#he’s the worst father

[chloesimaginationthings]

What FNAF movie Vanessa’s REAL job is..

[starlitvick]

Zeus’ favorite past-time: screwing over his kids

Athena's backstory mate

Fucking eaten pre-birth by her own father. Then travels to his brain (plenty of space in that head but well) to knock at his skull with a spear the mother she will never see again made her until someone finally opened up the guy's head (imagine Prometheus being like wtf with an unhinged grin)

Fully grown and yet still a child in many ways, only to meet the guy who ate her and his new wife who is not amused to say the least.

Exiled to live with Triton but it could be worse, at least there is some semblance of family there, and there is Pallas, ofc.

And then the guy who literally ate her pulls a soccer mom and kills her best friend and foster sister over a goddamned playfight bc I ain't gonna raise the kid but gods forbid anyone beats her in a fight.

And there she is, on Olympus, torn from everything she knew and loved, but hey, here's a bunch of domains and a dysfunctional family.

[basalting]

after jasons death bruce "accidentally" slips harvey a crowbar while hes in arkham and kisses his cheek and says, voice soft and colder than ice, "make him hurt for me honey"

it takes 6 guards to sedate and drag two face off the joker the next time two face sees him and for the rest of their lives as soon as harvey sees the joker he goes after him like a rabid dog.

[mxrcusflint]

Bradley "Rooster Babygirl" Bradshaw inspired by this post

[prettybabyimblue]

[solacestea]

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

New dad Astarion who is about to see his newborn child for the first time.

Of course, he expects his child to be the personification of serene beauty and divine grace. Them to have their father’s silken silvern locks, his immaculately chiselled features—the artwork perfected by Tav’s wonderful watercolour eyes…

And then he actually sees the child and—well—everybody assures him that, yes, Astarion, all babies look like that barely a half hour after birth…

He kind of has to take that at face value because he hasn’t seen an awful lot of newborns in his lifetime.

But it would’ve been nice if someone had told him that newborns happen to look like shrivelled potatoes, because he’s really, really trying to not let his bewilderment show. 

Astarion swallows. 

Tav’s beautiful eyes are watching him, waiting for a reaction—an enthusiastic one, no less. 

Maybe Tav will believe that he’s overcome with emotions at seeing his firstborn child? 

“Oh my, darling, I’m…speechless,” is all he can choke out, though, being rather proud that it’s at least not a lie. 

To his luck, Tav only nods dreamily, her full attention back on the odd little bundle in her arms.

“Isn’t she perfect?”

Yes, perfectly hideous. 

Astarion only hums in a way of reply.

That—his daughter, he supposes—is with no doubt one of the ugliest things he’s ever seen, but he has a feeling that his honesty wouldn’t be appreciated after Tav laboured for hours to give birth to this…potato-baby.

“Come, hold her, Astarion,” Tav says, then, bidding him to sit next to her on the bed.

The mattress shifts under Astarion’s weight and he obediently holds his arms out so that Tav can gently place the sleeping child against his chest.

Now that Astarion can take a better look, he can confirm that his daughter’s hair is of an indefinable colour and that her features are neither his nor Tav’s, plain as can be. Surely it won’t stay like that?

He and Tav are so ridiculously beautiful, their child can only be drop-dead gorgeous, right?

Astarion’s stomach drops indeed when, suddenly, something occurs to him. 

Oh dear, what if it’s his fault? He has no recollection of his family whatsoever; it’s very much possible that he and his immaculate looks are the exception in his lineage, and that he’s passed on only those mysterious less-than-perfect genes…Tav, as per usual, can’t be the issue!

Astarion is still catastrophizing when the bundle in his arms begins to stir.

All of a sudden, gold-speckled pale green eyes are looking up at him as if to ask what the fuck this weirdo’s problem might be. 

“Oh,” the weirdo in question exclaims at once. “Darling, look, she has your eyes!”

Tav, hugging him from behind, rests her chin on his shoulder, so she can watch as Astarion’s finger tenderly strokes their baby’s chubby cheek.

Their daughter also has, as it turns out, ten fingers and toes, a cute little nose and a hungry mouth—everything that’s supposed to be there is there, and it seems to be working fine, too—which is a huge relief. 

And aren’t those the tiniest pointy ears Astarion has ever seen? Let alone the unexpectedly strong fingers grasping at his!

Astarion, worries forgotten in a heartbeat, can’t help but smile at the baby in his arms. 

She is perfect, after all. 

Tav, face hidden in the crook of his neck, begins to tremble against his back. 

For a second, Astarion thinks she’s crying but then her laughter fills the chamber. It takes her a good moment to articulate whatever it is she finds so very funny.

“She'll grow out of it, you know?” Tav giggles in between her fits of laughter. 

Astarion stiffens. “Of what?”

“The turnip look. That’s what you’ve been worrying about the whole time, haven't you?”

“I was leaning more towards potatoes—but yes, I might’ve been a little worried about that,” Astarion admits sheepishly, although a grin is already tugging at his lips.  

Regaining her composure, Tav reaches over Astarion’s shoulder, her hand joining his as they get to know their child.

“Give it a couple of days and she will look like your proper little elf—beautiful just like her father.”

A content sigh leaves Astarion’s lips, right before he presses them against Tav’s temple.

“That’s the second best news I’ve heard today, my heart, truly.”

[deadbaguette]

Gojo ‘I will ruffle your hair if you are shorter than me, and you definitely are’ Satoru

[shadowhaert]

TRAVIS MARTINEZ in Yellowjackets (2021-) [insp]

[nychthemeron-rants]

I love how much more complexity is added to the way Chilchuck acts when you realize he's a dad.

For example, his fear around being caught up with black magic. He's definitely the most worried out of everyone and it makes sense. Not only is he the most grounded in terms of thinkinh about the consequences of things, but he has the most at risk if they get arrested by elves. They explain that elves can take decades just to interrogate their prisoners. Dude's middle-aged and from the shortest lived race, he doesn't have decades.

But add on the fact that he's a dad. Of course he's the most worried! Not only will his arrest be bad for him, it would be bad for his kids! They'd probably never know what happened to him and would lose a parent at a young age (they're adults, but they're young adults. If Chil is 29, then Patti's only 14).

[wulfhall]

the saddest yet funniest bit in asoiaf is easily when theon returns to the iron islands and spends about an hour dressing up in his nicest furs and silks and wools and jewellery and goes to see the father he hasn’t seen in a decade. and balon is immediately like what sort of metrosexual nonsense have you picked up on the mainland? oh you’re wearing a necklace you bought? paid for? didn’t steal it from the corpse of a man you killed? are you fucking gay or something and theons like

okay sorry :( anyway dad do you want to read this letter from robb stark?

[radio-zephyr]

orv spoilers (?) ahead-its a small moment

i think genuinely one of the moments in the novel that really stuck to me, was a quiet small moment between kdj, when kdj was talking to lgy about his sponsor and he raises his hand- and lgy flinches. So kdj holds his hand until he stops trembling.

like that moment is just SO TENDER and quietly devastating. Because kdj loves lgy. But he also sees himself in lgy. And he can't love that reflection of himself.

Yet he still does love lgy sm, and when he raises his hand and realizes lgy's fear, he just holds his hand in silent comfort.. and just sits there with him. until he's able to calm down again, kdj just sits with him.

[screechingfromthevoid]

I don't think Orym is a jealous man. I don't think Braius flirting with Dorian is really doing anything. Besides making him insecure.

Orym will definitely convince himself that Dorian would prefer Braius. He's more on Dorian's level both physically and class wise. Hes only 3 inches taller than Dorian and they can bond over art. To Orym it'd the obvious choice, to choose Braius. It'd make sense that the tall beautiful bards would fall for each other. He doesn't see Braius' flirting as a threat because he doesn't even know he's in the running.

And because he's not a jealous man, if he truly saw Dorian show genuine interest in Braius, Orym would accept it. He'd understand. He'd swallow his feelings and keep them to himself. Because he doesn't think he should have these feelings in the first place. BECAUSE he doesn't want to get in the way or impose or ruin what they already have.

DORIAN HOWEVER is super jealous. As a younger sibling to a golden child I know how possessive someone can get over attention. That's why it was all shy smiles and biting pencils when Braius was flirting with him. But the moment Braius flirted with Orym he was immediately at attention. Because that's his little warrior. If anyone is going to flirt with Orym it will be him.

I think if Brauis (Sam) changed up his technique and started flirting with Orym more, we'd have Dorym love confession in like two weeks. I don't think Dorian can handle competition. Not about this. Not with Orym's heart on the line.

[pinacoladamatata]

please i am manifesting it

[noirtek]

strahm is so compelling to me because he’s still a hero while being such a bad person in so many ways that people you just meet in your day to day life are bad people. he is not a serial killer he’s not ontologically evil he doesn’t scam dying people out of their life savings. but he is an asshole for no reason other than to make others feel stupid he’s misogynistic he’s motivated by neurotic obsession and ego he’s dismissive etc etc but he’s still so human and we as the audience get to see him reduced down to base human terror and smallness multiple times!! we get to see the construction and performance of his personality get stripped away to expose someone who’s just a man desperate to survive in spite of his circumstances and that makes the viewer want to root for him!! regardless of his motivations and day-to-day cruelty he’s just a man who wants to survive and to protect others!! and then he dies whimpering without learning ANYTHING!!!!!

[chappellrroan]