#he said he likes fernando the most though haha
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My dad is reading Seb's Wikipedia page now 😭😭 I think I got him guys 😭
#he'll ask me random questions like:#'is he self made(i.e. are his parents rich)' 'whos he married to' etc#and i tell him and hes like 'ah very good :)' so i think i have made him fall in love#so hilarious to me that ive gotten him into my two old men#HE LOVES THEM OKAY!!!!!!#i got my shirt and he was reading up on all the info#but the fact that hes now reading the wikipedia. my god. i really got him 😭#tho ive shown him some radios from seb before and i think he liked him since then#he chuckles at how much i love seb but seriously no one is immune#he said he likes fernando the most though haha#im just like: okay but how do i sit him down and regale seb's entire career LOL#how do i impart upon him all this knowledge without sounding like a maniac#catie.rambling.txt
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Azerbaijan 2018
-Haha why does every race I’ve watched recently have a safety car in the first lap
-I thought the Force Indias collided into each other but it was Kimi who collided into Ocon!
-Somehow Kimi is still in the race, but a Williams is out
-Alonso catching a puncher as well
-This is turning out to be just as exciting as Azerbaijan 2017
-Oh that was a double puncher
-“Esteban Ocon out for only the second time in his f1 career”
-Ah Fernando is out too
-Honestly being a marshal must be so stressful
-“Last year Hamilton was ahead of Vettel, this year everything is role reversed” Last year was actually insane
-“Sebastian Vettel is going to have to defend from an absolute army behind him”
-“Brilliant move from Verstappen! Great respect from Ricciardo!”
-“And now Sainz has managed to move past Verstappen” I was hoping to see these two race against each other
-Gasly, Hulkenburg and Leclerc all in the points 👏👏
-Stroll too!
-Aaah Carlos getting past Max!!
-Oh he’s got it back!!
-Aaaah this is great!!
-“Renault power vs Renault power” “These two obviously teammates, have got their history”
-Ohmygod Carlos again!!
-Max defending like crazy
-Nico getting past Pierre! The Renault are having a great race so far!
-The lineup now from p4 being Red Bull, Renault, Red Bull, Renault
-Aaaaah Nico almost getting past Daniel, Carlos definitely getting past Max!!
-Ohmygod Nico did get past Daniel
-The lineup now being Renault, Red Bull, Renault, Red Bull
-Ohmygod Nico’s gone past Max!!
-This is the most fun I’ve had in a while!!
-I’ve just had a horrible feeling that something might happen to either Red Bull or Renault because they’re both having too good a race
-Oh bloody hell Nico’s out. Let me quickly go jump off a cliff
-And the two Red Bull’s touching? I’m afraid I’ve spoken bad energy out into the world
-Car 16 coming up behind the Red Bulls now
-Car 7 coming behind Car 16
-And Carlos is P13 now
-And Kimi has gotten past Charles
-Although “Leclerc is driving a super race here”
-Max right behind Lewis now
-The gap between the top three is like 10-20s and then every other car is one second away from each other, and then the gap increases back to 10s around p10
-“We don’t often mention a Sauber overtaking Fernando Alonso” but it’s Charles, so 🤷🏻♀️
-Oh the Bulls are fighting
-Trading fastest laps
-Daniel getting past Max and setting the fastest lap at the same time, impressive
-Ooh that was a quick pit stop
-Ohmygod Max overcut Daniel. How did that happen??
-“My mate you’re gonna have to do him again” lol
-Aaah they’ve crasheddd. I think it was Daniel’s fault this time? I’m not sure
-✨Safety Car✨
-That horrible feeling I had earlier wasn’t just for Nico’s Renault then
-Is Valterri about to win this race?
-Every time there’s drama between the Red Bull teammates, they always bring up Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber, such is their legacy
-Also, I had to look up what the stewards said about that incident and apparently they just ruled it as a racing incident. There were some comments saying that it was the team’s fault though, for not implementing team orders 🤷🏻♀️
-Oh no there was a crash under the SC
-“No! No!” Ah that’s devastating
-Honestly hope nothing happens to Carlos at this point
-There are only four cars out of the points right now, because six cars are out of the race
-Holy shit this went from a Ferrari win to a Mercedes 1-2
-That was such an unfortunate move from Sebastian
-Puncher for Valterri!! This race is throwing plot twist after plot twist, I don’t think I could’ve predicted any of what has happened!
-Ohmygod he’s p14, that’s sucks so bad
-Checo’s in p3??!
-Am I about to see Charles overtake Sebastian too now?
-I’m sorry why are the graphics showing Charles p13?! Ohmygod that glitch was uncalled for
-Oh I forgot about Checo’s pending penalty, ayyayyayyy
-Ah Valterri has retired the car
-Oh nvm, he did serve the penalty! He is getting the podium!!
-Carlos passing Charles now
-Now there are only three cars running that are out of the points
-I was so not expecting a Lewis win here!! Crazy!!
-And a Kimi p2 and Checo p3?!?
-Oh this was Charles first points finish?! Hartley’s too?
-The Force India garage are going crazy
-“Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! *****! Sorry, sorry for the bad word!” 😭😭
-“I think today I did the best two laps of my whole career” It’s been so long since I’ve seen a happy Checo, someone kill me
#formula 1#f1#formula one#azerbaijan grand prix#Azerbaijan 2018#lewis hamilton#kimi raikkonen#checo perez#sebastian vettel#carlos sainz#charles lecrelc#fernando alonso#lance stroll#stoffel vandoorne#brendon hartley#marcus ericsson#pierre gasly#kevin magnussen#valterri bottas#romain grosjean#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#nico hulkenberg#esteban ocon#sergey sirotkin
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August’s Review...
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Hey everyone, sorry for not be active as per usual ehe. I’ve been juggling junior year for only a few weeks now and I absolutely can’t stand it haha
The Fountainhead: Rand, Ayn
I liked the book, but didn't like the person behind it. Now, I don't hate a lot of authors in particular, but Ayn Rand was just so wrong on so many levels? She was extremely critical of any philosophy that collided with her's/just didn't like, and that's not exactly the best approach for a scholar to have-
You have the non-conforming architect Howard Roark and he's up against the entire world and their idea of the standard/ideal building; it's drama-filled with Roark fighting tooth and nail against his enemies and his lover/future wife, Dominique.
About Dominique, she reminds me a lot of Nastasya Fillipovna from The Idiot. She can be so loving, but so manipulative and drive dozens of men to their demise (and we love her for that). I felt like she was more of a plot device than an actual three-dimensional character, which makes me very sad. I did feel that her marriage to Roark in the ending was a little disappointing, because I felt like it was expected to happen.
If I had to choose who was my "favorite", I think I would say it was Roark, only because his problems were so similar to mine, other than that, most of the characters didn't stand out to me that much. If you want drama and struggle, I would recommend it.
I did like Rand's writing style though, everything else was debatable.
Love in the Time of Cholera: Marquez Garcia, Gabriel
One of my new personal faves! I love Fermina and she did not deserve her in-laws. I feel like it was surprisingly realistic as to how it portrayed married life between Urbino and Fermina, with happy and unhappy years, but I believe that Fermina was definitely a prisoner in a house that her husband was not. I don't know about everyone else, but one of my worst fears was marrying into the wrong household (if you know, you know) and here I was, watching Fermina live my worst nightmare.
Florentino and Urbino… Are not exactly the greatest characters haha. Florentino had had countless affairs over the years but never told Fermina about them and practically said that despite all these affairs, his heart had belonged to Fermina Daza (someone died because of him!!!!) Urbino also admitted to having an affair with a woman (and even let her death haunt him???), but he was a nice husband, like all the rest.
I found Urbino's death be ironic because it wasn't the cholera he faced on a daily basis that killed him, but falling from a ladder, but at least it allowed for plot development; it had let Florentino finally make his appearance in over 50 years, coming to declare his love for Fermina once more.
It's a love story, but it's also a documentation on the realities of human life/marriage in a matter that doesn't shy away from all the nitty-gritty, unpretty details that follow along with life.
Three Short Japanese Short Stories
If you've been here with me for sometime, you know that I love, love, LOVE Japanese literature. I love Mishima, Dazai, Kawabata, and a truckton of others haha. So the book itself is super thin and tiny, so it's great if you don't know where to start with Japanese literature. You'll get three stories from Nagai, , and Akutagawa, all unique in their own way, and so you get a wholesome mix of everything, from an epistolary story to a history lesson!
The stories themselves are super simple, so I won't go into too much detail about them.
The Book of Disquiet: Pessoa, Fernando
Amazing, show-stopping, 10/10 would recommend
This book is for all of you No Longer Human fans out there, it’s a diary-like novel about a book keeper and his view on life, and surprising it is very, very real. I don’t want to give away most of the story, but I can just say that Fernando Pessoa is a genius, there are so many hard hitting quotes in the book that really get you thinking. I was hooked from the first line, if you want to read it, check this out here!
It is so well pieced together for a novel that is meant to be in disarray and Pessoa is an amazing writer, I would love to read more of his works.
The Plague: Camus Albert
A deadly plague, a town of people, who will win?
Turns out, nobody and everybody. The ending was a bit of a flat-line for me, but other than that, the story of the plague in Oran is neatly put together mixed in with Camus’ philosophy. I’m still not over Dr. Rieux’s wife dying, I don’t know why but that really got to me.
I don’t really like Camus, but I’m trying my best to like him
#reading#classics#literature#french literature#Albert camus#the book of disquiet#fernando pessoa#books#Japanese literature#love in the time of cholera#Gabriel García Márquez#the fountainhead#ayn rand#philosophy
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history is such a rabbit hole, like for completely unimportant reasons I was looking at infantas of Portugal and got hooked right away on Teresa, first king Afonso Henriques’ second daughter (and his faaaaaaaaaaavourite and i can totally see why)
so when Afonso got injured in 1169 (haha nice), his son Sancho took over the regency, and in 1172 Afonso considered a succession via the female line with Teresa in case Sancho didn’t have kids. Then in 1173 both Sancho and Teresa became co-regents AND co-heirs. In practical terms Teresa looked after the administration of the kingdom while Sancho handled the military side of things
Teresa’s older sister Urraca married the king of León, but because Teresa was so close to the throne, her marriage with an Iberian noble was out of the question in order to protect the kingdom’s independence (Portugal was literally less than 40 years old at this point)
enter the proposal from Philip I, Count of Flanders! She was like 32/33 by this point and even though it wasn’t an Iberian lord, she still had to agree that Sancho would be the sole heir before she married. Once that was out of the way she sailed up to Flanders and apparently got attacked by pirates who took a lot of the dowry she had, yet still had enough that people marvelled at it and it financed Philip’s war against France for a few more years (when I tell you Afonso Henriques amassed a huge treasure during his reign... he was a very lucrative hostage as his son-in-law Ferdinand II of León found out)
Anyway no kids were born (also for some reason she was known as Mathilde over there) and Philip died in some crusade, so the county actually fell to his sister Margaret and her husband Baldwin, but Teresa was like yeah but what if....I keep it? Anyway in the end they reached a deal and the sister and husband got it but Teresa still had influence over it bc she had a bunch of dower lands in the south
and also a bunch of portuguese people had gone with her to flanders, most of them merchants which is not new BUT i didn’t know the commercial link went back to the 12th century, ya know, so that’s cool
also cool is that her brother Sancho had a policy of populating remote areas of Portugal (his kingly nickname was “The Populator” due to this and also the number of kids he had) and guess where most of the people who settled those lands came from? that’s right, Flanders and Burgundy
anyway Teresa married Odo III the duke of burgundy (it all comes full circle) but no kids again so the marriage was dissolved. it’s also said part of the reason for the dissolution was that Teresa sided with Ingeborg, who was Philip II of France’s wife, while her husband sided with Philip.
anyway it may have been due to this that Ingeborg introduced Berengária, Teresa’s niece and Sancho’s daughter, to her brother Valdemar of Denmark. Also Teresa’s nephew Fernando, who had travelled with his sister Berengária, married Joan (the granddaughter of Margaret and Baldwin) and became count of Flanders but spent most of that time as a french prisoner and that’s cool. a cool start
anyway teresa drowned, which isn’t nice, but her life sure was interesting and makes for quite the incoherent post
#lunie blabbers#just me rambling over history#tell me how i'm supposed to make a coherent post when everything is connected#and this is just after reading about one (ONE!) princess#that flanders connection though
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Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#180-171)
#180: Fernando Tordo -- Tourada (Portugal 1973)
“Entram guizos, chocas e capotes, E mantilhas pretas, Entram espadas, chifres e derrotes, E alguns poetas, Entram bravos, cravos e dichotes, Porque tudo mais são tretas,”
“Bells, cowbells and capes are coming in, And black mantillas Swords, big horns and defeats are coming in And some poets Brave people, carnations and swear words are coming in Because it's a wheeze at most”
Despite the title ("tourada" translates to bullfight in Portuguese), it's actually a portrait of a revolution in the making. The lyrics were so clever that the censors at the RTP didn’t notice these lyrics were reflecting the current regime.
That’s enough for a 250 appearance for me, but there’s more that makes the song so memorable.
The build with the brass and percussion sets the stage for something important to happen. Sometimes, I do forget I like this song, but listening to it like right now is an experience, like one entering the battlefield.
The last line, "And the intelligent man says that songs are over..." still amuses me, though it's quite cynical in that the intellectuals would eventually not believe in the movement.
Personal ranking: 5th/17 Actual ranking: 10th/17 in Luxembourg
#179: France Gall -- Poupée de cire, poupée de son (Luxembourg 1965)
“Suis-je meilleure, suis-je pire qu’une poupée de salon? Je vois la vie en rose bonbon Poupée de cire, poupée de son”
“Am I better, am I worse than a fashion doll? I see life through bright rosy-tinted glasses Wax doll, sawdust doll”
One of the game-changing songs of Eurovision, in that the general mood shifts from slow-tempo songs to a little bit of pop. The first ten contests had their share of good songs, but seem to blur into each other at points. Afterwards, the song quality rose, and they were better suited to the times.
Beyond the happy orchestral sound is something quite sad—a pretty girl who sings songs without experiencing what they mean. Gainsbourg was quite the songwriter, but it led to a falling out between him and France later on, because of the double meanings of the songs he wrote for her.
The drama related to France Gall and the contest didn't stop there. Kathy Kirby, the runner-up that year, slapped France when she won. Then her boyfriend broke up with her shortly after, and wrote a song that would be the basis of "My Way".
Quite interesting I must say, though I don’t come back to this song often.
Personal and actual ranking: 1st/18 in Naples
#178: Ajda Pekkan -- Petr'oil (Turkey 1980)
"Öyle gururlusun gidemem yanına Girmişsin kim bilir kaç aşığın kanına Dolardan, marktan başka laf çıkmaz dilinden Neler, neler çekiyorum senin elinden"
"You are so proud, I can’t come close to you I wonder who else suffers from your love You speak of nothing but dollars and marks I am so suffering because of you"
My 1980 winner is not only quite groovy and seductive, but also clever.
The 1970s had two major oil crises--one in 1973, and another in 1979. The first one was when OPEC withheld their oil from countries who supported Israel during the Yom Kippur, and the second one when oil production stopped during the Iranian Revolution, resulting in higher prices per barrel. Both resulted in low supply and increased gas prices in the United States; those who grew up during the era were less likely to drive as a result.
Petr'oil takes this issue and anthromorphizes it, as Ajda sings about the troubles of relying oil as a resource and as a partner. The belly-dance music also emphasizes the tension. combined with the percussion and strings on this piece.
While Ajda has since distanced herself from the song, I embrace it in all its charms. Plus it was heavily underrated in its year.
Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 15th/19 in Den Haag
Final Impressions on 1980: This year stands out a bit, for it had a number of songs dealing with a huge number of topics (including Belgium's "Euro-Vision", which made the contest go meta, haha). Alongside it, the production was a bit bare-bones, because of the Netherlands hosting it four years earlier, but it featured quirks such as a representative announcing their country's song, Morocco competing for the only time, and a steel band for the interval!
#177: The Allisons -- Are you sure? (United Kingdom 1961)
“Are you sure you won’t be sorry? Comes tomorrow, you won’t want me Back again to hold you tightly?”
The lyrics are quite smug, in that the Allisons warn the girl who plans to break up with them she might be sorry and alone. Not unlike with "If I Were Sorry", though there's a bit more charm and teasing towards their soon-to-be ex-, whereas the latter feels a bit more arrogant.
That said, it’s upbeat and almost lines up to the musical scene at the time (comparisons to Buddy Holly are not uncommon), and the musical run time just goes by so quickly (in comparison to other entries of the same era)! It's just a breeze.
Personal ranking: 1st/16 Actual ranking: 2nd/16 in Cannes
#176: Vicky Leandros: L'amour est bleu (Luxembourg 1967)
“Bleu, bleu, l'amour est bleu, Berce mon cœur, mon cœur amoureux, Bleu, bleu, l'amour est bleu, Bleu comme le ciel qui joue dans tes yeux.”
“Blue, blue, love is blue, Cradle my heart, my loving heart Blue, blue, love is blue Blue like the sky which play in your eyes."”
I think I first heard this in the intro to Eurovision 2006's semi-final. While the harp motif stood out, I didn't know where it came from. It was until when I watched the contest this song was in, which is strange because it was notable for having a Paul Mauriat cover which became a hit.
One of many classics which featured in 1960s contests, I like the innocence shown through the lyrics, which uses color and imagery to tell about the different cycles of love. The orchestration along the bridge was especially spectacular, as it provided a cinematic feel towards . Vicky’s accent sometimes gets in the way, but she sings this well and should’ve gotten a podium position.
Personal ranking: 2nd/17 Actual ranking: 4th/17 in Vienna
#175: Kaija -- Ullu joy Hullu yö (Finland 1991)
"En edes halunnut sua omistaa En edes leikisti rakastaa Kaksi kulkijaa yhteen osuttiin Yksi yhteinen hetki jaettiin"
"I didn’t even want to own you I didn’t even want to love you We two travellers came across each other Shared one common moment together"
While I was watching Eurovision 1991, I liked the mysterious verses of Hullu yo, but I found the chorus a bit off, because it was punchier and more energetic. It also had that "minor-verse/major chorus" thing going on, which also made me uneasy with the song. With a few listens, I grew to like a bit more, because of its unique sound. It definitely sounds better with the studio cut versus the live, which shows off the failures of RAI's orchestra.
Another thing about the song, beyond its lyrics about a one-night-stand turned into longing feelings, was the choice choreography. Playing out the turmoiled relationship, it's funny to see how provocative it is, and that's after Toto's hilarious pronunciation of the song.
Elements of the live performance aside, it's still a jam which deserved better. Maybe it would've done so in the televote era.
Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 20th/22 in Rome
#174: Francoise Hardy -- L'amour s'en va (Monaco 1963)
“Si ce n’est toi Ce sera moi qui m’en irai L’amour s’en va Et nous n’y pourrons rien changer"
"If it isn’t you It will be me who will go away Love goes away And we can’t change anything about that"
I was happily surprised hearing this for the first time. It was very melancholic, with an interesting structure between the verses and the chorus. The percussion also helps with the latter, and adds a bit of character to the song.
The fact Francoise wrote this classic gem also warmed me up more to the song, especially because she was from the ye-ye generation of singers (which are known for being young and upbeat). Yet she stands and sings her own composition in a serious, almost bored tone, without taking the substance of the song away
(That being said, I really need to listen to more of her songs; I've found a couple a month ago, though there's obviously more...)
Personal ranking: 2nd/16 Actual ranking: 5th/16 in London
#173: ABBA -- Waterloo (Sweden 1974)
“The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself...”
You don’t need me to tell about this, do you? It’s fun and timeless pop, with some cool costumes to boot.
For more interesting stuff for both, the song Waterloo was an actual risk for the contest--they actually had another song for consideration, the folk-influenced Hasta Manana, but turned to this instead. And it worked, of course!
For the clothes, ABBA apparently chose these glam-rock inspired costumes because in Sweden, one wouldn't have to pay additional fees if the costumes won't be used for normal wear. Both Anni-frid and Agnetha look great, nevertheless.
And as of the moment, my favorite ABBA song is "Knowing Me, Knowing You". Despite the poppy tone, it has a moody vibe throughout, and one knows the relationship is going to end on a bad note.
Personal ranking: 2nd/17 Actual ranking: 1st/17 in Brighton
#172: Gigliola Cinquetti -- Si (Italy 1974)
“Sì, dolcemente dissi sì, Per provare un'emozione, Che non ho avuto mai,”
“Yes, I softly said yes, To feel an emotion That I've never had before”
My friend told me an interesting story about the lyrics—whereas the song Gigliola won with tells of a girl waiting to grow older to find true love, Si talks of the girl growing up and taking the plunge. So she interprets Si as a sequel of sorts.
So why does this beat Waterloo, in my opinion?
I like how the song starts—quietly, but with an interesting guitar part. The instrumentation builds well towards the "Si...", at which it gently but certainly blooms towards Gigliola's certainty on going with the man she loves.
The interesting part of it was how the song was censored in Italy because it was seen as "subliminal messaging" for a campaign on a divorce referendum that May. "Si" sounds like an endorsement for the "no" campaign, as it embraces being in love, even if it requires the death of another relationship.
Personal ranking: 1st/17 Actual ranking: 2nd/17 in Brighton
Final Impressions on 1974: Definitely one of the most memorable years in the contest, if only for who won. The rest was a tale of two halves, with the first half being particularly good, and the other half bad (except for Si, as you can tell). And there were Wombles in the interval act, hehe.
#171: Eugent Bushpepa -- Mall (Albania 2018)
“Lot i patharë ndriçojë këtë natë Sonte kumbo prej shpirtit pa fjalë Vetëm një çast dhimbja të më ndalë”
“Lingering tear, light up this night Find your way out, to soothe my soul Just for one day make this pain subside”
Aren’t the lyrics to this so beautiful? They convey Eugent’s desire to be with his loved one so well, in both its pain and beauty.
The music really helps too--while the pre-vamped version was a whole minute longer, it also has a rockier edge to it. The revamped version cuts it down and cleans up the production, but it's still maintains the overall feel throughout.
Eugent is also a talented talented singer, which proved initial odds wrong and got Albania one of its best results! The bridge between the second verse and chorus has a great chord progression (which was given more space in the revamp), and he deserved qualification for that alone. And those high notes.
(Also, he's probably the best dressed guy of his year...good job Eugent, good job.)
Personal ranking: 7th/43 Actual ranking: 11th/26 GF in Lisbon
#eurovision song contest#esc 250#esc top 250#esc portugal#esc luxembourg#esc turkey#esc united kingdom#esc finland#esc monaco#esc sweden#esc italy#esc albania#vintage eurovision#three minutes to eternity
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My hetacast as Mamma Mia 2 characters
Older Donna - Ancient Rome
Well, Donna in this film is mostly a ghost figure, so who better resonates with her than the ghost of hetalia himself - Rome? All that aside, Yes, Rome is a ghost, but his legacy clearly lives on in the heta world - through his legacy in museums across the world (i.e. Wales, the USA) and does have an impact on his descendents (The Italies, Malta etc.). More importantly, he does care about each of his descendents and proudly watches over them, stepping in when times get tough. He is very proud of his grandchildren, and will always watch over them, all the way until they eventually pass away themselves.
Younger Donna - Ancient Egypt
There’s something about Ancient Egypt that captivates people. Whether it’s her beauty, her vibrant personality, her wild and carefree spirit or a combination of all three, no one knows, but she is definitely the protagonist of any story she is in. Not that she knows this haha. She also has a very set idea on where she wants to go, and once she has found her ‘home’, she will never leave it.
The thing that made me resonate Donna with her however, is how they both see their children. To her, her child means more than anything else in the world, and Egypt to her is her greatest treasure - To name a price on him would be unthinkable. And so it is her son, combined with her adaptable personality, that would push her on to keep trying, to keep being her - which in a land full of people who change at an instant, is remarkable.
Older Sam - France
Sam in the film has suffered a great loss. And I think the way he coped with said loss reminded me of France, who I see as someone who has also lost many past loves - not just Jeanne D’arc. He is someone who continues life after his loved one has passed, and makes it a point to think about the positives of the person and his ‘encounter’ with them rather than think about the grief he feels at their passing. He also would make it a point to step up for his deceased partners child/children, regardless of whether they were his child or not, because to him, this child has suffered a greater loss than he has, so why wouldn’t he be there when they need him most?
Younger Sam - Spain
Now one interesting thing about Spain is that I believe he is an avid believer in the concept of ‘love at first sight.’ And so if he sees someone and ‘falls in love with them,’ he will pursue them. Regardless of whether or not he is in an already existing relationship or not, as to him, all of that stuff becomes null and void when he meets ‘the one’ and will totally engage in nsfw stuff. He will attempt to set things straight by ending the prior engagement/divorce and go back to trying to pursue his ‘love,’ however if they have moved on, he would accept that and just hope that they are happy (That doesn’t stop him from checking in a few years later)
Older Rosie - Namibia
Nami has a very bubbly personality, often saying straight up what she is thinking - regardless of whether or not it makes any sense. She is similar to Ancient Egypt in a lot of aspects, however a key difference is that whilst AE unintentionally takes centre stage, Nami tends to take much more of a supportive role, something which she herself sees as a good thing, because why would she want to be restricted in a way that most main characters are?
That being said, she is very hesitant when it comes to relationships, even more so when it comes to reopening relationships. The only thing that would get her to change her mind tbh is someone showing her their vulnerability. That side - more specifically that human side, means an awful lot to her, and so will encourage her to allow herself to indulge in those more human emotions that she feels from time to time - Such as a crush, and maybe eventually, love?
Younger Rosie - Taiwan
Taiwan, like Nami, has a very bubbly personality. In fact the main area where the two differ in personality is that as she isn’t as old or experienced, Taiwan is not nearly as jaded when it comes to love as Nami is. And so, she will quite easily fall in ‘love’ with people (another avid believer of ‘true love’). She has a tendency to eat comfort food when that ‘relationship’ doesn’t work out whatsoever (often the person doesn’t know that she ‘loves’ them) but will move on relatively quickly.
Whilst she also is mostly content being a supportive friend, sometimes she can feel a bit of resentment and the fact that all of the ‘interesting’ stuff, such as romance and drama never really happens to her. She has never acted on this resentment though, as she has good impulse control (In the form of Vietnam) and if she ever did, she would probably regret it for a long time, if not for the rest of her life.
Older Tanya - Benin
Benin is a great supportive friend, once you get past her rather frosty exterior. She has a habit on falling back on sarcasm to get through a conversation, and so to people who don’t know her, they probably wouldn’t even know she was being sarcastic in the first place. A bit like Taiwan, she is rather tired of everyone around her except for herself finding love and establishing relationships, however unlike Taiwan, doesn’t need any impulse control and she is extremely good at hiding her frustration with this.
Younger Tanya - Vietnam
Another nation that uses sarcasm a lot, Vietnam instead tends to only use it in front of close friends rather than everyone. She is also very defensive of her loved ones, something of which they all very much enjoy. She is very good at acting as an impulse control, however if something happens to upset her, she will happily go to her comfort food to get calm again.
Older Bill - Tobago
Tobago has a great sense of humour and is not afraid to use it, with it often coming out in the randomest and the most awkward of times. He also has a tendency to come up with plans as he goes along, however as he is a very good actor, it never comes across as such a half baked idea.
That being said, he does not handle grief well. Tobago has a habit of growing attached to humans alongside nations, so when they inevitably die, he tends to be rather inconsolable after the first few years of their passing. He will start to make jokes soon after, however that person will always be remembered by him and their name alone is probably enough to make him start bawling.
Younger Bill - Denmark
Well, Bill is a sailor and scandanavian - so there was no way he wasn’t going to be a nordic. Denmark is loveable, charming and an all round nice guy to meet and he can put a smile to anyone’s face - regardless of what mood they were in beforehand. He is also a great person to be a friend with benefits with, as he won’t consider a ‘one time thing’ as long enough to fall in love with the other participant. That being said, he is also a caring person and will put aside what he wants to help out others.
Older Harry - Austria
Well, that scene at the end with younger Harry dancing around older Harry really made me realise who resonates with the man. Austria is rather ashamed of his past to be honest. Not because of the friendships he had then, because those came and went accordingly, but of how different he was back then to who he is now. He would never do half of the stuff he did back then, but it did happen, and so he is ashamed to admit that. That being said, he does deeply care about family, and so would put aside many things - no matter how advantageous they were to him, for family, and would ultimately be there for that family member, and always will.
Younger Harry - USA
Ahh the USA, the only country I could see thinking that he has fallen in love after sleeping with someone. He, like Spain and to an extent, Taiwan, also believes in love at first sight and so, would absolutely chase after who he believes tobe ‘the one.’ It won’t work out however, but not due to a lack of effort on his part.
Sky - Germany
Now, I feel like Germany is very conflicted of the issue of choosing the work or the home. Like if he were to get a job offer, like Sky in the film, I feel like his ecstasy over the idea would probably cause him to forget the fact that his partner is very attached to the place where they grew up, and in an argument, would probably again not get it. It would only be after the fight, that he realises and acknowledges the issue - and as someone who also has a ‘home’ that he would never leave, would come back - as family matters more than any job does - at least to him.
Sophie-- Mexico
Now Mexico is someone that I see as very hardworking, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they did have a hotel somewhere that they worked hard to restore and honour someone’s legacy. They are also someone that I feel would have the mindset that their ancestors live on through them - So they need to do their best to honour that ancestry. They are also someone who cares very strongly about their area and their homeland, so the thought of leaving their country is just preposterous to them. Mexico also has a habit of focusing on little tid bits about their ancestors - stuff that builds a picture of said ancestor in their mind. They do make their ancestors proud and continue to do so everyday.
Fernando - Egypt
Egypt is very good at giving compliments. However at the same time, he is not the type of person to just show his emotions, so I feel like he would have quite the pokerface. The only time this would be dropped is if he is feeling too much of an emotion - whether it be anger, happiness, shock etc. And if he were to bump into an old flame...then those feelings would definitely be on show, regardless of how much he tries to hide them.
Ruby - Britannia
I see Britannia as someone who is very hands off when it comes to raising children - similar to England in a way, and so, although she would realise her mistake partway through and try to amend it, her children and their friends’ opinions of her would not be very high.
Antonio - Argentina
I just feel like Argentina is the type of person to jump into the ocean to confess his love, regardless of the fact that he can’t swim.
Appolonia - Chile
....And Chile is the person that would join Arg...even though he can’t swim either.
Sofia - Eswatini
And finally, Sofia. Eswatini makes it a point to judge others based on how they treat the world around them - so if someone doesn’t mistreat an animal, they are bound to go up in their books, but if someone broke another’s heart, they would go down. They are also very helpful to those they like - once they have set their mind about someone, it is almost impossible for them to change it, and so a human would essentially be guaranteed their aid for life. Another thing the two characters have in common is that they both have had a child named after them, as a result of them aiding a young mother who was on her own during labour.
I really liked this! Please send me an ask for a different show/tv/musical/movie/game/comic/animé (Yall know the point haha)
#hetalia#Mamma mia#aph ancient rome#aph ancient egypt#aph france#aph spain#aph namibia#aph taiwan#aph benin#aph vietnam#aph tobago#aph denmark#aph austria#aph america#aph germany#aph mexico#aph egypt#aph britannia#aph argentina#aph chile#aph eswatini#aph#hws
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Dig a Little Deeper
Thanks for the tag @impractical-matters ❤️. Sorry I didn’t do it sooner, last week I went to the beach with my family and I didn’t pack the computer. To do this type of long tag games I need it 😅
1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? I use blue pen 90% of the times.
2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? City 100000000%. I can’t help it... the countryside and me do not get along well haha
3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? I would to know how to play an instrument. Guitar or piano.
4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Oh! I drink sugar with tea yes 😊. (Yep, I wrote it right 😂)
5. what was your favorite book as a child? Ohh I was never a big fan of reading, but I loved a book series called Lilli the Witch (in Spanish the girl’s name was Kika, I’ve just discovered that she had a different name in every country and I’m looking at my books with a sad and betrayed face haha. Why did you lie to me about your name Kika! Why!?)
6. do you prefer baths or showers? Oh I remember the moment my parents told me that I was old enough to take showers haha. I hated them! And now I don’t recall the last time I took a bath, I alway shower because it’s faster.
7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? I would like to be a witch, because I like the idea of being able to do magic.
8. paper or electronic books? I can do both. If it’s to study and memorise them I need them in paper though.
9. what is your favorite item of clothing? Dark blue jeans.
10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? I love my name. It’s my mom’s name and when I have a baby girl I would like to call her Mercedes too. It’s kinda a tradition in my family.
11. who is a mentor to you? Oh... well at the moment, I guess it would be my private tutor for the Judge exam. He is the one who controls that I study and who prepares me to pass the exam.
12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I do haha, I guess everyone does in some way. I would love to live the celebrity life, like a singer or an actress... but I don’t think I’m very talented for that so... 😂.
Maybe I would like to be “famous” when I become a judge because of one of my sentences. Like doing something meaningfull that could change something for the better because of it, I don’t know...
13. are you a restless sleeper? Yep haha I have trouble sleeping. I have always had.
14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? In a way... the problem is that I’m not very affectionate. I don’t usually do hugs and holding hands and stuff like that haha. So I guess I can look like a cold person from the outside, but deep inside I do want a love story that fills me, and someone to share my life with.
15. which element best represents you? Water. It can be cold or hot, calm or agressive. I don’t know I have always liked water more than the rest.
16. who do you want to be closer to? I guess my family, I’m very close to them, my family is my everything, they are the people I love the most in the world.
17. do you miss someone at the moment? I really don’t, I’m lucky to be able to talk or visit the people who mean the most to me.
18. tell us about an early childhood memory. I remember playing with my little brother in the living room. We have two big sofas and we used to take the cushions that they had and create a fort with them. Playing also the floor is lava and jumping form one sofa to the other.
19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? Cocodrile, Zebra and Kangaroo.
20. what are you most thankful for? My family.
21. do you like spicy food? Nop. I hate it haha
22. have you ever met someone famous? Well... I have met famous people in Spain, like some reality TV people and also Politicians and Judges from the Spainish Suprem Court.
I also when to a CD signing of Ashley Tisdale (I’m a big fan of High School Músical 😂), i managed to get a photo with her. And I do have a CD signed of Miley Cyrus and her father.
23. do you keep a diary or journal? No, I tried once but didn’t last a week.
24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? It depends. If it’s to take notes on the side of a book, it has to be pencil. If it’s to write in a paper, I use pen.
25. what is your star sign? Gemini
26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy!
27. what would you want your legacy to be? As I said in Q12, in the profesional department I would like to be recognised as a judge who helped make my country a little bit more fair.
I also want to be a mother someday, I would want my children to remember me fondly.
28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? As my life consist on memorising and readings laws all the time, I don’t really read novels, only fanfiction 😂🤷🏻♀️
29. how do you show someone you love them? I tell them or do things for them, try to help them in any way I can.
30. do you like ice in your drinks? Yesss
31. what are you afraid of? Spiders. Like... terrified.
32. what is your favorite scent? Vanilla
33. do you address older people by their name or surname? In Spain we use (or at least I do) the word “Usted”. In English the word “you”, can be translated in Spanish as “Tú” which is informal or “Usted” which is formal and commonly used to address older people.
We also use the word “Don” if it’s a male or “Doña” if it’s a woman, followed by the name (ex: Don Fernando) to adress people in a more formal way. I used to call my college teachers using the Don/Doña + Name formula 😂.
34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I would buy a big house. I would stop studying and create a law firm (I would still want to do something and help people with their legal issues)
But I would live the good life... hahah traveling, buying expensive things... 💁🏻♀️
35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? In pools. I’m not afraid of water but I can see that the ocean it’s more dangerous than a pool.
36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? It depends. If I know the person who lot then I would return it. If I don’t I would keep them haha
37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? I don’t think I have... ive seen rainbows... 🤷🏻♀️🌈
38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? I don’t know... I would tech them to be responsible and good people.
39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I don’t like tattoos for me, so it would be something very little in the feet haha
40. what can you hear now? The shower. My brother is in it and my room is near to it.
41. where do you feel the safest? In my house.
42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? I want to be a little bit less shy... like try and get out more and do more plans so si can meet new people.
43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? Umm. Ancient Rome, I have studied it a lot in School and in College (we study roman law because it’s the base from Spanish and many European countries’s law) and I have always been fascinated by it.
44. what is your most used emoji? 😊
45. describe yourself using one word. Honest
46. what do you regret the most? I don’t really regret anything to the point of being very sad that I didn’t do something. Maybe... not fighting to keep a friendship, but the other part didn’t fight either so...
47. last movie you saw? Ironman 2!
48. last tv show you watched? The Vampire Diaries.
49. invent a word and its meaning. Rebozeision - Action that consist of, while being in bed, covering with a blanket creating a burrito with you in it, and rolling from one side to the bed to the other. Usually done in the mornings, while trying to accept the fact that you have to get up.
I tag @sunel0 @msmischief101 @thiamislove18 (ignore it if you don’t want to or have already done it!) and whoever wants to do it! ✌🏻
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Thoughts on Season 3 of Fuller House (3B):
Thoughts on 3A here. So just binge-watched all 9 episodes of it today haha and here are my random thoughts:
I LOVE THE GIBBLER FAMILY I LOVE FERNANDO AND KIMMY!!!! I JUST NEEDED MORE AND MORE OF THOSE TWO TOGETHER THROUGHOUT THIS SEASON AND/OR MORE GIBBLER FAMILY MOMENTS IN GENERAL THEY’RE JUST SUCH A WARM, LOVING, AND ADORABLY PERFECT FAMILY WHEN THEY’RE TOGETHER AND SO FUNNY WHEN THEY TRY TO OUTSHINE EVERYONE ELSE I LOVE THEM HAHA
Seriously, Andrea Barber is such a great actress!! Like honestly, she should really win an Emmy for this show I am not kidding haha. She is soooo entertaining!! and wickedly talented at acting!!!!
DJ AND STEVE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! FINALLY!!!! I’VE WAITED SO LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! I’m not exactly 100% down on the whole DJ x Steve thing; I’ve said before that I think currently, the actor who plays Matt has more chemistry with DJ, but DJ x Steve was how it was SUPPOSED TO BE and I’m 2000% down for that. Also, idk how, but I think the Steve actor guy (Scott Weinger) somehow got cuter/more likable over the Season 3 break. He just seems to look a bit cuter and has more chemistry with DJ now lol (the kind he should have had at the beginning of Season 1).
The wedding fiasco... didn’t go down as ideally as I would have liked it to... it was the ultimate break-up — a wedding break-up — so it was, in a way, what you would have expected: really sad and harsh-letdowns all-around... idk how it could have turned out better (although there really is no excuse for how Steve and DJ treated their significant others ://). I am glad they didn’t drag out the whole DJ x Steve thing, though. And the Japanese-set episode was really fun!! Really enjoyed seeing all of the different, beautiful sights and experiences!! Wish we had gotten to see more of those :33 (The Japanese episode was definitely a bit shorter than I had expected.) Also loved how the episode was shot.
The appearance of the Japanese boy group Sexy Zone made me think of K-pop, and how much I love it, so I could relate. Sorry, guys, I just had to put that in there :PPP
KIMMY’S FASHION STYLE IS JUST SLAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! PROPS TO HER STYLIST IDK HOW THEY DO IT BUT SHE MAKES WACKY AND CRAZY LOOK SO AWESOME AND GOOOOD!!!!!
That alligator scene was top-notch. Great acting/balancing!
Seriously, as much as I love DJ and Steve, I will be so, so, so, so, so sad to see John Brotherton (the guy who plays Matt) go if he no longer gets a larger presence on the show. I have really, really appreciated the character Matt and have really enjoyed watching John’s performance.
Max, thankfully, is getting a little less annoying to handle on-screen (might have to do with his lack of scenes with the dog, which perhaps makes him less juvenile???). Also not exactly into his whole “I’m a smart guy”-type persona, but it’s not done terribly or maybe I’m getting used to it, so I can live with it. Idk, I just know I laughed more at and enjoyed his scenes more than I used to (he’s my least favorite character on the show, and probably still is).
Not really a fan of Max’s relationship with CJ’s girl, either (seems a bit forced), but whatever. If they want to make them that horrendously (I am not exaggerating when I use that word) cute couple, then more power to them.
Kinda sad/disappointed we didn’t get to see Popko for 3B, but he was a jerk, so it’s all okay. Ramona didn’t exactly get any love interests this time around, which is fine. And I really, really hope she doesn’t get with that high school dance-team guy, ugh. The dance-rival thing-y is cute enough, though, and I can see it being pulled off in the future.
I also don’t know why Ramona would skip out on SAFSPA: seemed like it was definitely her dream/goal as portrayed thus far, but okay, maybe it wasn’t. I thought the lesson we got out of that whole parent/kid situation was really good/nice.
Jackson and Rocki are a thing, and I AM LIVING FOR IT!!!!!! I’m just a sucker for nerdy guy/cool girl relationships, tbh :p :p
Still don’t like how Gia (a.k.a. Rocky’s mom) is sometimes cast as the “villain,” but oh well. I guess that discrepancy comes from us wanting post-Full House to be absolutely, 100% “feel-good,” but Gia was inherently written as a “bad” character, so she’s destined to be somewhat of the “bad” girl, no matter how far we get into the Fuller House world. At least she was written as less “evil” this time around.
ADORED Fernando and Tommy; ADORED Fernando, Tommy, and the race-car storyline; and ADORED Fernando and Tommy vs. Jesse and Pamela moment.
Tommy’s cute rn and had some really, really adorable moments this time around (funny enough, I enjoy him with Cosmo more than I do Max + Cosmo). I just really hope he doesn’t end up becoming annoying and unlikable like Michelle was on the original show. I liked Michelle as a baby/younger, but I didn’t enjoy her when she got older/was a toddler.
Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of the “let’s be cute with babies” on TV-thing, especially on the original show, but I really liked seeing the guys or anyone holding and playing with the babies this time around. For once, I was like, “You know what?? I get it. This totally warms and melts my heart into a million pieces.” Idk, something cute and maybe more maternal?? within me just spoke :’pp
I STILL don’t think Stephanie should have a baby, especially when she has no job, no stable relationship, etc. I also kind of don’t want anymore babies lololol (first Jesse and Becky with Pamela, and of course, there’s already Tommy); there’s already so many people I have to keep up with on this show haha. But if that’s where they want to go, then hey, I’m glad the surrogate’s Kimmy and not someone else.
Needed more Stephanie and Jimmy. Or just Jimmy tbh.
When I saw Vicky, I gasped out loud. Could NOT believe she’s back, even though I already knew she’d be back/had a strong feeling she would be (idk if it was announced).
I DO NOT want the older guys (aka Danny, Jesse, Becky, and Joey) back for the majority of next season. It just seems like whenever the older guys come back it’s more of a static “callback” than actual progression of the episode/overall storyline. I enjoyed a lot of this season because there was less of the older guys; vice versa, I much more enjoyed seeing the older cast members visit this time because there wasn’t so much of them around. So yeah, reaaaalllly hoping we don’t see that much more of the older cast during the next season (if they get a next season), since they all announced they’re going to move back to San Francisco.
On the other hand, I’d really like to see Danny and Vicky finally get a news/television show together and get married already, lol.
I do like it when the older and newer generations are well-integrated, though. The Danny, Jesse, Joey, Steve, and Fernando scene was really funny and one of my favorites. Fuller House is basically just one big fanfiction that isn’t perfectly written, but it’s pretty snappin’ close, and it’s all TRUE AND Y’ALL GET TO CLAIM IT AND CALL IT CANON!! :P :P
Like I said, glad the whole DJ x Steve thing didn’t get dragged out, but a little disappointed it wasn’t exactly, totally resolved... But it’s okay; I can live with it, for the most part. At least they’ve decided they really do love each other, got in a good kiss, and want to try to pursue a real relationship again (hopefully that doesn’t get messed up next season). Excited to see what happens when they’re finally together after the “6 months” are over huehue...
CAN YOU IMAGINE STEVE BEING A DAD AND HELPING JACKSON, MAX, AND THE REST OF THE BOYS OUT?!?!? LIKE MAYBE THEM COMING TO HIM FOR ADVICE ON “BOY/GUY STUFF” AND HIM ANSWERING ALL OF THEIR QUESTIONS AND/OR TRYING HIS BEST TO HELP THEM OH MY WORD IT WOULD BE SO CUTEEEEEEE!!!!
Happy that there wasn’t so much drama over “whether DJ would pick Matt or Steve”; I really didn’t want that plot point to drag on forever :V :V There was a lot more focus on the girls and family-interactions this time around, which I liked, even though it meant less of the adult pairings altogether.
TBH, there weren’t that many substantial main storylines or funny lines during this half of the season, imo (SHOUT OUT to that “ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM” EXCHANGE THOUGH; that scene was hilarious!!). A lot of it focused on everyday family interactions or Stephanie’s “surrogate/trying-to-get-a-baby” storyline (for those who are curious, I’d say the most we got this season was a solid on Stephanie’s storyline, and DJ and Steve confirming they will be getting together, but there really isn’t any further development toward their relationship. Also surprised they didn’t have a Christmas episode??) But tbh, I’m not mad. It was nice to not have to worry about any big romantic or whatever-else-possible drama, and just focus on seeing these characters interact with one another as a family. It was just ordinary, nice, and cheesy fun, and somehow kept me laughing and smiling like an idiot the entire time (which, in a way, is a nice nod to the original show’s purpose). This is really, really just a feel-good show. And you can see that reflected in the cast. You can just tell how comfortable everyone is with one another, and at times, you can see some real tears about to be shed during a couple of heart-felt scenes. It really is just about one big, ordinary, and optimistic family (although sometimes a bit too optimistic lol; I think they give themselves a bit of a dig about that at the end). So yeah, Fuller House is cheesy, ridiculous, lame, or whateverrrrrrrrr you want to call it, but I love it. And I enjoyed watching every episode of the entire second half of this season :’333
Please tell me they bring on Urkel as a special guest for Season 4.
Please tell me they will get a Season 4!!!! I KNOW THE SHOW SUCKS AND IS CHEESY AND LAME, BUT I AM LIVING FOR IT AND LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!!!
Yup, I think those are my thoughts for now. Might add/edit some more points in later if I can think of anything!! lol :P :P
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Here’s The Best of 2019 As Picked By Members Of The Used, Periphery, Counterparts, Killswitch Engage, Grayscale & More
Well everyone, we did it. Somehow someway we all survived yet another 365 gloriously trying days on this place we call earth. In about two more weeks, we will officially begin a brand new decade with hopes of starting something beautiful and life-changing for the human race. Until then, we’d like to take a second to look back on some of the finer things that came out of 2019 – you know, like the best album, best song, best movie, etc.
Like we’ve done in years past, we’ve completely turned our year-end best-of list over to the artists we cover on a daily basis because let’s face it, their opinions are the ones we all really care about, right?
Right.
To check out what bands like The Used, Counterparts, Periphery, Killswitch Engage, Fit For A King, Grayscale, Atreyu, Wage War, Boston Manor and more have all been obsessing over for the past year or so, be sure to see below. We hope you enjoy this final list as much as we do and wish you all the most peaceful and positive holiday season ever.
Enjoy!
Jeph Howard and Dan Whitesides - The Used
JEPH HOWARD
Best Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return And Knocked Loose - A Different Shade Of Blue
Best Song of 2019: “Blow Me” - from The Used and yes I’m biased.
Best Music Video of 2019: Wendall - “The Power of Wings”
Most Underrated Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return. Her vibe reminds me of my favorite era of hip hop.
Best Movie of 2019: Dr. Sleep, great book too. Must have been tough rewriting the story just enough to mix both the book The Shining and the film adaptation Kubrick made and then making a movie based on both origins.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The OA season 3. So unfair that never happened.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Epstein was an inside job and also the cat playing the cell phone ring tone 😂
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: HodgePodge Superfest 2019 Indonesia, mostly because I got to hang with a couple family friends I haven’t seen in years.
2020 New Year's Resolution: For 2020 I want to worry less about things I have no control over.
DAN WHITESIDES
Best Album: The Knocked Loose album A Different Shade Of Blue is great and so fuckin heavy! On the other side of things, the Billie Eilish album is really good front to back. Saw her live in Salt Lake and it was pretty sick.
Best Song: Honestly, it’s “Blow Me” by my band The Used. I’m not just saying that because it’s my band. It’s a great fucking song and it has all of my favorite elements in it.
Best Music Video: Blink 182’s “Darkside.” Love the stick tricks and the dancing kids.
Most Underrated Album: All the albums I liked in 2019, I rated them pretty high.
Best Movie: Dumb and Dumber has been the best movie every year since it came out. All the kids movies that came out in 2019 were good. I see them all. I didn’t really like The Addams Family though.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Atypical and Fuller House and I’m not fucking with you. I laugh out loud at Fernando every time!
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): When the deaf baby hears for the first time. I almost cried but I couldn’t because I’m a man and men don’t cry. Just playin! I did tear up a weeee bit.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Saw Rob Zombie and damn he puts on a great show. Back To The Beach was my favorite show I played in 2019. We did a cover of Linkin Park’s “Shadow Of The Day” at that show and it started raining. People were crying. It was nuts!
2020 New Year's Resolution: I don’t really do resolutions but I wish people could just get along despite their beliefs. Life is too short.
Misha Mansoor - Periphery
Best Album of 2019: Mordial by Carbomb Best Song of 2019: “F it Up” by Louis Cole Best Music Video of 2019: “Genesis” by Devin Townsend Most Underrated Album of 2019: Forever, A Fast Life by Infinity Shred Best Movie of 2019: Jojo Rabbit Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Gamer Girl Bath Water Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Attended - Deadmau5 Cube V3. Played - Sold Out London headliner at O2 Kentish Town 2020 New Year's Resolution: Drive more cars
Brendan Murphy - Counterparts
Best Album of 2019: Better Off - Reap What You Sow. Luke is probably the best songwriter I know personally. The album is an absolute fucking hit. I literally begged him to send me the masters before the album came out and I’ve listened to it non-stop since. Was hard to keep that album a secret.
Best Song of 2019: Gotta go with what my Spotify wrapped tells me and aside from the 1975’s discography, my most listened to song of 2019 was “Slingshot” by Better Off. The song is amazing, the lyrics rock, chorus is fucking huge. Like I said, Luke can’t write a bad song.
Best Music Video of 2019: I’ll be honest, it’s rare for me to watch any music video that doesn’t have the 1975 in it so I’m gonna go ahead and pick their video for “Frail State of Mind” because... I mean look at him, he’s so cool. If we could get away with making videos like that I might actually not dread shooting them haha.
Most Underrated Album of 2019: BETTER OFF, YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SURPRISED? I don’t understand how they aren’t the biggest band on earth.
Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar. I’m a total A24/Ari Aster fanboy and I love movies about freaky cults and this movie ticks all the boxes. It’s not as much of a “deep dive” as Hereditary, very surface level, but I mean it’s creepy and it’s shot beautifully and there’s flowers everywhere and in case you forgot I sing for Counterparts so it’s right up my fuckin alley haha.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry without question. Blake made me watch an episode when we were recording NLTL and I binged watched the show so hard I’d be up all night watching when I was supposed to be writing lyrics. Last time I was physically unable to stop watching a show was Lost, so that should say something.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): My own twitter hun xox 😘
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I mean it’s hard to remember our shows because not only are they all fun, I’ve usually had a few chardonnays by the time we go on stage BUT one that stands out is the last day of Private Room 2.0 in Worcester... simply because for all of “Love Me” I didn’t have to say a fucking word, the crowd did the whole damn thing. I think there’s a video where I get so stoked I start screaming “YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT” and jumping. It’s fun and honestly, it’s 10 fucking words don’t make me do it by myself.
2020 New Year's Resolution: Stop accidentally calling my teacher “mom.”
Mike D'Antonio - Killswitch Engage
Best Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Song of 2019: He Is Legend - “Resister Resist Her” Best Music Video of 2019: Death Ray Vision “Just Let It Die” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Yoda/Toyota meme Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Field Day played in Connecticut a few months back. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Refuse the new world order
Porter McKnight - Atreyu
Best Album of 2019: Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff Best Song of 2019: “The Dead Don’t Die” - Sturgill Simpson Best Music Video of 2019: Rammstein - “Deutschland” Most Underrated Album of 2019: The Act - The Devil Wears Prada Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Watchmen Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Paul Rudd “Look at us” on Hot Ones Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Attended - Nothing More - New Orleans March 2019 Played - Mr’s Smalls Theatre - Millvale, PA 2020 New Year's Resolution: Establish a consistent physical art practice
Ryan Kirby - Fit For A King
Best Album of 2019: Just for the purpose of nostalgia, I am going to go with Shaped by Fire by As I Lay Dying. It doesn't re-invent the wheel but it's just some good ole metalcore that brings me back.
Best Song of 2019: I absolutely cannot stop listening to "Masochist" by Polaris. This band is going to be huge!
Best Music Video of 2019: I feel like I have to say our own video for "When Everything Means Nothing" is the best strictly because we all almost died of hypothermia while getting sprayed by a fire hose.
Most Underrated Album of 2019: I think The Valley by Whitechapel doesn't get talked about near as much as it should. Phil's cleans are fantastic and they keep bringing the heavy.
Best Movie of 2019: I feel like this will be a lot of people's favorite movie but The Joker was an absolute masterpiece.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This one is EASILY The Boys. It might be the most well-done superhero show OR movie ever made. Once you watch the first episode, you are sucked in.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): This one is really tough because at this point, I don't even know which meme is from what year. I guess I'll go with Baby Yoda since I know that’s 2019 but with a disclaimer: There are a lot of NOT funny Baby Yoda memes out there.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The show in Cologne, Germany with As I Lay Dying was the biggest club show we had ever played, and at the same time, probably one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Amazing night.
2020 New Year's Resolution: I want to be able to run a half marathon with my dad. It’s pretty simple but he is out here running full marathons all the time and is double my age. I feel like I need to step it up.
Valentino Arteaga - Of Mice & Men
Best Album of 2019: Gideon - Out Of Control Best Song of 2019: Kublai Khan TX - “Self Destruct” Best Music Video of 2019: Ghostemane - “Bonesaw” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Ithaca - The Language of Injury Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Cold Case Files Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Spotify Wrapped 2019 Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Wacken Open Air Festival 2020 New Year's Resolution: Eat less meat & make more music
Matty Mullins - Memphis May Fire
Best Album of 2019: Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Best Song of 2019: Papa Roach - “Feel Like Home” Best Music Video of 2019: Asking Alexandria - “The Violence” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This Is Us Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): @catatonicyouths IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Warped Tour in Atlantic City was LEGENDARY! 2020 New Year's Resolution: Write the best MMF record of our career
Nick Ventimiglia - Grayscale
Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino and Fear Inoculum by Tool Best Song of 2019: "No Age" by Rich People Best Music Video of 2019: "Mantra" by Bring Me the Horizon was pretty wild Most Underrated Album of 2019: Third Eye Blind - Screamer Best Movie of 2019: Big fans of Us and The Irishman Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Peaky Blinders and Mindhunter Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Big fan of the Kawhi Leonard “Hey, hey, hey” memes. Really anything but that lady yelling at that fucking cat. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our headliner in Philly this past October at The TLA. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Rock harder than we did in 2019.
Cody Quistad - Wage War
Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino Best Song of 2019: “See Through” by The Band Camino Best Music Video of 2019: “Resentment” by A Day To Remember Most Underrated Album of 2019: In Darkness by Varials Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon The Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Office, duh Favorite Internet Moment of 2019: The Epstein memes kill me Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Can’t Say I Ain’t Country Tour: Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Morgan Wallen 2020 New Year’s Resolution: Write the best songs I’ve ever written, love on more people, and be healthier
Boston Manor
Best Album of 2019: Death Is A Warm Blanket by Microwave. This record is the best guitar music to come out in years. As our contemporaries, Microwave is constantly challenging and inspiring us to make better art.
Best Song of 2019: “The Brakeman Has Resigned” by Microwave. This song could not be more relevant to us, both instrumentally and lyrically. It’s just fuckin’ perfect.
Best Music Video of 2019: “DIAWB” by Microwave. You get the point.
Most Underrated Album of 2019: Foreign Language EP by Can’t Swim. Always love to see friends changing up their riff game.
Best Movie of 2019: The Irishmen. I’ve watched it like three times in the van now and can’t choose which Tony is my favourite.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Rick and Morty. You son of a bitch, I’m in.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Eric Egan from Heart Attack Man.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Best concert we played would have to be Download Madrid. Right off the heels of ADTR in America, the airline lost our gear so we had to cobble together a backline and ended up playing after Tool to an insane amount of people.
2020 New Year's Resolution: Continue our world domination.
Mike Foley - Varials
Best Album of 2019: Feels Like You by Whirr Best Song of 2019: "Nothing Left To Love" by Counterparts Best Music Video of 2019: Tie between "Lips Like Lemonade" by Nick Prosper & "Mistakes Like Fractures" by Knocked Loose. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Deceiver by Diiv Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Kombucha girl Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The best show I attended was definitely the Balance & Composure farewell show in NYC. RIP. Best played was definitely the Atlantic City Warped Tour date. Also RIP. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Tour more internationally / spend as much time traveling as possible. Really hoping we make it to 3 different continents this year.
Kory Gregory - Prince Daddy & The Hyena
Best Album of 2019: Remembering The Rockets - Strange Ranger Best Song of 2019: “Mono No Aware” - Great Grandpa Best Music Video of 2019: “Must Be Wrong” - White Reaper Most Underrated Album of 2019: Super Enthusiast - Macseal Best Movie of 2019: Parasite Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Been really enjoying Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda forever and always. No questions asked. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our record release show in NYC was really special! That’s my favorite one I played. As far as the ones I attended, this Culture Abuse/Tony Molina show I went to in Boston was pretty legendary. 2020 New Year's Resolution: I just wanna keep writing songs that are better than the last!
Yvette Young - Covet
Best Album of 2019: The Japanese House - Good At Falling Best Song of 2019: “Shrugging Match” - Bobbing Best Music Video of 2019: Don Broco - “Action” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Town Portal - Of Violence Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Discovering bandmemes666, Chibson, catatonicyouths and allgasnobrakes on IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Orlando summer headliner show at The Soundbar 2020 New Year's Resolution: Make a dope full-length album
Carter Hardin - Chapel
Best Album of 2019: Album of the year for me is KIN by Electric Guest. Every song is a bop and the production is so clean.
Best Song of 2019: I would have to say “Friends” by CHAPEL. The band is pretty cool and the song is a slapper.
Best Music Video of 2019: “Panini” by Lil Nas X is mine. It’s the most memorable one I’ve seen this year.
Most Underrated Album of 2019: Pep Talks - Judah & The Lion. Not enough people are talking about that record.
Best Movie of 2019: MARRIAGE STORY. This movie broke me & I can’t stop thinking about it.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Fleabag is amazing. you need to watch it.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda memes are the best memes in the world.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I saw Cherub recently and they always put on the best show. This recent one was super inspiring.
2020 New Year's Resolution: Release more music
Alex Biro - Selfish Things
Best Album: The Act by The Devil Wears Prada. Genre-defying and innovative, this was one of my favourite albums of the last decade. I’ve been a TDWP fan since Zombie EP but the growth they’ve shown on their latest release while still staying true to their roots was sonically refreshing.
Best Song: “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X. This speaks for itself. I’ve never been one to shy away from popular music, but it’s Lil Nas X’s “love everyone but fuck everyone” attitude that kind of impresses me most? He’s punk as hell. He breaks stereotypes. He pissed off 90% of the country music industry. I hope he continues to succeed.
Best Music Video: “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish. I mean, it’s been Billie’s year. We all know that. But the whole “monster under your bed” motif coupled with her wanting to not shy away from the dark side of things in a genre filled to the brim with bubblegum songs and visuals speaks to her innovation as a creative and an artist.
Most Underrated Album of 2019: Everyone I’ve Ever Loved by Valleyheart. This came out a week and a half before 2019 but I’m including it here. “Agnosia” is one of the best songs I’ve heard in years. This band is fucking amazing. Don’t sleep on them. They deserve better than they’ve been given.
Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon. Shia LaBeouf is a true artist, and he’s at the peak of his game here. If you’re a fan of Garden State, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Rocket Science or any other emotionally devastating indie films, this is a movie for you.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Simpsons. God bless you Disney+. I can’t even put into words how nice it is to watch all of my old favourites with my daughter. Treehouse of Horror forever.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Colton jumping the fence during The Bachelor. We admittedly got snowed in during the “snow cyclone” in Wyoming and binged this whole season. I’ve never been more disappointed. Still impressed by his agility, though.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Atlanta, GA w/ Microwave, Boston Manor and Heart Attack Man. We’ve never had that many kids over the barricade. It was one of those “wow, maybe our band isn’t totally shit” moments. We all got off stage and knew it was one to remember. I’ll never forget it.
2020 New Year's Resolution: Learn to be happy with who I am without letting the toxicity of social media cloud my self-perception.
Ryan Donovan - Red City Radio
Best Album of 2019: Mannequin Pussy - Patience. "Who You Are" & "Drunk II" are some standout tracks on that record for me! It's just filled with melodic anthems that have killer soft harmonies and is kind of a technically ambitious record compared to their older stuff, which I also love!
Best Song of 2019: The Menzingers - "America (You're Freaking Me Out)." They fucking NAILED it with this track and our current climate in the US, socially/politically/economically etc. They seamlessly always write some killer tunes!
Best Music Video of 2019: PUP - "Free At Last." No one had heard the song yet. They posted the lyrics and chord chart to the song and took all submissions of everyone's interpretation of the song and edited that down. You just gotta watch it for yourself, IT FUCKING RULES. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Decent Criminal - BLISS. I love this band and their tunes/sound. Small indy label release and I hope they take some more strides forward and keep growing. They rip.
Best Movie of 2019: Favorite movie I have personally seen so far this year is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. I heard it was a lot of either "love it" or "hated it" kind of reviews but I personally thought it was a killer film.
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Ah man, with so much time on the road touring this year for RCR binge-watching older shows was a lot of my downtime when I got back home so here are some favs: Admittedly I had never seen Breaking Bad, that has now been binged and completed. Game Of Thrones (hadn't seen it until this Summer, I know, I know whatever). Animal Kingdom, Succession, Punisher, Jessica Jones and I Think You Should Leave.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): I LOVE THIS MEME and I do love pizza.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Probably the last show of our short tour with Hot Water Music over in Cologne, Germany. It was the largest capacity venue show we have ever played as a band - that wasn't a festival - at 4k humans, sold out! It was also extra special because Rockpalast had a 10+ human camera crew on hand and filmed the whole thing with live edits as it was streamed for anyone to tune in and watch. The edits and camera/audio/streaming quality was A+!!!
2020 New Year's Resolution: Better self-care.
Brett Boland - Astronoid
Best Album of 2019: HEALTH - VOL. 4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR Best Song of 2019: Dinosaur Pile-Up - Thrash Metal Cassette Best Music Video of 2019: Billie Eilish - “bury a friend” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Nightmare Scenario - Beyond What is Real Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Succession Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Sonic The Hedgehog Movie debacle. Best Concert You Attended: Final Slayer show in MA Best Concert You Played in 2019: Exit 111 2020 New Year's Resolution: PUT OUT MORE MUSIC
Conversation
Best Album of 2019: Copeland - Blushing. I’ve been a huge fan of this band for years and years and years; to say that they shaped my songwriting is an understatement. I was lucky enough to catch Copeland for the first time on this tour and it was a truly tectonic moment for me. Blushing was a perfect step for this band in terms of tone, emotional maturity and instrumental creativity. I was just so happy to hear every single song.
Best Song of 2019: “Make It Better” by Anderson Paak. This track just puts you in a good mood!!
Best Music Video of 2019: Our music video for “You’ve Made Yourself Perfectly Clear” where we accurately and tastefully re-created the opening scene of Wayne’s World to perfection. I know it seems like a bit of a brag to say you had the best video of the year, but truth be told, nothing else even came close.
Best Movie of 2019: Joker - I’m sure this will be a pretty common response but IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!
Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Letterkenny - A hilarious show about small-town Canada. If you don’t know, now you know.
Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Jonathan Frakes Asking Questions.
Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: A close tie between Arkells at Scotiabank Arena and Barr Brothers at Mod Club
2020 New Year's Resolution: To tour all of the USA and Europe for our new record. We are all so excited for the new music that we’re about to put out into the world and our undying dream is to show our live show to the entire world. SO THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING!!!
#Best Of#The Used#Periphery#Counterparts#Killswitch Engage#Atreyu#Fit For A King#Grayscale#Memphis May Fire#Boston Manor#Varials#prince daddy and the hyena#Chapel#Selfish Things#Red City Radio#Conversations#Wage War#Astronoid#Of Mice and Men#Covet
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Vettonso x Similar Helmets
SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red
I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red
Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!
Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue
I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet
AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-'#i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other#posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork#i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school?#anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism#i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism?#so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3#again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!!#its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies#both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON#well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!)#if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;;#thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh.#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1
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Belgium 2017
-I’m not sure why I watch these 2017 races when I know most of these engines suck
-“It’s a sleepy part of the world” I wanna be there
-Lewis 68th pole, 200th Grand Prix
-Max and Daniel always qualifying one after the other>>
-Oh yay, there’s the chaotic duo of Ocon and Checo!
-Ohmygod Nico Hulkenburg and Fernando Alonso! Double overtake on that Force India!
-One of the lesser chaotic turn 1s I’ve seen actually
-“For the moment we can go with him, no problem” I like when Sebastian’s confident about his car
-“I think the Force India actually touched wheels going into that lap 1” They can’t ever stop
-“It’s quite a personal battle I’m sure for those at Renault, to try and see if they can beat Red Bull” Hah
-“The top 6 are behaving themselves” That’s what’s really new
-“Embarrassing, that was really embarrassing” Yeah I can imagine- having that great start and then losing pace
-Fernando without a seat for the next season at this point??
-“How do you stop them (Ocon and Perez) from doing that?”
“Threaten to sell them to a worse team” Hahaha unhinged
-WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE ENGINES??
-Max DNF
-Stupid mechanical failure
-6 retirements in 12 races?!
-“You can understand why he wants, if the reports are right, out of Red Bull this moment” Sighhh
-“Lewis it’s hammer time” It’s so stupidly cool
-At this point I really do believe Red Bull has to have a bad day for Toro Rosso to do well
-Both of them are surprisingly in the points right now
-I’ve said this before but I really enjoy watching Kimi go wheel to wheel with other drivers
-Lewis did overtake him here but it was still very cool on his part
-10s penalty for Kimi?! Failing to slow for yellow flags?! When were there yellow flags?
-“No more radio for the rest of the race” Fernando’s race is so not going well
-Kimi: “What do you mean?! He was on the side of the road!” Like??
-“My car is actually really nice now” Oh? Okay then Kimi
-“Ricciardo will pass me in the next lap. I have no protection now but anyway doesn’t change my life” Lol, the passive aggression
-“The F2 leader Charles Leclerc is being lined up for a seat. We wanna see Charles Leclerc in F1 next year. He’s winning races superbly well at the moment in that series”
“He’s the new Ferrari protégé I think”
Yesss
-Checo getting a five second penalty but still being in the points, meanwhile the Toro Rosso pit and then dropped to p15 and 16
-My theory about them needing Red Bull to do bad, to do well was completely wrong
-Sebastian has been 1s (more or less) away from Lewis this whole race
-Nico and Kimi>>
-“The Incredible Hulk there knows he’s racing the Force India really” Haha never really heard that nickname for him before
-Honestly thought Checo already served his 5s penalty but apparently not
-Still made it back into the points faster than the Toro Rosso though
-“Fernando Alonso is out of the race” Honestly, I think he gave up and apparently so did his engine
-When did Daniel pit? I don’t think I ever saw him come in
-“There’s no love lost between these two” “Ocon and Perez, they really do go for it”
-“Guys, why did he pit before me” “Well he had a five second penalty, so he shouldn’t have got you”
-Ah! They touched again! Damage for Checo. Yellow flag
-At least all the other teams are benefiting from their tussle
-Yay the cars are weaving
-“Ferrari are really benefiting from this safety car aren’t they”
-Lewis: “Why have they got the safety car out? This is ridiculous”
-Honestly, to be fair to Lewis, this is a really long safety car for a minor incident
-Ohmygod Sebastian and Lewis are so close!
-Kimi!! He’s gotten past Valterri!
-Ohmygod Daniel too! He’s p3!!
-That was actually so cool! Daniel moving past Valterri first and then Kimi from the other side!
-Sainz back in points!
-Unfortunate for Kevin tho, he’s out of them. P9 to dead last.
-Sebastian’s been so close to Lewis this whole time. Lewis has been defending so well
-Checo retiring with one lap left???
-Lewis, Sebastian, and Daniel on podium!! That’s such a fun lineup! Plus one person from each top team, very nice
-✨Mark Webber✨
#formula 1#f1#formula one#Belgium 2017#belgian gp 2017#lewis hamilton#sebastian vettel#daniel ricciardo#kimi raikkonen#valterri bottas#nico hulkenberg#romain grosjean#felipe massa#esteban ocon#carlos sainz#lance stroll#daniil kvyat#jolyon palmer#stoffel vandoorne#kevin magnussen#marcus ericsson#checo perez#fernando alonso#max verstappen#pascal wehrlein#charles lecrelc#mark webber
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Love me like you do (Part 13)-Balem Series
A/N: Well, here it is!!! I love this chapter, like I rarely love my work but this right here is special to me for some reason lol To the point that I don’t even care if people hate it because I love it so much!!! But….please enjoy haha. ❤️ Ugh my heart.
Mood music:
There’s a list of songs you can envision the dances to, I listened to these four songs while writing!!!
-Love Waltz by Christian Henson -La Valse de L'Amour by Patrick Doyle -Menuet Des Mortes Vivants by Fernando Velazquez -Thais Act 2: Meditation
****
It had to have been his fifth or sixth glass this night, and yet you were surprised at how well he carried himself despite the amount he drank. Though, when it came to Balem, nothing seemed to be normal. In fact, had you just met the man you’d assume he was sound of mind and hadn’t had a single drink. He still held that same proud demeanor about him, looking out at the people at the party as he lounged against the overly fancy couch in the corner. His boots were propped up on the gold and white ottoman, hand held up as he sipped his wine in such a refined manner.
You, on the other hand, were sitting on the arm of the couch with your dress draped along it and slightly over his knees. The First Primary had insisted you sit near him, and while you weren’t opposed to being next to the man, you couldn’t help but feel like glorified arm candy sometimes.
“Do you want to leave?”
Balem’s eyes traveled towards you, intently staring as you questioned him. He wasn’t entirely fond of this gathering, and judging by his disgusted glances towards most of the guests he was itching to be rid of them.
“Hm.” He hummed back, fingers playing with the hem of your dress as he looked up at you. You could already tell what he was thinking, and as much as you wanted to deny the warmth building in your stomach, you couldn’t help but bite your lip in equal want. Maybe it was the wine you had, little as it was, that made his seductive nature a thousand times worse. But, all you could focus on was the hand slowly gliding up your thigh, fingertips pressing into your skin the closer he got to your heat.
“Balem…” You warned, blushing as you glanced around the ballroom at the many people. You weren’t vanilla by any means, but exhibitionism wasn’t exactly your thing. And yet, the way his fingers massaged into your thigh made you shiver delightfully.
“Shh, my beautiful little bird.” Balem hotly whispered out, nearing your neck as he leaned forward. His lips brushed along your skin, tongue poking out to trace random patterns before he bit down gently. It made you squeak out, eliciting a chuckle from him as he pulled away. “I do enjoy the noises you make, little dove.”
Balem tugged you down, effectively pulling you into his lap as he began to explore with his hand. He still held his glass of wine, careful not to spill it as he kissed a quick trail up your neck and along your jaw. You could now tell he was a bit tipsy, he wasn’t usually this way, even when alone in his chambers with you. These kisses had an unusual affection to them, as if he was actually enjoying your company. Though amidst all these pompous tycoons and guests you wouldn’t be surprised.
“Lord Balem.”
Mr. Night cleared his throat, gaining the Primary’s attention as he growled in annoyance.
“Mr. Night…” Balem sighed, a slight warning to his advisor that spoke volumes of his irritation with him. But, the splice merely apologized for the interruption moving away as he bowed and held an arm out towards the man standing behind him.
“Mr. Cygnus, Lord Balem. He wishes to have a word with you.”
You remembered that man, his old, proud face enough to make you frown. He didn’t like Balem much, you knew that, and the way he was currently smiling at the Primary was enough to make you concerned. But, none of this was your place to interfere.
“My Lord, I trust you are enjoying your night?”
Cygnus smugly asked, his eyes scanning over you as he spoke, something Balem wasn’t pleased with. But, the Primary gestured towards the couch across from him.
“I’ve no time to sit and speak of Collux again, Mr. Cygnus. Make your business quick.”
Balem spoke curtly, eyes glaring at the older man as he took a seat and crossed his legs. He waved towards you, a bit of annoyance in his tone.
“I was hoping we could speak alone, Lord Balem.”
His arm was lying protectively over your hips, his cheek resting against his hand as he stared at the businessman with little to no emotion. But, with his eyes he told you to leave, thinking it better if you stayed out of his business affairs. Which you didn’t argue with. With a worried look towards the both of them you removed yourself from Balem’s lap grabbing his wine glass as he handed it to you and walked away, stealing glances back towards them.
You ended up on the opposite side of the room, awkwardly standing against a column as people made conversation with one another, or danced along the ballroom. The noise was loud, and you sighed as you played with the glass in your hands. Every now and then a servant would come by, offering you more wine but you politely declined. You kept trying to see where Balem was, but so many guests kept passing by it was nearly impossible.
“Has he grown fond of another already then? Such a shame.”
With a start, you turned towards the voice, holding a hand over your heart. You only relaxed when you saw Titus standing next to you, a charming smile upon his lips as he looked towards the couch Balem was currently having a meeting on.
“Oh…no, I just-he was busy.”
Titus raised an eyebrow in return, taking a sip of his drink as he leaned against the pillar. He kept his mischievous gaze on you, watching you carefully as you shuffled around uncomfortably.
“My brother is always busy. Never takes a moment to just enjoy the beauty of life around him. It’s a waste really. No matter how long we live…he just spends his time doing….that.” Titus pointed towards Balem, shrugging his shoulders as Cygnus and him chatted away about Abrasax Industries no doubt. But, he hardly seemed interested in it, something you found odd considering Balem was always focused on his business. And in the rare times he wasn’t, he was usually with you. But, that stressed, stern look never left him that often.
“I suppose so.” You countered, trying to move the conversation along. But, Titus only laughed, reaching over to brush your hair behind your ear as he complimented you.
“Why, just look at him now, has such a gorgeous woman with him and he chooses to spend the night talking business. Sounds dull to me.”
You couldn’t stop the blush that crept along your face at his touch, and you looked away as you smiled. “It’s…nothing, really…” Part of you wasn’t buying into Titus’ flirtations, knowing damn well there was ulterior motives at work here. But, denying the charms of this man wasn’t exactly easy either. Hell, the entire Abrasax family was alluring.
“Nonsense. It’s a crime to waste such a wonderful night. Don’t you agree?”
Titus smirked at you, watching you with mild interest as he took another drink. He waved a servant over, placing his glass on the platter before he held his hand out and bowed just enough to be polite.
“I don’t suppose I could ask you for a dance, Miss Y/N.”
Dancing was not something you were practiced at. In fact, you took one class of ballroom dancing in college…except you lasted two weeks before deciding it wasn’t going to pan out to anything professional or entertaining for you.
“I’m not much of a dancer I’m afraid.” You laughed, placing your drink back on the platter as well before the servant walked away to attend to other guests. Titus just clicked his tongue at you, smiling in disbelief as he grabbed your hand in his.
“Now that is a lie, I’m sure. Now come, my dear. I won’t take no for an answer.”
As you made to protest, Titus led you to the middle of the ballroom, snaking his arm around your waist, and holding your other hand up high as he led you into the next dance. The music started softly, and he pulled you along as he gracefully turned, in sync with the couple dancing next to you. You were taken somewhat by surprise. Blinking up at him as you hesitantly placed your hand upon his shoulder.
“There, not so hard now is it?” He chuckled, leaning forward as he whispered into your ear. “I’m rather impressed with your skill.”
“Doubtful.” You smiled, allowing him to lead you along as he spun you gently. He moved you both between the other dancers, perfectly hitting each step.
“So tell me, what is it you see in my brother?” Titus tested the waters of your relationship, eyes curious as he studied your facial expressions. He could easily tell you were surprised by his sudden question, but it only amused him further when you stuttered along your words.
“What? No…I mean, it’s not as serious as you’re thinking…” You weren’t quite sure if he was playing the protective sibling, though you doubted all of them were so close to care about one another’s dating history. Their relationship was relatively unknown to you, but judging by the way Balem acted around them, you figured none of them were remotely close enough for such interests. You could only guess then, at the game Titus was wanting to play.
“Could’ve fooled me.” He said with a smile, spinning you quickly and returning you to his arms as he kept prying. “A game of pleasure it is, then? Merely warming his bed?”
You could’ve been insulted, if it wasn’t true that is. Because the fact was, aside from playing his assistant, you really did spend your days locked in heats of passion with the First Primary. The relationship you had with him was complicated, because there were brief moments of conversation between you two that seemed easy going enough, as far as Balem went anyway. And then there was sex, rough, lust filled sex that left you both wanting more by the end of it. It was these moments that made you rethink your decisions, but sometimes you felt too sucked in already to stop. In an odd way you enjoyed Balem’s company, even if it was usually spent in silence. But, it was an oddly comfortable silence that made you relax and just savor the moment. He was never one for cuddling, but there was peace in just laying next to him, tangled in the sheets of his bed as he basked in the afterglow next to you. Truth is, he was different in those times, different in a way that showed a very much hidden side of him. Where he wasn’t stressed, angry, or anything negative that usually made you want to run away. Sure sex made any man relax, but with Balem it was something more than that you were touching upon. Something you felt you didn’t properly appreciate it until now.
You glanced over Titus’ shoulder, towards the very man who currently occupied your thoughts. He was still talking to Cygnus, his brows furrowed in anger like they usually were, and you felt sympathy then…because you realized in all his long life, he probably didn’t even know what true peace was. Just as you made to look away, his green eyes trailed over to you, doing a double take when he noticed you were with Titus. In one quick movement he stood from the couch, ignoring Mr. Cygnus as he scowled deeply, hatred overtaking his handsome features. He stalked over to you both, not caring as he pushed the other dancers and people away. But, you felt frozen in place, awaiting this powerful man as he made his way to you. Titus seemed confused at first, raising his eyebrow at you curiously, until he felt a strong grip on his shoulder and he was abruptly turned around.
“Oh, brother…how kind of you to join us.”
It amazed you how easily Titus recovered from such things, while you were staring wide eyed at the First Primary, he was simply smirking again.
Balem glared down at him, pushing him further away from you as he moved between you both. He seemed angrier than usual, as if he was ready to kill his younger brother on sight despite the number of people in the room. He never let his gaze falter, he kept his eyes locked on his brother as Titus just laughed and looked to you. The younger Abrasax bowed, one hand upon his chest as he spoke.
“I did enjoy our dance. You must save me another before you leave tonight.”
“Go.” Balem growled through gritted teeth, trying to maintain whatever composure he had. It was odd the way he radiated fury, even amidst the sweet music that began to play again as the musicians took their places. As if everyone was used to the disagreements of the Abrasax brothers, they turned their backs, continuing to enjoy the ball instead of watching the exchange.
Titus and Balem were locked in a battle of stares, only Titus actually seemed the more collected one. You could tell that any moment now Balem would lose it, he got that heated look in his eyes, the one that always preceded a fit of yelling and rage that made all crawl away in fear. To ease the tension between brothers, you took a chance, slowly and cautiously placing a hand upon the First Primary’s arm.
“My Lord.” You faintly spoke, trying to capture his attention the only way you knew how. He always seemed pleased when you called him that, but then again playing on his ego was always a plus…and a negative depending on who tried to suck up to him.
Titus turned his gaze to you, squinting his eyes just a bit as if he was equally surprised and analyzing the situation. But, he wasn’t given much time to decipher the scene in front of him, because Balem placed his hand along your lower back, turning you away and towards the center of the ball. He looked over his shoulder at his younger brother, and if looks could kill that’d be the end of the Third Primary. Not that it mattered anymore, because you assumed you’d be leaving the party for the night, except Balem had other ideas in mind.
You gasped when you felt his fingers slip along your back, until he winded them around your waist and grabbed your hand. His fingertips caressed gently along your palm, tickling you slightly until he fully cupped your hand in his, lifting it up. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even smile, he merely pulled you close to him, his body heat lulling you into a sense of comfort.
You paid extra attention now, your entire body caving under his touch. Balem brushed his other hand down your back, applying pressure to your lower half and pressing you against him. His gold cape was slung over his forearm, allowing him room to move as he quickly joined the dance midway with you in tow. To say you were shocked would be a dramatic understatement, but as he waltzed you two between everyone it stole your breath away.
Everyones eyes were upon you two, and if they were moving away because it was Balem or simply in awe you weren’t sure. But, as he spun you gracefully away and met you again, you eagerly fell into his arms letting him lead you through the dance.
His eyes never left yours throughout the dance, and though his expression seemed stoic, his gaze held something more. Like a sparkle of desire mixed with something you couldn’t quite figure out. It made your heart flutter, just being this close to him in an intimate way that wasn’t sexual…it felt oddly wonderful to you. And that only served to scare you in ways you didn’t expect. After all, this was a first for you with him. Up until now, the only time he was this close was in the bath, and even then it always led to other things. But, this was near exciting and frightening for you, being able to enjoy such proximity with the First Primary like never before. It was like seeing an entirely new side to him, one that didn’t immediately push you away, or leave, or even flat out refuse to use your given name because ‘little bird’ seemed all the more pleasing to him. In this moment, it was simply you both, twirling and spinning along the ballroom floor and gazing into one another’s eyes.
As the rhythm began to heighten, he lifted you up, making you grab his shoulders in surprise as you steadied yourself. But, he held you safely in his arm, before lowering you down gently as the musicians slowly ended their symphony. And as he brought you back down, your faces were inches from one another, breaths mingling, as he gave one small smile that quickly disappeared as soon as he set you completely down.
You both stayed still for a second, looking at each other, and you’d be lying if you said the atmosphere of your closeness hadn’t changed.
“Little bird…” Balem spoke, removing his hand from your back and bringing it up to your face. He hovered it over your cheek, fingers hesitant on touching you this time. But, as the other dancers bowed to each other in thanks for the dance, he simply cupped your cheek, pulling you forward and pressing his lips upon your forehead in a soft kiss.
It made your breath escape in a hushed gasp, warmth spreading along your cheeks as he pulled away and looked down at you. He didn’t say anything else, he just turned away and beckoned you to follow him through the crowd of people.
As you both left everyone behind, he placed his hand on your back once more, leading you with him towards the exit of the ball. It was all too clear he had had enough of the festivities, and as he passed his sister he simply spoke her name in farewell, nodding his head at her and she did the same, though she had a smile upon her pretty lips. Kalique gave you a smile as well, not interfering this time as the First Primary seemed eager to leave. As you walked along the grand bridge of her alcazar, Mr. Night joined you both, rushing to let the captain of the ship know you’d be heading back to Jupiter.
“Leaving already, dear Brother?”
Balem paused at the end of the bridge, turning just enough to glare at his brother from his peripheral vision. No words were spoken between them, and as the ramp to his clipper opened, descending down, he moved you along as he walked up.
You were used to his moods, so much so his random fits of screaming hardly phased you anymore. Though, for some reason he did seem to lessen his rage when you were around. Mr. Night, the poor splice despite your own frustrations with him, was a constant target. Come to think of it, the man owed you for calming Balem on more than one occasion. But, right now, he seemed extremely angry, bristling with a fire that refused to be put out. His green eyes were shining, unblinking, as he glared at his brother from atop the entrance to his ship. Their gazes locked, and there was something there you couldn’t quite get a handle on. Like a hatred that seemed so deep nothing in this universe could fix it.
“My Lord…?”
You reached for him, hand resting on his forearm as he turned his gaze to you. He didn’t say anything, simply twitched his lip as if he was close to losing control again.
“MR. NIGHT!”
The splice ran up the ramp into the ship, nervously standing before Balem as he bowed slightly. “My lord.”
“Enough wasting time. Gather my security deployment and set course for the refinery.”
The splice bowed, hurriedly running inside the ship to relay the orders to the captain. Balem shot his younger brother one last annoyed glance, before grabbing your arm and pulling you inside along with him. The ramp began to pull up, the vision of Titus standing outside slowly disappearing. You gasped when Balem tugged you along, his grip strong on you. But, you didn’t dare utter another word for fear that it might really set him off this time.
He dragged you into the elevator, face set into a stern expression as the doors closed and you began to rise up into the large ships higher levels. The ride up was quiet, and you stole glances his way, biting your lip as he stood silent, seething, and impossible to calm this time. You weren’t close enough to him to say much about his relationship with his siblings. Sure you suddenly felt more than well acquainted with him now, but it was just a dance…and nothing, despite your overwhelming emotions, could magically make you know his family dynamic.
The doors slid open, and without a word Balem exited the elevator, stopping only to look over his shoulder.
“Little bird.”
He pulled you from your thoughts, and you hurriedly picked up the edges of your dress and followed after him. Once inside his chambers, he worked at removing his high collar, letting it clink to the floor along with his golden cape in frustration.
“Lock the doors. I do not wish to be disturbed under any circumstance.”
“Yes, Lord Balem.”
The robotic voice of his ship’s intelligence echoed off the chamber rooms. And you watched as he took a seat on the bed, running a hand through his hair and looking straight ahead in deep thought. You felt for him, whether you agreed with the business he ran or not, the way he seemed so stressed nearly broke your heart. You were always so sentimental…and while you usually tried to hide that part of you, seeing him like this was just too much for some reason now. Like a switch had gone off, and you mentally cursed yourself for it.
You took a seat on the bed, scooting behind him, and slowly reaching a hand out to awkwardly pat his back in comfort. Except the moment your fingertips touched his armor you just rested your palm against it, lost.
“I…”
It didn’t seem your place to do so, and part of you was screaming to quit now while you still had a chance of living. But, you caved to the emotions you currently felt, and as he sat in front of you, silent, you leaned forward resting your cheek against his back next to your hand. It was a small comfort, an offering of remorse on your part for the trials he had to endure with his less than tolerable siblings.
****
A/N: I’d greatly appreciate feedback~
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annoying (a fernando torres imagine)
based on #16 from this post
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“He’s a dickhead, Elle! Leave him! Fuck him right off, the snotty little prick!” You yell.
Fernando rushes into the bedroom. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
You throw your head back dramatically onto the pillow and groan. “No.”
Concerned, he rushes to your side and looks at you intently. “Are you alright? What’s happened?”.
“Elle can’t see that Warner’s being a twat to her. And it makes me so mad!” You gesture wildly at the television screen, where Legally Blonde is now paused.
His eyes soften and he smiles, fighting back a bigger grin. “Are you projecting your life onto Legally Blonde again?”
“No.” You mumble stubbornly.
“You’re my best friend, idiot, you know you can talk to me.” Fernando laughs, before gesturing at you to move over and scooching into the space next to you. “Plus, you’re a terrible liar. Spill.”
“I’m fine. Honest. Can’t even remember his stupid double-barrelled surname.”
(You definitely could. But Fernando didn’t need to know that.)
Your boyfriend had dumped you after a rather disastrous meeting with his parents, telling you in a quiet, almost condescending voice that they just didn’t think you were a good fit.
(Aka, you hadn’t gone to private school and were currently a part-time student, part-time waitress.)
(Snobby dickheads.)
“He’s a prick.” Fernando stretches and rests an arm around you, and you nestle into the crook of his arm. “Honestly. You’re way too good for him.”
“You have to say that. You’re my best friend.”
He lets out a light, airy chuckle, “Trust me, being your best friend does not mean that you’re totally immune to criticism.”
“Oh, really? Go ahead, then.” You pause your Netflix and sit up to face him.
He’s grinning, a sparkle in his eyes, and his hair is still slightly damp from the shower he took at training. Fernando’s an attractive man, without a doubt. You sometimes forget that, considering you’ve known each other for virtually your whole life.
(It almost reminds you of the ridiculously massive crush you had on him for the first 7 or 8 years of your friendship.)
“Go ahead and do what? Criticise you?” He chuckles. “No thanks. I’d like to reach at least middle age. That won’t happen if you kill me first.”
You laugh, “Go on, I won’t kill you. Promise! What do I do that’s so annoying, then, Torres?”
“You leave the tap on when you brush your teeth, which is completely inconsiderate towards the environment, you’re ridiculously last minute and it stresses me out to no end. Plus, you’re getting crumbs all over my bed and I changed my sheets about 24 hours ago, so thanks.” Fernando rattles off, counting on his fingers, and as soon as you open your mouth to disagree he puts up a finger. “The most annoying thing of all, though, is that you criticise yourself far too much. You’re beautiful, and funny and kind and any guy on this entire bloody planet would be lucky to be with you, okay? Don’t be so self-deprecating. It’s annoying. Probably the most annoying thing about you.”
You swallow, kind of thankful that you didn’t interrupt him earlier, and feel your face burn up. It makes you feel like that lovesick 15 year-old all over again, and for once, for the first time in years, you don’t necessarily hate the feeling. Fernando’s face is mirroring yours, flushing bright fuchsia. “I should go. Antoine’s waiting and I’m probably already late.” He leaps to his feet, untangling his arm from yours at lightning speed. “See you later.”
“Fernando, wait-“
“Sorry, I really need to go.” He rambles. “But um, I just want you to know-“
“Hm?”
“I meant what I said. Every word.”
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A.N.: dun dun duuuuuuuun cliifhanger ending (not really) i can write a second part if you guys want it!! hope you liked it and the rest of the drabbles should be up soon!! (i have like 8 to do left haha so patience will be key) x
#my writing#drabbles#fernando torres#fernando torres imagine#fernando torres fanfiction#football imagine#footballer imagine#football fanfiction#also shit title i know ill update this when i think of something better!!!
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@simplyirenic tagged me just as i was creeping on @lahmly‘s post so haha. i hope im doing this right? am i supposed to answer all the questions before the taggers additional ones? Oh well!
1. Who was the first player who caught your eye with football (whether or not you still like them)? Bastian bloody Schweinsteiger, yes I know, what, what how Miro was right there, right in front of you. Mhhmm. let’s not talk about it. Now, it’s mostly complicated because Manchester United happened MLS??? anyway, yeah, that dumb hothead was the first. (I should’ve gone for fips. let’s be real)
2. How did you get into football? Into your favorite teams? Much like Ireny, my father was the initial push, we would watch lots of international/south american teams and competitions. I didn’t get into club football until much much later. I, too, had an excellent german teacher and that sparked my eternal love for Germany (and well, Peru hasn’t qualified since before I was born so I needed a WC team.)
3. If you could undo any transfer that’s ever happened, which would you undo and why? I don’t hold many grudges but probably some of the kids we’ve sold off at Bayern. If I may veer off the Buli course, Joey Allen, welsh extraordinaire for Liverpool because I’m still boggled at that. He was so good, and he did so much. Miss ya Joey.
4. What’s your favorite shameless dance party song? Anything by Kesha. Though that’s more flailing and bopping. If you want to see me actually dance there’s more of a chance with some spanish songs. Love me some salsa. (I’m terrible at dancing in general. I can do a handy Waltz tho)
5. What language that you’re not already fluent in do you most want to learn? German? The given answer is German but I also really like Polish and Swedish. the green owl of duolingo is probably glaring at me from the app grave.
6. What’s the one thing you always take with you when you start a new life chapter (a book, an old toy, a picture, etc.)? A good thing about technology is having pictures and stuff stored on phones and generally accessible things but I have a couple of books I keep handy and I have a tiny teddy bear that’s from when I was a wee one.
7. Do you have pets? What kinds? Yes, I have a cat named Willow who is a middle-aged brat. I actually got her from my neighbors when my first cat ran away (long story) because their mom or someone in their household was allergic and she’s a doll. Much nicer than my first cat.
8. What retirement hurts you The Most? Philipp Lahm No actually yes. I don’t know. Let’s not think about it.
9. What is your favorite match ever played? Robert Lewandowski losing his mind and scoring five goals in 9 minutes right around my birthday so I personally felt vindicated? Hahah. Actually if I had to pick in the last three years, I think the Europa League match between Liverpool and Dortmund for club. Finally, finally, beating Italy in the Euro for international. And okay, Miro scoring in the semifinal against Brazil.
10. What’s your most ridiculous piece of football fan-paraphenalia (that weird hat your mom got you, the free wrist warmers you picked up outside a stadium, the bayer leverkusen condoms your friend gave you as a joke, etc) I don’t really have anything ridiculous, though I have come close to buying some weirdly self-indulgent paraphernalia on Ebay. Frauke sent me an ad with Anja in it from a magazine, does that count? I just have the basics, jersey and scarves.
11. What season/tournament would you go back in time to experience now if you could see any one you wanted? I really really want to own like a dvd set of the world cup okay, im never over it. but agreed with Ireny the 12/13 treble season no doubt.
BONUS 12 (because it’s a good question but i didn’t want to repeat): What about your favorite player makes them your favorite?
I love Manuel Peter Neuer because.....just kidding. this is actually like strangely hard to articulate. I love Fips because he’s such a strategist. He’s so smart in the way he plays and downright devious when he gets mad. I love Anja because I have a thing for humble elevens. She’s not really selfish with the ball? Basti was all about what he brought to the team (and Lukas too) he was very much the beat of the heart.
1. Planes, trains, or automobiles? Trains definitely. I don’t like the recycled air of planes and I can’t sleep on a plane unless I completely exhaust myself so.
2. If you had to switch your football team to another in each league you regularly follow, which team/s would you start supporting?
Tricky! I have always said things might’ve gone differently if I found more Schalke friends because I could’ve really tossed in my lot with them or even Augsburg?? If the German trio hadn’t been at Arsenal and my other self Santi Cazorla hadnt decimated City that one time, I probably would’ve been strictly a Liverpool supporter. Now, I’ve got divided loyalties and hate the EPL for putting me through this. As for the women, I think Montpelier? and Potsdam. oh, and Man City women.
3. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen happen at a football match? Not strange per se but live in front of me, the german women’s national team giggling over the anthem being sung atrociously.
4. What was the last concert you went to? Bastille in Brooklyn!!! Part of their new tour. I’ve been super fortunate to catch them for both their American tours when they put out an album.
5. If you were given the chance to go into space to colonise a different planet, would you? I love how everyone gives an explanation for nah they’re not qualified. Meanwhile, I say yes. take me off this space rock. As long as I can keep up with the football scores.
6. Do you have a favourite type of goal? What type of goal is it? I do love long range goals. and the weird kicks(Oli with the scorpion kick). Probably the Xabi Alonso patented set piece goals. BUT my absolute favorite type of goal are the goals scored by defenders (and not just the it’s a set piece lets bring up all our tall defenders to head it in type but the genuine, how do I celebrate a goal, it only happens when the planets align I actually got up here and kicked it into the right spot defender goal)
7. Who’s a player that you used to dislike, but have come around to? (If one such exists) Neymar? Half of the Spain national team? Fernando Torres There’s a lot of players I have come around to because I’m old and I’m tired of the football drama haha.
8. How about a team that you used to dislike but have come around to? Real Madrid because I met so manyyy fans that crossed my path and generally have a team in common with me. I don’t actively root for them but I wish them the best with my estranged son Toni and Colombian nugget James. I’m slowly coming around to OL Feminin because Maro is there.
9. Would you rather be a recognised artist/genius often on television and in the papers, or a reclusive artist/genius without your face publically connected to your works? The latter. I want to be Lemony Snicket.
10. Which pair of shoes do you most regularly wear? My “house shoes” which are basically flip flops past their prime. I also have comfy boots for the winter.
11. Would you take a penalty kick in a final of The Big Game? Or would you prefer to let a teammate take care of it?
Definitely a teammate. That’s too much pressure. Nope nope.
Ireny’s questions!! :DD
1. What’s your favorite football-related possession?
I have a current season Philipp Lahm jersey and my Bayern scarf is soft and kinda worn. Both were Christmas presents from @goetzed
2. Have you ever met your favorite football player or seen them play live? If you haven’t, what would you tell them?
Yes! Not to bore you with the details but I got to see Bayern on their US tour in 2014 so I got to see Lewy and Holger and Tobi Schweinsteiger. Pizarro scored a goal. It was fabulous. and I got to see the Gerwnt and Leonie scored! I got to see Stevie play for LA Galaxy! And I got to see Fips and Xabi and David in the last US Tour at Metlife. I’m hoping to see Basti with Chicago Fire this year (THEY PLAY MY HOME TEAM ON MY BIRTHDAY) and I’ll probably burst into noisy sobs and look terrible. I haven’t met anyone personally tho.
3. What are your top three comfort foods?
Arroz con leche (rice pudding but I swear it’s like a thousand times better than the stuff you buy at grocery stores.) Papa a la Huancaina ( I talked about this before) Ice cream, just some good old ice cream, usually with some sort of bits/chunks of stuff.
4. What‘s your favorite uplifting bit of news you’ve heard this week?
I think I really like the girl who got accepted into all the Ivy Leagues? That’s pretty dope. I also like the transgender veteran who recently transitioned.
5. Have you ever played football yourself? What position did you play? If not, what position do you think you’d like to try?
I don’t think so. I mean my dad managed a local team and my brother played for a bit recreationally but like I probably kicked a ball and called it a goal as a toddler. I’ve always thought about this and I think I might be best suited for midfield. or maybe a defensive winger? I’m pretty short so. A goalie would be awesome but I have a feeling I would suck at it.
6. Would you rather watch a TV show with interesting characters and a terrible plot, or boring characters and an interesting plot?
So interestingly enough, this came up randomly during the week and it was related to fanfiction and how it should be deemed it’s own form of literature. and I think it made a lot of sense because I would probably watch a terrible plot with super interesting characters. Characters engage me more than a trite plot you know?
7. You can make one change to a rule in football or implement a new one. What is it?
I think I like the idea of a soft red card or the “orange” card in theory at least, instead of throwing them out of the game completely, have a set amount of time off the field, like in hockey. But it probably wouldn’t work given the nature of football and its players. OKAY actually, one thing Ive been sort of tinkering with mentally is totally disallowing own goals? because that shit is awful. Maybe adding more added time if an OG happens? again, really impractical but in theory I would love to get rid of OGs.
8. In xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Neymar is Samuel L Jackson’s first choice footballer to join the fake Avengers. Who would you ask instead?
Xabi Alonso and Gigi Buffon. Make them seduce people. They’ll get the intel. It’s probably Xabier’s Cool Girl Guy dream.
9. What’s a fic trope you wish more people would write?
not a trope but anything with other WNTs besides the US/NWSL centric. Fake married is always a good one or the closely related, woke up married. Time travel/soft scifi tropes because I LOVE THEM. Anything with magic. One trope I love and don’t want to write myself because taking a stab at it wont do it justice is Reincarnation AU?
10. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon?
Aurora Borealis. or Meteor showers.
11. There is no eleventh question because I’m the worst at thinking up questions. Instead post your favorite football photo here.
this took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish. I tag @goetzed @bananasplit86 @ben-woodburn and whoever else wants to do it!
As for adding questions, these are good questions and I really have nothing to add besides BONUS QUESTION: what’s next on your buy list? or what would you like to get if you had some extra cash to spend?
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What We Learned: Canadiens continue to make themselves worse for no apparent reason
Another summer, another wasted asset? (Getty)
The Alex Galchenyuk trade was a long time coming, that’s true.
But if you saw the immediate assessment from pretty much everyone on Friday night, you fully understand that everyone sees this as another big L for the Montreal Canadiens.
The question to be asked of any trade is, “What’s the point?” and if you’re Marc Bergevin, what answers could you possibly begin to offer that make sense? Galchenyuk was a natural talent who was nearly a point-a-game player early in 2016-17, when he was already coming off a 30-goal season as an age-21 center, before a bad knee injury seemed to set him back. That was all the Habs needed to inexplicably shuffle him away from the middle of the ice forever, despite the fact that they desperately needed someone — anyone — who could play that position in a lost season when they had all the time in the world to experiment.
Instead, his most frequent linemates this season were Jonathan Drouin, a good player, and Artturi Lehkonen (not so much). Galchenyuk still ended up as the team’s second-leading scorer who was also third in goals despite playing just 16 minutes and change a night somehow.
Again, it was clear the Habs wanted little, if anything, to do with him but if the plan was seemingly always to trade him, the way they handled him this season was baffling. If you’re trying to get someone to buy high on a guy you don’t really value that much, you have to put him in more of a position to succeed, especially if you’re trying to sell people on the fact that he’s a competent center. Instead, Bergevin and by extension Claude Julien spent much of the season more or less saying, “I know this guy isn’t ready to be an NHL center after that knee injury 18 months ago,” and even if that were true and you had your heart set on shipping him out this summer, that’s not how you handle it.
The return for Galchenyuk, who will absolutely be used as a center in Arizona, was left winger Max Domi. You’ll notice that, in the Canadiens’ pursuit of a legit No. 2 center, they seem to have traded one away for a guy who is decidedly not a center at all, which is a weird decision. Moreover, while Domi and Galchenyuk have identical career points-per-game numbers, Domi has also played nearly 200 fewer games in his career.
Ah, well, Domi debuted in 2015-16, versus the lockout-shortened 2012-13 campaign for Galchenyuk. But here’s the thing: their birthdays are separated by fewer than 13 months. It took Domi longer to get himself to Galchenyuk’s level, and while their games are very different — Domi is more of high-skill grinder set-up man-type player — the amount of quality they bring to their respective teams should be a major point of concern.
After all, if Bergervin’s media availability about the trade referenced “energy” and “intangibles” more than once, with an ask for doubters to watch highlights on YouTube, that should be telling. That in addition to the acknowledgement that this guy is, of course, definitely not a center. You can find some really great goals scored by, like, Fernando Pisani or Alex Tuch. These aren’t the kinds of guys you trade Galchenyuks for.
Domi wasn’t exactly running with the biggest of the big dogs in Arizona (he mostly played with Christian Dvorak and Clayton Keller), but he still finished 17th in primary assists per 60 among players with at least 500 minutes at full strength this year. In the same neighborhood as Jaden Schwartz and Evgeni Malkin. Nothing to sneeze at. The question is, do they put him on Drouin’s top line immediately? If not, who else can he pass the puck to that will be able to convert at the same rate as a Keller?
No one is saying Domi is a bad player — though his worse-than-Zac-Rinaldo underlying numbers on a crap Arizona team certainly don’t say he’s a good one either — but the Canadiens don’t seem to have acquired the best player in the deal, either. And in fact, they’ve moved on from a player that theoretically could help at a position of need (even if they were reticent to try him there) for one that definitively does not help there.
Sure, he’s 12-and-a-half months younger, and came with an advantageous contract situation — the Habs immediately signed Domi to a two-year extension worth $3.15 million against the cap, after which he’ll still be an RFA due to his wholesale lack of service time — but the cap savings on this deal is only about $1.75 million, and it’s not like Montreal is right up against the ceiling or anything anyway. They have to re-sign like four guys and will have $21 million or so in cap space right now, so that’s probably an indicator that the GM is going on safari with some big game in mind.
Maybe, if you’re being charitable to Bergevin, you argue that’s $1.75 million more that can go to a big signing this summer that’s going to steer this team out of the skid. But can you honestly trust Bergevin to make such a signing? Short of John Tavares, who’s he going to acquire that makes the kind of impact Montreal needs such a player to make? The decision-making on both the UFA and trade markets exhibited by this particular group of executives has been beyond baffling for years, and it’s not about to turn around just because Bergevin may or may not have an in with Tavares’s agent.
But it once again circles back to what a guy provides, y’know? Domi is probably at a maxed-out value (pardon the pun) because it’s hard to see him staying an elite set-up man for too long; his personal all-situations shooting percentage was just six this year, well below his previous career average, but his teammates shot a whopping 11.6 percent with him on the ice. Maybe you chalk that up to his elite set-up skills, but also, there probably aren’t too many guys who can reasonably support an 11-plus teammate shooting percentage long-term. Especially with a low-talent group like the Coyotes and Canadiens both have. Most of the guys with on-ice shooting percentages of 9-plus over the past three seasons have names like Matthews, McDavid, Perry, and Pastrnak; can we really consider Domi in that group?
Unlike the Habs, Arizona actually put Domi in a position to succeed, and while they probably weren’t shopping him, one imagines that when Bergevin called, John Chayka felt it was one of those “we’re always listening but they’d have to bowl me over” offers.
Apologists will say that the jury is out until they’ve played the full 82 in 2018-19, or maybe even longer. But when the hockey world — even the national media guys who don’t usually put the boots to teams over this kind of thing — is collectively laughing up its sleeve at what seems to be another lost trade for the Canadiens, you really have to wonder.
Three summers in a row, Montreal has traded out at least one name-brand player. Subban, Sergachev, and now Galchenyuk. The return has been Weber, Drouin, and now Domi. Is that a team that’s improving? Is it even a team that seems to have any kind of direction?
The only thing Bergevin should be happy about these days is that he’s not Pierre Dorion.
What We Learned
Anaheim Ducks: I can assure you: Teams should always always always always always take the best player available. “Should they do that?” is a question we need to stop asking.
Arizona Coyotes: Click here to see Shane Doan whining about how Galchenyuk doesn’t Play The Right Way. Also note Galchenyuk, at age 21, had as only one fewer 30-goal seasons as Doan did in a 21-year career. Doan would probably also like to see Galchenyuk chicken-wing elbow a few more opponents in the face. Get lost!
Boston Bruins: This is a nice little deal for Matt Grzelcyk. Think this could be a very good bottom-three defenseman for a number of years.
Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres love acquiring guys who were on BU in 2015. Insofar as they’re up to four such players. Which is a lot.
Calgary Flames: The Flames would be delighted to move up in the draft but Brad Treliving said, “I’d like a helicopter, too.” So probably don’t get your hopes up.
Carolina Hurricanes: The Hurricanes should already be trying to extend budding star Sebastian Aho but the player would be very wise to refuse until he has another potentially get season.
Chicago: Well, these are definitely two guys, for sure.
Colorado Avalanche: I love to qualify my lede about the Avs maybe moving up to No. 4 by the eighth word of the first sentence.
Columbus Blue Jackets: Haha yeah, okay.
Dallas Stars: Kari Lehtonen is selling his house and maybe that means he’s done in Dallas after this season you never never know.
Detroit Red Wings: The Wings have offered pending UFA Mike Green $6 million for one year or $10 million for two. Take the latter deal, Mike.
Edmonton Oilers: There are still players who WANT to play for the Oilers? Signs and wonders.
Florida Panthers: The Panthers made a big deal out of their 25-anniversary logo and it’s…… fine I guess. I always loved the crossed-hockey-stick-and-palm-tree secondary logo.
Los Angeles Kings: I absolutely did not hear about the Kings trading for Peter Budaj again last week. So here’s that news.
Minnesota Wild: Pretty good examination of how the Wild miiiiiiiight be able to make some small changes to improve their chances to compete. But also, good luck in that division hahaha.
Montreal Canadiens: Yeah again Domi is a good playmaker but for whom is he Playmaking?
Nashville Predators: Sure the Predators don’t need to make any kind of big changes but imagine if they felt like doing that anyway?
New Jersey Devils: Here’s New Jersey governor Phil Murphy throwing $20 in the trash.
New York Islanders: I literally won’t believe a word about Tavares re-signing until it happens and even then I’m gonna be like, “Yeah, but really?”
New York Rangers: Plenty of machinations coming up for the Rangers in the week ahead. Having that many first-round picks is a nice kind of luxury, isn’t it?
Ottawa Senators: I love that the Sens finally got around to suspending Randy Lee a full 17 days after he was arrested. Dorion’s out here like “We made it clear we don’t tolerate this kind of stuff” and it’s like, come on man who are you fooling?
Philadelphia Flyers: Just in case you were wondering whether buying tickets to preseason games was a ripoff, the Flyers and Islanders are playing each other four times in September.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Horrible news about a Pens prospect and his junior teammates injured in a fire.
San Jose Sharks: If the Sharks can get a good forward this summer I like them a lot to come out of this division.
St. Louis Blues: This is an evergreen headline, to be honest.
Tampa Bay Lightning: Tyler Johnson, the Spokane Enjoyer. Say, do you think there might be an NHL team near Spokane, like maybe about four hours away, sometime soon?
Toronto Maple Leafs: Honestly, if you can get Tyler Bozak relatively cheap (which I doubt) he’d be a useful bottom-six center.
Vancouver Canucks: The Canucks probably should be looking at a buyout or two but probably won’t make a move there because, ah, why bother?
Vegas Golden Knights: So funny that an expansion team isn’t picking until 61st. Very sad!
Washington Capitals: I’m increasingly of the opinion that John Carlson really might re-sign after all.
Winnipeg Jets: Don’t get it twisted: Just because the Jets are really good now doesn’t mean Winnipeg is no longer a “frozen outpost.”
Gold Star Award
I always feel so happy when guys get traded out of bad markets, so congrats to Alex Galchenyuk!
Minus of the Weekend
Phew, that was a close one for Max Domi, who is no longer an immigrant now that he’s moved back to his home country. Now he’s gotta Make the Canadiens Great Again!
Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Week
User “DownGoesMcDavid” is on one.
To Van: Karlsson Bobby Ryan
To Ottawa: 7OA 2019 2nd rnd pick Tanev Kole Lind Michael Dipietro
Signoff
May I see it?
Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.
(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)
More NHL coverage on Yahoo Sports:
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#_revsp:21d636bb-8aa8-4731-9147-93a932d2b27a#_lmsid:a077000000CFoGyAAL#_author:Ryan Lambert#_uuid:d40555dd-bb19-3343-8f34-1ca714b010f3
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Sad Love
I thought I didn't care.. and that I could sit here and say you know what fuck this.. but I can't. I've been avoiding being alone and now that I am.. all I want to do is cry.. not only over the fact that I lost you but.. that I'm still hurt as to what happened. And you probably haven't even had a second thought about it 😔because I know I'm not important. I know I'm not someone that anyone ever really falls in love with. I'm just the girl who comes in to people's lives after they've been hurt so badly and I give them as much love as I can like a stupid clueless wreck before they leave me to find what what they really want. Ive only ever fallen in love twice.. and that's twice too many. But the last one wasn't like the other.. it meant more than the world to me. He was my world.. wow don't I sound like an idiot already. But since the day I met him there was something special. I met him once and was able to remember that whole maybe.. 20 minutes of my life from 3 or 4 years ago. Isn't that crazy? I mean I can barley remember people or conversations I have within a week.. and then when I picked him up in my car 3 or 4 years later as a favor to my ex I couldn't stop looking in my mirror smiling thinking how adorable he was.. and how familiar he looked. I even got out of my car to hug this complete stranger before he left. But let me tell you that hug was one of the best ones I've ever had.. didn't wanna let go haha. No matter how much of a mess he was, I mean.. he was homeless at the time, I couldn't stop thinking about him and just kept smiling. Time passed and he added me on Facebook. And I look at all his pictures because not only I wanted to see if it was that guy from that night but maybe to see why he looked so familiar!! I liked some type of tbh and he texted me apologizing for that night. One thing tolled to another and I was talking to the sweetest guy I had ever met. We related to each other so much and he was so funny! Gosh we talked for days non stop and I looked forward to seeing him pop up on my phone every morning ☺️ Then I remembered everything about how we met years ago and we freaked out about how crazy that was and how time just brings people together no matter where they go. Eventually we had our first date at 6 flags. I brought one of my best friends because I was so nervous. She was supposed to have a guy there too but he never showed so she became a huge support system. I was so scared to really go out with him I mean... he was so perfect.. I didn't think there was a chance he'd like me after this. I forced her to sit in the front of my car because I was actually so nervous I couldn't even sit next to him! Throughout the night I was a shy mess. But he thought it was cute... he loved my mess. He treated me like a princess that night I swear. We even named the little Batman we won Edgar like Edgar Allan Poe because he's our favorite poet. Anyway one day we were getting a cake together for a baby shower and he saw me awkwardly order it and again be a mess... he just kept smiling and kissed me so much. He always made me feel so much better about messing up. That day he bought me a little mouse we named Fernando. When I drove him home that night he asked me to be his in the cutest way using Fernando. I couldn't have asked for better. From there we went on adorable messes of dates like driving around and wound up doing absolutely nothing but talking or running errands, going to the mall, sitting on the beach in the middle of the night in the freezing cold and running back to the car to get knocked on the window by the police while my mom was on the phone. Even playing pool and going to a job interview together. Can't believe we both got the job and never actually went through with it haha. That road trip was fun though. Me freaking out on the parkway and you laughing at me and us blasting music singing our hearts out and you practically stripping down to nothing because of that game we played 😂 But then the fights started.. the lies that I found out later that hurt me more than anything. Then the phone calls where you'd have me crying and would laugh on the other end. Never apologizing like you didn't care. But I loved and forgave you for everything and gave you endless chances. You'd talk about your ex's non stop. Once for over an hour and I listened to every word because though it hurt me it made you happy.. and I'd rather you be happy. Plus I get to know you more. Then you started disappearing.. forgetting to tell me when you went out. It hurt because I started to get scared and you knew that. Eventually you started to annoyed at me.. said some mean things to me. I eventually left because it was starting to effect me so badly. I was constantly worried. My anxiety was through the roof. Especially when one of your ex's came back in to the picture.. i understood your history but you also wouldn't tell me when you were going to hang out with her and told me after. You'd always tell me after you did things so I couldn't say anything before hand .... when I left you I constantly missed you even if you hurt me. That's what love does I guess.. but then you said all those things in my car after we broke up. You had me crying and you kept pushing me and saying the worst things you could. I had a panic attack as soon as you got in to work in the parking lot. I was there for an hour my two friends had to come to help me breathe because I was so scared. I kept repeating it was all my fault.. From there we kept in touch here and there.. I still worried. Though you moved in. People lied because they knew I still cared about you and the things they said would hurt me. You said you loved me again and I was the happiest girl in the world... but I wasn't sure if you meant it or if it was an accident.. even though you kept reassuring me. Then after my grandmother passed you spent the night after taking care of me and supporting me through the whole thing. That whole night was perfect in itself with you.. the dinner I cooked, dancing, our attempt to make popcorn, the shower fail where I caught you sitting on the floor outside my door listening to me singing, cuddling up watching movies.. nonstop laughing and smiling, the tickle fights, then just.. falling asleep in each other's arms, the car ride in the morning before school ☺️ that night I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You were someone I'd love to wake up every morning to.. From then on we got closer... you still disappeared sometimes but never for long. I wouldn't mind as much. We spent more time together. Got pizza, played video games, and we drove around when I had time or drove you to work. Then you came to my play. You were so proud of me and you made me feel so special!!! Then that night because semi official again. But we were still going slow so we weren't completely a couple. From there things got worse and worse. You'd stop replying. The first time you called and apologized and made me smile. Then the amount of time you stopped talking to me got longer and longer... we made plans for me to drive you to work. I bought you a huge burrito and made you tea but you walked without even telling me... everything was fine for a while. Bought you a little Olaf and KitKats to cheer you up and drove you to work. We had such a good time. Then the day after you didn't speak to me but you posted things on Facebook and Snapchat all day. I felt like you didn't want to speak to me.. then in the morning you reposted something from my wall.. my overthinking got the best of me and I asked you about it and I think you got a little annoyed at me. You told me what was going on and I understood like always. We were suppose to hang out that night and I was so excited.. I got ready and you never texted me back. I swore I thought I saw you in this blue car with two girls that day but I told myself that's stupid. I never asked you about it. you ignored me.. again pretty much all weekend until we fought Sunday night. I was nonstop worrying about you and you told me not to... you told me I was flirting with someone else and you were so mad... I wanted to cry so bad because it's like you didn't trust me when I never had anything to hide from you. I never did anything bad to you to betray your trust. And he was my best friend that commented on a few pictures to just make me feel a little better because of how you've been treating me. Yet when you say that everything is amazing and you love everything about another girl with heart eyes I shouldn't react. Or when you say that your ex who isn't in your life anymore is your favorite person... that didn't hurt me right. All the other things you've been and have done to me didn't hurt me at all. Or that you're gonna get some girl to realize how amazing she is. No. But here I am. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I felt like I didn't mean anything to you anymore. That you didn't want to see me. I felt like you didn't care to have me in your life anymore.... and well I still didn't want to leave. How sad is that. Willing to do anything for someone who was willing to do anything and everything for everyone else except me... you'd do a favor for or hang out with your ex and her friend as soon as they ask but if I asked to see you you'd ignore me or say you couldn't. I feel ... like crap now. Like I was a joke.. so funny right? :( I was so mad and hurt. Then just.. so sad but. What are you gonna do when you're unwanted. I'm done begging. 😔 I wish you could see this but you never will. Maybe it's best you don't. Nothing would change anyway. There's so much I couldn't even write it all either. Our love story has definitely been the craziest and most meaningful and memorable but.. I guess all the best stories have to come to an end.. otherwise they wouldn't be the best right?
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