#hello!! please reblog so we can spread the news

[thecoffeelorian]

Fandom Friday, 11/29: Fanfiction

Hello again, everyone…and welcome to another installment of Fandom Friday, the two-post series where I go off to find new and interesting fanworks that might need a bit more visibility.

Before we get started, however, I would like to say something kind of important here--I almost considered asking how everyone's Thanksgiving was, but just in time, I remembered that this was mostly a North American invention, so! Instead, I would like to ask you all if your fall/autumn-specific holiday was a good one this year; and if you're comfortable with saying so, which one(s) do you celebrate around this season? Feel free to leave a blurb or two in the comments/reblogs if you're willing, because I'd love to hear from you.

And now, before I go off on too much of a tangent...here are my picks of the week.

THE CLONE WARS

The Clone Wars Fanfiction--By @orangez3st:

The Clone Wars Fanfiction--By @ireadwithmyears:

THE BAD BATCH

The Bad Batch Fanfiction--By @jswahaarts:

The Bad Batch Fanfiction--By @artist-kreating-stuff:

ROGUE ONE

Rogue One Fanfiction--By @nooowestayandgetcaught:

THE MANDALORIAN

The Mandalorian Fanfiction--By @javier-pena:

The Mandalorian Fanfiction--By @kayedium-writes:

In conclusion, as part of my mission to poke around the Star Wars fandom and, on Friday every two weeks, highlight those writers who might otherwise go unnoticed…I hope you will check out the links I have included for yourselves and like, comment on, and reblog them, as well as also giving the writers a few more followers to their Tumblr pages.

Please also like and reblog this latest installment so that these links can be spread around to as many other fans as possible, just in case not all of them can tune in at the same time.

An additional thank you goes to @djarrex for making the divider I used earlier in this post, but still want to give credit for.

And finally, so that I do not forget…thank you to my friends, thank you to this fandom, and above all else, please stay safe out there.

No Pressure Tags: @melymigo @algo-o-nada @the-osborn-way @everybirdfellsilent @skellymom

@leos-multifandom-corner @maggie-dylan @leenathegreengirl @gun-roswell @tazmbc1

@bluedeedeedoop @its-time-to-rise-above @tlmtwelve @snoowply and anybody else who might be on the lookout for new SW fanfiction.

[qsmpzine]

Hello! Welcome to QSMP ZINE! This is where we will be hosting an Egg-Centric, art and fic filled Zine based on the QSMP! Currently, I (stella @stellarumexp, hi hello!) am the only one working on this project, so apologies as updates and progress will probably be a bit slow! >-<

Some details! This zine will be a SFW zine focusing on all of the eggs from the QSMP (yes! Even those like Hope/Memories, A1, and Gegg!) My goal is for each egg to get their own section, filled with art and writings that focus on them (and that feature their friends and family too!)

It is also my goal to offer this zine in other languages - the QSMP is a global community after all! So keep an eye out if you are interested in working as a translator in the future! At minimum, I’d like to offer this zine in French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, and Korean; though if translators can be found for other languages I would be more than happy to offer further translations!

Currently I am looking for some fellow fans who want to help organize this zine. Organizing a project like this takes a lot, so the more people helping out the faster we can get the ball really rolling! So please reach out if you are interested in assisting, especially if you have experience making graphics (very important!) or if you have experience as a finance/shipping mod. (If a suitable finance/shipping mod is found, we would be able to offer an additional physical zine and physical merch options, with all profits going to charity!)

Regardless of whether a shipping/finance mod is found however, this zine will be available as a digital zine! If we can’t find a finance mod, it will be either free or pay what you can to charity! Hopefully, we will be able to offer physical book copies as well as merch, so fingers crossed!

If you are interested in this zine, please follow this blog! That way you can stay informed!

[supportgaza]

From the Comfort of Ireland, Watching the Suffering and Starvation of my Family in Gaza

Note: Vetted by:

1. @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi # 151 on the spreadsheet of Vetted Gaza Fundraisers List]

2. @riding-with-the-wild-hunt Here .

Imagine leaving your whole family in Gaza behind and having to evacuate to Ireland in the middle of a devastating war that spares no one and nothing. You watch the massacres live in the news and countless horrific scenarios play out in your mind, take your sleep away, and put you in a miserable condition.

You call your mother from the comfort and easy life of Ireland to hear the following words: the last couple of nights were horrible we could not sleep because of the nonstop bombing in the area! We bake rotten flour to make bread! We are freezing every night, especially the children!

Would not that boil the blood in your veins and drive you crazy?! In one what universe, one hears such things from his family in the middle of a genocidal war and does not lose it?! What studies?! What freaking PhD to focus on?!

First things first! Evacuating and saving my family first and other things come along later!

I am still campaigning to evacuate and reunite with my family in Ireland and start anew. I am only a human, a heartbroken traumatized one, and I cannot do this alone. I am sick and worried every minute of every day watching the horrific massacres all the time on the news).

Please Donate, reblog and share my campaign. The life of a big Palestinian family including so many children is at stake here!

You cannot just look away! Help me reach my final goal, please!

Tagging for reach! Please help me spread the word and boost my campaign as much as you can!

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @ibtisams @vakarians-babe @90-ghost

@sayruq @fairuzfan @sar-soor @fallahifag @humanvoicebox

@plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural

@commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-lindigo @soon-palestine

@communistchilchuck @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45-helping-others

@kyra45 @feluka @appsa @schoolhater @irhabiya

@transmutationisms @ibtisams @malcriada @flower-tea-fairies

@baby-girl-aaron-dessner @dlxxv-vetted-donations @troythecatfish

@rebecca-levin-art @ana-bananya @vakarians-babe

@mangocheesecakes @captainsplat @vasira96

@suggestionsofkindness @catgirl-kaiju @melissa-titanium

@transmutationisms @ibtisams @malcriada @flower-tea-fairies

@captainsplat @vasira96 @suggestionsofkindness

@catgirl-kaiju @melissa-titanium @psalidodont @weirdplutoprince

@xanfeursel @droodlebug @tothepointofinsanity

@ruthlesslistener @the3rddenialist @drakkonyan @eligobrrrrr

@strawcherrily-ish @paperandpencilsandskips @saga-ordsmed

@sploonswagtournament @iridescentscarecrow @cantsayidont

@trueloveistreacherous @beedok @normalslimeguy

@finnitesimal @andalusiya @skinwretch

@rednines @elderling @sour-soda @stiltonbasket

@hello-kitty-milkshake @butchmartyr @laurellament

@saltyfinalboss @dirtangeldean

@antrunner @xgoldenlatiasx @cinnamontoasten

@beatricebidelaire @strawberriandromeda

@hamletisintown @septemberlikestea @lttleghost

@somegrumpynerd @megabuild

@innovatorbunny @flanneldragon @butiknowiloatheyou

@ashstfu @autisticandroids

@lesbianslasherfilm @bastardofficial

@redsunrisinginthesky @pitbolshevik @poobit

[slugghee]

Hello everyone. This is the second drawing post I've made in hopes of helping my friend Firas and his loved ones. The first one was not spread much. Please, even if you really can't don@te, reblog and share this post. Firas is on a tight schedule right now — he has been trying to raise enough money since mid-April. It is now late September. The deadline for his university fees could be as early as mid-October. This is his last chance to pay for his and his sister's university fees before it's too late and they are kicked out.

If you are new here, Firas (@firasmuhaisenn) and his sister, Nisreen, are 2nd-year medical students from Gaza currently studying in Egypt. Firas and his sister's upcoming university fees for the year cost $6000 USD in total. But Firas does not just have to deal with university fees — he needs money to evacuate his family. 3 adults and 3 minors, which costs $22,500 USD, a very reachable goal! As his family is trapped in Gaza, he is also in charge of sending his family money so they can at least get food daily. Not to mention the money he must spend on rent and food for himself. Firas has no source of income due to being a refugee and must rely on the charity of strangers to ever hope to see his family again! Can you imagine the stress! Firas is only EIGHTEEN!!

Thus, due to both the upcoming deadline and the constant drain of money for basic needs, Firas needs to raise money at a fast pace. He and Nisreen must complete their dreams of becoming doctors, and Firas's family must be evacuated to safety. Anything you can chip in makes a difference! Together, every small contribution can snowball into something amazing.

As of 9/25/2024, Firas's campaign has not received dona@tions in two days. Let's change that.

Firas's campaign is VERIFIED! He is vetted by @/90-ghost here.

I am not a vetter, but I have personally been chatting with Firas for a few months now, and others here on tumblr know him. Firas has provided his documents in his GoFundMe, and is willing to show additional documents to verify his identity.

Thank you so much for reading this far! Let's help Firas with all our might!!

[ahedalshaer]

On October 30, I will write to you the latest updates about our lives in Gaza⬆️📣

In the previous picture, there is a list of prices in Gaza for basic food items, most of which are not available, and if they are available, they are very expensive. You know, after my first campaign was stopped, I started a new campaign so that I could cover the basic necessities for me and my family, and donations are very few and non-existent. I am looking for all the ways to save money for my family

New suffering for my family .It's very dangerous

The shortage and high prices of detergents in Gaza are very alarming in light of the current war situation ...

The impact of war on hygiene and the spread of diseases: The war on Gaza has not only destroyed buildings and infrastructure but also targeted essential services that directly affect people's lives, including clean water and sanitation systems. The Israeli occupation, by deliberately targeting these vital services, contributes to the increased spread of diseases and epidemics. The absence of basic hygiene supplies such as soap,disinfectants, and clean drinking water leads to an unhealthy environment, causing diseases to spread quickly, especially among children and the elderly. In this context, maintaining hygiene becomes nearly impossible in the absence of basic resources, exacerbating the humanitarian crisis.

A call for help: In the face of this difficult humanitarian situation, we turn to kind-hearted people and anyone who has the ability to help to contribute to providing the necessary hygiene supplies for my family and other families suffering like us. Yourdonations will help protect the health of children, women, and the elderly who are facing the daily risk of disease.

Saving a child's life could start with a bar of soap, and protecting a family from epidemics could be achieved by providing disinfectants or clean water.

Vetted By:

1- @gaza-evacuation-funds No.347 here

@nabulsi @wellwaterhysteria @90-ghost

2- @ibtisams VERIFIED GOFUNDME LIST #11

3- butterfly effect project line No.407

❤️🔥Please Reblog as much as you can and Donate .🔥❤️

@timetravellingkitty @deathlonging @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe @rhubarbspring @opencommunion @pcktknife @brutaliakhoa @sawasawako @neptunerings

@feluka @terroristiraqis @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @turian @deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @khanger @kibumkim @neechees

@mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @mansbutchery @7bitter @tortiefrancis

@toiletpotato @fromjannah

@omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca

@aristotels @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @huzni

@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @dykesbat

@watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator

@lacecap @northgazaupdates2

[booasaur]

With no judgment or rancor, I'm asking people who haven't yet boosted any fundraisers for Gaza to please think about reblogging some. Especially when people have already gone ahead and vetted them.

News cycles are focused elsewhere and attention is turned away at the moment, but the needs have only risen.

Famine has now been declared across the strip.

Almost nothing has been getting in for months.

The reason I'm asking people who haven't yet participated is because we're just normal people here, even with regular salaries there's only so much we can donate. Bringing new people into the fold is necessary as others are tapped out.

Omar, whose tweets above I quoted, this is his gofundme:

Ah, another reason I wanted to add to keep donating: a lot of these fundraisers were created for evacuation but the crossing is still closed. In the meantime, people with no jobs or homes need to continue buying very difficult to find price-gouged food and supplies. They're basically been living through an isolated dystopia forced on them by others. That's why you'll see fundraising goals raising.

Finally: I know another reason that makes it difficult to spread fundraisers is that you don't know which to pick. It's tough to feel like you're the arbiter of who gets help and sadly, who doesn't. Gazafunds has made that easy for you. They have a list of vetted fundraisers and every time you visit the page, you'll get a different one. So you can just donate to the one you visited and be confident that they're all being evenly rotated:

[milksnake-tea]

hey all !! normally i wouldn't engage in something like this on my blog, but considering that it's happening to a friend of mine, i felt i had an obligation to speak out. sorry for clogging up the tags/interrupting your scrolling 😭

tldr: @/hxveneru has stolen the works of my good friend @lowkeyren not once, but twice and is deleting any comments calling them out.

edit: they've changed their user to @/yneri; if you've blocked them already, this doesn't really matter bc they're still blocked :) reminder to not engage with them, they're just looking for attention. block and ignore!

i know. fun stuff. proof is under the cut.

please note that i'm doing this of my own accord, and the only involvement ren has had in this post is me asking for permission to post it since, well, it's an issue mainly affecting her.

also i should say beforehand but. don't ??? send them death threats please 😭 we are better than that. i'm mainly making this to spread awareness about the issue :)

reblogs are appreciated to spread awareness.

first stolen work is ren's oneshot "drunk words, sober thoughts!" for aventurine here.

as you can see, it was posted on June 15th, a little over two months before hxveneru posted their own oneshot.

for reference. hxveneru is a new blog and all of their posts are in the month of september, proven here via their archive.

and here's the two oneshots side by side, with ren's on the left and the stolen one on the right.

notice how the oneshots are exactly word-for-word except for the title and synopsis? even the author's note is exactly the same. obviously i can't fit the whole thing here, but this should be enough.

honestly it's. i have to laugh at the audacity to just copy and paste like hello???

and here's the second work that was copied, with hxveneru's "diff scenarios w hsr men" taking from drabbles from two of ren's works.

these are the two fics that were stolen from, with their dates attached. both are posted far before september. links are here and here if you want to double check..

now let's look at the drabbles that were - once again, copy and pasted. first is blade's, again with ren on the left and the stolen one on the right (ren's is circled bc they didn't take the hcs part).

and here is the sunday drabble that was stolen.

so far, those are the only works posted on their blog. i was also informed that they had apparently stolen from @/exuvianen's post here but deleted it, but since said post is deleted, we don't have evidence for that so take it with a grain of salt.

but yeah! just wanted to let yall know out there, especially since the plagiarized works have already gained some traction and have 100+ notes on them. i've talked about them vaguely on my blog before, so if this sounds familiar, yeah this is them.

plagiarism is shitty, i shouldn't have to say that. it is not that hard to just write your own stuff. i know validation and publicity make you feel good, but stealing someone else's hard work is not the way to go. writers already have enough to deal with. just don't do it. what's the point of getting validation if it's not even your work?

again, don't send death threats, please. that's a bit far, and they likely won't even do anything since the plagiarizer has already been called out before and this was their response.

not a single ounce of remorse or shame. people have gotten way too comfortable on here.

also "who the hell is ren anyway" bestie you blocked her 😭😭 and ignored her ask to you. that's why ren can't dm her to sort it out privately btw, in case you were wondering.

anyways! that's all i have to say, thanks for sticking around this long and have a great rest of your day. hxveneru if you see this. hi ig ?? id say smth to you but i doubt you'd take it seriously so i won't <3

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello... again! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content and my first recommendation post of magnificent fan-artists and fan-writers wasn't enough dopamine for you?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got even more hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list, as I have biases and favorites and limited time. If you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August 2022 and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@agentplutonium: they/them

Pluto is just one of the many gorgeous people who've migrated to Tumblr now that Twitter is, ya know, on fire. I've been following them on Tiktok for ages, and I'm so pleased they joined us on tumblr now! Highlights: "Constant" and "Inconvenience" mean the world to me, because there are just not enough aspec headcanons in the fandom, we could always have more.

@angelicaether: they/them

Aether is a fucking gem unto this fandom- not only do they run Sky Side, a friendly, closeknit (hehe) server for 21+ Redacted fans but they also were who we have to thank for Redacted Kinktober 2023, bless them~ Highlights: New Job Posting is magnificent if you’re in the mood for some David/Angel smut today and this cute couple crossover fic if you’re feeling more SFW!

@caelumsnuff: they/them

Phoenix is magnificent, creative, and endlessly sweet. I also respect the hell out of anyone that can take the anon hate that they get with as much grace and attitude as they do /gen /pos Highlights: I love this gift for the Quinn-fuckers they wrote, I do, but I have to admit I'm partial to the Imperium!Vincent/Imperium!Asher piece they did, because their tension and hatred was just too palpable to deny, I needed it.

@empydoc: any pronouns

Empy's Soul Eater AU has not only taken over my life but has also got me deeply wanted a Soul Eater rewatch. God forbid xe succeed because this post has already been delayed enough /j Highlights: I love the Marcus/Asset post, because that's my favorite pairing but also because Asset as both an android and a weapon is so, so interesting. Blake/Bestie's is also a particular gem, because being a meister just gives him a new dimension to his manipulation and I love it.

@floofdeloop: she/her

Not only is Floof a beloved fic writer but she's also one of the adored DJs of the fandom. Are you really a fan if you haven't looked up Redacted on Spotify and saved all her playlists? /j Highlights: Her whole playlist page is literally so good, but I love the cute, domestic vibes of this Geordi one or the tragic, angsty, Britrock vibes of this Porter playlist~!

@joshusten: they/them

Sten is one of if not the writer that comes to mind when you're looking for amazing Guy/Honey content! Highlights: Bitter Melon is my personal favorite of their work; what can I say? I'm a sucker for a little jealousy in my fics. You also can't miss Honeysuckle, their most recent piece which gets into Guy's canonically less-than-pure mind~

@pinksparkl: she/her

Gosh, where would we be without her? Pink never has a bad word or thought for anyone and just persists in being a delightful, sweet presence in the fandom. Highlight: I can't decide what I'm more obsessed with- their Adam-centric fic exploring the Progeny/Maker bond or their nsfw Gavin-centric with his tail exploring Freelancer nudge nudge wink wink

@redlikeredacted: they/them

Just as their blog says, they are the CEO of Dasher. In my head, they are the president of both the David/Asher and the Autistic!David fan clubs, and I'd vote for them a second and third term okay I love Red Highlights: Their "David bottoming for the first time" fic is everything to me okay I am here for nothing but this except maybe this Milo fic where he gets Aggro~

@teafairywithabook: she/they

A lovely writer, voice actor, and person, Cheri does it all! With a whole 34 Redacted works on AO3, they are a must-follow. Highlights: I'll provide the masterlist of previously mentioned works, but I must recommend her nsfw Avior/Starlight fic keeping us sated until we finally get an Avior BA and their fic of Alexis's POV of Sam's turning I couldn't not okay I'm just a person I have biases

@tepid-judas: he/they/it

My favorite Adam stan, my friend, and the person who converted me into an Adam/Brighteyes shipper, I thank Judas every day for that. Highlights: I love their series of epistolary fics, because who doesn’t love a good letter, but I would be remiss if I didn’t rec his DAMN polycule plus Xavier fic cause fuck canon let's add frosty the snowman to the orgy /lh

@themonotonysyndrome: she/her

Lady, my dearest friend and greatest foe~ How else do I describe the gorgeous, sociable, friendly person who bought Alexis/Christian into the world and ruined my life? (affectionate) Highlights: Let these two assholes in love take you on a ride, fall in love with them too. If that's not your vibe, I cannot recommend enough her insane, gen z Bright Eyes being an absolute fucking terror /pos

Fanart:

@androgynouspenguinexpert

Can YOU believe Penguin's only been posting art since, like, December? I certainly can't, because it's like they've drawn every boy at this point and each is as smoochable and adorable as the last. Highlights: Their Porter is one of my favorites; what can I say? Who can resist this high ponytail and cape combo? I also love their Hush, cause look at him~! He's adorable! Penguin gives all these boys such luscious, floofable hair; I love them!

@cute-brainz: she/they/it

Kindly, lovingly, respectfully, Cute's listeners designs reduce me to a sniveling, simpering puddle of a simp. I become nothing but a humble, simple straight man, and none of you came blame me good god their listeners are hotter than all the redacted men- Highlights: Like, look at their Lovely: the hair, the singlet, the VIBES? Fuckin irresistible; like Vincent, I'd give them anything their heart desires. And their ANGEL? The MINUTE David Shaw fumbles that bag, I'm on my knees with a ring hello earth angel will you be mine

@darling-solaire

Darl has been posting art for only a month and a half at the writing of the post, and yet I feel like I've loved their Solaires for forever. They, as a unit, are hot and tragic as fuck, and I love them. Highlights: I am obsessed, particularly, with the Solaire family portraits, but maybe that's because my girl Alexis is up there, and I love her. There's also this bust compilation of more Redacted boys in case you didn't find your favorite in the Solaires~!

@free-boundsoul: she/her

Okay so, like, vibe with me did you ever love Lisa Frank products with the bright, saturated colors and sparkling eyes but wish instead of cuddly animals that there were really hot men? Then Savvie is the artist for you~ Highlights: One, it's fun to see a Regulus that's not blue, okay? It's thinkin outside the box. Two, the CRACKS? WITH THE GOLD PEEKING THROUGH? I'm inconsolable my god. Speaking of daemons, Fool!Gavin is sort of everything to me. He's just really rocking that sweater vest!

@hotmcrodz: he/they

I know for a fact that I'm not the only one obsessed with the way Jai draws human anatomy. I have unironically seen a Jai piece in the tag and gone "WOWZA" like I'm Jim Carrey in The Mask; that's what they do to me. Highlights: This Milo was one of the pieces that made my eyes pop out my head like a cartoon wolf; I think it's the shirtlessness plus the muscle pose. I just couldn't handle it. I also reacted like that to their Babe because I am an equal opportunity pervert /hj

@izzuku: he/they

Izzuku designs characters with the most realistic and gorgeous body types; like, I love the soft jawlines and how warm and touchable they draw skin. Every Izzuku design is kissable as hell. Highlights: I have to recommend his Regulus and Hush designs, obviously, they're my favorite men. However, I can't let the world go by another rotation without recommending this special Halloween version of Vincent~!

@kilarthmac: she/they

In case we needed another reason to love and appreciate the iconic timestamping account we all recognize from the Redacted comments, we cannot neglect their fanart! Highlights: Like, look at this brought-back-wrong Vega! This Hush with his cute face and off-putting air! He's so cute and so weird! I also love this piece they've done for one of my favorite rarepairs, Imperium!Lasko/Adam~

@latenightsleeper: he/they/it/she

My kinfolk and my beloved, one of the few people who understand me and the vision that is beautiful, blonde, dumb and lovable Christian. They will give you so many feelings about Darlin and Christian, and they will cause you agony /pos Highlights: Obviously, I'm obsessed with the Tank/Christian art like this one (Christian is just so cuuute), but we're all obsessed with this Sam/Darlin animatic set to Eat Your Young.

@maxpaulll

An amazing artist that I'm so glad we managed to get to migrate to Tumblr from Twitter so I could put them on this list~ Highlights: I am obsessed always with their Indigenous character designs, especially David. Like, look at him, he's indescribably beautiful, outshone by no one except maybe Max's Imp!Vega, because oh my god look at him~

@nortyourself: she/her

I don't think there's anyone who's not obsessed with at least one of Rachel's pieces; like, I believe she'll get to every Redacted man with the speed and beauty she works. Even Reticuli has gotten the Rachel treatment and been made hot af. Highlights: Technically, this Imperium!Damien just takes me breath away; like, it would be blown up and framed in his palace (for all of his short and tempestuous reign). Personally, her Hush has a dear and special place in my heart. He's just my favorite~!

@penncilkid: any pronouns

One of the most gorgeous and darling and non-stop creators in the space! They're a true triple threat, kicking our hearts in the butt with their art, their writing, and their audio roleplay series~ Highlights: With so many mediums under their belt, it's so hard to choose. If you're looking for purely Redacted content, their art is prolific and so creative, I've got to share the whole gallery. If you're in the market for a new VA to fall in love with, you've got to check out their youtube channel~!

@pycth: any pronouns

I dont have anything creative or profound to say here- all of pycth's designs are smoking hot and would render me selectively mute with a glance, 'nuff said. Highlights: How can I PICK? Ugh, hottest of the hot that comes to mind has got to be their President Moore art; like, this pose isn't FAIR. On the other end of the spectrum, if you want your heart kicked in the butt, I don't think any of us are over this Sam piece or ever will be.

@rainingcatsandjune: any pronouns

Another new artist who's only been here since April, and yet- I would die for his and his fine-ass, touchable Sam. Like, hell, render any man pretty like that, and I'll die for him. That's how pretty this art is. Highlights: Like, look at him. How does one do anything but look at him, especially in this pose? Again, look at him! Look at the hands. The soft, touchable glow and how it lights and shades his and Darlin's skin. The broad shoulders good god~

@sainthowlzon: they/he

You can't turn a corner on tumblr without seeing some of Howl's adorable Scribble Dolls or Icons! (Or any other social media actually. I feel like I've deffo seem some of Howl's icons on Tiktok too.) They're cute, they're iconic, and there's one for almost everyone! Highlights: Here's that full set of icons for your perusal; my personal favorite is Asset's. And here's the full set of Redacted Scribble Dolls; my favorite is Regulus, I think, because of his freaky vibes, but it's so hard to pick!

@sincerelywhistler: any pronouns

Like everyone with a working set of eyes and a beating heart, I am obsessed with all of Wes's designs; like, who wouldn't fall in love at first sight with all those beautiful and often shirtless people? Highlights: There's honestly too many to pick from, but I'll TRY. Their Gavin is an absolute must, I share it with the Discord on sight, he's that it girl if you will. Oh, and one cannot neglect Avior's HBS piece; I'm not even an Avior girlie, and I was like daaaaaamnnnnnnn~

@slushiepizza: they/them

Where would all the guy-lovers be without Slushie and their absolute cornucopia of Guy and Honey delights? Like, where else would we get our homemade, MacGyver'd serotonin? Highlights: The "Everyday" series is everything to me, and I mean everything; Guy has become too relatable and has struck me right in the heart. If you're not in a Guy mood, I'm also in love with their older, cozy Anton~!

@s0lairee: she/they

Jo's style is just so clean, so cute, and I really love it when they play with lighting in their pieces. Like, we are almost, almost there to making me stan Vincent if you're gonna drape him in moonlight like that... Highlights: ...thought, if I had to pick, I'd probably lean more towards Vincent's partner. They're rocking the red eyes, I love them! I'm also obsessed with their freckle-y, sweet Lasko, because who isn't?

@strawberrybouvine: he/they

The artistic equivalent of gourmet candy, I am absolutely obsessed with the gorgeous colors of Jasper's art and cannot get enough of the sweetness! Is this sugar running through my veins or unparalleled cuteness? Highlights: I'm not even a David stan but, like, jesus christ, the long hair and hairy chest makes me want to go feral. Don't even get me started on the cuteness of his chibi art, I really will start foaming at the mouth.

@theflowersaremine

I don't know exactly what medium Haylin uses or what colors or effects they use, but goddamn it makes those men so dreamy. I'm not even a Sam stan, but that's a smoochable man right out of Gilmore Girls /pos Highlights: Like, are you seeing the Gilmore Girls vision? That's a handsome man from a wholesome show geared for women- almost as handsome as this art of David. I see this smile in my dreams; it's so beautiful.

@venuslove-28: any pronouns

Venus's art is strawberry and vanilla soft serve injected straight into my heart; it's so familiar and cute, so charming, and I want to stim and bounce in excitement when I see it. Does that make sense? It'll make sense when you see it. Highlights: Personally, I have never and I will never stop thinking about this Huxley, I am simply not capable. Their Avior is also cuter than all get-out, I must admit.

@wingless-cupid

I don't think anyone does cute and colorful and pastel and kawaii quite like Cupid. You can't help but look and admire all the eye-catching colors and then want to hug their cheery, dynamic characters! Highlights: I'm highkey obsessed with their Freelancer and DAMNily and all their d(a)emons in general. Like, look at this! Minh is such a cutie and a simp, I love them! I'm also constantly thinking about this art in particular, because look at all these PRICELESS EXPRESSIONS!

@yoteako: he/it

Would you like stunning, high quality art and tragic, old man yaoi on your dash? That's a silly question; of course you do which is why we're going to follow and love on Yote. Highlights: See how beautiful, doomed, and intimate this multi-page comic is about two characters who've never canonically spoken? That's devotion. On the less forsaken side of the narrative, their Gavin/Lasko ship art is embedded into my heart.

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

[shadow-von-vamp]

Hello 👋 🌹,

I hope you are well 🌺.

You are someone with many fans and followers. ♥️

Can you help me get my voice heard and share my family’s story? 🙏

By helping to reblog my post from my blog, you could save a family from death and war. 🌹

Note:My old Tumblr account was deactivated💔, and I need your support again♥️.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can provide. 🌹🌺

🕊️♥️🌹🙏

yes!! this is another fundraiser that has been verified by 90-ghost

please donate and spread the word so we can help Mohammad and his family (his family just welcomed a new baby last month!) https://www.gofundme.com/f/wyuehr-trapped-family-in-gaza-appeals-for-help-to-survive

[faggotfungus]

Hello,

I hope my message finds you well.

My name is Ahmed, and my wife is Dina. We have three children, and my wife is pregnant with our fourth child. We are living in the midst of the war and death in Gaza.

I am reaching out in the hope that you can help us escape from Gaza.

Please share our story with friends and family.

Any assistance in spreading the word and donations to save my family from the devastation in Gaza would be greatly appreciated. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

My family needs your help.🇵🇸❤️

https://gofund.me/35c30c67

Hello Ahmed and Dina ♡ Thank you for trusting me with sharing your fundraiser. I hope together we can find you and your children the support you need to find safety.

This GoFundMe was made on March 14th. As of June 12th, this family has made less than 1/3rd of their goal for survival.

If you're able to donate anything at all, please do so, and rebloging always helps to spread awareness!

This fundraiser has been verified by @/nabulsi

[dtblrsecretsanta]

We are back!

Hello again! We are holding a second dtblr secret santa event this december for the holidays! Everyone who would like to spread some holiday cheer and create something for someone in our little community is welcome to join. Once again, here is some information and rules for the event:

All giftee assignments have been sent out! Please make sure you have received your assignment, and that there are no issues with it!

We ask writers to write a fic with a 1k word minimum.

For artists we ask you to create a fully finished drawing-- whatever this means for you.

For webweaves and other formats its hard to set one rule for a minimum, so we just ask you to put some effort in and to be considerate enough to make something you would also be happy to receive.

If you are not able to finish your gift for whatever reason, please let us know as soon as possible!!

FOR WRITERS: Here is a link to the AO3 collection for posting your fics.

NEW TAG: When posting your gift, please tag your giftee and use the tag #dtblrsecretsanta2024 and/or tag us so we can reblog it here.

Timeline:

December 25-31: gift posting! January 1-14: extension and pinch hitter deadline

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to us through asks, dms, or contacting one of our mods for this year: @suenitos @sappymix1 @fujogie @georgecunt @demonstars

Happy holidays and happy creating! :))

[little-diable]

Jessie - Dean Winchester (smut)

Another song fic, are we surprised? No, we aren’t. We really aren’t. Inspired by the song “Jessie” by Joshua Kadison. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader is missing Dean too much, so she tells him all about the places she wants to visit with him – mere dreams Dean is set on turning real.

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected piv, car sex, very fluffy

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (1.6k words)

“Hello?” Dean’s raspy voice echoed through the motel room, eyes flickering to the alarm clock placed on the old nightstand, reading 5:01 am. With a sigh leaving him, he plopped back down on the bed, waiting for her to start talking, not yet fully awake just yet. 

“Dean? Hi, uhm, It’s me.” His heart skipped a beat at the sound of (y/n)’s voice, unable to stop his smile from spreading. With his tongue kissing his teeth he allowed himself to relax even further into the mattress, happy to hear the voice of the woman he had been in love with for years. “Did I wake you? I probably did, huh?”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. What’s going on? Nightmares again?” A hum left her, he could hear (y/n) shuffling around, probably trying to get comfortable on her mattress – the mattress he hadn’t been laying on for weeks, missing her more than words would ever be able to describe. “Talk to me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about a trailer by the sea, we could go to Mexico. We'll drink tequila and look for seashells. Doesn’t that sound sweet?” Dean’s heart couldn’t help but ache at the words rolling off her tongue, a quiet confession he longed for just as much as she did, desperate to grab her and a few boxes filled with clothes, set on moving away from the life Dean was fully stuck in. 

“That does sound sweet indeed. You can always sell your dreams to me, you know that, darling.” For a few seconds neither of them spoke up, cherishing the quiet this night offered to them, minds taking them to the places they could only dream of, wondering if they’d ever be fortunate enough to spend their upcoming years together, somewhere new, somewhere where nobody knew either one of them. “I’ll try to drive down next week, we should be done here soon.”

“Don’t feel pressured, we both know you and Sammy are the only ones who can save this world.” Dean’s raspy chuckles clawed through him, fingers rubbing his tired eyes. Before either one of them could speak up once again, the door of the motel room was pushed open, exposing a sweaty Sam, returning from his morning run. And with a low “I love you, sweetheart” Dean ended the call, not sparing the teasing smirk his brother wore any of his attention. 

……

She woke with a gasp, eyes finding an all too familiar pair of green ones. Dean’s cold hands were settled on her waist, waking her from her nap. With a gasp rumbling through (y/n), she pulled him down, arms wrapped around his neck, legs around his waist, murmuring his name as if she was trying to convince herself that he was actually there with her.

“I missed you, sweetheart.” Dean murmured his words against her neck, fingers teasing her skin, trying to pull her even closer, not daring to let her go just yet. Oh how he had missed being with her, how he had missed the four walls she called her own, allowing Dean to find his way back to her whenever he could squeeze in a few calmer days. 

“God, I missed you too, so much. How are you? Any scratches I should take care of?” One of her hands began to stroke its way down his spine, feeling the muscles flex beneath her touch. Her touch had something awfully familiar to it, and yet Dean still struggled to accept that she was his, his only. 

„No, I am okay. Come, I want to take you somewhere.“ Dean rose from the bed once again, hand stretched out for her to take. She looked up at him for a few moments, confusion swimming in her pupils till she finally gave in, allowing Dean to pull her in for another tight hug. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course I do.” Her giggles were swallowed by the kiss Dean pressed to her lips, hands placed on her waist, keeping her close. For a few seconds they allowed themselves to get lost in the kiss, communicating the emotions their bodies have been taken up by for the past days, their every longing, the pain of missing one another too damn much.  

“Let’s go, I don’t want to be late.”

……

Hours later (y/n) found herself sitting in Baby’s comfortable seat, hand placed on Dean’s thigh, eyes focused on the rising sun. For the past hours Dean had driven them closer and closer to this very place, the beach (y/n) had been longing for. It had taken her a while to understand where he was taking her, and yet she still couldn’t believe that this was real, that he had actually taken her longings to heart.

“I love you, Dean.” A few tears welled up in her eyes, a sight that left Dean grinning, pulling her in for a slow kiss. She didn’t interrupt the sweet gesture, not as she rose from her seat, not as she allowed Dean to pull her into his lap. It didn’t take long for the kiss to grow rather heated, tongues meeting, teeth clashing, hands tugging. 

The fire his mere touch managed to alight inside of her even managed to distract (y/n) from the beautiful sunrise, back turned towards the shore. Her hands found the hemline of his shirt, tugging on the worn out fabric in a desperate attempt to free Dean from the layers of clothing keeping them separated.

“Backseat, I want you to be comfortable.” Dean’s murmurs rumbled through Baby, begging (y/n) to let go for just a few moments, wordlessly crawling back with Dean following moments later. She watched him pull his shirt over his head, exposing the skin she had been longing for, greedily moving her hands up and down his chest. “My pretty girl, fuck, how I missed you. One day it’ll be just us two, I'll love you in the sunshine, lay you down in the warm, white sand, and who knows maybe this time, things will turn out just the way you planned.” 

With a smile thrown his way, (y/n) couldn’t help but marvel at her boyfriend, the handsome man her heart had always been aching for. Only the hurried movements of Dean’s fingers managed to rip her out of her thoughts, freeing her from her jeans, with her panties soon following. He longed to fully undress her, and yet it wasn’t a risk he was willing to take, not when somebody could walk past the car any moment. She was his to admire, his to love, certainly not somebody he’d ever willingly share.

“Dean,” she whimpered his name, needing to feel him buried deep inside of her, not caring about any teasing, any foreplay that would keep him away from her any longer. Her body was aching for his touch, folds covered with her arousal, a sight that left his cock twitching – he could cum right there and then, Dean was sure of it. Within a few moments he had freed his cock, hand wrapped around him as he brushed the tip through her folds, lubing himself with her arousal. 

Their eyes connected as Dean pushed into her, slowly, taking a few moments to adjust to the sensation that left both moaning in unison. For a second neither of them dared to move, relishing in the familiar closeness, the beautiful feeling they were desperate for whenever they were away from one another. Only as (y/n) choked on his name, fingernails clawing at his neck, did Dean dare to move, quickly building a fast pace. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, feels heavily, fucking heavily.” His praises rumbled through Baby, echoing off the four sides that felt like home to the two of them. (Y/n) couldn’t reply, at least not verbally, could only moan and whimper whenever he hit her swollen spot. Dean’s eyes were focused on her pleasure-drunken features, the eyes that had rolled back into her head, the teeth that were drawing blood from her lower lip, a sight so beautiful Dean could only hope he’d eventually take this memory to the grave. 

Their bodies met over and over again, hands searching one another’s closeness, limbs trembling, very well aware of their way too quickly arising highs. Dean was set on fucking her into oblivion, set on making her forget her own name, just for the sweetest high they were oh so close to. Her walls fluttered around him, begging him to finally push her over the edge as one of her hands found her heat, rubbing her pulsing bundle of nerves.

(Y/n) called out his name as she came, head pushed off the seat to find his lips, swallowing the deep groans rumbling through Dean. He fucked her through her high, prolonging her orgasm as he chased his own, only letting go of her seconds before he came. With a deep exhale Dean came on her lower stomach, painting her skin white – a moment she had been dreaming of for nights on end, a moment that felt more intimate than any others. 

“I love you, so fucking much, Dean Winchester.” With a laugh clawing through Dean, he kissed her one last time before he reached for a tissue, carefully cleaning up. He murmured the loving three words right back at her, eyes finding their way to the red painted ocean and the burning sky. 

[siriuslychessi]

Hello!

For those of you that filled this poll officially we have an exchange! For those of you who didn't vote, don't worry you are still invited to join ☺️

The Potterverse Gift Exchange is a yearly thing, and it is done to end the year with something nice and fun to be look forward to. We welcome everyone from the fandom, if you are thinking of participating please reblog to spread the word with the tag: #PotterverseGiftExchange2024

You can sign up here.

Please read the FAQ and rules under the cut before signing in.

Who can participate? Everyone from the Potterverse fandom. Because it keeps growing. Anyone with an AO3 account, because this year we are trying to do something a little different (that hopefully saves my sanity).

Can you participate if you don't do fics but other media? Of course! AO3 allows different media to be uploaded so you can add it there.

I want to be involved but I don't have the time? Reblog to spread the word! And comment on the works once they are posted! New works and fun for everyone!

RULES

- You must be at least 18 to participate, some people might request NSFW prompts. - You must tag properly, the tags are to archive and find the right side of fandom, not to reach any algorithm. - This is a fun event, for everyone involved. - Respect each other. This is a hard rule, if you start bashing anyone for their preferences you will be taken out from the list. It is important to know that we have differences but that doesn’t mean we need to spread hate around our fun groups. - Ship and let ship. There is a space for everyone, and we will try to make it so, even if we all agree to disagree. - Communicate. If you have any issues whatsoever with the timeframes, the prompts, etc, please communicate. We want everyone to have a gift by the end of the year. If you can not make it, or need more time, or whatever it is, we will understand, we have backup creators in case something happens. - All creations should be posted by December 29th. Extensions can be granted if informed. - Most important of all: HAVE FUN!!!

Other things: - Only the non sensitive information will be shared (prompts), everything else is deleted after the works have been submitted for privacy reason. - You can submit things to other platforms, but it can not be before the deadline, so we can all be surprised by the same date.

[stupid-dumb-bitch]

Hello, this is a long post but please: it is worth your time.

I'd like to bring attention to a few fundraisers I trust with all my heart. (I'm going to try my best but please go to their blogs for more information)

Firstly we have @fahedshehab-new (husband's account) and @shehabfamily1 (the wife's account).

They have 5 beautiful children and are vetted by @el-shab-hussein

They've recently lost their campaign that was so close to finishing. With your help they can raise those funds again (if you've already donated to them please don't ask for a refund just yet as they're trying to deal with the bank and get the ban lifted)

Secondly is @hyamshehabnew11 @mohammedyshehab @zeanyahya3

They are a family of 6 (2 kids, 2 parents, 2 grandparents) and are vetted by like everyone under the sun (no I'm not kidding, please go check their accounts). Some of which are northgazaupdates and 90-ghost.

They have also recently had their fundraisers banned and lost all their funds. They were so close and now they're starting anew.

Thirdly is @shimaa20sblog

She is a smart young woman who loves her family and is vetted by @gaza-evacuation-funds, and vetted by association. @rajaakhaled is her sister (who was vetted by quiet a few people if I'm remembering correctly)

Forthly is @safaabed8

Another beautiful family vetted by like everyone (again, not joking, please go check their page). Some of which include northgazaupdates, 90-ghost and nabulsi.

They have also recently lost all funds when they were so close to their goal

Please help them. Please donate and/or reblog.

I myself cannot donate and know firsthand that there is no shame in just reblogging.

It's all we can do so please do it. Reblog everyday, talk about them, spread word.

It is worth it and it is worth the time.

They are going through a genocide and not just them but billions are dying, and have been for more than a year do to the injustice and cruelty of others.

Please help. Every way you can.

They deserve it.

They are worth your time.

They are worth your efforts.

They do not deserve to die.

[magz]

Fundraiser Vetted and Verified by el-shab-hussein

Original post of video (fahedshehab deleted by Tumblr staff)

Message from Reem Shehab of Gaza from Direct Message:

"Hello, 🌹🇵🇸🍉🍉 I hope you are well. Im reem shehab from palestine gaza.

My Tumblr account has been terminated. This is my daughter account, which I use to send and receive messages I've created a gofundme campaign To collect donations to get my family out of Gaza Please visit my account (blog) and watch my daughter Sahar’s videos in which she talks about the situation in Gaza Could you please help me reblog the post on my account to save my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏

This is one of the videos in which Sahar, my daughter, talks about the situation in Gaza. https://www.tumblr.com/danashehab/751195878749011968?source=share Can you help me spread the campaign among your followers

Our campaign is vetted by : @el-shab-hussein https://www.tumblr.com/el-shab-hussein/749777880017502208/another-fundraiser-i-trust?source=share

I hope you can support and stand by me at the beginning . I hope everyone will donate even a little. I am confident that you will stand with me and support me until I reach my goal and remove my family from the danger of war. Share my story. Pin my story to your page. Everything helps.

Can you share some of my posts from time to time? Maybe the internet will be cut off in my area. Please do everything you can The campaign fell into a state of stagnation and inactivity Perhaps with your help, the campaign will return to activity and we will reach the goal and save my family with your help.

I'm really tired of spending all day sending messages and asking people to repost in an attempt to save my family. I miss sitting with my children 😞 I don't know how to reach donors, please help me 😞 Send my message to anyone you know who has a lot of followers and ask their followers to donate and share the link. You may save our lives by doing so.

For the sake of my children please do something😞🙏🙏🙏 Please share the new post that I published on my blog https://www.tumblr.com/danashehab/755783016398389248?source=share Please write some words to your followers along with the post urging them to donate and participate. I need that because the campaign is progressing very slowly. I don't want to lose hope, please Thank you ♥️ ."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Guiding Hand 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, parental neglect, depression, inference of self harm, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: your online academics are affected by your personal struggles but your professor won’t let you give up so easy.

Characters: Raymond Smith, Lee Bodecker in the background

Note: I think my back is ok now.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Tuesday comes too quickly. You don’t sleep the night before. It’s more than just Lee and your mother arguing that keeps you awake. The anxiety of your meeting bears down on you like an open maw, ready to devour you.

You don’t expect it to go well. You’re not even sure why you’re doing it. 

That one thought repeats over and over. You don’t have to. You can cancel. You can make another excuse and stay a loser. That’s easy. Maybe that’s why it’s so scary. Because new things are hard. 

You languish in bed as the time ticks by. You got to get up and get moving. Soon, you’ll do something. Soon. 

You roil in the trepidation. Each move, each little thing, is a gargantuan task. You sneak out to wash your face and make yourself as presentable as you can. You waited too long. You have five minutes to put something on that isn’t wrinkled and stale. 

You put on a black sweatshirt, hoping the little balls of lint aren’t visible. Maybe you can get away with just turning the microphone on. You open the computer and shift in the chair. One minute. 

You find the email and scroll down to the link. You hover over it and stare. Noon on the dot. Your hand falters and you click the Zoom meeting. It opens in the browser and your breath traps in your chest.  

The little box in the corner is black as you leave the red line through the camera icon as the mic catches the rustle of your shirt. There’s a man on screen. He sits before an office backdrop but you can’t tell if its digitally generated or real. His blond hair is combed back and he sports a thick beard and glasses. He wears a wool sweater over a collared shirt and stares down the camera. 

“Hello,” he speaks, “anyone there?” 

You clear your throat and croak, nearly choking on your own spit.  

“Here,” you manage to squeak. 

“Ah, hello there, may I ask you turn your camera on?” His voice is low and lilted, almost smoky in a way. 

You hesitate and scratch your neck, letting your fingers wander up to your scalp. The itch spread, making sitting still unbearable. You wince as you hear someone in the kitchen, the fridge door closes heavily and a dish clinks on the counter. 

“Hello?” The voice comes again. 

You panic and hit the keyboard. You steady your hand and tap the camera, shying away as you slouch in your chair. The dim glow of your bedside lamp leaves you in shadow. Still, you feel exposed. 

“Better,” he says but with little enthusiasm, “well, I suppose we best get to the meat of things,” he adjusts his posture. 

“Okay,” you murmur and cross your arms, looking evasively at the wall. 

“Good to finally meet. I’m Professor Smith,” he introduces himself and calls you by name. 

“You too,” you utter out of courtesy. This is torture to you. 

“Now, you’ve done very well on your completed work,” his eyes scan as he looks at the screen before him, "you’ve shown improvement up until a few weeks ago. You do have a lot of potential to be successful here--” 

You nod and hunch down further. You just feel worse. You’re a lazy slob. You didn’t finish your work just like you never finish the laundry or cleaning your room. 

“Irene!” Lee’s voice booms on the other side of the wall and you wince, looking over your shoulder then back to the computer. You huddle closer, hoping he didn’t hear that. Your mother’s drone responds to the holler. 

“Perhaps it is the format? We could explore another option for your remaining assignments. I can accommodate where necessar--” 

“Fuck off!” Lee shouts and a loud bang hits the hallway wall. You gulp and your lips part. 

“Lee, please, I didn’t-- I wouldn’t--” 

“Should’ve known better than to trust a whore!” Lee barks. 

You cover your face and shrink down. No! Not now. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks and you separate your fingers, looking through them. You drop your hands and nod. 

“Sorry--” 

Another loud thump, this time against your door and your mother sobs loudly as she slides down the other side. You stammer and your lip trembles as you stare mortified at the lens in the frame of the laptop. This is awful. 

“What is happen--” 

You wiggle your fingers on the touchpad and hit End Call. You retract and wrap your arms around your head, folding over your lap as you rock. How humiliating. You can’t believe that happened. Well, you can. It’s what always happens. 

Your mother and Lee continue to argue, their fight just outside your door. You shake your head as you stay curled over. You don’t know why she does this. These men come around, call her names, knock her around, and she lets them come right back. 

A tinkling noise comes from the speaker. Professor Smith is calling you. You decline the call. An email chimes in at the corner. It’s from him as well. You see the preview, a response to his last email. 

‘Please respond or I will call authorities to confirm your saf....’ 

You click on the notification to expand the full message. You sigh and don’t bother reading the rest as you hit reply. 

‘Everything is fine. I will take the fail. Thank you.’ 

Another call comes in. Just leave me alone! You hit the red button again and delete his last email. And he calls again. Ugh. What does he care. You’re sure he has lots of students to worry about. Another email and another call. Back and forth until you accidentally hit the wrong key. 

He appears again, closer to the lens as his forehead lines, “hello, hey, hey,” he sits back, holding up a hand as you scramble, panicking as you fidget and try to figure out what to do, “don’t hang up, alright? Don’t, or I will be obligated to call the police.” 

As he commands you, your mother and Lee continue their sparring in the hall, voices raised though not as clear from the front room. You sniff and rub your cheek, soothing yourself as you bring up your other hand to chew on your sleeve. 

“Are you in danger?” He asked pointedly. You shake your head. “What is all that then?” 

He’s quiet and you are enveloped again in the chaos outside your room. You shrug and tilt your head to one side. You look down. 

“My mom...” 

He sighs, “look, I wouldn’t have taken the time to call if I didn’t think you could do this. Perhaps, this was the wrong avenue. So, is it possible we meet somewhere neutral. In person?” 

You shudder and sit up as much as you can, wringing your hands, “I... I... don’t drive.” 

“That’s alright, is there a library near you, yeah? I can find my way.” 

You frown and flick your lip under your teeth several times. You see yourself in the little box. You look scary as your eyes are pools of shadows. 

“Uh...” you pull your hands apart and open a new tab, happy to have your image off the screen. You type into the search. You think there’s a library close by. “Yes, um, there is...” 

“Send me the location. We’ll reschedule. When are you available? Thursday? I’m afraid tomorrow I’m booked up.” 

You switch back to the video call. You feel tears tightening your throat and ready to spring. You shake your head and paste the URL of the library branch into the chat. His eyes flit down to read it. 

“Thursday,” you repeat but it’s not as much a question as you mean. 

“Thursday is good. Can we do earlier? Ten?” He asks. 

You don’t know. You’re not used to making decisions. You don’t get asked for your preference ever. 

“Sure,” you answer, just wanting to end the call and hide in bed. 

“Alright, I’ll pencil you in,” he says, “shall I stay on the call until that...” he pauses as Lee continues to bluster, “subsides?” 

“No,” you shake your head. 

He stares at you, his forehead lined with disapproval. Why does he care so much? He doesn’t know you. 

“Are you certain?” He intones. 

You nod, “I have to go.” 

You end the call and shut the computer. Your stomach is a jumble and you’re jittering with adrenaline. All your life, you’ve hidden behind these walls; you’ve hidden all that goes on there. To have someone witness it is worse than the yelling and hitting itself. 

You ignore the chirp from the laptop and throw yourself into bed. Thursday. So, another torturous purgatory begins, waiting to face the professor and your incompetence once more. 

📓

Thursday comes too quickly. 

You sit in your room and convince yourself to go. It was easier when it was just a computer screen, though even that was difficult. Only for you because you’re so messed up. Because you can’t do anything. 

What else can you do? The whole night you were awake thinking about how you would tell your mother. If you flunk out, you default on the student loan and you’re even deeper in the pit. The true consequences of your laziness are clearer now and you can’t let your sloth bury you again. If you do, you may as well give up on everything. Even life itself. 

So, you have no choice. You’re being given a last chance. Again. You’d feel even worse for not taking it than you would for failing at it. 

You pull on a hoodie and grab your house key and your knapsack with your computer and notebook tucked inside. That’s all you really have. No phone, no wallet. Just the bare minimum.  

You shuffle to the door, standing just inside as you muster your courage. You check your digital watch, an old Casio you’ve had for years. The numbers are dim and hard to read in the dark. You have to get going. 

You emerge and go down to the kitchen to sneak a sip of water before you go. Your room is always so dry at night. You drain a glass and rinse it out, leaving it beside the sink. As you turn around, you hear your mother’s bedroom door and the slap of her slippers as she slinks in. 

“Ah, honey,” she smiles dopily. You can smell liquor from there. She might even still be drunk as her hangovers usually keep her abed. “There you are! Oh, gosh, are you going somewhere?” 

“Mm, library,” you answer, “for school.” 

“Oh, smart girl,” she slurs. You try to smile but it’s shaky and weak. Your mom tries, you know that, so you can’t hate her. “Can you stop by the shop on your way? I got a twenty. Wouldn’t mind some vodka.” 

You pick at a fingernail, “mom, I don’t... I don’t like buying that stuff.” 

“Mm, I know, but I...” she sways on her feet and belches into her fist, “never mind. I’ll just ask Lee when he comes by.” 

“He’s coming?” You ask warily. 

“Sure, sure,” she turns and staggers to the fridge, “he must be missing me by now.” 

She bends, leaning on the door as she opens it, and peruses the mostly empty shelves. You leave her and go down the hall. You grab your shoes and slip them on, once more stopping at the threshold. Keep going. You made it this far. 

You let yourself out and lock the door behind you. You take the stairs down to the first level and continue out onto the street. You keep to the edge of the pavement as you weave around other pedestrians that pass. 

Your lips move as you recite the directions to yourself. You were sure to memorise the route as best as you could. You get turned around but right yourself and make it to the corner when you can see the grey brick of the library. 

You wait at the light before you cross and your heart begins to race the closer you get. Oh no, you don’t know if you can do this. You want to just run away. What if he sees you and changes his mind? I mean, look at you. You’re not some perky coed, you’re... you. 

You stare up at the facade and the large letters over the entrance. You take the first step, then the next. You focus on that. Right foot, left foot. Little things, one at a time. You can do this. You have to.