#no idea where i saw it but it literally changed my life lmao

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

.

[smolskye]

thought about blue sky again. over 10 years since i read it and it's still so good. it's influenced my writing a lot but not enough because i'm not nearly at that level. the way it made me feel SO MUCH in just a few chapters. one of if not my number one favorite redemption arc where someone known for their selfishness and cowardice realizes the value in doing the right thing even at the cost of his life, where he does so out of love for someone even though he doesn't expect her forgiveness. also a REALLY interesting way of putting a robot in a "human" body (and then a real human body later). i read a lot of other portal fics back in the day and this is one of like.....2 or 3 that i go back to. maybe one day i'll be able to make something that causes as many emotions and sticks to me as much as blue sky did

[thebirdsandthebats]

Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:

UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)

So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe

Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)

Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.

In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.

I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)

So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.

So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.

But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.

And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.

And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.

And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.

So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.

And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.

So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:

[goatyuuji]

JJK CHAPTER 261 AND MY THOUGHTS:

Soooooo this chapter was not for everyone lmao but if you ask me personally I am enjoying the direction in which the story is finally moving..261 has so many themes that just hit so hard bro, but I would be breaking them down into just 3 parts (because I would yap for another 3k words otherwise):

1. Breaking the cycle (remains unbroken):

Let’s start with the first person who tried to break the cycle: Toji. Toji, a man blessed with no cursed energy, born in a clan that probably abused him for that fact, tried to break the cycle of curse energy = strength mentality by killing Gojo even when he didn’t have to, he did not have to kill Gojo at all his mission was over, money was paid, he could have left he could have run but no he fights because he wants to prove to the world, to himself, and to the zenin clan that hated his very existence that “look a monkey like me with no cursed energy can take down the pinnacle of jujutsu look”…and we all know how it ends and the cycle continues with the zenin clan still being obsessed with the 10 shadows and Maki (and Mai) being treated like shit.

The second person who tried to break the cycle was: Geto. Geto realized after a failed mission, how little value a sorcerer’s life has in the eyes of a non-sorcerer even when those sorcerers dedicate their entire lives to saving them. He envisioned a world without curses where his fellow companions wouldn’t have to sacrifice their lives to save lives of people that don’t give two fucks about them. He realised how fucked up the jujutsu society really is, how fucked up the higher ups are and how they have no qualms about sending young sorcerers to their deaths. He also starts struggling with the ugliness of humanity and non-sorcerers and their ignorance. And so he tried to change that, he tried to make the world a better place for his friends and fellow sorcerers but he lost his ideals, his mortality and his humanity following the path he chose and in the end lost to a person who was soooo similar to him, who just wanted to save his friends too and prove to himself he deserved to live. And so the cycle continues with the higher ups using and abusing the young sorcerers, and the ones in power not giving a shit about what happens as long as they are comfortable (putting a kill order on Yuuji, making binding vow with Yuuta to kill Yuuji, suspending Hakari and Kirara, killing Yaga, etc).

The third person who tries to break the cycle is: Gojo. Gojo who saw his best friend leave him behind, not just physically but in terms of ideology, who saw his best friend become a monster in order to create a world where his friends and companions can live to their fullest and laugh from the bottom of their hearts, follow an idea so insane that even he couldn’t make sense of, he couldn’t catch up to him, couldn’t catch up to his ideas…so what does he do, he becomes a teacher. He guides young minds and fosters strong people that can overturn the way jjk society works and creates a group of people so strong that they can never be left behind, that will never feel what he felt. But all this crumbs when he comes back after his sealing, Gojo knows he still doesn’t possess the power to change the society the way he wants and if he is gone there is a vacuum in the jjk society that the higher ups can easily use to exploit…and so he kills them, kills them so that the Shibuya incident aftermath (read: Yuuji almost dying, Yaga being dead, Gojo getting framed as a traitor) can not be created again looping back to Geto’s departure and the way he killed an entire village (and for me personally it even loops back to when Gojo expressed his desire to kill the cult members clapping for Riko’s death).

2. Exploitation of the strongest:

Nanami, Higuruma, Junpei all of them are few examples that show themes of exploitation in jjk but there is this cycle of exploitation of the strongest that literally just…it’s too delicious okay:

Geto and Kenjaku - Every single Kenjaku victim deserves their own exploitation post but Geto was probably one of his best hosts since firstly, Geto was a special grade sorcerer and in Kenjaku’s own words “Special Grade rank signifies the ability to single-handedly overthrow nations, that obviously true for Gojo Satoru but Suguru Geto can also wield a Grotesque army through his cursed manipulation (ch. 203)”, and secondly his curse technique can literally allow him to claim any unclaimed curse which is just bonkers. But not only that, oh no no no the ultimate trump card that Kenjaku uses Geto for was to exploit Gojo emotionally. He made a six eyes user doubt his own technique and the funny part is: he was right. Gojo’s six eyes told him that it was Geto Suguru but his soul, HIS SOUL knew otherwise. And that emotional trump card was bigger than what any other host could provide.

Megumi and Sukuna- From the very start of his show, we have seen Sukuna obsess about Megumi and his curse technique. He has even admitted that Megumi, as he grows stronger, can literally defeat him and kill him. For more than 200 chapters we have seen Sukuna devise a plan to make Megumi as his vessel, so that he can get the 10 shadows/Mahoraga. He even exploits Megumi’s curse technique after the body possession to kill off Megumi’s sister and totally submerge his soul into the abyss.

Gojo and Yuuta- The chapter was so good that we looped back to the themes of exploiting the strongest but only this time not one, BUT TWO STRONGEST SORCERERS getting exploited at the same time. On one hand we have Gojo Satoru, who has always been seen as a weapon since the day he was born, been used as a tool by the higher ups, been used and seen as nothing but strength incarnate till the day he took his last breath and getting his body used as a tool again even after his death. He even got emotionally exploited by Kenjaku and his mind games during Shibuya. On the other hand we have Okkotsu Yuta, a kid who didn’t even know he comes from a great dynasty of Jujutsu sorcerers until he accidentally cursed his friend, who meets a guy that saved his life and helped him get back onto his feet almost a year ago…sees the loneliness and isolation that man subjects himself to and wants to help him in return too, he wants him to share the burden and not suffer alone but the man is dead now and there is no one to fill the space he left, no one that can be used as a weapon anymore, no one that can be the monster the sorcerers need to win this fight, so he steps up, he becomes the monster for the story, because he can not let it all go to waste now. Ah the tragedy of not seeing yourself as a human but just a means.

3. Love is the greatest curse of them all:

Yuuta’s story started with him cursing his friend, Rika, because he could not accept her death. He loved Rika, he could not let her go because he loved. He fought Geto Suguru, even tried to sacrifice himself in the end so that his friends could live because he loved and cherished his friends. Love, love, love…In this chapter we see him worry about Gojo because isn’t Gojo doing everything all by his own, even going as far as to stain his hands in blood so that when he is not needed (dead) the rest of the cast does not have to suffer, and so he fills in the shoes of his sensei, a man he respected and loved a lot, he sacrifices himself, his humanity and becomes almost a curse for his sensei because in the end, love is the greatest curse of them all.

[silly-circus]

★SillyString’s story/background★

(Way long overdue lmao and long I’m so sorry guys, also made some edits because I wanted to word some things better)

I want to start off by saying she is me, me is she(Im not sure if I made it clear or not so apologies I’m kinda dumb🫰). I say “her” in my posts instead of “me” because idk it feels right since I make her look differently than I actually do. Even so, we share the same name and I do the clown look all the time when I go out to places that I get an excuse to🧍‍♂️so really it is just me but anyway,,, time to begin! This is my first time actually writing this out so I’m sorry if it’s formatted and explained terribly

First off, Silly String is my persona’s clown name. She came up with it herself, everything else was Pennywise’s idea. She was originally a human, and still looks like one and has the appetite of one(when she changed Pennywise assumed she would want to eat people. He was wrong.) She lived in texas(yee-honk) before moving to Maine literally because she thought “why not?” and ended up in good old Derry. Her life growing up wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t the best. She was always into odd and strange things, or things that most would find creepy(clowns. Love clowns. They’re so cool) so she was kinda outcasted from others at a young age but soon people learned to just let her live in peace which of course she was happy about. She did manage to make some friends, solidarity. After moving, she continued pursuing freelance photography and painting, but her full time job is as a barista in a local coffee shop(wow, how interesting💀).

The way that she met Pennywise was kinda stupid. All she was doing was taking photos of the local wildlife and next thing you know a kid is running by before she notices a fucking weird ass clown creature from hell charging straight towards her(she still snapped a photo before running). He does catch up to her and jumps her. How she managed to not get away, but the kid did, don’t ask me. She survived, her camera unfortunately did not(he gets her a new one eventually guys trust).

since then, they kept bumping into each other. He does try to kill her again but she kept managing to escape him(pissed him off more and more each time) but soon enough he starts to chill out and basically decides to learn more about her. The more she realized he was going to not continuously try eat her every time he visited she would start asking him questions about who he was as an entity and where he came from. It does start out as a weird friendship where he would mess with her at work or appear out of literally no where to hang around. He does start to enjoy her company and watching her do normal, human things since her doing it made it seem entertaining. After a while of slowly getting closer and closer they become loving parters yay(she was still human at this time).

Fast forward and they get “married” which they really call their “eternal binding.” Basically what it means is that she became a part of him. As in if he dies, she dies. She unfortunately didn’t gain any cool shape shifting and such, she just gets to live and thrive as long as he does. When it first happened she was having a hard time with it simply because she’s going to outlive everyone she knows and will continue to, but over time she made her peace with it and saw it as a privilege to watch the world change around her and of course stay with her beloved.

Also the year they met was set in the 1980s, or honestly it could be any time after that or something I don’t know yall get creative I’m just going with the flow.

That is it :) sorry again this is long, and I hope every one has a good day/night(it’s 3 am why do I do this to myself). I also hope you guys continue to follow along with me on their lover clown journey :D

AND- little sneak peek of an upcoming piece I’m working on for Mermay 😙

[voltronisanobsession]

Keith's Glowing Eyes Headcanons

I always liked the idea of Keith having like glowing yellow eyes in the dark because of his galra genes. I’ve seen a couple of posts and fan art of it and I just find it so SILLY💔💔 so I decided imma make my own headcanons of how life would be around the castle with his eyes

First of all, Keith forgets that his eyes tend to 'change' during the night time, specifically when it's dark

During the night when the lights are out, everyone usually stays in their rooms so they have no idea of Keith's little weird galra thing

So imagine Hunk's absolute fear when he decides to go to the kitchen for a late night snack when he sees two yellow eyes staring at him from the darkness of the room

Keith is literally so confused when Hunk starts yelling LMAO

"WHAT ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN?!"

Cue Hunk switching on the lights only to see Keith staring at him in shock

He turns them off and sees yellow eyes where he saw Keith, and then switches the lights back on to see him still staring at him

Hunk does this a few more times before stepping out of the room, deciding food was not worth him almost having a heart attack

Poor Keith had no idea what just happened, homie only wanted a cup of water

Another time this happens is when you spent the night cuddling with him and suddenly woke up

Groggily you wake him, moving to get up and hearing him shuffling awake, you turn around only to be met with yellow eyes looking at you

"OH MY GOSH!"

You're shoving yourself off the bed and stumbling onto the floor because what the HELL was that?!

"Are you ok??"

You watch as the yellow orbs move around and get closer to you

"Keith is that you?? What the hell!"

Cue this dude being confused again cuz he literally has no idea what you were talking about (my clueless man)

"What are you talking about?"

"Your EYES! They're yellow! Are they normally like that?"

It finally hit him on why you and Hunk both reacted the same way when looking at him

"Oh! That makes sense now. Yeah this is normal, my eyes have always been like this since I was little."

"Do you like uh, switch them on?"

"No."

Now that you and Hunk both know about Keith's glow in the dark eyes, you guys definitely share your stories on how you found out

Shiro walks by and hears your conversation and just jumps in too because he understands that jumpscare Keith unknowingly did too!

Pretty soon the others would have their own stories about finding Keith's yellow eyes in the dark

Lance on the other hand fully believes that a ghost is haunting the castle when he sees two glowing eyes in the hallways one night

I can imagine him screaming the whole way back to his room😭😭

I’m just gonna say that Keith can see better in the dark than normal people can😻

[tododeku-or-bust]

Hello, I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now but is there a reason you like tododeku so much? (I’m a casual shipper but I was just wondering if you like it for any greater reasons)

*cracks knuckles*

Well BACK IN THE DAY (as in, I haven't been actively interested in mha since like.... 2021 lmao) it was mainly because the energy that those two had is what I would have wanted from Midoriya and Ochaco when the narrative demanded i ship them.

I recognize people have different standards for what they like out of a romance. And that's fine! But for me, a big thing that I like in a romance is when characters can depend on each other to have their backs, even if it's a 'im gonna yell at you about this stupid ass idea later' thing. I like a romance where both the characters are ride or die in the field, "i don't gotta look to my left bc I know he coming" type shit. Like that person, even if it's all they can do, is there by their partner's side.

And a major question I often found myself asking when I watched Todoroki was "why was this not Ochaco?"

When I watched that tournament arc, I liked what I saw! I liked that Midoriya was willing to get out there and look Todoroki in the face and essentially tell him to do better (in a way that he just refused to tell Bakugou back then lmao, I didn't get it) to the point that it completely changed the trajection of Todoroki's life.

It only built on that for me when the Stain thing happened. When Midoriya put out that text and Todoroki took exactly two seconds to go "hey dad fuck You i'm bout to go help Midoriya bc somethings not right" I mean looked at that phone, made an about face and didn't look back. THATS THE ENERGY I WANT! When they were all trying to figure out to go save Bakugou, and Ochaco said no and Todoroki was team Let's Do It THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!

The movies might have sucked, but every time I got the "Todoroki is Ride or Die for Midoriya" energy that I want!! He literally saw the world news say Midoriya was a criminal and went "here's what we're about to do-" That scene in one of them where he was ice boarding and Midoriya landed behind him? And come on. When he tucked in him and spoke fondly of him after they rescued him for his Dark Deku phase? Why was that Todoroki? Why was that not Ochaco??!?!

Like at this point, Ochacos got her boyfriend Midoriya, and Midoriyas boyfriend Todoroki. Frankly, I always thought Ochaco deserved better writing than her lil corny crush on Midoriya, and I heard she got it, which is good!

And idc at this point if other people disagree bc frankly, I'm not bout to do no damn discourse with that fandom lmao. I don't care. I just know that based on my standards, Todoroki would have been the preferable partner for him. And I said it back then too, if Shouto had been a girl 🤷🏾‍♀️

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 8 ("TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND CRY") EDITION

Oh my gosh, I am shaking my head and just laughing. I have no idea where to start writing this, but it's gonna be damn fun to pick this episode apart.

Because of the clues that Jojo Tichakorn (below) and Ninew Pinya dropped before and during the episode's airing yesterday, my mind was totally on Freddie and Queen. I captured the tweet below and couldn't help but think of lyrics.

And the episode was titled "Save Me"!

Before I go on, I have a little personal note. During my watch of MAME's TharnType, I talked a bit about the bigotry against the queer community that I grew up with in my Indian family. During my childhood, Freddie Mercury was -- everything. He was everything to me. A part-Indian man who blasted past any obstacles that could have held him back to become a superstar, while leveraging unbelievable talent. My dad often wanted to snap my Queen CDs in half to keep Freddie out of our house. Up until I went to college, when a new world of music awaited me, Queen was MY BAND. I'll never forget watching his memorial concert on television in 1992, watching Axl Rose destroy "We Will Rock You," and subsequently watching Axl host a Queen documentary on MTV that got repeated for years and years. This shit was formative to my childhood, and I'm gonna guess, to Jojo's and Ninew's childhoods as well. We be old bags in here.

I'll get back to Freddie in a few minutes. but besides all of the Queen themes (quick note: the dude that Sand was about to make out with was wearing the same costume that Ninew caught in his IG stories, as Freddie sang "Love of My Life"), oh my fucking god, did this episode ever touch upon ephemerality, highs and lows, change, and a resistance to change that people have unto others.

Top and Cheum -- especially Top -- were clutching their pearrrrrllllsss at Mew's changes.

Top and Cheum notice that Mew's trying on a new suit. And Mew admits it! He says to Ray in the bookstore -- after the most BRILLIANT call-out to a BL trope if I ever saw one, the CRACKING of the romantic memories montage, which, omg, are we EVER seeing in Dangerous Romance, like three times a bleeping episode, LMAO -- "I'm bored with myself."

I love -- I hate it, but I love that this episode calls it out -- I love that Top and Cheum are calling this behavior out as if it were a bad thing.

Is it?

.... is it not okay for university students to take a bump of coke if they're curious about it? Barack Obama did it -- and Obama admitted it, AND wrote about it, AND became president, twice. Judge him, I dare ya.

On another side, Nick susses out Boston, and wants to check in with him. Boston wants Nick to go bye-bye. Nick tries a guilt pull. And Boston ain't having it.

Fuck. (Side note, Boston was my man this episode.)

I'm shaking my head in wonder for Mew and Boston to be addressing Top, Cheum, and Nick in this way. We've established (here and here, cc @ranchthoughts and others) that the kind of toxicity that this OF group of friends exhibits is just -- common, and pedestrian, and awful to think about existing, but in part, it's so awful for us to be thinking about it, because actually, it's ever-present in our lives, and so many of us survive dealing with other people on a daily basis by using means by which to ignore or avoid that toxicity, like our addictions to our phones, or addictions to other vices, like sex and drugs -- which takes us right back to Only Friends.

The dynamic I saw happening in this episode was like vultures (the friends) circling their prey (their friends), but instead of the friends eating their friends -- what some of the friends are doing is trying to correct the behavior of their other friends. Top and Cheum want Mew to... go back to being the old Mew, maybe. Nick wants Boston to know -- morally, I think you're a bad person. And Boston says, I paraphrase, "see. if. I. fucking. care." and literally creates the NeoTitle ship before our eyes, lmao, all while walking silently and ignoringly away from Nick.

Top, to Mew, says, "Are you sure?" Are you sure you want to be like this now, Mew? Cheum shares with Top her concern about Mew's changes, and literally teams up with Top to bring Top back to Mew to, what, straighten Mew out?

Last time I checked, Mew's a big boy. Mew's made his decisions to be with Ray, to drink with Ray, to snort coke with Ray. Are those behaviors questionable? Sure. Are they normal behaviors for a university student who is bored with himself, and wants to try something new? 100%.

I have written before, in my review of Theory of Love, that while behavioral change can oftentimes be massively difficult, there's another side to change that needs to be considered. When one person changes -- there are many others within that person's sphere that do not want that specific person TO change. If one individual changes, within a worldview of a group -- that changes a group dynamic. People like Top and Cheum are unsettled that Mew and Ray are dating, and that Mew's getting wasted and high. Are they rightfully concerned for Mew's health? For sure. But what about Mew's agency and happiness? Are the friends understanding that this is actually Mew's choice to do these things, regardless of how the friends judge his specific actions?

The fact that Top and Cheum are questioning Mew's agency, to me, is a ROOT, a FOUNDATION of the awful toxicity of this friend group, BESIDES the general drunkenness of the group, and Ray's particularly contradictory and dangerous behavior. THERE IS NO TRUST IN THIS GROUP.

Top and Cheum do not TRUST Mew -- an adult young man!!!! -- to make his own decisions. Cheum doesn't trust Boston with her little bro (oh, woops on that, big sis). Almost no one trusts Ray, although I'm not sure about Mew on that. Boston doesn't trust Nick. The list goes on.

Without trust, without a foundation of love and respect, without an acknowledgement that individuals within a group have agency to live their lives independently -- what you get in a group dynamic is UTTER mush, just a bucket of vomit like what we're seeing here in Only Friends. I am OBSESSED that Jojo and team are picking this apart SURGICALLY, and asking US to question OUR, the viewers', judgement of all of this. These friends are contradictory as fuck. Boston was SO right to ask Nick: "who are you to judge?" Nick acted as filthily as Boston in violating Boston's privacy and rights -- TWICE, bros, TWICE.

And Top.... @lurkingshan said it the best yesterday when she made sure the girlies knew that what Top was doing TO (NOT FOR, TO) Mew at the end of the episode was not consensual. Welp. Tie up Mew's agency with a bow and throw it out into the fucking dumpster, Top.

I haven't touched as much on the Sand/Ray dynamic in this post, but of characters that are acting at least consistently to their... what, their moral judgements or ethical structures, at least Sand, Ray, and Boston remain consistent in my eyes. Anyone who was surprised at Ray's behavior in this episode -- it was bad and icky, and the episode laid it on thick, but I found his behavior to be expectedly toxic.

This was a two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back episode for Sand, as I see it, as he stepped in to try to keep Ray from going to jail (and how interesting was it that it was Top who ended up sealing that deal). One other note about Sand: the show HAS to be making fun of First's inability to sing, right? That guitar practice in 2/4, oof. And to have Sand dress up as Freddie, one of the most magnificent singers in rock -- ironic. We know that Sand doesn't aspire to be a singer; he just wants to go to festivals, and... that's the right decision, my dude.

Anyway. To bring this back to Freddie and Queen. Talk about shapeshifting. In his 20s in the 1970s, Freddie Mercury started out with long hair and flowing, robe-y costumes. As the 1980s progressed, he took on an identity of a mustachioed, slightly muscular man -- very, very closeted, but clearly gay to anyone who caught the signal.

The dude that Sand was about to make out with at the party? He made a reference to Mary Austin, Freddie's longtime companion and best friend. They were lovers for a short period, before Freddie came out to her. And they remained friends all of the rest of his life. While Freddie died with a longtime lover by his side in Jim Hutton, Mary was always present and devoted to Freddie. Mary's presence often caused consternation with Freddie's lovers, especially after his death, what with inheritance controversies. But no one ever questioned Mary's loyalty, and her commitment to keeping Freddie's identity secret and safe.

Freddie and Mary's friendship was in part a protective arrangement for his life in the closet. He only revealed he had AIDS the day before he died. But Freddie claimed the friendship, claimed agency to it, and wanted it in his life. The friendship was steady, and never wavering.

Quite the opposite of the devotions, or lack thereof, in this group. These young folks are demonstrating NORMAL resistance to watching each other change. But while that resistance is normal... it doesn't make it all the less toxic. I'm afraid that as of right now, I read that all of these friends want to sell each other out for the sake of their own selfish desires, and for the benefit of their own worldviews alone.

HAPPY SUNDAY, Ephemerality Squad, if we can be happy after this demonstration of toxicity, ha! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @lurkingshan @twig-tea @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad @neuroticbookworm @elizabethsebestianhedgehog @thatgirl4815

[bugflies00]

ok so this isnt a particularly profound headcanon or anything but its been sitting in the back of my mind for like, two years now. you know how ctubbo is technically blonde in canon, but everyone draws him with dark brown hair? ok, so, as people get older, their hair tends to get darker (if its not already dark brown)

(sciencey explanation for this if youre interested: basically, you have two melanin types contributing to your hair color--eumelanin (makes hair darker) and pheomelanin (makes hair redder). as you get older, the melanocytes (cells that produce melanin) start to change behavior and produce more eumelanins. i dont think we're entirely sure why, but it has to do with hormonal changes, among other things)

but anyway. do you think that, in the early days of the dsmp, in the early days of L'manburg, Tubbo's hair was bright, bright blonde--a mop of hair to match Tommy's, even rival it? From a distance, it wasn't hard to mistake one from the other.

Through the pogtopia arc, Tommy's hair stays as blonde as ever, but Tubbo's starts to darken noticeably, and by the time Wilbur's put a crater in the heart of L'manburg, it's a full-on dirty blonde.

I don't remember how long exactly it was between Tommy's exile and the next time he saw Tubbo, (call me cranboo the way i. uh. forget), but do you think that when he did, he almost didn't recognize him--Tubbo's hair was as dark as Wilbur's, as Schlatt's. what if, like, his hair got darker a lot faster once Manburg happened and once his becoming president happened--he was put in a position where he was forced to grow up fast, to grow into his boots. i mean that wouldnt happen in real life but whateverrrr

wait actually i just had another idea have you ever seen those pictures of us presidents before and after their presidency and they look like wayyyy older even if they only served a four year term? do you think it was like that? like, it was still tubbo, sure, but that small bit of stubbornly remaining baby fat was gone from his face. the scar from his execution at the festival was no longer that angry red; it had long since resolved itself into something calmer: a bitter, pale pink. When Tommy looks at him, it's hard to reconcile what he sees with the Tubbo he remembers.

this got really long. uh. sory. thank you for coming to my ted talk. my tub[bo] talk if you will. thumbs up emoji

oh i do know about the blonde darkening thing, it happened to me!! i had hay blonde hair as a kid and now im a light-medium brown lmao. but YESSS ABSOLUTELY oh my god the idea of ctommy leaving ctubbo looking almost like twins and coming back to see him looking an entirely different person..... grown up even physically.... GOD and the fact that ctubbo changes while ctommy remains the same always and forever is AHJWHGHJE literally right on theme . god . im obsessed with this ur so right this is canon now

[creepylittlelady]

wait, I don't understand why fanon Masky is so hated?? /genq (I was never really that interested in him tbh so I only know shit about him.)

OKAY, I can answer this one!

I'm happy that the whole fandom turned around on Fanon Masky recently (at least, I believe it must have been recently considering Cheesecake Masky was a thing before I 'left' the fandom), since that version of him is a bit problematic lol

If you've watched Marble Hornets, then you'll know that Masky and Hoody are REALLY scary (seriously, I had nightmares about Masky for absolute weeks), and work against the Operator. However 'fanon' Masky is a loyal employee of Slenderman/The Operator (I'm gonna make a post addressing the differences one day), and isn't really all that scary?? From what I remember, he was mainly joked about as being the 'Sensible one' of the Proxy trio (Him, Hoody and Toby), who was basically the dude always tired of their bullshit. Not only is this the complete opposite of how Masky is, as he would NEVER work FOR his enemy, who literally ruined his life from childhood, but it also sort of flanderised him and no longer made him scary, which is something the Creepypasta fandom tends to do a lot lmao

Another thing is his sudden change of character design. A lot of old Creepypasta fanart depicting him from 2013-2017 show him with lighter brown hair and a yellow jacket, which isn't what he looks like at all?? Actual Masky has much darker hair and I don't think he's ever seen with that ugly ass highlighter coloured jacket.

There's also the complete change in his body type, definitely one of the most controversial things about Fanon Masky. Let me first say that I do not believe that Tim Sutton (Masky's original actor) is fat, I'm not sure WHERE the old Creepypasta fandom got that idea from. Fandom in general, especially the Creepypasta fandom, is quite 'fatphobic' from my experience. What this basically means is that if you're not a skinny twink you will be body shamed in every way possible. The Creepypasta character market has always been oversaturated with men who basically were twinks, with slim and pale bodies, such as Jeff the Killer.

I believe that making Masky so thin came from the fact that when the Creepypasta fandom really took off around 2013-ish, a lot of Creepypasta fans looked for content and eventually I believe that a lot of them must have stumbled across Marble Hornets. Upon seeing Masky and Hoody, two characters that could have passed off as Creepypasta characters (as most of the other characters in Marble Hornets looked like ordinary people), the fandom probably adopted them and adapted them to 'their tastes', no matter how good they were or not. It might have also been a game of telephone too, as maybe a Creepypasta fan's friend of a friend told them some info about Masky and they misunderstood and instead of who Masky actually was, saw him more as the silly goofy masked guy. And to be honest, I don't think the Creepypasta fandom has ever really been known for actually doing their research, so that misconstrued version of him just became canon in everyones minds.

Not that it was always that innocent though...

One titular thing about fanon Masky was his strange love of Cheesecake. I myself saw a lot of it in 2016 sewed into every bit of content for his character, and was confused on where it came from. Then, I found out that it was meant to be a joke SHAMING him for 'being fat'. I originally stumbled across this for the first time in a satire comic, where one of the panels is Hoody chastising Masky for eating cheesecake, stating that Masky will become fat. The cheesecake joke is one I've seen in some fandoms before, albeit in different ways and with different foods. For the life of me I cannot figure out why everyone decided to associate him with Cheesecake, but everyone just did.

Fanon Masky is a perfect example on how fandoms can flanderise characters to the point where they're unrecognisable; pull up a picture of Masky in the Marble Hornets and then a Masky fanart from 2015. The difference is STAGGERING. The Creepypasta fandom is very much infamous for flanderising characters, such as making Jeff a misunderstood bad boy, Toby a waffles-obsessed manchild, and Masky a Slenderman-loving, Crayons and Paper-having, Toby-hating, Cheesecake-eating twink.

TL;DR: Fanon Masky was made as a shitty misconstrued fat joke.

[missveryvery]

Have you watched episode 1 of tgcf season two yet? 👀

Are you kidding. It's literally the only thing that's keeping me alive. Now my life is "hold out until Wednesday, buddy, we can do this."

I'm not sure but I think they fixed up the animation from the preview we got before (like a million years ago) of the scene where they're all assembling because I remember thinking "oh no they lost their budget" and now the scene looks like "here are a hundred gods we made look incredible just for the background"

(Still salty about Mu Qing's hair getting nerfed, make it bigger you cowards)

The part where Pei Ming is about to kick Pei Xiu came off as cartoony in the book but they made it really intense here! I guess because they're trying to hide his clown nose for as long as possible.

I feel very gratified that I was correct that the person we saw for a split second in the preview FROM BEHIND was in fact sqx and my brain worms have again served me well.

I think if I was watching this and had no idea what the story was, I'd think sqx was another love interest because holy shit. The way they shot Shi Qingxuan after transformation where her hair falls and her eyes are locked on him is from Xie Lian's POV, right? Three people have "hair that falls prettily" scenes in this and it's Hua Cheng, Xie Lian, and Shi Qingxuan.

Gif set by @murcielaguitos

They're really going "she's BEAUTIFUL" and you can get the impression that even Xie Lian thinks so. I love the way Shi Qingxuan is looking at him here and her cute smile ; ; like "see? :)"

This is the first time I realized how massive her boobs are. They're INSANE. I really like how Shi Qingxuan's other form is so different! I like to think the trans color scheme is on purpose but idk if they care about flag stuff in China? I don't want to like, push that on them.

In the book, there are a couple people Xie Lian remarks as being attractive, I think Shi Qingxuan is the only lady?

Also the shot earlier of Shi Qingxuan glancing at Xie Lian's chest like ":) I could put some ginormous bazoons there for you, friend"

(Lmao, He Xuan is so fucking stupid 😭 what kind of idiot...?!?? This could have been yours, you absolute clown.)

I was surprised they kept Lan Chang!!! Like wow you're gonna do that part, huh?!

The presentation of the mission's circumstanses also gave me a theory about why Shi Qingxuan was sent with Xie Lian on this specific mission...!

I saw someone talking about how lonely the opening of Xie Lian waking up seemed. But then he gets such a cute friend...! That's so similar to him! It's so nice to see him happy. I like to think that if Hua Cheng didn't exist and all that other background shit wasn't happening, Xie Lian's third go around might have been nice, Shi Qingxuan could have gotten him settled in, reconciled with the clown boys, etc.

The way he looks at Lang Qianqiu ;0;!! he's like "My baby ;0;"

Also losing my mind over this rando. I need to see what the uniforms for each god looks like or I'll die. Why was this dude so well designed and animated ;0;! I love him?!? So exasperated with his dumbass god ;0;

[splendidbadger]

I read the tags on the ROTTMNT villains reblog, do you have more any scenarios and ideas for the villians? ANYTHING will do, they’re so fun and intriguing but the fandom overlooks them constantly.

Oh, I'm so glad you asked!!! I love the villains sooo much that I'm making an Ask blog revolving around them opening a bar lmao. I'm happy to see others who are invested.

Headcanons

Repo Mantis

I feel he was the first to be mutated with normal he acts like he gives no shit he's a mutant and we see him deal with humans. In my AU it's due to the fact he was mutated years before ROTTMNTs start. I mean he is not weirded out by the boys, he clearly knows Yokai exists. I have it set so he started doing work in the Hidden City and Draxum saw a nice unmutated human to experiment on and bam mantis man.

Repos trans too, idk man he's my favorite outside of Todd and you know? He's like me frfr. Repo def doesn't strike me as a top surgery guy, but also I feel his mutation helped his dysphoria a LOT because like I mean I've felt that.

Man is also very obsessed with his hair, and uses a lot of products. Doesn't care he's greying but he DOES care how healthy it is.

Repo can and will do drag. (Warren helps with his makeup and wig due to his claws getting in the way)

Hypno

Here's a lil angst one.

Hypno doesn't realize he fused with Doug. I can't remember the episode name, but it's the one in the botanical gardens where we get the flower mutant. We see that humans can literally be fused with plant life and possibly animal life. Also since we know Hypno wants to bring Doug back to life, hes passed away. Given that Doug was Hypnos hippo, and was most likely with him when he was bit, he doesn't realize he's been fused with his buddy.

He just knows his buddy is gone and he'll never see him again. That or he fully knows but is in denial. Warren buys him merch based on Doug as a way to make him feel better, since he's not the greatest at comforting people.

and some non angst headcanons

Hypno doesn't really have a label. He knows he's queer but doesn't care to label himself. He likes who he likes, and that's all that matters.

Hypno does drag a lot!!!! He LOVES doing drag! It's fun for him, and how he expresses himself!

A lil senario thing

Imagine that Repo was actually a fan of Warren Stone as an anchorman, imagine he enjoyed his jokes and commentary. Repos devastated he went missing, and genuinely invested in keeping up with anyone trying to find him. When he discovers his favorite anchors alive and not dead he's thrilled.

Due to the fact we know everyone Warren knew pre-mutation abandoned him he doesn't trust Repo, not at first. After all Hypnos is the only one who takes him seriously or seems to give a shit about him especially after he bungled everything with April. (He feels guilty about that gauntlet situation I will die on this hill.) So naturally he doesn't believe Repo at first. Repos pretty hurt, but man he gets it. These changes are big but he promises he's a fan and even knows other fans too.

Repo ends up taking Warren and Hypno to meet the others, sure they met when Draxum "hired" them but it was just a job and they didn't really to much time to talk after they got into action. I like to think Warrens was genuinely touched to see he has a fan base. I'm fully convinced post Warren and Hypno Sitting in a Tree Todd got Warrent a job as a Hidden City news anchor. Sure it's not what he had, but it IS something, and these yokai? They love him even if he's a worm-

[disappointing-my-kid]

Im sorry I think I heard someone say angel Luigi? Like oddly born with wings? Learns to hid them? Magic? Maybe some sort of creature that latched on to baby Mario’s cries as a child? Shifted to match him but has the wings? Maximum Ride vibes? Hmmmmm. Trigun vibes? Maybe a lil bit of both!

Ok hear me out. But I warn you this isnt my typical post. Im tired and cold so it’s a mess but maybe ill clean it up later. Who knows.

Mario’s family was super freaked out at first but accepted it cause of how much it helped Mario. Like maybe he was sickly as a baby but this odd creature who looks like him is helping. Doctors told him he was gonna die. Now it’s a miracle. So they just raise Luigi too. Well guarded family secret. Maybe thats why Mario is so protective of his brother. Their mother believes Luigi an angel sent to save her lil baby boy. Their father thinks him a demon who will one day eat their little boy. Why else would it be helping if not for it’s next meal he claims. Luigi has no idea why he was sent here. Never a good enough reason for their father. Maybe their mother and Mario are the only two who really accept Luigi, rest of family share the fathers pov.

Idk how to tie this into bowuigi but just let me think of the middle part for now think of the end game!

Bowser finds an injured winged Luigi. Slap that man in a bird cage. Oops thats Luigi’s biggest fear. (Did you papa traumatise you Luigi or was it just me) anyway mans having a horrible time at all the bird puns. Yoikes hes heard those before get creative Bowser smh. Oops did he say that outloud? Well now Bowser is pissed. Someone is lucky their so pretty up in that cage. Oops did he say that outloud? Well now Luigi is blushing. GET THIS MAN SOME SKIPPY CLOTHING AND A GOLDEN CAGE NOW! Well now Luigi is mortified and horrified. Hes just a decoration now. Or a pet! Awww maybe they can give him a little collar. Oh how humiliating. Whats he got left now? Probably no more tears at this point. Hey Bowsers new pet doesn’t look so good. Oops someone stopped eating. Maybe actually be nice idk man you killing Luigi from the inside. Look at those soulless eyes. You did that Bowser you happy?

Cut to Bowser trying to bring some life back to Luigi. Awww hes making sure hes ok. Getting him food. An actual bed? A room? Who said the beast doesn’t have a heart? This is how Luigi remembers the story. Though he doesn’t understand why Bowser had a change. Of course Bowser saw the soulless eyes of someone begging for death and realised he done fucked up. Of course he never thought he would have greenie over this long anyway. Wheres that red pain in his side. It’s been ages? (Oops Mario is injured and thats why Luigi had his wings out. From protecting his brother. Maybe ill put Mario in a coma for sillies)

Anyway ever so slowly Luigi gets some pep back in his step. Though hes clearly more reserved. The kids (yes plural) helped. But Bowser can see the longing in Luigi’s eyes. The way the man just looks to the sky like an old friend. They had just started really getting along too. But if you love something set it free right? So he does. And Luigi doesn’t even hesitate. The moment he is uncollared (yea baby thats last to go lmao) and outside. The moment Bowser tells him to go he just takes off. As fast has those beautiful wings can take him. Can I get an F in the chat for Bowser and his broken heart.

Luigi is frantic to see how his brother is. Consumed with worry almost his whole stay in Bowsers castle. He could feel their link, their bond, and knew his brother needed him. Of course once he reaches Mario and grasps his hand Mario wakes up. Awww brotherly love (and nothing else ya goobers) is a magical sight. Literally Luigi is glowing and has wings. Neat says princess Peach.

Maybe once he is sure his brother is oi he can feel love sick about Bowser. And misses the kids. Now it’s Mario’s turn to see the longing look in Luigi’s eyes. Mario’s turn ti tell Luigi it’s ok to just go. Though he better tell his brother whats going on when he gets back. But maybe since im such a kind god ill make it painful for Luigi to show his wings. Like painful when they sprout. So he just walks to Bowsers castle. Who is probably smad. Lmao hes sad and mad. Though word filtered in of Mario being in a coma and he figured thats why Luigi needed to go. Anyway hes probably relieved to see Luigi back. So relieved he can feel mad about not even getting a goodbye. Oopsies. But they will make it. Im sure of it.

Ok I know this post is a mess but man I had to get this idea out of my head. I wanna draw it. And I just might.

[venbetta]

This is Tumblr, we're all wild animals with zoomies. Please share your thoughts.

You right... you're so right

Time to vomit all of my thoughts then-

I’m gonna have to be so sparring with the pictures due to the 10 image limit *sob* whatever i'll figure it out,,

Also I'm gonna say this- Freddy isn't possessed by Michael Afton in this. I don't mind Glammike, but I love the idea of Freddy just becoming a “deviant” I guess. Robots becoming human. They should totally make a game or something… wink wink.

I'm gonna just dig into the lyrics and breakdown my thought process for some of the frames… (I'm not doing every lyric, only some that stood out)

So, the meaning of “My Way” is based around self determination, that's the basic gist. I personally interpreted it as individualism, seeing how the lyrics have certain phrases based around it.

I had heard this song at the beginning of this year and immediately thought of Freddy. I also remember hearing the ai cover version at one point… (moving on)

And it was pretty obvious that most people agreed that this was his song.

Let's break it down >:]

And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

I started the scene with Freddy walking on the third floor atrium, and I guess I took “I face the final curtain” literally since he's looking at the main stage lmao

My friend, I'll say it clear

Small side note, it's literally the most miniscule detail, but I felt like he was referring to Bonnie when he said “my friend” … It doesn't help that he's on the same floor as Bonnie Bowl.

I've lived a life that's full

Freddy reflecting about his “life” performing alongside his friends, I specifically added Chica because she's one of the remaining members of the original trio. :)

Regrets I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption

This verse was the best way to describe Freddy's situation. He had to not only escort this kid around the pizzaplex but he had to make sure Gregory wouldn't get hurt. He didn't want to hurt his friends but he couldn't let them hurt Gregory either. While it's shown that the other glamrocks were shattered, him saying he has regrets, I thought about whether or not he did the shattering himself or it was Gregory.

I mean, canonically, it was all Gregory's doing, Freddy was an accomplice… (sort of), but in the back of my mind, a messed up part of me wanted it to be Freddy's doing. Especially when we get to the confrontation scene. Honestly it can be interpreted both ways. I've read a fic where Freddy killed his friends… very gruesome but badass.

Anyways have a Freddy ear wiggle... cutest fucking thing ever.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all, and I stood tall

And did it my way

Another one of those verses where I went fucking crazy and said “THAT'S HIM.”

So as it's seen in the animatic, Freddy is trying to keep Gregory safe. Gregory was originally going to be in his stomach hatch during this fight scene, but as I mentioned, Freddy wouldn't have wanted him to be in serious danger, so.. I changed it to him carrying Gregory.

“I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew” refers to Gregory being aware of how much he was in danger, and Freddy deciding to bite the bullet towards confronting his friends. Even if it meant someone was going to get hurt.

“When there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out.” God, I loved drawing Freddy clenching his fists. The hesitancy before just accepting that he has to protect Gregory at all costs. Maybe I took some of the lyrics and made them slightly literal? Idk. Either way, this scene was powerful, especially when he and Monty clashed together.

“I stood tall” to me shows how Freddy was no longer going to let his soft persona get in the way. This part was just very fun to draw and put together… :3

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now, as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

Once again Freddy is thinking about his friends and life, I found this part kind of hard? Originally I wanted him to be surrounded by his friends, and have it fade to just him standing alone, but I didn't like how it was drawn lol. I improvised and had it be a poster instead.

Also there's something heartbreaking about how he examines his plushie. “I find it all so amusing”, I interpreted that as him being melancholic about the situation, looking between the plushie and Gregory by the exit.

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way

Ah yes, Freddy setting the plushie on fire. I like to think he makes up his mind at that moment that none of this was worth it anymore. Once again, that interpretation of him being complacent to his friends being shattered kinda fits into this line a little, “I did all that”, as if he's surprised he had it in him to go that far to protect Gregory.

I did it my way

…self explanatory. Freddy said, “Yeah nah I'm done. Burn this bitch to the ground.”

I mean, that's basically the fire escape ending if I'm being honest. Mine's just funnier.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way

The final stretch. So this verse is pretty heavy, also I had to pace this correctly… I'm surprised I managed to fit the climax in.

“For what is a man” when I heard that line for the first time… fire no pun intended. It's also kinda ironic(?) Freddy says this, since he's an animatronic… but me personally, I saw it as an epiphany for him. He's acknowledging his own individualism, and that's all he has now. He made the decision to protect Gregory, to fight his friends, and now he's making the choice to burn everything down.

“To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels” Good shit. He's not taking orders from anyone anymore, he's gone full deviant now.

And with the confrontation with Vanny, he makes the impulsive decision to take her out, going down with her. “I did it my way” the grand climax of the song, where he throws both of them off the building… lowkey my favorite part. I had fun using the tracking tool on the editing program to make them pan across the screen in slow mo…

But yeah, Freddy was gonna go down his own way- even if it was unnecessary.

Yes it was my way

The fall and the brief daze and fear in his eyes…

There's something about the acceptance in his eyes that makes my chest swell.

I'm surprised I haven't cried to this animatic yet.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who doesn't like this ending of SB… it's so weird and confusing. I laughed my ass off watching it due to how whacky it was… also I still believe that Vanessa on the roof was an apparition/ghost. Idk… it makes sense to me.

The fact that I made this ending have more impact makes it more satisfying. I know it was very indulgent but like… that was the point. I know Freddy's characterization in the game is pretty limited, outside of him being a goofball, but he had genuine moments where there was something else there (I'm looking at the true ending scene).

Listen, I headcanon Freddy as someone who's sweet and puts on his best face but has the entire company of FazEnt on his shoulders and all he can do is tolerate it because he was made to entertain. Having him not only have an existential crisis but an epiphany lets Freddy shine a little more.

I say the best part during the animatic process is looking at the lyrics and breaking them down for the story. It helps with pacing :)

I plan to do another fnaf animatic this weekend, so look forward to some wips… if I decide/remember to share

Feel free to ask me anything, I'll try to answer them!

:)

[castleclerics]

mike’s own awareness of his sexuality, and a little psychoanalysis of him

after the past two years i think i've reached my conclusion on mike's awareness about his sexuality and it’s that i fr don’t think he even thinks he could be gay.

mike is aware in s4 that what he feels for el isn't romantic, but he doesn't understand why. and he doesn't understand why el is so mad like him saying "what is this? you know what i think of you!" is genuinely him not understanding why that isn't enough for her when it's enough for him. caring for her is enough for him.

then with will, he knows he feels differently about him (him staring at him dancing with the girl at snowball, looking back at the byers house and hugging his mom, will’s wrist brushing his in the van, it’s hawkins it’s not the same without you) but since he knows what he feels for el isn’t romantic, he doesn't know what love feels like. he can’t discern his feelings when he doesn’t have any frame of reference in the first place. he's just thinking from what he knows. i think he just hasn’t made the connection yet that the reason he doesn’t like girls is bc he likes boys.

in between s3 and s4 is when he realizes he doesn’t like el or girls in general. bc in s3 he says “they do say it makes you crazy” so he’s convinced what he feels for el is love during that time. so obviously something changed between the seasons.

the way you can tell he is completely unconscious about being gay is pretty obvious to me at this point. a lot of where he acts from for various situations in the series in general is completely subconscious. he never questions why he’s feeling a certain way or why he does what he does. that’s who he is as a character.

he never stops to think, he just jumps in. he’s the heart of the party for a reason. but he has to learn the balance of fulfilling his needs and others needs. (will, el, and mike’s arcs are very much the same in this aspect. they will all get to live their truth in s5 after constantly pleasing others, they all share this with their love lives too.)

mike looks at so much from the angle of logic (his idea of logic mind you) and not his feelings, hence why it took him this long to realize he does not love el, and hence the “we’re not kids anymore” and writing a book of letters to el bc from his logic, that’s what you do in a romantic relationship. this is what you do when you grow up, you get a gf and act in this specific way. ANDD he gets defensive when his idea of logic is challenged!!!!! (the rain fight, 4x03 fight with el, and the end of the rinkomania fight)

he’s so close to breaking from conformity in s4 and he’s starting to realize that he’s not living by his wants, but by others wants.

(rly flips the perspective of mike saying “women act on emotion not logic” doesn’t it… he thinks el is ridiculous for acting on her emotions and not “logic” like him.)

him embracing his sexuality will be one of the prime examples in s5 of him finally taking care of himself and living for how he feels. everyone always says how he’s not loving el the way she wants him to, but fail to recognize mike went almost this whole series not even asking himself if that’s something he even wants to do.

moving back to his unawareness for his sexuality, it just reminds me of when i was 13 and was a girl (not anymore lmao) and i knew how this one girl made me feel like i would get so excited to sit next to her and never wanted to leave her side and was obsessed with her and she gave me butterflies. but i was also at the same time completely unaware that it was romantic feelings/i also didn't think about it. it genuinely wasn't a thought on my mind. i wasn’t thinking “hmm does this feel like a friend or crush” i literally just didn’t think about it. i never questioned what my sexuality was i was just living life. a year or two later is when i realized, bc i was introduced to queer content creators and actually saw gay people exisiting.

like when you grow up in a household with parents that never even mention gay people and are silent about anything queer idk it’s like it never crosses your mind that that’s something you could be. and that’s exactly how mike’s household is. they don’t have enough open conversations either. on the other hand, will has been aware of himself since forever because of his dad.

i'm watching like basically every mike scene for an edit rn and the more and more i'm convinced he is just completely unaware. that's why i truly don't think mike as active internalized homophobia. he doesn’t know he likes boys and he doesn’t know he likes will even though both of those things are true. they just haven’t been fully realized yet.

[lavaflowe]

Buddhism Infodump Ahead😋:

OKAY SO- This all started like 2 years ago I think?? Because I was taking a Buddhism class (at this point my brain hadn’t really connected the dots yet with JTTW and the class lmao) and we were talking about Bodhisattva’s and how they’re all gender neutral (which I thought was so fucking cool). During the class, we talked about Guan Yin and finally it clicked in my brain that hey!! That’s the bodhisattva in JTTW! But I was confused because the book definitely uses she/her, when theyre supposed to be gender neutral? I pulled my prof aside after class and asked why that was?

And SO- the Guan Yin that appears in the book is a specific version from the school of Chan(Zen) Buddhism, which focuses more on meditation as a path to enlightenment. This kind of mediation can be done while going about daily life performing chores. As you meditate, you can be spontaneously enlightened, either triggered by a sound or change in your environment. This school has special versions of the Buddhas and Bodhisattva’s, like Rope Robed Monju and White Robed Guan Yin, who is (usually) depicted relaxing in their home (a bamboo grove said to be at Mt.Putuo) by a reflecting pool. When Christians started coming to China to convert people to Christianity, they saw this super popular version of Guan Yin ((which people at time were depicting as more feminine)(as bodhisattva’s can take any form they want)) and immediately equated them to Mother Mary. The white clothes, feminine appearance, and occasional depiction with children convinced Christians that they were worshiping Mary. Thanks to conversion efforts (and China not wanting to be attacked by Europe for denouncing ‘their God’), Guan Yin as a woman was cemented into the general population. So by the time JTTW was written, Guan Yin was portrayed as a woman! They also spread the idea that Buddhism ISNT a religion but a philosophy! Because then you can worship the Christian god and not yours, because yours is just a way of life not an actual religion! I’ve had ALOT of people tell me Buddhism is a philosophy and it activates my anger every time(These conversion efforts also resulted in a lot of Non-Asain countries having the the wrong idea of Buddhism since the missionaries brought back this warped version to Europe, ideas that still persist today).

Other Funfacts:

One iconographic detail that can help you identify Guan Yin, is that Amitabha is always sitting in their crown (not sure if this applies to avaloteshkovara tho), which also links them to Pureland Buddhism, as Amitabha is the Buddha of the Pureland and infinite light and life😌 (the western heaven in JTTW for context).

While Bodhisattva’s are not gendered, Buddha’s are! Which is probably related to the fact that Buddhas don’t really change their appearances like the Bodhisattva’s do, since they don’t usually interact with humans

Guan Yin is also known as Kannon(Japan), Gwan-uem(Korea), and Avaloteshkovara(India)

Amida (Japans name for Amitabha) also performs the Raigo or welcoming descent and can be accompanied by Kannon and Seishi to take people to the Pureland as they’re dying. This is where they will spend their next life, listening to lectures by Amida, as they try to reach enlightenment

Nirvana literally means extinction, it means removing your self from the cycle of reincarnation and finally resting

When you are enlightened, you become one with everything, including other Buddhas and Bodhisattvas

There are over 80 signs of enlightenment including the urna, ushnisha, and elongated earlobes. The earlobes are from the historical Buddha Siddhartha, who as an Indian prince, would have stretched lobes for Jewelry

You can also ID a specific Buddha by the combination of Mudras they are displaying- Abhaya and Varada are specifically for Shakyamuni (the historical Buddha). Amitabha with the Samahita Mudra (I’m having trouble finding its name, so I’m not 100% sure it’s right)

Two of the Bigger Branches of Buddhism are Mahayan Buddhism(which is more popular in North Asia) and Theravada Buddhism (which is more popular in South Asia)

In esoteric Buddhism, the more heads and arms a deity has, the more powerful they were, see 11 Headed Guan Yin

TO CONCLUDE ALL THESE FUN LITTLE FACTS: Buddhism is a religion and is different in every country it’s practiced in, JTTW showing just a small snippet! Hopefully there was some stuff in here you didn’t know and if there is something in here that might be wrong, let me know! I might not get everything right and I’d love to learn/correct anything!