#he's hilarious tell them Rich!!!!
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Richard "I directed the Cas confession episode" Speight Jr spotting Destiel nods in S6: FORESHADOWING
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lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection
#lime: yeah mochis not a huge deal i mean were friends#af (after affection) lime: *needs to dunk his head in the sink at least once a week trying to snap himself out of thinking about her*#anyway. its been a while since them i miss them#my recent development is taking away limes mochi cuddle time#it makes more sense for the slow burn if he cant cuddle with her whenever he wants#starve him#lime: (why would i like her shes so plain shouldnt i be with like some supermodel or something ??)#lime: (the kind of person everyone wants but cant have??)#also lime when mochi smiles at him: (i want to kiss the shit out of you)#i think there something about limes family where being a goldwood means being expected to be a cut above#where its ingrained they should only be/settle for the best of the best#so lime catching feelings for this (pre-reveal) very normal and plain forgettable girl that no one else seems to give a shit about..#...is a struggle for him#tiramisu thinks its laughable because the goldwoods arent part of the magic community#she thinks its hilarious how they are lowkey obsessed with being successful and top-notch when they literally have no idea whats going on#i dont think the goldwoods are even especially rich#maybe its just one of those (parents being hard on you so you can have a better life than they did) kind of things#but they are known to be a well-connected and beautiful family#any goldwood you meet i the prettiest person youve ever seen#i wonder if they were disappointed or proud of lime when they found out he joined the capitol guard#his sister became a dentist#maybe it was one of those (why would you join the military...youre going to struggle...)#and then he tells them his paycheck and all of a sudden theyre like (we're so proud!!!)#(the capitol guard in general has pretty normal pay but the m-34th gets way more as a specialized unit)
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My dad is reading Seb's Wikipedia page now 😭😭 I think I got him guys 😭
#he'll ask me random questions like:#'is he self made(i.e. are his parents rich)' 'whos he married to' etc#and i tell him and hes like 'ah very good :)' so i think i have made him fall in love#so hilarious to me that ive gotten him into my two old men#HE LOVES THEM OKAY!!!!!!#i got my shirt and he was reading up on all the info#but the fact that hes now reading the wikipedia. my god. i really got him 😭#tho ive shown him some radios from seb before and i think he liked him since then#he chuckles at how much i love seb but seriously no one is immune#he said he likes fernando the most though haha#im just like: okay but how do i sit him down and regale seb's entire career LOL#how do i impart upon him all this knowledge without sounding like a maniac#catie.rambling.txt
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instead of going to bed i'm ranking disco elysium characters by where they'd fall on my blunt rotation
#listen this is VERY different than just 'do i like the character' its how much would i want to smoke w them or how entertaining do i think#it could be. so ones i dont like like light bending mega rich guy make the cut bcus i think that'd be hilarious & maybe he'd get too high#and give you a thousand dollars or whatever#& like tell me it wouldn't be entertaining to get morell high. i cant picture smoking w lena tho sorry]#& listen i love titus but i dont think i could smoke around him i'd feel too intimidated. same w lillienne & elizabeth#ik it might be surprising i pass on smoking with evrart but listen if i was high around him i feel like he could like. mind game me#into agreeing to be his sex slave or some shit. love him but cant let your guard down that much aroudn him#also oops i meant to put gary in nightmare#also sorry steban & ulixes love you guys but you would be so fucking insufferable#texticles#de#disco elysium
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every time i'm reading tiktoks about how sons cannot inherit their mother, girlie you need to reread the funeral in the secret history
#no matter how much charles can call them zeroes and call kathy a creature from hell#or how much richard compares bunny to his father and oldest brother#he's nothing like them#he's all kathy#kathy is all him#the way kathy corcoran talks. the things she talks about. the way she behaves.#she and him are the same person to the core and richard and charles hate women so they can't#see that#yes life principles but at the same time FGHJK they also were similar as people#where do you think he learned shit about roses and sensibilities about the rich#GHJKL#that always baffles me#he keeps a picture of his mother in his bedroom. she's his life model and perfect creature more than the father that he himself calls louse#his father that he never really Trusts with anything#the most telling thing to me about the whole cursed ass family is that he reaches out to JULIAN#julian is who he wants to be as a man TM not his Lousy Bank President Father TM#which is absolutely hilarious#when you consider julian's solution is to go no contact with them lmao king
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gojo and geto would actually be the type to slowly coax you into a poly relationship and you wouldn’t even realize it. 
they are best friends and they’re just plain rich assholes who do what they want and flaunt their money all over the place and somehow you end up doing something minor like spilling coffee on gojo’s expensive ass pants or something and now you’re trying to repay the debt and he’s making you do just a bunch of stuff for him like his laundry, groceries, cleaning his apartment, etc.
he thinks it’s hilarious and cute.
geto convinces gojo to let him borrow you from time to time but instead of cleaning he just wants to talk to you, at first. he is asking you how you feel about gojo, implying that gojo likes you and you’re suprisied but doubtful. he tells you to try to be sweeter to gojo and the more you listen to him, the more you start to like him. he even wins you over by buying a few expensive gifts just so you’ll be nice to his friend.
one day geto comes over and try to get you to come to this party with him and gojo, which would lead him to adding that your arrangement and you’d just sigh and decide to go. getting tipsy isn’t the best and you’ll learn that soon when you end up dancing against both of them. grinding all over while you’re sandwiched between them and gojo is kissing the back of your neck and geto is now kissing your lips.
you wake up with a headache and in gojo’s bed in the middle of the both of them. you’re blushing and you see that you’re only barely clothed, you hurry to leave before they wake but before you’re even down the stairs they’re calling out to you.
you get a few text messages from them saying they need to talk to you and to meet with them. you don’t reply eventually they have to come to you. they confess that they’ve been trying for more than a few months to get you to see how much they wanted you and with the coffee incident it just helped more.
blah blah blah and then they just pitch the idea and you’re just like “i guess we can try.” nervous and such.
they wouldn’t even straight up get to having a threesome they’d ease it in by one on one sex then ease you into it by one of them starting to watch while you and the other are engaging and then after about a few months of taking turns then they’d finally get to it.
Like they’re kissing your neck and hands are just everywhere and all over. You’re losing your mind and at the same time everything is coming together.
no part two. no fic. don’t ask.
#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#getou x you#geto suguru#satoru gojo#gojo x y/n#geto x you#jujutsu kaisen geto#geto x reader#gojo satoru#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen#geto smut#getou suguru x reader#getou suguru x you#geto x y/n#getou smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk imagines#jjk smut#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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looking for something dumb to do
written for @steddiebingo 12 days of christmas mini event | prompt: proposal | rating: t | wc: 2,1k | tags: modern setting, past billy/steve, first meetings, flirting, fake proposal
read on ao3
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Eddie sits at the restaurant, scrolling mindlessly on his phone, waiting for Wayne.
He laughs at yet another one of those hilarious videos of parents doing the Grinch prank on their kids. Seriously, there are so many and he finds them infinitely amusing. He just sent the latest one to Gareth, knowing he’ll get a kick out of it too, and is waiting for his reply when someone slides into the seat in front of him.
He knows it’s not his uncle before he even looks up because he just texted Eddie to say he was running late– and ain’t that rich coming from the same man who’s always complaining about Eddie never being on time?
Anyway.
Eddie locks his phone just as Gareth’s reply comes in but he does get a glimpse of a string of laughing emojis before he looks up. “Sorry, man, that seat is–”
But the rest of the words die in his throat when his brain momentarily stops working. It does that sometimes, especially around hot guys. Like the one sitting in front of Eddie, staring at him with a tiny frown between his eyebrows, probably wondering why Eddie stopped talking like he got sniped.
“Taken. That seat is taken,” he finishes. Unlike me, Eddie thinks as he gives the guy an obvious once-over.
“Shit, sorry, of course, but can you– can you hear me out for a second?”
Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, his interest piqued. The guy is hunched over himself like he’s trying to hide and his voice has a frantic tilt.
“Uh sure, man, what’s up?”
The guy probably expected Eddie to tell him to fuck off because he lets out a relieved little sigh when he agrees to listen to him. Then he leans over the table, lowering his voice.
“Do you see that guy with the mustache waiting at the entrance? He’s my ex-boyfriend and a dick and he just showed up with the girl that he cheated on me with,” he explains hurriedly.
Eddie locates the guy waiting to be seated and the girl holding his hand. He’s hot and she’s hot but the guy sitting in front of him has them both beat.
“So I haven’t seen him since I caught them together and ended things with him and– you know when you break up with someone and constantly think about how things will go when you run into them again? How they’ll see you and realize they lost the breakup and made a mistake by letting you go?” Eddie gives a short nod and the guy keeps going. “Right so that was my plan, only there’s a problem because the guy I was meeting for dinner tonight stood me up and now I’m here alone and pathetic and fucking Billy is here with his fiancée! Yes, they’re going to get married! Even if he always insisted he would never do that and–”
He keeps rambling but Eddie is stuck on the fact that not only did this guy get cheated on but also someone stood him up. What the fuck?
If he ever went on a date with someone as hot as him, Eddie would lock him down faster than anyone can say–
“–help?”
Eddie blinks. Shit. The guy just asked him something and he has no idea what it was.
“Uh, s–sure, how can I help?”
Despite his flawless attempt to make it seem like he was paying attention, the guy can tell Eddie zoned out at some point. It drags an amused chuckle out of him. “I thought I could sit here with you until they leave or until they are seated and I can sneak out without them seeing me,” he says, running a hand through his hair and giving Eddie a sheepish look.
Eddie’s phone lights up with a text then. The guy’s eyes dart down, and even if he can’t read what it says, he makes his own assumptions.
“Unless– unless your date is almost here and you need me to fuck off before they arrive?” He says, his expression turning panicked again. He moves his chair back as if to get up and leave, almost taking out the poor waiter.
Eddie reaches across the table and grabs hold of his sweater, stopping him. “Actually my date is just my uncle and he said he’s running late,” he says with his fingers wrapped around the guy’s wrist.
His eyes flicker down, widening a little but he doesn’t pull his hand back. “So?”
“So you can stay.”
The guy visibly relaxes. “Fuck, thanks so much–”
“Eddie,” he offers when the guy trails off.
“Thanks, Eddie,” the guy says with a lopsided grin that makes Eddie’s chest flutter.
Eddie nods and leans back until his chair is balancing on two legs. He has no choice but to let go of the guy’s sweater. “So what are we doing here? Are we friends? Are we on a first date? Have we been dating for a while? What’s the game plan, big boy?”
The guy sputters, adorably flustered. “We don’t– we don’t have to do anything like that, man.”
“Why? I’m not pretty enough to make your ex jealous?” Eddie teases, pouting a little.
“No!” The guy hurries to say then realizes what that sounds like and blushes furiously. “I mean– no, that’s not it. You’re definitely pretty. Handsome. Hot. Uh–”
Eddie can’t help the way his grin gets bigger with every compliment until he can feel his dimples digging into his cheeks. By then the guy’s face is as red as the tablecloth. “Oh keep ‘em coming, sweetheart. Flattery definitely works on me.”
He chuckles nervously. “It’s just– I can’t ask you to do that, man.”
“Do what? Pretend that a guy like me can get a date with someone as hot as you?” He leans forward again, resting his chin on his palms and smirking. “Oh, baby, it would be my pleasure.”
“Jesus,” the guy mutters. Eddie’s blatant flirting doesn’t give him a chance to get his blush under control. “I guess we could pretend we’re on a date if you’re up for it.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie notices Billy and his fiancée following a waiter to their table. They’re going to walk right past them and there’s no way he won’t see Steve. As they get closer, Eddie catches a glimpse of the engagement ring on the girl’s finger–
“I’ll do you one better,” he says as he gets an idea. “Do you trust me?”
The guy lets out an amused laugh. “I just met you,” he says, and when Eddie shrugs like he’s saying– so? he adds, “Okay, sure, why not?”
Eddie shoots him a grin. “What’s your name?”
“Steve.”
“Your full name.”
“Harrington,” Steve says, his face pulling into a frown. “Why do you need my last–”
“Steve Harrington!” Eddie says loudly, watching as Steve’s eyes widen almost comically. The people around them whip their heads in their direction, including Billy and his girl. Perfect.
“I was planning to do this after dinner but I just can’t hold myself back anymore,” Eddie continues just as loudly. He furtively removes one of his many rings before pushing his chair back and standing up.
He shoots Steve a quick wink and drops down on one knee.
“Oh my God,” Steve whispers disbelievingly as he understands what’s happening. His shock only makes Eddie’s plan more believable.
“Steve, Stevie, sweetheart, I still remember the moment when we met like it was five minutes ago,” he starts, watching Steve’s lips twitch almost imperceptibly. “I remember thinking you were so fucking out of my league you shouldn’t even be talking to me, but fate willed it so, and now I’m lucky enough to call you mine. So now I ask you to let me call you mine forever. Steve, the love of my life, my Prince Charming, the best lay I’ve ever had, will you please marry me?” He finishes by holding up his ring, looking expectantly at Steve, wondering if he’ll play along.
He does.
Wiping a fake tear, he leans forward on his chair, cupping Eddie’s cheeks between his hands. “Eddie, our time together might seem short but I’ve always known I was right to pick you,” Steve says and Eddie has to hold back a snigger when he follows his lead– sticking to the truth as much as they can. “Now I’m picking you again. Forever. Yes, I will marry you.”
The people around them start clapping when Eddie takes Steve’s hand and slides his ring on his finger. He presses a kiss to the back of his hand, earning some cooing from the two women sitting on the table next to theirs. Billy doesn’t clap and his nose wrinkles when Steve pulls Eddie to his feet and into a hug, glaring at the back of his head.
Eddie can’t help but smirk against Steve’s shoulder.
“You’re insane,” he mutters into Eddie’s hair. It should be weird hugging a stranger but Eddie actually enjoys it. It feels familiar somehow. “Thank you.”
Eddie pulls back and grins, his hands still on Steve’s hips. “Aren’t you glad you picked me, huh, sweetheart?”
Steve lets out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, I am.”
“Eddie?” A familiar gruff voice says and Eddie whips his head around to see his uncle approaching, his eyes darting from Eddie to Steve to Eddie’s hands on Steve’s waist and Steve’s arms looped around Eddie’s neck.
“Wayne!” He says, his grin not faltering for a second. This isn’t the weirdest thing Wayne has walked in on when it comes to Eddie. “You’re just in time to meet your new son-in-law!”
Wayne’s eyebrows shoot up and next to him, Steve makes a strangled sound.
Eddie signals a waiter and it turns out to be the same one who was guiding Billy and his girl to their table before. Billy is nowhere to be found, he probably scurried off to their table while Steve and Eddie were distracted with each other, hoping Steve wouldn’t see him. Serves you right, asshole, he thinks triumphantly.
“What can I do for the happy couple? Congratulations, by the way,” the waiter says and Eddie beams, pulling Steve closer with the arm wrapped around his waist.
“Thank you, kind sir. Can you get us another chair for my uncle?”
The waiter nods and goes to retrieve one.
“Eddie, you don’t have to– I can just go–” Steve says, a faint pink blush covering his cheeks.
“I can’t let you leave, Steve. We’re engaged now, it’d look weird,” Eddie says, and it’s true but he also doesn’t want to say goodbye to Steve yet.
And maybe Steve doesn’t want to say goodbye either because he folds easily. “Yeah, okay.”
They explain to Wayne what he walked into and his uncle gets a kick out of it. He and Steve get along surprisingly well, and by the end of the night, it almost feels like Steve was part of their dinner plans from the beginning.
Wayne leaves shortly after dessert but Steve and Eddie stick around for one more drink, neither of them wanting the night to end.
It has to, eventually, but Eddie is pretty sure that this won’t be the last he sees of Steve, not after they spent the whole night getting to know each other and flirting up a storm.
On their way out they run into Billy and his girlfriend, and Steve almost seems surprised when they do. Like he forgot Billy was there, despite him being the reason why he talked to Eddie in the first place. Their conversation is short but Eddie makes sure to hold Steve’s hand the whole time and call Billy ‘Bobby’ a total of three times just to annoy him.
After they leave, Eddie walks Steve to his car.
“Thanks again,” he says, leaning against the door. “For helping me out. And for dinner.”
“It was my pleasure,” Eddie smiles. “We should do it again sometime.”
Steve quirks an eyebrow. “Stage a proposal?”
Eddie chuckles. “Well, I was thinking about dinner but I’m always happy to get down on my knees for a hot guy,” he says with a wink.
A slightly strangled laugh tumbles out of Steve’s lip but his eyes sparkle with interest. “Maybe let’s start with dinner. Just the two of us.”
They exchange numbers, promising to call each other. When Eddie turns around to start walking toward his van, Steve calls his name.
“Don’t forget your ring,” he says, sliding it off.
But Eddie reaches out to stop him. “Keep it,” he says, “you can give it to me next time.”
With a grin, Steve slides it back on.
He ends up keeping the ring, but that’s okay because Eddie gets to keep Steve.
#steddie#steddie fic#steddiebingo12daysofchristmas#stranger things#stranger things fic#eddie is sooo extra and me and steve both love him for it#steve harrington#eddie munson#monse writes
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and they were roommates | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x youtuber!reader
summary: you and oscar are trying to keep your relationship a secret, so when you move in together you tell everyone your just roommates, it isn’t as believable as you thought it would be.
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liked by oscarpiastri, and 210,838 others!
yourusername: new city? new roommate!
view comments below!
user1: y/n in her monaco era ???
user2: i did NOT see this coming
user3: wait but i’ll miss your old roommate
user4: RIGHT ??? she was so funny 😭
user5: oscar in the likes ???
user6: what is oscar doing on a y/n post 😨
user7: what if HES the new roommate…
user8: reaching 😭
user9: oscar this oscar that WHENS THE BEW VIDEO ??? ITS BEEN WEEKS
user10: roommate? you’re a like gazillionaire why do you need a roommate ??
user11: why do you need a roommate ?? you’re rich ???
user12: hmmm something’s off
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and 726,028 others!
yourusername; new video with my new roommate! enjoy :)))
view comments below!
user13: roommate???? not with the way he looks at you
user14: AHHH NEW VIDEO
user14: OMG I LOVED IT
user14: IT WAS SO FUNNY ????
user14: YOU AND OSCAR ARE HILARIOUS TOGETHER
user15: are you SURE youre just roommates ???
user16: roommates don’t look at roommates that way 😾
user17: i watched the video, and i honestly think you guys should just order out from now on…
user18: why is oscar looking at y/n like shes the beautiful girl on planet earth
user19: because she is ??? 🙄
user20: these two are DEFINITELY not just roommates
user21: i don’t think i’ve ever seen roommates who look like they are restraining themselves from kissing every second of the day ??
user22: no yall are definitely dating….
user23: RIGHT ??? because this whole ‘roommate’ DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!!!
user23: LIKE THEY ARE BOTH RICH, WHY DO THEY NEED TO HAVE A ROOMMATE???
user24; the way they both so polite cat coded
user25: if you aren’t already dating, i’m going to need you both to start IMMEDIATELY.
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 835,017 others!
yourusername; why do i always pick rock? anyways guys yes i am dating oscar jack paistri, and he’s keeping me hostage.
view comments below!
user26: HELLOOO?????
user27: the feet pic ???
yourusername: yeah oscar’s really into feet ☹️
oscarpiastri: NO IM NOT????
user28: oh i love this…
user29: omg the love letter…
user30: clap if you’re suprised!!
user31: dead silence
user32: it’s kinda easy to tell you’re dating when you look at each other the way you do
landonorris: I KNEW IT!!!
yourusername: yeah we told you last year…
landonorris: exactly? I KNEW IT.
user33: omg he writes you LOVE LETTERS ??? @/user33boyfriend do better.
user34: wow i’m so lonely
user35: i have no idea who this people are, but instagram showed me this literally 20 minutes after my bf broke up with me
user36: so😭happy😭for😭you😭
user37: WHEN IS IT MY TURRN
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liked by, landonorris, yourusername, and 924,104 others!
oscarpiastri; she always picks rock. yes im dating THEE y/n l/n
view comments below!
yourusername; never beating the foot lover allegations i fear…
oscarpiastri: YOU STARTED THOSE ALLEGATIONS
yourusername: AND YOURE NOT BEATING THEM
user38: omg the locket 🥹🥹
user39: how long do you think they’ve been dating
user40: twitter detectives are SPECULATING 3 years or so ??
user41: how did they keep this a secret for SO long
user42: you like feet don’t you oscar…
user43: THIS IS SO CUTE IM HYPERVENTILATING
user44: THE LOCKET, THE MATCHING SLIPPERS, THE CUTE SOCKS?? LITERALLY SO CUTEYEYDJDKSS
user45: “she always picks rock” “why do i always pick rock?” i feel left out and i DONT LIKE IT
. . .
notes; the streets are saying oscar has officially moved to monaco ?? so here’s this:
#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fluff#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1
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What I think each batfam member would dress up as for Halloween - specifically in the context of a Halloween themed Wayne Gala - because I’m bored:
Bruce & Selina: they dress up as Batman and Catwoman, with Bruce (Brucie in this context) being Catwoman and Selina being Batman. The kids have the image of Bruce squeezed into latex burned in their corneas and they make an effort to not be in the same vicinity as him, lest they die from cringe or second hand embarrassment.
Dick: He’s shamelessly one of those really colorful South American blue parrots, he spends the night doing tricks and soaring through the air (think the Carnival costumes from Rio) and ends up breaking a punch table when he falls straight on his ass from seeing the horror that is Bruce in leather - he immediately gets covered in a shock blanket courtesy of Alfred.
Barbara: Decides to dress up as the kid from E.T with Haley dressed up as E.T in a basket modification she made to her chair. She runs over peoples toes by ‘accident’ throughout the night in aid (aka annoying them until they donate at least 1K) to push people into donating for whatever the charity of the night is.
Jason: doesn’t like celebrating Halloween, but somehow gets roped into dressing up as Jason Vorhees - the irony is not lost on him and finds it hilarious. He lurks in the corners of the ballroom to scare the rich snobs into paying into whatever charity is being funded that night by showing off a suspiciously red, very real, machete.
Tim: Couples costume with Bernard. Tim is Spock and Bernard is Kirk. Tim tries his hardest to stay in character the whole night, ends up freaking people out from the lack of expression and uncanny valley statue like demeanor on his face compared to his energetic boyfriend.
Damian: He and Nika dress up as Gomez and Morticia Adams. They’re very touchy the whole night like the teenagers they are. They salsa dance and become just as eccentric as the characters they’re playing that somehow at the end of the night they end up making headlines for nearly spending the night in jail for suspected ‘murder’ (they Carrie’d Bruce with real blood from questionable sources)
Steph & Cass: Matching costumes. Steph is Emily from the Corpse Bride and Cass is Victor. The special effects makeup is so realistic that it makes Tim break his Spock character and shriek/jump 3 feet into the air when they sneak behind him.
Duke: Dresses up in a Riddler costume and makes up bad riddles just to rub it into the Riddler’s face that he’s a lame old guy telling shitty googled riddles (Revenge for something that happened earlier in the week, not that anyone knows he’s signal, but a burn from a child of a celebrity hurts just as bad from one of a hero) - The Riddler ends up crashing the party seconds before Commissioner Gordon tries to take Damian and Nika in for questioning of where exactly all that very real blood they used came from.
#dc#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#stephanie brown#spoiler#batgirl#robin#damian wayne#cassandra cain#duke thomas#selina kyle#batcat#timbern#stephcass#the riddler#barbara gordon#oracle#Nika#flatline#daminika
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You Are A Wizard, So Pour Over The Tomes
Hypnosis is magic. It is not just “the closest we can get to magic.” Trance practices in all kinds of forms have served as the basis for mysticism across cultures and human history -- thousands of years. It is not new. It is not western. It did not start with Franz Mesmer or James Braid or Milton Erickson or Wiseguy.
Modern hypnosis stems from a rich human history of fascination and spiritual veneration of the mind’s power. We are practitioners of a comparably new discipline where we can literally change the way that other people experience the world. Their innermost selves are as leverage to us -- putty to us, when we know what we are doing. We can transform others freely. We can give pleasure or pain. We can facilitate experiences that seem to defy reality.
People talk a big game about respecting that power. What they usually mean by that is respecting EACH OTHER. That’s crucial, obviously -- not manipulating, not harming, being a good person.
But what about respecting the discipline itself?
It’s tempting to see what we do as disconnected from the “historical” and “outdated” methods of hypnosis. But we are a part of that history. We are likely hilariously wrong about a lot of things related to trance, hypnosis, the human mind -- what will hypnosis and psychology look like in 100 years? And even as we innovate, we are always building on the techniques and ideas that came before us -- in ways we are often not even aware of. We reinvent; we use ideas from the past unknowingly.
We have a right -- and a responsibility -- to OWN our magic. I am not here to gatekeep and say that this magic is not yours. It IS yours; it’s unequivocally yours. But as a whole we could do more to respect it.
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And hypnosis is not even a technology that we UNDERSTAND. The only real reason we DON’T see ourselves as wizards is because there is a huge motivation to legitimize hypnosis as a scientific discipline -- and non-rationalist perspectives are looked down upon in our culture. I’m not anti-science (maybe a little -- tongue in cheek) but I do think that labeling hypnosis as “just psychology” is dishonest about how much we actually objectively know about it -- and does a disservice to the phenomenon itself.
I’m not saying hypnosis is literally metaphysical. But I am saying we practice something very powerful without knowing its nature. There are secrets we have tried to suss out about this magic through history that we have written down -- past and present. We actually have tomes of knowledge, records of past experiments and modern inventors.
In the last couple of years, I’ve started teaching/facilitating “text studies” -- classes where we sit down with an excerpt from a hypnosis book and parse through it as a collaborative group. I desperately want to show people that there is value in just critically reading the resources available to us. The clinical texts -- especially older ones -- are hard to read, like they are almost in a different language. But it is amazing the insights we have come to by tackling them together.
These old texts are not pure truths -- there is a lot we’ve improved on over time. But we can learn a lot by learning what hypnosis was like historically. The entire discipline of hypnosis is extremely susceptible to change -- it is defined SO MUCH by how we view it culturally. I just recently was amazed at re-reading some Erickson where he talks about making his subjects daydream autonomously -- as a primary mode and result of inducing hypnosis. Contrast that with today, where if someone’s mind wanders for even a moment, they feel like they’ve failed. There’s something really important here -- a technique from 50 years ago that tells us something we’ve lost in modern practice.
And there are countless examples of this, of people losing and reinventing methods over and over. As I’ve watched our kinky niche grow over just the past 13 years, I’ve watched ideas phase in, out, and in again -- there is both growth and regression of our collective body of knowledge. That’s the nature of things, especially when we operate partially disconnected from the resources that are available to us.
We CAN be connected to the rich human history of trying to unravel the secrets about our minds, and about this thing that gives us enormous transformative powers -- powers that we take for granted.
You are a wizard -- so pour over the tomes.
Read a book. Read an article. Set aside some time and view yourself with the respect of being someone who can study and suss out a magical text. Take notes, look up words and concepts you don’t know. Or just absorb what you can on a first pass and go back later. Read a chapter or just master a single page. Romanticize the aesthetic of sitting with the scent of paper, or as the technomancer with words appearing on a screen.
Read. Own this art. And bring that respect of this art to the people you share it with. I promise you can do things with hypnosis that you have never thought possible.
------------------
This is a little motivational piece (for you and me!) as I gear up to teach "Analyzing Erickson" at Charmed. It's something I feel really passionately about, and I wanted to share it.
Permanently linked/free on Patreon.
#hypnosis#hypnok1nk#brainwashing#mind control#hypnosub#hypnofetish#my writing#this might be the thing i feel most passionate about
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Hope They Caught Us ‧₊˚ ⋅ Blue Lock Chars. (Request)
ଳ oh no, the paparazzi has revealed your relationship; what's going to happen now?ଳ characters; isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, reo mikage, michael kaiser, sae itoshi, rin itoshi, barou shoei, chigiri hyoma, shidou ryusei ଳ tags; pro player characters, gn reader, sfw
ᯓ Isagi Yoichi
Isagi wasn't really concerned about being "found out" in the first place. He mostly kept a low profile with you for your own privacy and safety.
If you're just starting out, he'd probably dodge questions about his love life. But after a couple of months, he'd gladly reveal it in a press con.
Being one of the top strikers, it became an unspoken rule in media to not be that "trashy" tabloid to mess around with Isagi's private life.
In a way, everyone respected the low profile he wanted for the two of you.
He'd probably be more open with sharing photos of the two of you once you're married. Maybe he'd even post occasional updates about your family.
ᯓ Bachira Meguru
He does the job of the paparazzi for them. Tabloids have no use in tailing him in public because he posts about you on his socials as much as he can.
Seriously. When he needs to promote an upcoming match, he'll use a picture of you wearing his jersey and slap on the caption his management asked him to.
It probably becomes a meme—how obsessed he can be with you. Oddly enough, it earns him even more fans.
When you get married... he will never shut up. Seeing his social media, you'd forget that he was a football player in the first place.
It's a different story if he had kids though. He'd be super pumped to share them and all their milestones, but he's responsible enough to know that they need to remain private for their safety.
ᯓ Nagi Seishirou
His management initially told him to keep a low profile with anyone that he dates. Being a famous footballer meant that he had to protect his reputation at all costs. Romantic relationships could be a slippery slope, so they wanted to safeguard his image as best they can.
He shrugs it off and promises that he will do that. Butttttt, not long after the two of you started dating, the paps already got to him. Suffice to say that his management was not happy.
The two of you were caught out in public getting some food. They could've argued that you were going as friends, but the way Nagi lazily wrapped his arms around your waist (force of habit) told people otherwise.
When the news blew up that he was dating someone—he shrugged it off. Again. His publicist trains him excessively to prepare for the upcoming press con, knowing that Nagi will most definitely slip up again.
The poor guy tries so hard to lie in front of the media, but it was too obvious. It was almost hilarious how he kept mixing up his answers. In the end, the management relented and allowed him to reveal your relationship without mincing words.
ᯓ Reo Mikage
Similar to Nagi's case, everyone tells him to keep the relationship a secret—his management, his parents, his financial advisors, and even a few of his friends.
It was a tougher situation for him because not only is he famous, but he's also disgustingly rich. That only posed more danger for you and especially for him.
There were plenty of close calls when the paparazzi would camp near his house and his usual haunts. But somehow... all the stories and articles get shut down quickly. Reo has his managing team (and some of his parents' connections) to thank for that.
So, people now have a slight idea that Reo might be dating someone. But that's about it. They have no idea about who the person is nor how serious the relationship is. When a photo or two goes under the radar and somehow makes its way on to the internet, people always assume it's edited or taken out of context.
The devil works hard, but Reo Mikage's management team works harder.
ᯓ Michael Kaiser
He's the type of celebrity that the paparazzi always gets ahold of. It's practically impossible for him to get away, so he gave up and accepted his fate. When he was still single—he didn't give a shit about them as long as they kept their distance and turned off the flash of their cameras.
But when you came into the picture... he became so so mean to the paparazzi. Even if they kept their distance from the two of you, he'd always throw a scarf over your head or hand you his sunglasses, so that you didn't have to deal with your face being plastered all over the internet.
He would definitely throw a middle finger or two if one of the paps tells you to smile for them or something. An article about Kaiser—with the now infamous picture of him—would be uploaded the next morning. But, honestly? Who gives a shit?
Grows to hate the paps with a burning passion. He literally can't have a calm day without them on his tail. And best believe that he'll express this disdain on every press con and interview possible.
Fans eventually come to his rescue and throw hate on every tabloid that keeps on hounding him and his precious significant other.
ᯓ Sae Itoshi
Sae is the only one safe from the prying eyes of the public. if he wants to keep you and your relationship private—then private it shall be. It's not that he's embarrassed of you, but he thinks that other people have absolutely no say in your relationship. What' between the two of you, stays there.
He rarely posts on social media. If he does, it's going to be a promotional pub for his next match or appearance. Not a single post about his personal life will be there, especially a post about you.
The paparazzi almost never catches him. Even if they do, it's always just him by himself doing mundane things. Eventually, the paps figured it was useless to track him down and decided to hound a different celebrity (his brother lol).
He secretly loves to mess with the internet by posting the most cryptic shit ever. It has everyone coming up with conspiracy theories, but none of them seem to stick (there's always gonna be that one "debunker" after all). When he randomly sees people debating and fighting on the internet about his posts—it makes him giggle a bit inside.
He'll probably only reveal bits of his personal life once he's retired. Maybe he'll tell people he was married and was with you for a long time now. For a star as big as him, the paps won't let him go even if he retires, but at that point, he could hardly care.
ᯓ Rin Itoshi
He hated the thought of having the public know about your relationship because 1) it will compromise your safety, 2) it will mean that a bunch of random extras would be talking about the two of you, and 3) his business is his alone. Rin's just an incredibly private person all around.
So smug at first because the paparazzi was exclusively going after his brother—being a huge pain in the ass. His smugness was quickly wiped away once the paps started hounding him instead. He definitely cursed his brother in his mind for "being so boring that even the tabloids got sick of him."
He would release a statement in which he tells the public to back off and that it's none of their concern if he was dating anyone. Although, it completely backfires because who mentions that out of the blue? Everyone knew he was reverse-psychology-ing them.
Of course, he was pissed about how his statement blew up in the wrong direction. You, on the other hand, found it quite amusing. To relieve his stress, you suggested to go out of the country with him for a while and enjoy a nice vacation.
As fate would have it, that was when the two of you were caught red-handed—being all over each other at a beach in Cancun. Rin was... not impressed when the pictures spread all over the internet. But you were there to cheer him up again! (He still won't give them the satisfaction of admitting to your relationship though).
ᯓ Barou Shoei
Barou's strict with himself and with you. His management team doesn't have to fret over him because they know he has it all under control. He reminds you constantly and teaches you how to be careful under the public eye. He's super sweet and considerate for that !
He asks you if your prefer the privacy or if you'd like to make your relationship public (He cares too much about what you think). If you prefer privacy, then he'd do anything and everything in his power to keep your existence under wraps. If you wanna go public, then he's making a statement tomorrow.
However, you do decide that you want people to know about your relationship; it felt more real that way. He takes note of it and does it in the flashiest way possible: inviting you down on the field to celebrate with him after a win.
The paps have an absolute field day with that moment. So many HD pictures of different angles of that celebration filled the internet for a month or so. Everyone thought it was quite cute.
You still kept a low profile after that. People knew about your relationship, but your safety was still his number one priority.
ᯓ Chigiri Hyoma
Chigiri could give two shits about the paparazzi. Let them follow if they want; it makes them look sad and pathetic shouting for his and your attention after all.
Don't get him wrong though—he's still concerned about your safety, so he does everything else in the background to make sure no one can do anything nasty to you even if your relationship is plastered all over the internet.
There wasn't any need for statement or confirmation from him. There were always paparazzi waiting for you when you go out to dinner with him. He'll still gladly hold your hand and whisper some reassurance into your ear.
HE IS THE TYPE TO RESPOND TO HATE COMMENTS ONLINE. And it's too funny. Chigiri has the best comebacks and one-liners to the haters which has fans rolling on the floor laughing. "That's why Chigiri is the goat," one netizen says.
You two eventually become a power couple that's referenced quite often in media. How cute.
ᯓ Shidou Ryusei
He was involved in an incident once wherein he calmly approached one of the paps, took the camera from him, snapped a photo of the guy right in his face, and said, "Doesn't feel good to be photographed without your permission huh?"
Safe to say that after that—the paps didn't want to do anything to him. I mean, he's already a menace on the football field (which is a regulated place, by the way), so what more if he was out in public without any restraint?
People knew about your relationship anyway. He wasn't shy about it and both of you were like YOLO—having fun over safety any day was your motto. (Thankfully, management was kind enough to make sure both of you were still safe though).
He's the type to overshare on the internet. It's to the point that sometimes you have to whack him over the head and ask him to delete a post because it revealed too much about his life.
Shidou shitposts on the internet way too often. So much so that people started calling his posts "Shidouposts" (affectionately). He also loved sharing memes about himself or about the two of you.
ε( ε ˙³˙)ɜ 。° ⚬ 。 likes and reblogs are appreciated
pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
o-sachi © 2024
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hi babe! ur a great writer, just letting u know
can i request a carl x reader where when they get kicked out in like s6, shes like this rich kid who bribes the bank into getting their house back? like the cops are kicking them out and she just pulls up with a notice, shoves it in their face and the cops leave? i think it’d be hilarious
lots of love🤍🤍🤍
Sorry about the late reply. I'm trying to get back into things. I hope you enjoy it.♥
Rich Reader helps Carl when they are getting evicted
Carl couldn’t stand what was happening to the house, but he wasn’t going to bring you into it.
He thought with Fiona’s loan looming over his head it seemed possible. After the auction, he didn’t want you finding out.
That particular early morning, you heard the sound of your parents popping champagne in the kitchen, and you walked up to them and asked, “What are you guys celebrating?”
You dad answers, “You know our top salesmen got a house bought in the area we are trying to buy out; When any of them go down, it just means another one, and another one, and ano-”
“I get it.”
Seeing yet again no response from Carl, out of sheer boredom you look over at the stack of papers on the kitchen counter top and you ask, “Do you mind if I take a look?” Your moms eyes go wide and reach for the papers, which causes the papers to fall.
In distaste, your mom says, “Look what you did.”
You apologize and help pick them up and a familiar picture catches your eye. It was the Gallagher house, having been sold and marked with the day before.
You stand up and shout, “What is this?!”
Your father responds nonchalantly, “Don’t get all riled up…”
“Why the hell would you do this?”
“Not us. It’s just apart of the workload. We didn’t do it personally.”
“Yeah I’m sure. You hate Carl.”
“Yes, we don’t like that boy you hang out with. However, we didn’t go looking to do this. It’s just a bonus.” You shake your head at them and leave the house.
You are on the way to the Gallagher house when you see Carl sitting on a bench at the school track with Nick.
You go up to him and shove him before screaming, “Why didn’t you fucking tell me, bone head?”
Nick stands up, and Carl waves him off. Nick goes onto his bike and begins to ride the track. You shove Carl once more and wait for a response. He yells, “What are you on about women?!”
“Don’t fucking start, Carl!”
The threat calms him down as he lowers his voice and says, “What is it Y/N? Geez…”
“Uhmm…I don’t know. Your house being sold.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, Shit. Why didn’t you tell me?””
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Carl...It’s me.”
“You wouldn’t have this problem.”
“Ouch…However, fair.” He snickers. You put a hand on his shoulder and comment, “You can tell me anything Carl. I’m here for you whatever you need.”
“Well, really there isn't much to do. They outbid us last night…Even after Fiona getting a loan, and everyone else scraping up what they could.”
“I could’ve helped.”
“No. Fiona didn’t want my money. I doubt she’d want yours. She wouldn't’ have taken it.”
“But, still-”
Carl's phone rings. It was Debbie, and she was freaking out. You could hear it as she yelled, “I need you like fucking now!” Carl looks over to you and says, “The cops are taking our stuff out.” You stand up and tell him, “Well, let's go.” Carl waves Nick over, and you head over to the house.
You can’t believe the sight of the he cops just taking their things out the house and throwing them like nothing. Carl notices that you haven’t moved from your spot and asks, “You’re not coming?”
“I have to do something. Before i go-” You hug Carl close, which gave you the chance to grab at Carl's gun.
You weren’t sure you’d need it, but something instinctive told you to take it,
Getting home, your quick to find the paper from the morning, you call the new owners, as you get ready to print a new contract that you’ve seen your parents make time and time again.
“Hello, thank you for your latest purchase without us. I was just calling to see if we could finish some final things today.” As they agree, you continue to say, “Great. Where can we meet?...A cafe? Would you mind texting the address to this number? Okay. I’ll see you there.”
Having all you paperwork, you rush to your room clearing out your savings and grabbing your checkbook. Then, you head over towards the city.
The couple look at you surprised, and they say,
“I’m sorry I thought we were supposed to be-”
“Meeting my parents?”
“I’m sorry for all the confusion.” You present an envelope to the table. “You recently bought that house; Now, my friend is going to be homeless. I know this isn’t your problem. However, I can still make this even better. I’ve got about 300,000 its way more than the cost you paid for the house and with that you could probably buy a new house. I have this contract of you releasing the house and your money from the auction will be given back. You just have to sign.”
“I don't know about this.”
You put on your best Carl impression before showing the gun in your pants and say, “Your going to fucking sign before I pop you right here.” You were shaking on the inside at all of it. However, they were quick to sign and rush out of there with the money. You let out air before grabbing the papers and trying to rush back to Carl. This had to have worked.
The police stand in front of Fiona, Carl, and Debbie. You take your keys out the car and slam the door shut and shout, “Stop right there!”
They all look at you funny.
You pull up the papers and look to Fiona before saying, “Fiona, I need you to sign this!”
“What is it?”
“Trust me.”
Fiona does so, and you unconsciously shove the papers at the cop. The cop asks, “What's this?”
You respond, “An agreement from the buyers. They've changed their minds about the house.”
“That means nothing.”
“It does when they sign the house off to Fiona, who has the means to pay any debts on the house and buy it back in full with this check.” You hand it off to the guy. “Getting the bank off our backs.”
They all cheer before Fiona comments, “Please leave my property. I’ve got cleaning to do.”
With grim faces, the police leave
Fiona hugs and kisses you in the cheek. Carl pulls you in right after and asks, “How is this even possible?”
“A combo of my parents and you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. You.”
You pull out his gun and hand it back to him.
“Shit.” He said before laughing and hugging you again. “Hey, Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Forget your parents…You're one of us…Thank you.”
Full Masterlist
Shameless Masterlist
Hope your day got better
#carl gallagher one shot#carl gallagher x reader#carl gallagher imagine#carl gallagher#imagine#reader insert#x reader#shameless imagine#shameless masterlist#shamelessus
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Okay I think there's no way Bruce manages his own social media. He's Bruce Wayne™ so I think he most probably has a whole team of community managers. Now, the thing is Bruce lets them do their work freely. So, he finds himself in situations where he's genuinely clueless for once in his life.
---
Damian, reading his father's tweet out loud : "Happy birthday to my son, my sunshine, the best of them all : Tim Drake.", What. Do. You. Mean. "best of them all", Father ?!
Bruce : huh ?
---
Clark : You know, the fact that you identify as a... *reads his screen* Uhm, dilf - whatever that means - doesn't change anything for me.
Bruce : huh ?
Clark shows him the tweet that goes "Be kind, fam, I'm coming out : I'm officially a DILF"
(editor's note : i know Clark probably knows what a dilf is but I think it's hilarious to portray those two as clueless old men.)
---
Journalist : Mister Wayne ! After the recent fire at the Anti-abortion rally, you've tweeted, and I quote : "Lit 🔥". What does it mean ?
Bruce, a gen X : Well... I think I just wanted to describe the... Uh, fire. It did lit up the place, didn't it ?
---
Jason, on his phone : What ?!
Bruce : What is it ?
Jason : You're DMing fucking Kim Kardashian ??
Bruce : huh ?
Jason : She tweeted "just signed the divorce papers and Bruce Wayne already slid in my DMs. I don't make the rules 🤷♀️"
---
At a talk show.
Host : So, Bruce, you've recently created controversy by posting this.
Appears a tweet on the screen that reads : "Eat the rich ? More like eat out the rich, plz 😔👉����"
Host : What do you think ?
Bruce, clears his throat : You see... What even is the internet ? Hah.
---
Oliver, on the phone : Bruce ! Why the hell did you come at me like that ?
Bruce : huh ?
Oliver, lounging on his bed : "Just saw Ollie try to flirt at this party I'm in rn. Big yikes." Tweeted 10 minutes ago. What party, you asshole ?!
Bruce : ...
---
Clark : What does... yiyik (?) mean ?
Bruce : huh ?
Clark : You tweeted "Superman's clavicles. Iykyk"
Bruce : *shrugs* I have no idea.
---
Tim : Uh, hey, Bruce...
Bruce : Yes ?
Tim : Say, why would you agree to a boxing match against Logan Paul ?
Bruce : huh, who ?
---
Steph : Why would you want to have beef with Rihanna ?
Bruce: huh ?
Steph, shows him his tweet that reads "Tested Fenty's new line... Let me tell you, I'd rather put garbage on my face. And I fuckin' love my face."
#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#clark kent#superman#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#tim drake#red robin#stephanie brown#spoiler#oliver queen#green arrow#batfam#batfamily#incorrect quotes#superbat#my post
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I think a cute fic would be Alfred reading Punchline to sleep after a nightmare.
-📝
Also, LOVE EVERYTHING YOU E DONE :}
You got it! And thank you!!
Punchline - Scattered Nighttime
⚠️ Content warning: Nightmares, the Joker abuses his daughter, description of injuries ⚠️
Masterlist is Here!
There's something very strange about seeing the reason why you can't move your hand properly, despite not feeling it.
Popsy's laughing. You've pleased him, you've entertained him, and the only price you had to pay was your hand getting smashed by a pipe. It looks like a black and blue pancake, the palm flatter than normal and several fingers badly misshapen.
You turn your hand over, admiring the front and back, and try to flex the fingers. They twitch and bend at an angle that isn't normally possible. There's an odd pressure between the joints you instinctively understand is wrong. You wonder if you have enough ribbon to tie the digits back into the correct shape so that they heal into something usable again.
"What, you don't think that's funny?" Your father asks, something thin and dangerous in his tone. You immediately snap your gaze to his and the smile on your face stretches wider. "Why don't I give you something to giggle about, then!"
You see him gear up to swing the pipe at your head. An old, long-buried instinct screams at you to duck. You stand still and compliant for your Popsy, because that's what good and entertaining toys do. They always do what they're told, or they get broken and discarded.
You briefly wonder why you're still being broken if you're the favorite.
The sound of metal crashing into your ear jolts you awake, and you find yourself looking at plain, beige walls.
Your hand flies to your head, fingers brushing along the shell of your ear. You feel the sensation of touch, but hear nothing. Almost total hearing loss on the side of impact. You look at your right hand, at the small crook in your middle and ring fingers you didn't manage to completely set right as they were healing. Usable, but forever altered. The digits crack every time you flex it into a fist. Pop. Pop. Pop.
You take stock of the rest of your body while your breathing slows back to normal. Two arms. Two legs. Ten fingers. Ten toes. No new cuts. No new breaks. Some new bruises, but aside from being colorful little polka dots in your skin, you ignore them.
You're fine. But you can feel your heart hammering in your ribcage, and the ever-present tremor in your limbs has worsened after waking up. The itch of inactivity is making itself known under your skin. You don't look at the camera in the corner of your cell, but you still feel that instinct to perform, to please, to entertain.
But these people don't think you're funny. Not like Popsy. They don't get your jokes. They don't play your games. They don't tell you what they want from you, so you do nothing for as long as you can, until the boredom and the itch settles in and becomes unbearable.
Right now it's unbearable.
You get up off the floor and wander to the door, pressing your fingers into the seam between it and the wall. If you apply enough pressure, the sensor inside thinks it's got something stuck in the doorway, and it pops open. A hilarious safety measure you exploit whenever the boredom rears its head.
Wing-a-ding is watching you tonight. Or, he would be, if his attention wasn't on a case file he's got open in his lap instead of your camera feed. You could scare him for a laugh, but the way he looks at you isn't fun, so you leave him be. It's child's play to slip past him, inattentive and unaware at the bat computer, and climb the first set of stairs you find.
You creep through the grandfather clock and step into Wayne manor, casting your gaze about the brand new space with wide, curious eyes. So many breakable things! So many fancy things, too. Fancy chairs, fancy desks, fancy mirrors, fancy carpet, fancy stairs...Batsy is richy-richy-rich!
The house is large and easy to get lost in. Larger than any other building you've ever been in. It smells nicer, too. You step into the hall and pick a random direction to go, footfalls light and airy. It's a nice distraction from your dream, and the palpitations aren't as harsh the more you walk.
You find a sitting room. The chairs are big, but kinda stiff, so you don't sit long and keep going.
Another sitting room. This one has a loveseat that's bouncy. You jump up and down on it until the wheezy, light feeling you get from the broken ribs forces you to stop. You accidentally tip a vase over as you climb down, and it lies cracked on the floor, but no one comes to hurt you, so you ignore it.
You have to lie down for a couple minutes to catch your breath before you can continue, but eventually you're up and off again.
There's a big book room. You wander between the shelves and trail your fingers along the spines, eyeing the colors and symbols detailed on each one that stands out to you. You pick one and pluck it out of the shelf, thumbing through the pages as though you had any chance of deciphering the messages printed on them. You wonder what story lies inside it with a curious quirk of your lips.
You think of calm, even tones and a quiet voice, reading a tale about an angry little girl who has to adjust to a whole new way of living now that her parents are gone. You wonder if...
The book falls from your fingers. It's more amusing to leave it on the floor than put it back where it belongs, so you knock a couple more down to join it before you leave the big book room with a snicker.
You've just stumbled upon the kitchen when someone clears their throat behind you.
Grinning, you twirl around and clasp your hands behind your back, finding yourself looking up at Alfred.
"Lady Punchline," he greets you. He's wearing pajamas, so you must have awoken him while exploring. He doesn't look upset. "Can I get you anything?"
You get asked that a lot. You don't know what the right answer is. You don't know how to play their games yet. You just smile and click your feet together. The noise is soothing.
Click. Click. Click.
"It's quite late," Alfred continues, "or early, depending on your opinion. Why don't I get you settled into a bed and we can read another chapter of The Secret Garden together?"
He holds out a hand for you to take. You wait for it to curl into a fist, wait for it to dart forward and strike you somewhere, but it doesn't.
Alfred continues to stand there with you, waiting quietly. You look at his hand for a long time, staring at every weathered groove and line. You notice the uniformity of his fingers, the callouses borne of hard work, the lack of scarring.
You brush your right hand against his palm, comparing the shapes against your own. He's very warm to the touch.
Click. Click. Click.
"Lady Punchline," he speaks up. "I will take you to my quarters for the night. If that isn't acceptable to you, all you need to do is remove your hand from mine, and we can go somewhere else."
A command. No...a direction. A plan. You just have to follow his plan. That's fine. You are Popsy's obedient little toy, and you're very good at it. You can follow Popsy's plans. You can comply with others, too.
You thread your crooked fingers in his pretty ones. He gives you a single nod and a featherlight squeeze, then leads you through the halls of the large house.
You walk for a while together. You have to stop twice when the wheezing gets bad and the world starts to tip around like a rollercoaster, but Alfred just keeps his gentle hold of your hand and guides you along when you're ready.
Soon enough, you're ushered into a large bedroom and tucked into a bed that could easily fit ten of you. It's both soft and firm, supporting your back and easing the pressure in your ribs and warming you in a way you're not used to. You stare at the ceiling and feel your heart beating heavily against your chest while Alfred grabs his book and sits in the armchair a couple feet away.
"The last we left off was chapter six. I shall start from there," he says.
You let his voice wash over you and drown out all other sensations. Your racing heart slows down. The trembling in your limbs lessens. Popsy's voice echoing around in your mind quiets, until all you can hear is Alfred's soft, steady cadence and all you can think about is Mistress Mary, learning how to be a child.
Your eyes slip closed and you're out before he's halfway through the chapter.
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What they're like
+ Kafka, Reno, Iharu, Haruichi, Aoi, Hoshina, Gen
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Kafka;
What a fucking himbo
Is so incredibly dedicated to his dream it's so admirable but can be a yapper about it - mostly to do with Kaiju anatomy, his yap sessions end with everyone scrambling to take notes.
Isn't aware of how much people respect and care for him.
Sometimes can be a little overbearing, he DOES NOT have an inside voice. Reno and you often keeps him in check but he insists he's not talking loud.
Tells the DUMBEST jokes: "What two words, when combined, hold the most letters?" Then he'd piss himself telling everyone it's "post office"
Is unaware of his improving strength and tends to expect things to be heavier than they are and ends up launching things across a room.
Sometimes gets withdrawals from quitting cigarettes, especially after a stressful day and can get kinda irritable, but being around you and his friends helps curb the cravings.
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Reno;
Opinionated, always willing to give out advice but doesn't often give it without being asked.
Loves doing things for people. Will go out of his way get people stuff if they need it but also knows how to put himself first.
Often quiet in social situations, more of a people watcher than pleaser
Very focused of improving, you can often find him in the training room or library when he has free time
Pushes people to do their best.
Is so down to help people if they ask him no matter what it is.
Once he's started something he'll see it through no matter what.
He's stubborn to a fault
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Iharu;
Hot headed but level headed
Easy to talk to, but often only talks about work - kinda to be expected.
Lightens up every room he's in
Doesn't like to see his comrades down in the dumps so will try his hardest to put a smile on their faces
The hypeman of all hypemen
Smart asf, doesn't need help studying but is so down for group study sessions
Can be quite envious of others constantly improving, sometimes you'll find him staring off Into space thinking about improving, lost in deep thought - often he won't even notice you till you shake him out of it, he will shout at you for "not announcing" yourself.
Can be quite flirty on and off the field but mostly when his adrenaline is pumping. Back and forth banter and teasing insults do something to him.
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Haruichi;
Rich boy with really good manners
Cares about his comrades and treats them to meals when they all have the time
Has a skincare and haircare routine
Sleeps with a silk pillow
Absolutely loves having little rivalries with people, it pushes him to be a better fighter.
Completely dedicated to the force but the reservations about his family and the company he'll inherit one day sometimes hold him back from giving his all.
Takes mental notes on how the suits could be improved while he's fighting.
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Aoi;
Built like a brick.
Abs like a washboard.
As dense as his body is, he's very agile and quick to move.
Heaviest footsteps known to man
He absolutely loves his peace and quiet, though he's used to having to share his space and time.
Is big on respect but it's something he believes should be earned and not given.
Being ex-military, he's BIG on routines. Doesn't realise he even has one but you've noticed his little patterns.
Light sleeper, but quick to fall asleep. Once his head hits the pillow he is OUT.
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Hoshina;
Is terrifying when he's serious and knows it. He loves pretending to be serious to scare people, he finds their reactions hilarious.
Finds everything funny. Will laugh just to fill silence.
Always smiling, its almost uncanny.
Loves his comrades but isn't one to admit that.
Sometimes he'll go quiet in social situations and just watch everyone messing around, those little moments are his favourite and he treasures them.
Will linger over peoples shoulders when they're studying then make disappointed faces at their work, known nothing they wrote is wrong, he just finds it funny that he made them paranoid.
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Narumi;
Will only give you the time of day if you're good. If you're average or below when it comes to combat, he will not even know your name.
Egotistical beyond comprehension.
Cocky and sarcastic, gets away with talking back because he's the strongest.
Adores back and forth teasing. If you can match him in combat he expects you to match him in wit too.
Finds comfort in his own mess, reminds him he's still alive (he's just lazy)
Likes making little nooks/nests out of pillows to sleep/game in. Also a big fan of pillow forts.
#kaiju no. 8#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8#kn8 x reader#kafka hibino x reader#reno ichikawa x reader#iharu furuhashi x reader#haruichi izumo x reader#aoi kaguragi x reader#hoshina soushirou x reader#gen narumi x reader#kafka hibino#reno ichikawa#iharu furuhashi#haruichi izumo#aoi kaguragi#hoshina soushirou#gen narumi
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So if Conner is the baby daddy does that mean Lex Luthor is the grandfather too considering Conner is a clone of him and superman? Cause wow the family reunion is gonna be wild. But it would be even more hilarious if Lex figured out everything first and just started paying for all of readers appointments and started sending gifts.
Lex really becomes like a secret sugar daddy cause Conner doesn't realize he got his one night stand pregnant.
Wait no what if Bruce starts thinking Lex is the baby daddy cause of all the gifts. He's gonna have a full blown stroke thinking his innocent baby ended up with Lex Luthor. 😂😂😂
Then after some confrontation Lex is like no my irresponsible clone son got your daughter pregnant not me!
Bruce then is relived (kinda) but now Tim just can't believe Conner knocked up his sister.
Conner hears about this from Tim (sad Conner figures it out last) and is like 😦 then is like welp guess I'm a dad now 💯 ready to be a father. Time to take reader and the baby to live on a farm away from her neglectful family.
If this happen, the sheer relief Bruce will have from the Daddy not being Lex will make Conner seem like the absolute best option out of all the canidates.
Also, bet Lex wouldn't even tell Bruce it was Conner. He's probably play it up as some psychological trick to mess with Bruce. Oh, you think I'm the father. I most certainly am not, but clearly you're a failure as one to not even notice your own child is *exact number of days* pregnant with *baby's gender*.
Lex would mostly be doing this to get a head start on Superman though. Gonna out grandpa him before he even realizes it. (But, in a completely crack way this creates and unholy alliance between Lex and Lois.)
Also, that baby will have THREE grandpas! Two of them being rich AF. Kids gonna have a damn pony. Maybe even a damn dinosaur.
I like the idea of Conner finding out last, though. That sounds fun. I also think he's make a great dad. Like he'd be panicking, but he'd be just so excited to be a dad. He wouldn't whisk Reader away to a farm right away though. He'd wait until the baby pops out and then he goes nuts.
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