#he's ours now walt

[aikrathecat]

Walt Disney: Let me what you have

The public: Your son! Holds up b&w Micky Mouse

Walt Disney: NO!

[n3ongold3n]

Haven't posted the gatitos in a while. They still need to be kept separate 🙃 but i hope we're going somewhere with the clicker training

[batboyblog]

Copy Right and Public Domain in 2024

Happy 2024 all! its also Public Domain Day! a magical holiday here in America where things enter the public domain. Works published in the year 1928 (or 95 years ago!) have entered the public domain, which means they belong to us, all of us, the public!

Mickey's Back!

Yes! I'm sure you've heard, but Mickey Mouse (and Minnie Mouse too) is entering the Public Domain today. This has been news for a few years and indeed Disney's lobbying in the late 1990s is why our copy right term is SO long. So what exactly is now public domain?

Most people know about Mickey's first appearance Steamboat Willie, but a second short film, Plane Crazy was also released in 1928 so will also be public domain. So what's public? well these two films first of all, you're allowed to play them, upload them to YouTube or whatever without paying Disney. In theory you'll be allowed to cut and sample them, have them playing in the background of your movie etc. Likewise in theory the image of Mickey and Minnie as they appear (thats important) in these films will be free to use as well as Mickey's character as he appears in these works will be free to use. Now Mickey's later and more famous appearance

will still be protected. Famously the Conan Doyle Estate claimed that Sherlock Holmes couldn't be nice, smile, or not hate women in works because they still held the copyright on the short stories where he first did those things even though 90% of Sherlock Holmes stories were public domain. It's very likely Disney will assert similar claims over Mickey, claiming much of his personality first appeared in works still copyrighted.

Finally there's copyright vs trademark. Copyright is total ownership of a piece of media and all the ideas that appear in it, copyright has a limited set term and expires. Trademark is more limited and only applies to things used to market and sell a product. You can have a Coke branded vending machine in your movie if you want, but it couldn't appear anywhere in the trailer for your movie as thats you marketing your movie.

Where trademark ends and copyright begins and how trademarked something in the public domain is allowed to be are all unsettled areas of law and clearly Disney in the last few years as been aggressively pushing its trademark not just to Mickey in general but Steamboat Willie Mickey in particular

Ultimately the legal rights and wrongs of this might not matter so much since few people have the money and legal resources of the Walt Disney corporation so they might manage to maintain a de facto copyright on Mickey through legal intimidation, but maybe not?

And Tigger Too!

All the talk about Mickey Mouse and Steamboat Willie has sadly overshadowed other MAJOR things entering the public domain today. Most people are aware Winnie the Pooh entered the public domain in 2022, but they might not realize his beloved friend Tigger didn't. Thats because Tigger didn't appear till A. A. Milne's second (and last) book of Pooh short stories, The House at Pooh Corner in 1928.

Much like Mickey Mouse only what appears in The House at Pooh Corner is public domain so the orange bouncy boy from the 1960s Disney cartoon is still on lock down. But the A. A. Milne original as illustrated by E. H. Shepard is free for you to use in fiction or art. His friend Winnie the Pooh has made a number of appearances since being freed, most notably in a horror movie, but also a Mint Mobile commercial so maybe Tigger too will have a lot of luck in the public domain.

Other works:

Peter Pan; or the Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up

Peter Pan is a strange case, even though the play was first mounted in 1904, and the novelization (Peter and Wendy) was published in 1911, The script for the play was not published till 1928 (confusing!) meaning while the novel as been public domain for years the play (which came first) hasn't been, but now it is and people are welcome to mount productions of it.

Millions of Cats

The oldest picture book still in print, did you own a copy growing up? (I did)

Lady Chatterley's Lover

The iconic porn novel that was at the center of a number of groundbreaking obscenity cases in the 1960s and helped establish your right to free speech.

All Quiet on the Western Front and The Threepenny Opera in their original German (but you can translate them if you want), The Mystery of the Blue Train by Agatha Christie, and Orlando by Virginia Woolf will also be joining us in the public domain along with any and all plays, novels, and books published in 1928

for Films we have The Man Who Laughs who's iconic image inspired the Joker

Charlie Chaplin's The Circus, Buster Keaton's The Cameraman, Should Married Men Go Home? the first Laurel and Hardy movie, Lights of New York the first "all talking" movie, The Passion of Joan of Arc, The Wind, as well as The Last Command and Street Angel the first films to win Oscars for Best Actor and Best Actress respectively will all be entering public domain

For Musical Compositions (more on that in a moment) we've got

Mack the Knife by Bertolt Brecht, Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall in Love) by Cole Porter, Sonny Boy by George Gard DeSylva, Lew Brown & Ray Henderson, Empty Bed Blues by J. C. Johnson, and Makin’ Whoopee! by Gus Khan are some of the notables but any piece of music published in 1928 is covered

Any art work published in 1928, which might include works by Frida Kahlo, Georgia O'Keeffe, Alexej von Jawlensky, Edward Hopper, and André Kertész will enter the public domain, we are sure those that M. C. Escher's Tower of Babel will be in the public domain

Swan Song, Public Domain and recorded music

While most things are covered by the Copyright Act of 1976 as amended by the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, none of the copyright acts covered recordings you see when American copyright law was first written recordings did not exist and so through its many amendings no one fixed this problem, movies were treated like plays and artwork, but recorded sound wasn't covered by any federal law. So all sound recordings from before 1972 were governed by a confusing mess of state level laws making it basically impossible to say what was public and what was under copyright. In 2017 Congress managed to do something right and passed the Music Modernization Act. Under the act all recordings from 1922 and before would enter the public domain in 2022. After taking a break for 2023, all sound recordings made in 1923 have entered the public domain today on January 1st 2024, these include.

Charleston by James P. Johnson

Yes! We Have No Bananas (recorded by a lot artists that year)

Who’s Sorry Now by Lewis James

Down Hearted Blues by Bessie Smith

Lawdy, Lawdy Blues by Ida Cox

Southern Blues and Moonshine Blues by Ma Rainey

That American Boy of Mine and Parade of the Wooden Soldiers by Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra

Dipper Mouth Blues and Froggie More by King Oliver’s Creole Jazz Band, featuring Louis Armstrong

Bambalina by Ray Miller Orchestra

Swingin’ Down the Lane by Isham Jones Orchestra

Enjoy your public domain works!

[esyra]

Haven't heard from family in days. I feel like it's time to accept they're gone. I know in my heart Palestine will, one day, be free, but it wasn't supposed to be like this.

We feared another Nakba, and it happened. 700,000 pushed out of their homes in 1948 to 1 million being forced to leave their homes in 2023.

We thought it couldn't get worse or more deadly than the Israeli invasion in 2014, and it happened. We lost 2,251 people in 50 days then. Now we're past 2,300 in one week.

What I heard most from my grandmother the first days it's that "this time is different". And I feel like a rock is crushing my heart in pieces because i've been hoping that speaking out, teaching people about the historical oppresion of Palestine would help but it's not helping. Nothing is changing.

I feel like I'm screaming into a void. There's some sympathy from people online, until I see content documenting Palestinian oppresion being flagged as 'hate speech' or check the comments of any updates on Gaza and it's: "blame it on hamas", "tell them to give up hamas", "the hamas asked for it". They're not even among civilians!!!!!

My heart feels full seeing the manifestations in favor of Palestine, then I see police forces breaking protests apart and remember that the people that can actually save Gaza don't care.

If there's nothing left to do but to watch the extermination of my people, then I'm going to beg for anyone reading this to please don't forget. Please.

Israel is hiding behind Judaism to commit genocide against Gaza. Netanyahu supported the Hamas militant group to prevent the establishment of the Palestine State, and now he's using them to justify his agenda of ethnic cleansing. He abandoned Israelis and left them to die because he cares more about seeing Gazans dead!

Every single person and institution supporting and financing Israel is complicit. I hope the deaths of every Palestinian haunts you for the rest of your lives and that you never find an ounce of forgiveness, for you do not deserve it.

Just as in the Iraq War, the US government is financing and cheering for the slaughter of millions of innocent Arab lives. The media is complicit by engaging in biased propaganda and other nuclear powers, such as the UK and Germany, are complicit too. You are fascists and war criminals and every drop of Palestinian blood is in your hands. I hope every single day, for the rest of your lives, you look in the mirror and see nothing but the blood you've helped spill.

This serves as yet another proof that not a single Western in a position of power, be it in the media or in government, sees Arabs as humans beings.

For decades, the US has comitted terrorism and crimes against humanity in the Middle East and has NEVER been held accountable. Over one million in Iraq; over 150,000 in Afghanistan; and now they'll turn Gaza into a graveyard. Punishing selected soldiers over the years does not erase the fact that the American military and its government validates their crimes during execution and are never punished for it.

Please never forget: Joe Biden is a genocidal terrorist, Rishi Sunak is a genocidal terrorist, the American Democrat Party and UK's Labour Party are led by genocidal terrorists, the European Union is led by genocidal terrorists, fuckass Walt Disney Company is led by genocidal terrorists; every celebrity that called for Palestinian death or stood by silently while ignoring our suffering is a genocidal terrorist.

May Allah protect the people in Palestine and grant the martyrs the highest level of Jannah. Wallah what keeps me here is knowing that the Akhirah is theirs. May Almighty Allah grant us imaan and Taqwa as high as the people of Gaza. Ameen.

[artist-issues]

I Hate How She Talks About Snow White

"People are making these jokes about ours being the PC Snow White, where it's like, yeah, it is − because it needed that. It's an 85-year-old cartoon, and our version is a refreshing story about a young woman who has a function beyond 'Someday My Prince Will Come. "

Let me tell you a little something's about that "85-year-old cartoon," miss Zegler.

It was the first-ever cel-animated feature-length full-color film. Ever. Ever. EVER. I'm worried that you're not hearing me. This movie was Disney inventing the modern animated film. Spirited Away, Into the Spider-Verse, Tangled, you don't get to have any of these without Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937.)

Speaking of what you wouldn't get without this movie, it includes anime as a genre. Not just in technique (because again, nobody animated more than shorts before this movie) but in style and story. Anime, as it is now, wouldn't exist without Osamu Tezuka, "The God of Manga," who wouldn't have pioneered anime storytelling in the 1940s without having watched and learned from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in the 1930s. No "weeb" culture, no Princess Mononoke, no DragonBall Z, no My Hero Academia, no Demonslayer, and no Naruto without this "85-year-old cartoon."

It was praised, not just for its technical marvels, not just for its synchronized craft of sound and action, but primarily and enduringly because people felt like the characters were real. They felt more like they were watching something true to life than they did watching silent, live-action films with real actors and actresses. They couldn't believe that an animated character could make kids wet their pants as she flees, frightened, through the forest, or grown adults cry with grieving Dwarves. Consistently.

Walt Disney Studios was built on this movie. No no; you're not understanding me. Literally, the studio in Burbank, out of which has come legends of this craft of animated filmmaking, was literally built on the incredible, odds-defying, record-breaking profits of just Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, specifically.

Speaking of record-breaking profits, this movie is the highest-grossing animated film in history. Still. TO THIS DAY. And it was made during the Great Depression.

In fact, it made four times as much money than any other film, in any other genre, released during that time period. It was actually THE highest-grossing film of all time, in any genre, until nothing less than Gone With the Wind, herself, came along to take the throne.

It was the first-ever animated movie to be selected for the National Film Registry. Actually, it was one of the first movies, period, to ever go into the registry at all. You know what else is in the NFR? The original West Side Story, the remake of which is responsible for Rachel Ziegler's widespread fame.

Walt Disney sacrificed for this movie to be invented. Literally, he took out a mortgage on his house and screened the movie to banks for loans to finish paying for it, because everyone from the media to his own wife and brother told him he was crazy to make this movie. And you want to tell me it's just an 85-year-old cartoon that needs the most meaningless of updates, with your tender 8 years in the business?

Speaking of sacrifice, this movie employed over 750 people, and they worked immeasurable hours of overtime, and invented--literally invented--so many new techniques that are still used in filmmaking today, that Walt Disney, in a move that NO OTHER STUDIO IN HOLLYWOOD was doing in the 30's, put this in the opening credits: "My sincere appreciation to the members of my staff whose loyalty and creative endeavor made possible this production." Not the end credits, like movies love to do today as a virtue-signal. The opening credits.

It's legacy endures. Your little "85-year-old cartoon" sold more than 1 million DVD copies upon re-release. Just on its first day. The Beatles quoted Snow White in one of their songs. Legacy directors call it "the greatest film ever made." Everything from Rolling Stones to the American Film Institute call this move one of the most influential masterpieces of our culture. This movie doesn't need anything from anybody. This movie is a cultural juggernaut for America. It's a staple in the art of filmmaking--and art, in general. It is the foundation of the Walt Disney Company, of modern children's media in the West, and of modern adaptations of classical fairy tales in the West. When you think only in the base, low, mean terms of "race" and "progressivism" you start taking things that are actually worlds-away from being in your league to judge, and you relegate them to silly ignorant phrases like "85-year-old cartoon" to explain why what you're doing is somehow better.

Sit down and be humble. Who the heck are you?

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

new favorite video, yes!!❤️🤍💙 #RWRB #RWRBMovie #RedWhiteAndRoyalBlue thank you Aneesh!!

!! more VERY IMPORTANT RWRB content in this post: https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/739408729011781632/rwrb-this

Henry Fox & Arthur Fox-post here: https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/738761008290627584/when-alex-texted-henry-yo-theres-a-bond

----from: https://instagram.com/p/C1POyPot_ZC/

+ CMQ spotify (characters' playlists!!) https://open.spotify.com/user/p873j0jdmqn5hye7cakdnub7e/playlists

my RWRB instagram highlight here: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18198132073262637/

BTW for everyone interested: Red, White & Royal Blue: Collector's Edition Henry PoV bonus chapter by Casey Mcquiston : https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/752528941905018880?source=share

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

THIS SONG IS SO FIRSTPRINCE!! thank you Nick & Taylor, i'm adding it to my RWRB playlist!!

♥. and now some RWRB links here:

Matthew talking about Alex's bisexuality ahead of the movie:

Alex, our ACD, our bisexual king post:

our FIRSTPRINCE post/mostly beautiful pictures/:

FIRSTPRINCE EDITS(post with edits/links♥):

coming out-important post/A's speech(both movie+book versions):

RWRB DELETED SCENES post:

RWRB BLOOPERS/BTS post:

THAT SCENE-Alex and Prince Henry Flirt Over Text:

KARAOKE SCENE:

Them reading RWRB:

!! https://nicostiel.tumblr.com/post/725473496174575616/red-white-and-royal-blue-2023-text-posts

for more bonus content post, nick's other queer roles posts, more taylor etc visit my tumblr account and use the hashtags in the search!♥

+ https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/729333681897046016/the-delicate-art-of-the-grab-and-kiss?source=share

x x

[7grandmel]

Character Archives - [FILE-07]

Grand Dad

"Mario seven, uh, was that the one I played? Oh, let's check it out..."

For Walt Disney, it all began with a mouse. But for SiIvaGunner, it all began with a bootleg game, a streamer, and a pinch of insanity. Many have come after him, and many can claim to be funnier - but Grand Dad will forever hold the title as the first ever figment of imagination to come out of the bubbling mind of SiIvaGunner [FILE-01]. As a result, he has come to be a symbol for the channel in its entirety, the very embodiment of the SiIvaGunner ethos, and something of a dear friend in the eyes of its creator.

In 2014, a certain streamer under the name of Vinesauce Joel was going through the motions of his typical streaming routine - playing games of the oddest variety, and bellylaughing at the absurd results they'd deliver. Even as part of this greater whole, however, Joel's reaction to 7 GRAND DAD immediately became a standout moment, a series of events so perfect that the comedic timing couldn't have been coordinated to be any better. A mumbling Joel clicks on the game bizarrely labeled as "Mario 7", and is to his great shock met with the imagery of a garishly discolored Mario, placed onto an equally garish blue background, as bold letters declare the game's name to be "7 GRAND DAD". Before Joel can even properly process the twist he's been subjected to, only letting out a reading of the game's name, the game twists all expectations once again: An 8-bit rendition of The Flintstones theme, originally from The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy, kicks in - prompting a bewildered reaction of "FLINTSTONES?!" from the thoroughly befuddled streamer.

This is a sequence of events you're all too familiar with if you're a fan of the SiIvaGunner channel, yet nevertheless a necessary one to properly recount to understand just how core Grand Dad is to SiIvaGunner: Through this one 15-second clip of one streamer's reaction to the unpredictable world of bootleg video games, a small subset of internet dwellers on the platform SoundCloud realized that they'd uncovered a whole new genre of derivative audio work. Mashups and arrangements were always alive and well on the internet, yet always delivered with upfront honesty: To play into their derivative nature as part of the reaction, to present these edits as if they were the nostalgic, authentic real-deal video game music that you grew up loving, only to have the edit serve as an unexpected punchline, was the kind of brilliant idea that just had to be capitalized on. Thus, in January 2016, one lone internet dweller by the name Chaze the Chat started the SiIvaGunner (then GiIvaSunner) channel, and uploaded "Wild Pokémon Battle - Pokémon Ruby & Sapphire". The bait-and-switch foundation that laid the groundwork for all of SiIvaGunner, all built upon the concept of a bootleg Flintstones game pretending to be the seventh entry in the Super Mario franchise.

In our world, Grand Dad's debut to the online world is now over ten years old, his legacy on the SiIvaGunner channel being that of a figurehead mainly representative of the simpler times that the channel has long since grown up from. Yet in the SiIvaGunner universe, to SiIvaGunner himself, Grand Dad is the beating heart of the entire channel, the first spark of imagination which binds his whole universe together. Every figment made since the channel's inception owes its existence to Grand Dad, and with every step SiIvaGunner underwent across his original 2016 run, Grand Dad was right there alongside him, an enduring voice in his head steering the channel onward. And even as his creator fell into a deep slumber, as The Voice Inside Your Head [FILE-03] set his plans into motion to extract SiIvaGunner's figments into the real world, Grand Dad was at the front lines of the resistance fighting in his name - and remains a symbol of hope for all figments caught in The Voice's tyrannical reign.

Across eight years of the channel's life, Grand Dad has gone through so many phases in reception: As a novel joke, as a beacon of hope, as a redundant and played-out bit, looping around into being used ironically, followed by a loop-back-around into being genuinely appreciated. Event after event, album after album, Grand Dad has become a genuine symbol of everything the channel does, and continues to appear to represent it across all of its twists and turns. It's no small feat for a figment to have endured in relevancy for as long as Grand Dad has, and no matter where the channel is headed, you can sure that he's here to stay.

[hero-israel]

I think there needs to be a reckoning about how so many white (passing) American secular/nonpracticing antiZionist Jews can say "Not in my name, Israel doesn't speak for us!" and then think they can speak for Israel. How so many of them can have a limited familial connection to Israel, have such a disdain for Israelis, Israeli culture and society, and Israel as a concept, and then have the gall to act like their opinions matter?

I see their attitudes be described as fear, but to me it strikes me as more than just fear. A lot of them, I suspect, have incorporated antiZionism as a fundamental part of their Jewish identity. It's not just a disagreement, they're not just saving face. Take away the Goyim and talk to them privately and they still believe what they believe, and express it in the same way. They hate Israeli Jews.

And Israel is only going to become less Ashkenazi (aka less "white") as time marches forward. The bad faith hysterical Israel bashing and condescension is only going to look more and more like Orientalism, and frankly, racism.

I think it's very possible that calling something antisemitic can't just be a catchall term when this chicken comes home to roost. I think if there aren't already, there will be distinct forms of antisemitism, some that only Diaspora Jews face and some that only Israeli Jews face. And if this is true or will end up being true, it's pretty important that we not speak over each other's experiences. To do that we have to recognize these experiences and respect them. Do some Israeli Jews disrespect the Diaspora experience? Yes, from what I've seen. Is it nearly as vitriolic and is it growing nearly as quickly as the disrespect for the Israeli experience among antiZionist American Jews? Not even close.

All this divisive language to say: sometimes when Israelis say "so and so is antisemitic!" in the context of antiZionism, they're talking about themselves, their experiences, the stakes for them, and not Americans. So maybe we should all learn to stay in our lanes sometimes.

A lot of Israeli Jews disrespect, or at least are unable to grasp, diaspora existence, particularly when it comes to Americans. I can't even count the number of times I read Israelis say "Why are you American Jews so upset about Trump? Don't you see how good he's been for Israel?" Which is the worst damn argument a person could possibly use - it feeds into both left-wing and right-wing antisemitism, while ignoring that American Jews live HERE and are at risk from Trump's fascist cult and general lawlessness. And it is bad FOR EVERYBODY to have "pro-Israel" become the position of stroke-babbling grotesque racist criminals, and also for America to be too focused on anarchic decomposition and Yugoslav-style street warfare to be able to support Israel like it traditionally has.

And because turds of a feather flush together, Netanyahu wants ALAN DERSHOWITZ to be Israel's advocate if the ICJ case proceeds. I knew Netanyahu was a senile failure undermining all the strengths he had ever built for the country and this is just the shit cherry on top of the shit sundae. Alan Dershowitz is the ultimate stereotype of a Boomer who was kind of useful in the 1980s-90s and became awful and embarrassing now, Trump is surrounded by them (i.e. Rudy Giuliani). Your grandma in Florida remembers Alan Dershowitz for writing "Chutzpah" and being tough and quick-witted, and everybody under 40 knows Dershowitz as a Trump cultist and Epstein fuckbuddy. Big "Vladek Spiegelman can only compare his artist son to Walt Disney" energy. There are surely thousands of lawyers better-suited for the role, just off the top of my head I'd prefer Eugene Kontorovich and so should anyone who is more aware of the world as it actually is than how it was in 1994.

I say all that to parallel your original point, not to contradict it. Yes, the American Jews who performatively loathe Israel are by and large just an Extremely Online phenomenon of the most college-town bubble-protected, least observant, least affiliated, and least aware of non-Ashkenazim. It is not so hard for American Ashkenazim to stay protected from antisemitism as long as they totally unplug from their Jewish identity and any public-facing aspects of it. Can't be killed in a synagogue or JCC or kosher store if you never go in, head tap.

[highrepubliczine]

✨ Special announcement ✨

We are thrilled to announce that Starlight will feature a foreword from renowned High Republic author, Cavan Scott!

Cavan Scott began his writing journey by submitting short stories to Doctor Who fanzines, and we are delighted and honored that he accepted our invitation to write a foreword for this project celebrating Phase 1 of The High Republic.

You can follow Cavan Scott at cavletter.com and instagram.com/cavanscottwriter

Preorders for Starlight will only run through October 13, so order your copy now!

✨Preorder your copy here!✨

*Starlight is a fan-made project. Starlight is not associated with or endorsed by The Walt Disney Company or Lucasfilm, and is not officially licensed Star Wars merchandise.

[ravenqueensspecialboi]

I feel like people have heard about the time Bram Stoker sent his tinder bio to Walt Whitman but haven’t actually read the tinder bio so in honor of Dracula Daily’s return (and me finding my copy of Dracula that actually had the correspondence between Bram Stoker and Walt Whitman), here’s Bram Stoker’s pass at Walt Whitman:

I am not Shelley and you are not Godwin and so I will only hope that sometime I may meet you face to face and perhaps shake hands with you If I ever do it will be one of the greatest pleasures of my life. If you care to know who it is that writes this, my name is Abraham Stoker (Junior). My friends call me Bram. I live at 43 Harcourt St, Dublin. I am a clerk in the service of the Crown on a small salary. [’How did I get the impression that he was still in college?’] I am twenty-four years old. Have been champion at our athletic sports (Trinity College, Dublin) and have won about a dozen cups. I have also been President of the College Philosophical Society and an art and theatrical critic of a daily paper. I am six feet two inches high and twelve stone weight naked and used to be forty-one or forty-two inches round the chest. I am ugly but strong and determined and have a large bump over my eyebrows. I have a heavy jaw and a big mouth and thick lips - sensitive nostrils - a snubnose and straight hair. I am equal in temper and cool in disposition and have a large amount of self control and am naturally secretive to the world. I take a delight in letting people I don’t like - people of mean or cruel or sneaking or cowardly disposition - see the worst side of me. I have a large number of acquaintances and some five or six friends - all of which latter body care much for me. Now I have told you all I know about myself. [’And a mighty graphic picture it is too: I seem to see you not as in a glass darkly but as in the broad day lightly: I do, I do!’]

Bram Stoker originally penned this in 1872, but only sent it to Walt Whitman along with a second letter in 1876 after attending a meeting at Dublin’s Fortnightly Club, where he had, in his words, participated in a “hot debate” over Whitman’s poetic “genius”

[whimsicalwordsmith53-library]

A Promise is Timeless

Chapter One: Prologue

Word Count: 1,405/8,505 characters

Reading Time: 5 minutes, 7 seconds

Speaking Time: 7 minutes, 49 seconds

———————————————————————

*July 17th, 1955*

The grand opening of Disneyland had drawn crowds from far and wide, and amidst the festivities, the infamous Captain Hook found himself reflecting on the surreal nature of it all. As he stood near the Sleeping Beauty Castle: a beacon of Walt Disney's imagination turned reality, Hook's thoughts were interrupted by the approach of the man himself—Walt Disney.

"Walt," Hook greeted with a respectful nod, adjusting his hat as he acknowledged the visionary responsible for bringing so much magic to life.

Walt Disney smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling with pride and exhaustion. "Captain Hook," he replied, extending a hand. "Quite a day, isn't it? How are you finding the park?"

Hook hesitated, momentarily taken aback by the genuine interest in Walt's voice, and gently shakes the king’s hand. "It's... quite something," he admitted gruffly, his gaze sweeping over the bustling crowds and meticulously crafted attractions.

Walt chuckled, sensing Hook's mixed feelings. "I imagine it must be strange for you," he remarked, his tone gentle yet probing. "Seeing your world, your story, come to life in such a way."

Hook shifted uncomfortably, the weight of Walt's words sinking in. "Aye, strange indeed," he conceded, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. "To think we villains, born of ink and imagination, now walk among your guests."

Walt nodded thoughtfully. "You're a part of our stories now, Captain Hook," he said earnestly. "And this park is for everyone—heroes, villains, and everything in between. It's about bringing joy and wonder to all who visit."

Hook glanced down at the pocket watch hanging from his coat, a gift from Walt himself symbolizing their shared commitment to storytelling and imagination. "Thank you, Walt," he murmured sincerely. "For this park, for believing in us villains, and for making dreams a reality."

Walt smiled warmly, his fatigue momentarily lifted by Hook's gratitude. "It's my pleasure, Captain. Disneyland is for dreamers of all kinds, and you, my friend, are most welcome here."

As they stood together, watching families embark on their own adventures through the enchanted lands of Disneyland, Hook felt a sense of belonging he hadn't expected. In that moment, amidst the magic and the memories, he understood that Walt Disney's dream was indeed a powerful one—one that bridged the gap between fantasy and reality, bringing joy and inspiration to generations to come.

As Captain Hook and Walt Disney continued their conversation amidst the grandeur of Disneyland's opening day, a sudden cough interrupted Walt's silence. Hook, ever observant despite his pirate demeanor, turned to the visionary with concern etched on his face.

"Walt," Hook said gruffly, motioning towards a nearby bench. "Perhaps we should sit down for a moment."

Walt nodded gratefully, accepting Hook's gesture and easing himself onto the bench. His usual vigor seemed momentarily subdued, replaced by a hint of fatigue and vulnerability.

"I'm fine, Hook, I’m fine," Walt reassured, though his voice betrayed a touch of uncertainty as he rubs his neck. "Just a tickle in my throat. Lillian has been after me to cut back on the smoking."

Hook raised an eyebrow, settling beside Walt with a nod of understanding. "Aye, even kings must heed the concerns of their queens," he remarked, though his tone softened with genuine concern. "You've been pushing yourself hard, Walt. The park, the films, everything."

Walt sighed, a faint smile playing on his lips. "It's all worth it, Hook. To see this dream come true," he replied, gesturing towards the joyful chaos unfolding around them. "But perhaps Lillian is right. I ought to take better care."

Hook nodded in agreement, casting a thoughtful glance at the bustling park. "Aye, Walt. You've created something extraordinary here. Take the time to enjoy it."

Walt chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling with warmth. "You're right, Hook. We should all take a moment to appreciate the magic."

As they sat together, a quiet camaraderie formed between them—two men from different worlds, united by a shared vision and a mutual respect for the power of imagination. In that brief respite, amidst the whirlwind of Disneyland's opening day, Hook realized the depth of Walt Disney's passion and the impact of his dream on everyone who crossed its threshold.

And as the sounds of laughter and adventure echoed around them, Hook knew that this day would forever be etched in the annals of history—a testament to Walt Disney's unwavering belief in the power of dreams and the enduring legacy of Disneyland.

The afternoon sun cast a golden hue over Disneyland, Walt Disney's words carried a weight that Hook couldn't ignore. The conversation had taken a solemn turn, and Hook sensed the gravity of Walt's behavior.

"Hook," Walt began, his voice earnest and tinged with a hint of urgency. "Promise me something."

Hook nodded attentively, his gaze steady as he awaited Walt's words.

"When I'm gone," Walt continued, his eyes searching Hook's face for reassurance, "promise me you'll protect the villains. Maleficent, Queen Grimhilde, all of them. They're part of our stories, our world. Promise me you'll keep them safe."

Hook felt a lump form in his throat, understanding the trust and responsibility Walt was placing upon him. "I promise," Hook replied solemnly, his voice unwavering despite the emotions stirring within him. "With my life, I'll protect them. And the ones I love will guide me in that duty."

Walt nodded, a sense of relief washing over his features. "Thank you, Hook," he said gratefully. "I know I can trust you. You understand what it means to believe in something bigger than yourself."

Hook nodded in agreement, his gaze drifting towards the bustling crowds and the gleaming spires of the park. "Aye, Walt. This place is more than just bricks and mortar. It's a beacon of imagination, of dreams realized."

Walt smiled, a fatherly warmth in his eyes. "And you, Hook, are a part of that magic now. Never forget that."

As they sat in companionable silence, surrounded by the laughter and wonder of Disneyland's first guests, Hook felt a profound sense of purpose settle upon him. Walt Disney's dream had become his responsibility—a promise to safeguard the villains and preserve the stories that defined them.

And as the day continued to unfold, Hook knew that this pledge would endure long after the crowds had gone and the park lights dimmed—a testament to the enduring power of Walt Disney's vision and the bond forged between a visionary and a pirate.

*Present Time*

Captain Hook walked through the bustling streets of Disneytopia, his steps heavy with emotion as he recalled the memories of Walt and Lillian Disney. Their presence, once so vibrant and inspiring, now lingered in the shadows of the park they had built together. Tears threatened to spill from Hook's eyes, a rare display of emotion from the hardened pirate.

Gently, Hook retrieved the pocket watch from his coat, the familiar weight comforting in his hand. With a flick of his hook, he opened it, revealing two sides of significance. On one side, a locket held a precious picture of Walt and Lillian Disney, captured in a moment of joy and unity. Hook stared at the photograph, memories of their conversations and shared dreams flooding his mind.

"And now they're gone," Hook murmured quietly to himself, his voice betraying a mixture of sadness and reverence. "Their legacy lives on, but they are gone."

Turning the watch over, Hook noted the frozen time: 7:53. A poignant reminder of the moment frozen in time, just as Walt and Lillian would forever remain in the hearts and memories of those they touched.

"The sons carry on," Hook whispered softly, his eyes tracing the engraved initials on the watch; J.H&W.D. "Mickey and Oswald. The legacy of dreams and magic."

As he closed the pocket watch, Hook felt a renewed sense of purpose. His promise to Walt Disney, to protect the villains and uphold the spirit of imagination, burned brighter than ever. With a determined stride, Hook continued through the park’s mimic, where laughter and joy mingled with the echoes of a timeless dream—one that had shaped not only a company but a world of enchantment.

And as he walked, the pocket watch nestled close to his heart, Captain Hook knew that Walt and Lillian Disney's legacy would endure, carried forward by the magic they had created and the promise he had made.

———————————————————————

Chapter Two release date: August. More information on this AU lore will be explained in the next chapter. Hope you like this segment and hope to see you next month!

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @scottlava

Scott Campbell has illustrated numerous children’s books, including SKULLS!, Sleepy the Goodnight Buddy, and Zombie In Love. He was author/illustrator of the much-loved HUG MACHINE. He enjoyed a long career in video games, where he art directed the critically acclaimed game Psychonauts and Brutal Legend for Double Fine Productions. Great Showdowns is his ongoing online series. Scott’s work has appeared in galleries and publications around the world. You can see more of his work at ScottC.com.

Check out our interview with Scott below!

How did you get your start in art, and more specifically, with Great Showdowns?

I went to art school in San Francisco and have been painting, making comics, and designing video games ever since with Double Fine Productions. The Great Showdowns began at the first Crazy 4 Cult exhibition at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles back in 2007, an exhibition of artwork inspired by the cult classics of cinema. The first 10 little paintings were intended to be snack-sized pieces for people to easily collect. They began with perhaps the most iconic of wild west showdowns from A Fistful of Dollars with Clint Eastwood. I pulled some of my favorite moments from films like Ghostbusters, Predator, Exorcist, and Planet of the Apes and placed them all in simple little dust-colored squares as if they were in the dirt streets of a wild west town. They began as good versus evil but grew to all kinds of showdowns between people and objects and often moments of great love between people. I started a tumblr for them a few years later, and I have been posting them ever since. We have published three Great Showdown books and have had 3 solo exhibitions along with worldwide scavenger hunts. There are over a thousand of them up on the site by now, and i do not plan on stopping any time soon.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I would like to gather Jim Henson, Walt Disney, and Richard Scarry together for dinner and chats. They have all created my favorite and most joyful worlds. I think we would have some of the most delightful chats.

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

I love collage, but every time I try it, I get frustrated and just quit. Someday I will get into it when my kids are old enough to really mess around with various mediums. I plan to have boxes of textiles and magazines for them to just annihilate.

What does your work set up look like?

Oh, it’s just a table with an old mug for water and an old plate for my watercolors and not much else. I share a studio with a bunch of very inspiring people who make wonderful things, from fabricated creatures to VR experiences and films. I have probably the simplest little area in the space. I do have an old oak flat file that I love to look at.

Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?

The biggest thing I would push upon everyone would be to not fret about one’s visual style. The style will grow and present itself as you experiment with mediums and expose yourself to various cultural delights. Just have fun and try all kinds of things.

What is one interaction you had from a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I gave a game design presentation many years back on a game I had art directed at the time called Brutal Legend at a game conference in Leeds. The game followed a roadie to the age of metal in the land of metal, with demons and chrome volcanoes and hot rods growing from the ground, and rivers of happy and cheering fans. After the talk, I spoke with someone whose work I had seen in earlier portfolio reviews at the conference. She was very shy but incredibly talented. She came up to me after the talk feeling pretty emotional and inspired to the point of tears and sobbing. It was probably the most extreme reaction I have ever gotten from someone, and it touched me deep down in my guts. That’s why we make things! To bring on the tears!

From video games, to illustrations, and children's books, you've worked on many projects. What was the most challenging, yet rewarding one?

Video games take an enormous amount of work over a long period of time and rely on the skills and talent of many like-minded people. It is sometimes difficult to corral such an effort, but it is incredibly rewarding to see it all come together to create such epic worlds. That said, though, children’s books are very enjoyable in a cozy way. It’s just me right there working on a world and all the pressure is on me. I cannot rely on all the talented people around me to make it look great.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

I love perusing old fashion and film blogs and artists like Bob Jinx and Neil Sanders and collections like Its Colossal.

Thanks for stopping by, Scott! Be sure to check out the Great Showdowns over at @scottlava!

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 15

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Warnings: FLUFF, arm cast injury, Nana sassiness, crude language, innuendos, and Walt!

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Part 14

I lay in bed holding Emma for as long as she sleeps, refusing to leave her side for more than a quick restroom break. Emma is wrapped around my body as it helps her to relax and I’m more than happy to have her curled against me. Emma begins to rouse around ten am and I know she needed every bit of that additional sleep for both her exhausted body and brain to recuperate.

“Hi.” Emma whispers while sleepily rubbing her eyes with her left hand as she sees me watching her.

“Mornin’ Sugar. You sleep okay?” 

She nods but doesn’t say anything.

“How’s the arm?” I ask and she looks down sheepishly. 

“Hurts. I need some more Tylenol and maybe ice.” She admits.

“Let’s get some in ya then. After breakfast, I’m taking you to the urgent care and I don’t want to hear a word about it.” I tell her using my “captain voice” that she once told me she thinks is dominant and sexy.

“Okay.” She agrees knowing I’m not going to back down from getting her proper care.

She takes care of her needs in the bathroom before we brush our teeth and she sits on the bed. I walk over and pick her up where I wrap her legs around me before I start heading down the stairs.

“Austin. My legs aren’t hurt. I can walk.”

“I know, but I want to hold you.”

“You’re going to reinjure your leg carrying me around like this.” She says as she buries her head in my neck and goosebumps raise on my arms and neck from her mouth so close to my sweet spot.

“I’m a bit tougher than you think, darlin’.” 

“Oh, I think you’re plenty tough.” She whispers against my neck and I feel the blood rushing to my dick. Not now, Syverson.

I set her on the counter next to the coffee maker and start brewing us some coffee that I’ve been thinking about for the past 3 hours. I’m used to waking up much earlier than this and am usually finished with my second cup by this point. 

“Biscuits, sausage and eggs sound good?” I ask and she nods. I pull the frozen peas from the freezer and place them across her bandaged arm.

“Not a word about my canned biscuits.” I tease her and she holds up her wrapped arm.

“Not really in a position to tease since my homemade ones would be a lot more difficult to make today.” I was about to apologize again for her getting injured but am surprised when she kicks my rear with her foot from where she’s sitting and winks at me. I love when she’s playful like this, especially after what happened yesterday.

“When are we getting the dogs back home?” Emma asks.

“Whenever you’d like, Sugar. I can call PawPaw and arrange something after we go to the doctor.”

“Okay, I guess I need to call my parents and let them know what happened yesterday.” She says sullenly.  “I’m here for you babe. Whatever you need.” I tell her and she goes to get her phone and make the call while I make breakfast. I decide to call my grandparents while cooking and inform them that we obviously won’t be at lunch today. Nana tells me she’s still cooking everything and will package it up for us to take home when we get the dogs. I thank them both for dropping everything to help yesterday and of course they tell us that it was no problem. I ensure Nana that Emma is okay and I’ll keep them updated on what the doctor says about her arm. Nana is going all mother hen and asking to come clean her house or what she can do to help us and as sweet as it is, I just want to give Emma time to process without pressure.

Once breakfast is finished, I set the table and go in search of Emma. I find her on the back porch still on the phone with her parents who were obviously upset. 

“May I?” I gesture to the phone after Emma looks mentally exhausted and she nods.

“James? Diana? Hi, it’s Austin. I just wanted to reassure you that I’m taking care of our girl and taking all of the necessary steps to ensure he doesn’t get out of jail. My cousin, Walt, is a detective and has filed several charges against him and feels confident that between witness testimonies as well as parking lot footage from the store, he will receive significant jail time.”

“We are so grateful that you were there, Austin.” Diana says.

“So am I, I’d like to apologize for not getting there sooner. I have replayed the assault in my head time and time again and wish it had gone so differently.”

“Emma says that you almost killed him before taking care of her, so there’s no need to apologize.” James exclaims.

“I’ll be honest, if I had not been told to stop, I probably would have. I was so enraged that he ever laid a hand on her that I just couldn’t think of anything else. We will go to the doctor here in just a bit to check on her arm, and I promise to keep you guys informed.” I assure them.

After the phone call, I help Emma up and inside.

“Thank you.” Emma kisses me on the cheek.

“Not a problem, Darlin’. Eat up.” I gesture toward the food as I refill her coffee mug.

“Thanks for breakfast as well, but I meant talking to my parents. My dad almost lost his mind. I was running out of steam trying to reassure them and stop them from coming here.” 

“I can’t say I wouldn’t be the same way if it was our daughter in your position. Heaven forbid.”

Emma smiles sweetly. “Our daughter?”

I smirk at her and nod. “You like the sound of that or somethin’?”

“I do.” Those two words coming out of her mouth make me bite back a smile. God, I hope she’ll be saying them to me sooner rather than later.

“Me too, Sugar. You have no idea how much.” I reply before getting lost in the idea of a beautiful little blue-eyed baby girl that looks like her momma.

We eat our breakfast and get dressed before heading to the local urgent care. I know they have an x-ray machine and after the typical hour wait they take her back and examine her injury. It’s determined that she does have a hairline fracture but it shouldn’t need any additional care outside of a cast. She’s referred to an orthopedist next week for a more permanent cast and Emma is not pleased that she’ll have one for the next few weeks, already thinking of ways to convince the doctor that a temporary cast will be much more realistic considering her job. I call Nana on the way back from the doctor and let her know we’re going to head that way to pick up the dogs. I think some snuggles with Mills and Aika will help lift Emma’s spirits. We make our way to the farm and park and I help Emma out of the truck before the front door comes flying open and Nana comes flurrying out.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay!” Nana scuttles down the stairs and I turn thinking she’s going to give me a hug but she blows right past me and wraps Emma up in a tight hug. I can’t help but chuckle at Emma’s face who was clearly not expecting that either.

“I’m okay, Nana. Thanks to Austin of course.” She says and smirks at me.

“I’ve been so worried but Austin begged me to let you rest otherwise I would have been up at your house cooking and cleaning or whatever you needed.”

“Thank you, Nana. I appreciate it. Austin has been taking great care of me though. He’s been amazing.”

“Good. I should hope so.”

“Hi Nana. Nice to see you too.” I joke as she’s been ignoring my presence.

“Hi son.” She answered. Even though I’m their grandson, PawPaw always called me that when I was growing up and working with him on the farm and it kind of just became their nickname for me. I guess because he only had a daughter and my dad never stuck around, he considered me like a son that he could pass all of his knowledge too. Mark never really cared much for working at the farm and believe me, there were times when I hated it as well, but I found the tranquility in being able to mentally detach and build something or fix something tangible as well as working with the animals. Mark was more of the philosophical type who filled his time with school studies or high school girlfriends. I relished being outside and my PawPaw never missed a single football game growing up. Maybe that’s why I stayed so close with my grandparents even after the military sent me away for so many years.

I’m brought back to reality from my thoughts when the screen porch door creaks open with PawPaw sending the pups out to us. I immediately catch the ball of fluff running straight towards us to keep him from jumping on Emma. Mills’s tail is wagging so hard he almost falls over from his excitement. Aika is a bit slower but still just as happy to see us and receive all of the attention and scratches.

“Hi PawPaw.” I greet him as he makes his way down the stairs.

“Hi son. I held the hounds off as long as I could but they heard you and were just pitiful not being able to get to ya.” 

“How much has Nana spoiled them while they were here?” I ask.

“I didn’t!” I hear Nana interrupt her conversation with Emma to defend herself.

“The woman boiled them chicken for supper. Seasoned it and everything. Damn dogs had a feast fit for humans last night. Not to mention she gave them a treat for simply ‘looking cute’ or not barking at the chickens.” PawPaw mutters with a shake of his head and I can’t help but laugh.

“That sounds about right. I’m betting they don’t even want to come back home.” I chuckle as we all head up the stairs into the house. 

“Well she’s back on her soapbox about how she needs a dog now so maybe just let them visit overnight and I can keep holding her off. I’ve got too many animals to feed and tend to without adding more.”

“I’ll bring ‘em over for her to spoil rotten sometime in the next week or so.” I tell him and PawPaw just winks at me.

“Now, clue us in on everything that happened please. Your PawPaw never asks questions and I’ve got about a million of ‘em.”

I look at Emma and she nods giving me silent permission to tell them what happened.

“Emma has an ex who treated her badly while she was in Alabama and she got a restraining order against him. After she moved here, he tracked her down somehow and I called Walt who helped us arrest him for breaking the restraining order. We set her up with security cameras and an alarm system at her home which gave us both peace of mind when she wasn’t with me. He apparently has been following her and was able to somehow find that we were at the store where he attempted to kidnap her in the parking lot. I got to him and knocked him unconscious, and Walt was able to file several charges against him. He fractured Emma’s wrist in the scuffle and she’s supposed to go next week for a temporary cast which she’s not too thrilled about. That’s about it.”

“Oh, heavens. I can’t imagine how scared you must have been, sweetheart.” Nana coos at Emma who nods somewhat embarrassed. “I was. I’m so glad Austin was there and he’s been absolutely amazing. I just worry about him getting in trouble over it.”

“I told ya, Sugar, if he presses charges I’ve got witnesses and video footage to prove it was warranted. I wish I had done worse, honestly.”

“Ya should’ve just smashed his head in.” Nana mutters.

“Nana, what would the church think?” I playfully scoff and we all bust out laughing except PawPaw who just cracks a smile.

“I don’t answer to the church, I answer to the good Lord above and I think he might be okay with that since you were protecting your woman.” She says sassily and I can’t help but shake my head at her.

“You’re something else, Nana.” 

Before we can take the dogs home, Nana practically forces us to eat cookies that she’s made.

She packages them up along with the food that she made at lunch and sends us home with about eight different containers of food, one of which is labeled for the dogs. I load it all in the truck before putting the dogs in the backseat and going back to say goodbye to my grandparents and help Emma in.

I smile as Emma hugs PawPaw tightly and thanks him for helping us the other day.

“Y’all are family, and we’ll always be there if you need us. That goes for either one of ya.” He says and Emma looks flabbergasted to have PawPaw include her in a statement so loving. Those were rare from PawPaw.

“Thank you. We would do anything for y’all too and I’m so grateful to have y’all in my corner.” She smiles shyly at him before Nana scoops her into another hug with promises about lunch next Sunday.

I hug PawPaw tightly and then Nana telling them both that we love them before helping Emma into the truck and heading out. Emma is silent looking out of the window as we make our way down the long drive and when I finally get her attention I see a tear running down her cheek.

“Sugar, what’s wrong? You hurtin’?” I ask thinking either her period or her arm are bothering her.

“No, I’m just grateful. Your grandparents accepted me without any questions even with the drama that follows me. I’ve never had that with anyone other than my parents. Colin’s family tolerated me at best, but they didn’t like that I wasn’t wealthy like them. I wasn’t raised in prestigious private schools and country clubs. I always felt out of place or looked down upon. Your grandparents have met me a few times and seem to fully accept me as part of your family and it’s just the most loving feeling.”

“Aw, babygirl, they do love you. I have no doubt that both of those two old folks would drop everything they were doing if you needed them. You’re part of this family.” I entangle our fingers together as I hold her hand.

“It’s just overwhelming to be accepted so quickly, just as myself.” She says.

“Well, you are. I haven’t brought a woman home in years, not since I was in my early twenties. My grandparents are a great judge of character. Nana is very outspoken both good and bad and with PawPaw, I can just tell by his demeanor when he’s pleased or disappointed in me. I knew he liked you after that first lunch when he hugged you. He’s never felt necessary to conform to southern social niceties, which means he did that because he genuinely wanted too. I think they are honestly so grateful that you put up with my stubborn ass that they are hoping to convince you to stick around.” I joke and Emma smirks.

“You’re more than a handful. I’d say a mouth and two handfuls to be exact.” She crudely insinuates and I almost choke on my own saliva which causes her to giggle.

“Sugar, you surprise me at every turn. You’re this sweet innocent thing one minute and then your joking about taking my dick in your mouth the next. You’re the whole damn package.”

“I could say the same about you.” She sweetly giggles.

“I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.”

The following week has arrived and Emma has somehow convinced the orthopedist to use the hard cast for the next three weeks before moving to a temporary, removable brace. Her charm apparently knows no bounds. She isn’t thrilled about wearing the cast, claiming she feels like she’s back in high school after she broke her ankle from a cheer accident, but I can’t help but smile when she comes in with a blue cast on her forearm.

“Want me to sign it? I promise I won’t draw pornographic stick figures where anyone can see them.” I joke and she rolls her eyes with a gentle shove against me. 

“Not a chance. I’m already mortified that I have to wear it for the next three weeks. I don’t need any additional attention being put on it.”

“I think you look cute.” I kiss her forehead.

“You won’t think that when you’re having to help me put a bag on it just to shower tonight.”

“I promise, I will.”

While Emma is at work, I make an appointment in the next town over. Walt had asked if I wanted to get a beer sometime this week, but instead, I asked him to meet me for lunch. We met up at a fast food restaurant, called Milo’s, where we grabbed some food.

“What are we doing in Bouldin Creek for lunch?” Walt asks as he takes a bite out of his burger.

“There’s a jewelry shop here I need to go to and I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“Plan on getting yourself some new earrings?” He jokes.

“Plan on picking up an engagement ring I’ve been looking at online.” 

“Atta boy.” Walt says as he pops a fry into his mouth.

“Hopefully it’s the right one.” I say as I overthink what’s about to be a very large purchase, and I’ve never talked to Emma about her jewelry preferences.

“I’m sure it will be. When are you planning to pop the question?”

“I haven’t gotten that far. Still stuck on the how to ask the question.” I mumble. I’ve always been a very confident person, but I really don’t want to fuck this up.

“Well, when I asked Angie, I took her out do dinner. I don’t think I’d do that again. If she turned me down that would have sucked in front of everyone. But, we’re divorced so don’t take my advice.” 

“Noted.” I smirk and he punches my arm across the table.

“Don’t be a dick. I was young and in love. You’re just old and in love.” 

“I’m two years younger than you, asshole.”

“Yeah, and I’m old which makes you old too. Can you even get down on one knee?”

I flip him off and he chuckles.

“Yes, I can. I was thinkin’ about maybe just taking her on a picnic or something. Watching the sunset maybe? I don’t even know what I should say but I want to make it romantic for her.”

“Let’s go get the ring and we can brainstorm.”

“Thanks man. Any new updates with Colin?” I ask as we head towards my truck.

“He’s still sitting in jail waiting on the court date in two weeks to determine if he receives bail. We’re obviously making a case for him being a flight risk and asking for him to remain in jail, but I can’t predict what the judge will do. He’s got some outlandish claims which of course haven’t been backed up with evidence.”

“And what are those claims?”

Walt sighs knowing I’m going to get even more pissed off. “He claimed that Emma called him asking him to meet her there and rescue her from you. It’s obvious bullshit and he has no proof that there was ever a call. He’s just trying to save his ass.”

“Rescue her from me?” 

“I told you it was bullshit, man.”

“Jesus. The guy is even more of a pussy than I had imagined. Can’t take accountability for anything it seems. I plan on being there in court, but Emma hasn’t decided what she wants to do yet. I think it’ll be too hard on her to be there but if she wants to go I’m not going to stop her.”

“Well, maybe its best if you both stay away. I’ll be there and can let you know what happens. I think you’ll both just get angry and that’s not what either of you need right now. Why don’t you take her on a trip or something?”

“I’ll think about it. A trip might be a nice distraction from things.”

“Maybe take her somewhere and propose. The mountains, beach, tropical vacation? You’ve traveled more than me so I’m sure you have a better idea.”

“If by traveling, you mean in a damn cargo plane out to the desert, then sure. I have no desire to vacation in Afghanistan.” I joke and Walt rolls his eyes.

We head into the jewelry store and with mine and Walt’s careful opinion, I select the ring that I plan to propose to Emma with. We’ve only been together for a handful of months, but when you know you know, right? I don’t want to waste any more time just on the conventional approach. I have never felt like this with anyone before and I feel like my once in a lifetime, soulmate connection actually came to true. I want her to be mine, officially, if she’ll have me. 

That evening, Emma is home when I get back and I quickly and discreetly hide the ring with my ammunition on the top shelf of the closet knowing that she would never look there and she’s not tall enough to reach it without a stool. She hasn’t stayed at her house since the kidnapping attempt, claiming she just wants to be here with me. I decide to broach the subject over dinner.

“You still serious about wanting to move in here with me?” I ask and without hesitation Emma nods.

“Not because you’re scared of being alone, though right?” “No baby, I’ll admit you’ve helped keep the nightmares away but this just feels like home. It has from the moment I first came here and you being here is the main reason. Though if you want me too, I can go back to mine.”

“Not a chance in hell, Sugar. I want you here constantly with me. That’s why I was hoping we could discuss officially moving ya in and how to make that happen?”

She smiles and I grin back at her.

“I’d love too. What about the furniture?”

“Well, the guest rooms upstairs are empty and you have the eye for interior design. You can replace anything I’ve got in here if you’d like, except for a few sentimental things of my mama’s. Just tell me what you want to do and we’ll make it happen.”

“I don’t have a lot of stuff anyway. Should we list my house?”

“Let’s get it empty first so we’re not in a rush and then we can list it if you want too.”

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to live here with you.”

“I can’t believe I talked you into it, roomie. Let’s start this weekend. I don’t want to await any longer.” I smirk at her and she giggles.

“I also wanted to talk to you about maybe taking a vacation?”

“Where’d you have in mind?” She asks as she picks up her wine glass.

“Honestly, anywhere. I haven’t been on a true honest to God vacation in almost a decade and I’d like to take you somewhere and have some time with just us if you’re up for it.”

“I’d love too!”

“Maybe the beach? We could drive down and spend a week out in the sun.”

“That sounds perfect. I haven’t been to the beach in at least two years.” She says.

“Well, buy yourself some cute little bikinis and I’ll plan the whole thing, alright Sugar?”

“Oh, I’ll buy some bikinis, don’t you worry.” She sasses and I’m already itching to book this vacation and get us away from all obligations and responsibilities. If I plan it right, maybe I can use this as my opportunity to make a romantic proposal.

Emma, the beach, and a bed is all I need. I’m about to be one happy man.

Part 16

Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood, @sofiebstar

[dcwildwestfest]

The Prodigal

By FriendofCarlotta | @friendofcarlotta Art by aggiedoll | @romachebella

Coming to Ao3 on April 18th, 2024

Rated E | 19,500 words | No Archive Warnings Apply

Dean Winchester travels the wide-open country, looking for bounties to collect and doing odd jobs to make ends meet. Usually, he rides with his brother Sam, but they’ve had a falling-out and now Dean’s all by himself — until he meets Cas Novak, a preacher’s son in search of his missing father. Cas believes his notorious outlaw brother Luke knows something of their father’s disappearance, so he asks Dean’s help in tracking Luke down. Dean figures there’s no harm in helping out, and he might earn himself Luke Novak’s bounty into the bargain. All Dean needs to do is keep a lid on his growing feelings for Cas. (aka Free to Be You and Me, rewritten as a Western)

[Keep reading for a sneak preview!]

When they locate the sheriff’s office, they find the jail cell empty and the lawman tossing playing cards into his hat, which is sitting upside down on a chair across the room. A couple of Wanted posters are tacked up on the wall, edges curling up in slow rebellion where the glue’s gone too dry to hold them.

“Afternoon,” Dean says, with a nod and a tip of his finger against his hat brim. “Slow day?”

The sheriff shrugs, unperturbed at having been caught slacking off. “Every day’s a slow day ‘round here, brother.”

Cas pipes up from next to Dean with a breathless, “It’s an honor to meet an esteemed colleague. Being a man of the law myself, I mean to say. It’s an honorable profession, albeit a—”

“He’s new,” Dean says, desperate to cut off Cas’ nervous rambling before it rouses even this sleepy small-town lawman’s suspicions.

The sheriff emits an acknowledging grunt, eyeing Cas dubiously. “Name’s Lafitte. How can I help y’all ‘esteemed colleagues’?” He grins at them, sun glinting off a gold tooth.

Dean arranges his face into an expression of pained concern. “Our town’s preacher went missing some weeks back and we’ve reason to believe the outlaw Luke Novak is the one who took him.”

Lafitte’s eyes flick back and forth between them. “Where did y’all say you were from? Gotta be a mighty big place, to be able to spare both the sheriff and a deputy so’s they can chase after a preacher.”

Damn it all. Lafitte is much more shrewd than Dean expected a small-town lawman to be. “Hatsville, Missouri,” he improvises. “New town. Lots of railroad money.” Cas seems inclined to weigh in as well, perhaps to expound on the various attractive qualities of the fictitious Hatsville, so Dean hurriedly changes the subject. “About Novak. Heard he mighta passed near here recently. That true?”

The sheriff weighs him with a lengthy glance before he allows, “True enough. Didn’t come through Jubilee, but they say he robbed a train no more’n three miles from here. Most excitement we had in town was that no-account drunk Walt, claimin’ he met Novak on the trail and got his poker winnings taken. You ask me, it’s likely as not Walt stole the money in the first place. Wouldn’t be the—”

“Where can this Walt be found?” Cas asks, with the eagerness of a man who’s new to the hunt and getting a taste for it. Dean bites down on a smile.

Lafitte regards Cas with some disfavor, obviously not best pleased at having had his account interrupted. “Chances are, he’s at the saloon, trying to talk his way into a bottle of whiskey on credit he ain’t got.”

A man with information they need, desperate for a drink — hard to do better than that. “Much obliged,” Dean tells the sheriff and, with another tip of his hat, leads the way back outside. Somewhere down the street, high above the low-slung rooftops, the town clock strikes two.

[ratatatastic]

"Local kid makes good. Matthew Tkachuk, Stanley Cup Champion. So how does that sound? Stanley Cup Champion?" "I think it sounds better and better each time I'm hearin' it. It's been—I think—almost 2 months, I don't even know? Time has been flyin' but it just—each day is more and more incredible thinkin' about it." "So you're here to throw out the first pitch with Jayson Tatum, you're both Chaminade proud, like, you knew each other back then, you were friends in high school, and you're still friends—tell me about that relationship." "Yeah, it's been really incredible watching him—I think we both started out in the league very similar years. I might've been a year before when he was at College but it's been absolutely incredible to follow along his journey, and his career. I still keep in touch every now and then. I know we've played Boston the last few playoffs and he's been to a few of the playoff games for me. I went to one of his playoff games last year when we were in Boston. So really, really cool just to watch him, it was really cool to see him play in person. I'm excited to see him, and throw out that pitch with him today."

los angeles dodgers @ st louis cardinals pregame | 8.18.24 (x)

"When you guys were younger—both obviously stand-out athletes—did you ever imagine you would be a Stanley Cup Champion one day? And he would win a NBA Championship with the Celtics? Did that ever cross your minds?" "No, I mean, he was way better at his sport than I was at my sport when we were that young... I think I had a pretty good idea that he was gonna be a star basketball player. I guess you don't really think about Championships at that time of your life. You always dream about it but do you really think its gonna happen? And for us to do it, you know, within a week or however long apart from each other, it just—what a great time for all of our friends and family, and people that are just supporting us in St. Louis. I feel like St. Louis with not having teams to—you know, in their city to root for, I feel like they really kind-of hopped on and rooted for us and the Celtics. That made us, especially being from here, made us feel really special." "City was behind ya, one hundred percent! Let's talk about the final. You guys were up three-zip, it goes to a Game 7. What's that like?" "It's not supposed to be easy! I feel like it wouldn't have made sense or worked if it, you know—wasn't that scenario. It was always gonna be a long series. For us to win the first 3 and then lose the next 3—I mean, that wasn't ideal but at the end of the day we were comin' back to our incredible fans in Florida for a Game 7 Stanley Cup Final. What an incredible environment! That is a dream game! You always talk about the Game 7s when you're younger, and those are the moments you dream of, and I got to live out a dream this year." "What was it like sharing it with your pop? You know in the postgame coverage, I see your dad all over the place, your brother, your sister, your mom—what was it like sharing it with them?" "It was amazin'! Just handin' the Cup to my dad on the ice afterwards was super special there—the moment where he was actually in the locker room after the game when, you know, friends and family were startin' to come down, and I got to hand it to him, we got to beer-shower him, he got to lift it up in front of all my teammates, they were all goin' nuts for him too! Because they know that he played such a long time, and unfortunately wasn't able to win one in his playing career but I think he would've, you know, traded that all and done it exactly the way it happened for one of his boys to win it. It was such a family—It was such an incredible time for our whole family and I'm so lucky to have such great support from them." "Fun to watch too! Last thing before we let you go. You look good in the Cardinals red, Cardinals cap—there was a time where your dad, Big Walt, liked the Red Sox... please tell me you're a Cardinal fan..." "I am a Cardinal fan! Yeah, that time is—I was a big David Ortiz fan so when he was on the team like he was...him and Albert [Pujols] were my two favourites so it's actually pretty cool I got to hang out with Albert over summer in a golf tournament—the ACC tournament out in Lake Tahoe. He was one of my sports heroes! Yeah, I've been a Cardinals fan ever since I can remember with Albert." "Congratulations on getting the Cup, thanks for the chat!" "Yep, thank you!"

[lttleghost]

The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️

(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)

While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.

This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.

But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself. 

There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-

EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]

I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-

Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down. 

There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience. 

I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.

So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.

I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.

Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with. 

But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.

Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.

So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.

The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood. 

Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.

Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one  Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.

And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.

Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.

Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.

Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”

It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.

and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.

I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.

I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally. 

In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.

And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.

But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.

Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.

At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much. 

I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;

I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.

But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy). 

And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.

And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.

Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.