#he’s still in my brain
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soul healed. yet another peter doodle
#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#starkid npmd#team starkid#peter spankoffski#he’s my friend#my sweet cheese#my good time boy#i forgot the rest of the words for the bit i have a headache rn#but you’d better believe it !#he’s still in my brain
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I hold onto your memory
Somewhere within my heart
Within the music and songs
Ill find you there, I know it
There will always be a part
Of me that always wants to hold on
Fading now as you may be
You’ll be there, in my heart
And I wont allow it to move on
#poem I wrote for a guy I saw at a concert momths ago#he’s still in my brain#musingsofmemory#poems#poetry#I haven’t posted in a while so have this short blurb
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trigunned the hades or hadesed the trigun (id in alt)
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millions knives#ruporas art#type of shit ive been on lately bc ive been playing an obsessive amount of hades 2 lmfao… ofc imstead of drawing fansrt for hades#i channel that energy into trigun?😭 SEE.. the thing is. i am ALWAYS thinking about a trigun game… like an action story game#it is rotating in my brain 24/7 and now after 7billion years i finally pick up a video game#and the inspiration sparked. obviously this is just a mere mimic of an existing media... but im thinking about the plot of max now#executed differently between mediums… webbing a new retelling of the original story as game mechanics allows you - thinking of the#new roles the characters would take. like wolfwood here is not Constantly by vash’s side but he will show up once a run to clear out an#encounter. shows up seldomly at home base to make gifting difficult... an existing companion and still journeys on his own. for more#relations options merylmilly will also have occasions where they separate so vash can speak to them individually - the gungho are not bosse#most of them get the roles of giving “boons” i think.. BUT ANYWAY thats me reimagining trigun into hades. now imagining trigun into an#ORIGINAL video game.... ough... ohhh....guhh... I WANT IT SO BAD!!!!!!!!#this was just a fun exercise... im thinking about doing more but i think i shouldactually draw some hades 2 fanart first
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something something a chat i am in discussing the loneliness of Armand who needs someone to define him and see him, so
"...it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time."
and yeah i kinda just want to give ppl hugs with anything i do and talk to them in hushed tones, so there you go
#art is a coping mechanism#fan art#interview with the vampire#daniel molloy#iwtv armand#armand de romanus#vampire armand#armand#eric bogosian#assad zaman#i still need to figure out Assad's anatomy#he's too beautiful#it makes the process tougher#Eric's face is fascinating in a completely different way#Assad's features seem simple to capture because ANIME VIBE but it's all about the tiny nuances#artist's rant#lots of words in the tags#also tmi but i perceive the world through touch and boy does sketching Eric tingle my brain in the best manner#iwtv spoilers#iwtv fanart#iwtv art#amc iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel
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was this anyone else's first thought, or
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#anglerfish#YES hiking jade let's GO#send him up the mountain to look at some funky mushrooms#love how delicately he's holding his lantern with his little pinky out#ooh la la monsieur mastermind#now what are the odds we're getting gargoyle-club malleus next#probably not good but LOOK let me DREAM#i also very much want the equestrian club. GIVE ME HORSE BOYS#actually just give me everyone i want to see everyone#man though the june schedule looking pretty light over here in jp#which always makes me think something big is coming up...#whenever they pull a training camp on us it instantly sends my brain into overthinking mode#chances are good it's more main story though!#we've been averaging every-other-month story updates for a while now and the consistency is nice#i'm still not over the eight months between the end of episode 5 and the start of episode 6...#(IT'S FINE i want them to take all the time they need! i am just impatient)#(i will happily wait but i will be rolling around on the ground the entire time)
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi meta#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#laios x kabru#dunmeshi#og post#kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo#the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races#he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits#he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations#he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information#my beautiful machiavellian prince <3#it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt#he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him#without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.
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2023 darkstalker floating in space doing nothing grinning evily and scary. png 1 and 2
#theres things i dont like in here but i also dont feel like retouching them so close ur eyes and pretend i did#no memory of drawing those btw. whenever i draw this guy i do in in a daze and hes on my canvas all finished up#my wof lore is that whiteout os my fav character evar so far but#instead of drawing her my brains forcing me to draw her annoying evil brother i hate#lim serious when i say i dont like him. but hes soooo fun to draw i cant say no to worlds evilest 17 year old teenager dragon. frown#i think i made those around the time i got the book which i still didnt get to read btw. sorry. this year was craszy#ill get to it. promise#darkstalker#wof#wings of fire#art tag#eyestrain
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sometimes, yaad wonders how he became his grandfather’s brother’s keeper.
#thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#yaad melini#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#post-canon my beloved. in my fic yaad only takes care of thistle like this for a week or two before caretakers come in#but the experience still took yaad's brain and rattled it around in his skull until he was dizzy#my art
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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From a Snake Queen to a Solitaire Peasant <\3
#In my brain I had to give Sam nasty frosted tips#I think in uni Alice convinced him it was a good idea and he's either still growing it out or he keeps it up#Either way nasty white tips#I hope I can post my Alice sam and Gwen doodles soon!!#tmp fanart#tmp#redacted tmp#the magnus protocol#the magnus protocol fanart#my art#wizzart#the magnus archives fanart#the magnus archives#tma#tma fanart#alice dyer#samama khalid#tma comic#tmp comic#Tmagp
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I returned to drawing Tiny Tim because I am a weak human being controlled by dopamine release
I think I'll make part two with Jason and Bruce, and I hope you want that too :p
#TINY TIM TINY TIM#rejoice my brain#now he is tiny but not so tiny as in my past sketches#still precious tho#tinytim™#tiny tim#tim drake#dc fanart#art#dc#batfam#tim drake fanart#dick grayson#batbros#batfamily#damian wayne#dick and tim#de aging
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#Bang Chan#Stray kids#bystay#staysource#jypartists#Christopher Bang#channiesnet#3rachasource#drm.pst#drm.gif#heyale#cheytermelon#.moonbeams#tuserchrissy#kiwitracks#bitsforkitts#forbelleseyes#userhyunchanz#amanda.tag#usersa#fornini#septicrebel#ykimchi#letterstoval#im still alive i swear lmao#he looks so FINE my GOD#my brain is full of static
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bleping doodles idk
#artblock is killing me#but drawning sanji with his tongue out is suprisingly fun#also from my lazy research when ppl stick out they tongues when focusing on smth it's because brain gaves up control over it for a moment#to use this brainpower for the task#so he is thinking very hard here#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#sanzo#zosanzo#acesan#<crumbles#and I still can't get used to the new tablet#I'm kinda miserable excuse me lmao#if you can read the smallest scribbles I think you have eyes of a hawk lmao#my art#doodles
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Flower Empowered.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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i've been thinking about Bruce and how he designed his suit. ive never read a DC comic ever but i saw someone post a panel from an issue where bruce melts the gun that killed his parents into a chest plate to protect his heart and thats justice or something On That Note im not sure if this is canon but i know i've read about how when Martha and Thomas got shot Thomas' jaw was shot off and the thought of Bruce using the gun that killed his parents to protect him while he avenges their memory while also leaving his jaw to be the most vulnerable part of his batsuit makes me feel things i cant articulate
#i think frownyalfred and/or bruciemilf have written Thomas' the jaw getting shot off#its just crazy that he goes through all this effort to protect his city and bring his parents to justice#but he can still die exactly how his father did everytime he puts puts the cowl on#im not sure if this makes any sense but i have Feelings#the hc of this is still cool in my brain#bruce wayne#batman#the waynes
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debrief.
early access + nsfw on patreon
#soap is naturally more volatile leading up to a full moon but he just also dislikes feeling sidelined.#his previous teams were always pretty heavy on the offensive#(there's also a part of him that's annoyed at himself for still finding simon hot even when he's being a bit of a tosser#OH ALSO. im testing out a newer brush on this one#since for some reason my brain decided i hate how thick my lines usually look :3#captain john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#monster 141 au#simon ghost riley#giragi art
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