#he's downright suicidal at this point

[jesuis-snips]

💀😀💀😀

[honeydazai]

₊˚⊹♡ midday sun and canned crab

feat.: Dazai / f!reader

content: soft pining stage flirting with Dazai (who is insufferable), some suggestiveness

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When push comes to shove, Dazai appears to be resolute, will seemingly impossible to shatter.

His unwavering determination when it comes to matters important to him, as far as you're aware, extends to mercilessly crushing his enemies, to pursuing women in order to convince them to commit double suicide with him — and, apparently, to eating crab.

“You're too cruel, bella”, he whines, voice taking on a pathetic tone, “Do you have no issue whatsoever with seeing me starve?”

Your eyes narrow. “You're obviously not starving when you still have the energy to complain and annoy me.”

He blinks. “Ah, but I'd always have the energy to do that, though. Even after death.”

“You're still not getting my lunch.”

“Just a tiny piece”, he insists, giving you his best begging expression, a dog asking for scraps, “I haven't eaten in days. It hurts, you know?”

As if to prove his point, his stomach grumbles; with Dazai, you wouldn't be surprised if he knows how to make it do that on command. He's tugging unnecessarily hard on your heart strings.

Still, you've been looking forward to this, too. Having skipped breakfast, the idea of a warm lunch got you through the day — only to now be threatened by brown doe eyes.

“And whose fault is that?” Your protests are half-hearted, walls already crumbling, and he knows it.

“Well, for starters it's definitely Kunikida's fault. He's been working me to the bone lately. Don't you think I deserve a bit of a reward for that?”

“Not any more than I do.”

Dazai hums. “Well, I guess that's true.” Leaning forward, his puppy eyes morph into a smirk, oozing with the confidence you're used to from him. Reaching for your chopsticks, cold skin grazing yours, he leans in closer, causing your heartbeat to pick up. “How about we share, then?”

You were hoping to devour the whole meal yourself. For a moment, you consider remaining hard, stubborn. Unyielding. Dazai's fingers rub gently over the back of your hand, drawing faint patterns onto it. With how close he is, you're able to discern the different shades of brown in his eyes; some dark, some warm amber, though you're quick to look off to the side again, flustered by the constant eye contact.

Every single thing about Dazai is intense. Sometimes, you're not sure just how to deal with it — though, usually, you give in; when he's asking you to come along to a café with him, not quite a date but something close to it, when he's begging you to stay over the night, touches fleeting and suggestive, when he's telling you that Kunikida won't mind it if you're half an hour late the following morning, chin hooked over your shoulder, lips against your jaw.

You give in now, loosening your grip on the chopsticks and allowing him to hold them instead, his smile content. Not surprised in the least.

“I knew you couldn't resist me”, he coos, lifting a piece of crab meat up to your mouth, waiting; his grin widens when you close your lips around it. “You're adorable. This is how couples should be eating together.”

Butter and salt spread on your tongue, downright heavenly. “Except we're not a couple.”

Dazai merely hums in his throat, melodic and unconvinced, and feeds you another piece.

notes: i have. dazai disease.

tags: @irethepotato @beandaifuku , @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri @lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @alice0blog @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @black-rose-29 @fyodorscumsock @ayshaashaya @qxxstuff @Irethepotato @serenareiss @atsvsh1 @dilucshandholder @reiikonee @1-800-mocha @xvocadooo @hexiisexii @cupxfcxffee @jodidann @Happymoon16 @yumidepain @nchuuyahq @janeinerz @Aaronthegreatestsimp @fanfiction-waifu @KimxKiba @Morigumy @villainouspotential @ashthemadwriter-uwu @mrsdostoevsky @nikolaisgoofyahhhat @yeonwoomyheartbelongstoyou @hellgirlwhore @c4xcocoa @lyrstybsd @angelsrunes @wuaoqu @disa-ster @aspookyscaryghost @nikolaisboner @urgodmoon @polish-anon @arisu-chan4646nsfw @eroscastle @somnobun @birbysaur @senpaiable @hyunlixie143 @dababyurmom @urgodmoon @4nthonyyliving @brokeniced @nikolaisdove @dxwnstxr @scinclaitnoir @snips18 @flowzel @satohruu @squigglewigglewoo @rainy-dazie @itzashlyn123 @rheeeeeeeesiees @eggcoreloser @mariaace @mello0cat @warriordemigosworld @thescrunkly @ainegueneres @maroj23 @dazaiserectnips @little-miss-chaoss

@hattersrabbit @suve32 @v4mpash3 @fairlyfuji @seraphxoxo @inojuuy @suicide-with-dazai

[desos-records]

The part I appreciate the most in the Lockwood and Co show is how it handles depression and suicidal thoughts in teenagers. As a theme, it’s not often (ever) done well. Lockwood and Co is the only story I can think of that depicts it in a nuanced, realistic, non-romanticized way

but first, before I get into it: [if you’re in crisis or need someone to talk to and don’t want to/can’t use your national hotline, highly recommend Samaritans, genuinely saved my life] okay, let’s go

Lockwood is the most obvious, with his general disregard for his own life and admitted suicidal ideation. Lucy struggles with her self-worth and the intensity of the emotions she’s subjected to. George worries that he doesn’t belong, that there’s something useless or wrong about him. The show depicts these thoughts and feelings in a way that isn’t overblown or dramatized, it’s all but casual. Which is how it happens. Depression or suicidal thoughts don’t crash into you all at once, they creep into your life without you noticing

But more importantly (and again, something I’ve never seen anywhere else), the show also offers counterpoints to those thoughts and feelings. It shows that there is a way out, even though you may feel trapped and hopeless. This is crucial for the show’s target demographic. Bad media depictions of depression or suicide get internalized, contribute to the stigma, and make it harder for people to ask for help. This show doesn’t do that. This show tells its audience that, yes, things are scary and painful and it fucking sucks, but it’s not hopeless. And it says it so well

In the second episode, when Lucy wants to quit, she admits something that I’m almost certain she’s never told anyone

“sometimes I just think I’d be better off dead”

And when I watched this the first time, I expected Lockwood to react the way I’ve seen people react in my own life; with silence or panic or downright dismissal. But he didn’t. He stays calm and he says something that is so so important to hear when you’re struggling under the weight of feelings like this

“I understand that”

Saying this tells someone several things: that you’re on their side, they aren’t strange or monstrous for feeling like this, and that you’re not going to attack or abandon them because of it. And you can see the impact it has on Lucy, the way her face clears. She went from struggling to breathe and near tears to calm and steady. It’s no mistake that in this moment we hear his and Lucy’s theme for the first time (those simple, beautiful guitar strings)

The next thing he says is also important

“and it’s not true”

Simple, to the point, directly addressing her feelings, and (the most common mistake) doesn’t make it about him. Telling someone that you love them or that they’d be upset to lose you might sound nice, and it can be later on in the conversation, but in a moment like this, it’s infinitely more helpful to confront the thought itself

A similar moment in the first book stuck with me too, when they’re underneath Combe Carey Hall and Lucy almost steps into the well. What she’s hearing in her head (and the general phenomenon of malaise that ghosts produce) is very similar to depressive or suicidal thoughts. Before she can fall, Lockwood pulls her back

“no, Lucy, that’s not the way it’s going to be”

Depressive and suicidal thoughts deal in absolutes, so sometimes it takes an absolute to counter it

In the last episode, George has that heart-breaking moment where he says all the awful things he thinks about himself, partly because of the influence of the boneglass and Bickerstaff, but it’s also been building up, there in the background. Increasingly, it’s Lockwood and Lucy working together and George working on his own, which picks at old wounds (engineer, engineer, engineer, weirdo). He bonds with Joplin because he feels like she understands him in a way the others don’t

“it’s nice to have someone to show off to”

But Lucy pushes back against all that because she sees herself in all the ugly things George is saying, because she’s felt that way too. She understands that. She’s so surprised and horrified to hear him saying those things, resigning himself to dying down there, she’s not going to let him go on believing them

“you’re not a third wheel or an oddball or whatever it is that you think you are”

“you’re the best of us”

“we are not losing you, Georgie”

Flo called him that earlier too, but Lucy wasn’t there for that and coming unprompted from her it sounds so much like something you might call your slightly annoying younger brother. She’s so absolute about it all, with no opening for doubt, and you can see something like surprise on George’s face (but also pain because now Lucy’s in danger too)

For all Lucy knows, the boneglass will kill her. I don’t think for a second she genuinely believes her talent will protect her; she told Joplin that to protect George. It’s unclear when exactly she came up with the plan to use the skull, but she was willing to risk it anyway. And she knows, she knows, George will blame himself for this (because she would too, if it were the other way around), but even then, she’s very clear

“this isn’t your fault”

Their whole scene down in the catacombs is two kids trying to keep each other alive, physically obviously, but on the inside as well. And, oh god, George almost crashing down next to Lucy after he’s knocked over the boneglass, trying to wake her up. His voice

“Lucy, Lucy, it’s me, it’s me, say something, speak to me”

I think it’s down in those catacombs that George and Lucy really understand each other for the first time. In their own ways, they’re both curious and suspicious about the Problem and what causes it, trying to learn more about it (and stressing Lockwood out in the process). They both left their families; they both struggle with feeling strange and different than everyone around them. That connection pulls them both back from the edge

Lockwood, for all his confidence, is practically in crisis or was fairly recently (I suspect living with George helped). It’s fairly common, actually, for someone suicidal to overcompensate with an exterior shell to hide it, which can manifest in different ways depending on the person (they may not even realize they’re doing it, I didn’t)

And I love how the show handles it. He’s not made into this dark, tragic figure. He’s so full of life it hurts. He jokes around with George and Flo, fights with Kipps, admires Fairfax. He has dreams (plans) for the future. He’s struggling with trauma, they all are, but he’s not Broken™ in the way similar leading characters are often made out to be, in the way we often fear we are

And, of course, there’s Lucy, a wreaking ball through the precarious balance of Lockwood’s life. It’s not so much that she gives him a reason to live (although she definitely helps), but she holds him accountable in a way no one else does. This is the difficult part of recovery that no one talks about. Having people care for you (George) and sympathize with you (Flo) is great and necessary, especially early on. But at some point, you have to take responsibility for yourself and the noise in your head (you have to open your door on the landing)

What that looks like is complicated and messy and different for every person, but seeing it played out in a story is remarkable. I’ve never seen anything like it. This is a difficult thing for anyone to learn (many adults never even try)

That shot of George, Lucy, Lockwood (and Kipps) rising up on the catafalque sums it all up for me. Each of them fell into darkness alone and rose out of it together. They inspired each other to fight and win their individual battles, even when they couldn’t be there to help

[garr9988]

I say this as a big SU fan: If I had to give Steven Universe one glaring L above all else, while fully recognizing that it may be at least in part due to the final season & Future being so rushed:

It’s having Rose and her death be so heavily suicidal-coded (the art books went in on how much she loathed herself and thought she was incapable of changing, so) and yet ending the series with Steven being so irreconcilably angry with her and the impact of her death that he locks a reminder/representation of her away in a place he doesn’t visit so that he doesn’t even have to acknowledge her existence.

Granted, the finale ended with Steven getting therapy and clearly improving his relationships with the Gems, Greg, and Connie that were similarly causing him grief, but Rose in particular is a very specific case in that we don’t see whether he improves his feelings on her, and because she’s dead she isn’t an active presence in his life that he’s compelled to reconcile with. Greg is his dad and Connie is his girlfriend, he has to like them to keep them around, but there’s no incentive with Rose.

There’s also Greg, Pearl, and Volleyball still loving Rose even with the full picture, but to me that feels barely there anyway, a half-hearted tack-on.

I still have a big gripe with the movie for tacking on Rose’s treatment of Spinel and making Rose seem even worse than before, purely because neither the movie nor Future remind the audience of the ways she eventually improved. It felt like the writers went too far when they had already given us Rose’s story in reverse and already had the characters react negatively to the news she was Pink Diamond in the original show.

There’s obviously room for audiences having to remember these things themselves and that a narrative doesn’t have to point these out all the time. But a narrative bears responsibility for the way it frames things and the way it wants or expects an audience to view something.

Rose’s redemption arc being shown in reverse IS cool, in concept! But when the audience insert protagonist and a lot of other characters get this reverse arc and act like the terrible things are the conclusion of her self, that these secrets aren’t her past that she left behind but the mask being ripped off and the true evil monster being revealed for who she is… it doesn’t leave a good taste in my mouth.

That’s certainly part of why a good chunk of the fandom hates Rose the way they do, bc to a non-negligible extent the show is fostering their view, playing it out on screen without actually correcting it.

It’s obviously realistic and possible and downright good & compelling for someone to have a very negative response to another character’s death (suicide) and the fallout they’re left with. But a character who dies in such a way, especially Rose. deserves to be given sympathy and respect within the narrative.

[ineffable-endearments]

The Crow Road by Iain Banks

I finished The Crow Road and had a little time to think about it. I'll put my thoughts under a Keep Reading in case anyone is trying to avoid spoilers.

As I speculated before, I think it's likely that The Crow Road is more related to Good Omens in philosophy than in plot. I mean, it's not that the plots necessarily have nothing in common, and we could be very surprised in the end of course, but now that I've read the whole book, its philosophical commonalities with GO are both apparent and kind of inspiring. Also, if I were a writer, I'd be more interested in dropping hints about what themes are important than telegraphing my whole plot ahead of time.

So here, I will describe the book and point out themes that I believe may reappear in Good Omens 3.

This is a long post. If you read it, make a cup of [beverage of choice].

Update on 4/20/2024: I made a second post: The Crow Road and Good Omens: Further-Out Thoughts

Below are mentions of suicide, death/murder, and sexual acts.

The Crow Road centers around a character named Prentice McHoan, a university student in Scotland who starts to sort out his complicated relationship with his complicated family as he explores the mystery of his uncle Rory's disappearance. Although the book is mostly from Prentice's perspective, the narration jumps around in time with the McHoan family. There are quite a lot of important characters to keep track of; the bare-bones summary I put below doesn't even include some of the important ones. I wanted to make the summary even shorter and simpler than this, but the truth is that this book is not short or simple, and if I made the summary any simpler, it might be downright misleading.

There are at least three major cultural aspects of The Crow Road that I am inexperienced with: the overall culture in the 1950s-1980s (I was born in 1988, so of course wasn't here for the relevant decades), the international experience of the Gulf War (again, born in 1988), and the history and culture of Scotland itself (I'm USAmerican with only reading as a source). As a result, I'm sure there are important dimensions to the book that I've missed. If someone has a different perspective taking some of these things into account, I'd love to know about it.

Also, keep in mind, there is a great deal of descriptive writing in this book. There are a lot of pages about the geography of Scotland, and about Prentice as a kid, and about Prentice's father and uncles hanging out together in their youth, and about various family incidents, and about Prentice spending time with his brothers and friends. At first, these passages seem to just make things more confusing, and in my head, I accused them of being "filler." But they definitely serve a purpose. They're a way of showing and not telling the characters' attitudes and relationships to each other. More importantly, because we get to actually live these experiences with the characters, they are what give all the plot points below their deeper emotional impacts. In other words, the everyday experiences give the plot its deeper meaning. They resonate with one of the core themes in the novel: that our experiences in life, rather than any supposed existence after death, are what matters.

The Crow Road's story is like this:

Prentice is rather directionless in life, and he seems to have trouble investing any energy in his own future as he moons over his unrequited feelings for an idealized young woman named Verity. Soon, Verity ends up in a romance with Prentice's brother, Lewis, and Prentice feels that Lewis "stole" her from him. Prentice has also become estranged from his father, Kenneth, over spirituality. Prentice believes there has to be something more after death because he feels it would be incredibly unfair if people didn't get anything other than this one life; Kenneth is not only a passionate atheist, but is offended by the notion of an afterlife.

Prentice's uncle Hamish, Kenneth's brother, has always been religious, although his religion involves a number of bizarre and offbeat ideas of his own, with inspiration from more traditional Christian notions. Prentice is not really sure about this ideology, but he's willing to talk to Hamish about it and even participates during Hamish's prayers, whereas Kenneth is openly scornful of Hamish's beliefs. Hamish interprets this as Prentice being on "his side."

Prentice has a few opportunities to go back and talk to his father, and is begged to do so by his mom, Mary, with whom his relationship is still good. Mary doesn't want either of the men to give up their inner ideas about the universe; she just wants them to agree to disagree and move on as a family. Prentice says he will visit, but he just keeps putting it off and off and off.

Prentice acquires a folder containing some of his missing uncle Rory's notes in the process of hooking up with Rory's former girlfriend, Janice Rae, who seems to have taken a shine to Prentice because he reminds her of Rory. Using the contents of the folder, Prentice wants to piece together the great literary work that Rory left unfinished, which Rory titled Crow Road; however, it becomes apparent that Rory didn't turn his concepts into anything substantial and only had a bunch of disconnected notes and ideas. He hadn't even decided whether Crow Road would be a novel, a play, or something else. The few bits of Rory's poetry for Crow Road read are bleak and depressing.

Prentice also spends a lot of time with a young woman named Ash. They've been good friends since childhood and seem to have a somewhat flirtatious dynamic now, but they aren't in a romantic relationship; mostly, they drink and hang out together. Ash tells Prentice bluntly to get his life back on track when she finds out he's failing at school, avoiding his family, and engaging in shoplifting. She is a voice of reason, and when Prentice insists to her that he's just a failure, she reminds him that actually, he's just a kid.

Prentice's efforts to figure out Rory's story or location stagnate, and he continues to fail at school and avoid his father. He then receives word that Kenneth was killed while debating faith with Hamish. In fact, Kenneth dies after a fall from a church lightning rod, which he was climbing in an act of defiance against Hamish's philosophy when it was struck by lightning; Hamish is convinced that Kenneth had incurred God's wrath. Ash is there for support when Prentice finds out about the death.

With Ash's help, Prentice returns to his hometown again to help manage Kenneth's affairs. Prentice speaks with a very shaken Hamish, who is handling Kenneth's death with extreme drama and making it all about his own feelings. Hamish tells Prentice that Kenneth was jealous that Prentice shared more in common with Hamish's faith than with Kenneth's lack of faith. However, this isn't really true, and as he contemplates his father's death, Prentice begins to internalize one of the last things Hamish reported that Kenneth had argued: "All the gods are false. Faith itself is idolatry."

As the chapters go on, Prentice is compelled by some of the meaningful items related to Rory that he discovers in his father's belongings. He gains a renewed sense of purpose trying to solve the mystery of where Rory went and what happened to him. Among the interesting items are an ancient computer disk of Rory's that Prentice can't access with any equipment he can find; Ash uses her connections in the US and Canada to find a computer expert who can finally open the files on it. This takes quite a while, since the disk has to be mailed and Ash's connection is investigating the disk only in his free time.

Prentice also discovers that his feelings for Verity have changed. He no longer feels angry with Lewis for "stealing her." At first, Prentice's narration describes this as his feelings "cooling" as a result of the trauma of losing his father, but interestingly, this soon means Prentice gets to know Verity as a sister-in-law without getting caught up in jealous romantic feelings. Verity gets along well with the family, and Prentice is actually happy to discover that she and Lewis have a baby on the way. Prentice's relationship with Lewis improves greatly as well, partly because he is no longer jealous and partly because he realizes he does not want to lose Lewis, too.

Ash's connection who was looking at Rory's computer disk comes through and sends the printed contents of the files to Prentice. The files reveal to him that Rory likely knew Prentice's uncle, Fergus, murdered his wife by unbuckling her seat belt and crashing their car. Rory had written out a fictional version of events and considered using it in Crow Road. I'm not clear on exactly how certain Rory was about Fergus's crime, or whether Rory would have intentionally reported Ferg, or whether Rory even had enough proof to publicly accuse Ferg of murder, but people would likely have connected the dots in Rory's work and become suspicious of Ferg. For this reason, Prentice believes Ferg murdered Rory as well.

Prentice confronts Ferg. He doesn't get a confession and leaves Ferg's home with no concrete proof of anything; Ferg denies it all. But Prentice is soon physically assaulted in the night, and it seems Ferg was almost certainly the culprit, because he hadn't been home that same night, and he had injuries (probably from being fought off) the next day. A day or two later, Ferg's body is found unconscious in the cockpit of a plane, which crashes into the ocean. It's uncertain whether this was a suicide, but Prentice suspects it was. Rory's body is then soon recovered from the bottom of a waterway near Prentice's home, where Ferg had sunk it years ago.

As the mysteries are solved, Prentice realizes his feelings for Ash are romantic love. However, it's too late, he thinks, because Ash is about to take a job in Canada, where she may or may not stay. Prentice also hesitates to approach her because he's embarrassed about his previous behavior, venting all his angst about Verity and his father. He isn't sure she would even want to be in a relationship with him after that. But the very night before Ash leaves, she kisses Prentice on the cheek, which leads to a deeper kiss. They finally connect, have sex, and confess their mutual feelings. Ash still goes to her job in Canada, but says she'll come back when Prentice is done with his studies that summer.

The relationship's future is somewhat uncertain because something could come up while Ash is in Canada, but Prentice is hopeful. The book ends with Prentice getting ready to graduate with his grades on track as a history scholar, fully renouncing his belief in an afterlife while he acknowledges the inherent importance of our experiences in our lives now, and enjoying his time with Lewis and Verity and his other family members.

What's the point of all these hundreds of pages?

Well, look at all of the above; there's definitely more than one point. But the main point I took away is that we get this one life, with our loved ones in this world here and now, and this is where we make our meanings. There is no other meaning, but that doesn't mean there's no meaning at all. It means the meaning is here.

It's not death that gives life its meaning. It's the things we do while alive that give life its deeper meaning.

The Crow Road is described (on Wikipedia) as a Bildungsroman, a story focusing on the moral and philosophical growth and change of its main character as they transition from childhood to adulthood ("coming-of-age novel" is a similar term that is interchangeable, but more vague and not necessarily focused on morality/philosophy). And, indeed, all of the plots ultimately tie into Prentice's changed philosophy.

After his argument with Kenneth, Prentice feels childish and humiliated, and as a result, he refuses to go back home, which leads to a spiral of shame and depression. Kenneth dies and Prentice realizes it's too late to repair the relationship, which also leads him to realize it's what we do in life that matters, and that therefore, his father's argument was correct after all.

At the end of the novel, Prentice outright describes his new philosophy. However, I can't recall one specific passage where Prentice describes the process of how he changed his mind (if anyone else can remember something I missed, do let me know). There is, however, a moment when his narration indicates that Hamish seems less disturbed by his own part in the incident that led to Kenneth's death and more disturbed by the notion that his beliefs might actually be true: there might actually be an angry, vengeful God. In other words, Hamish's philosophy is selfish at its core.

My interpretation is that when his father died, Prentice realized three things: how utterly self-serving Hamish's devout faith is, how Kenneth's untimely death proves the importance of working things out now rather than in an imaginary afterlife, and how much profound meaning Kenneth had left behind despite having no faith at all. After these realizations, a determined belief in an afterlife no longer makes our lives here more profound like Prentice once thought it did.

Also, it's worth noting that this incident changes Prentice's idea of partnership, too. He loses interest in this distant, idealized woman he's been after. In love as in the rest of life, Prentice lets go of his ideals, and in doing so, he makes room for true meaning, both in a sincere familial, platonic connection with Verity and a sincere intimate, romantic connection with Ash.

But what about the sex scene?!

Yes, indeed, at the tail end of the story, Prentice and Ash have sex and admit they want to be in a relationship together. Prentice's narration describes them sleeping together and having intercourse not just once, but many times, including some slow and relaxed couplings during which they flex the muscles in their private parts to spell out "I.L.Y." and "I.L.Y.T." to each other in Morse code. This is relevant because earlier, they had been surprised and delighted to discover that they both knew Morse code; it isn't a detail that came from nowhere.

I didn't get the impression that this scene was trying to be especially titillating to the reader. It was mostly just a list of stuff the characters did together. I felt the point was that they were still anxious about being emotionally honest, a little desperate to convey their feelings without having to speak them out loud, and awkward in a way that made it obvious that their primary concern was the feelings, not the sexual performance. They cared about each other, but they weren't trying to be impressive or put on a show; contrast this with previous scenes where Prentice would act like a clown in front of Ash to diffuse his own anxiety. I've always thought that being able to have awkward sex and still enjoy it is a good sign.

Okay, so what does this all have to do with Good Omens?

Here's where I have to get especially interpretive. I'm doing my best, but of course, not everyone reading this will have the same perspective on Good Omens, the Final Fifteen especially. I believe similar themes are going to resonate between The Crow Road and Good Omens regardless of our particular interpretations of the characters' behavior and motivations, but I suppose it could hit differently for some people.

The TL;DR: I see similar themes between The Crow Road and Good Omens in:

The importance of mortal life on Earth

Meaning (or purpose) as something that we create as we live, not something that is handed to us by a supreme being

Sincere connection and love/passion (for people, causes, arts, life's work, etc) as a type of meaning/purpose

Relationships as reflections of philosophy

The dual nature of humanity

Life on Earth as the important part of existence is a core theme in Good Omens, and has been since the very beginning. We all already know Adam chose to preserve the world as it already is because he figured this out, and we all already know Aziraphale and Crowley have been shaped for the better by their experiences on Earth. But Good Omens isn't done with this theme by a long shot. I think this is the most important thematic commonality Good Omens will have with The Crow Road. Closely related is the notion that we create our meanings as we live, rather than having them handed to us. Isn't this, in a way, what Aziraphale struggles with in A Companion to Owls? He's been given this meaning, this identity, that doesn't fit him. But does he have anything else to be? Not yet.

Partnerships as a parallel to the characters' philosophical development also resonates as a commonality that The Crow Road may have with Good Omens. Prentice's obsession with Verity goes away when he starts to embrace the importance of life on Earth and makes room for his sincere relationship with Ash. Note their names: "Verity" is truth, an ideal Prentice's father instills in him; "Ashley" means "dweller in the ash tree meadow" in Anglo-Saxon, according to Wikipedia, and "ash" is one of the things people return to after death. Prentice literally trades his high ideals for life on Earth. We see in Aziraphale a similar tug-o'-war between Heaven's distant ideals and Crowley's Earthly pleasures, so I can see a similar process potentially playing out for him.

I don't particularly recall a ton of thematic exploration of free will in The Crow Road. However, there is a glimmer of something there: Prentice feels excessively controlled by Kenneth's desire to pass down his beliefs, and part of the reason Prentice is so resistant to change is simply his frustration with feeling censored and not being taken seriously. As the reader, I do get the feeling that while Prentice is immature, Kenneth made major mistakes in handling their conflict, too. And Kenneth's mistakes come from trying to dictate Prentice's thoughts. There is likely some crossover with Good Omens in the sense that I'm pretty sure both stories are going to take the position that people need to be allowed to make mistakes, and to do things that one perceives as mistakes, without getting written off as "stupid" or "bad" or otherwise "unworthy."

Suffice it to say that the human characters in Good Omens will also certainly play into these themes, but it's hard to write about them when we don't know much about them except that one of them is almost certainly the reincarnation of Jesus. This also makes me suspect perhaps the human cast will be 100% entirely all-new, or mostly new, symbolic of how Aziraphale and Crowley have immersed themselves in the ever-evolving, ever-changing world of life on Earth. Alternatively, if we encounter human characters again from Season 1 or 2, perhaps the ways they've grown and changed will be highlighted. For example, even in real-world time, Adam and Warlock have already, as of the time I'm writing this, gone through at least one entire life stage (from 11 in 2019 to 16 in 2024). They'll be legal adults in a couple of years, and if there's a significant time skip, they could be much older. If characters from Season 1 do reappear and themes from The Crow Road are prominent, I would expect either some key scenes highlighting contrasts and changes from their younger selves or for stagnation and growth to be a central part of their plot.

The more I write, the more I just interpret everything in circles. Hopefully this post has at least given you a decent idea of what The Crow Road is like and how it may relate to Good Omens.

I'll end this post with a quotation that feels relevant:

Telling us straight or through his stories, my father taught us that there was, generally, a fire at the core of things, and that change was the only constant, and that we – like everybody else – were both the most important people in the universe, and utterly without significance, depending, and that individuals mattered before their institutions, and that people were people, much the same everywhere, and when they appeared to do things that were stupid or evil, often you hadn’t been told the whole story, but that sometimes people did behave badly, usually because some idea had taken hold of them and given them an excuse to regard other people as expendable (or bad), and that was part of who we were too, as a species, and it wasn’t always possible to know that you were right and they were wrong, but the important thing was to keep trying to find out, and always to face the truth. Because truth mattered. Iain Banks, The Crow Road

[doodlegirl1998]

What do you think when people say that shoya (from a silent voice) and bakugo are pretty similar because I genuinely hate when people say that and I don't think that they are similar but for some reason I don't know how to articulate that

Hi @bibibbon 👋,

I genuinely hate it when people compare Shoya and Bakugou as well. I'll tell you why I dislike this comparison, so I hope this helps you articulate your own thoughts on this.

The only way I feel they are similar is that in their respective narratives, they are both "redeemed bullies." However, Silent Voice does Shoya's redemption well, MHA does Bakugou's poorly.

Silent Voice has Shoya experience conscequence for him leading the bullying and discrimination of Shouko for her deafness, becoming the victim of bullying himself ironically for his role (and everyone else pinning the sole blame on him) of bullying Shouko.

Shoya experiences his own mental health challenges (Depression, social anxiety , and brief suicidal ideation) as a result, loses his old friends, and goes through the effort of learning sign language and reconnects with Shouko.

Shoya also has people (Shouko's sister and mother) who are genuinely and rightfully wary or downright hateful of him for the majority of the story (and rightfully so.)

An aside - Shoya is shown to love and care for his mother. He is deeply guilty for putting his mother in financial trouble by breaking Shouko's hearing aids. He earns money, and one of the beginning scenes of the movie of a Silent Voice is him paying her back before he intends to commit suicide.

Aside 2 - Shouko's pain is also focused on by the narrative. She tries to commit suicide at one point (thankfully, Shoya saves her.) And she is allowed to be deeply upset, snap at, and fight back against Shoya when he is being so cruel to her. It is also shown in the manga that her dad left due to her deafness being discovered, leaving her mother to raise Shouko and her sister alone.

By contrast...

Bakugou is always well loved, by all, despite his constant screaming, despite his verbally, physically and emotionally abusive tendencies to everyone around him.

Bakugou is never fully 'outed' as a bully or experience any form of social ostracisation for his treatment of Izuku. In fact, this is ignored by 1A. (While Shoya's new friend Tomohiro is allowed to experience upset and disbelief at the thought of Shoya having once bullied someone for being deaf in the past - 1A is silent about Bakugou exploding Izuku and calling him useless constantly instead of his name.)

Bakugou does experience mental health challenges - however, this is completely separate to Izuku and his treatment of him - in the form of his kidnapping by the LOV, All Might losing his quirk and dying at the hand of ShigAFO. But it feels like he hardly grew at all... "Will I catch up to you, Izuku?" Along with the card memory feels unearned when you remember that apart from this, for over a decade Bakugou has been beating Izuku down constantly, exploding him, destroying his things and calling him useless (Deku) instead of his name. (Perhaps to ensure that Izuku stays a pebble in his path, stays beneath him, rather than overtaking him.)

Side note - when Bakugou remembers his past, he remembers Izuku offering to help him up, he remembers briefly him exploding Izuku and Izuku chasing after him. Rather than the full nasty extent of the bullying.

Bakugou has people that dislike him, but they are few and far between (Monoma, Present Mic, Tokoyami, Sato) but in the narrative they are always portrayed as wrong.

Bakugou is shown to be abrasive to all of those in his inner circle. His moments of 'softness' are few and far between, seemingly OOC before abrasive bastard Bakugou takes centre stage again. (There's no soft moments like there are between Shoya and his mother or Shoya and Shouko or Shoya and Tomohiro.)

Furthermore, Izuku's pain and thoughts on his own discrimination after some time vanish from the narrative. Nonsensically, throughout the story, he loves Bakugou and seemingly worships the ground he walks on. Bar, one moment in the beginning, Izuku is never fully allowed to stand up to Bakugou or (rightfully) think negatively of him. After some time, Izuku focus and internal voice in MHA just disappears. Izuku's dad is nowhere to be seen, and (unlike Shouko) we get no canon explanation for this. He's just not there.

TLDR - In a Silent Voice, Shoya is redeemed well. He saves Shouko from her suicide attempt, nearly dies in the process, and makes an effort to become her friend and learn sign language for her. He also experiences consequences for his discrimination of Shouko. In the narrative, he shares narrative focus with Shouko, so them becoming an item at the end feels earned.

In MHA, Bakugou is 'redeemed' poorly. His focus when he saved Izuku was about saving OFA. All of the effort in Bakugou and Izuku becoming "friends" is made to be carried by Izuku (Bakugou's victim.) He experiences no concequence of acting like a bratty spoilt child to everyone at UA and still treating Izuku like the dirt under his shoe. In the narrative, Bakugou overshadows Izuku’s focus so much that Bakugou is treated more as an MC and Izuku (sadly) we feel more distant from as a result. Bakugou and Izuku's "friendship" feels abusive and unearned, and I wish they were permanently separated.

[unreal-decay]

tiktok mayhem “fans” really kill me off.

everyday i log in for the daily online grind and see edit after edit and the comments are always talking about mimimi “euronymous was a horrible person!!!” “varg W!!!” “euronymous was a criminal, he literally lists a few things that are downright false”

i saw someone say he was a bad person for:

- encouraging suicide / self-harm + being the reason pelle died (he dabbled in self-harm but alright, equally saying he was the reason pelle killed himself completely discredits everything pelle was feeling. he was his own person, he wasnt formed to be a severely depressed man because of øystein.)

- supported nazi thoughts (øystein was very left wing, this has been proven through and through by multiple of those that were close in contact to him.)

- engaged in cannibalism (again, absolute horseshit. all that bullshit about him eating parts of pelles brain is so out of this world, i think people forget that they did at one point become quite close. yes øystein probably was very emotionally stunted as we know with the images and necklace and such.)

anyhow thats whats rustling my jimmies tonight at 5AM.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AMITA for lying to everyone I know about my identity’s as a queer/neurodivergent person?

I (18M) am a bisexual, transgender man who is also autistic, ADHD, and OCD. When people hear this about me, even if they know me, I feel like they build up this image of me as an awkward, “cringy” 11 year old who’s obsessed with “cringy” fandoms. And while i have a qualm with this because I know they are looking down on people who are just less masked/higher support needs, I also dislike that they do this because it’s just not who I am. Without the labels, I mostly seem like just a normal dude, if not a bit nerdy.

I also used to be extremely bullied as a kid (7-12) to the point of a suicide attempt, mostly due to homophobic, transphobic, or ablest remarks about me. Since then I’ve completely changed community’s and do not talk to anyone i knew before high school.

When authority figures (Teachers, Show Directors, Investors of the teen programs I lead) apply ablest/transphobic stereotypes or prejudices to me, they also tend to be less,,, normal? around me. Less kind compared to other kids, call me an “inspiration”, or they’ll coddle me when I’m incredibly capable. I do a lot for someone my age- and I know the connections I make now at conferences and whatnot will help me in the long run. My dad’s family is poor, and my immediate family is more comfortable but not that much. I know I’m smart, and I can weaponize that to get a better life for my family by getting good scholarships and jobs in good fields. I can’t just let people who could be very important to my goals look down on me. So i just.. don’t tell them anything about me. They might assume Im odd or “not normal”, and for the most part I let them assume whatever, but if i’m ever asked directly about anything I deny it. Especially in relation to me being transgender; I have the very privileged ability to pass without any medical intervention, and I use that to pretend to be cisgender. Living in the deep south of USAmerica, most of who I am could make my social life very uncomfortable to downright miserable.

Here’s where the problem starts happening. when my social and (what i consider to be a) “professional” life occasionally touch, I wouldn’t be able to be out everywhere socially without someone I don’t want knowing finding out. So i don’t tell any of my classmates/friends/peers about any of my identities either. I hang out with queer and straight people, never be actively homophobic/ablest, and will be very vague about the two questions i’ve ever received about any of that stuff. It’s very, very exhausting to pretend all the time, every day, especially pretending that I’m cisgender because it’s a tricky game, but I can’t really back down and I’m afraid that I might get bullied again if I was ever open about it with classmates.

A few months ago, I was dating this guy, who i’ll call Kai (17M) Kai is also a transgender man, but does not pass at all and is comfortable with it. He’ll get shit sometimes, but also has essentially no straight friends. I told him I was queer when we became good friends, and then told him I was trans after we started dating. I also told him why I lie about being cishet or neurotypical, and while he didn’t seem happy he didn’t push it at first. I told him that I understood if he didn’t want to be in a secret relationship, but because of where we live and what I want to do I wasn’t comfortable with being out again. He said he still wanted to date me, and claimed he would support me, and we had a pretty good relationship overall.

A month after that, he started bringing it up again. He told me that I was more than my identity, and if people didn’t see me for who I am instead of stereotypes, it isn’t worth talking to them at all. And while I agree with the sentiment, it’d never be possible to just not hear someone if they were harassing me, and while I truely dislike a lot of the authority figures that I engage with, they are in the professional fields I’m interested in, and I’m incredibly lucky for getting where I am so early. Kai also said that since I am well known in our very small school (only 300 kids), being out could be a positive influence on what people think about autistic people or trans people. In a particularly heated fight, he even said I was doing a disservice or betrayal to my community by not representing or being proud of being apart of them publicly.

We broke up pretty soon after, but I think about what he said a lot. I know that I wouldn’t be the only out person at my school, and that my school is actually a lot better compared to most local schools, which are a lot larger and… dramatic, but I just don’t think I could be out without going back to how I used to be mentally. And Kai was right about how I could be a good influence on some of the meaner classmates- I do think some of my peers who I ingenuinely connect with might reconsider their prejudices if they knew I was transgender.

I’m intentionally choosing not to take the opportunity to do better. It wouldn’t ruin ALL my relationships with the authority figures I consider to be important holding, since it would just be my school, It might dampen one or two of them. Plus, I’m lying to pretty much everyone who knows me. They build relationships with a false idea of me, and I feel like an asshole sometimes because I’m not honest.

TLDR: I’m a transgender, autistic guy in a very bigoted community. Everybody thinks i’m cishet and neurotypical. AMITA for not being proud of who I am because of potential social losses, and AMITA for lying to people and giving friends/peers false ideas about who I am even if they would not be friends with me if they knew?

What are these acronyms?

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

My headcannons for what type of music the Batfam likes lol

Bruce: 40s love songs, mostly because Thomas and Martha are lovers of old music and art it’s a call back to Batman being such an old.. old character.

He also loves really, REALLY sad songs. Just straight depressing songs, like he knows all the lyrics to like the most downright suicidal songs ever.

Dick: he listens to very upbeat music, but like EDM and rap, he also loves circus music and really ridiculously old songs he knows all the words to “the flying trapeze” by heart ❤️

Jason: unironically his favourite album is Neil Cicirega's "mouth sounds" series of albums, he also would never admit it but he listens to Kikuo constantly. he's not a "fan" of vocaloid he just likes some songs. he also constantly listens to 80s and 70s hits as a call back to his character being popular in the 80s.

Tim: worst taste in music ever, he does NOT get the aux. it's all the most popular hits of the last 4 decades, for better or worse.

he also gets all the WE jingles stuck in his head, it's so bad.

it's mostly now video game OST's he got into FNAF lore at one point and actually solved it, and then got super into the music. he relates a bit too much, he calls Jason sometimes mike because they are both undead guys hellbent on keeping kids safe from the evils of this world, and Ra's afton because the bastard always comes back. he will BLARE "I hope you die in a fire" when working a Ra's case.

Damian: despite what he holds himself to he really likes the same fandom sorta music, video game lore was the only thing that Damien and Tim talk about, they have usually ZERO free time to watch or play games they just extrapolate wtf the game is about from their friends WITH free time. that being wally and bart.

so damien has a bunch of the living tombstones, classic Chinese and arabic music but mainly Pakistani, some 80s hits. 40s love songs because bruce is right they are really good, and some mislabeled cassette tapes\CD's Damien picks up on patrol that he likes.

Steph: she didn't really get a chance to listen to much music, since Cluemaster was a dick. but she did bond and learn to love Ballet music ever since Cassandra introduced it to her, she gets whole records and albums and buys one time releases on Ebay for herself and Cassandra. otherwise she just listens to audiobooks or podcasts when working.

Cassandra: TONS of ballet music along with classic Oprah music and theatre music, she goes to plays and pirates them, she listens to every single play or theatre music she can get her hands on. she listens to "rocky horror picture show" "the guy who didn't like musicals" "Coppélia" "Jesus Christ superstar" "The Mousetrap" any and everything. she adores it all, she and Steph are constantly looking for more records and plays to watch and pirate.

Barbara: weirdly enough 60s music, Jim rubbed off on her and she honestly just listens to all sorts of 60s sounding music, she had a Elvis phase where she just was constantly listening to Elvis, eventually she found out there was a TON of other 60s and 70s black artists who were ripped off by Elvis and started listening to them, she then eventually got into punk rock and rock and roll.

Harper: she is fully into the Gotham punk music scene, she literally is one of the biggest supporters of the Gotham punk scene. only random punk song CD's, videos she converted into CD's, old gothamite punk songs on vinyl, digital releases, she just has so much merch half she made herself and half she bought, she is the epitome of Gotham punk fan. she actually has a whole ass internet archive account dedicated to JUST Gotham punk.

Duke: weirdly he loves very ethereal and bright peppy music, only instrumentals though, listens to the weirdcore playlists on YouTube listens to corecore, he just has very strange music tastes.

sometimes he forgets his entire playlist is filled with weirdly ethereal music and the rest of the batfam get so confused, and think Jean-paul is blaring church music again.

Jean-Paul: only church music, he has the most bland music tastes, he sometimes listens to catholic metal or something when he's working but other than that he just blares organ music and mass and church music, everyone tries to tell him that he CAN LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE. PLEASE. but he just doesn't lol.

Thomas: he listens to 40s love songs and old Sicilian and Italian songs, he's a old fart, he loves old movie soundtracks.

William Cobb: circus music only circus music, late 1880s and 1950s circus music. it sounds like a clown house and it triggers the shit out of bruce.

Jarro: he's a baby, he has no actual opinions the batfam put on nursery rhymes andcoco melon

and the rest (carrie, Bernard, huntress and the other ones)

I have 0 idea I have not read enough comics to figure it out lol

[ldrfanatic]

sitting in the corner i haunt

Theodore Nott x Reader "13" Series pt 4 warnings - depression, angst, blood, theo gets the dark mark, mentions of suicide, cursing

this chapter is written entirely from theo's point of view

to be added to the taglist, comment; Also I was gonna include so much more in this part but then I realized I was already at 2k words and it was long lol

ps sorry stinks but now that the series is starting to really pick up there's gonna be a lot more angst before reader and theo get their hea

translator series masterlist <previous chapter next chapter>

slytherin boys masterlist works

One thing Theo hadn't expected was for you not to forgive him. He'd figured you'd eventually find out about the bet, but he'd also noticed your crush on him a long long time ago. In all honesty, he'd been hoping and praying that you'd be able to forgive him and the pair of you could move past it.

Turns out those hopes and prayers were falling on empty ears.

He'd spent the remainder of the fall term secluded. At first, he tried to ignore Mattheo and Draco, still too mad at either of them for what they'd coerced him into. Finally he came to terms with the nature of his new relationship with you after what could have been was burned prematurely. Another thing Theo hadn't expected was for you to be the type that burned bridges instead of mending them.

Rather than feel his emotions, Theo had taken to drinking them lately. He tuned out of the various famous Slytherin parties and drank firewhiskey until it felt like his head was screwed on backwards. His groupies didn't stop chasing him, but he'd started hexing them in return.

Nothing serious just the occasional bat-bogey hex. And only at the ones that insulted you. Whether or not you wanted to be, you were still the girl that held his heart. And it was unacceptable for anyone to insult you. Mattheo and Draco had learned that fairly quickly following the incident.

As the Express chugged along the tracks and onto Platform 9 3/4, Theo tried to ignore the twisting in his stomach. Ever since his mother passed away in fourth year, his father had become an unbearable rotter. He knew that with the war looming, this break would be particularly unpleasant. As he retrieved his trunk from above his seat in the compartment, he didn't even bother with useless greetings to his friends. The children of Death Eaters were never cheery at the holidays. Everyone was returning to their own personal nightmare.

Theo used to feel bad for Mattheo's home situation. Used to. Until Mattheo really begun to live up to his father's reputation. Then all sympathy he had for the boy really flew out the window. Mattheo had been a perfectly fine bloke until Christmas of fifth year. When they'd returned in January, he was awful. No explanation, no more apologies. Just downright awful.

The moment his boot touched the platform, Theo apparated to his father's estate.

Nott Manor was in the most horrendous part of England. It was ALWAYS dark and cloudy. The sun was shining so bright at King's Cross, it was nearly headache worthy. But the moment Theo twisted down in front of the gates of his childhood home, the skies were dark, and the air was cold.

To Theo's surprise, Nott Sr was waiting at the door when he finally approached the massive structure.

"Theodore, my boy."

Theo was silent at his father pulled him into an awkward hug. He was being unusual cheery and it was rather unsettling.

"Father?"

If Nott Sr noticed Theo's tone at all, he ignored it. A large grin was spread across his face. It wasn't the kind that Theo had been accustomed to when his mother was alive. This one was creepy and made Theo's skeleton want to climb out of his skin.

"It's time, son. The Dark Lord will be rising soon, and he's calling for us to strengthen our ranks to prepare for the coming war. You'll be getting your mark soon Theodore. Finally."

Fuck.

Thunder rumbled in the sky overhead and Theo jostled awake. He hadn't sat with his friends on the ride back. With the burning in his arm and the screams of whatever poor bastard his father was torturing in the house, he'd barely gotten any sleep over the break. In fact, the burning hadn't stopped. His body was apparently just as unfond of the mark as his heart was.

What he hadn't expected was to see you. Sitting across from him in the compartment, reading a book. Your eyebrows were furrowed and you seemed pretty zoned in to the novel. Theo cleared his throat lightly and immediately regretted it as it sent him into a coughing fit.

You passed him a flask that you had. Theo accepted it with a quick thanks and drank, the cool water soothing his apparently irritated throat. "Not that I'm complaining cuore, but what are you doing here?" He tried to appear cool and calm but inside he was freaking out. How long had you been sitting there? What if you accidentally saw his mark?

If you had seen it, you made no indication. In fact, you didn't even look up from your book.

"I was just walking past and saw your compartment was empty. Astoria has taken a fancy to my dear awful cousin Draco and wanted to sit with him and that repulsive boy Mattheo. I'd much rather not for obvious reasons."

Even though you came from a pureblood family, you'd never taken a shine to that blood purity crap. It was something that Theo and you had in common. Something that he admired about you. Despite constant pressures from your other, darker side of your extended family, the Malfoys.

Finally, your eyes made contact with Theo's and he felt his breath leave his lungs. He could no longer hear the soft chugging of the train. He couldn't even feel the damn thing moving. Every sense in his body was tuned into you. Your voice still lingered in his ears even when you weren't speaking. His eyes feasted on every inch of you that they could catch. Your scent filled his nose and intoxicated his brain.

"I do miss you, Theo."

"I miss you too, cuore. I know that we were never really friends before, but the truth is, I'd gotten used to your presence. Without you..."

Theo didn't finish his sentence and you didn't ask him to. After you'd finished your chapter, you closed the book and set it on the cushion next to you.

"How was your break?"

Theo stared at you thoughtfully. He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about his break, hence why he'd been avoiding his friends. At the same time, he'd take any excuse to talk to you. And with his father's words, he'd feared this was his last chance to really converse with you before you positively despised him.

"It was... uneventful."

You stared at him with a look that told him you knew he was lying. Disappointment flashed in your eyes briefly and felt like a knife in his gut.

"We both know that's not true. Draco was boasting about your entire little friend group finally getting their gifts from you-know-who." You shifted in your seat and then leaned forward. The look on your face was so intense, Theo felt that if he looked away, he'd simply burst into flames and die. "But even if Draco hadn't said anything to me, I've had a crush on you for almost as long as I've been alive Theodore Nott. I can tell when you're lying. Especially when you're lying to me."

Theo felt rage building up inside of him. How dare you patronize him like this? You had no right to judge him. You couldn't possibly understand what he was going through. "Whatever. You don't know me, Y/n." He sneered at you. In his heart, Theo was screaming at himself to stop. But even as he saw tears gathering in your eyes, he locked that part of him away. You'd shown him that Theo couldn't afford to be vulnerable. "You've no right to judge me. Following me around for years like some little fangirl. You've no idea what it's like when your father and uncle hold you down while you kick and scream and beg for them to stop. To let you go. To get away from a true monster while he carves his mark into your flesh."

Your face morphed into one of shock.

"What?"

Theo scoffed at your empty question.

"What? That dear cousin of yours forgot to mention the excruciating pain? That he was there with my father and uncle and helped them hold me down so Voldemort could brand me like cattle?"

His questions were rhetorical but it didn't matter. He stood from his seat across from you and exited the compartment at the mark on his arm started to burn. It was time Theodore Nott learned. Feelings were and always would be a weakness.

By the time the middle of the second term rolled around, Theo had come to terms with the dynamics of his feelings for you. He'd learned to push them down and away, and he'd grown accustomed to doing so. Instead, he focused on the task given to him by his father to prep Hogwarts for the Dark Lord to take over. You could still get to him in his dreams and he often awoke with nightmares. You'd appeared to him many times and spewed various levels of nonsense. How you'd never forgive him for this and the like. Usually they ended with Theo consuming enough firewhiskey to put down a horse and then falling into a drunken slumber only to wake up the next day with a hangover from hell.

This continued for a few weeks longer until finally, Pansy Parkinson had enough of his shit. She'd never been a best friend of yours or Theo's, but as a close friend of Draco's she heard constantly about the depression the pair of you had fallen into without one another. She'd figured that she'd have an easier time getting through to Theo than you most likely.

And there she sat. Across the Slytherin Common Room from Theo fixing him with a stare that would make even Nott Sr. rethink his life choices. If monsters were capable of that sort of thing.

"What the hell is wrong with you Theodore?"

"What do you want Parkinson?"

Pansy sighed frustratedly and whacked Theo with her potions textbook before resuming her homework as though she hadn't just left him with a fresh bruise. "I want you to stop being such an idiot. What happened to winning Y/n over?"

"It wasn't working out. Found a new hobby."

"What? Cohorting with the likes of Mattheo Riddle and serving as the Dark Lord's newest little bitch?" Theo glared back at the girl but she continued undeterred. "Besides, if it wasn't working then how come she was in your compartment on the train? That is until you lost your shit on her like a rabid animal."

"She doesn't understand. She never will. Not my fault and certainly not my problem."

"What she understands, Theo, is that she loves you. She always has. And now that she's finally coming back to that, you've gone back to being the insufferable twat that you always are."

Theo lit another cigarette. Pansy eyes rolled so far back Theo thought they might actually get caught at the back of her head.

"She took too long to get there. I've moved on from her."

"Moved on so much that you drink just to sleep and smoke a pack of those disgusting things a day? Moved on so much that when you think no one's looking in potions, you stare at her like she's the only girl in this whole school? Why is it that she waited years for you, and you can't even last a few weeks?"

Theo sat forward and stomped his cigarette out on the cold stone floor. He'd officially had enough of whatever little intervention Pansy thought she was throwing. "Listen Parkinson. This isn't really any of your concern. My feelings for Y/n are a weakness. She's better off without me anyhow."

"Your feelings for her are not a weakness. They are the strength that one day will be the reason you wake up from whatever spell you let your father put you under. You fucked up, and it sucks. But now it's time to grow a pair, and fix it. Or don't. Suffer for all I care but please, if you're gonna die, do it quietly."

Pansy shut her potions textbook and stood from her seat. She marched silently up to the girls dorms. But by the time she'd made it halfway up the stairs, Theo was already gone.

--

wc 2059

3.31.2024

-- taglist - @moonlightreader649

[bu-blegh-ost]

Okay, but like. The spy. The mole. For me immediately only one person comes to mind. Here is the way I think.

It is absolutely not Marshall John. He was clearly not in the spy division granted he had a crew and literally lazed around in Cannella long enough to abuse authority there. And after that there is absolutely NO WAY Navy's plan was to fucking execute him in the BLOCK and have Riptide Pirates go for him, on a downright suicidal mission so he joins ANOTHER crew. They could not predict nor plan for this. John is absolutely clean in my book.

Caspian. Ooof, it would be so tragic, cause he's always been there for Lizzie. They knew each other for YEARS, literal years, they were raised together. And that's exactly why he's not the mole. After leaving his tribe, which we know must be true since he mentioned his sister leaving to the capital and I'm pretty sure she is one of the Elders now, he went above water and spent most of his late childhood/teenage years with Lizzie on the Shadowbeard's ship. In no point in time were they split, and so Caspian would have absolutely no way to be trained as an undercover solider. Caspian is not a mole.

But who then, you may wonder? These are the main two closest to Lizzie, right? We don't know anyone else, right? Wrong. There is a new addition to her crew, quite recent actually and it's no one other than Rudith. The fucking healer from Joaldo island, one who had connections with Grandberry Pirates, letting them hang out under his fucking pharmacy. Rudith from Joaldo island which weirdly got attacked the same time a large amount of pirates were gathered there for a tournament. Rudith, who kept saying that life at sea is not really a life for him, and yet when they dropped the fucking sick at Edison Kingdom he surprisingly CHOSE to stay with Lizzie instead and had an absolute honour to listen to them all talking abt thier goddamn plans when they were in a tavern in Allport.

Quiet little, forgettable Rudith. A healer of the crew who just happened to be here. One that interacted with Riptide Pirates so little they don't even remeber he was there.

A perfect fucking mole.

[indiestsnake]

Is it an unpopular opinion to say mouthwashing would’ve been a better, more nuanced story if Jimmy wasn’t an absolutely inhumane monster before the story even started?

Idk. I’m gonna talk about it. Mouthwashing is a video game btw, and its plot contains some messed up stuff. Warning for mention of severe SA, suicide, and probably some gore here and there. Also spoilers! Go play or watch it, it’s such a good fucking game holy shit.

Btw I fucking love this game as is and don’t think it’s bad. Not hating, just speaking out my tiny grievance with the plot. Again, I love this game!!!! And I don’t need it to change to be good. Now, with that out of the way.

So. I’m not saying I don’t hate Jimmy. Fuck that guy, he’s a horrible person. End of sentence. The meme of never saying his name in fandom is so goddamn funny.

But if he wasn’t, I think the story would’ve been more interesting.

Mouthwashing is a psychological horror game. It it about human beings with human flaws having human reactions to human (if complicated) situations. Is Swansea a bad person for killing Diasuke? Complicated, because he believed (arguably knew for certain) that Jimmy’s delusions of grandeur and “fixing” everything would only make him suffer. Anya swallows all the pills, the pills she knows are the only thing between Curly and endless agonizing pain. But… it’s more complicated. Because Jimmy emotionally abused, SA’d, and bullied her into thinking she was better off dead. Everyone is extremely human, even Curly. He’s just a dude who got lucky with his talents, but wants something different from what he got.

Except Jimmy.

Jimmy is horrible to the point of parody. Especially in the fandom. And I get why. He non-consensually got Anya pregnant (I don’t like using the word okay shush) on a spaceship. When he knew they wouldn’t see another human face for over a half a year. Maybe more. That amount of horrific selfishness for five minutes of pleasure is not only completely inhumane, but downright idiotic in all faucets. He is not just a horrible person, he is a complete fucking moron. I genuinely struggle to believe anyone would be dumb enough and evil enough to do that, and maybe that’s a me thing. Feel free to say if that makes sense to you, but to me, it messes with suspension of disbelief.

And it also devalues so much of his later actions and guilt. Jimmy cuts off Curly’s fucking leg and feeds it to him because he is that mad with guilt and a want to fix things. That kind of nuanced insanity, extremely human insanity is such an interesting concept. But he’s not just a regular human. He is a complete fucking idiot and monster. It feels like just another act of idiocy. What about this in particular made him go crazy? Why not his rampant lashing out at his friends? Why not his assault of Anya? If he was just a below-average moral person, a struggling but ultimately good-hearted friend, Anya’s semi-awful boyfriend, his guilt would make so much more sense and feel so much more meaningful. But I struggle to believe such a horrible person would feel such deep guilt.

And there’s the fandom shenanigans I’ve seen claiming evidence for Jimmy emotionally abusing both Anya and Curly. I haven’t seen everything the game has firsthand, so i won’t comment on the realness of that. I choose to believe it as overhating (because remember, this is fiction. Jimmy is not real. You don’t need more reasons to dislike him.) because Curly treats Jimmy like a friend and calls him a friend. At least before the crash.

TLDR, I struggle to believe someone as awful as Jimmy would go mad with guilt to the point of doing what he did. That being, condemning Curly to live twenty-something years of endless agony and misery off a piece of his own leg and then putting a gun in his mouth. I think the story would be more nuanced and interesting if he was more of a normal, slightly-below average dude.

That being said, I love the story as is and it’s amazing. And the SA representation is good and makes Anya’s character arguably better. And hating on good ol Jennifer is kinda funny. So yeah. Cool game. I should really draw smthn for this fandom soon…

[caffeiiine]

I read the tags on your Kunikida post… go ahead and explain, my liege

JUST SAW THIS SOMEHOW ABYWAYS TYYY

OKAY so probably going into detail about how kunikida can be considered passively suicidal since i have the most coherent thoughts on that aand warnings for stuff of that nature under the cut :D + length

[also small disclaimer, i have been procrastinating reading dazais entrance exam and so far have only seen the anime adaptation which apparently left a ton of stuff out so feel free to correct me on inaccurate details and/or missed examples or just downright incorrect information]

[note: idk if passive is the correct term bc i was thinking about it and hes not exactly like oh i hope this kills me yk, so whatever that term is lmk <3]

This stuff also sorta ties in with his ideals and their potential self destructive-ness. they tend to cause him to either negligently often risk his life with there being an apparent “other way”, or just outright risk his life with barely a second thought for his ideals.

so kunikida has very strong morals and that’s the core of his character. the main ideals referenced in the show being his infamous “ideal woman”, “how to make dazai ideal”, and the ideal that basically tells him to save people. [i forgot what that one is referred to as]. If we’re talking timeline wise i think one of the first examples of his ideals causing him to negligently risk his life would be in Dazais Entrance Exam, or The Azure Messenger arc if you’re an anime watcher.

First example off the top of my head in dazais entrance exam would be when him and Dazai first see the hostages, specifically the ones in the room

after the gas came down dazai has to actually wrestle kunikida away from the room because otherwise hes gonna die. kunikida repeatedly shouts about how “people shouldn’t die like this”. This might be a bit of a tangent but later on in the episode he remarks how he “may as well ahev set the bomb off himself” when Dazai asks about Rokuzou’s dad, implying he blames himself for Rokuzou’s dad’s death. This is of itself isn’t enough for me to say “oh yeah he’s passively suicidal” so moving on to the main manga where there are several other instances of his tendencies to throw himself directly in harms way.

[there may be examples before this i just skipped to chapter 40] and starting off strong we have the thing with Aya. This could be written up to circumstance but he had the opportunity to avoid death himself so im counting it. he’s basically hugging death. that’s all i have to say for this.

of course he ends up surviving it because of deus ex machina yosano. After the fact, Aya asks him what he would’ve done if Yosano wasn’t there. To which he replies basically he would’ve done the same thing he just did except died and basically would have been fine with the outcome as long as she didn’t die in front of him. [he would’ve been dead as well and not had to deal with the guilt] i should point out as well, he does this because of his ideals. he specifically cites his ideals around these parts usually. The not letting anybody die before his eyes is one of ideals and the most common one he uses.

[im pulling that from the fact he had no backup plans or anything to actually stop the bomb aside from Yosano, since his words could imply he would’ve tried to save Aya. and the guy with the bombs was using the fact Kunikida holds his ideals very close to him, taht he wouldn’t have allowed Aya to die if he could’ve prevented it.]

aaand i think our last example and best example for tonight

context for the scene: they’re in the getaway helicopter and tecchou is trying to take it down via his sword and Kunikida decides to take matters into his own hands and take down Tecchou. First off, HE DID NOT HAVE TO, CHUUYA IS RIGHT. THERE. HE LITERALLY SHOT TECCHOU WITH GRAVITY BULLETS EARLIER.

HE DID NOT HAVE TO RISK HIMSELF BUT HE DID. also additional context, in this arc and the previous arcs, he’s been faced with situation after situation where his ideals have failed him and he’s been unable to exercise them and save the people he thinks he should.

point being, he feels like complete shit! he probably is thinking like if he should do anything then, it should be he makes sure he gets his friends out of there. regardless of whether he’s dead or alive because he jumps out of the plane and full body tackles tecchou while being in direct contact with fucking chuuya.

chuuya “has to stay out of the fights and arcs half the time because he’s too good at his job” nakahara.

chuuya “just shot tecchou and did a decent job at keeping him back a few pages before” nakahara. you see my point.

oh and then he just attempts to blow the both of them up.

he does not care for his life at all here. not one bit. also he did not need to blow the both of them up. he could’ve made a fucking stun gun or anything else that wouldn’t KILL the BOTH of them??

my whole point is he does not care for his life here and it’s gets worse the more you progress through the manga.

anyways anyways ending off, kunikida repeatedly puts his life in danger either for his ideals or neglectfully and/or without need. this has been a ramble. this man is not okay.

also kinda funny is he’s partners with dazai of all people, actively suicidal princess bungou himself. i really enjoy their differences and how similarly different they are.

^ not actually related to anything but i almost started laughing so hard with my family in the room at this piece, junichiro looks so concerned

[corrodedcoffinfest]

Seven Deadly Sins Pop-Up Masterlist

What a week! Thank you so much for all of your participation throughout this pop-up event!

This week, we covered 7 prompts and there were 45 total entries from 10 unique participants: 43 Fics, 1 Piece of Art & 1 Fanvid were submitted.

I tagged the entries so you can also sort the entries by sin:

pride | greed | lust | envy | gluttony | wrath | sloth

Or by word count:

331 | 666 | 1031 | 1313

Fun fact: Wrath was the most written for sin!

Don't forget there is also an AO3 Collection if you'd like to use it!

Stay tuned. A new pop-up event announcement is coming very soon.

The Sin: Pride Fic Submissions:

pride's gonna be the death of you by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 331 | CW: implied drug use, implied drug addiction | Tags: modern au, famous corroded coffin, angst with a hopeful ending

My Own Version of You by @thisapplepielife | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | CW: Mild Gore, Body Parts, Consent/Ethics (it is a take on Frankenstein) | Tags: Monster AU, Mad Scientist Eddie, His Henchmen, Reanimation, Steve Was Dead and Now This?, Crack Taken Seriously, Spooky Season Fun

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Pride by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 1313 | Tags: Friendship, humor, angst, typical DnD shenanigans, Dungeon Master and Player dynamics (Eddie is a ruthless DM, but his players are little assholes and he isn't a tyrant).

pride by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | Pairings: Eddie Munson, Wayne Munson, Gareth Emerson (kinda) | CW: Eddie refuses to ask for help following his idiotic display of machismo in Jeff's basement. Thank Christ Wayne isn't deterred and ignores Eddie's foolish pride and gets him the help he needs.

Pride by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 1031 | Rating: M | CW: Alcohol/drug abuse, driving under the influence, car accident | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth Stranger Things, past Steddie, Eddie is a very bad boy, possibly downright unlikeable, ambiguous ending

Pride by @stalactitekilla | Rating: M | WC: 666 | POV: Gareth | Relationships: None | CW: Language, some mention of male genitalia | Tags: Gareth, Corroded Coffin

Pride, Sloth & Wrath by @xzerosparrowx | Rating: T | WC: 331 | POV: Eddie | Tags: Eddie is Pride and Sloth, Steve is Wrath.

The Sin: Greed Fic Submissions:

you get what you deserve by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 331 | CW: none | Tags: famous corroded coffin, jeff’s inner monologue, supportive corroded boys

greed by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: T | WC: 1313 | Pairing(s): Corroded Coffin vs Killswitch Records | CW: Angst, embezzlement, mentions of neglect, malnutrition, basically running ragged to the point of no return. food, health mentions. Modern!AU

The Waiting by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | Rating: M | CW: Brief Sex Scene | POV: Gareth | Relationship(s): Gareth/OC, Gareth & Eddie | Tags: You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too, Right Person Wrong Time, Missing Your Chance, The Waiting Is The Hardest Part, Second Chances

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Greed by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 1031 | Tags: Minor FOI compliance, friendship, angst, guilt, regret, self-doubt, self-hatred, desperation, implied trauma responses

Greed by @dreamwatch | Rating: | WC: 1313 | CW: Suicide, MCD, Mental Illness (referenced) Addiction (referenced) | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Eddie, A Stranger in the woods, Dark themes, how far would you go to get what you want?, and what's the real cost?, spooky

The Sin: Lust Fic Submissions:

lust by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: E | WC: 1313 | Pairing(s): Eddie x Reader, Gareth x Reader, Eddie x Gareth x Reader | CW: Smut! Oral (f & m receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, a smidgen of voyeurism (but everyone's into it), teensy bit of angst, happy ending

I Know We're One (Just Me & You) by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 666 | Rating: M | CW: Recreational Club Drug Use | POV: Gareth | Relationship(s): Gareth & Eddie | Tags: Lust as a Desire To Gratify the Senses, Unrestrained (Non-Sexual) Gratification, Gareth & Eddie Experience the Hug Drug Together, Or as Coolio Said: Rollin' With My Homies

not while i'm on my knees by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: E | WC: 666 | CW: sexual content, semi-public sex | Tags: established relationship, famous corroded coffin, love confessions, blow job, hand job, interrupted sex

Lust by @stalactitekilla | Rating: E | WC: 1313 | POV: Gareth | Relationships: Gareth x Roommate! reader | CW: Mutual Pining, roommate has a bad boy kink, fingering, pinv, roommate likes the color pink | Tags: Corroded Coffin, Gareth, Roommate, home for a stretch, established friendship

Lust by @dreamwatch | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | CW: Adultery/Infidelity | POV: Steve | Pairing: Steddie, Steve/OFC | Tags: Angst, Steve, Eddie, Gareth, Steve is married, original female character (background), original child characters (background), unhappy marriage, messy as fuck, melancholy

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Lust by @jo-harrington | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | Tags: friendship, teenage angst, humor, smut/male masturbation (not graphic/detailed), fantasies, crack fic

Other Submissions:

Bang Dem Sticks by @thisapplepielife | Medium: Video | Length: 3:03 | Song: Bang Dem Sticks by Meghan Trainor | Rating: T | CW: Flashing Lights, Quick Transitions, Language (in song) | Pairing: Everybody/Gareth | Tags: Gareth, Everybody Loves a Drummer, Corroded Coffin, Hellfire Club, Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington

The Sin: Envy Fic Submissions:

envy by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | CW: Allusions to smut, jealousy, modern!au, implied that Corroded Coffin met in college | Tags: Eddie Munson x you, references to Gareth Emerson x you in the past

Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 666 | Rating: M | CW: Talk of Off-Screen Sex, Recreational Weed Use, Period-Typical Objectification of Women | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): Off-Screen Gareth/OFCs | Tags: Gareth's on a Hot Streak, None of the Rest of Them Can Understand It, At All

Envy by @dreamwatch | Rating: T | WC: 1313 | Rating: T | CW: None | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin, Steve Harrington, Corroded Coffin are ruthless, Eddie's going through it but it gets better, healing

envious for nothing by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 666 | CW: mention of recreational drug use | Tags: season 2 era, eddie has a crush on steve, he doesn't do anything about it in this but it's there, introspective eddie

Smell My Feet by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Pre-Steddie? They're Kiddos | CW: Latchkey Kids | Tags: Pre-Series, Trick or Treating, Halloween Night, Making a New Temporary Friend Was So Much Easier As Kids

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Envy by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 1313 | Tags: Friendship, angst, teenage angst, happy ending

The Sin: Gluttony Fic Submissions:

Some Real Good by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | Rating: T | CW: Alcohol Consumption | POV: Gareth | Relationship(s): Gareth & Eddie BFFs, Background Steddie | Tags: Corroded Coffin on Tour, Bus Travel, Road Manager Steve Harrington, Eddie: The Magpie, Gareth & Steve: Who Love Him Anyway

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Gluttony by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 1031 | Tags: Friendship, teenage shenanigans, boys will be boys, food/eating, implied sickness

Gluttony by @dreamwatch | Rating: | WC: 1313 | CW: Religious fanaticism, food horror | POV: Eddie | Pairing: None | Tags: Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, Matt (Freak), food challenges, Gareth has a bad time, horror because it's Halloween!

never fall in love with your best friend by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 331 | CW: very brief mention of implied sexual content | Tags: jealousy, Gareth has a crush on Eddie, side steddie implied

gluttony by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: E | WC: 1313 | Pairings: Bisexual!Eddie Munson x Reader (could also been seen as bi, not explicitly stated), background Steve Harrington x Reader's Best Friend (unnamed) | CW: Overstimulation, oral (f receiving), degradation, bisexual!Eddie Munson, pet names, teasing, edging, vaginal fingering + other hand stuff, unprotected sex, rough sex, and a delightful little bisexual surprise at the end.

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - And To All A Good Fright by @xzerosparrowx | Rating: T | WC: 666 | Tags: Friendship, humor, angst, disagreement, supernatural encounters, friendship

The Sin: Wrath Fic Submissions:

wrath by @1lostsoul0fishbowl | Rating: M | WC: 666 | POV: Gareth | Relationships: None | CW: canon character death, use of song titled “goodbye cruel world”

Wrath by @dreamwatch | Rating: | WC: 1313 | CW: child abuse, self harm (slapping/hair pulling) | POV: Eddie | Pairing: None | Tags: Eddie Munson, Wayne Munson, Jeff Stranger Things, Uncle Wayne Supremacy, Good Uncle Wayne, do not fuck with that man

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Wrath by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 1313 | Tags: Friendship, humor, teenage angst, Freak #3 is named Dave in this universe, bullying, emotional outburst, revenge, typical Halloween pranks, Hopper needing to put his Sheriff pants on (still ACAB)

the wrath of gareth by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: T | WC: 331 | CW: temporary character death, grief/mourning, canon-typical violence | Tags: everybody lives (by the end anyway), eddie comes back wrong (or right if you're into that kinda thing), gareth is maybe the best friend ever

Front Page News by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | CW: Language, Property Damage | POV: Goodie | Relationship(s): Steddie, Background Buckingham | Tags: Modern Setting, Famous Corroded Coffin, Pissed Off Eddie Munson, Lavender Marriage, Steve & Chrissy, Secret Relationships, The Goddamn Prying Paparazzi, Chosen Families: No Matter How Unconventional

Wrath by @coffeelouis | Word Count: 666 | POV: Jeff | Relationships: Steve/Eddie | CW: None | Tags: Corroded Coffin

wrath by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | Pairings: Corroded Coffin, manager Phil, and some protesters | CW: Some overzealous protesters and a very naïve Eddie. Literally tried to turn the other cheek and got socked in the face for it. Minor injury, not well described. Oh, and some cheeky retribution and sexual innuendos (bandter, if you will)

"Are there discounts for multiple x-rays?" by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | CW: Language, Minor Injuries, Talk of Sex | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): None | Tags: Corroded Coffin On the Road, Pussy Hound Gareth, Bar Fight

Other Submissions:

Wrath - GreatWise by @alicetallula | Medium: Art | Pairing: GreatWise | Details: Done using ink pens, a metallic ink pen, alcohol markers, gel pens, acrylic paint pens and Photoshop for the name of the sin.

The Sin: Sloth Fic Submissions:

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Sloth by @jo-harrington | Rating: T | WC: 666 | Tags: Family, angst, teen angst

Sloth by @dreamwatch | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | CW: MCD | POV: Gareth | Pairing: None | Tags: Gareth, Jeff, Matt (Freak), Angst, Horror, ambiguous ending, because it's Halloween!

sloth by @the-unforgivenn | Rating: M | WC: 1313 | Pairings: Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin | CW: Angst, self-sabotage, negative-self talk, allusions to excessive drinking and recreational drug use

you belong in a boat out at sea by @steddieas-shegoes | Rating: E | WC: 1313 | CW: none | Tags: gareth and di established relationship, masturbation, vaginal fingering, gareth does his favorite thing in the world: eats his wife out

Not Just Sundays by @thisapplepielife | Word Count: 1313 | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): Steddie | Tags: Corroded Coffin Trying to Make it On the Road, Steve Back Home in Hawkins, Failing at Managing the Distance, Good Uncle Wayne, A Touch of Angst w/a Happy Ending

[yandere-romanticaa]

Dealing with anything outside of the agency was just not your forte. Being stuck to your desk 24/7 hardly helped either but desperate times called for desperate measures so you turned to the only thing that felt familiar. To any sane person, turning to the mafia was an act of absolute lunacy but you were scared and in desperate need of protection and frankly, you didn't want to stress out your coworkers more than you already did. You knew that if you told them the extent of your fear and worries that they would drop everything they were doing and would assist you immediately but ... So much has happened these past few months. It wouldn't be fair to burden them. The mafia was your only option, if they'd have you.

Oddly enough you were welcomed with open arms and by an executive of all people.

There he sat across you in all his mighty glory, a cup of blood red wine on the table, legs crossed and the usual smirk you had come to expect from the ginger man. Despite being in a rival agency, Chuuya was always oddly curt towards you, maybe even downright polite. Well, that was his usual attitude towards strangers (unless he was being provoked that is) but with you it felt... Different. Did you like it? You didn't know. But that didn't matter at this point in time.

"I didn't think you'd come so openly to us." said Chuuya smugly, never once breaking eye contact with you. Feeling yourself tense up you opened your mouth to say something but he interrupted you instead.

"It's alright babe, I know a poor soul when I see one."

Wow, he was oddly intuitive. Uncrossing his legs Chuuya slightly lowered himself, possibly to grab the glass of wine that lay dormant on the table. With a sharp breath you finally spoke up:

"I'm being followed and I no longer feel safe in my own skin anymore. I don't want to bother anyone at the agency but I can't defend myself either so..."

Raising his finger in the air he promptly silenced you.

"So, what you're saying is that you want us to take the fall for whatever happens to you?"

Crap you didn't even bother thinking about the implications. A sudden wave of nausea hit you like a truck but it soon was magically replaced by confusion as the executive started to laugh.

"I'm kidding. I can be funny too, when I want to be."

You couldn't help but to break out into a tiny smile yourself, albeit a very crooked one. Chuuya didn't seem to mind though. You suddenly felt something warm on the top of your hand and you came to the realization that it was most likely Chuuya's hand. You felt his fingers trace various patterns across the soft flesh, like he was trying to get you to talk more, maybe even to soothe you?

You honestly weren't too sure.

His eyes shined with conviction, like a man on a mission. "Tell you the truth, I don't mind you coming here." he said gently. An odd feeling of warmth filled your chest as you blushed but Chuuya didn't allow you the luxury of turning your head.

"Look me in the eye when you speak to me, please. That's all I want."

Was he always so gentle? The Chuuya you knew was brash, loud and, and...

And like magic, he was suddenly next to you, both of your wrists trapped in a tight grip. Feeling his hot breath fan your face you almost felt like squealing but your stupid brain immediately went into overdrive, causing you to say the absolute worst possible thing.

"Dazai-"

"Dazai?"

Shit. Shit, shit, he was going to crush you -

Chuuya was beyond vocal with his distaste for the suicidal maniac and you always understood his reasoning.

But you were a fool and Dazai was charming. It was a very common occurrence for him to flirt with you in the office, to hold you close like this. Dazai was always light and airy, he would be gone almost as fast as he came.

It was fascinating how Chuuya was the complete opposite.

His presence was heavy and the way his eyes glared daggers at you almost made you regret your decision coming here. However, instead of numb pain or a sharp impact you were met with only softness as you could feel him climbing on top of you, your head and back making contact with the soft couch in the process.

"You are here with me and you have the nerve to say that bastards name?"

If he said anything else besides that, you wouldn't know. After all, how could you focus when the mafioso held you so tight but oh so sweetly, almost like a flower you were to scared to drop. You saw his lips move but you couldn't hear any noises that came out of them. For the tiniest second, you imagined what would be like to kiss him, to kiss the fiery man that hovered above you, to taste the bitter wine on his delectable lips.

Your fantasies soon crashed and burned the moment Chuuya said:

"You really should consider leaving the Agency and join us, y'know."

He... He can't be serious. He was joking, you were sure of it. Confusion was written all over your face but Chuuya's stayed the same, no cracks whatsoever. He tsked, his left eye twitching ever so lightly.

"Those detectives can't keep you safe, obviously. But, the Port Mafia can, I can. I can give you anything and everything, just say the word and it is yours."

His words echoed loudly inside your mind and you gaped like a fish, looking at literally anywhere that wasn't him.

Well, what will you do?

The choice is yours.

ENDING 1. (you leave the ADA) // ENDING 2. (you stay in the ADA)

[honeybee2807]

When I first read Cursed Child at 12, at the time, I was aspiring to be a psychologist and was researching a lot on depression and anxiety(especially for kids and teens since I wanted to help them the most). When I read Albus' character, I kept seeing many signs of him being depressed. The way he seemed to neglect himself(there was a line that described his face as sallow[which is a word used to show unhealthiness and self neglect]), his bouts of anger and lashing out, and his general upset and low self esteem. And since bullying and family issues were top reasons for a child to be suicidal, I was convinced.

Now I'm realising that he's more likely of a candidate for a personality disorder(cough... bipolar ...cough). I admit, I'm not as well-versed in personality disorders(so feel free to point out if I'm wrong).

I remember the first time I read CC, I was a bit confused at Albus' sudden mood changes which I deemed to be unrealistic. A classic example was during his third year. He fought with his dad and got angry to the point that he burnt his hogsmede permission form and had a rant, but the moment he saw Scorpius, he instantly went all cheery and exclamation marks??? Normally it takes a while for someone to calm down from a fight and it would be fine if Albus was relieved or just slightly happy. But he went full on exclamation marks and he def wasn't angry at Scorpius.

But that didn't convince me that something could be wrong. The fact that did was the whole time travel plot. Albus read to me as downright cheerful and his insane plot to travel time couldn't even be discouraged by his bestie who claimed multiple times that this was a bad idea and Albus lost his mind. It was like a switch had flipped and he was opposite. Albus was still Albus sure but he acted different than what was told to us. Of course that could be also because he wasn't in Hogwarts which was a major cause of his distress.

But here me out. Once Rose and Hugo got deleted out of existence, it would be a sensible thing to realise that time travel is not a good idea. Scorpius certainly realised it(tho he was skeptical from the start). But Albus didn't and decided that it was a good idea to try again. Either he was a complete idiot or delusional. Then he gave a monologue how losers have powers and abilities(err wot???) and managed to convince Scorpius to try again.

Albus finally seems to come to his senses afterwards(thank god!).

I was incredibly confused for years. Then I read this fanfic where Albus was portrayed as bipolar and then it clicked. All of Albus' overly cheerful behavior and crazy ideas could be described as manic. And I don't think really need to explain the depression part to y'all.

Again, I could be wrong. I'm extremely sorry if I misunderstood bipolar disorder and mixed it up. But yeah, that was my interpretation.