles' mouth. "I don't care that you're a vampire, Charles," he'd said with surprising firmness for a ten-year-old. "You're my best friend too. And, anyway, you're less of scary vampire and more like... a clingy little squid."

"I'm not!" Charles had shrieked, but of course Pierre had taken to calling him that every day from that moment on. (Charles never protested too much, because the nickname always felt like Pierre's way of saying I know what you are and you're my best friend anyway; I'm not going anywhere.)

"... Charles? Earth to Charles?" Pierre is asking, waving his hand in front of Charles' face. "Ah. Hello again. Did you go to vampire-planet?"

"You know we're from the same planet as you," Charles says immediately, rolling his eyes. "Or didn't they teach you that at hunter school?"

"Mmm, no, I think I skipped that module," Pierre says, and then he grins cheekily, tongue between his teeth.

Charles swats at him, and Pierre catches his wrist easily, his Hunter-trained reflexes quick as ever. Charles' breath catches.

It shouldn't be hot. It should be the opposite of hot, for fuck's sake - those kinds of reflexes are trained to kill people like Charles.

Except, Pierre didn't become a hunter to kill vampires. No - he did it for Charles. Not to hunt him, but to learn how to protect him from other hunters.

So, yeah. It's seriously hot when Pierre shows off some of those skills of his.

"Are you going to let go of me?" Charles asks, swallowing thickly. He can't help the way his gaze flickers to Pierre's fingers wrapped around his wrist, still holding him tightly in place.

You could hold me like that any time you want, Charles thinks, and fights against his blush. It shouldn't even be possible for vampires to blush, for fuck's sake, but Pierre manages to get Charles to do it anyway.

Pierre, thankfully, seems oblivious to Charles' spiralling thoughts. He winks at Charles, playful and cheeky as he always is. "Nope," he says, popping the p. "Not until you agree that my idea is brilliant."

And, right. Right. Charles had almost forgotten the reason why they're even here - Pierre's stupid, hair-brained scheme to get Charles his dream job at Rutgers.

Rutgers, which still does not allow any supernaturals onto its teaching staff, let alone Monégasque vampires.

"It's a terrible idea," Charles says flatly. "They'll never let me teach there if they suspect I'm a vampire."

"But if you're married to a hunter, nobody will ever suspect you're a vampire," Pierre points out, triumphantly. "See? It's genius."

Charles has to admit that it's... clever. Absolutely insane, yes, but clever.

Pierre must be able to read it on his face, because his eyes light up like his favourite F1 team has just won a race. "See! You do think it'll work!" he crows.

"I don't think -" Charles tries, but Pierre cuts him off with a dramatic sigh.

"I've done all the research, Cha. Trust me, there's no way that this can go wrong."

There is, Charles thinks, only a little despairingly. It's not so much that he's worried about getting caught - no, Charles is pretty good at charming officers by now. Half of the time, he doesn't even have to use his hypnotism.

What he's far more worried about is the fact that he'll be married. To Pierre.

Pierre, who he's only been in love with since the first time he called Charles "calamar" and stayed when anyone else would have left.

Pierre, who Charles knows would taste sweeter than anyone else in the world. Because that's the thing about being a vampire and being in love with someone: even one tiny sip of their blood will sustain you sixteen times longer than a random person's would.

It's bad enough just like this, when they're just friends, and Pierre throws his head back to laugh or slides his arm around Charles' waist, and Charles has to fight with himself to keep his fangs tucked away - because even though Pierre is so close and smells so good, he is not Charles' to taste or Charles' to have.

It's hard enough to hold himself back when they're just friends. Charles has no idea how the hell he'll be able to do it if they're fucking married.

But as always when Pierre suggests a hare-brained scheme, Charles is helpless in the face of his sparkling blue eyes and half-cheeky, half-pleading smile.

"Okay, calamar," he agrees, and even though he might just have signed the warrant for his own death-by-slow-torture-of-wanting-his-best-friend-too-much, it's worth it a thousand times over for the way Pierre beams at him and uses the wrist he's still holding to tug Charles into a tight hug.

"Rutgers, here we come!"

(50 Romance Prompts Ask Meme)

[mblue-art]

Which skeleton walks into the room to catch you replying to anon in "uwu" talk? How do you think they'd react?

UH 🧍‍♂️

[neonhellscape]

I'm beating that tech priest with a crowbar again

[sanjiaftersex]

logging into tumblr at 3 am after a show binge to post all the screenshots I've taken of my precious little meow meow

[atopvisenyashill]

Rhaenyra and Jace parallel each other so much, I think if she had won history would have repeated itself with Jace's succession. They remind me of Arya and Jon's conversation about girls and bastards. Rhaenyra and Jace have one thing the other craves, she is trueborn and he is male. But she is a woman and he is a bastard so ultimately they face quite similar.

yes yes, i think it's interesting because as you say, they're both "outsiders" and by their very nature, they have a lot in common but because they don't quite have enough in coming, they never see eye to eye. i actually think a better comparison is jon and theon - jon and arya always see eye to eye and imo, both jon and arya understand well enough (even if they don't have the language for it) how being a woman and being a bastard work in different ways to marginalize them both, and i think they even have a bit of an understanding that a female bastard is going to be sexualized in a very different way than a noble born woman or a bastard boy.

but jon and theon, as far as we've seen them, are just incapable of seeing eye to eye. even though they are both part of an "out group" the other has what each boy desperately wants: jon has stark blood and theon has a noble name. jon has love and theon has status. they both see the other's faults intimately well but never take that nexxt step into realizing their faults are very similar. rhaenyra has the targaryen name, but jacaerys is a man. and because she's trueborn, she's incapable of seeing the position she's put jace in. but because he's a man, jace is incapable of seeing the situation rhaenyra was put in. they're in the same chapter but they're on a different page. not quite aligned and it makes all the world of difference.

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Bro i really played myself with my trans Solomon hc huh

No visual evidence to subtly include in my art. No top surgery scars no nothin. No one will know but me orz

Fool. Imbecile.

Unfortunately though i will change Nothing bc it makes sense To Me but I will still be sad about it xgmxgmxxfj

[goblinbugthing]

guys i need help how do i get a bunch of golden skull necklaces in quick succession. those bishops are staying in my fucking cult.

[fleetsonourgecentral]

what kinds of pranks do Sonic and Scourge do?

Pretends to be good at coming up with pranks for the sake of this ask

Honestly just think of every time Sonic has pretended to be dead or that a situation is hopeless, only to turn around and be like "lol bitch u thought". And then make it worse. Because those are their absolute favourite kind of pranks. Scourge's presence just makes everything worse because he'll think of ways to make it look more realistic. Poor Tails has a very vivid memory of Scourge coming home one day after a battle, ears flat against his skull, carrying a bruised and bloodied and lifeless Sonic in his arms, growling a choked-out explanation about how Robotnik... Sonic couldn't - that bastard is going to pay for what he...

And he lays Sonic on the sofa, disappearing elsewhere into the base, making small noises like he's about to start crying. And Tails is distraught and starts shaking Sonic, begging him to wake up, tearing up when he receives no response, and he's just taking a breath to start wailing-

And then Sonic screams "RAH!" and grabs him and Tails shrieks so loud it rattles the windows, and from the next room he can hear Scourge laughing his ass off. Fucker left the room in the first place not because he was crying, but because he was laughing

Tails sulked for a week straight about falling for that trick again and Sonic and Scourge were told to clean the damn fake blood off the sofa and off the floor (which they didn't do)

Those are the kind of shitty pranks they pull. Not the only kind of pranks they'll pull, they'll also steal Tekno's stuff while she's working to confuse her, she's sure she put that screwdriver around here somewhere, or they'll place important things in difficult to reach places and replace them with taunting notes, or (like you mentioned in your previous ask) will drop paint on someone. They especially like dropping paint on people. But occasionally pretending to fail a mission, or pretending that one of them is dead, is their favourite type of prank, although they don't do it often in order to keep it at maximum effect