#heres one of the pieces i did in school
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Maria Espinoza, GRAPHIC DESIGN, my back up plan, 2022, accordion bound zine
#heres one of the pieces i did in school#enjoi#its got stuff from my personal sketch book + process work from my time in school#art#rnangoes#graphic design#art zine#personal work#book binding
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you’re my hero!
bnha doomed yuri was not on my 2024 bingo card
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#togachako#ochako uraraka#toga himiko#a snack for the og bnha followers if any of you are still here#really liked the lines on this one so i tried to go easy on the rendering#which has been burning me out lately#thankfully theres a cure for that (silly doodles)#no idea whats going on with the story though#like wdym bnha is ending???#I literally started watching as a high school freshman its been going on forever#i did hear abt the togachako storyline so this is a product of all the bits and pieces floating in my brain#doomed yuri my beloved#just girls supporting girls (ft incredible violence)
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I hope this makes up for all the Octobear days I've missed. Done in gouache. It's been a rough month...
#Octobear#Octobear 2023#I only did the first week :'(#I'm sorry bears#I was still checking the bear cam everyday#but i generally did not draw anything all month#just this one#Actually the lioness piece counts...#I also started sketching a chimpanzee one#I will paint that digitally because the traditional painting went horribly wrong#I scanned it before colouring... it's preserved#WELL#I have lost all faith in humanity this week#The world is more evil than I liked to believe#I got a hint when a surprising amount of people thought Eren's genocidal plan to free paradis was justifiable#WE ARE TALKING ABOUT REAL LIVES HERE. INNOCENT LIVES#Free palestine#Is*ael's actions can only be described as genocidal. I don't understand how people buy into it#Picture a school. there is a gunman hiding in there. What's the best course of action? Is*ael decided it should blow up the whole school#ney the whole neighborhood#to eliminate the gunman. And the world is cool with it. because every possible breathing creature in the school might be the gunman.#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!????? How in the world can such a decision be supported and justified!!?????#I'm disgusted by the world#The poor children.#The poor hostages too. They will die in the airstrikes. Is*ael keeps chanting about wanting them home but are actively harming them.
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I have thoughts in my brain about six of crows and they may or may not make sense. So. The thing is when people talk about how the crows couldn't possibly be 16-18 because they're overly mature and competent and have life experience etc etc. i get that BUT is that not the whole point? I mean the books really hammer it home that notions of childhood in their world are entirely different from ours, like to the point where i would even say it's a main theme and kinda the driving force behind all the events in the duology.
Kids are taken away from their parent at like 11 to train as soldiers. Kaz was all alone in Ketterdam at 9 years old and there doesn't seem to have been any functioning system of care for kids like him, nor mandatory schooling. In Fjerda, it seems like the closest thing to foster care is being taken on by the Druskelle. Inej started training as an acrobat pretty much as soon as she could walk and was playing starring roles in performances by the time she was 14 (and probably a fair bit younger). I don't remember Jesper's backstory perfectly but I think he was put to work in the jurda fields (a hazardous agricultural job) as a small child, then worked with guns in some way, then got sent to school in a different country when he was like 15. This isn't exclusive to the crows - it's mentioned a lot that there are many kids in situations similar to Kaz and Inej in the Barrel. Even Joost, despite seemingly being quite sheltered, is working full time night shifts as a guard when he's not even old enough to grow facial hair.
It seems that there's just much more of a vocational focus for kids/teenagers in the grishaverse. This makes a lot of sense because many elements of culture across the grishaverse countries come from the ~1800s when the attitude towards kids was that they weren't all that different from small, inexperienced adults, especially in working-class and rural settings where you just had to get on with things. Kerch especially took inspiration from victorian England, where kids as young as 9 could legally work up to 60 hours a week in dangerous conditions. So yeah that's kind of the whole point imo. It's especially interesting because I read the soc duology as a (potentially semi-unintentional?) criticism of capitalism. This is highlighted by the fact that Wylan, the only one of the crows from a rich background, is also the only one who had a childhood and got an education even vaguely comparable to what we would consider normal. So clearly the whole childhood innocence vs being put to work at like 4 thing is closely tied to class. (obviously Wylan did not have A Good Childhood but it seems from the books that the standard for merchers' kids is to give them a really good and varied education with 1-to-1 tutoring etc, which is very different from what all the other characters seem to have had as kids.)
And okay yeah they're unrealistically skillful and competent and just generally smart, but that would be the case even if they were adults. Like you kinda have to just take liberties with your characters of they'll never manage to do anything, especially in a world that's so hostile toward them. And it's actually kinda hard to even say how unrealistic their capabilities are because their experiences are so different from the experiences of real-life modern teenagers. Like kids are crazy adaptable and good at learning things, especially when they've had no other choice, and the crows actually mostly have quite a lot of experience and had time to develop their respective skills because they haven't spent 8+ hours a day in school for most of their lives. The same goes for the degree of adult-ness in their general behaviour - they're really quick thinkers and less likely to panic in a crisis than any teenager I've ever met. Again I'd say that's the whole point. The charaters are acting older than they have any right to because the experiences they've had have forced them to develop the capacity to do so.
Idk maybe i just read it differently to some people but yeah i think that cross-cultrually throughout the grishaverse children just have very very different experiences to kids in real life. It makes sense that they would then grow up to be very different from real-life teenagers, and obviously the crows are an extreme example of that but there is like. clear historical inspiration behind a lot of the crows' backstories and the general cultural backdrop of the duology. And the whole thing with the books is yeah they're doing all of this stuff and they're capable of these amazing things but actually they are literally children and they are doing all of it mostly for the sake of survival and taking back the things that they deserve from the world. And everything they've done for years and the people that they've become has all been for the sake of survival. And they're kids.
#my posts#soc#six of crows#i hope this makes sense i did not proofread it and i took like a total of one english class in school rip#there's also something to be said here for survivor bias like the book is written about this group of kids who've survived in a very#hostile world#partially because of certain capacities or gifts they already had and partially because they are unusually smart and adaptable#if they weren't then they wouldn't have lived to that age anyway yk?#okay ill stop now#also i know this piece of writing is not up to academic quality its because im using it to procrastinate on my academic work#dont go to school kids its not worth it#the fact that i wrote these 800+ words in less than an hour and im still gonna have to write twice as fast in my 4.5 hour exam next week#okay ill stop now im done
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Since when did we start charging money on patreon for fanfics 😭😭😭😭 is this for real😭
hi, love. I haven't seen that many people doing the Patreon thing when it comes to fanfic, but it's pretty common for people who draw for example to set up a Patreon. I believe that everyone who does, just like myself, needs the money. I wouldn't be doing it if i didn't need to. I figured the Patreon setup was the best idea since it's not really that common for people to tip writers, we've been struggling with getting reblogs and comments, so you can imagine.
Right now, I'm applying and doing tests to get an internship, which still won't be enough because I'm also trying to apply for a master's. So, yeah, I'm really thankful for everyone who tipped me on ko-fi and subscribed to my Patreon, last month my savings were over, and the Patreon money was what helped me pay for some medical stuff I needed (Idk if you saw the whole mick schumacher's sick club, but yeah — huge thank you for everyone who subscribed/donated btw).
We often see fic writers as little robots who don't eat, drink, or sleep. We request stuff, and expect an instant reply, and when we get the content we don't even go back to the page to tell the writer our thoughts. We don't reblog, nor leave comments, but still, we expect them to keep writing and keep sharing everything as if it didn't take hours, sometimes days to come up with a 1k piece polished to what we think readers will like best. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm just trying to make a point because I'm tired of seeing writers deactivating, tired of seeing my friends getting writer's block and then people still demanding things.
On top of that, I'm still posting a lot here, from smau to blubs and long fic requests (and I won't even talk about how some pieces aren't even getting a hundred notes, which always makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, if my writing is bad, or if there's anything that I could do to make the reader's experience more enjoyable), and it takes a lot of time, it's even harder to balance the two profiles now, but still, I keep sharing some of my work for free. so please, please, don't make me feel bad about needing money. thanks ❤️.
#I'm still searching like crazy for the best internship that gives me enough time to study for my application and enough money to pay for +#the stuff that I really need#medical bills are expensive#school books and stuff are expensive#we do what we can#and I say we including other writers that relly on donations too#anyways#Im sorry for letting my heart run wild here but I really needed to share this because I'm tired#and I do feel a bit guilty some days for sharing paid stuff because I wanted everyone to read what I post#wanted everyone to enjoy it and gush with me about college!mick and ghost!lewis and so on#but right now that's the best way I found to deal with my current situation#so please please try seeing your writers side#and on top of that make sure youre supporting the people that are here everyday putting their hearts on each piece#and I mean support as in reblog and let them know you liked it and so on#if you can support someone with money thats great#but most of the times a comment and a reblog will make the writers days#it makes mine#I wish you guys could see the smile on my face whenever someone comes back like “hey Im the one who requested x and I loved it”#anyways Im sorry for ranting#I hope I did not come across as rude again#and Im not saying you don't reblog or support your writers this is more of a widely rant#<3#millies inbox#anon#patreon#f1 fandom
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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
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#goddamn i love when i have a good interview 🥰#happens more often than not at this point in my career but man#i dont know if i ever would have gotten to this point without a piece of advice i read a few years back#no idea where i saw it but it literally changed my life lmao#but here it is: when you're in an interview...#you are already at an advantage#because the person interviewing you doesn't want to continue to have to interview people...#they want YOU to be the one they're looking for#they WANT to like you#just think about that for a second!!!!#and of course this is assuming that they dont already have someone else in mind and are just interviewing by obligation#but you didnt stand a chance for that job anyway so... might as well assume that you have the shot#i swear this whole idea changed my entire perspective once i really internalized it lol#ESPECIALLY after i started giving interviews myself!! (if your job ever gives you the opportunity to give interviews TAKE IT)#because i had PROOF of the concept lmao like it was really fucking true!#i really did want every person i interviewed to be The One!#like we had a problem: need to hire a person#every interview was an opportunity for that problem to be solved#it's not like school where no one cares if you do well because it's ultimately your business#like when people are trying to hire they WANT YOU TO SUCCEED IN THE INTERVIEW#REMEMBER AND INTERNALIZE THAT!#unless you get saddled with a gatekeeping dickhead in which case you're dodging a bullet anyway#because a company who will put the gatekeeping dickhead in interviews is either evil or stupid lmao
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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sometimes I think about how far I’ve come as a writer (not on here; like. In the big boy world) and then i remember that for a good chuck of my life I thought “content” was “contempt” and questioned other people who questioned me for its use in a piece, and subMITTED ACTUAL PAPERS WITH THAT MISTAKE???
#I’m a writer and I went to school for it but no one eVER CORRECTED ME???#AND I GO BACK AND REREAD OLD PIECES HERE OR OLD DRAFTS AND IM LIKE 🤡🤡🤡🤡#LIKE WHICH ONE OF YOU FLAT FOOTS DID ME SO DIRTY#‘this scene was happy why is it contempt? what’s the character thinking?’#‘uhhhh actually the character is very happy. duh.’#LIKE NO YOU GOOFY ASS
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my graduation is looking like it's halfway to being a family reunion for some reason 😭😭😭 I am loved etc etc yay but also lmfaoooo
#very good portion of my dad's side of the family is coming down for it apparently lol#only people who aren't are my cousins. which makes sense cause they'll all be also graduating or just still in school at the time#but my mom's side of the family is already here in florida so they'll be coming and then my grandparents on my dad's side will be here#and the child free aunt and uncle too like ok we're getting the band back together!! apparently#just funny like oh everybody? did they want to see the new pool we have be honest#this is probably funny to me though cause I can't see the appeal of my own graduation#like you're gonna watch some people make some speeches at least one teenager is gonna have a really bad short performance#and then you'll watch me walk across a stage for a piece of paper. yayyyyyy
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my mother a year ago: just one more hard year.
my mother a month ago: just one more hard month.
my mother a week ago: just one more hard week.
my mother a day ago: one more hard day.
mum i did it. i made it. im ok.
#i will never be able to put into words how great full i will be for my mother#she is truely a wonderful woman#my number supporter#shes reminded me time and time again to just keep going#and here i am at the end of that really really hard year.#i did it#i made it#a little ruffled and a little cracked but i made it in one piece#im ok#my thoughts#poetry#on life#thoughts#quotes#i love you#<3#graduation#im graduating#school#final exams#exams#they are done!#im done#i finished#13 years of the same place at the same time learning the same things and im finally finished#ill worry about the rest later#exams are over#my writing#my mother
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you guys are not ready for this grian I drew however the wifi here is shit and tumblr won’t let me post it so you’re spared for now
#10piecetalks#I’m really happy with it vv excited#just a sketch atm but I might paint him…….#slight rant in the tags here but schools been kicking my ass and I’ve been so tired lately and had a hard time#making time for doing art and I haven’t been happy with some of the things I’ve made as of late#but I really like the drawing I made last night and the one I did just now and idk it’s just very nice to make a full on finished art piece#that im actually happy with#everyone say thank you to grian for absolutely obliterating my art block
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Living life yay huzzah yay
#a#I have beef with my school. am I happy here? absolutely. do I think we are beyond lame for not having an actual guy? 100%#letters don’t count!!!!!!!! having a capital letter for your school doesn’t count!!!!!!!!!!#like it’s not even a complete absence of a team no just like a silly little physical guy than runs across the field#and can be all cute on stuff on shirts and be stuffed animals it’s the marketing potential they’re missing out on#though I guess I’d rather have no physical dude than one which sucks complete ass I’m talking about pen state fuck that guy#I need to watch the gnomes again wait oh my fucking god I was thinking like damn I did the gnomeo juliet ace attorney moment#but my brain is knee deep in hellsing so idk how to connect them but bruh every piece of media has some form of rivals#I’m not emotionally invested in andercard but the idea of Catholic and Protestant gnomes is really funny#and they’re already British!! lovely!!! at some point in college I need to use gnomes for a grade I can’t let that be a high school only bit#did you know that gnomeo and Juliet is technically owned by Disney? add that to your marvel cinematic universe#oh gnomeo and Juliet poster we’re really in it now#did you know that the version of hello hello that’s in the movie featuring lady Gaga is not on streaming services? they take lady Gaga out#it’s really unfortunate the echos and duet aspect make the song it’s not just one or the other it’s Two Gnomes!!#have two exam grades back that I have not looked at out of fear#either they’ll be bad and I’ll watch hellsing to make myself feel better Or they’ll be good and I’ll watch hellsing as a reward#unrelated but it looks like a gutter on the other side of my dorm got busted and I’m trying to figure out if it’s always been like that#maybe it has and I’m not a gutter glorifier like I thought I was…. rip observational skills#I have a group project I have to work on and it’s evil I do not enjoy the class and it’s not very lgbt slay girlboss of me#but god dammit I am not filling out a fucking gender unicorn for your class that’s between me and my tumblr drafts from 2019#it gets a credit out of the way and I never have to take it again I am so strong#man what does it say about society that I’m more excited about Econ than wgs (it says nothing the Econ professor is just goofy and fun)#(also he does more than read off of slides and show those like buzzfeed social experiments)#but none of that is important since next week is when things get fucked and I’ll end up with more free time! yay strikes!!#update: made it back from project zone those fuckers held me hostage using social norms#it’s okay though I’m sooo strong and brave#talkingcore
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the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome
#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but#omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i#paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!!#and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great#that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂#purrs#literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and#it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a#and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents#house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which#means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll#have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these#renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and#cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s#comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep#being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is#mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also#create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go#anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow#and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.
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You know how do teachers get away with so much like. Blatant bullying? I was just thinking about my middle school experience and realizing that if another student would’ve behaved towards me as the teachers did, they would’ve been called to the principals office and punished.
#schooling#teachers#I remember I was absent due to allergy rhitinus chronic fatigue (my living situation was unhealthy for how allergic I am to everything)#(and how asthmatic I am)#and my 8th grade world geo teacher talked shit about me the entire class period#and I only found out because my friends were like hey bro I hate to ruin your day but like. here’s footage of this teacher#basically telling the class what an incompetent piece of shit you are and talking about your grades#Walt talks#I did end up reporting that teacher because not only did she bully me but she also used to single out my disabled and very out gay friend#a LOT#to be a shithead to him#and she did get written up but she faced no penalty which is fucked but yeah ?#that’s just one of many many situations where either I got hurt or I witnessed a peer being hurt and I don’t understand#how they basically abuse these kids and get away with it
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Hello!!! I want to talk about weezer but im too shy! I wish i had more weezer friends
AWW ANON NO WORRIES!!! i was like that too!! best thing ive found is to just comment + interact w weezer fans on tiktok, like maladroitlover579 is super duper nice! :D people r very very nice on tiktok , but of course u could always dm me and we can talk abt weezer all you’d like !
#weezer#ask!#this goes for all followers!!! i love chatting in dms :)#SORRY FOR LACK OF PISTS TODAY I WAS W MY BOUFRIEND CUZ KT WAS OUR 1 YEAR !#will add details soon!#OKAY HAI this is hour later! i was practicing for ohana! my school has a team and hopefully i’ll be able to join it :)#am real religious (catholic) because of my grandma#and though i don’t always do long prayers; just short ones before i sleep; i did a long one today praying i can get into the ohana team!#it’s so fun and i feel very pretty when i do it + my boyfriend will do haka#but anyways! today was our anniversary and k got him bunch of candy + chips + coke + a photo of us + a booklet i made for him! it had a note#word search; crossword; math equation (he’s a real math whiz; he’s in ap calc bc as a junior! im in pre calc for ref)#and yeah!!! i drew me and him also in the scott pilgrim art style since he likes it a lot; but ya! he loved it but i ordered this knuckles#keychain on etsy; but it won’t get here for a while; but that’s okay! i’ll surprise him with it! he got me a TON OF MR GOODBARS OMG GUYS#LIKE 55 PIECES WORTH OF MR GOODBARS#they’re my fav candy; so he got me lots of those chocolates :D and he got me a HUGE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TJAG MAKE A HEART!! and it says#‘te amo lyss’ LIKE AWWWWW 🥹🥹 and he made me a little box that he had coded n such that said happy anniversary and that he loves me n all#i can show the picture if you all would like! it’s super cute but i look silly LOL#i love my boyfriend#needing weezer friends is kinda why i started this blog LOL#maybe anon u start a blog n we could interact !#what if we were tumblr blogs who interacted…. us in a diff universe#OR THIS ONE IF U WANT 🌞#anyways ya!!! hope you all had a good day#thank you and goodnight#weezer reference
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